>"What's a matter Anon? You gonna cry? Like a little bitch?"
>>25727655
Yes...
>>25727655
the princess of friendship everyone
>Twilight is stripped of her alicorn status
>loses her castle
>the rest of the mane 6 don't want to be caught seen with her anymore
>>25727655
I'm going to cry for more and you know it you kinky whorse
>>25727655
Twilight... reorganizing my sock drawer isn't a prank. I normally don't even fold them, I just throw them in there.
>>25727655
Yes and there is nothing you can do to stop me waaaaaaaa
>>25727655
N-no
>>25727655
>>25727675
Twidom green when?
>>25727655
>"What's a matter Anon? You gonna cry?”
>Looking around you saw several ponies were already starting to gather around the princess as she ridiculed you.
>What a fucking bitch.
>Most looked on with questioning glances until they saw ‘it’.
>’It’ being a scraped knee.
>Some asshole left a jar of jam laying on the ground which you tripped over.
>The ponies who saw the small droplets of blood forming on your scraped skin recoiled.
>One mare in the back fainted.
>Shit, you heard someone even yelling for a doctor.
“Nah I’m good.”
>Standing up you dusted yourself off and continued on your merry way.
>Twiggles stood speechless at your indifference.
>Newspapers around equestria spoke of the human who didn’t feel pain in the next issue.
>>25727655
Jokes on you, Twilight. I'm too emotionally dead to cry.
>>25727893
....Did Twilight just taunt Anon after he suffered a serious injury, by pony standards? This is like taunting your friend when he falls and breaks his leg.
>>25727655
I-I'm trying not to! Your marecock is just so... so huge! Go easier on me.
>>25727655
>Despite all she had put him through, Anon was still standing, his head held high
>As the tears rolled down Anon's face, he realised he wasn't a little bitch
>He was a little man
>>25727967
Anon always gets the last laugh.
---
>Twizzler was back again.
>Apparantly her little comment reached the big butts of Canterlot ears.
>So she was here to formally apologize.
>You however were going to fuck with her.
>It’s a jersey thing.
>After your little boo-boo earlier in the week you learned a few things about your equine friends.
>Ponies did not like the sight of blood, or being hurt. At all.
>The sight alone can make them gag, throw up, or just plain pass out.
>Who would’ve thunk.
>So here you sat in the kitchen, waiting patiently.
>Waiting to use your newfound powers of pain tolerance for good.
>There was only going to be one chance to get this right.
>And you sure as shit weren’t going to blow it.
>”Anon? You in here?”
>It is time.
“Yup I’m in the kitchen.”
>Man the battlestations!
>”Listen Anon, I’m sorry for what I”
>She didn’t even get to finish.
>The moment her head cleared the doorway and she saw you sitting there she was doomed.
>Two fingers gripped the bandage which covered your scraped knee from earlier.
>In one sickening motion you peeled it off in its entirety.
>As quickly as the bandage came off the color from Twirkles face drained.
>And she found a new friend to mingle with named floor.
>Serves you right purple sturkle.
>>25727655
You stare up from your newspaper and stare at Twilight.
>"I have seen every horrible thing that my species has done, from its beginning to its end. I have seen through the eyes of the tortured, molested, raped, beaten, oppressed, murdered and accused, and I have seen through the eyes of the torturers, molesters, rapists, beaters, oppressors, murderers and accusers. I have wept an eternity's worth for my kind, and for all I have wept until I could weep no longer. I am in this moment, beyond tears, beyond sadness and beyond anger. Am I disappointed? I don't think that's a question you should really ask, if you already know the answer, but for your transactions against me, and my garden gnomes? I have nary an ounce of flesh within my being that leaks in sorrow. Now, silence. I am reading Heathcliff."
You go back to reading your horse comics as Twilight stamps her hoof in frustration, knowing yet again she has failed to make you mad.
>>25727967
Nah, she knew humans were made of tougher stuff. Twi was just checking to see if Anon was into public humiliation. ...She read too many books about fetishes when she was cooped up be herself back in Canterlot.
