Howdy, partner!
What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.
Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.
The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:
~~~~~
>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?
>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."
~~~~~
Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.
If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.
If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.
If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.
Thread 131! For all of your needs for Apple fun!
1 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
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11 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
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13 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18413021/
29 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18481892/
30 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18584132/
30.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20580492/
50 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
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77 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
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83 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
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90 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
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92 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack
Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26904000
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki
Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for human Sciddy!and sexy hooves
>>26966861
Rats...well I'm still going to post Pinkie being cute.
>>26966861
THIS THREAD IS CURSED BY THE SMILE OF EVIL
>>26966880
No, wait, we've got Pinkie preventing her from getting past her, we're good!
Happy wresltemania day, thread.Spoiler: It's gonna suuuuck.
OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~
>Tia? Gotta question.
"And I have... no, wait, false alarm, I have no fucks left to give."
>Right. How does our barter system work?
"...What a random question."
>Well, it's just, Ah' was talkin' ta' Dash, and one time she promised Fluttershy would totally work for some other pony for her for... a really long time, just for a book. Is that legal? Can ya' legally call dibs on makin' someone work for someone else, iffin' ya' know 'em? Can ya' trade stuff, like, a gun for a bag?
"The bigger question is, is there a law PREVENTING any of that?"
>...
"There is not."
>...
"There is no law saying no to that, I just assumed nobody would actually do that."
>...
"We should probably-"
>Yeah, probably. So ya' never thought-
"Not for a second."
>But ya' could've passed a law about it at any time.
"Any time! Who's going to contest that?"
>So, this is the fault of...
"Morally dubious ponies who would sell their friends services without their knowledge."
>...ahem.
"High horse a little cold up there?"
>Little bit, yeah.
"..."
>...Ya' know they got the term high horse from you-
"I KNOW!"
>>26966919
>it is a spoiler
>>26967019
>Celly literally invented the term "On your high horse"
...that makes too much sense.
>>26966861
All I see is a DCAU character, Bruce Timm style.
She is totally gonna fight batman.
>>26967162
>She is totally gonna fight batman.
...Sciderella totally sounds like a Batman villain name.
>>26966861
What a way to start the thread!
>>26967342
Like I said, all I see is Harley!!
Pinkie Preview Prophecies
>Applejack goes bananas!
>That's not my circus, but those are my badass monkeys!
>Rarity loves being a noir detective.
>Spike thinks 77 could be a good father figure and calls him Pop.
>DT is a surprisingly good weight spotter for 42 and makes her lift!
>Potatojack eats a watermelon!
>Sweetie Belle would rather just take the shortcut.
>Scifi Fanservice!
>>26966880
God that's adorable.
>>26967507
Still can't believe we pulled out all of them in one on the last one. That was impressive.
Goodnight, new thread.
>>26967969
Night, /pa/l
>>26966861
VIGILO CONFIDO
Morning, thread
>>26969795
mornin
>>26968820
Ha ha doesn't apply
>>26968820
Is that only for bugs?
>>26970386
Yesh, she's a hummie now though, so doesn't apply! Taking her our would just be murder!
>>26967507
>>Applejack goes bananas!
Blasphemy!
>42
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~~
>Majesty, I think you've gone too far.
"Do you finally believe me and understand what I'm trying to say about something being wrong?"
>...no? Not remotely.
"Then I have not gone far enough!"
>You know, while I understand the base logic, that still seems off to me.
"You're off to me."
>I'm having a harder time seeing the logic in that one.
"Just like you're having a hard time seeing why I'm right! Annnd, king me."
>...King me is checkers.
"Yep."
>And it doesn't mean you win, it just means you get a little taller and can move in another direction.
"Do you believe me yet?"
>No.
"Then I haven't won yet, have I? But I made a step towards it, which will aide in my ultimate victory!"
>...that... that actually makes sense.
"HAH!'
>I fear ever learning what goes on in your head.
"It's like, ninety percent improbable sex scenes, actually. There is no way we'd manage to finish before the rocket hit the planet!"
>...this is the last Queen of my entire race.
"And I'm the greatest Queen who ever lived, baby!"
>I can't deny that's true... and that scares me.
>>26971359
Do not peer into the eye of Madness, you will not like what you find.
>>26966861
Stop making the super deadly monster Queens cute!
>>26971592
People have different callings in life, anon. Some make stories, some make picture. Some of those stories are of a crazy ass cannibal queen who deep down is a badly damaged mother, some make pictures of those crazy cannibals getting noseboops.
World's a weird place, man.
>32
"Actarius"
'JJ'
~~~
"Okay, this is getting spooky."
'How did you possibly know that they were going to that restaurant?'
>Because you poor souls... I made reservations there.
"Really?"
>THREE WEEKS AGO, I made a very specific reservation for this day. It cost a pretty, non-refundable, penny, and I will not be getting that back. I paid for it on this day, on this hour, just to see what would happen.
"...Uh-"
>Call it an experiment.
'...I think you just dethroned 13 as unluckiest ling.'
>Every day, I regret not naming myself 31. Every. Single. Day.
'...'
>It would've been cool-
"Yeah, would've been cool."
>Just so long as we're all on the same page there.
LAST THREAD RECAP, TWO FOR ONE EDITION!
>Chitania and Sunset arrive at their destination, which is a brick building on the outskirts of town. There, Chitania shows why she needed Sunset's help, sort of. She reveals a case with something glowing inside that she got after battling a 'golem', but can't make work with herself thanks to compatibility issues. Sunset declares she'll make it work.
>Then the door slams open and an irritated 13 stomps in, demanding to know what Chitania did.
>Yelling occurs, intercut by Sunset having fun with the whole situation and screwing with 13, before Chitania eventually decides to tell her the truth about what happened at the square.
>Though 13 is despondent due to how little her mother cares what her actions caused, some fast talking by Sunset puts her at ease, and convinces her that Chitty actually did a good thing.
>Reluctantly, she asks if Chitania wants to spend some time with her, which she is all too excited to do.
>Sunset joins them, saying she wants to get the hottest, spiciest food she can find. This proves to be her downfall, bathroom wise.
>Dash tries training with Fluttershy, who's only job is to hold the watch. Chaos ensues, because of course it does.
>Mr and Mrs Cake get a big payday when Celly needs her cakes.
>AJ breaks down, and admits she messed up. After letting it sink in a bit, she realizes the only way to make this right is to get close to Sunset again, but she won't be able to while Chitania stands in her way. After a bit of thinking, she comes to the conclusion that maybe a certain someone will know...
>Pinkie later stumbles across her trying to fit into the vent, and thinks shes committing suicide. Weird suicide, at that. After explaining her situation, they try fishing in a vent, obviously looking for Arana,. This goes on for a long time, before Pinkie points out that AJ never filed the forms saying Arana can come back and live there.
1/5HOLYSHIT
>>26972044
>After a short search they come across her eating a sandwich, and Pinkie tries to be the bad cop for interrogation. When that's settled, Applejack asks her about Chitania, but instead Arana points out she doesn't know much, as she was just a little kid when they talked, and Chitania never really took her seriously. She also reminisces about her mom, pointing out how everyone gets mad when she tries to bring up her good points, so she doesn't want to do the same with Chitania. Instead, Applejack says she can talk about her mom however she likes, and that if anyone says different she'll straighten them out. With violence.
>This makes the skitterbug happy.
>AJ and Pinkie prepare to go, but before they do, Arana remembers one thing that might help them. She overheard that Twilight has a certain thing...
>Chitania's diary.
>Pinkie finds this cute.
>Actarius inquires about 32's shelter, particularly how he funded it, and gets no answer.
>Trenderhoof wants to get back to work.
>Chrysalis tries a great many tricks to learn what is ailing Shining, all of them fail.
>She puts together some grand plan again, but like always, it goes awry, thanks to 48, the ling with a gun and a banana, not being where he needed to be.
>One job, 48. One job.
>29 continues his battle with he Nightgaurd captain, Potsticker. It intensifies, even if the fellow nightgard seem to not care, and Mayor Mare and Zecora enjoy the show, until they break through the floor.
>Finally, they get down to the basics of what the issue is, that is to say 56 failing his 'test' and not being allowed in, and Potsticker says if 29 lets her hit him in the face, she'll let him try again. Without any hesitation, he does.
>Only, 56 intercepts the attack intended for 29, an attack that is just barely stops in time. He points out that any place that would make him watch his family get hurt for a test is a place he didn't want to be in, so she can shove the job!
>And, he passed.
2/5SOMUCHCONDESNING
>>26972079
>Potsticker reveals this was all a test. The Nightgard are like a family, and they would never work with someone who would ignore their family being in pain just to get stronger, or let them take the fall for them. She also points out nobody else ever took her up on the offer to fight her, 29 is the first. He snobbishly tries to blow her off, until she points out he did a good job with 56, and he loses composure.
>She says he's ready to start the long training to be a nightgard, right away.
>56 and 29 have a tearful goodbye, even though it will only be temporary, and after telling 29 he will make him proud, 56 leaves to begin his training.
>29 watches him go in tears, and says aloud he's already proud.
>Twilight tries to research something involving Marechiveli. When Spike finds out, she bribes him with pictures of AJ in underwear.
>Don't ask.
>Lavan continues his search for whatever the chaos is trying to keep in, but while doing so someone gets the idea to roast marshmallows on his flame. After consuming a large number of these marshmallows, Angel Bunny realizes he can talk! After eating a few more, he gains powers, enough he can escape.
>Lavan chases him down, eventually finding him now in control of the forest with the creatures bowing to him. When Angel Bunny begins to feel pain from the powers, Lavan reveals that's how he feels all the time, as he is a being that reality is trying to unmake every second, during his rant he grows several new parts of his old body.
>Unable to cope with it, Angel Bunny gives the power back, and goes back to being normal, before Lavan puts him back where he was.
>Berry Punch tries to get Mayor Mare's attention, despite the fact she's not around.
>Shining Armor finds it very weird that only Chrysalis seems to be trying to discover his 'problem'...
>Lightning Dust is rising to the challenge of her rival.
>So is Spitfire
3/5SODEEP
>>26972091
>Rarity and Rainbow Dash learn of what transpired, and Rarity is positively livid that Sunset said such things, declaring she is going to give them a piece of her mind when she finds them. After some searching, they stop for some spicy food, despite Dash's protests and insistence that such went badly for Rarity last time, and they stumble across none other than Chitania! They're going to confront her, just as soon as Rarity gets that food. Priorities.
