Previous Thread: >>25810984
IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX (embed)
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9 (embed)
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY
>rope's Gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/
PiE corner:
Remember to tag all PiE Stories.
>PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
>PiE image archives: http://derpy.me/PiE_Pictures
>Browser Pony Author List: http://pastebin.com/ZCGjtftk
>Browser Pony image and story archive (cloud): http://derpy.me/BrowserPonies
>>25881197
Tripfags at Holiday World
Reminder thatMagic School When?
>>25881250
now
>>25881380
Don't tease like that unless you mean it.
Threadly reminder that Wuten is ded, and so is AchingScaphoid.
IDS CHRISTMAS
Threadly reminder that NOF will never continue One of a Kind.
>>25881841
probably your fault
>T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the thread
>No green could be seen, many thought it was dead
>All the lurkers were pussies, too afraid to post
>And many previous writefags had all turned to ghosts
>Still more readers were nestled all snug in their bed
>Fapping all Christmas, thinking of ponies giving them head
>Yes it seemed that thread was all settled right then
>Quietly slipping away to page 10
>The speed of the board that day was awfully slow
>With not much activity on threads above or below
>Then what to our green-starved eyes should appear?
>But an old fat red bastard, with human slaves instead of deer!
>He dragged them all in, so lively and quick
>Who knew that old Santa could be such a dick
>More rapid than catbirds his bitches they came,
>And he whistled, and farted, and called them by name!
>"Now Gatorbait! now, Fapman! now, TexAnon and 8th-sin!
>On, Mandroid! On, Bolding! on Crossroads, loveandpowerlifin’!
>To the top of the board! Don’t you dare let it sit!
>Now write away! Write away! Even though you’re all shit!”
>Parkers and namefags before the wild shitstorm fly,
>When they meet with disagreement, they just shitpost and cry.
>So into a new thread the chained writefags just flew,
>With regrets and much drinking, and the old red bastard too.
>And then, in a moment, a few writefags began
>To write before the whip of the obese red man.
>Before you could question, or vent out your worries,
>Those faggots began creating something sorta like stories.
>>25882061
>They were dressed very shoddily, like he didn’t let them shower
>And every last writefag bowed down to his power,
>He looked so smug and so greedy and willing,
>Like a chubby old jew, getting ready for shilling.
>But the writefags, they toiled! They did not at all tarry!
>Perhaps they were afraid of him popping their butt cherry!
>A trail of tears followed, wherever they’d go,
>And the cumstains on their pants were as white as the snow.
>But they did not stop, and the stories came tumbling,
>About all our favorite ponies, and Anon, dumb and bumbling.
>What’s more was their stories, both romantic and smelly,
>Got bored readers posting, old Flutterrape was jelly!
>The scene was so joyous, all of them writing like a tard,
>With readers around them, crying, cracking up, getting hard,
>With each little post, with each story in the thread,
>We soon did know our general was far from dead.
>And Saint Nick? He smiled, seeing his work was done!
>He went to all our dear writefags one by one.
>He loosed their chains, and said, voice trembling and true:
>”If you stop writing, I’ll come back and fucking kill all of you.”
>He sprang to his sleigh, he left them violated,
>But he left the thread full of green, the cloppers all satiated.
>And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove too far away to see,
>"Merry Christmas you faggots, long live AiE!”
Happy Holidays, to readers parkers, namefags, oldfags, newfags, readers, and general pieces of shit. Hope you have a good one, I'll have a drink in your honor.
>>25882061
>>25882069
10/10
The collected Adventures of He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria. For anyone who missed them. I'll write more soon.
http://pastebin.com/t6AwVLrk
Dec 12th
• "Tree Hugger X Anon guard" by CrossRoads [http://pastebin.com/VCGEsx3U]
• "It's a hard knocks life" by Zombienon [http://pastebin.com/p36JkaPh]
Dec 13th
• "Tree Hugger X Anon guard" by CrossRoads [http://pastebin.com/VCGEsx3U]
Dec 14th
• "Changing Lanes 40" by AutoPony [http://pastebin.com/GFd5vuVn]
• "A Rainbro Christmas" by Flutterpriest [http://pastebin.com/Agiiu69J]
• "Out With The Old" by Anonpencil [http://pastebin.com/dTLE40wM]
Dec 15th
• "To Fall Through Worlds" by MidnightStarg [http://pastebin.com/UChftkYs]
• "The Joy of Pepper" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/sLyVaRNh]
Dec 16th-18th
• No New Stories
Dec 19th
• "Tree Hugger X Anon guard" by CrossRoads [http://pastebin.com/VCGEsx3U]
• "Am I Evil 20: What it Pays to Be a Star" by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/Y59Mba5K]
Dec 20th
• "Dwarf in Equestria Chapter 10" by Thovar [http://pastebin.com/BRqFRgv9]
Dec 21st
• "The Joy of Pepper" by TexAnon [http://pastebin.com/sLyVaRNh]
• "My Little Magical Pony" by GSW [http://pastebin.com/bqyUGJ2e]
Dec 22nd
• "Let's Run Away Together" by Sneaky [http://pastebin.com/cFemKwRW]
Dec 23rd
• "My Little Magical Pony" by GSW [http://pastebin.com/bqyUGJ2e]
Dec 24th
• No New Stories
Dec 25th
• "Moonie's Hearth Warming Eve" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/eskAy3Yg]
>>25882524
http://pastebin.com/tCEu3CEZ
>>25882533
Are you trying to tell me I forgot it or something? Well, it's on there now.
If so, put it at the end of your story next time.
Dammit Jffry, you fucking commie.
>"Doctor! We need your advice help with something!"
>"Help? If this bucking buck-toothed fairy doesn't get out of my face in the next three seconds he's gonna need a lot more than advice."
>"And if you do not "back off" sir, I fear that fisticuffs are in order."
>"Buck you!"
>"See here you chamberpot of a stallion!"
>A lesser man would have looked up from his explicit magazine to see who was yelling and shouting and carrying on
>There wasn't a pony in the market that wasn't watching the hubbub that was going on between, CloudChaser, Thunderlane, and Time Turner
>The three had been going at it all morning, and it was coming to a point where a pony or two was considering walking over to the three and politely telling them to take it easy
>Since nopony wanted to take such a drastic step without good reason they waited for Dr. Anonymous to lift his head up and assess the situation
>But, as stated before, a lesser man would have already looked up and asked what was going on
>And, since the doctor hadn't so much as twitched as the three came over, it could only be surmised that Anonymous was not lesser by half
>So the citizens of Ponyville, the troubled trio included, could only wait for him to grace them with his presence
>"Dr. Anonymous? Did you hear us?" CloudChaser asked
>Anon said nothing, ever the patient sage, simply turning the page in his magazine whilst he hummed a tune to himself
>Time Turner, Thunderlane, and CloudChaser looked at each other unsurely
>The silence quickly became thick and awkward, so awkward that volatile feeling amongst the three was stopped in its tracks
>Thunderlane was looking off into the distance, nervously kicking at the ground
>Time Turner was busy fixing and re fixing his tie, muttering about something or another
>CloudChaser, standing in between a rock and a hard place, could only look up at Anonymous with a pitifully hopeful expression, praying to the gods, old and new, that Anon would take pity on her and lend them his wisdom
>>25882775
>Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the greatest wise men of the land lifted up his hand
>Time Turner, Thunderlane, And CloudChaser watched with unblinking attention as he reached over and tapped his hand against the glass jar sitting by his feet
>On either side of his office both Bonbon and Carrot Top let out frustrated sighs
>Getting the message, CloudChaser let out a quiet giggle
>"O-Oh, of course!"
>As quick as she could, she pulled out a bit bag and placed five bits into the jar
>"There you go!"
>The second that the bits hit the bottom of the jar the doctor sat up on his stool and placed his magazine under the counter, a professional smile on his face
"Aw, good afternoon my dear," he said kindly. "What can I do you for?"
>With an angry snort, Thunderlane took a step forward
>"Yeah, you need to tell this curd licker that--"
>Looking away from CloudChaser the doctor fixed the black pegasus an irritated look that stopped his rant in its tracks
>Not breaking eye contact, Anonymous once again tapped the jar
"If you need my help, my dear colt, I'm going to have to ask you to place five bits in this jar."
>Thunderland sputtered, his eyes bugging out in outrage
>"W-What?! Cloudy just put five bits in your bucking jar!"
"Yes, the miss did, but I don't recall you doing so."
>"We all have the same problem! It's not fair if we all gotta--"
>Frowning, CloudChaser nudged the stallion hard in the ribs as Anon rested his chin on his hands
>"Will you just shut the buck up and give him the bits?"
>She looked over at Time Turner
>"Both of you? I just want to get this over with so I can... Can decide what I'm going to do..."
>Though both stallions grumbled about the whole business being highway robbery they both pulled out bit bags and dropped their required bits into the glass jar
>"There," Thunderlane muttered. "Are you happy now?"
>>25882810
"There is not a moment that goes by that I am not ecstatic about drawing breath, my dear stallion," the doctor answered with a genuine smile. "Now what can I do for you three on this fine day?
>Three mouths opened to begin their barrage but the doctor raised a hand
"One at a time, if you please."
>Giving the two stallions on either side of her a look, CloudChaser took a step forward and hopped into the stool
>"...Well, me and Thunderlane have been together for about a year," she began, her back legs swinging. "And for the longest time the two of us have been happy together..."
>"As happy as can be," Thunderlane added, giving Time Turner a dirty look. "Up until this bucking donkey showe--"
>"Thunder please," CloudChaser begged. "Please just don't start fighting again..."
>Setting his jaw Thunderlane went silent, gesturing Cloud to continue
>"But a few weeks ago Time Turner came into my life trying to get me to dump my coltfriend and be with him," CloudChaser continued with a sigh. "I tried to tell him I'm just not interested but... I don't think that that's true..."
>The pegasus looked over her shoulder at the two stallions
>"Even though I love Thunderlane with all of my heart Time Turner just has this... charm this... SOMETHING that draws me to him."
>With a smug smile Time Turner slicked back his mane
>"It's the accent, love," he said knowingly. "It's ALWAYS the accent."
>Humming, Dr. Anonymous leaned forward, seemingly looming over the three ponies as he looked them over
"Aw, so you are torn between one who is different and new and one who is routine but loved," he said, tapping a finger against his cheek
>CloudChaser nodded, slumping in his seat
>"...Yeah."
"Hum, it seems that you suffer from an embarrassment of riches..."
>Looking away from the mare Anonymous regarded the two stallions
>His eyes narrowed, gears turning in his head, before he sat up and smiled
"I think I have a solution for you three!"
>>25882831
>The mare and two stallions looked at the sage in confusion and awe
>"But don't you want to get more information?" Thunderland questioned. "Get our side of the story, get to know how we ALL feel about this whole bucked up situation?"
"While most would conduct such investigations I am a master of my craft, young stallion," Anonymous said with a chuckle. "With the smallest effort I can wring out truths from a person. A twitch of your body tells me more about you than you would care to admit, and don't even get me started on the tales that your ears and noses are telling. So--"
>Leaning forward until he was just a few inches from CloudChasers face, Anonymous intertwined his fingers and grinned
"I believe that I have a solution to your problem. A solution that I will, being the master of my craft that I am, lead you three to."
>Time Turner, Cloud, and Thunder looked at each other
>It seemed too good to be true
>They had been struggling with this for WEEKS and they hadn't come up with anything that would let them all walk away happy and with a clear conscience
>"...Alright," Time Turner said with a hesitant nod. "If you have a solution than the three of us would be happy to hear it."
>"Yeah, lay it on us, doc," Thunder added
>Anonymous's smile widened and delight sparkled in his eyes
"Now, gentlecolts, what is the purpose of courting?"
>Time Turner and Thunderlane looked at each other
>"You do it so you can get a marefriend, maybe even a wife afterward?" Thunderlane answered
>Tsking, Anonymous shook his head
"You are correct my dear fellow, but your answer is not the one that I was seeking. It is no fault of yours; I believe that I just phrased the question incorrectly."
>Humming, the doctor looked off into the distance, judging each word as if it was worth its weight in gold
"In the most basic, animalistic way, why does one court a mate for themselves?"
>Time Turners nose scrunched up
>>25882856
>"Well, if you say it like that, my good stallion, the only reason one finds a mate is to procreate so that they can ensure that their genes are carried onto the next generation."
>Looking as pleased as punch Anonymous slapped his hand against the counter
"Exactly! But we are not just animals, my friends. We do not have to fight with time and the elements as we once did long ago. We are beings of thought that speak and build adapt like no other."
>Time Turner and Thunder once again exchanged glances
>Both of them had a feeling that they were close to some epiphany, but they just didn't know what it was yet
>"Yes... I suppose. Unlike lesser animals we mate for entirely different reasons, love, lust, the need to be with somepony."
>Anon nodded, pleased with his students' process
"Yes, yes, good. There is no hurried need for any of you to mate with this mare and have children, correct?"
>"I don't think so, no," CloudChaser answered for the three. "I don't think I'm going to want to have kids for a couple of years..."
>Getting the answer that he wanted, Anonymous sat back on his stool and placed his hands behind his head
"So then I propose that, at least for the time being, that you cut this fine mare in half and split her between yourselves."
>The silence that descended upon the marketplace became absolute
>CloudChaser, Thunder, and Time Turner stood there frozen, their minds not yet enlightened to their master's wisdom
>"...E-Excuse me?" Cloud stuttered. "You want them to CUT ME IN HALF?!"
>The pegasus was about to go into a tirade when Anonymous lifted his hand
"The three of you have not gone into this courtship with the intent on procreation, correct?" he asked
>"Well no, but--"
"If you haven't come together with the intent on securing your bloodline then you have come into it with the intent of satisfying your higher thought needs. The needs of love, lust, and what have you."
>"...Well, I guess so... Yeah," Thunder muttered, scratching his chin
>>25882885
>CloudChaser spun around to face him, her eyes burning with outrage
>"What the hay Thunderlane?!"
>"Now, now, Cloudy," Time Turner said diplomatically. "Let's hear what the gentlecolt here had to say before we lose our heads."
>"He just said for you two to cut me in half!"
>Seeing that one of his disciples was resisting his teachings, the doctor turned to the two stallions
"Now gentlecolts, I do not wish for you to instantly take what I say as a natural truth. Instead I only ask that you and I follow this thought with open minds and kind hearts."
>Though CloudChaser continued to loudly voice her concerns Time Turner and Thunderlane looked at each other
>Though over these past few weeks the two had become close to mortal enemies there was still a bond between the two
>They both cared for the angry mare in front of them; maybe not enough that one would call it true love, but enough that they were willing to fight for her
>And while they were both willing to fight for her tooth and nail they both understood that if there was a better way to solve their feud, no matter how the outrageous or nonsensical it sounded, then they should exhaust every avenue to do so
>With that common ground discovered and recognized they both turned back toward the doctor and nodded
>"I'm willing to listen to ya, Doc."
>"Yes, I am willing to hear what you have to say as well."
>"WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU--"
"Thank you very much, gentlecolts, your kindness is a breath of fresh air to this old doctor."
>Getting up from his stool Anonymous walked around the counter
"Now, if the two of you wish to be with this mare to fulfill your higher needs of love and lust and what have you then cutting her in half is the best way to ensure that both of you leave happy and content."
>"But what about ME?!" CloudChaser demanded
>In a bout of wisdom the three men/stallions chose to ignore the wailing banshee
>>25882914
>At that moment they were all scholars traveling hand-in-hand down the road of enlightenment
>And as such the wailings of the outside world meant nothing to them
"Now lets discuss how cutting this fine mare in half will fulfill the first aforementioned need: love."
>The doctor clapped his hands together, collecting his thoughts
"You have a need to feel needed, wanted, loved. There is no shame in wanting that and seeking such things."
>"Thunder, I want to go home right now! This is a load of horse--"
"If you cut this mare in half you have the companionship that you've been seeking."
>"But what if we want ALL of CloudChaser to fulfill that need?" Time Turner questioned
"I dog can fulfill the needs I have just listed my good man, but unlike a dog CloudChaser has more needs that you wish her to fulfill."
>The doctor gestured toward the both of them
"And I can see that the two of you wish for this nonsense to be over. You both are tired warriors that just wish for the battle to end so that you can rest your weary bones."
>With a tired sigh Thunderlane nodded
>"Yeah... I AM pretty sick of this," he admitted. "All of this stress is making my fur fall out..."
"So, with the desire to end this war between your persons in mind, is having half of a mare such a bad thing?"
>"YES! YES IT BUCKING IS!"
>Both Thunder and Time Turner looked at the ground
>"I... suppose not," Time Turner muttered
>"Yeah... I guess I'd be alright with getting half of Cloud. It's better than losing all of her..."
>Beaming, Anonymous clapped his hands together
"Excellent! Now let's get to the other want of the higher being: lust, or the need to procreate for pleasure."
