PREVIOUSLY ON THE CRIMES AGAINST NATURE PROGRAM
>>26746420
>What is this thread about?
Half human and half pony/other Equestrian species offspring.
>What are the rules?
There are no thread specific rules, do what you want.
>What is the continuity (world/characters/attributes)?
Whatever you want it to be. Everything is a variable, there are no absolutes. Characters, names, genders, personalities, relationships, backgrounds, writing style, genre. If you want to know the common headcanons of certain characters, read some stories or ask the thread.
Searchable Archive:
http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/search/?tags=satyr
Story by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/qFf46ep5
Author List:
http://pastebin.com/RFgtrECq
Satyrs by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/uBqbm6eq
Dropbox
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/d94jlx7pgl5gg34/AABM4w-okI70GyrbCsVNee9Ga?dl=0
Need some proofing done? Or want to throw ideas around?
Add one of the Skypes below!
[NEEDS UPDATING]
Would you flirt with adult satyrs?
Let's say you meet a satyr of your choice at a bar. What would you do?
>>26788977
Sounds good. Murdering Mainly Mules, that is.
>>26789064
Probably stare at them from across the room, not bother going over because they're out of my league (we don't tend to create fatties or ugly ones), then go home and masturbate to the thought of them.
>>26789153
Realistically, probably this.
Even more realistically, I would never have bothered to go to a bar in the first place.
>>26789374
I wonder how often people tell him his girlfriend is a cow.
>>26790062
Such an insult would beudderlyridiculous.
Just reposting since it was late last night
>>26790087
You based her around the model who looks like real life Chun li, didnt you
>>26790205
Yes, actually, cool of you to notice.
>>26790062
I wonder if anyone ever tells himDon't have a cow man
>>26790413
Pogo tells him that at least once whenever they're drinking
>>26790062
>>26790069
>>26790413
>>26790424
Making puns without a licence is a very serious offence in Equestria
Also, I was just browsing DJ's Deviant Art gallery in search of the pictures of his that are missing from Derpibooru, and I've made the shocking discovery that he may very well bea filthy elf lover.
>>26789153
What if they approach you because they have a thing for humans?
>>26790917
"I'm not a fetish or a piece of meat just here to satisfy your perverse desires, silly satyr. I will however make that horse pussy of yours vibrate from pleasure until you pass out from a lack of oxygen to the brain."
>"Uh... That's, um... nice, but I was just coming to talk to you to ask where you buy your clothes. It's hard finding stuff that'll fit a human torso."
"Baby, I don't know what you just said or what you're suggesting, but so long as it ends with me between those thighs of yours then I'm in."
I just made myself think. Given that not all satyrs would have access to a tailor like Rarity to make custom clothes for them, and seeing as the relatively small number of satyrs and humans would likely not warrant mass production of garments designed for them, how much of a satyr's wardrobe would consist of hand-me-downs?
>>26790587
>DJ
>a filthy elf lover
I'm sure I'll catch a lot of flak for this, but I don't understand the lore of warhammer. Never played any of the games nor do I plan to.
What satyr would be the best fit as the Easter Bunny?
>>26791671
I always have stood by Ivy... Cause Angel.
>>26791671
Are we talking lewd or cute Easter Bunny?
>>26791799Either or. I'm not sure yet. If you want lewd, I'll draw lewd, but be warned: I also feel like playing vidya, so be quick, since I am quick to switch goals when drunk.
>>26791671
I second what
>>26791726
said, although part of me also wants to say Yuzu because it sounds like it would look so weird to see her dressed as a bunny.
>>26791043
>Asha has little need of new clothes that often
>She walks around completely naked most of the time when she's home, only putting something on if there are visitors or she's going to town
>>26792892
H-hawt
>>26791043
Simmer and Broil pretty much only wore plain shirts on the dragon islands since, you know, dragons don't wear anything. They only gained a fashion sense after they moved to Equestria.
>>26791043
>seeing as the relatively small number of satyrs and humans would likely not warrant mass production of garments designed for them, how much of a satyr's wardrobe would consist of hand-me-downs
Considering that most of Equestria's population are ponies and other creatures that almost always go naked, satyrs would probably attract more attention simply for being satyrs than for going naked.
In any case, female satyrs would only really need something to cover their boobs, since like for ponies their tails would cover their pussy (at least most of the time), except when they're outside in cold weather.
>>26793329
But Satyrs would have their genitals showing, they're not bent over like ponies, so their tails can't cover them
>>26793480
It would, because unlike on humans, horse pussy is all the way in he back. It wouldn't be visible from the front.
Like if a mare stood on her hind legs - you still wouldn't be able to see her pussy from the front.
>>26793480
>not walking around with your dick hanging out like 'sup'
Lose the pants, get the babes.
>>26793572
Male satyrs would have their cocks sheathed most of the time, so it wouldn't really show much unless they got very aroused.
>>26793601
Drakes have genital slits, so it's be easier to go bottomless.
>>26793601
Ultimately I thought that the human parents would at least clothe them like humans.
Plus I always thought that Satyr genitals are placed like Humans.
>>26793680
Yup.
>>26793572
That explains Timber's harem:^)
>>26793572
If I were able to draw, I'd do something like that. Complete with a comically-sized black censor bar.
>>26792892
... Gonna guess her dad is away on business a lot
>>26789374
>You don’t even care about the movie, it’s just a cheesy romantic comedy she wanted to see.
>Too bad she decided to sleep since the first thirty minutes.
>But just being able to be there with her makes this one of the best days you’ve had since quite a while.
same thing as yesterday, ideas for my commute and I'll post later
>>26795335
Y'know; we sexualize women too mich in this thread... And feminine boys. We need more sexualization of masculine figures! You all want to put a Flutterkid in a "sexy", revealing bunny outfit? Put Timber in it! See how HE likes it!Plus, I just really wanna see him in a "bunny" outfit.
>>26795335
A cutie Sapphire and Precious(Sassy Saddles' satyr), please
>>26795335
>>26795335
Pogo dressed up likes a Jester
Anon in a cuddle puddle with his family.
>>26795380
>suddenly boys start getting drawn in the style of JJBA
2kek
>>26791043
>"Baby, I don't know what you just said or what you're suggesting, but so long as it ends with me between those thighs of yours then I'm in."
kek
>>26795397
The question is which part, because there's a big difference between Jonathan and Johnny.
Someone has the reference of the /emo/ satyr?
i need it for science
>>26795335
Half-pipe being a cutie or a lewdie
>>26795397
Yes yes yes yes
>>26795422
Well going by those fine dubs, they should be Pillar-Satyrs.
>>26795424
This one?
>>26795397
And that's bad? Oversexualized Baras and awesome posing.
>>26795468
Thanks! i will try to draw her, i like the idea of a wrestling fan
also... >>26795335 can you do something with this?
>>26795458
It's the first time i see this one
looks great!
>>26796130
Wha! I remember her! The more changeling than human changetyr!
What's the prevalence of certain satyr species? Are some satyrs more common than others?
>>26796165
Catrine a cute.
>>26793736
Does anyone know what happened to that CYOA Mimic ran? Did he abandon it? Or did he die?