>Luna won't notice Trixie.
>Or leave Cheeirlee alone.
>Suckerpunch and 41 make it to the wrestling event! But... no hotel. Whoops
>Idris and Cheese missed Canterlot
>PJ and Haymaker chat about jobs.
>Chrysalis gets an update on 29 and 56
>Screwloose is being held by some... unorthadox means.
>After a song and dance number, the CMC explain to the star being just what a cutie mark is!
>And... he's totally lost. The cutie mark is so vague it can mean literally anything. A flower can mean a teacher who helps students grow, or just... flowers.
>Not knowing the answer, being even further off even, enrages him, and he prepares to wipe out the world, to which the shining knight from earlier prepares to meet the challenge and battle him. But then Applebloom notices his mark, which is a galaxy, makes a little heart. He too notices this, though he never has before. Using this, the trio explains that sure, it looks vague to most, but that's because to most it's like a star in the sky, just a bit of light among a lot of others. But if you look close enough, you'll see to whoever it belongs to, it's their whole world. A cutie mark can mean anything, but to whoever it belongs to, it means everything, and he can understand that too if he just looks close enough.
4/5MUCHCONDENSE
>>26972104
>He understands at last, and his journey has ended! He hugs the CMC, Vekir, Winona and even the Sweetie Doll, and calls them his friends. He asks if they have any wish, and Applebloom says turn everything back to normal, despite him pointing out he can give ultimate power. She sticks with it, and he relents.
>At the end, she even invites him to come to Sweet Apple Acres, before he leaves and everything is back to normal.
>The Knight is joyous and happy, and tries to reward them, but Applebloom cuts him off and says she wants everything to go back to normal, and him being there is stopping that. He keeps trying to tell the backstory of the massive being and himself, but she's having none of it, and says she wants it back to the way it was. Eventually, he accepts this, and the invitation to join in at SAA on a later date as well, and leaves, sparing one last look to Sweetie Belle, who he had the most fun with.
>Vekir, Winona and the Sweetie Doll don't know what to do now that everything is normal, and are afraid.
>That's when a mare, who has a suit and was wearing one of those faceless masks before they were shredded, bursts in and asks how everything is normal and why isn't she dead and where's the cosmosis and did they always have those cutie marks?
>The CMC look down, and she's absolutely right.
>"Neat"
>Everything had changed.
Holy SHIT I had to cram to make this bearable. Two threads combined will do that.
If I missed anything or it was just too nondescript, do what'cha do /pa/ls, and fill in the blanks.
>>26972122
Phew! Was worried when this didn't show up last thread.
>AJ
"Pinkie'
~~~
"TWILIIIIIIGHT.... TWIIIII!.... TWIIIILOTTLAIGHTINTEHDAMNEEEEEVENING!"
>Ah' don't think she's in the lab, Pinkie.
"Well, that won't do. Quick! Get some suction cups, your rope, some glue, a bunch of oil and a welder! What we need to do is use the suction cups to scale into the vent, then when we reach overhead from the lab we'll pour the glue down onto the ground and feed your rope onto it! The glue hardens, sticking the rope the ground, and letting us literally pull the whole vent down into the lab! Using that, we can roll the high powered welder right down into the lab using the oil, and go to town on her vault, cutting it wide open! Then we grab the book, get out of there and go get banana nut smoothies!"
>...Or we could just open the door, cause Twilight is our best friend and gave us all instant and totally free access to it whenever we wanted.
"Well, I mean, yeah, we could do that, but how does the welder fit in?"
>...
"...Can we at least go get smoothies afterwards?"
>...Sure.
"Mission accomplished! Good job, team!"
>...
"I never get to do anything fun anymore..."
>Gwendolyn
"Pennydrop"
~~~~
>So, how much deeper do you suppose this dumpster fire is going to roll, Penny?
"Right into the shit, Winny. Right into the shit."
>...Did you just call me Winny?
"Did you just call me Penny?"
>...
"..."
>Nobody is around, right?
"I don't see anyone."
>..
"..."
>Da da da da daaa~
"She's Winny~"
>She's Penny~
>"And we're just having a ball on our biiigg aaaiiiirrship!"
>Da-
"DA!"
>...
"...Nobody can ever know."
>That just goes without saying."
>>26972785
Holy shit, that's fucking adorable.
>>26972866
Right?
Just breaking into showtunes because reasons, I love it.
>>26972785
>Winny
I think Ginny would have been better
>>26973106
They are in mlp, no matter how bad they are, they can't resist breaking out into song.
>>26973179
>Chrysalis
~~
>This day is going to be perfect...
>>26973216
That one is unique in that we make it trigger cadence.
>>26972079
>>Chrysalis tries a great many tricks to learn what is ailing Shining, all of them fail.
>>She puts together some grand plan again, but like always, it goes awry, thanks to 48, the ling with a gun and a banana, not being where he needed to be.
>>One job, 48. One job.
>Like, 10 or so stories
>Down to three lines
DAMN that's impressive.
This is gonna sound dumb, but why is the pastebin only current up to thread 84?
>>26973507
Because the most recent pastebin anon didn't give up the keys to someone else when they stopped. Albeit when they did we were up to date.
>>26973553
To be fair, I tried passing on the torch.... but no one wants to do all that work...
>>26973730
Tis true. I'd do it myself, but there's so much backlog, I'm too lazy to try. I'd need a lot of Hotpockets.
>>26973776
Even if we just made it up to thread 100...
>>26973730
I pretty much us what little free time I have writing.
That should tell you how much free time I have...
>>26973243
>Trigger cadence
Considering what happened, I'm surprised it isn't a legit trigger for her.
>>26973179
>No song from Tirek
That's how you know he was a shit villain.
>42
"18"
~~
>Ah, Eighteen. How is your current progress with revamping the town square going?
"A lot easier thanks to my assistants, actually."
>...You have assistants?
"Yep. Was just one a bit ago, but then she convinced other guys to give it a shot, and before you know it I was up to five!"
>So that's, what, seven total ponies running all major aspects of our government?
"Eight! Cadence is so helping! And actually helping, not just the fringe stuff!"
>...
"Eight is still a decent number!"
>...
"...yeah, we need to work on that, but nobody does it right unless I'm directly overseeing them!"
>You ever wonder if the problem is that you're a perfectionist to such a degree you over-analyze everything far more than any reasonable, non-obsessed pony ever could match?
"..."
>...
"...Nah, that's not it."
>Of course not.
"See, that's why you're my bestie."
>...Eighteen, may I ask something, confidentially?
"Of course! What can I do for you?"
>Are we avoiding Canterlot?
"..."
>Because we used to go there all the time.
"..."
>Now we don't and haven't for what feels like a very long time.
"..."
>Is... is that what we're doing?
"...I... don't... know..."
>...You're still thinking of stabbing-
"Only occasionally!"
>Ah. This makes everything more clear...
>>26974454
To be fair, if the season premier is any indication, the population is... lacking.
>>26974680
They're working on that!
>Two
"Classmates"
'Teacher'
~~
>...
"..."
>...Uh...
"Your mom is pretty. There, I said it."
>...I dunno how ta' react ta' that.
'Class, listen up! Today, we're going to be looking at famous dragon slayers!'
"Again?"
"Yeah, why do we keep doing that?"
'Oh, you know... just planting a seed.'
"For... what? Only dragon I know is Spike."
"Spike's cool!"
"He's really cool!"
"He saved the Empire and everything!"
'It'll make sense way, way, waaaaayyyyy later. Trust me. TRUST ME.'
>...Is this causa that other changeling Queen-
'NOBODY WILL EVER PROVE IT!'
>...
'And I was certainly not visiting Canterlot the other day, I certainly did NOT see something that scared the shiny bits out of me, and anyone who implies different is a liar!'
>...Uh-
'Oh, hush you! If he'd just finished the job then we'd beeeee....'
>...
'Nevermind. Dragons! Fighting! You guys like that.'
>...I dunno how ta' react to anything today.
>>26975272
>Actively training your class to fight Chitania
I think this has gotten out of control.
>>26975472
>Chitania has not been attacked by a massive mob of crystal children wearing cardboard armor
I say it hasn't gotten out of control enough.
>>26975472
I know, she hasn't even taught them what to do if Chitania is backed by powerful unicorn providing cover fire and a Changeling with super mind-control powers. She needs to step up her game.
I'm sure Shiny would agree.
>>26975680
Shoot the Medic!
...we're calling prostitutes medics now!
>>26975696
>Room full of the physically strongest Queen ever, a unicorn prodigy on par with a princess, and a mindcontroller on par with any changeling Queen despite not ever being ascended
>Everyone tries to kill you
Being prostimare is suffering.
>>26975767
>The physically strongest Queen ever, a unicorn prodigy on par with a princess, and a mindcontroller on par with any changeling Queen despite not ever being ascended.
I know we are all about the laughs, but that's some pretty scary shit right there.
Well, unless you think of them as min-maxed adventuring party trying to fell a God. Then it gets cool.
>tfw can't continue wacky wrestling story because I can't stop watching wrestling
Bollocks
>>26975941
Oh, the irony!
>>26975977
Three black guys just popped out of a giant cereal box dressed as the Ginyu Force.
This night is fucking bananas.
>>26975872
Don't worry, 13 is still super loyal to Chrysalis, she's got the other two.
>>26975872
>Well, unless you think of them as min-maxed adventuring party trying to fell a God. Then it gets cool.
...
NC
>Chitania
"Sunset"
'13'
(SN)
~~~
>What the fuck did you call this?
"OnO. It's a game. A game for fun. It's fun."
>Why is this in front of me and why am I here?
"Like I said, fun!"
>I do not like this.
"Your daughter is enjoying it."
'No, I'm not.'
>Well, if she's here...
'I just said no.'
"If nothing else, the hooker is enjoying it."
(Yayyy! I'm gonna be a princess! Princess princess princess!)
"Princess isn't a class."
(Can I be one anyway?)
>Let her be a princess.
(Thanks, Chitty!)
"Ugh... well, what're you going to be, a barbarian?"