>CloudChaser looked at the three males surrounding her and snorted
>"You know what? I'm going to just bucking leave! When the two of you are doing with this horse apples you'll know where to find me."
>She hopped off the stool and tried to take a step forward when Time Turner's horn glowed
>>25882949
>Cloud's hooves sunk into the ground like quicksand, keeping her firmly in place
>"Wha--GET ME THE BUCK OUT OF HERE!"
"Now, let's say that you cut young CloudChaser just underneath the wings," the doctor said, making a cutting motion through the air. "One of you will be able to enjoy both of her holes with you so desire and the other one will be able to make sure of her mouth and wings."
>Both of the stallions eyeballed Cloud in a way that she didn't like, which made her struggle harder to pull her hooves from the ground
>"WILL SOMEPONY BUCKING HELP ME!" she cried
>But not a pony came to help the mare
>Because fuck the police
>...And there might have also been a two for one sale at the local ice cream stand, drawing the citizens of Ponyville elsewhere
"The two of you will have to pick which holes suite you but nevertheless your other higher function will be fulfilled."
>"...I can see where you're coming from doc, and is seems like you have something there, but there just one problem that I see with your reasoning, doc," Thunder said
>Anonymous regarded the stallion with a look of surprise
"Oh? Well I'd be happy to hear it."
>Thunder scratched the back of his head
>"Doesn't cutting a pony in half kind of... KILL them?"
>Time Turner nodded
>"Yes... I was wondering the same thing myself..."
>Anonymous threw his head back and laughed
"Ah, a wondrous question, but one that I can easily answer my friends! Magic will be your savior."
>The answer hit the two stallions like a ton of bricks
>"Yes, of course! Why didn't I see it?!" Time Turner cried, a great big smile coming to his face
>>25881764The real question is, was I ever truly alive to begin with?
>>25882978
>Cloud let out a yelp as she was encased in the stallion's magical aura and pulled from the ground
>"Magic is the answer! With the right spell we could safely split CloudChaser in half without any ill effects!"
>Time Turner lightly slapped Thunderlane's chest
>"Come, Thunderlane, we must go to my laboratory! There is much to do! Thank you doctor! Without your help I don't know where he'd be!"
>"I call Cloudy's front! That mare can suck a dick like a champ."
>"SOMEPONY BUCKING HELP ME!" Cloud yelled as the two stallions, giggling like a bunch of fillies, dashed away. "SOMEPONY HEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!"
>Carrot Top stood by the doctor as he watched the three disappear off into the distance
>"...I'm gonna tell Princess Twilight about this."
>Anonymous frowned
"Why don't you go back behind your stand and stick a carrot in your cooch, Carrot Top?" he asked, staring down at the little mare. "Lord knows it's the only thing you CAN get into that mouth of hell."
>"Buck you."
"No, YOU."
>>25882995
Alright, I'm done guys. I hope you all, writefags and lurkers and closet homo's, have a wonderful Christmas. God bless and I hope everyone after is better than this one.
LaP
>>25883019
Glad to see santa whipped you good. Thanks.
So I don't have a story written for you guys. However! I do have a Christmas-themed reading.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wn2vRFwOHs
I give you "How Anon Stole Hearth's Warming Eve", written in June of 2012 by Hamnonymous, and probably one of my favorite holiday-themed AiE fics to date: http://pastebin.com/7NPtGDft
>>25883019
For a second there I thought he was legit going to pull a Solomon. I am happy that it stayed insane and ended the way it did.
Merry Christmas, you sick, skilled, fucker.
>>25883104
Cool. Also, who drew that?
>>25883019
you too champ
>page 9
>>25882524
thanks
Some old stuff coming through now... As well as some new stuff!
>After a short yet very strenuous sprint, you finally manage to escape those haunting memories and your steps gradually slow down until they come to a full halt.
>Staggering towards the nearest wall, you lean against it and try to catch your breath again.
>God damn it... It has been a while since you last had to run with Gratia in tow.
>She seems small for a two-handed weapon but she's almost entirely made out of metal... Making her heavier than she might appear
>You slump down to the dusty soil and wipe the thick beads of sweat off your face before you take it into your two hands to regain your composure and senses.
"Fuck..."
>Sometimes, this... This just happens.
>Parts of your darker past, memories you thought you have forgotten, experiences you believed to have drowned in alcohol.... One of those things randomly just catches up with you and the chances are high that it then totally overwhelms you.
>For what reasons? You don't know... And that sometimes keeps you up at night.
>Another reason to actually see that shrink Honey talked about... Maybe talking with someone about it might help.
>Even if you aren't too fond of them and their outrageous salary expectations.
>A silent chuckle escapes your lips and you rest your head against the wall, looking at the gradually darkening sky and the building you currently use to recuperate.
>You recognise it... It's the old western watchtower. Silenty holding a vigil over the river that separates Ponyville's midtown from its western outskirts.
>And of course over the two bridges there too.
>Pity that it's going to knocked down next month. You enjoyed all those evenings spent getting horribly drunk with Mous in its spire and watching the sun slowly rise while enjoying your respective last bottle of cider.
>Well... Can't do much about that, can you?
>>25884505
>At least it will keep your wallet a bit more filled once it's gone... Fancy Star was getting real greedy lately when you asked him for the keys to it.
>Thirty five bits is sheer robbery. Especially when he uses the money to feed his strange care cosmetic habits.
>The amount of hydrating cream he slathers into his face every day before, after and during work is worrying...
"Fag..."
>Enjoying the coolness of the stone bricks for a moment more, you sigh and get on your two legs again.
>No use in wasting time on the cold ground when there is even colder beer waiting for you at home.
>Also you don't exactly need another cystitis... The last one was rather painful and took ages until it finally went away.
>You would have asked Honey Dawn for help but she got way too eager to examine you when you told her that you got a problem down there...
>"Of course! Of course! Just take a seat, pull down your pants and let Doctor Dawn see if she can't kiss this booboo better!"
>So you aborted that endeavour before it got too weird and just bought some medicine from the pharmacy.
>She can be fairly strange sometimes. Endearing, yes. But mostly strange.
>Funnily enough, Honey only acts that way when you two are alone... She's totally normal otherwise.
"Hmm..."
>Anyway.
>Main thing is that you are feeling better again, so there is no reason to dilly-dally.
>Grabbing Gratia from her grassy bed that you apparently threw her into, you dust yourself off real quick and then get going again.
>Once you crossed the river it isn't too far any more. Maybe another ten minutes or so if you don't take additional detours.
>Which you might have to do... If you remember correctly there isn't a single piece of food in your ice box left.
>Well... At least nothing you would deem edible or fit for human consumption.
>Those carrots probably already have founded their own civilization in there... Right next to the Republic of Molbania.
>>25884536
>That's what you call the mouldy banana you wanted to throw away weeks ago but somehow always forgot about.
>Maybe tonight will be the night...
"Nah."
>Future Anon can do that. He's cool and will surely understand why you couldn't have been asked to do that today.
>Yeah... That sounds good.
>But that doesn't solve your food problem... And drinking beer without something fatty to snack on just isn't the same.
>It isn't the same without surfing the internet either, but... Eh. Equestria sadly doesn't have a ponynet yet so your light novels and the few tapes for that projector you own will have to suffice.
>What to eat though...
>Setting foot on the other side of the river, you reach for the small leather pouch that hangs from your belt and check its contents.
"Meh... Thought so."
>What you see doesn't infuse with you optimism though... Two gold, six silver and around twelve bronze coins.
>All in all roughly sixty two bits.
>Given that you need to buy regular groceries and other stuff for your household too this week, that isn't all that much.
>So your options are limited to the less fancy food stalls like that fried hay booth down your street.
>Hay isn't exactly your favourite, but dipped in rich batter and then fried to auburn perfection it isn't all that bad. Especially with a spicy dip or some garlic oil.
>Also its quite cheap. Only five bits for a twelve piece box of hay-nuggets and a small portion of hay-fries.
>Small is not enough for your superior human appetite though... So for one bit more you will take a medium one.
>There should still some hot sauce packets left in one of your cupboards from last time, so that's dealt with already.
>Well, lookie there... A full even if unhealthy meal and you can buy toilet paper too? Amazing.
>That's almost like chri-
>"Hey... Can't you guys, like, stop that? I just wanna go home.", a feminine voice quietly pleads.
>Huh?
>"Stop? STOP! Are you bucking kidding me? Why don't you stop?!",
>>25884545
>"Yah! We don't want you here! Do you get me? Or did you smoke your brain away already?"
>Sounds like two stallions harassing some poor mare... And judging by the volume of the noisiness they are just around the corner.
>"What did I do to you? Just leave me... Ow!", the mare yelps.
>Her cry of pain is followed by sardonic laughter and the distinct sound of hard hooves pummeling soft flesh.
>Now they have done it... Looks like you will meet two new friends today.
>"Urgh! Arh!"
>"Shut your cakehole and just piss off, junkie!"
>"Yeah! Before we make you! And you better take your carpet munching whorse of a housemate with you!"
>A sudden surge of anger and hatred washes over you and you take Gratia into that oh so familiar two-handed grip you learned to perfect and love over all those years.
>By god... It feels good to hold her like that again.
>Time to do what you are being paid for.
>And hope that those two dickheads will give you a reason to justify some more... Direct and exhilarating measures.
>Tearing towards the house on which other side you suspect them to be, you lean against its wall and peek around its corner.
>Too many scars on your body already tell the tale of an unwary human... No reason to add a few more to them.
>So lets see what your new buddies look like...
>A fawn pegasus and a lilac unicorn... Both look quite young and are completely unknown to you.
>So you take a moment to memorize their exact appearance and more importantly their cutie marks.
>An eagle's head on the pegasus's flank and three suns on the unicorn's... That piece of information will come in handy if they manage to get away.
>>25884556
>Which very well could be a real possibility... Alone the chances of you arresting them are quite slime to be honest.
>But that's a thought for later...
>Much to your dismay you can't make out the mare since those punks block your view on her, but her voice sounded awfully familiar.
>So how to tackle this... Just rush in and confront them?
>Yeah...
>Should be easy enough... If they really decide to chance it and take you on, you will deal with the unicorn first and then with his feathered cuddle buddy.
>A quiet titter leaves your lips and you slowly leave your cover.
>"Look at her, Sundance! She is whimpering like a puppy!", the pegasus mockingly states.
>Unarmed and just with his bare hooves he can't do much against you, quite contrary to his unicorn friend who possibly could know a few spells to defend himself.
>"Worthless bitch.", the unicorn replies and spits on the mare.
>Fucker...
>But you doubt that either of those two have any noteworthy combat experience other than kicking a helpless pony, so you decide not to worry too much and continue your slow approach.
>Just a few metres more and they will see in what they let themselves in for.
>You take Gratia into your right hand again and let her heavy head hang low from your side so that her serrated edge almost trails along the pebbly road.
>This is by far no fighting stance, but you are under an obligation to engage any suspect as unprovocatively as possible by order of your captain Arctic Star.
>And this includes that your other hand is visibly free.
>"You see, Anon... Ponies tend to act rather foolishly and without thought when you approach them in your... Usual "in-your-face" way. So please do me the favour and do as I say.", his voice echoes in your head.
>"Argh! Please stop!", the mare cries out.
>The unicorn kicks the cowering mare another time and you take this as your cue to announce your presence.
>>25884564
"Hey!", you bark, "What the fuck you think you are doing there, mates?"
>Instantaneously they yank their heads around and the eyes in them go wide when they see what stands just a stone's throw away from them.
"Step away from the mare before I make you! Got that?!"
>With a mighty beat of his wings the pegasus propels himself a few feet into the air and menacingly points a hoof at you.
>"That's none of your business, monkey boy! Beat it you freak!"
>Now you can see who the mare they harassed actually is..:
>It's Tree Hugger. And she doesn't exactly look in high feather.
>A small trickle of blood runs out of her muzzle, forming a crimson pool right below it, and quite a few bruises and cuts now grace her former blemish-free body.
>God... Why did they do this to her?
>At least she seems to be conscious.
>The sight of her beaten form sends another wave of loathing through your own and you roll your neck, the audible crack causing the two stallions to recoil.
>"We just do this town a favour! So fuck off!", his purple friend chimes in.
>You take a step towards the duo and slowly raise Gratia up to your chest, pointing her dull black blade at them.
"Wanna see how fast I can make this my business? Or... As a matter of fact... The guard's business?"
>"T-The guards?", Sundance stammers and steps back.
"Exactly.", you chuckle, "Guard Anon at your service."
>Hearing this he flinches another time.
>Nonetheless he starts to prepare some spell, his slightly green glowing horn giving him away.
"Stop channeling at once or I will consider this as an act of aggression against a member of the guard!", you say, focusing Gratia's sharp gaze on the unicorn.
>In the meantime Tree Hugger availed herself of the fact that her attackers are distracted and crawled to a nearby shop entrance to take cover.
>She's safe... Very good.
>>25884576
>"You're fucking with us! No way they would allow a freak like you in the guards!", the pegasus barks at you.
>"Yeah! So get lost already before Bouncer and I teach you a lesson!", his unicorn friend sneers, shooting you a cocky grin.
>Both of them take up a fighting stance... Or something what they believe a fighting stance should look like.
>The pegasus lets his head hang foolishly low and the unicorn doesn't even seem to be interested in increasing the distance between you and him.
>Oh my... How endearing. They really think they have a chance at making a stand against you.
>But as much as you are yearning for a fight right now, you can't let this situation escalate.
>For one thing this fight isn't even remotely evenly matched or fair and you might just accidentally kill those two fools in the process of it and for another thing...
>You really want to keep your job and abode here in Ponyville... Mayor Mare has it in for you.
>So you have to remain calm and play your cards right.
"Believe me or not, but if you don't cease from your actions by the time I counted to three, I will have to resort to force."
>You take single step forwards, repositioning your grip on Gratia to the base of her blade.
>Shortens your reach by a good bit but allows for quick and powerful swipes. Perfect for a constricted face-to-face situation like this.
"One."
>The two stallions back off a bit, sharing a worried look with each other.
>Another step and you slightly raise your arm and tilt it away from you, thus preparing it and yourself for the first swing.
"Two."
>Just a short dash separates you from them now.
>>25884582
"Come on... Don't be stupid now. Just surrender and come with me... If you are lucky you can spend your sentence here in Ponyville and not in Canterlot. Assault isn't that serious of a matter."
>It is... But they don't have to know that.
>You decide to stand still and delay your third and last step to see if they perhaps change their mind.
>And for a moment it looks like they might consider that option. You can almost hear the gears in their heads grinding.
>"You wish!", Bouncer suddenly yells and bolts forward..
>In an instant you react and lunge out, aiming Gratia's blunt top at the charging pegasus's chest.
>That hopefully won't kill him... A few broken bones and the months he will spend drinking his food through a straw you can easily justify.
>Outright death though... Not so much.
>Your muscles tense up and you brace yourself for the imminent impact and the horrifying yet so satisfying sound of forged steel meeting brittle bones.
>The moment you can hear his bone cracking... Hear his desperate screams of pain... See the look in his eyes when he realizes that he made a terrible mistake...
>Man... You can't wait for that.
"How far will I send him flying?", you wonder, your lips forming a thing grin at the thought of this.
>But before your hit can connect and possibly make Bouncer's life a bit more interesting for some time, Sundance's horn brightly flashes up and the two hoodlums abruptly disappear into thin air.
>The momentum of your swing yanks you around, but you quickly poise yourself and prevent your sorry ass from toppling over.
>Shouldering Gratia again, you groan and stare into the faintly green mist that the unicorn's spell left behind.
"Damn...", you angrily state.
>A teleportation spell... Thank god.
>At least one of them had some common sense, it seems.
>"Are... Are they, like, gone?", a voice from besides you whimpers.
>Huh?
That's it already. More in the coming days, so stay tuned.
Hope you like what I write,
>>25884598
Thanks bruv, Merry Crimbo.
>>25885236
>crimbo
CHINK TITS I FORGOT IT AGAIN!
>>25881250
>see pic
Thank you for trying to be helpful twily, but tbqh it's you I want to hug...
>>25885267
Merry Christmas! You'll never fulfill your dreams.
>>25886037
>>25882568
Now that was uncalled for.
>Be Anon
>Enlisted in the guard force
>Tasked with security alongside one of your buddies for a convention in town
>Shining Armor was smiling like a fucking idiot the entire time as you walked through the hall together
>"Dude, I fucking LOVE Hyperspace Hyperwars!" he told you
>Again
"Eleven," you note to yourself
>"What was that?"
"Nothing."
>A mare suddenly came running up to the two of you; crying hysterically.
>"Help! Help!" she cried.
>You stop and turn towards the mare, but Shining Armor was admiring a nearby display.
"What's wrong, miss?"
>"I..." she started. "I've been raped!"
>She broke down crying on the floor
>"Awesome," said Shining Armor
>You turn and glare at him, but noted he wasn't paying attention.
>A slap upside the head fixed that.