>>26796565
You mean MSoB? He said he's pretty busy with tons of stuff and grew a backlog of things he has to finish.Another satyr CYOA that bit the dust
>>26793736
I really like his Lyra, she's so cute.
>>26789374
Which satyrs have the most difficulties with relationships?
Is Mimic still around ever, or have we lost him back to the depths of teeg from whence he came?
>>26796631
Pretty sure MSOB is a grill
>>26797391
Didn't he stop coming here after someone else tried to colour one of his drawings?
>>26798798
That seems a little petty. I mean I'd understand if whoever it was that coloured it had done so while claiming to be Mimic, but otherwise I think I'd personally find it quite flattering that somebody had liked one of my pictures enough to spend time on it. Though there's always two sides to every story.
>>26796898
Any boy with an older sister who can outclass them growing up.
>Rory
>Sirius
>Lil Mac
>Hotshot
etc.
>>26799061
>Any boy with an older sister who can outclass them growing up.
Wait what
Personal interpretation incoming, but the only one I ever saw as having trouble with relationships would be Siriuswho is basically the Charlie of Satyrs. He gets all the shit duties that no one else wants to do and becomes so good at them they think he wants them. But the royal playboy Radiance gets all the love despite doing jack shit.. Little Mac is the weird fat kid by way of Chucky from Rugrats. Rory bottles up his inferiority complex, and Hotshot is the outgoing one.
I guess I don't see a correlation between having an overachieving older sister and not being able to hold relationships
>>26796599
Is satyr haunted by bad luck?
Every satyr quest so far has bit the dustunless Pyrefly actually holds to his words and returns soon; Stories that aren't one-shots or shorts is a rarity, and art is almost the same.
>>26798012
No.
>>26798012
I wonder how her tail feels like.
>>26800118
You know those fruits and flowers where it LOOKS spiney, but in reality it's actually quite malleable? Kinda like that, but with fur.
Old one I made
>>26800466
Jane Foal
>>26800466
A Normal satyr?
>>26800466
MARY SATYR
>>26800515
>>26800527
>>26800485
I made it last year,but every time I'd post it the thread was almost 404'd or reached Capacity
Satyr fact #812 - Garret has "Kilroy was here" tattooed on his right inner thigh. He woke up one morning after passing out at one of Pogo's parties the night before, only to find his entire leg shaved and the tattoo in question permanently planted under his skin. Though once the fur had grown back you'd never even know he had it, to this day he still doesn't know who Kilroy is and neither does anybody else who went to the party.
>>26800617
Finally got offf early, eh?
>>26800685
yep,only took me 7 months
Do satyrs like getting tickled?
>>26801082
Some do, others hate it cause they don't want to be tickled. Like with human kids.
>>26795335
>Says he'll deliver AFTER his commute
>Never delivered
Guys, I think /d/ was in a car accident. They might be dead. Somebody call 911.
>>26802022
>Approach a women on the street
Have you seen this /d/?
>Recieve a slap across the faceYeah, how about we DON'T go around asking people if they've seen a /d/.
>>26802782
Oh, I've seen some D all right
http://m.imgur.com/CBbrpMH?r
>>26803186
Oh yes
>>26800466
eyyyy
>>26803186
I know traps have a niche following here, but what about herms/futa?
>>26797391
Speaking of, whatever happened to sterks, MT, and that Fiddle and Faddle artfag?
>>26805879
Their home planet needed them and they died on the way back.
>>26802022
Apologies, when I got home, I found out the wifi is down til Friday. Will dump what I have before I leave work.
>>26795380
Starting w this
>>26795393
Wasn't sure which family, made a guess
>>26806235
YES
MORE BIG FAMALAM PICS
>>26806235
Replied to the wrong dude, bruh
>>26806235
This is super adorable. Is this Pinkie's family?
>>26806747
That or Screwloose's
>>26805467
We played around with the idea of futa Darcy hooking up with Ace so they'd make super warrior satyr babies together.
>>26806880
I remember that... That was hot
>>26806213
I expected him to look worse in that... I was wrong
>>26806235
Aww, whose family is this?
>>26806235
is great
>>26807823
Looks like Screwloose's.
>>26809497
Darcy and Utah porn when?
>>26809622
I wonder the same. Why is there no porn of them?
>>26809709
I don't know, it'd make for some great material.
>>26809709
>>26809750
Because Utah's heart belongs to Petunian. Dont taint the Utah
>>26809858
A satyr's heart strings belongs to whoever the puppet master wants them to belong to. They dance according to the jerking fingers that are our art and stories.
>>26800661
Satyr fact #43 - Darcy has a fear of spiders.
>>26810330
Satyr Fact #51: Darcy feels uneasy whenever she sees a satyr has more Equestrian characteristics than wings and isn't comfortable being in their presence for too long.
Were there any discussions or posts mentioning elemental magic in Curwhibbles?
>>26810448
Searching for the word "element" in the archives shows nothing, so I doubt it. Why do you ask?
>>26810633
I wondered what type of spells we could learn and wanted to see if there was any chance we could become a pyromancer.
>>26809622
When you commission it.
>>26810330
Satyr Fact #69 - Utah is ancient Equus for spider.
>>26810420
This was not a fact, but an opinion. You tell one rude zigger to get out of your daddies bar for trying to start shit and suddenly you're a racist and ignorant bitch.
>>26810741
But Anon, zebras aren't satyrs.
>>26810420
Satyr Fact #201: A gryphon's paw padding is rough and desensitized to most feeling. But the furry skin patches between the pads is very sensitive and when massaged can be stimulating to the point of arousal and is often a form of foreplay but only allowed to the most trusted of partners.
>>26810774
Pic didnt post for some reason
>>26810772
I said Zigger.
>>26810837
You're gonna have to explain your definition of zigger to me. I thought it colloquially meant zebra.
>>26810854
Half a zigger is still a zigger.
>>26810718
There were some discussions about magic a couple of times, and if I remember correctly then pyrefly said that there really is no spell we can't learn if given enough time and practice. He's gonna have to confirm that himself, though, because I might remember it wrong.
>>26810881
Are you talking about Asha then?
>>26810897
What?! No! Asha isn't a jack ass who comes in, acts like he owns the place, threatens your daddy's business, then acts like he's the victim when you and your family kick his ass out! Shit. It was some random punk from out of town.
>>26810969
>he
I thought Asha was a delicious brown/black girl?
>>26810983
She is, but the zigger was a boy
>>26810983
We need more of her deliciously wide zebra booty.
>>26809709
>>26809750
Maybe people aren't as interested as you are
How would your satyr react if they were kissed by a friend of the same sex?
>>26812411
Garret would probably be pretty flattered. Guy's fop like a mop.
>>26812411
Muddle would probably push them away and be both angry and confused before compulsively wiping his mouth for days feeling dirty and can't quite get it to feel clean again.
Gargle's heart would race and he would wonder if it was a real kiss and may do it again if he liked the person.
Maverick would punch a fool and wouldn't regret it.
Presto may vomit in reflex and would go to great lengths to make sure it wouldn't happen again.