>This is all pretend, right? I don't actually get to hit anything?
"You do not."
>...I want to be a wizard.
"..."
>Shut up and let me be a wizard.
"I... guess?"
'I want an armored knight. Like, super fucking armored. I want to be a walking stonewall death machine. Put everything into defense, I want to be unbreakable!'
"..."
'What?'
>Yeah, isn't this how we're supposed to play?
(Princess princess princeeeessss!)
"...I'm going to be an undead lich."
>...
"I'M WORKING THROUGH ISSUES, OKAY!?"
>>26976765
I want it to be real, maybe OOCO right now since they're still in the resturant, but I want it to happen
>>26976792
...What would happen if they met with the main crew?
>>26977092
>farther along in the story everything's calm and Chitty's grown a soft side bigger than 13
>Chitty's gang meets the CE crew for a game of OnO
>This combination somehow creates something never before seen
>a game that lasts longer than half an hour and has no sexual stupidity
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Maud]
~~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but the show must go on! Now for our main segment...PRANKING WITH THE PINKS!
"I'm the pretty one <3"
'I'm the grumpy one.'
>And I'm the crazy one! We're going to be pranking my sister Maud!
>"'Yaaaay!'"
Cut to Maud's dream where she's sitting next to her pet rock, Boulder.
[Boulder, what do you feel like doing today?]
DT throws her voice in.
'I want to roll.'
Maud opens her eyes slightly wider for a moment.
[Boulder...your voice...did you always sound girly?]
'Yes. In fact, I am a girl.'
[...this is an extremely shocking revelation. This changes my whole perspective on our time together.]
'I have a confession, Maud. I've been seeing another rock.'
Maud widens again for a moment.
[...Who?]
Holder's Boulder rolls in and Cadence's voice can be heard.
"Me. Boulder and I are in a hard relationship."
[Holder's Boulder is also female?]
'She provides me the girth that I need.'
[...I understand.]
>Just kidding! You were just on Pranking with the Pinks! It was all a ruse!
[Oh...heh.]
Maud wakes up and looks at Boulder.
[So it was all a dream prank...I would still respect your wishes though Boulder.]
Maud looks out to a house of the Crystal Empire.
[I shouldn't...]
She takes out a hammer and chisel, breaks off a piece.
[...I am just too weak.]
She eats it.
*CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH*
>>26977202
You can feel Maud's devastation.
>>26977202
Damn it, Maud! We can't keep covering that up!
You got lucky one time, it ain't happening again!
>>26977110
>and has no sexual stupidity
I DON"T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD
>>26977770
We had an entire arc around doing the dnd without it ending turn one fighting over Shiny's dick and it was great.
>Spike
"Twilight"
~~
>...Should I be questioning this?
"Nope!"
>I feel like I should be questioning this.
"Nuh uh! Just gonna go visit my BBBFF! Totally unrelated to annnnyyything that's happened recently!"
>Uh huh.
"So unrelated, you don't even know!"
>Right.
"Zero relation, is what you should take away from what I'm saying."
>...
"None."
>...Twilight, what's in the box?
"A... surprise for Shiny! Just said that, you gotta listen more often."
>What's in the box?
"Can't tell, it would spoil the surprise!"
>WHAT'S IN THE BOX!?
"..."
>WHAT"S IN THE BOOOOOXXXX!?
"...NGH!"
BLINK!
>FAUSTDAMN MAGIC HORSE POWERS!
>>26978316
>I was so jealous of AJ's pretty head...
>>26978316
Thhheeere spike is. I wondered where he went.
>>26978316
Not only did this remind me of a stellar movie, it made me remember that we once did a NC spoof of said movie, with Spike in that same position if I remember right.
>>26979162
Yeah but if I remember right, he wasn't talking to Twilight.
Good night, thread.
>>26980036
G'night Anon.
>>26980658
But good morning to you.
>>26981093
You too bud, you too.
>>26979162
I knew it looked familiar.
>>26981752
Besides the obvious you mean.
>>26980036
>>26980658
>>26981093
>>26981473
Cute anons
>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
~~~
>...
"Awww, Cheer up, Niney! It's all going to be fine. Just think about it, him, out there, learning how to fight...."
'Learning how to make his strikes be true. How to turn his opponent black and blue...'
"Oh! And powerbombs! He's probably learning powerbombs."
'And crosschecks and haymakers as well! Maybe even a necksnap to make sure they're fell!'
"And then he lines up the shot and is like YEAAAHHHHH!"
'BOOOM! Upon their head! One shot and DEAD!'
>...
"...But I'm sure he's learning teamwork and stuff too."
'That'll be cool. He's no fool.'
>...
"...Just don't think about him in a fight-"
>Nneeeeeee....
'Too late, we've gone just a little too far. He is thinking those thoughts, we know what they are.'
>Eeeeeee...
"...I'mma still think it."
'BOOM!'
"RIGHT IN THE EYES!"
>Eeeee
>>26982651
>MM and Zecora are wrestling fans
Saw it coming.
>18
"???"
~~
>Maybe I am overly analytical... I mean, I can do that sometimes, can't I? It doesn't mean I'm obsessed, I just need to... work on it, yeah! Just need to bring it down a notch! Like here, with this paper that lovely mare down the hall did, I don't have to go over eeeeeverything she did, no! I just have to... well, she did kinda write her Nine wonky there, maybe just a quick touch up- oh, dear, she spell Cadence's name funny, I'd better... you know looking over this whole thing shouldn't take that long and you know what on second thought why don't I just redo the whole thing andaaaaHHHH! FORTY TWO!
FWOOSH!
"What is it!?"
>Ahhhh... thank you, that's plenty.
"...You... you just wanted me to teleport in here?"
>I just needed a reminder that I don't have the only, or worst, addiction here, I'm good!
"..."
>...
"...I need new friends."
FWOOSH!
>>26983244
Good luck with that.
Not a whole lotta ponies who can put up with a punch obsessed social invert.
>>26983398
Bah, she does pretty good. AJ liked her best before the... incident.
>>26983520
I like to think she still does, even now. She has to have a little respect for someone who would break professionalism just to tell the person who hit your friend she's a bitch.
>>26983570
Yeah, me too. I like to think they still write each other those back and forth letters like from before.
>Cadence
~~~~
>I can do this...
It felt so good to be able to say that, and actually mean it this time.
>I can do this.
The papers before her did not fly with the speed she had seen others do. She found it a little funny that even Applejack, a farmer by trade who knew nothing of litigation, was far surpassing her in ability, despite her entire youth of training. At this moment, she was just trying to play catch up. Which, thankfully, she was.
>I can do this.
Little by little, one at a time, she took the reigns. She was taking over, getting back up again, and doing what she should have been doing this whole time. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fast, but she was doing it, and she was winning.
Every time she put another piece of paper in the finished pile, she was winning.
>I'm doing this.
To think, none of it would have happened, nothing would have changed, if her whole world hadn't fallen apart. If things hadn't changed so rapidly a very short time ago, if the whole curtain hadn't fallen away, she still would be just as she was, relying on everyone else to handle this. To be a face to bring happiness, and little more. If things hadn't changed, she herself would still be staunchly the same.
>...maybe I should thank her after all.
>>26983946
>Rarity is not a shit
What world have I fallen into and how do I get out of it?
>>26983570
Oh, I'm positive they've long since buried the hatchet, but you know 42, she's not one for openly showing emotions, because when she does she goes fucking bananas.
>>26984096
Give her a couple minutes after the spicy food.
>>26983763
>42's letters
Oh dear fuck that would be like reading an instruction manual every time.
>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~
The Prince of the Crystal Empire, Shining Armor, was known far and wide for his ability.
The former Captain of the Guard had prided himself on casting, and very much being, unbreakable. In magic, and in many, many other aspects of his life.
That said, something was about to break.
>Really?
And it may, or may not, be the Queen of all Changelings who had appeared in his doorway again, that twinkle in her eye that said something was churning behind her glimmering gaze, a plan that no doubt would go off just as well as any of the others.
But when she saw him give her that look, the sparkle died down, and became dull and lifeless.
"...Damn."
What the flash of her horn meant, Shining Armor did not know, nor did he care to know. It meant she would not try whatever it was she was going to try at the moment, that was all the information he could ever need.
The explosion he heard was probably unrelated anyway.
>Chrysalis... What are you doing?
Her devilish tongue flicked, no doubt trying to find exactly the words to throw off any suspicion to her plans, whatever they may be.
This time, those words did not find their way free. Instead, something else did, a noise that was both dismissive, and affirmative, all at once. She shrugged to say she didn't know while grunting to say she knew exactly what she was doing in a duality that made as much sense as a carrot filled with ice cream.
Her eyes, sharp and deadly as ever, softened when she finally met his gaze.
"Something's wrong."
He waited a minute for more, an explanation that was not to be, before he sighed, and with one sweeping wave of his magic, he shut the door behind her.
He stared at her for some time, his hooves finding their way in front of his muzzle before gently coming together over and over. He stared with a look that tried it's very best to be blank, and in doing so managed to say so very much.
She took the unsaid invitation.
1/6
>>26985196
"Look, I know how I sound, but... there's something wrong, okay!"
Her voice had gained a hiss of annoyance and frustration. Her movements had become a little more wild, and every so often she would tug impatiently on her hair at the irritation of not being heard.
"There's something just... not right with you! Something's off, and I don't care if I sound crazy!"
He took a deep, calming breath, making sure his hooves were connected in front of his face to hide that fact as best he could, before he spoke with an even tone.
>Chrysalis, I'm fine. It's just been a rough few days, and that's all. Thank you for your concern, but you're seeing things that aren't there, and I-
"Don't lie to me!"
His jaw locked up in shock at her harsh words, far more unforgiving than he could recall hearing from her in more than a year. So taken aback, he found himself unable to react when she advanced on his desk, and her long neck closed the distance even more so over it.
"You're not normal, damn it! Something's wrong, something's just... nngh, with you! So just tell me what it is already!"
He kept her gaze for as long as he was able, hoping, perhaps more than that, that she would back down and move on. She never did. She remained, and everything about her body language said she was going to remain every second until she got what she wanted. Even when his eyes turned into a glare to try to scare her off, she held fast, and waited.