>"Ow! What'd you do that for!"
"We got a serious crime here, you fucking nerd. Pay attention."
>"Alright, alright!"
>As you round up everyone nearby and tell them not to move, Shining gets the information you need from the victim.
>"So what did he look like?" asked Shining.
>"Well..." she started. "He was about three feet tall, had acne, wore glasses..."
>"Any identifying marks or colors?" asked Shining.
>"He was in full costume. I couldn't see anything."
>You scan the crowd and noticed that fucking everyone matched that description.
"Jesus Christ."
>Then you nudge your partner.
"Yo. I got an idea."
>You turn to the crowd.
"Who here is NOT a virgin?" you call out.
>Some convention-goer in back raised his hoof in the air.
"You're under arrest."
>Case closed.
>>25886193I still love you man. You'll always be my brother from the PiE chats,faggot.
>>25886037
Joke's on you buddy. I own some shares in Clorox.
Merry Christmas y'all, would've posted this yesterday but I wanted to go over it again first. Spent the day with my family and just got home to give it a once over before posting. So here's some lewd for ya.
>"Anonymous, we wish to speak with you."
"I'd be glad to Princess if I wasn't in the middle of this sweet drag race."
>"You do realize this is a dream correct?"
>The paved road and roaring crowds begin to fade into the abyss as you're left sitting on the ground rather than behind the wheel of a bitchin' firebird.
"I kinda knew that, but was willing to keep suspending my disbelief. We'll settle this next time Hitler!" You shout at the tiny, angry German as he too enters the void.
>Floating upside down while loudly tapping your foot on nothing impatiently, you continue to hold your position despite Luna's best efforts to meet you on equal ground.
>"We're not exactly fond of your attunement with magical forces since developing your relationship with the Draconequus." She states flatly after giving up.
"Her name is Eris and I'll thank you to remember it. Would you rather I not have any control and just cause rampant chaos?"
>"*sigh* We suppose this is the lesser of two evils. Speaking of which, we're not here to talk about Eris."
"So what brings you to my humble brain this night?"
>"It's the element of laughter."
"I could've sworn you said the LESSER of two evils, also her name is Pinkie Pie. I know you have a preference for honorifics but let's keep things casual yeah?"
>"As you wish. It would seem that she's become rather infatuated with you and as such she's been prone to some rather, disturbing... dreams as of late. Most of which involve you."
>It has been a while since you've seen the little pink hellion, but what's wrong with that?
"And what could she possibly dream about to worry the Princess of the night herself?"
>>25887677
>"I'm glad you asked but we are not keen on sharing the details. Needless to say is that most of the dreams are of a sexual nature save for a few that are so brutally deviant that we worry for her mental health."
"So what you're saying is that she just needs to get laid to keep her from losing what few marbles are still rattling around inside her head right?"
>"That's a rather blunt way of putting it, but yes. The sooner the better mind you. For your sake as well as hers."
>Well that wasn't ominous.
"Riiight, what exactly was she dreaming about if you don't mind my asking? I'd like to get a gauge on the direness of her needing The D if you had to come here and ask me to boff her personally."
>Luna develops an uncomfortable glare, like that of a mare who must tell her cake crazed sister that her dreams of a slimmer waist will never come true.
>You can tell she'd rather not remember the things she saw but Luna eventually relents to tell you anyway.
>"Very well then, I'll try to be vague but there were a few instances where she tied you down, carved her name on your chest and rode you to orgasm, another that involved a ferret, hammock and copious amounts of olive oil as well as one case of her wearing your face as a mask whilst talking to herself in a mirror. The worst part of that dream was when she tilted her head so that her reflection stared right back at us." She shudders uncomfortably as the moment plays back in her mind.
"Okay, wow. I'll get right on that your highness."
>"See that you do. But before we take our leave,"
"Yes?"
>"There was one rather persistent and vivid dream in which you, well, pleasured yourself with her snout in a most peculiar way."
>Oh.
>Yeah, that thing.
>Inhaling sharply, you rub the back of your head while Luna gauges your reaction.
>"That actually happened did it not?"
"Yyyeah. Not my proudest moment but I can't exactly say I regretted it since I blew my load that hard."
>"Interesting."
>>25887695
>There's a rather awkward moment of silence as the two of you simply float there in the dreamscape.
"Sooo, was that all? Or?"
>"Yes. Well, no. It's just that seeing that dream so often may have, piqued, our curiosity on the matter."
"What do you mean?"
>"What we are trying to say is that, while we are experienced on the matter of intercourse, it's been a rather LONG time since we last partook. And seeing the way you've handled all those females, it makes us wonder if you'd be willing to help us brush up on current trends."
"I wouldn't call what we did trendy. More of a whim, but who am I to say decline an offer like that?"
>Rotating yourself in the air, you walk over towards Luna and extend your hand to her.
"Wait, are we doing this here and now? Would it even count since this is a dream?"
>"It's real enough for us, though if you'd prefer we can meet you shortly at your home."
"If you'd be so kind, I'd certainly be more than willing to express my gratitude. In bed."
>Placing her hoof in your hand, she returns your shake with a smile.
>"That is the plan Anonymous. Don't worry about getting a bath in before our arrival, that can wait until after~"
>With that she turns around, walking away with exaggerated hip swings before she slips into the darkness and you awaken in your own bed, a snoring Eris floating about the room as if gravity had no effect on her.
>You really should tell her that you plan on ploughing a princess, but her sleeping face is almost too cute to disturb.
"Almost."
>Giving her a quick boop on the snout, she lazily swats at your finger long after you already removed it as you move towards her feet and use them to line her body up with the bed.
>Satisfied with your adjustments, you smile at the sleeping beauty before taking in a large breath of air.
"AND HIS NAME, IS NON CENA!!!"
>>25887703
>Awoken by your shouting, Eris has little time to get a grasp on the situation before you pull her out of the air, onto your shoulders and throw yourselves onto the bed with a textbook Death Valley Driver.
>Recovering from the fall, you return to your feet before belly flopping across her stomach and hooking an arm under her leg as you shout out the count.
"ONE!"
"TWO!"
"THREE! And still the Heavyweight Champion of the bedroom, it's NON CENA!"
>Eris blinks a few times in confusion before looking at you.
>"Did I just get laid?"
"Yeah, laid the fuck out. But in all seriousness though I'll be having a guest over soon and we'll be needing the bed."
>"Oh come on! How could you possibly pick up a mare in your sleep?"
>A tapping sounds out at the window which you quickly move towards.
"That's probably her now."
>Opening the window, a swirling mass of blue smoke enters the room before coalescing into princess Luna herself.
>"Greetings Anonymous, it would appear we've arrived a bit early in our eagerness." She apologizes with a polite bow as she uses her magic to shut the window behind her.
>"MILFs, mailmares and Pinkie are one thing, but bagging a princess? I hope my position isn't being threatened."
>Pulling Eris into a comforting hug, you kiss her on the cheek while she wraps her arms around your mid-section and presses her tits against you as much as she can.
"Relax, you're number one in my heart and that's not likely to change anytime soon."
>"Is she quite alright with this? Perhaps it was wrong of me to ask this of you."
>"Don't sweat it moonbutt, if I had to take all his loving by myself, I'd be bed ridden and bow legged." She says while shooting a hand down your pajama bottoms to fondle the beast.
>>25887712
"That's how it is. So would you prefer she leave us be for the night? If not-"
>You pull down the pair of your boxers that Eris is wearing to reveal her magically created twin of your trouser snake much to Luna's surprise.
>"We thought that was simply part of the pink one's dream. We came here seeking your council Anonymous," Luna takes a moment to measure up the girth before her and mentally double it, "but we suppose a second opinion couldn't hurt."
>"Aww yuss, gettin' laid tonight." Eris raises her hand for a high five which you gladly reciprocate.
"Alrighty then. Time for a warm up, would you kindly join us on the bed your highness?"
>With you and Eris taking either side of the bed, Luna gingerly steps up into the middle but you stop her before she lays down.
"First I'm gonna ask to see what I'm working with." You say as you kick off your pants and start pulling off your underwear.
>Luna obliges and turns herself around while you position yourself under her.
>Inspecting her under carriage reveals a tummy just begging to be rubbed and a pair of modest mounds with stiffening nipples ripe for the suckling.
"Very nice, but I'll need a closer look."
>She lowers her rear towards you to give you a better look at her slit and ponut.
"Closer."
>"Is that quite necessary?"
"Entirely. Closer."
>At this distance you can see the satiny lips of her nethers begin to moisten in anticipation.
>She struggles to hover her hiney just over your face as you move your hands up to spread her midnight blue lips, mottled with black spots open, revealing the fleshy pink inner walls of her sex.
>"Is this enough? Your breath is almost unbearably ticklish."
>She may sound embarrassed, but the heat radiating from within her says otherwise.
>Her meaty clitoris begins twitching as you trace a finger along the rim of her vagina until you catch it between your thumb and forefinger, causing her to shudder in delight.
"Good reaction, now let's see how you taste."
>>25887720
>Moving your mouth up to her nethers, you grab hold of her clitoris with your lips causing her hips to finally buckle as she lets her weight down on your head and buries your face in her muff.
>"Oh my stars, allow me to get up this-"
>Using your hands hold her down, you tilt your head back to get a breath of air and reassure the princess.
"Don't worry, this is what I wanted to do."
>"We aren't too heavy?"
"Believe me, this is perfect. Tender thighs on either side of my head. Soft, juicy lips to snack on and an adorably round ponut that I can tell you take care of hygienically and sexually."
>"How could you possibly tell that?"
>Moistening a couple fingers with her mare juice, you quickly dig them into her anus causing her to moan pleasurably.
"That kind of moan and this kind of elasticity," You say while spreading her with relative ease. "only comes from the kind of pony that appreciates a good ol' fashioned cornholin'."
>Being as tall and lanky as Luna is, when she lays herself along your body as you continue teasing her holes, you're forced to resign yourself to rubbing your length up against her chest fluff.
>"I think it's time I started working on my dissertation then." Eris states as she pulls a chair up to the foot of the bed and uses her cock to tilt the princess' head up.
>"Pucker up princess."
>Luna takes a long probatory lick before she begins to gently suckle on Eris who coos in delight before leaning back to avoid a horn in the gut.
"It really seems like you've got the basics covered your highness." You say after swallowing a mouthful of saliva and berry scented marecum.
>Luna moves to respond but Eris pulls her head back down her length to keep your guest on task.
>Lifting the curvaceous mass off your face and chest, Luna regains her footing and keeps her rear up high while continuing to service your partner in poon pounding.
>Positioning yourself behind her, you easily hilt yourself as her inviting folds greedily grip your girth.
>>25887729
"Ohhohoho yeah..." There's no feeling like being balls deep in pony plot.
>Her hips threaten to give out again, but you get a firm grip around her waist to ease the load.
>There's an audible slap when you fully dip yourself into the princess which causes her to suck almost excruciatingly hard as evidenced by Eris' gritted teeth.
>She's obviously larger than the average pony but that just makes her all the more accommodating when you begin to roughly handle her.
>Fingers digging into her flanks, your intense thrusting is clearly having an effect on Luna as she throws herself back against you for maximum penetration.
>"Oh fuck! Whatever you're doing to her Anon, keep going. She's about to make me..." Eris interrupts herself as she blows her load down Luna's throat who noisily gulps down the hot wad of jizz.
>Eris may be eager but she's still a quick shot compared to you.
>"W-wait, Luna stop."
>Her cry goes unheeded as Luna continues bobbing her head along Eris' dick, keeping the sensitive member erect despite Eris' hips already turning to jelly.
>The air around her horn glows as Eris' erect nipples get teased and twisted by Luna's telekinetic grip.
>Luna's tongue repeatedly undulates while her cheeks occasionally massage either side the tenderized meat pole in her mouth.
>The buxom draconequus leans further back in her chair, her eyes showing a small degree of fear despite the slovenly smile on her face.
>At this point, the only thing keeping Eris from falling backwards completely is the force of suction in Luna's mouth as she continues her oral assault.
>"Gonna. Cum. Again~"
>Eris digs her claws into the chair as her second orgasm in a row begins to rock her body, but the princess releases her hold and allows Eris to fall over while she simultaneously gives herself a facial.
"That. Was fucking astounding." You pause your pistoning to genuinely applaud her performance.
>Luna turns her head back towards you while adjusting her jaw.
>>25887737
>"I may have given some stallions quite a few realistic wet dreams in my time, but it's far more tiring in reality."
"Not as tiring as it was for her." You say while referring to the cum stained chimera on your floor.
>"She's lasted far longer than most, though it's a bit troubling that you yourself are still going strong. Is my body not to your liking?" she asks coyly.
"Believe you me Luna, I'm fully enjoying myself." You say resuming your pace causing her to sigh pleasurably.
"You'll also be happy to take note that I'm not the average stallion."
>"We look forward to it."
>Minutes later finds you repeatedly hilting yourself inside her quivering depths while she breathlessly gasps, hooves weakly digging into the sheets.
>Eris gently fingers and strokes herself while watching you hammer away at the princess' pussy, sweat forming on your brow as you near your limit.
"Inside or out Luna?"
>Her mouth attempts to form the words but you can tell from the pleading look in her eyes exactly where she wants it.
"'attagirl."
>A few deep strokes later and you finally feel the sweet release as you paint her inner walls with cum.
>Collapsing onto the bed, you snuggle up to Luna face to face as you both catch your breaths.
"So was it as good for me as it was for you?" you say jokingly.
>She playfully shoves your chest with a hoof before planting a small kiss on the same spot.
>"If you're feeling thoroughly ravished yet ready for more then I'd certainly say so."
"The insatiable type, eh? I know that feeling."
>"Then maybe she'd like to try getting double dipped huh?" Eris snakes her way into bed behind the princess before nuzzling her head against Luna's.
>>25887744
"From my experience, I'd say we can squeeze in together quite nicely."
>Sliding an arm under the pony princess, you roll her over on top of you while lining yourself up for round two.
>Eris swooces on down to get behind Luna's behind, then helps guide your match made members with the princess' awaiting poon.
>With all the tag team action you and Eris have committed yourselves to, feeling your penis ON your penis has stopped being so weird.
>Mostly.
>The fact that hers even throbs exactly like yours is still a bit surreal.
>Luna hisses slightly as you both proceed to cross her threshold in unison but moans amicably once you've given her time to adapt to the double wide D.
>Eris sets the pace by rocking her hips forward moving both herself and Luna along your shaft.
>Luna returns the favor by sliding back down and hilting you both before Eris pulls out to begin the cycle anew.
>"The two of you work well together." Luna says in praise of your joint efforts to pleasure her.
"Well if you liked that, you'll love this. Eris baby, let's give her the double draconequus dip."
>She moves from straddling your legs into a catcher's stance, while you brace your feet on the bed as Luna watches on in excitement.
>Thrusting in unison, the two of you begin pumping Luna's pussy causing her to cry out passionately.
>Looking over Luna's withers, you watch the hypnotic jiggle of Eris' breasts before she blows you a kiss to top off the eye candy you're eating up.
>Meanwhile, the sex starved pony hooks her forelegs over your shoulders while riding and allows her tongue to hang limply from her mouth as her impassioned moans ring out throughout your house and possibly the surrounding area as the occasional droplets of saliva dot your face and the pillow under your head.
>Your efforts don't go unrewarded as Luna is brought to orgasm and her heated sleeve trembles and quakes around your stiffness.
>>25887757
>But the fun doesn't stop there, you're not close to coming yet and you can tell Eris would like revenge for the strong head game she was subjected to earlier.
>Firmly wrapping your arms around Luna's barrel and wings, Eris digs her claws into those meaty flanks just hard enough to hurt before you both intensify the pounding.
>The bed creaks and squeaks as your combined weight continuously shifts on top of it.
>Louder than that however is the nickering mess of a pony that's currently sandwiched between you both.
>"Can we wrap this up Anon? I can't hold it much longer." Eris says between ragged breaths.
>Even having cum twice already, Eris is still sensitive enough to not outlast you so you gird your loins for love and kick it into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE to finish Luna off once and for all.
>Sinking your teeth into her sternum, Luna moans pitifully as she's once again pushed over the edge while you and Eris begin plastering her insides with your mixed loads.
>Eris topples over Luna's back, defeated, yet satisfied all the same while the princess basks in the afterglow, her chin atop your head allowing you to bury your face against her fuzzy neck.
>"You were quite right Anonymous, we certainly did love that."
"I told you girl, I TOLD you 'bout the Ds."
>"There's still one thing we wish to try."
"Woman you are incorrigible. I like that."
>"The nostril coitus you performed with Pinkie. We'd like to experience it for ourselves."
"Really?"
>"Call it morbid curiosity."
>"Well I'm calling it a night." Eris states while getting up off the bed.
>>25887764
>"Here." She removes her cock before licking the base and sticking it on above yours, before she grabs her blanket and a pillow.
>"A girl's gotta get her beauty sleep." With that she sashays out the door to find somewhere she can rest in peace.