Warren would be embarrassed about it but would take a more light hearted dismissive approach to it.
If it was on the cheek Pogo would kiss back, and beam with a smile before continuing whatever conversation was had. On the mouth, he would coyly smile and joke "Only my mama and special somep0ny kisses me like that."
I'll do more later
>>26788977
I hope all of you kill yourselves
>>26812693
Nigga, we're discussing the end result of a self-insert fucking all of the cartoon horses in a kid's show.
We're already dead.
>>26813767
Ah, my favorite non-pone satyr. I always envisioned her looking a bit more Latino or Brazillian
>You decide to take your satyr kid to a movie theater
>The theater is showing an Equestrian version of the last movie you watched
Do they enjoy it?
>>26814382
I disown her if she doesn't like it.
>>26814382
>The original Star Wars trilogy
They'd be crazy if they didn't.
>>26814382
I'd be disappointed if they liked it.
>>26814382
>Zootopia
How does that even work
>>26814719
Humans? Shit got dark
>>26814719
>>26814719
Either insects or under the sea
>>26814382
>hfw I can't remember the last time I watched a movie
>>26814382
I don't remember the last movie I saw, so I'm picking tv show. I'm halfway through and it's been fucking awesome the who way through.
>>26814857
Good taste.
>>26812411
Darcy would probably stutter and say she'd be flattered, but her barn door doesn't swing that way.
Hope might...like it if it were one of her friends.
Tonbo would gargle with mouthwash and try kissing with Dynamo to restore her heterosexuality
Mistake would be indifferent since could put on a multitude of faces and personas and the person would never know if she fell in love with the true Mistake or a farce.
https://gyazo.com/aa29eb265cae929d238c642c45463fae
Lesbian sketch
>>26817107
Who are they?
>>26817196
Looks like glimmer and broil
>>26817251
But that tail on Broil looks like a pony's.
>>26817251
It is them.
>>26817455
Just a sketch.
>>26817522
Alright. So it's just a WIP? Either way it's a nice pic of an underrated crack ship,just the tail feels like it doesn't fit.
>>26817671
I will admit to this. Less a WiP, more a simple thing.
>>26817693
Ah okay. Just work on the tail next time, but cuteand lewdpic otherwise.
>>26817716
Not the artist
>>26817755
Just pass it on to them whenever you talk next time, then.
What was the worst case of blue-balls/bean a satyr has ever experienced?
>>26816599
Level 1?
>>26814726
The movie got dark?
>>26814429
you're always forcing oscars on her
>>26814429
Hey, I'll adopt her. I'll be a good daddy to her, better than the piece of shit who disowned her over an over-hyped movie.
You people take things way too seriously.
New drawing from nobby.
>>26821056
>I want gruff voice like mommy
>>26821035
You're grounded. Go to your room until your mother questions why you're in your room.
>>26821056
And another
>>26821056
"You think you're tough? Have a whole CARTON of cigarettes!"
>>26821247
Dawww...
>>26821371
>She smokes them with increasing level of skill
>Due to this skill of sucking an blowing, she eventually starts a gloryhole for stallions
>All because daddy tried to be THAT kind of dad
Congratulations; she's a slut
>>26821470
https://youtu.be/TsQlzJ8sAt4
Nice
>>26821470
That's not how smoking works. Like, at all.
>>26821484
If she smokes, she pokes. Good rule to follow if you go clubbing
>>26821493
So would Alex and Blare go clubbing together?
>>26821504
... Yes!
>>26821504
Do you think smoking would be unhealthy for drake satyrs, or are they immune to the negative effects of smoking due to their drake dna?
>>26821842
>Drakes are immune to cancer
Bullshit
>>26821850
Well, dragons can breathe fire and swim in lava.
They're probably not immune to cancer in general, but they may not be able to get it from smoking.
>>26821842
I'm so happy to see this thread is still alive, it's been such a long time
' just wanted to show some stuff I've done when I were here.WARNING: MAXIMUM AUTISM
>>26822246
New refs?
>>26822246
> refs?
What do you mean?
>>26822300
Wanted to quote:
>>26822262
>>26822300
>>26822314
>>26822320
Sorry for the different presentation of the different files, I kinda messed up with which version I was posting.
>>26821902
This makes so much sense.
It's like everything that's poisonous or foul-tasting to most creatures is harmless or healthy snacks for dragons.
>>26822333
Nice full house. Also, I meant the biology refs that have been posted before.
>>26822596
Except poison... And milk
>>26823180
>Except poison
According to what source?
Spike was munching on Pinkie's rancid muffins in Applebuck Season and seemingly enjoying them with no ill effects, while ponies got sick from eating them.
>>26823241
Well maybe since Dragons can eat gems they're digestive system is stronger than a pony's.
But then the Pies ate rocks, so who the fuck knows.
>>26821842
It is unhealthy for them due to their human dna. However, it is not as unhealthy for them as it is for a normal satyr due to their dragon dna.
If a chainsmoking pony satyr gets cancer in 20 years, then a chainsmoking drake satyr would get cancer in 50 years.
>>26823922
Makes sense.
>>26823334
Only creatures who eat raw minerals are blessed with stomachs of iron. Gargle and the Fiddle/Faddle twins entered an eating competition that had 500 hot dogs. They ate it all...the horror...
>>26823944
>After a lifetime of hard work, I finally have all the hot dogs. Yet I still feel empty inside.
>>26823971
That is because you haven't eaten them yet.
>>26823944
>then they spent the rest of the day in the bathroom, having to use the toilet, the sink and the bath tub in order to be able to go at the same time
>>26824050
I bet their bodies are digest things super efficiently if they eat rocks and gems on a regular basis. Organic material wouldn't leave as much residue as inorganic material. Plus they'd need to absorb all the nutrients for their bodies (Gargle for his higher core temperature, and the twins for their hyperactive reality bending).
>>26824269
>if they eat rocks and gems on a regular basis
Gargle maybe, but not Fiddle and Faddle.
>>26824292
>"Hey, Fiddle, Faddle?" Mumble knocked on the bathroom stall doors. "How're you feeling in there?"
>"Regreeeeeeeets....."
All this talk has me thinking, would Fiddle and Faddle hang out with Gargle? They'd be about the same age, right?
>>26824628
Atleast I'd think so. Wouldn't the CMC satyrs be around this age as well?
>>26824628
>>26824660
>The Triple-Doubles
>The Dongle Dragon
>The Fearsome Foursome
Cheerilee's class must be a nightmare.
>>26824762
I love these titles. More school-time satyrs would be great.
>>26824845
My favorite Cheerilee is the one who simply does not like satyrs and comes up with snide, obscure ways to refer to them.
>>26825115
But Cheerilee has a satyr herself.
>>26825198
Not-So-Secret Pony Supremacist Cheerilee is the only Cheerilee I'm interested in acknowledging for the purposes of this thread.
>>26826243
Leaf a cute. I did a story for her one time using DJ's older pic of her. She looked super comfy.
>>26826326
She is cutest, for the dankest of the dank
>>26821842
Nah, it would still be unhealthy. Poison is poison. But Blare mostly just smokes marijuana from time to time since someone said that she didn't smell all that nice.