With one more powerful thrust of his magic, every single bolt and lock on his door closed shut, and a strange hue overtook the entire room in a second. For all the world was concerned, the Prince of the Empire and the Queen of the Changelings had ceased to be, and would remain so until this matter was settled.
>Have you been reading my mind again?
His accusation was as harsh as it was direct, and offered no sympathy on the matter.
"What!? No!"
>Chrysalis, you tell me right now if you've been reading my mind without me knowing.
2/6
>>26985210
"I just said no! I haven't done anything like that since..."
She trailed off, no other words needed said.
>Really? I'm finding that hard to believe right now.
That one had hurt her, that much would have been obvious to the most socially lacking being on the planet. It had struck deep, and the pain had sent her reeling more than any attack ever had.
"How... how could you say that?"
The tone of her voice, on any other day, would have sent him backpeddling, trying to make amends for the obvious hurt he had caused in someone he cared about.
This was not like any other day, not by a long shot.
>Well, let's look at the facts. You're the only one pressing the matter, everyone clearly thinks you're crazy, and my wife, the mare I'm dating, my friend and my daughter all don't see anything wrong at all. They all know me, and think I'm just a little tired, but you seem to have some piece of information that says otherwise. A logical explanation is that you read my mind, and that you saw something you misinterpreted and now won't let it go, or...
Even though every single word had left it's mark, she was still standing after it was all said and done. She hadn't backed off, or backed down, no matter what the creases in her face spelled out what she very much wanted to do, which was flip this table, maybe hit him, and run away.
Even though there was a rasp to her words when she spoke, she could not stay silent.
"...I'm not reading your mind, I just... see it."
He, not her, was the one who ended up leaning back.
"I can't... explain it, alright. It's not fucking mindreading, I'm not crazy, but it's there, something is just... wrong with you."
Her head shook from side to side as she looked him over, as if to find a crack or fault in a glass vase.
"There's something wrong, and it's not good, and it's not... you. You're not you right now, you're not how you're supposed to be. Something's... wrong."
3/6
>>26985228
The simple words did not even come close to conveying what she wanted said. Yet, the more she thought on it, the less she found she could say. Nothing seemed to fit, or feel right.
He didn't say anything to her in response, content to keep that same harsh look he'd held before.
"Shining Armor... tell me I'm wrong, and everything is fine, and... I'll go."
She was being honest, he could tell without a second thought to it. All he had to do was say the words, and this would be the end of it. All he had to do was placate her and she would be on her way.
All he had to do was lie to her.
"Well?"
His mouth dropped open, but all that came out was air. He began to open and close his jaw, his lips trying to form the words, but nothing came out. Something in his chest had seized his breath, something in his head was ringing too loudly for him to hear if he was saying things or not, his throat hurt too much to let out anything he wanted said.
He tried, and he tried, to say it, but in the end he couldn't.
>...how do you know?
Asking her was all he could do.
"I don't know."
She reached out over the desk, trying to touch his two-toned hair. Unable to move, he let her brush it to the side, enough she could see something welling up behind it.
He felt exposed, vulnerable in that moment, the same feeling he got whenever his shield of magic was broken. Even though there was nothing to be afraid of on the Queen's face, he felt like running away, and hiding, just to feel less out in the open and powerless.
>Don't...
She flinched when he said that, the raw emotion getting to her as easily as the harsh words had earlier. Her hoof pulled back like a startled animal, curling against her chest as she looked down upon the stallion she no longer recognized.
>Don't let them know...
He looked weak, pathetic even, as he pleaded with her, begged her as much with his words as he did his eyes.
4/6
>>26985236
>They can't know, they... they can't... they need me to be... I can't, okay? I can't be that... look, it's not you or anyone, it's... it's them, okay? It's only when I think about... them...
His words came out in a jumbled mess, falling over each other as they tried to come out half formed and half baked. The more he spoke, the more the changeling felt herself moving away.
>Just... don't tell them. Don't tell anyone, especially... them.
She understood, and that frightened her. She knew exactly who he spoke of, and exactly what it was she had seen this whole time. She had not been able to believe it, not before this moment. It had not even crossed her mind, nor seemed plausible, or even possible. Looking at him right now, it all fell together, even if her mind wouldn't quite let her accept or believe it, just yet. She had to look at him again, forcing herself this time, until she couldn't deny it any longer.
He was angry. More than that... he wanted something more.
This was not the Shining Armor she knew.
>Please?
He need not ask anymore, and he doubted he could speak again if he wanted to. She nodded, her neck stiff and creaking as she did so, in acceptance. At once, he seemed so much more at ease, so less defeated than he had before, and the breath that came out positively oozed relief.
>Thank you...
She didn't say any longer, nor could she stay. She just gave one more understanding nod of her head, and the fire came to carry her away. To take her some place alone, and quiet.
>How did you know?
When she arrived, the emptiness just didn't seem to do it justice. She was alone, none would find her here, they would not see her in the state she was in.
To call her shocked did not do it justice, to call her unsettled was too much an understatement, she was on another level entirely. The more she thought about that face, what she had seen, what she now understood was there, the more she couldn't believe it was him.
5/6
>>26985247
It pained her, and it only grew worse when she thought about, and came to a conclusion why, she had been the only one to see it. Cadence, Eighteen, Forty Two, Spitfire, little Two... none of them had seen it. Even if they had, they probably wouldn't have understood it. She did.
The more she thought of him, the more she wondered about things, how long this had been there, how long had it been hidden... and if it had always been there or not. She found herself wondering if she had simply missed it, been blind to it this whole time as the others were. If she had only seen the parts she wanted to see, and not those she would find distasteful. If he had always been what she now thought of him, or if this whole time, he had been something... else.
It was good that none were around to see her. If they had, they probably would wonder why she started to laugh. Nobody would understand, even she herself did not completely understand. She could place no reasoning to it when she thought of this, that he was less or worse than she had thought before, but something was still the same in her. Even though he might be different, one thing in her was not.
She wanted to help him.
She laughed, though she did not understand why. She laughed and laughed, until her chest hurt. She laughed and laughed, until there were tears in her eyes. She laughed, and she smiled.
She understood one thing, yet still was so very lost.
"I guess they were right..."
She could not stop, nor slow her mind as the wheels already began to turn, yet another plot, another plan, already in motion in her brain, locked on in that way it always was when she had the unshakable determination to see the plot come through. She could not stop it if she wanted, and the more she did think, the less she found she wanted to.
She couldn't help herself, and she understood why.
"I guess I am just crazy..."
Shining Armor would never know what hit him.
>>26985254
...Did anyone else think this was gonna go a "she sees his bad side and doesn't like him as much anymore" direction for a second?
>>26985340
I kinda did.
Now, how's Caddy gonna react when she learns, Chrysalis understands(apart) of her husband better than she does?
>>26985340
I totally thought that too. That she was going to learn he's not the perfect shining knight and reconsider what it is she likes about him.
That she immediately just accepted it and still wants him to be okay is touching... but weird.
>>26985377
>Now, how's Caddy gonna react when she learns, Chrysalis understands(apart) of her husband better than she does?
I just took it that she understands and accepts the part of her that sometimes wants motherfuckers dead, and she can see that in Shiny.
>>26985340
>>26985377
>>26985504
I kinda did, but then I remembered who we're talking about, this is CHRYSALIS, the mare who raped Shining Armor, kidnapped Cadence, and kicked Celestia's ass. If Shiny decided to befriend her in spite of all that, how the fuck could she not do the same in return?
>>26985690
I see where they're coming from, since him befriending her and NOT holding a very dark grudge is one of the things that really attracted her to him and made her think he was 'special', if her drunken admission is any indication.
That she can accept that maybe she wasn't right and maybe he did really have some dark feelings for her this whole time, it is pretty shocking. She clearly was thrown for a loop there when he admitted it and she realized what he meant. I mean, I never thought she'd dislike him or treat him different, but I see where the whole "the veil is gone and he's not so shiny anymore' comes from.
Still, if there's one thing Chrysalis is good at, it's rolling with it.
>>26985254
>Shining Armor would never know what hit him.
DAMN IT CHRYSALIS
DAMN IT
YOU LITERALLY JUST WALKED IN THAT ROOM REALIZING YOUR PLANS SUCK
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA FIGURE IT OUT
>>26985377
That's pretty fucking gay is what that is
>AB
"SL"
'SB'
-Vekir-
~Winona~
(Doll)
{???}
~~~
>Maybe if we go up this way? It's the shortest route.
"That's stupid, that'll take us straight through Detrot again! Do you want to go back to Detrot again!? DO YOU!?"
'Yeah! Lets take the short route, then I can go visit Shiv and see how he's doing!'
>...Ah' refuse ta' believe that's his name.
'He says it's because he's really good at stabbing-'
"NEVERMIND!"
'Short route!'
>No, let's take the long route with none o' this bullhonky in the way!
'I want the shooortt rouuuttteeee!'
"Your sister is a crappy influence."
'What do you mean? I learned that from my mom... though she usually has to take a shower after Daddy says yes for some reason.'
"...So many questions, answered."
{EXCUSE ME!}
They had not reacted the last five times the mare had desperately tried to get their attention, and they would not change that now.
{Do none of you seriously want to know what just happened!? What you just stopped!? There's... there's a faustdamned living doll right there!}
(Don't bring me into this!)
{You're going back in the cell!}
(NEVAH! Protect me, dog!)
~I would rather chew on your hoof. You look very chewy.~
{And you! What containment cell did you even escape from!?}
-Vekir is not monster, no matter what fillies scream when magic suit comes off!-
{That's a robot suit!? Where... where did you even get that!?}
>Do ya' mind? We're tryin' ta' figure out how ta' get home.
{Yes I mind! You just... you freaking stopped an interdimensional being! With words! And songs! And everyone who should totally be dead is not dead, me included! I was eaten! I WAS EATEN!}
>That's nice.
{No, it wasn't! And now, you don't even care! You totally blow me off when I tell you what this organization is or what we do or why there was a freaking interdimensional meltdown two minutes ago!}
>Don't care. We gotta get home.
{WHY!?}
1/2
>>26986071
>We gotta show off our cutie marks! Applejack's gonna be so proud!
"Rainbow Dash is gonna be all... mind... blown..."
'And Rarity will be so happy! And mom and dad might notice too!'
{ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR CUTIE MARKS!?}
>Lady, come on... cutie marks.