"She's got a point, I'd like to get some sleep and I'm sure you could use some rest too so let's make this the last go alright?"
>"Agreed. Sister will throw a fit if I don't handle the lowering of the moon come morning time."
>Rolling Luna off your body, you move towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube and stretch your back.
>Stroking yourself off to get ready for the final round, you apply a few dabs of lubrication to each of her nostrils.
"I'd recommend breathing through your mouth so you don''t get light headed like Pinkie did."
>"Duly noted." She replies sounding congested from the KY.
>With you sitting on the edge of the bed, Luna lays along the side so she can easily access both of your phalli and keep her horn safely pointed away from you.
>Getting your tips primed and ready to load each of her nostrils, you give her the ok to go before she snorts you a good three quarters of the way down your lengths.
>The familiar odd sensation of tickling nose hairs dance against your skin but not nearly as tightly as they did with Pinkie.
>Which makes sense considering Luna's size.
"So what are your thoughts so far?"
>"Ith thertainly diffwent."
>She moves her head down lower until she's accepted you to both bases.
>"Howeber, your awoma is mosth pweasant. We're tharting to see what Pinkie enjoyed fwom thith."
"While I'm sure that recently used fuck sticks are a popular scent, I'll just take your word for it." you reply as you begin to run a free hand through her mane while the other keeps your tired form propped up.
>>25887771
>As expertly as she blew Eris, Luna starts oscillating her nostrils up and down your girth at a relaxing pace with your hands guidance.
>Confident in her skill, you lean back to give her full reign on speed which she slowly begins picking up.
>It'd be so easy to fall asleep like this, but you feel that'd be rude to Luna so you take the hand closest to her body to run your fingers through her feathers which got more than a little ruffled during intercourse.
>She tenses up initially but then deems your touch gentle enough for preening before continuing service you.
>In this way you soothe one another until a familiar swelling takes place beneath the belt.
>Feeling the expansion of your dongs, Luna moves double time to receive her reward.
>Her slick orifices make loud, wet noises as she continuously inhales your dicks.
>Finally you feel your body turn rigid before you fire off both barrels.
>Luna sputters and chokes for a moment, causing you to lean up and pat her on the back until she regains her composure.
"You okay? Sorry, I should've said something first."
>"It's *cough* quite alright. We were far too absorbed in our task and didn't expect such a healthy load the third time around."
"Just goes to show how good a job you were doing. So was it what you were expecting?" You ask while handing her a box of tissues to blow her nose with.
>"Not the most direct sexual satisfaction we've experienced, but to have one's head full of the scent of their partner is certainly intoxicating. We can see why Pinkie enjoyed it so."
"Kinda like when I made you sit on my face huh? Interesting."
>"You're certain we weren't too heavy? We've enjoyed quite a few holiday treats recently and don't wish to be as, er, well-fed as our sister."
"My head's still the same shape it was before right? Relax, you got a perfect amount of meat on your bones and I'd be happy to save you a seat on the mustache ride anytime."
>"Is that an invitation to come back again someday?"
>>25887781
"I'm pretty good at keeping my schedule open for casual sex so don't be afraid to pop in and say hello." You say while tapping your head.
>"Very well then. We'd love to stay for pillow talk but it will soon be time for the sun to rise so we shall take our leave Anonymous. Good night." She hops off the bed and bows again while you shake your head and bring her in for a hug which she happily returns.
>Opening the window for your new found sex friend, you watch her turn to smoke and shoot off back towards Canterlot as her moon begins to set and the first rays of light appear over the opposite horizon.
>Returning to bed, you inhale the smell of good sex before tucking yourself in and returning to sleep, satisfied but feeling like you've forgotten something important.
>At a baking convention in Baltimare, Pinkie Pie helps a gryphon chef from a neighboring booth she made friends with prepare some meat pies for the days sales.
>"Oh Anon, I hope you'll enjoy my new recipe. It's, to die for."
>Today was a good day, but will there be a tomorrow?
Just noticed the date on my posts. Well it was still Christmas in my cozy lil corner of Texas, night y'all. Let me know what ya thought.
Paste is here; http://pastebin.com/pJMeHgr8
Anyone got a PiE idea?
>>25886363
Not enough Pat stories in existence...
>>25888154
Pony of your choosing seduces and then /ss/es a human kid
>>25887819
Good stuff man, my cock agrees.
>>25888154
X pony can't keep a job because hooves
>>25888463
>Phone rings.
>"Hello~! Thank you for calling Dominos! My name is Pinkie Pie! How may I help you this evening?"
>"Yeah, I'd like a large hand-tossed pizza with pepperoni, sausage, bacon, anchovies, and double cheese."
>"Will this be pick-up or delivery?"
>"Delivery."
>"Will that be cash or card, mister?"
>"Cash."
>"Okee dokee, mister! That'll be $19.34! We'll get it to you in a jiffy!"
>"Yeah, okay. Thanks."
>"You're quite wel-"
>The man hangs up.
>"Oh... To the kitchen~!"
>Pinkie Pie hops back to the kitchen and starts spinning dough.
>She loads the thing up with five times the normal amount of cheese and throws it in the oven for a couple minutes.
>When it's done, she boxes it up and sets it on the counter.
>Pinkie rings a little bell but gets no response.
>Ding.
>Ding.
>Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding.
>Pinkie takes the pizza walks around the counter to spy Rainbow Dash sleeping on a pile of pizza boxes built to resemble a sofa.
>"Dashie! We got a delivery for you."
>Rainbow Dash cracks open her eyes and groans.
>"Ugh... I don't want to work..."
>"The faster you get there the faster you can go back to sleep," tempted Pinkie.
>"Fine..." said Dash as she begrudgingly placed the pizza in a holder on her back and took off outside.
>>25882995
>>25883019
I was not expecting THAT to be the 'doctor's' advice.
Fucking hilarious.
>>25881197
Alright, I'll explain better, since you clowns didn't understand.
>>25879049
What I meant by that is greentexts aren't fucking written like that, they shouldn't be a fanfic with arrows after every sentence.
>dots
>huge lines of details and other unneeded shit
"I'm not saying that this green is bad, it's written poorly in sense of kepping greentext what it is; it just might just be on fimfiction without the arrows and you wouldn't notice the difference", Anon said with a smirk
>"Greens should be easy to read just as they are easy to write they're used to get just the essential stuff that you need to know to understand the story; no huge paragraphs of details are needed for this style, and no one will actually listen to me", says Twilight as she slowly walks away
>Anons just stand there still, not saying a word, like a huge army in front of one man; the setting sun casting their long shadows across the Canterlot Castle; sound of the waterfalls was the only thing that disturbed the silence.
"I'd love to help you out."
>You can't believe that came out of your mouth.
>Cheerilee raised an eyebrow.
>"Really Anon?"
"Of course. You need to go to your father's funeral."
>"Oh my, I don't know what to say."
>Why are you letting this happen?
>"Thank you Anon. Just come by when I dismiss my class today."
>Cheerilee walks away, and does so with a small smile on her face.
>You are Anonymous Meme Gonzales.
>You just agreed to be a substitute teacher for the next week.
"Oh, the things I do for love."
>You sit yourself down on the bench and sigh.
>Are you even good with kids?
"Don't screw this up Anon."
First time doing this kind of thing.
If you want some more just say so.
>>25882524
Did anyone actually read MLMP? I get the feeling I was just writing it for myself and a couple of guys that wanted it finished
>>25888855
No.
>>25888634
>It took only a few minutes to get to the house by air.
>Rainbow Dash landed and kicked the door repeatedly.
>"Yo! Open up! I ain't got all night!"
>A very tall man opened the door and stared down on her.
>"Why are you kicking my door!" he shouts.
>Rainbow Dash takes the pizza out and hands it to him.
>"Here's your stupid pizza. That's $19.34 plus tip."
>The man checks the pizza and flips his shit.
>"I said I wanted like four meats on this! This is just one massive pile of cheese!"
>"Tough beans. Give me my money," demanded Dash.
>"You can kiss my ass, little horse. You ain't gettin' shit."
>As he turns around to go inside and slam the door, Rainbow Dash lunges at him and takes him to the ground.
>Knocking him unconcious with a nearby lamp, she sifts through his wallet and takes what cash he has.
>"Thirty two dollars? Well it's better than nothing."
>She chucks the wallet back at him.
>"Nice girlfriend. Maybe I'll look her up."
>She flies back with her payment and generous 'tip'.
>Throwing twenty dollars at Pinkie to put into the till, Rainbow Dash drops the extra twelve into a rainbow-themed tip jar and sprawls back out across her pizza box bed.
"Wake me up when I get another call," she says.
--
Different direction based on a pic.
>>25869673
Pastebin:http://pastebin.com/cFemKwRW
>After a few moments of her lying there, you start to get concerned.
“Cel? You need help getting up…?”
>Once again, she mumbles something incomprehensible.
>”Alright, I’m coming,” you say, walking towards her.
>Suddenly, two spears block your way.
>What the…
>”Halt!”
>Oh shit
>You forgot about the door guards.
>The two of them look back and forth between you and the princess, both confusion and suspicion evident on their features.
>”Who is this, Anonymous?” One guard jabs their spear at the crumpled up figure on the ground. “The only ponies we let in were you and the princess.”
>The other guard points at you with a hoof. “Did you just call her ‘Cel?’”
>fuckfuckfuck
>Think, brain!
>Of what?
>Anything!
>”’Cel…’ Like, short for ‘Celestia?’”
>The two suddenly go stone still at the first guard’s realization. They look back and forth between you and Celestia, confused as to what is going on.
>”Grass Seed, Windchyme… I would appreciate it if you allowed my advisor to pass.”
>The two guards once again seem to freeze up. Despite her voice being higher, it carries with it the same authoritative tone that is, undoubtedly, Princess Celestia’s.
>When the two don’t move, she cranes her neck to look back at the guards.
>Her eyes narrow ever so slightly. “I hope I do not need to repeat myself.”
>The two jump, taking their positions on either side of the door and allowing you to walk through. You crouch down and help the Princess back to her hooves.
>Despite her being a short little pegasus, you can’t help but be thankful you’re not on the receiving end of her frustration right now.
>At three feet tall, she’s somehow just as scary.
>”Is my makeup smudged, Anon?” she asks, looking up at you.
>You check her face, and upon close inspection, you have to nod.
so where is that chrysalis story at?
>>25889149
>She walks up to the one on the left—Grass Seed, you think it was. She lightly grasps him by the chin, guiding his face down to meet hers.
>”My little pony. Can you tell me who I am? Look at me.”
>His eyes, which had previously been avoiding her gaze, settle back on her at her command.
>”You are Her Majesty, Princess Celestia.”
>You’re surprised he managed to not stutter.
>Celestia smiles. “Right you are. Now, I want you to answer my next question completely and honestly: do you find this situation strange?”
>The guard hesitates. ”No, ma’am.”
>Celestia’s face scrunches up a little. “Hm. Interesting.” She takes her hoof off of Grass Seed’s chin, taking a step back.
>”And what about you, Windchyme? What do you think?”
>There’s a pause. “It is a little… unexpected, Your Majesty.”
>”Unexpected.” She nods. “Thank you for your honesty.”
>She looks back at Grass Seed, who is sweating profusely. “My little pony?”
>”Yes, ma’am?”
>”I’m going to ask again. This time, I want the truth: do you find this to be a strange situation?”
>”I… Yes, ma’am.”
>”Oh? So you’ve changed your answer?”
>”Yes, ma’am.”
>”And why is that? Did you lie to me earlier?”
>The guard stutters. “I j-just wanted to avoid offending—”
>She smiles dangerously. “You will answer me with a ‘yes ma’am,’ ‘no ma’am,’ ‘yes, Your Majesty,’ or ‘no, Your Majesty.’”
>”Yes, Your Majesty.”
>She nods. “Very well.” She takes a few steps back from the two guards, standing an equal distance in front of them both in order to address them.
>”I believe we have learned a very valuable lesson here. You see, the two of you did nothing wrong in performing your job earlier.” She looks at each guard in turn. “In fact, I was pleased with how you handled the situation. As royal guards, it is your duty to regard strange ponies with suspicion.”
>”Yes, ma’am,” they say in unison.
>>25889160
>”However, honesty is also very important. In my opinion, at least. Obedience, and the ability to follow orders down to the very letter, without question, is even more so.” She stares at Grass Seed for a few beats.
>He remains still.
>”Grass Seed, Windchyme?” She looks between the two. “Turn around.”
>The two now look confused. “Your Majesty…?”
>”Are you dishonest /and/ disobedient, Grass Seed?”
>”N-No, ma’—”
>”Then turn around. Both of you.”
>The two give each other questioning looks. Then, with some trepidation, they turn and face the wall behind them.
>”Now turn back around.”
>They obey, going back to their normal positions facing you.
>”Again.”
>”Turn facing the wall, or…?”
>Celestia groans. “That’s the kind of question I would expect from Grass, Windchyme.”
>”I-I’m sorry—”
>”Don’t apologize, just obey your princess!”
>The guards quickly make an about face, despite looking utterly baffled.
>Even you’re confused at this point.
>That is, until you look down and see Celestia with a hoof over her mouth, stifling giggles.
“Are you serious?!” you urgently whisper at her.
>”What?” she whispers back.
“What the hell is this?!”
>”Just roll with it, Anon.”
>”Excuse me, Your Highness?” Grass asks, still facing the wall.
>”I said roll over, Grass Seed.”
>He does as she commands, albeit a bit clumsily due to his armor.
>Over the clinking and clanking of Grass’ armor, Celestia shouts, “Jump up and down, Windchyme! Up and down, let’s go!”
>Windchyme begins jumping. Meanwhile, Grass finally finishes his roll.
>”Did I tell you to stop rolling, maggot?!”
>But Your Majesty—”
>”ROLL!”
>Grass gets to rolling back and forth while Windchyme continues jumping in place.
>>25889173
>By now, Celestia’s broken out into full-blown laughter, lying on her back and kicking her hooves into the air.
>You’d be laughing your ass off too, if you weren’t mortified by the potential consequences of this.
>Seriously, what is she thinking?!
>It doesn’t take long for the guards to notice the little pegasus mare laughing at them
>Red-faced, they cease their self-humiliation, and after a brief moment pick up their spears and begin approaching you two.
>Celestia doesn’t notice over her raucous laughter. You nudge her with your foot
“Cel…”
>”What’s really going on?!” Windchyme demands, slamming his spear into the ground in order to emphasize his point.
>Celestia jumps to her hooves. “Anon, cover your ears.”
“What?”
>”Just do it!”
>You cover your ears with your hands. It’s not soundproof, but you think it’s muffled enough. For whatever she’s planning.
>The two guards stop in front of her, spears pointed and at the ready. They’re shouting; that much you can hear.
>Celestia says something. Then, her mouth opens wide, and you can faintly hear her voice.
>Windchyme and Grass Seed suddenly stop yelling. Their eyes become dull, and they drop their spears.
>Now that they’re no longer shouting, you can hear Celestia more clearly. A lilting tune becomes recognizable.
>Despite having your ears covered, her voice becomes sharper, more distinct. Her song echoes in your ears, cutting off any thoughts and becoming the only thing you can focus on.
>It seems to get into your very head, her muffled voice clouding your mind. The verses repeat themselves and overlap, like multiple choruses all competing at once to make themselves heard.
>A sensation of vertigo begins to overtake you.
>You press your palms tighter against the sides of your head, blocking out the sound a bit more effectively. The dizziness begins to fade, and it becomes a bit easier to think.
>>25889189
>You blink a few times, refocusing your vision. You turn your attention back to the scene at hand, suddenly very interested on what transgressed while you were being hypnotized or whatever.
>Celestia is still singing. By now, the two guards in front of her have been reduced to swaying, drooling messes; they look as if they’ve had a bit too much to drink.
>She stops singing. She stares at them for a moment, and then proceeds to push Windchyme over onto his side.
>He hits the ground with a -thud-. Without any prompting, Grass Seed’s forelegs give out a few seconds later, causing him to face-plant into the royal carpeting.
>Ouch. You reckon that’s gonna cause some serious rugburn.
>Surprisingly, neither of them wake up.Gonna try to bang out a few more posts here, then it's off to bed with me.
By the way, critique is welcome. I love the comments and praise I get, even if it's just one or two posts, but there's always something I can improve on as a writer. Let me know if there's anything I should/shouldn't be doing.
And merry Christmas everyone!
>>25889225
>something I can improve on as a writer
>>25888855
>>25888855
>What I meant by that is greentexts aren't fucking written like that, they shouldn't be a fanfic with arrows after every sentence.
You must not have been here long.
Yes, greentext is supposed to a simplistic style of writing but after a while, AiE decided they'd much rather more detail in their fics so now we've got something that's pretty much prose in greentext form.
I don't see how it being written either way matters. As long as it's understandable, who cares.
You're being too particular about how they want their tiny horse stories.