>>26827369
>Leaf, Green Peace and Tonsils have decided to start a 'horticulture' club
>Leaf is particularly confused when the other greenery gals seem only interested in growing one type of plant
>>26827412
>Weed
>Not hardcore cigarettes
It's like you don't think she's a criminal punk or something.
>>26827474
Blare dindu nuffin' mang, that ponice officer stopped her for nothing.
>>26827419
>Carrot Top finds out and cries when she asked why she wasn't invited
>Asha finds out and brings pots of exotic plants and flowers with recommended reading books only to find everyone baked out of their minds
>>26827545
Am I the only one who hears Blaire's voice as Marie Kanker's from EEnE?
>Captcha:Garrett Nell
I think I've found a last name for him
>>26827663
I usually hear Blake from RWBY or Makoto from Street Fighter.
>>26827838
>RWBY
That's on my list of shit I've been meaning to watch yet I haven't gotten around to it.Could be that I already know what's happened so far so I don't have a real reason to watch it other than to say I did.
>>26827877
It's entertaining. Fun to watch, a good enough plot line, and recent progressions of character development. Nothing groundbreaking and it has a lot of faults, but I like it enough to marathon it more than once.
Where were your satyrs born if they weren't born in Ponyville, and when did they move there? I always assumed that all of the drakes (with the exception of Thistle) were either born on one of the Isles of Scaly or some rural place in Equestria where there's a lot of outdoor space.
>>26828082
Trottingham
>>26829316
Who's the satyr?
>>26830153
Mama AJ don't mess around
>>26830153
I wonder who the strictest parent would be?
>>26830691
The royal parents. Even though Radiance, Selena, Dawn and Sirius* are children or young adults who are as prone to mood swings and bad days as everybody else, they're also members of the royal family and are expected to behave and present themselves with dignity at all times in a manner that reflects well upon both themselves and the family as a whole, and in a way that serves as an example for their subjects. I imagine they're all quite strongly encouraged by their mothers and hordes of private tutors and servants to act as one would expect of truly noble and refined princes and princesses, for example by not slouching, swearing, appearing inappropriately dressed or being "excessively rambunctious".
I expect their dad** is far more lenient and doesn't object to his children behaving in a more relaxed, informal way when in private, though I can imagine both Celestia and Luna chastising their brood for minor things like speaking with their mouth full and leaning with their elbows on the table even during private family meals. That's not to say that the princesses don't love their children, only that they hold them to a very high standard.
I hate to imagine what either would do if any of their kids got anything less than top marks in any of their classes.
*Who doesn't exist, at least in my own opinion.
**I like the idea of a single Anon being the father of all of them.
>>26831387
Why does nobody like Sirius?
>>26831396
It's not necessarily that I don't like him, it's just that I personally don't know how to portray and characterise him in my stories, and I've never really read anything that featured him as more than a passing reference. That, and that both princesses having two children, a girl and a boy, seems too "symmetrical" if that makes sense. Almost as if he was created just so people that wanted to write about Luna's kid, but didn't want it to be a girl, had a character to latch onto. That could be said about a lot of satyrs though, I know.
I'm sure that sounds like I'm bashing him, and I don't mean it that way, I just can't really think how to explain it differently while riding the mother of all nicotine highs.
>>26826243
What is her full name? Is Leaf an nickname?
>>26831813
Rosa "Leaf" Rosaceae-Fedtschenkoana Ymous McBangin.
>>26831875
>McBangin
>>26831897
First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.
>>26830691
Adventuring parents.
>>26827545
There once was a dindu called Blare
Who bum rushed a guard with a glare
Six spears later she met her creator
It's a good thing there's drakes yet to spare.
>>26831526
I touched on how I saw him here. >>26799672
Despite doing more than his cousin, Radiance gets all the love (even though he is the first to tell you he's a total Shitter)
But that's just me
>>26832083
There once was a princess called Dawn
Who often left others forlorn
But say what they may she ignored all their scorn
And went on to star in some porn.
>>26832137
>Trying to rhyme Dawn with Scorn/forlorn/porn
You what
>>26832137
There once was a satyr called Snapshot
A true trap-lover's idol and mascot
With an ass so fine you had to wait in line
Many too say his jizz smelled of pine.
>>26809858
The way I see Utah and Darcy's relationship is one where when she was 15, he was probably 10. If his parents weren't around, she would be the first one he would ask for advice. Either her or Cider. At times he lacks foresight that either of them or even his brother would point out.
>>26832155
There once was an Anon quite meek
Who dared tell me my rhyme were too weak
So I implied he was gay and most certainly fay
Oh how wished and I cried go "go away"
>>26832210
There once was a farm girl called Darcy
Not to be trusted at the wheel of a car, see?
How her eyes do torment, her sweet Spanish accent
My dick is left begging for mercy.
That one doesn't really work.
>>26832218
Your structure's off.
>>26832387
When told that my structure was off
I did do my best not to scoff
But as you can guess I lacked the finesse
For I have beer here enough yet to quaff.I know, but I can't do any better
>>26788977
Would you trust this satyr to babysit your sweet, innocent daughter given the Adepta Sororitas' reputation when it comes to young girls?
>>26832624
What's that?
>>26832731
40k fanon has them all being loli obsessed pedos with a fire and BDSM fetish. There are dozens of fapfics about it, just look on 1d4chan.
>>26832210
So she's like his second mother figure
>>26832210
>>26832863
>Darcy will never cradle your head in her lap, run her fingers through and mother you while humming softly to send you to sleep.
>You will never be smothered by her breasts as she holds you protectively in her arms.
>>26832938
Does anyone remember that short fic with Pogo and Darcy?
>>26833967
THICK
>>26834000
THICK
MEATY
THIGHS!
>>26834074
WIDE
DRAGON
HIPS
>>26834325
u-unf
Why are we on page 10?
>>26835418
Satyr likes to play on the highway because daddy said it's off limits.
>>26835434
What highway? Ponyville is a rural backwater town.
>>26832863
Sort of I guess.
>>26832938
Not like that.
>>26835705Totally like that, though.
If you had the chance to start /satyr/ all over again, what would you change?
>>26836145
turn down the incest
not kill it, just keep it to the minimum
>>26835631
It was before humans came to Equestria.
>>26836216
Nah, I bet Ponyville would still be pretty trash. "Pretty" trash, but trash nonetheless.
>>26836145
SATYR IS PONY-PURE
NO DRAKE. NO COW. NO PHOENIX.
PONY PONIES.
>>26836199
Like for lewd stories/pics only, right? Cause that'd be nice
>>26836286
Your idea a shit
>>26836286
This. Also, damn, Muddle can be scary sometimes. Is he magic or something?
>>26836299
What's wrong with legit incest relationships in fantasy? It's only a problem if they decide to have a child.
>>26836309
No. It's lava-blooded rage.
>>26836299
HEY SCALEFAG GET OUT OF MY THREAD!
AND TAKE YOUR DUBS WITH YOU!
REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
>>26836309
Muddle's the best of the bunch.
>>26836324
I don't know why Twilight doesn't wig out like that anymore.
>>26836365
I'd say Thistle is the best of the bunch, even though I'm pretty biased myself. Snap's best for adorbs though.
>>26836370
Because she's found more effective intimidation tactics.
And she has better ways of becoming a super sand lesbian.And that transformation came from one of the show's worst episodes.[/spoiler
>>26836286
Knot or no knot? Balls or no balls? Penis or hemipenis?
>>26836775
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>"""Soon"""
>>26836756
>No knot
>No balls
>Single penis
>>26837890
Man, no extra features to play with? Drake penises must be boring to look at then.
...You know, I'm going to pump some fucking life in this thread. Gimme a little time and I'll pull some new satyrs out of my ass.
>Wipeout (Female, Pegasus Mother, Age 13)
AnonxFleetfoot
>Appearance
Slightly under average height, hair kept in loose ponytail. Usually covered in bandages. Has tooth gap, no one knows if it naturally fell out or it got knocked out. Almost perpetual maniacal grin.
>Would You Like To Know More?
Extrovert, will do any challenge no matter how stupid. Crack cocaine-levels of addiction to adrenaline. Has broken more bones than she has in her body. Her room has a mattress taped to the wall for when she enters through the window too fast to stop. Her family has attempted to burn off her energy by taking her white water rafting. The trip was fun, but the problem only got worse.
Only child. The parents have enough trouble with one.
>Zvezda (Male, Griffon Mother, Age 20)
AnonxNatalya (That griffon athlete from Equestria Games.)
>Appearance
Tall, average build. Hair slicked back. Usually seen with grey coat and faded jeans. Sometimes wears glasses.
>Would You Like To Know More?
Fine socially, but prefers solitude. Currently works in a grocery warehouse. His mother wanted him to get a better job; they still have disagreements over that. Hobbies include astronomy and celestial navigation (Even though he's probably never going to leave town.) Always looking towards the sky, even when flying.
Three younger siblings, Chayka (Female, Age 9), Ohotnik (Male, Age 11), Troika (Male, Age 15).
Good night /satyr/, I'll be back tomorrow.
>>26837963
Depends who you ask. Some have them be hemis, some have them as pocket rockets, and some just have them with plain human dong.
>>26838007
I actually had an idea of creating a satyr for Natalya for some time. I named her Noelle and gave her a sweater since she preferred the cooler climate of her home in Griffonstone. Her mother is quite strict about her behavior and sees fit to groom her for flying in order to represent their homeland in the Equestria Games. She's done so twice so far and placed third and second in both years. Mostly quiet and soft-spoken, she'd typically retreat to her music and write fairy tales as a form of expression. Anon knows that she likes to read and that his wife can be overbearing at times, so he bought her the the collected stories of Hans Christian Anderson for her birthday. She's memorized a quarter of the stories so far. Though she's a great flyer, she doesn't really feel the urge to fly competitively. Her fashion sense is modest, but she admits she has a certain infatuation with vintage clothing. Her favorite authors are a mix between the historians of Griffonstone and the fairy tale authors from Earth. Her biggest aspiration is to be a successful author writing children's books, but right now she wants to focus on flying to appease her mother.
It's late, but would anyone be interested in green about Gumdrop teaming up with Simmer & Broil to fight a monster?
>>26838766
Post it, fampai.
>>26838766
Absolutely.
>>26838766
Yes plz anon
>>26838007
I don't think creating new satyrs without any new content to them is really going to do anything to help. I'd gladly be proven wrong though.just throwing something like this out there... It doesn't do anything. Write a 100 word short intro or something. Have Zvezda change schols from Newnewnew Griffonstone to Cloudsdale, and introduce himself at the front of class:
"Hello, my name is Zvesda, and I am from the mighty Griffiot city of Newnewnew Griffonstone. I like the stars and flying and the colour purple, but I do not like sleeping on clouds because you do not wake up where you went to sleep."
>The class stares up at you.
>Think, Zvesda, think!
"Also I am a ponemon grand master and have beaten the elite four without saving or using any items and only using a single ponemon"
>The class goes wild
That way there's something actually being given to the thread. Just posting your idea for a character is quite narcissistic, because you're trying to lock in this persona without doing any real effort.
>>26838007
>Her room has a mattress taped to the wall for when she enters through the window too fast to stop.
>she's prone to giving her partners bruises and breathing difficulties during sex
>>26839259
Yeah, they're just satyrs I pulled out of my ass. I'll admit there's not much to them now but I posted them because why not.
I am planning a short of them. 500~ish words tops.The last time I wrote a story it turned from a planned 10K into a 50K word epic that was kinda shit. If I had kept it to 10K words it would have been much better. I wasted four months on that thing...
>>26832764
>>26832624
>>26788977
>"Daddy!"
"Jesus fuck!"
>You hastily toss the issue of Playcolt you were reading underneath one of the sofa cushions and try to act natural as your daughter storms into the room clad in her very own suit of custom ceramite power armour.
>Now standing before you with an adorable pout, she crossed her arms over her chest and taps her hoof in irritation,
"What is it, sweetheart?"
>She scowls.
>"Orion said something heretical!"
>You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a long suffering sigh.
>You really wish you hadn't told her as a joke that your old Warhammer 40K codexes were historical documents.
How do satyrs deal with their estrus now? Were there things that they learned previously that either helped or made it worse?
>>26841785
>How do satyrs deal with their estrus now?
Their parents helps them.
>>26841785
>"Daddy! My peehole is all red and puffy, and it won't stop itching!"
>>26842463
>Tosses XXL dildo in the room
>Tosses ice pack
>Locks the door
>>26842680
>daddy's face when
>>26842680
"I warned you not to poke stuff up there, sweetie, I told you, bro"
>>26843029
>you will never tell your satyr daughteru to stop shoving dirty paintbrush handles up her pisshole
>you will never let her borrow one of your sets of proper sounds to use instead>you will never teach her how to use them properly
Mornin' boys.
>>26839934
Excellent!
>>26845028
I still think udders and boobs at the same time looks odd.
>>26845050
>>26845050
It's meh. If I had to choose how it would look, it would probably look more like the time /d/non drew her with udders.
>>26845028
>Fresh milk
>>26845180
Cows only make milk when they're pregnant anon.
>>26845213
Utah better get busy then.
>>26845213
How do you know the same is true for Equestrian cows?
>>26845295
Anon...Anon...No.
>>26845223
What would they even look like?
>>26846992
Does Hope have the best tail?
How many satyrs do you think will wait after marriage to have sex.
I'd like to be a satyr, mainly because it'd bepractical. I'd never have to wear shoes, I'd have a fur coat so I wouldn't have to worry about scrapes as much, and I'd be able to kick a hole in a fence.sounds like a good time to me
>>26848020
All of them. Satyrs are pure.
>>26848456
None of them. Satyrs are sluts.
>>26848020
I'd hope none of them.
Sex is part of married life, and unless you believe that sex should only occur in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation, it's also really fun.
Especially if both of you know what you're doing, and what you like.