"CUTIE MARKS."
'We have them!'
{...I just... I...}
>Oh, hey! Look, this train takes us right back ta' Canterlot! Woo! Let's go, Winona!
~Finally. I don't know about you all, but I could use a bed and a belly rub.~
"Score! Come on, Vekir!'
-This all means Vekir is best ambassador, right? Vekir DARES anyone to say they are better at ambassadoring.-
'Woo! Uh... Oh! Hop on, doll me!'
(Okay, flesh me!)
{Wait what, why!?}
'Everyone else was doing it and I wanted to fit in.'
{You can't just take an unstable being like a living doll version of yourself off of the quarantined premises just so you have a plus one! That breaks so many rules! All of the rules!}
'You want me to call mister Shiny Pants back in here? He gave me his number, I'll do it.'
{...You know what? Take her. All yours.}
'YAY! Come on, doll me! You're going to do all of my chores, Rarity will never know!'
(I... feel like you're not grasping just what I am-}
'ALL THE CHORES!'
>Well, Crusaders, it's time ta' go home.. thanks for the tacos!
{Wait, you ate those!? Those were-}
>Do not care! Bye!
Just like that, it, and so much else, was over. The crew of six happily hopped to their hooves or other appendages, and with an uncaring and tunnelvisioned skip, they made their way out the door, and towards wherever it was that would take them home.
They, all of them, were so very done. Their journey, at last, was over.
'You know, it's a little weird, but there's a super shortcut through-'
>"({~-NOOOOOO!-})"
They were done.
>>26986078
Awww, it really is over.
Well, I can't say I didn't enjoy every second of it, and it was a hell of a ride.
>>26986118
It's for the best. You really can't slip back into "Let's go on another adventure!" after AB was just done so soon.
>>26985807
You think about her in the worst way. All her plans are near perfect, they would work, but there is always someone there or someone that isn't there that causes the issues.
It's only her fault for coming up with the plan, its usually whose involved during the execution of said plan that fucks things up. If she does this solo, she'll be fine.
>>26986078
...oh my god we have a replacement for Dollestia now
also, anyone find it funny that it's a plush doll given that her big sister is Rarity?
>>26986320
To be fair it was her who fucked up the wedding plot...
>>26986329
I know she wasn't much of a character, but I hope that isn't the last we are of Dollestia, especially now.
The doll part didn't matter next to the rock, it's not like she's dead-dead.
>>26986048
>Ha! You like Shiny, gaaayyyyy!
"Cadence... What gender do you think I am?"
>...male?
"...."
>But... But Pinkie told me Queens are... My life is a lie!
>>26986750
From the mare that put out a book about counting to/past blue, I am not surprised in the slightest.
>>26986750
>Wait, don't you have an ovipos-
"NO! FOR FUCKS SAKE NO! We reproduce with standard reproductive methods that involves us looking like ponies, why the FUCK would I have one of those!? What, do you think nobody would fucking notice their wife is suddenly packing!? Why did anyone think that!?"
>...Well, the novels on you all are horribly inaccurate.
"FOR FUCKS SAKE!
>>26986750
'No no, Caddy! Drag queens! Drrraaaggg Queen's, that a completely different thing!'
>Oh, phew! I get it now!
'Yeah, it's more like what Big Mac does... sorry, what "Orchard Blossom" does.'
~WAIT WHAT!?~
>>26986078
Who wants to bet they get home and nobody even knows they were gone?
>>26987441
Oooh sister bonding to make it up to them. Passive aggression to the max!!!
>>26987764
AJ might just kill herself five times in a row for this failure
>>26987808
C-C-COMBO SUDOKU
>>26988074
>Someone get me a bullet, a shot of cyanide, a blimp on fire, a rabid dog and alllllllll the cider!
>>26988123
didn't we say Alicorns had poison immunity and thu-
never mind the barf chronicles proved that wrong
>>26988269
>didn't we say Alicorns had poison immunity
Actually, we said the exact opposite way back in the gala. AJ did it, in fact, and yes it was exactly what you said on how she proved it, that if they weren't able to be poisoned then they couldn't get drunk.
I think it ended with Shiny getting thrown up on.
>>26988290
... SO IT WAS HER THAT DID IT! SHE CURSED SHINY TO FOREVER TO BE THE TARGET OF ALL NEARBY VOMIT, FOR EVERYTHING INGESTED AND THEN REGURGITATED COMES FROM THE EARTH!!!
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!
>>26988342
>her wild drunken magic unknowingly cursed shiny forever
oh my god
>>26988342
Blargh curse waaaayyyy predates the gala.
It was actually Celestia who did it first, back when she was ranting pissed at Shiny, in the talk that would eventually fix their friendship http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16130720/#16235004
>>26988419
Blargh existed before, blargh curse didn't start until the gala, check I bet you won't find it happening at any other reason except maybe normal drunkness or sickness.
During and after you will find him getting hit at random for very far away nothing quite as close up as what happened with Celly. You'll see...Plz see, I would hate to be wrong when I am so sure... plz thread ghost, let me be right!
>>26988483
What part of the blarg-curse, specifically?
The whole "Drunken ponies/changelings just find him" was earlier, as proven here http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16379525/#16404497 when, post princess meeting(that they didn't attend), everyone managed to find him by crossing a continent pre-portal times. In fact, by gala time it's so common Shining puts it together that Two is only after him during rollerball finale.
The "Blarg teleports to him no matter where they are" was only present post-gala though.
>>26988608
yeah she cursed him with teleporting BLARGH
>>26988689
>The "Blarg teleports to him no matter where they are" was only present post-gala though.
Ah... so it cumulative!
>AJ
"Pinkie'
~~~
>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...Do ya'll have any idea how ta' work her computer dohicky?
"I don't even know what half of these buttons mean, and I'm pretty sure I'm just looking at the floor tiles."
>We really should'a paid attention when she was tryin' ta' show us how this thing worked.
"Or at least not made funny faces and musical notes behind her back."
>Or just done pretty much anythin' with this for the, what, year she's had it?
"She went crazy one time, she could've done anything with this."
>That was pretty irresponsible of us.
"..."
>Maybe we oughta wait for her to get back?
"Orrrrr, we could hit every button because buttons are cool."
>...
"Do you have anything better?"
>Ah'... Ah' don't. Is that sad?
"No more sad than anything else we've learned in the last five minutes."
>So really, really sad?
"Pretty much."
>...Push away.
"Annnd, PINKIE RAPID BUTTON ATTACK GO!"
>Whatever comes next... Ah' deserve it.
>>26989093
NOOOOOOO
>>26989093
Oh this is not gonna end well...
WE NEED SOME HUMOROUS FILES, VIDEOS, AND AUDIO LOGS BEFORE WE GET TO THE GOOD STU-...I MEAN THE BETTER STUFF!
Faust know everything between now and then will be golden!
>>26989438
NC
>Twilight
"AJ"
'Pinkie'
~~
>Would you do me?... I'd do me.
"HIT MORE BUTTONS NOW!"
'Now now, let's see where this goes...'
"PINKIE!"
'Awww, I never get to have any fun.
>>26989093
I COULD NOT GET THE IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD UNTIL I PUT IT ON PAPER! SUFFER WITH ME! SUFFER!!!
>>26989515
>>26989515
I saw this.
>>26989515
Pfffttahahahah, that's adorable.
>>26989515
INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!
>>26989515Why is that do funny?
>>26989438
>Twilight recording
"Spike Recording'
~~~
>Alright, and... love potion test number three, go!
"You realize that Cadence is going to be ticked you did this, right?"
>Pfft, I'll just throw some lip gloss off the edge of the city, she'll forget everything.
"You have issues."
>Besides, this is for her own good! A potion that can make ponies fall in love? BRILLIANT!
"It just seems like a perversion of everything she does."
>More so than her literal love-magic spell? You know, the magic spell in the shape of a heart that makes them feel love. I'm clearly perverting that sanctity, right?
"...Huh."
>Drink up dragon boy.
"Fine, fine..."
>Weelllll?
"...well, I'm not in love with anything, but I'm going to need, like, two minutes in the bathroom."
>What? Wh-OH DAMN IT SPIKE!
"You did this! It was you!"
>Just go take care of- wait, two minutes?
"..."
>...
"...Ahem. I uh... gonna go take care of this."
>You do that... hee hee-
"NOT A WORD, BOOKHORSE, OR THE MAGICAL POTION REGULATION SOCIETY GETS A TIP!"
>Alright, alright!
>>26989602
AJ's reaction to this.
>>26989515
>Suffer
What, if we change it to mean laugh now too? That's God damn hilarious
>>26989602
Poor spike has no stamina
>>26989664
Well... you know... He's still just a "baby" dragon...also two dicks means double the stimulation... I think. I don't know if that's accepted fa/pa/pple canon though...
>>26989684
>That spoilered term
Well that's not something I was prepared for, funny as hell but holy shit dude.
>>26989684
>>26989710
Best kind of Apple there is!
>>26989093
Non-Canon
>Pinkie recording
"Twi recording"
'Pinkie'
[AJ]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I should be appearing on a console soon! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!!
"So this is why my dreams have been weird..."
>Yeah, I see you're trying to record your dream. My show is non-canon, so you shouldn't even be seeing this, but hi me!
'Hi hi!'
"Who are you talking to?"
>The me who's watching!
'Yeah, you're so silly Twilight!'
>Hi Applejack!
[...]
>'...c'mon don't leave me hanging!'
[...uh hi Pinkie.]
"Applejack's not here."
>Yeah she is! She's watching us too! Anyway, I wanted to remind myself to delete this video later if I ever find it!
'Ooooh yeeeeah!'
Recording Pinkie puts on sunglasses and holds up a device.
'Ah, look away AJ. It probably won't work through the monitor, but why take the chance!'
A bright light flashes.
>You realize, you had better things to do than to record your dreams.
The recording stops.
[...what was that?]
Pinkie deletes the video.
'Don't worry about it AJ!'
She puts on sunglasses and pulls out a device from her hair.
'It's all non-canon.'
A bright light flashes.
>>26990023
... brilliant.
>>26990023
Okay, that was funny as it was silly. A plus.