>>25882069
Holy shit. You're my new hero.
>>25888855
>>25889289
Original work in the threads were assuredly written like that, but overtime the writers had gone on and started to improve their work, or the threads attracted writers that wanted more work in their own stories over the simpler writing that traditional greentext offers. It's just how our threads have evolved over the course of its three years plus of existence.
I'm unclear why this is supposed to be a bad thing. The stories in these threads are written in a multitude of ways. You are, in fact, the very first person that I've seen in these threads to ever make this complaint. So what if someone decides to write more detailed work or show off more than what is needed for the story to work?
Traditional greentext is okay for some fun oneshots, much like here >>25882377 That shit is fun and is very much traditional greentext. And for certain stories, they can get away with quick writings like that. But for a lot of the longer written stories, writefags abandon this to certain degrees that vary from Anon to Anon so they can write more detailed works. Our threads have always been okay with this and, once more, you are the first person I've seen making this complaint at all.
Side note: Quite a few writers here do eventually port their work over to FimFic, while also cleaning up from what I've seen. I think there's still a group for Anon stories over there as well. And no, most writefags originate from here, not that site if you are wondering.
>>25889334
I remember one of the first stories to really try and do more lengthy story writing I read was Shermanators. Yeah, it still came off like traditional greentext on what I remember of it, but it went above and beyond what was needed. Him and other writers at that time like Aether obviously paved the road for future writers to take their place.
>>25888855
>>25888932
I prefer both styles of green really.
One is better for long stories, and one is better for short stories, but somewhere around 400-600 threads ago, AiE went up its own ass and chased the traditional green text people away, or made them adopt the "I need to be able to post this on fimfic later" style.
>>25889334
Issue is, and I honestly believe that a subsect of grammar nazis was here a while ago, not really going full grammar but doing little things to slowly change how the storied were written.
>>25889225Last post for tonight
>You judge it safe to uncover your ears now.
>You walk up next to the innocent-looking mare
“Holy shit.”
>You take a moment to appreciate the carnage she’s wrought
>Two royal guards, both passed out
>one with his eyes still open.
>”I’m sorry it had to be this way…”
>Celestia shakes her head.
>”...but I really didn’t want to have to take off my dress.”
>wat.png
“Seriously?”
>She nods. “If I changed back into my alicorn form before I walked out of here, all that prepping would have been for nothing. You know how long that took, Anon?”
“Of course I know how long that took, but—”
>You take another look at Grass Seed, who’s creating a puddle of drool around his face.
“—goddamn, you could’ve given them brain damage or something!”
>”Not likely. I’ve performed this spell many times before, often on the same pony multiple times. No adverse side effects have been observed, so far.”
“Really? Because I got maybe a fraction of what they must’ve felt, and I thought I was listening to Twilight’s shower singing again.”
>She shoots you a surprised look.
>”You heard? You were supposed to be covering your ears...”
>You shake your head
“I would’ve sealed them with cement if I knew you were gonna do /that/! I can’t believe you think it’s okay to do that to somepony—especially your own subjects.”
>Her ears flatten against her head, and her formerly impish smile droops.
>”I-I’m sorry, Anon. I didn’t… You weren’t supposed to—”
“And to add to that,” you say, placing your hands on your hips, “what the hell was that with making the guards do stupid shit?”
>”Hee hee…”
>You don’t think that last statement had the desired effect.
>She’s giggling again, obviously at the memory of her two door guards making fools of themselves.
>”It was funny though, wasn’t it?”
>>25889289
>>25889334
I'm getting the idea that no one minds either much
>>25889355
>>25889373
And you two are the only people who actually have gone and said something other than "fuck you go away newfag" and "if you don't like it don't read it".
I was genuinely interested in learning different styles of green, and was a writer on some fanfiction sites of the MLP fandom, while posting on 4chan since 2009.
Thanks for the explanation.
>>25883019
Truly the wisdom of Solomon in action.
When in doubt, cut it in half.
>>25888154
Pony is on Earth but is being chased by a flock of angry geese.
>>25889407
I'm not sure if the people are still around, but if they only complain about capital letters and how commas are used, look at your shit but realize there's a good chance they didn't read a god damn thing you wrote.
>>25888891
Sure Pepe
>>25889225
>>25889405
So, first off, is Celestia acting that way because she is a pegasus now? I can't imagine Celestia ordering her ponies like that just because she thought it was funny or for entertainment. But maybe the original mindset of her past self? That would be interesting if so.
I'm assuming now that you're going to have other forms of magic spelling, as shown by Celestia's singing. For me, I'd have that as old magic that died out or was never really generally known to others. It would help explain how she can re-ascend, at least.
Luna's previous worry was clear, so I would imagine she would have certain trusted ponies keeping an eye on them in the background, or something from her to keep an eye on her sister. Plus, how the hell is she handling this? With Celestia gone, that leaves Luna as the one needing to sit on the throne during that day. How did Celestia get her to agree to doing that? Or is it just going to be empty?
I wish you would be more detailed with how that spell worked. Seemed like an opportunity to show insight to how the ascension thing works and possibly how it started in the first place. So someone had ascended Celestia herself. Or maybe she created the process by herself, or with Luna?
And with this being something at the forefront of things, wouldn't Anon get somewhat curious about the alicorns in general? Why just recently ascend not oneCadancebut twoTwilightponies in recent years to that? If it's possible, why are we not hearing of other alicorns from the past? Had she really been keeping the ascension spell to herself for over a thousand years? Has she been hiding past alicorns from the history books? Or are they in hiding themselves for multiple reasons? Would they come out of it if that were true if a de-ascension was possible?
You have a lot of promise in your story with this idea of ascension, curious where you go with it.
>>25888891
Anon, the cowardly human show!
But seriously, that's little to really get hooked into for more. Write something with substance that people can really get into if you wouldn't mind.
>>25889407
Your posts didn't come off as curious, just rustled by different writing.
>>25889557
There's probably a 99% chance that nobody in this thread actually read what I wrote here.Posted the whole story just to bump the fucking thread, dammit
>>25889768
That's my German side showing.
>>25890066
>There's probably a 99% chance that nobody in this thread actually read what I wrote here
>>25888154
Slice of life. Poni visits supermarket and sees throngs of people buying stuff for elaborate Xmas dinners, and comes to the understanding that this is not so different.
>>25888154
Pony gets into an argument with an ATM. Anon attempts to help only to realize the pony in question is a fucking moron.
>>25891291
>"Anonymous! This machine just called me an asshole!"
Thanks for the goodies yo.
You're only like a two hour drive from where I used to live too. Neat.
>>25891890
>Gut und Günstig Stollen
>>25893129
Fukken saved.
Good night.
>>25893129
Eh, I like them
>>25889405
Confirmed: Celestia isJigglypuff.
>>25892843
asked a few threads back if anyone had a recent chrysalis story, got told someone was making something for christmas, wondering where it is.
>>25882061
>>25882069
>>25893524
But... I just noticed... Milka Orea comes now in an even better version? Shiiieeet mang. Gotta buy that on monday.
>>25895127
it's like a pound too
>>25895601
So its one of the big bars? Nice... My heart is not going to thank you for giving me this bit of information, but I will. Thanks. I fucking love Oreo Milka.
>>25888855
You are upset that people put more time and effort into a story instead of going with the barebones. I thought you were upset about when the arrows should appear, like an arrow a paragraph, or some such.
This sounds a lot more like "I don't like what you like" - are you seriously saying that stories that don't follow short line detail shouldn't be here, like at all? That's really line-drawy of you, and honestly, wrong.
Most people go from greentext to greenprose as a stage of advancement, maybe sticking to greentext for comedy effects. Greenprose 4 lyfe.
>>25896169
It was bait or just a retarded sperg spergulating.
>>25896169
Yeah! Greenprose for life!
>>25896193
Tastes gud.
>>25896277
yum
>>25895615
never had one.
>>25888379
>this
>>25897932
/ss/ is one of the best fetishes there is, second only to bestiality
>>25897977
be/ss/tiality?
>>25898033
Wouldn't really work
A dog wouldn't exactly just go and seduce a kid
And if the dog's sapient, then it's not really bestiality anymore
>>25898068
You need a better dog trainer, Anon.
>>25898068
Isn't that kind of like saying that Captain Kirk wasn't actually boinking alien babes because they were human-shaped but with green skin?
>>25898142
Not at all.
If they're sapient it's xenophilia rather than zoophilia/bestiality.
>>25898156
Now you're just cutting bunnies.
>>25898124
Well, I suppose a dog in heat near a sexually confused kid might make one thing lead to another, and it'd be hot, but that still doesn't have the same connotations that /ss/ does
>>25898142
What >>25898156 said, basically
Boinking something that can talk isn't comparable to boinking a dog
>>25898179
No, that's a whole other fetish entirely.
Actually a bunny cutting fetish might be cool for a story.
>Anon innaquestria
>Flutterrape go
>Flutters discovers bunny cutting fetish
>Asks her animal friends for help
>Angel does not want to be an emo
>Much indecision
>Anon wants to see incision
>>25897977
You know, this is one fetish I haven't much touched on In my writing. Probably should change that.
>>25898245
>flutterrape
there's a thread for that
>>25898275
Right you are.
>Day Fluttershy in Equestria
>You are Fluttershy
>Someone's knocking on your door
>You sidestep around the yellow pony
"Is role reversal your fetish?"
>A gentle push and the pony is inside your house
>"Is teat tw- what? No it's not."
>You close and lock the door and then walk away, leaving the confused pony trapped in your house.
>>25898357
Durnk, this is not the place. There is a thread called Flutterrape, and you can go find it now and post your flutterrape stories there.
o wait I recognize that one goddamnit
here with a tiny dump
Advice Anon contd.
>You be Anon
>What the fuck should you do?
>This guy just asked you for help about a ritual that involves him beating up his dad and fucking his mom
>You want to pack up, go back inside your house, and just get completely and utterly wasted in order to forget that this "Stallion Ritual" even existed.
>But you can't.
>This guy just gave you his money so that you would help him out, and you're certainly no Jew.
>Besides, you feel kinda sorry for him.
>If he wants to have a normal life, he has to go through with this
>You don't think you could've survived a serious fight with your dad when you were a teenager.
"Umm... Can you give me a second?"
>"Okay. But you will help me, right?"
>You don't know what to say.
>Aaaand damn. A crowd has gathered.
>As you hold your head in your hands, trying to figure out how not to fuck this situation up, you listen in on some of the whispers in your audience.
>"He might help a pony out with The Ritual."
>"He'd better help."
>"Has he ever done it himself?"
>"No."
>"How's he gonna know how to help? He doesn't even know how it works..."
>"It says on his sign that he's giving advice."
>"And that he's a PhD! I wonder what that is?"
>"Shut up Lyra, I didn't come here to listen to your stupid-"
>"Oooh! Maybe he knows some sort of trick to getting more humans to appear..."
>"...*sigh*... Lyra, I seriously want to strangle you sometimes."
>Well then.
"You know what? I'll help you out right now."
>You didn't like your breakfast this morning anyways.
>>25898574
>Aaaaand awkward silence.
>All of the pones just sit there waiting forthe world to changesomething to happen.
>Well, you were hoping you wouldn't have to use this
>FULL AUTISM, GO!
"You know what?"
>"What?"
"There's a saying that my people, the Humans, have for situations like this."
"Some of the most legendary feats of Human achievement happened right after this saying was heard."
>"And what's that, sir?"
>assume Shia Labeouf stance
"JUST DO IT!"
>>25898588
That's all.
http://pastebin.com/SYDYhzdt
gonna finish this in a second
Back in July, I wrote a story called Games Lords Play. Not to toot my own horn, but it was pretty damn good up until the end where I royally fucked up. I have no talent with endings, so this really hurt the rest of the comparatively good story. Since then, it's been haunting me. I decided to take a stab at it again and rewrite the ending. For reference, this is the very last scene of the story after Anon's late night session with Luna.
>You wake up feeling less refreshed than you would have preferred, but that’s to be expected when half of your three hour night was spent in some dreamy wrinkle in time.
>You sit up and stretch, letting out a yawn that shakes your whole body.
>Standing up, you go to your closet and head to the closet for today’s attire.
>You pick out your best suit for this very special day.
>The whole thing is pitch black.
>You want to seem strong today. You want to seem powerful.
>Red is a powerful color, but you wouldn’t be caught dead in a red suit. That’s just a little too cliche for the devil role.
>White may have worked too. It could have been symbolic of the new life ahead of you. You know, a blank canvas sort of thing. It is a little too new-wave for your taste, though.
>Black though, has a clear, crisp feeling and a sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives your appearance a big boost.
>You head to the mirror and give yourself a once-over.
>>25898707
>You’re very monochromatic today. The grey hairs that cover your head, those which you stopped counting years ago out of fear and disgust, actually match your suit quite nicely.
“Cerberus,” you call out.
>Seconds pass by.
>Soon enough, the door to your chamber creaks open, and your small blue friend pokes his head in.
>”Morning, my lord,” he says with a bow.
“And what a fine one it is. Tell me, is everything ready for my departure?”
>Cerberus nods vigorously, his tongue flopping out of his mouth.
>”Yes! Little bug friends say Luna is good.”
“And what of Twilight? Did our friends in the north pull through?”
>He nods again.
>”Caribou king was be dead by mysterious causes. Sons all am wanting crown and fight, so Twilight is go and solving it.”
“And my carriage?”
>”Ready.”
>You waltz over and rub his head.
>You know what? It’s a good day.
>Going the extra mile, you snake your hand down behind his ears and give the area a light scratching.
>His eyes practically roll back in his head, and you can head his leg thumping on the ground behind him.
“You are such a good boy.”
>”Y-yeah, right there...oh yeah.”
>When you take your hand away, a slight whimper escapes his lips.
>He looks at you with puppydog eyes, trying to coax you back to scratching him.
>You merely laugh and step by him.
>Upon reaching the front door, you stop and turn around to take in your home one last time.
>It all comes back to you. All these years, right from your very first step in these halls to this second.
>Your first meeting with Cerberus.
>Your first ball.
>All your dark dealings.
>Oh, the webs you wove.
>It almost brings a tear to your eye.
>>25898719
“Cerberus, I have one more task for you,” you say to the diamond dog standing a few feet away.
>Kneeling down, you place a hand on his shoulder and smile. A real smile, for once.
“I need you to be the best boy you can be. This is your house now, alright?”
>”My lord?”
“Thank you for all your years of loyalty. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you helping me every step of the way. You’re the best diamond dog a man could ask for. You know I’m going to be gone for a while, so I want you to have this house.”
>He stares at you, visibly trying to absorb all the information you just spat out at him.
>After a bit, it looks like he finally got it.
>The dog’s eyes begin to water, and tears flow freely from them.
>He lunges forward and wraps those huge meaty paws around you.
>Cerberus cries into your jacket, and though a small part of you wants to dash his brains against the wall for that, you suppress the urge.
>This is his moment. Let him have it.
>”Th-thank you, my lord. These years with you was the best in my living.”
>Much to his dismay, you have to break the hug.
>You have a schedule to keep. Time to go, Anon.
>You exit your home in the Doggish Isles one more time and head to the beautiful carriage parked in front.
>You’re Equestria bound.
>Your ride there is quiet, save for the sound of your own breathing or creaking wood as you run over bumps.
>You wonder what she’ll look like.
>Will she be strong and tall like usual? With her mane flowing in some imaginary breeze like an otherworldly flag displaying her might?
>Will she be slumped over and depressed, moaning and groaning about the pitiful state of things?
>After far too long, you arrive at the grand castle of Canterlot.
>>25898729
>The sun has just begun to set when you finally exit your carriage and enter the structure.
>How many times have you walked this path?
>How many of them were you being escorted by guards?
>The answer is too high to count for both those questions.
>Your mouth does curl up slightly at the memories though.
>As you reach the door to the throne room, you steel yourself for whatever may happen.
>There are several guards surrounding the gilded entrance. They all look upon you with their emerald eyes and nod knowingly before stepping aside.
>Throwing open the doors, you stroll inside with an artificial hop in your step.
>Lo and behold, there she is.
>Celestia sits at the end of the room, on the top of the stairs, nestled in her throne.
>She’s slumped over in the thing, and although he mane does in fact wave, it is very slow.
>It a dying flame at forty eight frames per second.
“Celestia,” you shout across the room.
>Her ears droop at your voice. How rude.
“How’s my favorite girl doing today?”
>You saunter through the room, waiting for a response you never get.
>As the distance between you two closes, you can see how rough she looks.
>Her eyes are sunken in with the fur around them matted. They’re red and puffy like she’s been crying.
>Those luscious locks of hers are not uniform in their flow. There are random strands of hair that stick out and maneuver in their own manner, perverting the beauty of her mane.
>>25898737
“Oh, come now. Surely you have something to say to me.”
>Celestia’s magenta orbs slowly lock onto your position.
>”What do you want with me now?” she asks in a whisper.