The first girl I ever fucked was a freak in the sheets. She was up for nearly anything, once.
However, she felt that sex should only be between a penis and a vagina. She refused to give or recieve oral, handies, or fingering. Anal was also off the cards.
I like getting blowjobs. I like eating girls out. That wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me, especially as she was up for it whenever I wanted, but it had to be vaginal sex.
But if I didn't know that ahead of time, and she wasn't so up for trying anything (she was my first sub, and a massive painslut), then there was no way we would have been sexually compatible.
That was before I met your mother, even as a friend, Hope. But I have to say this... Whilst Rainbow was a freak in the sheets? Lyra's a freak /everywhere/, and she loves oral. So yes, it's fine if you borrow a condom for your date with Applejack's kid.
>>26848722
I don't know, I think people with make sexual compatibility a bigger deal than it really needs to be. I always viewed going into a relationship as a pretty big deal and you should only start to seriously talk about sex until you're thinking to commit to take the relationship to the next level. I don't know, I'm pretty traditional. I still think there's some value waiting until marriage.
>>26848758
>value waiting until marriage
There is, especially if both of you hold that as a value dear to yourself.
But at the same point, you have to make sure that you fit together, and not in the physical sense.
You love meat. You have it with at least two of your three meals a day. Your weekend treat is going out to a new steakhouse, or a new brazilian BBQ, or going for Noah's Ark Pizzadouble of every meat; then if your partner is vegan... At least one of you is going to be dissapointed. Maybe you split up for your treats, maybe she comes along and has to put up with the smell, maybe you also give up animal products.
But the point is that the two of you disagree on something on a quite basic level, and that will cause continual friction unless it is settled in a way that appeases both of you. Maybe you like her more than meat. Maybe she likes you more than she dislikes meat. Maybe you alternate weeks, and that's enough for you.
Sex is, I think, similar. I don't require sex multiple times a day to continue living. But I do have a sex drive that means I want it that often.
If I were long term with a partner who only wanted sex for a few days every cycle, and only when she wanted to get pregnant, and was never up for any other form of play...
I wouldn't leave her if I loved her. Because I love her.
But I wouldn't be happy with it.
And whilst I'd be happy she was happy with out sex life, I'd probably still have to put a lock on the computer room door, and get through large amounts of tissues.
Because of the sad films I'd be watching.
>>26848758
>getting married
>ever
You know that's the surest way of ruining your relationship, right?
Satyr fact #409 - Social status is satyr society is largely determined by two primary factors, the fluffiness of your ears and the attractiveness of your human parent.
>>26850038
>Satyr fact #409 - Social status is satyr society is largely determined by two primary factors,
>the fluffiness of your ears
So I guess Satyrs without fluffy ears are up shit creek huh
>the attractiveness of your human parent.
Something that is highly subjective.
Man Satyr Society is a crock of shit
>>26850118
Attractiveness of one's parent is determined by a vote from the Elder Council of satyrs, who are absolutely NOT biased in any and DON'T take bribes no matter what anybody says.
>>26850229
>"Daddy, how big is your dick?"
>You choke on the tea you'd been drinking and look at your daughter wide eyed, not entirely sure that you'd heard her correctly.
"Pa-Pardon?"
>She points down at your crotch.
>"You dick, how big is it?"
>You stare at her finger for a second.
"Why on Earth would you need to know that?"
>She pouts.
>"Because I'm sick of Glimmer lording the fact that she outranks me over me every damn day, and I only need to upgrade your hotness rating a few more points before I'll be the new number seven satyr in town."
>You look on, utterly dumbfounded.
>"So... how big is it?"
>You turn to your wife.
"Sweetie, can you please deal with this? I think I must be hallucinating or something."
>Your wife looks up from her newspaper and frowns at your daughter.
>"Leave your father alone, dear, you know how prudish he can be."
>"But-"
>"No buts, dear. Lets just say that your father's stallionhood is suitably satisfactory and leave it at that."
>Your daughter seems to consider things for a moment before sighing and making her way from the kitchen with a shrug.
>"Ugh, fine, I guess that'll have to do. Man, at this rate I'll never dislodge Yuzu from the number one spot."
>>26850555
>You stare at the extreme sports weekly magazine that your beloved daughter holds out to show you.
"Okay, what am I supposed to be seeing here, Yuzu?"
>Snatching the magazine back, she hastily flicks to page twelve, which features a foldout article on "X-treme snowboard skydiving" complete with eye catching photographs and advertisements for energy drinks before practically shoving it into your face again.
>"You should try this!"
>You chuckle.
"Are you nuts? That looks unbelievably dangerous. I'm a single parent, sweetie, I can't afford to get killed or crippled or they'll take you away for adoption."
>"But how am I supposed to maintain my rank as number one satyr in town if you don't get an exciting new hobby that makes girl want you all up inside them? I can't get my ears any fluffier, damn it, I already spend an hour and a half grooming them every morning!"
"Sweetie, you'll always be number one satyr to me."
>She raises an eyebrow, seeming unimpressed.
>"Yeah, real smooth there, daddy. Maybe if you tried lines like that with more girl in public then we wouldn't be in this mess."
>>26850118
>Man Satyr Society is a crock of shit
Just like human society on Earth then. I guess that makes sense.
>>26849247
Then you'd communicate. No one is ever so immovable that long term communication and planning can't work. Try to explain why you want to do these things and, in turn, try to see if there's an explanation on why she feels a certain way about sex. Ask her if she would be willing to take medicine for enhancing libido. But you can also try some things to keep your own libido in check. Committing fully to someone can sometimes mean you have to go through some changes you might find difficult for that person, but you ultimately go through it because you love them.
>>26852406
That's a new take on Darcy.
Would you help look after your teenage daughter's baby if the father pulled a Tyrone and did a runner after finding out he knocked her up, or would you encourage her to get an abortion? Keep in mind that you'll be paying for pretty much everything the child needs up until your daughter manages to get a job,which is almost impossible now days in Equestria thanks to all the damned minotaur immigrants.
Also what are various satyrs dream jobs?
>>26852406
>Darcy's Uncle Ruckus comes runnin, shouting about 'trussin dem niggaz'
>>26852426
How so?
>>26852505
Find the dead beat and make his ass take responsibility. Not able? Would encourage an abortion or adoption. She is NOT ready for a child if she's a teenager... Don't want her losing her free years.
>>26852516
Ruckus would be jealous of Warren for being one of "them lucky Niggahs dat got vitiligo". Just like Michael Jackson.
>>26852505
Emma wants to be a NEET housewife to some rich businessman so that she never has to get a job or leave the house so long as she's willing to provide sex for him at least twice a week, just like in her latest erotic doujin.
>>26852516
God damn it, I was thinking the exact same thing.
>>26852505
"Who's the father? I'll fucking end him for stealing my baby girl's purity!"
>"But daddy, you're the daddy, remember."
"Oh... Oh yeah, right... Well shit, guess I'll go get a coat hanger then."
>>26852613
Kill yourself
>>26852406
>>26852426
I ship it.