>>26990023
>NC story about Princess Pinkie, Makes everyone forget about her and what she did for the betterment of all
>NC Pinkie is now actively making others forget certain things in the NC Universe cause they're better off not knowing
...Well now, that seems like a thing, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure its a thing of some kind.
>>26990023
Yeah that's a story to good night on.
>Ms. Colstly
"Robot"
'Letter'
>Right, Threadbare make sure we've got the bargain models properly dusted, Hard Hat you're on Infusion sorting duty, Bridleby you're-going to explain why there are six active security grade Equidroids with a ton of luggage on their backs now staring at me over the counter.
-Uhhh...because- -
>That order was rhetorical.
"SUBMIT IDENTITY."
>Colstly, E., Canterlot Regional Manager. Robot, state your purpose.
"THIS UNIT AS WELL AS THE OTHERS ARE TO ESCORT V.I.P DESIGNATE: BRASS POMMEL THROUGH CANTERLOT CAVERNS TO MEET WITH ENTITIES DESIGNATE: MORLOCKS."
>...so uh, do that?
"THIS UNIT HAS BEEN INSTRUCTED TO DELIVER THIS LETTER TO YOU FROM V.I.P DESIGNATE: PENNYDROP."
>Hmm...
'Dear Colstly,
'I'll be frank, I was expecting a bit more progress in your infestation problem-'
>Huh? Who told her that? We've kept this place as bug free as possible.
'-but there are far bigger opportunities for us beyond dealing with a drunkard ambassador-'
>What's that got to do with an infestation? Huh...
'-under this mountain are a group of primitive cave ponies that regularly dig up precious metals and jewels and-to my knowledge-are forced to deal with horrifying monsters on an almost hourly basis. I, like you most likely, can see the opening here for a bit of the trade they so richly prize, our bots for their goods. To this end I've sponsored this academic from Baltimare to lead an expedition down into the caves, but while he's taking notes on mushrooms, I want you to go with him and drive a hard sell to these ponces on why they need our bots and Infusions. You pull this off and you'll be looking at one hell of a promotion, girl.
'Your Boss,
'Pennydrop.'
>...oh...oh dear...
"THIS UNIT HYPOTHESIZES A DEPARTURE WITHIN THE WEEK. THIS UNIT ADVISES MANAGER COLSTLY PREPARES SUPPLIES IMMEDIATELY. GOOD DAY."
>...m...m...meep. Meeeeep...
-Ms. Colstly?-
>IDUNWANNADIIIIEEEEEE!!!
>>26989684
Still thinking our endgoal for Spike is to get him to Braeburned Spike [Act 1] and occasionaly Braeburned Spike [Act 2]
I think that'd do him some growin or vice versa
Morning, thread
>>26990843
G'night Anon.
>>26990992
Money, or a promotion... learn to delegate girl.
>>26992219
There is no chance you would find any way she would find anybody who would take that job.
>>26991204
What now
>>26992668
I was just about to ask the same thing.
>>26992668
>>26992675
I know right? All I can picture is Spike switching to a different Applebutt.Everyone is gay for Braeburn
>>26991204
>>26992668
>>26992675
>>26992688
https://derpibooru.org/943312
You mean this one?
I don't like the huge head-scales
>>26992712
I like the idea of an older Spike, it's pretty much who I pictured him back in his 'main' days, except without the obvious growth spurt.
So for the most part, I just picture him as mentally older in some scenarios as growing him would introduce a shonen-tier time-skip element for everyone that I don't think we're ready to deal with just yet.
>>26992731
I.E Pull a Dragon quest 2? An actual Dragon quest without thh guns and cold steele and crap we did the first time around?
I'm down bro.
>>26992731
Well that is good but also have the obvious problems of shaking things up for everybody, and doing this for just one character would be pretty pointless. That said, maybe the show will go something to work with with the upcoming episode.
>>26992748
>cold steele
He wasn't that bad, he was more... mentally unstable than edgy. I think he's better now. Healed from his issues for the most part.
>Spike
“???”
~~~~
>…You know I could shoot you for this right? Like, legally. I could legally shoot you point blank and no one’d question a thing.
“You could, yeah. I can’t imagine that would hurt worse than getting about ten knives lodged in me so hey, whatever’s clever, Spoke.”
>Spike.
“Shit, really? My bad- I wasn’t even trying to be funny, it’s just… we never really talk much, ya know?”
>You don’t remember my name but I remember yours just fine, Jobling.
“...You remember a teasing nickname, points. What’s my number?”
>…
“…”
>…
“Funnily enough, if you started counting the seconds it’s taking you to struggle to remember, you'd reach it fairly quick-”
>ANYWAY! Main issue: what’re you doing with that rifle?
“Well, I’m a bit of a gun fanatic and-”
>Really? Well, why didn’t you say so! It’s your lucky day, Sixteen, because I have the perfect club for you to j-
“Denied. And it’s Twelve, but close. I just… I know I should’ve asked before I borrowed it, it's just I’ve never seen a rifle like this before and then… It’s a pretty interesting weapon….”
>It wasn’t so interesting when it licked that first shot.
“…Yeah. Yeah, I bet. But that can hold true for all weapons, right? Neutral until unlawful hooves pull the trigger, like with Clarity there.”
>…
1/2
>>26993366
“…I fucked that all up, didn’t I?”
>Just a titch, by one letter. Charity.
“Noted. But… here. It needs to go back home now. Sorry for hoarding it like that.”
>Heh, it’s been returned, no worries. Besides, I know a thing or two about hoarding. …And you're sure you don’t wanna consider joining the G-
“Beyond sure. Never been so sure about anything in my life. Except that I need to seriously reconsider my taste in hooves….”
>What was that?
“Said I need to get on my way, dude.”
>Oh. Alright, well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me, Twelve.
And as Spike sauntered off, rifle strapped to his back, Twelve watched him go with listless eyes, his muzzle a straight, tight line.
“Actually… you might be coming to find -me- soon enough, Spike….”
Because honestly, Twelve didn’t have the slightest interest for guns, or even weaponry in general, but the lie had worked, just as she said it would.
“Guess I better get back before Dr. Hardlove impales her with a scalpel or something.”
>>26993340
Yeah guess I'll actually have to watch that one.
>>26993352
I wish I could have fused more comedy into his 'mentally fucked up' era, made him less... I hate the word edgy nowadays but for the life of me I can't think of another word... Made him less... Something.
>>26993485
Emotionally damaged?
>>26993386
...Well, Spike was... oddly forgiving there...
>>26993587
Foolish Spoke, his show of mercy will be his undoing...
>>26993366
>>26993610
Stahp plz, I'm gonna be calling him Spoke for days now.
>Twilight Recording
"Spike Recording"
~~~~~
>Spike, is it green yet? It has to be green and thick or you can't drink it.
"That is the worst thing you have ever asked me. The WORST thing. I feel terrible for existing in the same space-time continuum of those words."
>Well, it's not like I'd drink it.
"...second worst thing."
>Just tell me if it's green!
"She asks, not realizing I am a dragon of lies right now."
>Oh for the love of... it's green! Spike, I need you to-
"I consider this child abuse."
>Ohhh, so you admit you're a child?
"...Damn. That's why you're purplesmart, I guess."
>Drink up.
"Ugggghhhh..."
>Well?
"...It tastes like orange juice, lemonade and sugar all had a baby."
>So, bad?
"..."
*Sip*
"It's awful, but I weirdly can't stop drinking it."
>Success!
"Making us hate something but keep consuming it anyway... you ever think about going into reality shows?"
>Considered it, but then I realized Rarity would want in, and that's just a mess.
"Nice to see your friends keep you grounded..."
*Sip*
"Why can't I stop!?"
>Well, you probably should, I still haven't ruled out the cancer.
"..."
*Sip*
"I am a weak dragon."
>Twilight Recording
"SA Recording"
'AJ'
(Pinkie)
~~~~
>Bubble bath!
"Do do do doooo~!"
>Bubble bath!
"Da da da daaaaa!"
>Bubble bath! With my BBBF EFFFF!
"Bubblebath."
'WHY DID SHE RECORD THIS!?'
(That song is going to be stuck in my head all day, I swear. All day. Just non stop.)
'...'
(Bubble bath.)
'That's what ya' take away from this.'
(Well, what else would I take away from this?)
'She's takin' a dang bath with her brother!'
(So?)
'...'
(...Bubble bath. Wow, is this what it's like to be everyone but me? This is awful!)
>>26993662
12, what have you done... You've diminished Spoke, I mean, Spike, even more...
Little did they know, Spoke was Spike's nickname for the 'emotionally unstable' era. We don't speak about Spoke so much.
>>26993827
>'She's takin' a dang bath with her brother!'
AJ, come on, you grew up on a poorfag farm, quit lying
>>26993899
I'm pretty sure they're adults at this point. Twilight is the only one that can join in on shiny time... I think.
>>26993970
>Twilight is the only one that can join in on shiny time... I think.
Confirmed.
He doesn't even let Cadence in on Shiny time.
Although admittedly they mostly play pirate.
>Twilight Recording
"Spike Recording"
'AJ'
(Pinkie)
~~~
>GET SOME!
BLAM!
CHK-KK!
"WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!?"
>I don't know! There was some sort of weird magical fluctuation, it let all my experiments out!
"Is it related to Shining?"
>I don't know, why?
"Because you spontaneously said "Go Shiny go!" before you messed this up!"
>I DON'T KNOW OKAY!?
"Why is the sky outside all funny colored!?"
>WHAT IS GOING ON!?
'...'
(....You think she ever found out?)
'AH' never found out. What caused all of that funny sky business forever ago?'
(... Er, no idea.)
'...'
(You don't want to know.)
'...Retracted.'
>>26994187
...HOLY SHIT.
I remember that! That was her reaction when Shiny finally had sex with Cadence a hundred threads ago!
>Twilight Recording
"Rarity Recording"
~~~
>TRY LIVING DRESSES, YOU SAID! IT'LL BE GREAT, YOU SAID! IT'S FOR THE GOOD OF EQUESTRIA, YOU SAID!
"Actually, Darling, you said all of that, I said it would put me out of business if you made self-repairing self-updating clothing.'
>WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID IT LOUDER!
>All these great stories
>>26989438
Best Idea EVER!
>Twi Rec
"Fluttershy Rec"
'AJ'
(Pinkie)
~~~
"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!"