“What do I want? What, I can’t just stop by and chat with a friend?”
>”Friend? You’re no friend. You’ve taken everything from me.”
“Hey, at least Twilight is probably still alive.”
>Her face wrinkles in confusion.
>”What do you mean?”
“I mean unless the caribou haven’t slaughtered her for interfering in their personal lives yet, you still have one ex-friend who still has a pulse.”
>”What are you talking about?”
>Worry sounds in her voice.
“Well let’s see. You used to be friends with Chrysalis. I caved her skull in with a jar of tomato sauce. Luna was your sister, and now her cold body lies at the bottom of a river by a small red house. I used to be your friend, but I sold my heart a long time ago. Wow, being your friend is really dangerous, huh?”
>She rises from her throne, her eyes as large as dinner plates.
>”What did you do to Luna? What did you do to my sister?”
“I mean, I didn’t do anything directly. I had my changelings take her away in the night and dispose of her.”
>”You mean she’s…”
“Dead. Yes, Princess Luna is dead. Let that sink in.”
>Her breathing becomes ragged. The once mighty princess can’t support herself anymore, and her legs crumble beneath her.
“Your favorite student hates you. Your oldest and dearest friend, the nigh invincible Luna, is dead. Your country thinks you’re a monster. What do you even have left? You have the sun, the moon, and this ugly little throne.”
>She weeps, or rather, makes the sound of weeping. Her eyes themselves are dry. She probably cried herself out before you got here.
“Actually, scratch that. I think I’ll take your throne too.”
>>25898749
>Her reply, fixed to account for the sobs and breaks that would make writing it all out more tedious than anything else, is as follows:
>”I won’t let you have this throne. You may have taken everything else from me, but I have a duty. I won’t let my land fall into your hands, you monster.”
“Monster? You wound me.”
>”You...know nothing of pain.”
>She wipes her eyes, regaining a bit more of that regal composure.
>You shrug.
“Perhaps not, but then, you know nothing of finality.”
>”W-what are you going on about?”
“Don’t play coy with me. In our years together, I learned a lot about you. About how perfect and godly you really are. You’re not some pretend god like your sister; you really are immortal. Your magical well is practically bottomless. As long as you live, your reign will never end. Everything about you is eternal. You don’t know anything about what it’s like to see an end. You don’t know what it means to have everything crumble around you! At least...you didn’t.”
>”Is that what this is all about? You wanted to teach me about finality?”
“Are you daft? No, even I’m not that petty. I don’t want to teach you about the end, I want to make sure I survive my own.”
>You gesture to the stained glass window behind her.
>She turns around just in time to see it shattered to pieces by a burst of green energy.
>The usually blue sky is as black as your suit with all the changelings buzzing in the air.
“You’re going to give me that throne or I’ll take it by force. Either way, I’m going to be king of this god forsaken country, and my name will echo through the ages. I may die, but like Caesar, I will never be forgotten. That’s how I’ll escape my finality, Celestia.”
>>25898758
>”A-anon?”
>Funny, Celestia didn’t even move her mouth when she said that.
>She also sounded completely different. A little higher pitched, maybe more nerdy.
>There was less sadness in her voice and more of that “oh my god my world is destroyed” vibe.
>Wait a minute…
>Replay that.
>”A-anon?”
>That voice…
>No. No no no no no.
>No, it can’t be.
>Cerberus said...you were sure of it!
>You slowly turn from Celestia to the front of the room.
>The door to the throne room is wide open. Your implanted changeling guards lie unconscious at the hooves of the lavender princess.
>Twilight Sparkle.
“Twilight...what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be up north.”
>”I decided on the way there that foreign affairs were beyond me, so I came to see Celestia and ask for her advice as well as apologize. What...what is going on here?”
>Wow, life.
>Worn a guy before you bend him over and fuck him in the asshole.
>You didn’t plan on two alicorns.
>You orchestrated regicide to get Twilight out of the country, for fucks sake.
>”You wanted to apologize?” Celestia asks.
>What?
>No, don’t change the subject!
>”Yes. I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you. I know you have a reason for everything. I shouldn’t have been so judgemental.”
>You’re right here! You’re taking over the country!
>You’re the center of attention!
>”That means so much to me, Twilight. Thank you.”
“Enough! I will not be upstaged during my own takeover!”
>You wave your hand, bringing thousands of changelings into the throne room.
“Two alicorns? So what! I can take you! I can take you all! This is my time! My takeover! My legacy to be made!”
>>25898772
>You shout into a void, black and so loud it may as well be soundless.
>Changelings buzz by you.
>Their wing beats for an unholy symphony.
>Their hoofbeats drown out what must be Twilight and Celestia screaming for their lives.
>Well, except for Celestia.
>She’s got that whole immortal thing going on.
>Then, in a golden flash of light, bright as the sun itself, every changeling in the room was gone.
>Celestia stands tall before you, her mane waving with fervor now.
>A teleportation spell directed at your changelings.
>Well! She may have quality on her side, but you have quantity.
>You motion again, bringing even more changelings than the last time into the room.
>Just as quickly as they appeared, they’re gone.
>You growl and raise your hand again, but it is enveloped by a soft purple glow that keeps you from moving it an inch.
“Twilight!”
>”Stop it, Anon! You’re going too far!” she exclaims.
“Too far? Look who’s talking! You’re an alicorn now too! You’re going to live on just like Luna did! Just like Celestia always will!”
>Speaking of the princess of the sun, she decides to throw in her two cents as well.
>”Anonymous, when you first came to Equestria, I sensed great potential in you. Potential for something. I thought that you would grow into a being of great kindness and love...but I was wrong. You chose to view the world as a collection of ends rather than beginnings. Because of this, you allowed your heart to fill itself with evil.”
“Oh don’t you fucking lecture me!”
>Her horn glows, and within the purple aura, your pitch ring shines like gold.
>It’s lifted off your finger.
>She hovers the thing in front of your face, and with no effort on her part, crushes it into dust.
>”Anon, I’m sorry it has to be this way,” Twilight says, “But the lies you told me...to everyone, they have to stop. You’ve lost.”
>No.
>>25898781
>”Don’t worry, Anonymous, I won’t execute you for killing my sister. I’ll let you live on. You’ll get to spend the rest of your life rotting in the bowels of the Canterlot dungeon. I’ll even afford you the best medical care Canterlot can offer. Just think of the long, healthy, and meaningless life you’ll live from now on. All the things you’ll never accomplish. Isn’t it wonderful?”
>No.
>”Anon, please. Could you...are you at least sorry? Do you feel any remorse?”
>No.
>Your plan...in less than five minutes, the last ten years of your life turned to dust.
>Your entire future is gone.
>Everything you aspired to be...everything you had in mind for yourself…
>”Do you have anything to say for yourself, Anonymous?”
>These two alicorns.
>These two physical examples of eternity.
>You hate the finality of the world and how everything has an end.
>You hate eternity and everything that refuses to just fucking die like everything else is doomed to.
>Most of all, you hate them.
>You hate these two mares who have rendered your entire existence meaningless.
>They think they’ll have the last laugh.
>That you’ll just roll over and let them win like this.
>That you’re a joke!
>That you struggled all this time, but now for them you’re going to do nothing!
>No!
>”You could have lived a peaceful life. It may not have been so grand, but you would have lived on in the hearts of those who cared about you. Instead, you sought power. You let greed and hate consume you. Now in your rush to be remembered, you’ll be forgotten.”
>Right then, it hits you like a ton of bricks.
>She’s right.
>Celestia is 100% right.
>You don’t need to live out this grandiose life to be remembered by all.
>As long as you live in someone’s heart, you’ll last.
>Whose heart is better to live in than an immortal’s?
>A smile spreads across your face.
>>25898792
>”Did I say something funny?”
>You hate her, and now…
>You pull a dagger out from your jacket.
“Hate me, Celestia. Hate me for all eternity.”
>You slash at her, cutting across her eyes.
>She screams and reels back.
>At the same time, the energy around your hand releases.
>”Celestia!”
>Twilight comes rushing to her side.
“Not so fast!”
>You grab her by the mane and yank hard, pulling her over onto her back.
>Her legs kick helplessly in the air as you hold her head down.
>The dagger shines high above your head.
>You can see it in Twilight’s eyes, as well as your own black reflection.
>You plunge it deep into the young alicorn’s chest, taking from her the false eternal life her sister aimed to live.
>You can practically feel the fear bleeding out of her along with the actual blood.
>Yes, that’s it. Let it sink in.
>This is the end, Twilight.
>Everything she is is over.
>Every plan she had for the future, everything she ever wanted...gone.
>The final look in her eyes is priceless.
>Eventually, her strength fades and the kicks cease.
>The sound of armored hooves on tile fills the room as Celestia, blind as a bat, feels around the floor for Twilight.
>She’s sobbing again. Her eyes are no longer dry; blood spills from them like tiny rivers.
>”Guards,” she shouts, “Arrest this man!”
>>25898803
>The ponies grab you roughly, but you don’t fight them.
>It’s not like it’s within your abilities anyway.
>You’re a decrepit old man.
>Besides, you won.
>You’ve taken everything you possibly can from Celestia.
>Her sister, he prized student...
>Anyone she could feel close to, anyone to share eternity with, is dead.
>Even her sight is gone now.
>She’s going to remember you.
>Her heart will be heavy with hate.
>So long as she may live, your memory will survive.
>You’ve finally secured your own version of immortality.
>The blind princess hugs her lifeless student, crying into her chest, getting her face all bloody in the process.
>You’re dragged off to the dungeons with a smile.
And that's the end (again). Thoughts, anyone? Is this better than the last one? I feel like the last one was too open-ended in a story where the finale should have been more final, for lack of a better word. This one feels more complete, like it does the characters more justice in some sick way.
For those who either haven't read the whole story and want to do so or wish to re-read it, you can find the full text right here http://pastebin.com/CzAxmMzp
As always, thanks for reading. Happy holidays.
>>25898837
Definitely, much better that the other one, I would like to see a continuation about it, but, why beat an already dead horse, now that it died like it deserve it,
>>25898837
this ending definitely feels better, maybe somewhat edgier, but then again it goes with the theme of the story so it fits quite nicely, all in all a "good" ending
also,glad to see you are still alive, last time i saw you was in the /war/ thread, feels like a while ago
>>25898962I was writing for a vampire general until that died out. It really has been a while since any /war/ threads though, hasn't it?
I was so close to finishing Advice Anon, and then an inconvenient backspace or two at the wrong time fucked it all up. Gonna be a bit longer.
>>25891890
Glad you liked it.
>>25893129
It is small enough to fit my 1 kilo weight limit and Gut and Günstig stollen is better than the stollen you can buy at American stores.
>>25898837
Well, you managed to make my heart beat harder and faster than usual, which doesn't happen very often, much less with a redo of the ending of a greentext I read half a year ago
So that's somethingActually, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure all of your stories that I've read have managed to elicit that sort of response from meYou're just damn good at making me feel what Anon feels
Here's some brand new Advice Anon, guys.
>"I'm sorry sir, but-"
"Don't let your dreams be dreams."
>"Uh-uh-uuum that's really inspirational and all bu-"
"Yesterday, you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT!"
>"I-"
"MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! JUST... DO IT!"
>"Okay, sir, I get it, I should-"
"Some people dream of success, while YOU'RE GONNA WORK HARD AT IT! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!"
>"Thank you sir. I'll remember that."
>And then he dashed off.
>But you weren't done.
>You still had an audience...
"You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, but YOU'RE NOT GONNA STOP THERE! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?"
"... DO IT! JUST... DO IT! YES YOU CAN! JUST DO IT!"
>Your audience is now on the edge of their butts.
"If you're tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP."
>le Shia Squat
>You then bugger off to your house as the pones all gallop off and do pone things.
>>25899267
>Two weeks later
>The former town of Ponyville has grown to an enormous Metropolis
>It's comparable to Manehattan
>Applejack didn't like the change.
>It turns out that there were millions of (somehow edible) diamond pears buried deep beneath the city which had been rumored to be there for centuries.
>Nopony knows why they were there, but there wasn't any question that they should be sold to ponies all around the world.
>Local merchants have been making quite a lot of coin off of that.
>The pony you heard being referred to as Lyra became the first in the entire world to be a specialized Doctor for Humans
>So far, you're her only patient (and you hope it stays that way).
>And as it turns out, her friend, called BonBon, is now a very famous candy-maker.
>BonBon's Classic Shop is one of your favorite places to visit in the brand new Downtown Ponyville.
>Betapone ended up beating his dad senseless in two seconds flat (which was a world record), and then proceeded to fuck his mom so well that her vagina was numb for a week.
>Upon hearing the second part of that, you promptly proceeded to violently vomit out your own internal organs.
>Princess Twilight Sparkle is making a new discovery about the Magic of Friendship every fucking week, it seems.
>Each one is discovered as "Ground-Breaking" and "Extremely Important."
>Her Letters to Celestia are on National TV before even Celestia herself gets them.
>Also, there's a statue of you in the center of town.
>Has some of your famous words of motivation scrawled on a plaque at its base.
>But you know that those aren't your words.
>And at the end of all this, you got a new office downtown.
>It's kinda cute, with a nice big window and everything.
>On the window, are the words,
"Proffesional Help and Advice, 5 bits per problem,"
"Dr. Anon, PhD."
>>25899293
m'kay that's done. pastebin link below:
http://pastebin.com/F85pYMVu
Comment, Like, and Subscribe
>>25899307
Oh wait woops I fukked up real pastebin link is right here: http://pastebin.com/bbWU9ZqA
like I said, comment like and subscribe for moar
>>25896193
Mostly bait, but I was actually interested in what you guys had to say.
>>25897977
>second only to bestiality
Bestiality is fucking garbage outside of fiction art and stories.
Although I really do love boys with older women mostly because I have a larger woman (not macro/micro or obese) fetish.
>>25899445
Confirmed never actually done it in real life
>>25899445
I used to think so too, but this place has changed me. If it were not for the legal repercussions I'd go try it. Hell, if I could afford it I'd buy a farm and keep a couple of mares that were tall enough to fuck without a bucket.
>>25899665
>legal repercussions
Like anyone's going to find out anyway
I've been sucking off my cat for years and I haven't had any cops at my door
![large[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/fCh8CT5.jpg "large[1].jpg")
>>25899676
Ill take things I never wanted to read for $1000 Alex.
>>25899676
Why won't you fuck off and take your fart buddy with you.
![754777__safe_pinkie+pie_gypsy+pie_artist-colon-miki+14[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/3h3SuZ1.jpg "754777__safe_pinkie+pie_gypsy+pie_artist-colon-miki+14[1].jpg")
These threads need more ponk
>>25898837
Personally, the only problem I had with the other ending was what happened after the changelings broke in. Anon's death was too abrupt and it happened in a way that broke my suspension of belief. It left too many things hanging.
I actually ruminated about a different ending for days after you finished the story. Maybe instead of falling to his death, he was just killed in Celestia's throne room by the freed changelings in revenge for Chrysalis and then left. To the public, it would look like either Anon died defending Celestia from a changeling attack or Celestia did the deed herself. Either way, it would be the last nail in Twilight's relationship with Celestia. Luna would know the truth but given the fact that she is her sister and lover (plus being a former villain herself) few would be quick to believe her. Nevertheless as Celestia and Anon knew, time would move on and the world would eventually forget about Anon and Celestia's actions, all but one. Despite "winning", Celestia would be tortured for eternity whenever she saw Twilight. Anon had gain immortality: within in Twilight's heart, ironically because of his "kind" actions towards her.
But anyway, your new ending is better than the original but it just doesn't give me the rush of the original. I felt Anon's frustration more keenly since nothing he could do would grant him his wish because Celestia's duty to the world was unbreakable. It was so cathartic when he started to pummel her in a desperate grasp for any kind of victory. But that's just me.
>>25887819
That was hot.
>>"Oh Anon, I hope you'll enjoy my new recipe. It's, to die for."
Poor cows.
>>25899783
indeed.
My penis hungers for all of you.
It's been a tragic weekend, and I just need to escape for a little while. Can anyone recommend me something sweet and romanticand finished?
Preferably Flutters x Anon, but any this point, anything with some warm, comfy feels would help.
>>25901358
jauffry or cyoa off the top of my head
>>25901860
>jauffry
link?
>>25901986
http://pastebin.com/u/jffry890
>>25899783
![large[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Z1JmTnw.png "large[1].png")
>>25903573
Ponka da bestand I absolutely love the gypsy art of her
>>25903573
>>25901358
http://pastebin.com/u/flutterpriest
>>25901860
>>25902318
Any particular story you recommend?
Come to think of it, I have an unfinished story I'd like to get around to finishing. I'm worried that it'd be out of place here though since while it's Anon in Equestria, all the ponies and such are dead and humans rule he world. The only character left from the show would be Tirek. Would that kind of story be accepted here?
>>25904334
Sounds edgy. It follows the rules of AiE, so it's allowed, no clue if anyone is gonna like it.