>>26852654
Did my little joke post trigger you? I debated whether or not to include warning beforehand stating that the following three lines may hurt people's feeling, but I decided against it on the grounds that surely nobody would take what was clearly meant in jest seriously
>>26852698
I see you're ignoring my advice
>>26852613
>not wanting to raise your daughter/granddaughter
>>26852613
>"But I'm the daddy, daddy."
"Uh, come again? You've lost me."
>"Well to cut a long story short, there was a mixup with a futa spell gone haywire, and since it was springtime I was in heat."
"What exactly are you saying?"
>"I got turned on by myself and I maybe kinda put my throbbing horse dong inside my own horse pussy o of curiosity."
"What in the hell are you talking about?"
>"You see, daddy, I literally went and fucked myself and got myself pregnant."
"Dear merciful Christ!"
>"You think that's bad? I still don't have a date and the prom is in two days!"
>>26852613
>Fuck your waifu
>Fuck your daughteru
>Fuck your grand-daughteru
>Be immortal
>Keep fucking your offspring until you fuck your original waifu's genes out.
>End up with femanon satyr
>What do?
>>26852819
>"But the baby's its own daddy, daddy! He travelled back in time from twenty years in the future to get me, his own mother, pregnant to ensure he'd be born to lead the satyr rebellion against the forces of the machines."
"Well... Okay then. Have you thought of a name for the little guy?"
>"I was thinking of maybe calling himJohn Cena."
>>26852861
Fuck the femanon satyr obviously, just to see what the result would be.
>>26852406
I think this is the first time Warren's worn a shirt
>>26852406
Darcy's a cute. CUTE!
>>26853535
>Turns out Darcy was never disgusted by his skin condition she just disgusted when people don't wear shirts
>>26853726
So Darcy hates nudists?
>>26852861
Unless being in Equestria somehow made you able to live forever, I wonder how many generations of daughterus you could father?
>>26853768
Absolutely disgusted
>>26853768
No, she just envies them because her parents won't let her go around topless.
>>26853768
Ayy.
>>26853799
What if she was just turned off by his casual nudity, or she has some sort of fear of it or something?
>>26853787
Average age of sexual maturity in male humans is 16-17. Let's assume 16 because you started early. Let's assume that Anon lives a healthy life and dies at the age of 100.
Average age of sexual maturity in females is 15-17. Assume 15 because there's no laws about it. Assume satyrs mature in generally the same time as humans.
15 is the time it takes for a female to mature, however to compensate for impregnation, pregnancy and relief after birth, let's round up and assume that one generation takes 16 years.
So 100 years of life - 16 years of childhood - 1 year of fucking your waifu and her pregnancy - 15 years for birth, childhood, and sexual maturity of first daughteru = 68 years of hardcore daughter-fucking. You would be 32 when you would first stick your dick inside your own spawn and 33 when your first incest baby is born, ending the first generation and beginning the second.
So to compensate for your daughter's pregnancy, let's subtract one year of daughter fucking to end SatyrGen 1.
So 67 years of fucking your daughters / 16 years per generation = 4.18 generations of children, plus one generation that already ended. You would be able to impregnate 5 females and die before getting to the sixth. You would be able to end generation five and start the sixth.
If you started early, you would be able to father your daughter, granddaughter, your great-granddaughter, your great-great-granddaughter, your great-great-great-granddaughter.
>>26853787
>>26854905
So...
AnonGen = AnonxFemanon, Years 0-16, Results in Ponefucker Anon
SatyrGen1 = AnonxPone, Years 16-32, Results in Mature Daughter1
SatyrGen2 = AnonxDaughter1, Years 32-48, Results in Mature Daughter2
SatyrGen3 = AnonxDaughter2, Years 48-64, Results in Mature Daughter3
SatyrGen4 = AnonxDaughter3, Years 64-80, Results in Mature Daughter4
SaytrGen5 = AnonxDaughter4, Years 80-96, Results in Mature Daughter5
SatyrGen6 = AnonxDaughter5, Years 96-100, Results in Child Daughter6.
Standing next to your deathbed, Daughter1 is 83 years old, Daughter2 is 67, Daughter3 is 51, Daughter4 is 35, Daughter5 is 19, and Daughter6 is around 3 years old.
That is a lot of fucking.
>>26854917
I'm pretty sure my math is right. This got a little bit confusing.
>>26854905
>If you started early, you would be able to father your daughter, granddaughter, your great-granddaughter, your great-great-granddaughter, your great-great-great-granddaughter.
Scratch that, you would be able to go all the way to your Great-Great-Great-Great-Granddaughter.
>>26854905
>>26854917
>you will never die peacefully at the old age of 100, surrounded by 6 generations of daughterus
>>26854917
We must also take into consideration the fact that you are not limited to impregnating each daughteru only once. If you are diligent, you could impregnate each sexually mature daughteru once every 9 months-ish (after she gives birth), so there could be any number of daughterus in each generation.
That means if you start fucking your first daughteru at 32, you could impregnate her (68*12)/9 = 90 times before you die at 100, meaning you would have 90 gen2 daughterus.
(52*12)/9 = 69 gen3 daughterus
(36*12)/9 = 48 gen4 daughterus
(20*12)/9 = 26 gen5 daughterus
(4*12)/9 = 5 gen6 daughterus
... and that's not even taking into account the number of in-between-generation daughterus (?) if you impregnated every one of the daughterus of each generation as soon as possible.
You'd basically have enough daughterus to populate a small country. And hopefully at least a few sonus to continue the line when you finally pass on.
>>26855092
Well I was only counting the number of generations, not the possible number of children.Dear god, I'm discussing incest genealogy on an imageboard.
Am I above the autism, or am I contributing to it?
>>26855148
You are hardcore contributing to it. This is your life.
>>26855148
And you did a great job of it, Anon.
Just pointing it out. Honestly, the thought alone of trying to calculate the maximum possible number of daughterus makes my head hurt.
I wrote a quick program in the D programming language to calculate the number of daughterus achievable.
http://dpaste.dzfl.pl/450c9f53c005
According to it,
>If you meet your waifu at age 16 and die at the age of 100, then assuming each daughteru becomes sexually mature at the age of 16 and you make sure to impregnate each daughteru as soon as possible, you will be able to produce 369110 daughterus spanning 6 generations.
I'm honestly unsure if I fucked something up (other than the daughterus, hue) but if it's correct, that's a lot of daughterus.
>>26855092
>>26855170
FUCK. I fucked up, anon. I accidentally calculated that one generation would result in 16 mature daughters per female.
An hour gone to waste.TIME TO START AGAIN
>>26855735
What?
>>26855735
Well, the problem of calculating it manually (and the reason I wrote a program to do it instead of even trying) is that you can't cleanly divide it into generations if you're trying to calculate the maximum number of daughterus possible. You have to take into account impregnating your waifu and every single daughteru of every generation as soon as possible at all times during your possible time.
There may exist some clever mathematical formula for calculating this sort of thing, but maths isn't my strong suit, so I went with just writing a simple loop to calculate it instead.
>>26855744
I forgot that each daughter needed 16 years to finish a generation, and that each daughter would be born one year apart.