>Now, don't worry, we're just going to VERY GENTLY saw her out of the jack in the box, nobody will ever know.
"Oh deeear!"
>Nobody has to know, especially not Applejack!
"If she ever finds out my chaos jack in the box ate Applebloom, she'll kill me! I don't care how magical I am right now, she'll find a way!"
>Nobody has to know! I just have to be very, VERY careful with this saw, aannnnddd...
'Ah' can't believe them! How could they do that ta' mah sister!'
(How did you not notice?)
'Must'a happened when Ah' had mah' back turned, Ah' normally watch her a lot closer. Like a hawk. A big old apple lovin' hawk.'
(Yeah, I guess that's true... so when do you think this happened?)
'Could'a been anytime, realy.'
(...)
'Apple, lovin', hawk.'
>Twi Recording
"???"
'AJ'
(Pinkie)
~~~
>Alright, and just one more drop and this mixture should be stable...
"HIYA TWILIGHT!"
>GAH!
BOOOOM!
>OH NO! The mixture is becoming unstable, it'll kill us all!
"Sooo... you don't want to go to my "Gummies three quarters birthday" party?"
>PINKIE!
"Awww... oh wow, is that going to-"
BOO
The feed cut to static, and it was over.
'...What happened next?'
(You know, I don't even remember that happening. Weird, huh?)
'...'
(Oh, you think this has something to do with why I taste copper every now and again?)
'...'
(It's probably unrelated.)
>>26994830
>pinkie spontaneously erupts in bloody coughing fits ala Izumi
>Fuzzy
"Buzz"
{Various}
~~~
>Annnnd, COMING AT YOU LIVE, IT'S FUZZY AND THE BUZZ!
~Fuzzy and the Buzz in the Morning, 97.1!~
~Ring ring ring ring, bananaphone!~
"And top story to-DAY is exactly that! We're taking our calls, and we want to hear exactly what you have to say about recent events!"
>Due to the shocking turnabout in time square, we want to hear from the everyday folks, what do you think?
"And, to clarify, we're talking about the altercation with Chitania, Sunset Shimmer and the princesses, not Buzz getting wine splashed in his face for asking how much she cost."
>OHHHHH!
~You can't afford me, honey!~
"First caller! What do you think about this, is it a sign of something dangerous, or simple misunderstanding?'
{Hey, hey am I on?}
>You're on, my pony!
{Okay, I just want to take this time to say something about changelings.}
"Me, specifically? Because I am not representative of the species."
>Or, 'what Buzz has to legally say thirty seconds into every date.'
"OHHHH!"
~I'm special!~
{Can I just say, who the f-}
~LOUDNOISES!~
{-k do these guys think they are? What, you think you're big because you can shapeshift and s-}
~PBBT!~
{-t? You're not!}
"Ladies, do not listen to him."
>Seriously, don't listen, that's all he has.
"OHHHHH!"
~I also have a coupon for free sandwiches!~
{So you can technically turn into me, but bigger in totally unimportant areas, who gives a flying f-}
~Luuucy!~
{K!? It's not that cool!}
>At least it's better than me.
"Hey, you can do a spot on impression of a drunken racist uncle after ten shots."
>OHHHHH!
~Ish' a magic trick! Wash it all go!~
>Friad that's all the time we have for today!
{Hey, I wasn't done-}
CLICK!
"Oh wow, someone wanted to stay on the phone with us!?"
>That's a twist!
>"OHHHHHH!"
~I have to go iron my... hat.~
>We'll pick up calls tomorrow, but for now enjoy the comedy styling of Cheeses new single "Everybody Ponka, Mahn!'
"And we swear that's PG."
>GOODNIGHT!
>>26995182
Pro
Fucking.
Fessional.
>>26995249
Hey, you gotta deal with those types on the radio.
Even though they haven't actually invented the radio...
F&B are ahead of their time.
>>26995169
>She's been plaing it off as random giggles for months.
PINKIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO! GET HELP!
>>26995182
If I had a good enough mic, I'd look for the other voice friend and do this.
>>26995537
They built a radio station, also I thought Manehatten had them in canon
If they don't, we can say they found the tech in Twilight's lab, she's got the simulation cube, she can get a fucking radio
>>26995697
People always say I've got a face AND a voice for radio
But my mic is a headset
>>26995751
Same. All I have is a GH mic at the moment, so I'm saving for at least something semi-peofessional.
>AJ
"Pinkie"
~~~~
>Okay, this is just, like, eight different folders full of us in dresses. Not sexual dresses or anything, but dresses. Whole lotta dresses... why does she have this?
"It wouldn't be so weird, but I have never wore this dress. Or this one. or this one. Or this one. Oooorr... no wait, I wore that one that one time, but that was alone in my room so how she got this picture is still worrying to me."
>This one ain't even a dress, it's a potato sack. That's worryin' for a whole buncha reasons.
"Should... should we confront her on this?"
>What do we say?
"Why do we have dresses in your computer?"
>Well, what if she asks why we were going through her computer files?
"...Check and mate, and we haven't even played the game."
>Twi's good at this.
"Should I randomly hit buttons until we get to a new one?"
>...Couple more.
"Yeah, couple more, that'll be fine."
>We're not gonna go overboard with this.
"Totally!"
>...that one's nice.
"It is! Next one..."
>>26995993
>they start going through the files from the time they played OnO together
>>26996010
What would that find?
>>26996123
I think they mean pennydrop but Twilight couldn't find a trace of her so evidence laying around wouldn't make sense.
>Chitania
"Sunset"
'13'
~SN~
(???)
~~~~
She almost felt like smiling.
The thought would have floored most, likely even any at that very table, had she ever vocalized it, but the grand destroyer of Canterlot, the best of nightmares the world over, the Titan Changeling, almost felt like smiling.
And it had absolutely nothing to do with the current conversation.
"So then, I swear to god, they had these tiny little screens that could show anything!"
'Swear to who?'
"Oh, right. Swear to Faust. Old habits. Point is, tiny little boxes that could call you up everywhere!"
~I thought you said this here place didn't have no magic?~
"They did it all completely... sans.. magic."
'...Wow.'
~What whaaaaat!?~
It was something else besides their wonder that made the corner of her mouth tingle, something deep inside of her that she had not felt in an age before she knew just how long a changeling could last in the depths of ice. Something different was making her feel this way.
Perhaps, at least a part of it, was learning all of the strange things from this world that the pony spoke of. She fancied the wonders of the future, of all the things magic or otherwise that it could bring. To learn that even now, in this time she had awakened and all of the strange and fantastical advances that had been made as she slumbered, even now was so far behind on what was truly possible stirred something. She was interested, if nothing else, in that.
But even so, it seemed lacking for the reason.
'You know, I really wish we'd had those- what did you call them? The moving stairs thing.'
"Escalators."
'Right, wish we'd had those like, five years ago. You know me and like fifty other ponies got stuck at the top of a high rise because this one pony with a wheelchair couldn't go down? The ponies manning the lift went on strike after we got to the top, and he was just stuck there.'
"Why didn't some of them just pick him up?"
1/2
>>26996413
'It's Manehatten, the town of assholes. Literally, I heard they once actually told a princess they would've give up a cab.'
~Now that reminds me of home!~
Maybe it was hearing things like this, that she had been missing. Glimpses, even briefly, into the life she'd lost with the only changeling in the world she truly cared to know about. Little pieces her daughter let slip out one by one as the time went on. Little pieces that she cherished, every time.
But even that, as great as it was, didn't quite fit for the reason.
~I'm serious! This one time, biiiig old rich pony comes down by the docks, and he's lookin' for some fun, but then when Slippy goes up to him and lays out the prices-and I swear to Faust, hoof on my heart this is true- somebody literally runs up and rips a wheel off his cart. Just the one wheel! Didn't even try to rob the guy or nothing, he just wanted a wheel to make the guy limp back home, I'm guessing!~
"The sad part is? I totally believe that."
'The sadder part? I would have done it too, just to screw with him. Rich ponies tick me off.'
~Oh behave, sugar bean!~
No, there was something else. Something special she couldn't quite put together, something that tickled a part of her brain that had lied dormant for a very, very long time.
Something that felt...
"Hey, who's picking up the tab for this?"
~Chitty.~
'Mom.'
"Pffftahahaha. Whelp, I am enjoying the mega sized sauteed mushrooms, then!"
'Go ahead, she doesn't care.'
That felt familiar.
It was coming, and she couldn't, nor would she try, to stop it.
She felt like she was going to smile.
>Heh, I suppose-
(YOOOOUUUU!)
>...
"..."
'...'
~...Gonna have to be more specific, sugar bean.~
Perhaps, to the white alicorn and perhaps to her rainbow maned companion as well, her pointing harder did indeed mean that.
(I shall have words with you, you ghastly little thing!)
To Chitania, it only meant one thing.
>...This is the reason why I'm going to fucking kill you some day.
>>26996420
Am I supposed to hate Rarara here, cause I do.
>>26996123
exactly what happened to shiny and crew
>>26996420
>...This is the reason why I'm going to fucking kill you some day.
Faust brought the wrath of the Titan upon herself, she just wanted to help her race, and what did that get her?
How long until Rarity just does everyone a favour and offed herself?
Hell, why not have the entire Mane 6 removed? What have they contributed to the thread? We got plenty of characters who are more interesting than them
>>26996491
Faust
>a plaything that she will one day watch die
Chitty
>suffering and failure that piles on more for every fight she wins/step in the right direction she takes.
>>26996526
You're late, thread has been up a few days.
>>26996526
Applejack is our main character, also she's already killed herself several times
Fluttershy is literally containing chaos inside of herself, if she dies the world goes bye bye
Dash is the head of the wonderbolts and an endless source of the best kind of drama
Twilight is a driving force of technological advancement in the world
Pinkie Pie has her NC stuff, don't fuck with that stuff
Rarity could die, I guess
>>26996559
>Applejack
>"""""""""""""""""""character""""""""""""""""""
>Fluttershy
Have Discord eat it, or any ling can be made to fill her role
>Dash
Causes more harm than good, have a speedy Ling fill her role
>Twilight
We already got Pennydrop, Gwen, DT and Screwloose for our tech boners and all of them are way more interesting than Purple Smart
>Ponk
>Implying NC matters
>Rarity
>Literally no-one
>>26996420
NC
>Faust
"Craig"
~~~
>I didn't do it!