Having a bad time in undertale, anyone got some nice short green to add some determination to my day?
>>25899783
>"This needs more ponk!"
>You look up from you tax return at the pink one.
"Excuse me what?"
>She gestures in a general direction at your room.
>"Just look at this hidey hole of yours Anon! Grey! Green! Muted colors!"
"Yes Pinkie, that's because it's my room."
>"It needs more ponk!"
>You raise a finger to ask the all important question, but she's out of the door with a swish of her tail.
>You shake your head and pick up your pencil again.
>Trying to understand that mare is a one way street to crazy town.
>Within a minute Pinkie's back with cans of paint.
>You're already out of your chair and making shooing motions.
"No. No. Absolutely not. Out."
>With a narrowing of her eyes, she pops a lid.
>"Can't stop the ponk Anon."
>You deftly crouch and slam the lid back on.
"Watch me."
>You heft the can out of the nearest window, ignoring the sound of the lid coming off and coating your garden in paint.
>That can wash out later.
>Your victory is short lived, as the pink menace just cracks open another can.
>"Ponk time."
>She mutters this over and over as she dips a hoof in and smears the bright pink fluid across her face.
>But for the light sheen, the paint is indistinguishable to her coat.
>You reach for the can lid but she kicks it out of reach, brushing her hoof across your skin in the same motion.
>You growl and bat her hoof away.
"You've just crossed a terrible threshold, Pinkie."
>She gives you that irritating smug smile and plunges her front hooves into the paint, soaking your carpet.
>"I'm sorry Anon. You can watch me do this"
>That's not the right-
>In a flash she's up on her hind hooves and spinning, sending paint everywhere.
>You manager to shield your eyes with a hiss, but the sound of the horrible color splattering your home fills your ears.
>When the noise stops, you lower your arms to see what remains of your interior decoration.
>Pink spots everywhere.
>You fix an eye on the smiling pony in front of you.
>>25906309
"Is it ponk now, Pinkie? Is it?"
>She gives you a confused look.
>"Ponk? Silly Anon! It's Pink!"
>You manage to stop your brain from shutting down.
"But, all that time you were saying ponk."
>Her eyes widen and she lets loose an 'ooooh'.
"Oh, don't worry about that Anon."
>She sidles closer and whispers under her hoof.
>"I gave you the ponk last night."
>Your hands start clenching uncontrollably.
>She gives you a slow wink and pats her cheek.
>"Whatever happens Anon, don't scratch too hard. The balloons like to pop on daY FIVE!!"
>She yells the last of her sentence as you fling her out the window too.
>You smile at the remains of your living room even as you hear her pink butt collide with the stinging nettles.
>Looks like both of you will need to visit the doctor soon.g-getting back into writing, h-how'd I do?
>>25901860
>>25902318
It's hidden, bro. I need to rewrite it but I'm Halo is more fun.
>>25906592
jeff pls gew
>>25888898
Did you really delete the paste, or did 8tan just fuck up the link?
I read just about everything, but that's a generic as fuck title. What was the story again?
>>25905721
I could try
>>25888898
I read it and it was alright. Typically I prefer my stories a little lengthier but you still got a few chuckles from me.I know it's easier said than done,but try not to get down over silence.
>>25906695
Think that's on you mate, works fine for me.
>>25905721
Nice green? Sorry, fresh out.
Have some old 10 minute shit instead.
>Anon's suddenly in Equestria through magic or something.
>Follows a stream hoping to find civilization.
>Ends up in Ponyville.
>Meets pony.
>Mutual freakout.
>Blackout of some kind to piss that one guy off.
>Wake up and everything's hunkydory except can't speak local language.
>Use standard American language barrier technique.
>Talk slower and louder while making exaggerated hand motions.
>Blasted with magic translation spell from Twilight because learning is for faggots.
>Get taken to meet Princess Celestia.
>She's busy with having a real job so meet Luna instead.
>Luna's just happy for any attention.
>Become friends with the lonely alicorn.
>Luna's more clingy than saran wrap.
>Wacky mini adventure with Lyra and Bestbon when you get back to Ponyville.
>Become better friends with the main six as you rotate crashing at their houses at night.
>Add Gilda because more catbird needed in general.
>Hang out and get a house somehow.
>She actually ends up being a decent roommate.
>>25908021
>Gilda stops being such a bitch.
>Secretly likes Anon sneaking peeks at dat catass.
>Stuff happens and then something else but with feels too.
>Possible romkjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjsd 444444444444444444444444445 BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB8989898989898989898989Azooooooooooo\///////////IB B B 8
>My cat's help, while appreciated, is hard to read and doesn't fit well into the narrative flow.
>Conflict of some kind out of nowhere.
>Insert Derpy in the backgroud somehow as I miss that happening.
>Stuff continues to happen but it's more intense now.
>Climax
>Get back to typing out the story's climax.
>Problem solved through friendship and/or lots of violence.
>Snarky one liner.
>Ponke laughsnort noise.
>Party canandjfasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasasssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaasaaaaaaaa;f dssssss
>Cat returns.
>Friendship lesson learned.
>Twilight explains it for everyone as if they were too stupid to get the obvious lesson as Spike writes it down
>Does that flame burp thing to send it off to the Princess so she can drop everything and read it because it's not like she has a country to run or anything.
>Letter just burns up due to Spike not giving a shit.
>Walk off into the sunset with group of friends.Then they all fucked.
>>25905721
>undertale
What the fuck is the big deal about this game? I don't know anything about it, but people won't stop freaking out about it.
>>25908059
It is a good game and people like it
>>25908059
It's heavily story-driven and has a supposedly not-shit morality system (though there are really only three general endings).
Also, the final boss on the fuck-shit-up route has good music.
>>25908059
It's a highly overrated game that has clever dialogue and some good character interactions. The premise itself is dull and the gameplay is boring. Its saving grace is the story, which if you follow, can be very moving.
>>25908103
People like you but you aren't good
>>25908509
>>25908474
>>25908415
>>25908103
>>25908059
Thanks.Now fuck off
>>25904417
Well then if it fits AiE rules, I'll get to writing more of it.
>>25909187
That pic looks familiar. Like an edit of something
>>25909942
The pose is taken from an Iron Man frame, but it's not an edit of anything itself.
>Wake up
>Are Anon
>Have the downs
>Can't do triple S without assistance
>Fluttershy is your nurse
>You lover her and pudding
>She takes extra long on your sponge bath which is a sign she wants the D
>The D being the downs
>They're contagious
>Devise a plan to give her an extra chromosome
>Next time she takes you to the park you'll go through with your plan
>For now you must wait and make inaudible remarks about your surroundings
>"Ok Anon are you ready for the park?" Fluttershy asks.
>You stop trying to make your cheerios say different words and say "muuuuhhhhhh"
>"Ok then lets go." She says attaching you to your leash.
>'It's freaking go time' You think to yourself
>Arrive at the park after Fluttershy had to tug on your leash for chasing squirrels.
>She goes off to chat with one of her friends while you play in the sand box.
>'it's time.'
>Fling off your clothes and full eagle spread your arms like how Jack Black did at the end of Nacho Libre in order to win the big match, that was the coolest.
>Your thoughts of the masked, cheese named but not themed wrestler, distract you from was you're doing.
>Fluttershy looks horrified as a flying short bus rider falls at 9.8 meters per second at her.
"MLEHHHHHHH" You scream as drool escapes your mouth.
1/2
>>25910155
>Land on Fluttershy.
>"Anon, sweetie, get off me please." Fluttershy nicely demands.
"POOT POOT" You yell at her.
>Fluttershy's eyes widen with fear, "No Anon, not poot poot."
>Nod furiously while yelling "POOT POOT."
>With that you release a deafening fart that shakes the very ground and cause a little pee to come out.
>Fluttershy lays motionless.
>You've killed her
>But you don't know that.
>You think she's sleeping.
>2 weeks later
>You've been searching for weeks.
>Hundreds of farms you've searched looking for her.
>Cause that's where everyone says she is, at a big farm where she can run free.
>Throughout your travels you were given a nickname and became a man of legend
>The Skid Mark Wanderer.
>You never were good at wiping
>But you won't rest until you've found her.
>Bad End
Hope you enjoyed whatever the hell this was!
>>25881197
>http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY
I think this needs to be curated a little more. The first three have been removed by the authors.
>>25910749
20000000 hours in ms paint.
>>25910178You ain't DurnkBut you're close
>>25906366
>>25910936
i don't know who that is, but thank you.
>>25910178
i did enjoy that, so much
>>25910981
How the fuck do you not know who durnk anun is, he posts in every thread there is, and propably even some that don't exist.
>>25910155
>Devise a plan to give her an extra chromosome
The mighty mighty dubs compel me to observe that this is some pretty abstract and sophisticated planning for a mirror licker.
Also,poot poot.
>>25911895
POOT POOT MOTHERFUCKER!
>"No Anon! No!"
>>25910749
Trixie is looking like, "Why is he carrying that chicken and not me?"
>>25911925
Well that's exactly what she is thinking.
>>25911557
I'm just not around as much as I used to be. Sorry anon
>>25908059
It's the new Dark Souls.
>>25882061
>>25882069
Screencapped. Saw this while passing through.
>>25912287
This is truly a magical place.
Not sure if you motherfuckers need Jesus or if Jesus needs a pone.
>>25912565
I need a pone.
>>25912600
But does pone need you?
>>25912619
Propably notNobody needs me
>>25912619
Ye... No.
>>25912619
To open pickle jars.
>>25913259
I'm not even sure why they invented those or did they need an excuse for humans to emigrate?
>>25913811
To store pickles.
>>25913834
And not be able to open them unless a unicorn was around?
>>25913853
Her horn power was Fluttershy level.
>>25913977
Yeah, but Fluttershy would just blow a squirrel to open the jar.
>>25889160
THOSE EYES ARE SO FUCKED UP I CANT STAND IT.
Thanks for your time.
>>25914889
Clipping through the helmet.
>>25914902
Bethesda Anon uses his powers to walk halfway into random objects.
>>25912619
>Is Equitech still around ?
someone posted this in another thread
>>25915859
>>25915467
As someone pointed out before, this fits AiE rules, so I'll be posting the sequel to King Anonymous and His Crazy Marriage (http://pastebin.com/U79sgGbF) here.
>Time is certainly a funny thing.
>It has a habit of speeding up during excitement, and right as everything ends, it begins to drag itself out through the boredom.
>It really goes without saying that the Great War was an exciting time. Not exciting in the way that you were happy, but that--well you weren’t *un*happy.
>That is to say, you weren’t unhappy at the start. Back then, things were fresh. You were at war with three brand new enemies. You were engaged. Your people seemed happier than they were in years to finally be out of the freezing north.
>But then, well, life did its thing and took all your happiness and fervor and crushed it.
>The southerners, those monsters, they fought harder than anything you’d faced in the north.
>Humans died in droves. It wasn’t until a scientific breakthrough that the tides turned for the better. Even then...
>Your fiance stabbed you in the back.
>Your closest friend died in your arms.
>You returned to Equestria a different man.
>All the happiness and glee inside you was dead.
>Celestia could see it coming from a mile away. That’s why she did it. That’s why she ruined everything.
>Despite the pain and loss, in the end, everything turned out as alright as it could have.
>The war was won and the planet belonged to man.
>Your dreams cleared up at last, and for the first time in a year, you found peace.
>After all, you had done amazing things.
>Sure they came at a cost, but sometimes tragedy is the price to pay for greatness.
>You, king of man and ruler of New Earth, son of Incognito the Great, are King Anonymous.
>>25915916
yup
>>25916054
>It’s been exactly two years since the end of the Great War.
>A lot has changed in that time.
>Firstly, you’ve taken up a few hobbies.
>You enjoy visiting shooting ranges to work on your marksmanship.
>Not to toot your own horn, but you’re pretty much the best shot in the world.
>You still practice with the sword when you can, but it’s rather difficult at times.
>A lot of your movements rely on legwork, and with yours in such sorry shape, you haven’t been able to do much.
>On another note, you decided running an entire planet on your own steam was as bad an idea as it was large, so you formed a group of your most trusted friends and wisest men to advise you in it all: John Smith and Garland of course, as well as Unattested, Whatchamacallit, and an up-and-coming face in human politics, Pseudonymous.
>Onto more interesting things, without the constant threats of the world, humans have begun to expand.
>The massive walls of New Earth no longer house the millions of trapped people, but serve as a reminder of what was done to earn their new prosperity.
>After Falling Grace, much of civilization had been, to put it lightly, cleared out.
>This meant that humans were free to colonize as if they were the first residents of the new land.
>You made sure to warn them about the wilderness, as animals still roamed freely, but it seems man's adventurous spirit always gets the better of him.
>For one reason or another, people have been and continue to go missing in the south.
>Even the search parties you send out never respond.
>In the last two years, three hundred humans have disappeared off the face of the planet.
>It’s become more than a concern for you, so despite the advice of your council, you’ve decided to lead your own party to the south and get to the bottom of what’s going on.
>Alright alright, so you should be listening to them more.
>You’ll work on that.
>>25916065
>You have plenty of time to let them plant their voices in your head when you come back.
>You *will* come back, and you will do so with three hundred men and women.
>The day of departure is upon you—tomorrow in fact—and you figure it will be a while before you see home again.
>Taking the opportunity, you make one last slow walk around the castle.
>The sun setting outside lights the path ahead of you a hot orange.
>It’s really quite beautiful. The best way to put it into words is that the light bounces off the gold furnishings and makes it all look like solid fire.
“Remember the moment,” you say quietly and raise a bottle of wine to your lips.
>You have to lean your head back in order to get anything and eventually come to the conclusion that the bottle is empty.
>Deciding the rest of your night wine-less is a night you wouldn’t want to spend awake, you take the next left and head off to your chamber.
>Wouldn’t you know it? You bump into Pseudonymous.
>The man falls on his bottom just as the sun dips below the horizon and drowns the hall in darkness.
>”Watch where you’re going, you—“
“Forgive me. My mind was elsewhere,” you say and lean down to help him up.
>”King Anonymous? Oh no, forgive *me*. My rudeness was unfounded,” he pleads.
>Looking him over, you dust off his back and return the dirtied fabric to its normal black.
“I knocked you over. A little rudeness is understandable.”
>”It’s a dark hallway, how could you have known?”
“Take the apology and stop kissing up,” you say flatly.
>Oh, thank goodness for the dark.
>Your grin would seem very out of place right now.
>Stop kissing up. Where do you even come up with these?
>”As you say, my king.”
>You stifle a laugh and move by him.
>”Off to bed, I presume?”
“Are you going to advise me to do otherwise?”
>”You’re probably too drunk to listen to me anyway.”
>>25916077
“Or maybe I just don’t like your opinions. Why did I even hire you?”
>”Because you knew having an opposing voice in your ear would make you think things throguh a little more. You know, I admire your stubbornness, but you must understand one day that you can’t treat the world like some solo battle. You’ll need to start depending on me some day.”
“I know, I know,” you say with a sigh. “I promise to be more attentive when I return.”
>You wave to him, though he probably can’t see you in the dark.
“In the meantime, goodnight sir.”
>”Goodnight.”
>It’s easy making it back to your room.
>You know this castle better than the back of your own hand by now and could probably find any room in the place if you were blind, deaf, and dumb.
>You even took the time to find three storage closets and a bathroom--totally just to prove you could--on your way back.
>Retreating into your room, you discard your boots and prepare everything for tomorrow.
>Clothes, a bag, your sword, and a boomtube.
>Having learned from your mistake at the temple, you make sure to only carry the newest model of boomtube. Gods forbid you get stuck with another barely functioning hunk of wood.
>This one shoots a whole six bullets before it needs to be reloaded.
>What an amazing piece of technology.
>You marvel at the long and slim boomtube before setting it down next to your doublet and heading off to bed.
>The soft mattress hugs you like a lover knowing it’s about to lose something.
>That makes for a very comfy, if dreamless, sleep.
>>25916093
>The next morning, you gussy yourself up, load everything onto your person, and go outside to meet with your party.
>”Good morning, my king,” shouts Garland as he climbs onto a dire wolf.
>Your head throbs at his voice.
“Heavens above, lower your voice, man.”
>He snickers, eliciting a groan from you.
>Garland insisted he accompany you if you were to travel.
“Do away with the king speak. We’re going to be awful close for a while and I’d rather not be the sore thumb of the party.”
>”Somebody’s a bit grumpy, eh?”
>You grumble and climb onto your own wolf.
>Mornings stopped being your thing three years ago.
>Though your leg doesn’t burn with pain every time you wake up, it’s still bad memories.
>Waking up with a headache doesn’t help either.
>At least there won’t be any of those nasty little things on the trip. There’s no room in these supply bags to fit alcohol, so you’ll be riding sober the whole time.
>Joy.
>”Look on the bright side, my ki—I mean, Anonymous.”
>One of the soldiers in your company walks up to you and strokes the back of your wolf.