The model I used is that every sixteen years there would be sixteen mature females per mother. In reality there would be one 16-year old that just gave birth, one pregnant 15 year old, and so on.
>>26855776
Yeah, your way is probably more efficient. I just like to do things in my head. Consider it a mental exercise.
>>26855792
>I just like to do things in my head. Consider it a mental exercise.
Do post your findings. I'm not even sure my program is correct.
>>26855776
Actually, I might be able to wrangle something up in Excel...
>>26855814
Will do.
Of course, my program doesn't take into account such things as the possibility of twins, triplets, etc, nor the possibility that some of the children would likely be boys.
>>26855839
Yeah, for the sake of simplicity I'm assuming a lot of things.
Things like male offspring, the possibility of failed pregnancies, lowered fertility, and impregnation, pregnancy, birth, and rest all neatly combined into one year.
If we were counting the aforementioned factors, I'd break open the liquor cabinet.
Okay, this is just me brainstorming a little bit. Child designations are as followed.
Daughter1 means first generation, not when she was born, but whom she was born from (pone waifu).
Daughter2-1 means Daughter1's first child. Daughter2-2 means Daughter1's second child. Daughter34-50 means Daughter33's 50th child. And so on.
Also, to keep incest to the maximum, our wife has now disappeared and is no longer producing satyrbabies for us.WELCOME TO /SATYR/ MOTHERFUCKERS
>>26855814
Good night Anon, I'll try again tomorrow.
I think I'm going to download some farm cattle breeding chart software or something, because this is too much for pen or Excel to handle.
>>26857198
Who's 13?
Okay, but somebody calculate the chances of each new inbred abomination behind hideously deformed and mentally retarded. I know the chances of severe abnormalities after a single generation of incest are fairly small, and that they increase exponentially with each following generation, so how long until your daughterus start being born looking like damn necromorphs with a thirst for pony blood meaning that you have to keep them locked in the basement when guests come over?
Are we assuming male offspring are offered up to the Whitewalkers? Do we keep the strongest male and train him in the ways of daughter fucking in order to carry on our legacy when we're gone?
>>26832137
>>26832176
>>26832218
This is not how you limerick.
>>26856078
>Also, to keep incest to the maximum, our wife has now disappeared and is no longer producing satyrbabies for us
>"I really mean it, Anon! Stop having sex with our daughter, it's sick! Stop or... or I'm leaving!"
>You glance to the doorway of your bedroom where your noticibly pregnant daughter stands scantily clad in a lacy lingerie.
>Noticing your gaze upon her, she bites her lip, giggles playfully and trailers a finger over her ample breasts.
>You blink and shake your head slightly, feeling as if you're awakening from a daydream before turning back to your wife.
"I don't want you to leave, but... You ask the impossible!"
>>26857700
>so how long until your daughterus start being born looking like damn necromorphs with a thirst for pony blood meaning that you have to keep them locked in the basement when guests come over?
Well, if it ever came to that, perhaps it's time to start cross-breeding the most interesting abominations with each other and see if it could produce any useful abominations. If nothing else, they might be useful for scaring potential enemies.
>Are we assuming male offspring are offered up to the Whitewalkers?
Nah, this isn't Game of Thrones. After a while, the number of sexually mature daughterus would become so great that for you to single-handedly keep them all satisfied at all times would become completely impossible. It'd be good to have some sonus to keep their sisterus and motherus satisfied during pregnancies when you had to prioritize impregnating newly matured ones and those who recently gave birth.
>>26858318
>Nah, this isn't Game of Thrones
It's been a while since I've read the books but what was the name of that one guy who did exactly what we're talking to about?
On a side note there's also the fact that Satyrs might be sterile, and even if they are able to reproduce with each new generation you decrease the amount of Horse in them till they're pretty much human.
>>26858580
Craster or something like that I think?
He was living the life, he was. Until those bastards came and destroyed everything.
>>26859125
>He was living the life
>Fucking your daughters to produce more daughters so you can fuck them and make more while throwing out any males
Pretty sure this is how cults start.
[Spoiler]Honestly, if this is what the thread has devolved to, I'm just gonna sit this one out. Have fun with your shit fetish of generational fucking. Also like how no one has considered mayve you get boys instead of girls. All men. Fucking sausage fest first gen.
>>26859313
Nigga, I don't have work, my GTX 970 is out on an RMA, I just got back from a two hour walk, and I ain't got shit to do.
If I'm gonna go autistic, I'm gonna go full autistic.
>>26857198
>>26857198
I don't know, I'd probably go with Cider and most of the other mane 6 satyrs. Either that or they would be 14 with Tonbo.
>>26859313
>Also like how no one has considered mayve you get boys instead of girls
We already pointed out that omission several posts ago. It's not like this is some sort of serious scientific research where maximum accuracy matters. It's just a humorous project to calculate the theoretical maximum number of daughterus achievable in a lifetime given ideal circumstances.
>>26858580
>with each new generation you decrease the amount of Horse in them till they're pretty much human
I wonder what that would be like. Plain human looking girls with horse tails?
>Anon bangs his satyr daughterus for generations, producing hundreds of thousands of daughterus, the later of which have practically no visible horse traits anymore
>his sonus continues the line after he passes away, producing millions more daughterus with their sisterus
>Celestia worries that they're planning to take over Equestria and banishes them to another dimension where she believes they won't be a threat to Equestria
>and that's how the Equestria Girls universe was created
>>26860471
This is a pretty picture of Cider.
So I'm running with the idea that Gumdrop's a monster-hunting agent in training, right? How many people have read that Lyra & Bon Bon chapter book, because I'm going to base a lot of it on that.
>>26860840
>Lyra & Bon Bon chapter book
What?
>>26860840
I don't think I've read it. Is it necessary to read it in order to understand a lot of things in the story you're writing?
>>26860938
Mmn, nah, not necessarily. Gumdrop's gonna talk about it and it's not all that different than what Bon Bon already said in the 100th episode.
>>26860924
It's a chapter book by G.M. Berrow that has Bon Bon reenlisted back in the agency with Lyra as her partner.
>>26860985
>G.M. Berrow
Never heard of this person. Is this an official book, or some autistic longer-than-LOTR fanwank a la Fallout Equestria?
>>26860840
I based a story around darkest dungeon. I'm sure as long it doesn't have too many grammatical errors, somewhat easy to understand, or not hot trash, I'm sure it'll be fine
>>26861046
Where is that story anyway for those who would like to read it again? I can't find it in the Searchable Archive.
>>26861024
Official. You could just read the summary here. http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Lyra_and_Bon_Bon_and_the_Mares_from_S.M.I.L.E.
>>26861083
https://www.anonpone.com/pastes/story/9k4XWam6
>>26861381
Awesome! But you forgot to add the most important tag of them all: "Satyr".
>>26859313
That could work. Of course you could always try contributing with some of your own content instead that people may like.
>>26859865
Worse, they'd be anthro.
>>26862513
Satyrs have fully human upper bodies. I doubt diluting their horse genes further would give them more horse features.
![1458643667405[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/5JwQjMH.png "1458643667405[1]")