"I didn't say anything."
>Didn't do it! Had nothing to do with any of this!
"..."
>SHUT UP!
>>26996590
ah, you're just a sad man then, K
>>26996526
>>26996590
Why would we even consider that? Huh? How about you sit down and be quiet, you're embarrassing yourself and making us hate you. I hate you, just after one post but someone else might still be willing to give you a chance. I'm all for OC involvement, I love our characters, but you are just being straight up dumb. I hate you.
>>26996721
He's just shitposting man, come on. You're really bugged by that?
Just ignore him like we've been doing forever.
>>26996721
>>26996740
Agreed, but what I want to know is... why is he still here after so long?
>>26996780Hoping it can get betterDon't have the hours or energy to write, just lurk and work, lurk and work
>>26996459
Why? She's only after Sunset in that. She doesn't even care about Chitty.
>>26996808
>lurk and work
Even if you did just go on a rant just then, I understand wholeheartedly the need to vent, coupled with wanting to write but being unable to do so.
>>26995993
>They get to her porn collection
>It's weirdly enough, just pictures of microscopes
>They never put it together
>Applejack
"Pinkie"
'???'
~~
>Ah' feel like we should be doing something.
"Yeah, it's weird, right? It's just a bunch of random videos, but I can't stop watching it."
>It's mesmerizing... but we're stronger than this!
"Yeah! We can break this hold! We just gotta have will power."
>And sugar cube, we got that in spades.
"We're done!"
'Oh! Oh! Twilight, look, Opal is doing something funny!'
>...After this one we're done.
"Yeah, after this one."
>...hee hee, she's gotta piano.
>>26997811
>Oh! You know what we should do!? We should follow Winona and watch her, she does silly stuff all the time!
"YES! That sounds like an amazing idea!"
>Wait... where is she?
"..."
>...Huh, maybe Ah' should-OH DANG RIGHT! We're doin' stuff!
"Oh right! PHEW! Glad you caught us, we might've gone off and done something else!"
>Who knows where that would've lead.
"Good catch, Applejack, good catch."
>...One more video.
"Just one!"
>Yeah, just one.
>>26998031
She knows about the sword thing, right?
>>26998322
AJ? Yes. She does. In fact, it first appeared in a story with her.
>>26998659
She smartly decided not to question it.
...although a link to said story would be nice, if possible.
>>26998675
Here you are. https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/#24461665
>>26998826
So that is where AB got her lack of fucks to give.
>>26999158
No, she had her bright-eyed optimism eventually whittled down, stripped away piece by piece until all the wonders of the universe just cease to amaze her anymore.
It wasn't legislation that stole her smile, it was her life.
Goodnight, thread
>88
>Steeeep right up! Step right up, the 88 Detective Agency is open for business! Need a mystery that needs solving? A runaway kid that needs finding? A murderer most foul lurking about that needs aprehending? I'm your girl!
"..."
>Ok, yeah, nobody actually seems to die around here, frankly ponies may in fact be immortal for all I actually know about biology, but let's not dwell on that!
"...so do you just like...read ponies minds until you figure it out?"
>No.
"Oh...why not?"
>Because that's cheating, that wouldn't make me a detective, it'd make me a freaky bug people hire to mind probe their enemies. Bad PR.
"You could be a psychic detective."
>That's lame.
"Is not."
>Soooo lame. Like the only half decent one of those was the guy who pretended to be psychic but was actually just super good at being a detective and even then those stories got cringey towards the-oh he walked off. Welllll screw you too buddy.
"I'm right here, I bent down to get a bit I dropped."
>...Say something, me? Nooo, you just heard the wind.
"You clearly said you'd screw me."
'You said you'd screw him?'
>NO OFFICER! I INSULTED HIM!
'Oh, carry on then.'
"So you did insult me."
>Yes, congrats on figuring that out.
"So like...I left a pretty expensive and rare thing at my ex's house. How much for you to sneak in and get it?"
>...it's not a creepy sex thing is it?
"No...wellllll..."
>Oh Love it's a creepy sex thing.
"I mean Mistress Mare-Velous is kinda hot in this issue-"
>Nerdy creepy sex thing.
"Fifty bits if you get it."
>And positive word of mouth?
"Sure."
>SOLD!
>>26999962
Night, anon.
>>26992712
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
Applejack sits next to a cozy fireplace.
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah'm helping folks out...specifically Rarity.
"How come you don't invite others?"
>As mah roommate, Ah' believe Ah've known you long enough that you deserve special privileges, such as my fireside show.
"...Pinkie already grabbed the other didn't she?"
>...yeah she did...anyway do you have any problems that you need help solving?
"Why yes...we're completely out of toilet paper."
>Sheesh, Ah' guess Ah' went overboard with Castle maintenance budget cuts.
"Oh no, the toilet paper factory burned down in Canterlot, so there's a toilet paper shortage going on. We need to import from another city if we want toilet paper in the castle."
>Great...that's going to run us up a good amount.
"Actually, I can get it at a good price in Baltimare despite the shortage. It's the shipping and handling that's going to be the expensive part."
>...could we buy it and get somepony to pick it up?
"...yes, but who's going to-"
>Great, Ah'll just have Blueblood pick it up.
"Surely, you can't be serious."
>Ah' am serious and don't call me Shirley. We're short on staff and making him get toilet paper would make him a hero for us all...unless you want to go all the way to Baltimare and willing to get the toilet paper yourself.
"...Blueblood it is."
>Atta girl. Another problem solved.
>>27001622
>"...Blueblood it is."
>dat song callback
>"streamers it is"
Made me smile.
>>27000294
Baby steps, 88. Baby steps.
>>27001622
Damn, that's chill.
>>27001622
If this weren't NC it'd be road trip time for Bluey and Arana.
>Twilight Recording
“Spike”
‘AJ’
(Pinkie)
~~~
>Alright, this laser sight should make Charity a lot, lot more accurate! Thanks to working late, and several hundred hours of research, and maybe a little more caffeine than is technically healthy or maybe legal, we have created a sight that is accurate to one, one hundred thousandth of a centimeter! This thing could totally lock on to a single flight feather on a bird, and that is neither an exaggeration nor technically legal in any country! At last, it’s all done, and Charity will be one hundred percent accurate every shot!
“…”
>…You, uh… you didn’t woo hoo. Where is the woo hoo?
“Um… won’t they like, be able to see that I’m going to shoot them? Isn’t a bright red dot kind of a give away where I’m aiming, and make it much easier to dodge or give away where I’m aiming before I actually have a bead on them?”
>…Ah. I did not think of that.
“…”
>…Can I see Charity for a second?
“I can take it off if you want.”
>Oh no, it’s not that.
“…You know, I think it’s fine. Isn’t it fine? It looks nice-“
>Gimme the gun.
“No Twi no!”
>GIMME THE GUN!
‘So, how do ya’ think this ends?’
(Well, she is Celestia’s student, sooo…)
BLAM!
(There it is!)
>>27002526
She learns from the best...
OOCO
>SA
“Chrysalis”
‘Cadence’
~Celestia~
(18)
=Spitfire=
{42}
~~
>I hate this.
“WOOO, BABY!”
>I hate this so much.
‘Ohhh, it’s so sweet!’
>This is the worst.
~MmmmmMH! They know how to shoot them nowadays!~
>Times like these make me curse the fact I’m mortal, because it only taunts me with the sweet release of death.
(Ooooo~ la la~ Going with the red filter for that shot? You don’t have to be fancy, cameramare.)
>She knew it. I don’t know how she knew it, but Chrysalis knew what was in this movie, and she wishes me pain. Nothing but pain.
=Daaaamn, isn’t she married to the director too? What I would not give to be a fly on the wall.=
>I have one comfort… and that it is I am not alone.
{Blaghhh…}
“YEAH! Give it to her! Give it- awww, it’s over.”
~You know these scenes don’t last very long.~
‘Awww, I liked that! It was very moving for their characters.’
(Well paced too.)
=And HOT!=
‘So crass… Forty Two? Sweetie? Are you okay? The sex scene is over, you can stop now.’
{…}
POP!
>YOU DID THIS TO MY PUNCHBUG.
“I didn’t know it had a sex scene! It’s an action movie!”
>…
“I mean, I didn’t mind it, but-ow!“
>BAD QUEEN BUG!
“…This is because you had to watch it with all of us in the room, isn’t-OW!’
>BAD!
>>27003204
>They hurt his punchbug
>they will know pain.
>Twilight Recording
“Pinkie”
‘AJ’
~~~
>After some experimentation, I think I finally understand how Pinkie’s party canon can be fired so many times without reloading! I’m a little sleepy, but when I wake up I’ll be sure to-
~DELETED!~
“Hoof slipped!”
‘PINKIE!... Wait, how did ya’ even do that?’
“Shhhhh, shhh shhh, AJ… do not question the Pinkie.”
‘…’
“Or her stuff… because she will delete you.”
‘Ya’ mean the files?’
“…”
‘…Point taken.’
>>27003601
She knows what she means, AJ
Take the hint.
>>27003204
Oh, come on Shiny, is it really anywhere near as bad as the time everyone watched your sex tape?
>42
“Changelings”
~~~
>…Should I even question this?
“Wait, why aren’t you questioning this?”
“I’d question this, and I literally just walked by when I saw someone on fire! I just walked by, I didn’t even question it, just kept going! And even I would be like “What the fuck is going on here?” if I saw this!”
“I’m holding a chicken! Look at this, look at what I’m doing right now! It’s a chicken!”
“That’s a rooster.”
“I don’t even know what’s real anymore!”
“Just please, get me off this unicycle! My legs hurt so much!”
“Why don’t you just fly?”
“…How do I keep forgetting I have those!?”
“Listen, the Queen has-“
>Hold it.
“…”
>This was all ordered by Chrysalis?
“Well, yes, but-“
>Say no more.
Without another word, she turned around and walked away.
“…Huh.”
“It’s pecking me in the eeeeeyyyyyyeeeee!”
>>27004365
Now, see, she learned from the best.
Just keep smiling.
>>27003815
I keep forgetting that happened.
And was Hillarious.
>>27000294
>First detective gig
>It's burglary
Of course.