>”Think of this as a little vacation. You’re going to meet up with some friends down south, and with a bit of luck, convince them to come up north with you.”
>You smile and nod.
“Thank you.”
>He retreats to his own canine steed and loads up.
“Well boys, I hope you’ve said your goodbyes. We’ve a long road ahead, and we’re not turning back until we have those missing humans walking alongside us.”
>>25916104
>”What do you think we’ll find down there?”
>”Probably packs of wild animals feasting on human flesh.”
>”Why do you always have to be so negative?”
>”The world isn’t a fairy tale. Not everything goes the way we want.”
>”Not everything has to go poorly though.”
>This constant bickering has been the norm for the last forty miles.
>First it was whose wolf was bigger, then it was whose sword was shinier.
>After they were done comparing material items, they compared their skills.
>When there was nothing left to compare, they argued over ideas and the future.
>”Tell him, Anonymous.”
>”Tell me what? That you’re a craddleboy still waiting for mommy to tell you happy bedtime stories?”
>”I am not a craddleboy, you pillowbiter!”
>”You take that back.”
“Men!” you shout over them suddenly. “You have done more complaining this whole trip than I’ve seen jaded couples do in years of marriage. I cannot thank you enough for your help in this journey, but when I asked for volunteers, I expected them to be above petty womanly squabbles.”
>They hang their heads as you talk, hopefully realizing their errors.
“Now say you’re sorry and bury this gods forsaken feud so we may hopefully reach the south without migraines.”
>”I’m sorry, Unassigned.”
>”I’m sorry too, Absentee.”
>Good. Now to continue this walk—
>”Not as sorry as me though.”
>”Oh, I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I’m sorrier than you.”
>Well it was worth a try.
>>25916124
>The sun rises and falls without fail through the days, just as it did before Celestia and her sister came into the world, and just as it will continue to do until long after their bodies are dust.
>To think you believed that lie for so long. Hell, so did your father.
>They had everyone fooled into thinking nothing would work without them.
>The sun would stop, the tides would fall, the rains would cease, and the world would end without so much as a whisper.
>Well, it sure as sunshine is shining sun when a few small and clustered buildings come into view.
>It looks like someone tried to start up a little town.
>You should be able to restock on supplies there. Dire wolves can only carry so much at a time, and gods they are hungry creatures.
>Given the large fields surrounding it and the forest off in the distance, it likely survives on hunting in the forest.
>It...would also have food for your wolves. They eat a lot, so you’re bound to be running low after these two days.
>And if they happen to have some liquor, well it would be wrong to refuse any from a host.
“We’ll stop at the settlement up ahead. Perhaps the locals will have some information for us too.”
>”I think we could manage to the next *actual* village before we need to stop,” Garland says.
“And if something should happen between here and there? If there’s anything I’ve learned in my travels, it’s better safe than sorry.”
>”Look, as your adviser, I think you should worry more about making it back to your people instead of playing the safe card on an already safe road. There are no more monsters. Nobody is going to ambush us.”
“Excuse me, who is leading this expedition again?”
>The gruff man huffs and keeps quiet until you all come upon the settlement.
>Unassigned is the first to get off his wolf and run through the place.
>>25916143
>You follow in step and hop off, landing less than gracefully thanks to your damned leg.
>”Hello?” your men call as they peruse the few buildings there are.
>It’s a quaint place. Not too many people though.
>So far you’ve seen zero humans from the some ten houses around.
“Is there anyone about? We’d like to talk business. Also, do you have anything to drink?”
>Not a soul answers your call.
>You have a bad feeling about this.
>It’s deathly silent in the settlement.
>While your men peek inside houses, only to confirm no one is there, you head to the forge.
>It’s hot inside. While the fire has died, it was very recent.
>Whatever happened here happened not long ago.
>”Anonymous, you might want to see this,” a voice calls you.
>You step outside to find Unassigned pointing out behind one of the small houses he had been searching.
>Following his finger, you see the grass in that direction is flattened as if something had been dragged off.
>The trail leads out to the aforementioned forest which looms ominously in the distance.
>Well that’s about all you needed.
“Load up, boys. We’re changing course.”
>”You want to go out there?” Absentee asked annoyed and puts his hand on your shoulder.
“No, we’re going to grow wings and fly away,” you say dryly and pull away.
>Your wolf saunters up to you and bends down a bit, giving you better access to its back.
>As you hoist yourself up, the rest of the “pack” collects at your sides.
>”I have a bad feeling about this,” Garland mewls.
“Have two years shrunken your manhood that much? You were the dictionary definition of manliness and fearlessness when I first met you.”
>”And now I have a wife and child to think about back home. Surely you know what that’s like.”
“Not at all, actually.”
>Give him a second.
>>25916153
>”Wait, I didn’t mean it like that.”
>Boy, you’re used to that by now.
>Everyone settles down apparently.
>Even fucking John got hitched.
>Yeah, well while they’re living it up and letting their blades get dull, you’ll be running a planet.
>Your people come before your love life.
>A few of the men share stories about what horrors the forest might hold.
>Absentee even makes a few jabs at Unassigned, trying to start up that argument from earlier.
>You make sure to stop that in its tracks.
>The last thing you need on your mind is the rough and tough soldiers, that are supposed to be helping you, cowering behind a tree when things go down.
>As you all enter the forest, it becomes noticeably darker.
>Light is unable to penetrate the thick tree cover, so you’re all left to squinting in the dark and trusting your wolves’ steps.
>”Do you see anything?”
>”Do you?”
>”No.”
>”Neither do I.”
“Forget your eyes. Do you hear anything? Maybe a child crying, or someone rustling in the bushes?”
>”I can’t hear anything with Unassigned breathing down my neck.”
>Close your eyes and listen.
>What do you hear?
>Your wolf’s steps.
>You hear Garland’s.
>You hear the other four wolves of your company.
>You also hear…are those hooves?
>”What are you talking about? I’m way ahead of you.”
>”Then what’s behind me?”
>A small part of you dies inside.
>>25916166
>Your hand flies to your belt and takes out your boomtube.
>Aiming for the trees above, you fire several shots that ring in your ears and send birds flying.
>The short instances of light are enough to give you sight of a terrible figure.
“Absentee, get down!” you shout and aim for the massive creature.
>Pulling the trigger, you send a bullet speeding right for your soldier’s assailant.
>That one hits it square in the chest, so you move your hand up a little more and fire again, this time landing a shot right between its eyes.
>You can hear the shuffling of paws in fallen leaves as several men collect behind you.
>Once that and the flapping of wings stops, the forest is left silent.
>You all stand stark still, waiting for something to happen.
>Silent…silent…oh, good. For a second you thought whatever that thing was wasn’t really dead.
>Let’s see, that was one, two, three…five bullets. You’ve still go—
>What’s that sound?
>That’s laughter.
>Someone’s sick and twisted chuckling slowly growing into a thundering laugh.
“Sir, you’d do well to show yourself.”
>The man only continues laughing from the dark.
>Is he mocking you?
>”What an interesting toy. You had me worried for a second,” he speaks finally.
>With a broken voice like that, you assume either a fossil or a mutant.
>”The king has ordered you to show yourself!”
>”Oh, a king? There’s power in a royal’s life, I’ll tell you that. Much more than you dainty commoners.”
>”Commoner? I’ll have you know I’m a—“
>”Snack.”
>You’ve had just about enough of this.
“Tell us, old man. Are you the one who did away with that settlement?”
>”I did make use of the food bar. Sorry to say, but I’m feeling like desert right now.”
>A…cannibal?
>You thought only foul did that.
>>25916179
>”What a disgusting old man. I say we kill him and be done with it,” Absentee speaks up.
“No, we don’t kill humans,” you snap. “We’ll let the justice system deal with his crimes.”
>At that, his thundering laughter returns.
>”Oh, that’s rich! You think I’m a lowly human? Come, tiny morsels. Behold me!”
>A blinding light flashes before your dark-accustomed eyes.
>It hurts for as long as it takes for that ghastly orange glow to strike through the branches above and make a hole.
>A single ray of light as large as a dinner table comes into through the broken area and illuminates well enough the shadow of a hideous being.
>It stands as tall as two men, yet it…is only half human.
>You can make out arms and a head in the silhouette, but its legs are that of a pony.
>”You’ll become a part of this soon enough. I do love my magic, but you humans have such a vibrant life force that it passes for the same.”
>What the devil is that thing?
>No country was dedicated to such creatures, and you’ve certainly never read anything about them.
>”What are you?” Unassigned squeaks.
>”Food need not concern itself with names. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll start with—“
“It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s a monster. Fire!”
>Your final bullet starts the symphony of tiny explosions that rip through the air.
>The beast raises its arms in defense, but it doesn’t fall.
>In fact, you swear you can hear the bullets bouncing off it.
>”How amusing.”
“What sorcery is this?”
>>25916190
“Looks like we’re in for a fight. Ready your blades, men!”
>Garland is the first off his wolf.
>He draws his shining sword and charges at the creature.
>Such a valiant warrior.
>The rest of the soldiers in your company dismount as well and follow his lead.
>Tossing your boomtube aside, you fish your sword out of the pack on your steed and step off.
>By some amount of bad luck, you land right on your bad leg and collapse on it.
>Pain shoots up through it, and you take a second to collect yourself.
>Forced as an onlooker, you watch as the creature effortlessly scoops up one man after another and breathes.
>Inhales deeply, and with every breath, it seems to take more of their humanity.
>Garland shrivels up in its grip until he is a bad parody of a raisin.
>Next is Absentee, then another, then another, then…
>The monster’s eyes fall to you.
“ You’ll pay dearly for that,” you growl and shakily get back on your feet.
>”Surely you don’t think you stand a chance after what you just saw. Why don’t you save yourself some hurt and give in? Most humans do.”
“I am not most humans.”
>”As a king, I’m sure you’ll taste better at least.”
“Shut up!”
>It swings its pale reddish-brown arm down at you, but you’re determined to not fall into the same trap your friends did.
>You jump away using your good leg and hold your sword up.
>The creature’s motion brings its hand right across your blade, letting it cut deep into its flesh.
>Right?
>Where’s the blood?
>You reel back in shock as the monster chuckles again.
>”How many times will you try the same thing and expect different results?”
>>25916212
>It grabs at you again, but you leap closer to it, missing its hand.
>Grabbing about halfway up your sword, you thrust at its gut in hopes that the extra power will penetrate whatever thick hide it has.
>Much to your horror, the tip of your blade shatters against its skin, sending you forward onto the ground.
>The beast brings its hand down and grabs your leg, but instead of breathing your life away, it shakes you like an angry dog with a squirrel in its mouth.
>Before your head rips off, your ragdoll body is thrown hard into a tree.
>A sickening, vomit-worthy pain radiates in your chest as you hit the ground with a thud.
>”As sad a performance as that was, I should congratulate you. You’ve put up the biggest fight so far since I escaped.”
>You can’t even muster a response.
>Struggling to lift yourself up is hard enough.
>”I guess I’ll tell you my name then. As a prize, you know?”
>This isn’t how you imagined things ending.
>You’ve seen some shit. You’ve done some shit.
>Now you’ll become shit?
>Shit.
>”My name, little king, is Lord Tirek, and your people will fuel my campaign.”
>Tirek reaches down for you again, likely to finish you off.
>Before his hand can claim you, Unassigned leaps from the shadows and knocks it away.
>He must not have joined in the charge.
>The light leaking through the trees bounces off his sweat and the glistening fur of his wolf.
>”Come on!”
>He reaches down for you.
>With no small amount of effort on your part, you grab his hand, and he hoists you up onto his steed.
>”We’re getting out of here!”
>”Nobody escapes me!”
>The wolf bursts into a mad run through the forest.
>For a while, the consistent sound of hooves behind you has you afraid Tirek will catch up, but not too much longer than the run had started, you explode out into the field.
>>25916222
>Your pursuer must have stage fright because he doesn’t follow past there.
>”Forgive me for not fighting at your command earlier, my king.”
>Tell him you two are only alive for it.
>Go on, tell him.
>No eyes, why are you closing?
>You can’t sleep right now.
>You have to…
>The world turns black.
That's all I have for a while. Is this something you guys would be interested in reading or is there not enough pony in it for AiE?
I'm going to cross post a new story from the RGRE thread since I figure that you guys might want to read it.
>>25917010
>A distant roar is the vanguard of your awakening
>Your eyes snap open and you quickly check the room
>Your hand reaches over to grab the axe resting on the wall as you look for monsters/intruders
>One can never be too careful in the Everfree forest after all
>Seeing that your thick oaken doors had managed to bar the beasts of the night you quickly rolled out of your bed
>Though the sun hasn't even peaked over the horizon you are wide awake
>There is much to do
>Far too much to do in such little time
>You feel joints pop as you squat down next to your hearth and start to rekindle the nearly extinguished flame
>In no time at all you have a roaring fire going, which means it's time to get something to eat
>Just the barest hint of sunlight peeks through your windows as you walked over to your larder and grabbed yourself some eggs and a small slab of meat
>The eggs were taken from one of those foul snake-chickens and the meats came from one of those monstrous chimera
>This, like all the food that you plucked from this forest, was hard earned, but you wouldn't have it any other way
>Food that was earned by the sweat of one's brow made all other food pale in comparison
>After your breakfast was cooked and eaten and the grey clay slabs that you used as plates were washed you began to dress yourself
>Wool pants and a leather tunic, along with thick hydra hide boots that you had fashioned yourself adorn your body
>Over your tunic you threw on a thick fur-trimmed coat and you grabbed yourself a sack for your supplies
>They were not the prettiest clothes that had never been made but they were practical
>And practical was what you needed to be in the Everfree
>Fully clothed and with a belly full of food you grabbed a knife and your axe, slinging both into your belt as you opened the door to your humble home and stepped outside
>Bird calls and the buzzing of insects greeted you on this crisp morning and nothing else
>Good
>>25917023
>The deterrents that you had placed were working just as they should...
>Quickly checking around your house you make sure that everything's where it should be and that you didn't have any nasty surprises waiting for you
>...Nothing
>Today's getting better and better
>With that task done now you have a significantly more irritating one to deal with
>A task that you dislike more than any other but one that, every once in awhile, you have to do
>You have to go into town
>You are...
>...
>...
>...
>Well, you are Anonymous you suppose
>If you truly needed a name that was as good of one as any
>And you were the infamous recluse of Ponyville
>Today you finally needed to bite the bullet and go and deal with some of the most infuriating creatures that you have ever known
>Ponies
>Most men would have tried to put this off longer
>They would have found other things to do, or they would have talked themselves into not dealing with those bothersome creatures
>But you were of the north
>Your forefathers were men of fire and iron; warriors who had made even the longears of the south tremble
>It was not in your blood to shy away from anyone or anything
>So, fingering your axe, you followed the meticulously maintained path toward town
>Thankfully no creature was laying in wait for you so you broke the treeline in good time
>But that meant you were on the property of the Apple clan, ponies that you didn't care for all that much
>The big red one was alright, and you could even stomach that little one with the bow in her hair on occasion, but it was the other one that really--
>"Well howdy there, Anon! Heck of a mornin' ain't it?"
>...Speak of the demon and she shall spawn you supposed...
>Your eyes snapped toward a tree where the farmer just so "happened" to be leaning against
>A spot she no doubt picked so she could wait for you to leave the forest
>>25917041
>A grunt is all you give her as you continued to make your way out of the farm
>To your irritation the orange mare takes this as an invitation to follow you
>"So how've ya'll been in that there forest? Ain't nothin' bothering ya?"
"I do the best that I can with what I have," you tell the little horse. "And it's been a long while since anything's tried to attack me."
>You see the farmer eyeing your axe in a way you don't like so you quicken your pace
>Without missing a beat she matches it
>"Say Anon, why don't ya give me that there axe while ya mosey around town?"
"No."
>Applejack stumbles at your instant refusal, the smile leaving her face
>"Come on now, don't be like that," she said, irritation in her tone. "I just don't want ya to hurt yourself is all. It ain't safe fer a colt ta be lugging around axes and knifes and such. That's why we don't--"
"You touch my axe the shaft of it is going somewhere it can't be easily pulled out," you growled, sidestepping the mare's clumsy attempt at grabbing it
>Your spirits lift when you see the entrance to the farm
>You were almost free
"Now if you'll excuse me I have much to do today and chatting like an old washerwoman is not one of those things."
>Applejack says something but you ignore it as you cross the threshold of the farm and onto Ponyville's one and only main road
>You were going to have to watch out for that mare when you came back with supplies
>Like you always had to
>For some inconceivable reason Applejack of the Apple clan did not want you to brandish your axe and your knife while you were in town
>She insisted that it wasn't, "proper fer a stallion ta be carrin' such things like that."
>Nevermind that you had been handling blades of all kinds since before you could walk
>And you weren't even going to bother mentioning all of the "subtle" hints that you should leave the forest and come live in town...
>But she was gone now