>>25727893
Sounds like the kinderquestria pone prison thread.
>>25727996
>These little horses were going to be the death of you.
>Well not really.
>If the way they treated the smallest thing it wouldn’t.
>But seriously you were currently mid-flight to the trauma center in Baltimare because you got a friggin’ got a splinter.
>It wasn’t even that big.
>Good thing this place had free health care.
>Cause you sure as hell weren’t going to be paying for this ride.
>So sitting here in chariot being pulled by two ponies with another medic looking at you with tears in her eyes you sighed.
>”You’re going to be fine just stay with me.”
>Aww little horsie is sad.
>Fuck you had shit to do today.
>You should have just told apples to move those crates herself.
>See what helping others gets you.
“Hey you got a pair of tweezers in that bag of yours.”
>A teary filled nod later she gave you those magical little metal grabbers.
>Looking down at your finger, which was held firmly by a pair of splints you pulled out the little splinter.
“Cool, can I go home now?”
>The only response you got was the retching of the pony over the side.
>Was it something I said?
>>25727893
>You're brought to the ponydoctor
>You give your medical history
>The doctor vomits when he hears that you broke your arm when you were 16
>decides to take a leave of absence for his mental health
>>25727655
i-its only because I'll never have the old you back.
>>25728084
>anon just did the pony equivalent of removing bullets from his own body
2hardcore4me
>>25728114
>"You mean you broke your leg AND you weren't put down for it? AND you recovered no problem at all?"
>News headlines read "ANON THE INVINCIBLE!"
>>25728170
>No doctor-patient confidentiality
>Anon sues
>>25728084
>Why do pones always make mountains out of molehills?
>You were sitting in a very small and uncomfortable chair while some pony doctor just explained the impossibility that is your very being.
>”He survived two broken bones from what the examination spells tell us and judging by the scars much more than that.”
>Oh yeah, the scar on your hand where your idiot brother told you to catch and threw you a knife.
>You were never the smart one in the family.
>Oh well.
>”And by the indication of scarring tissue on his abdomen he’s had some surgery as well.”
>Oh look Luna’s dry heaving.
>Poor moon-horse.
>You always liked her.
“Hey, how long am I going to be here?”
>”Anonymous, just a little bit longer. Please be patient for our sake’s.”
>Sunbutt, ever the pacifying royal.
>Cracking your knuckles you leaned back.
>The sight before you however almost made you laugh.
>Luna went from dry heaving to projectile vomiting all over the doctor.
>Celestia however just went completely rigid and fell over like statue.
>This shit can’t be real.
“So yeah, I’m going to head out then.”
>Fucking ponies.
>You better not get in any shit for this.
>>25728126
>Twilight went to Canterlot to become and Alicorn
>When she came back, she was different.
>Her personality had done a complete 180.
>You were once her best friend, and now she took pleasure in making you feel terrible.
>The real Twilight died the night she left on the train to Canterlot.
>>25728312
so what i said was true... from a certain point of view
>>25728281
good shit
>>25728281
Plz tell me that there is more on the way
>>25728492
I'm currently out of ideas, but open to suggestions.
>>25728577
anon tell a story of how he had a snowball fight and got a blackeye from being hit by an iceball
>this happened to me once
>>25728653
I like thismainly because this happened to me as well.
In the meantime:
---
>You are Anonymous the human.
>Dubbed the invincible one by the local populace.
>And they fucked up.
>Somehow Skittles came back from some yak place with a bottle of vodka.
>This is of making the Anon strong.
>Ponies don’t like drink.
>Anon, be of drinkings however.
>Nows there is problem of ponies, there be zebra here.
>Zebra not pony, must remove.
>Like uncles Ivan teaches.
>Remove zebra then drink.
>Zebra locked inside candy of house.
>Somewheres up you hear dear uncles glorious voice.
>”Be strong Anon! True Russian make his way in!”
>Da uncle.
>Door is nut, crack it open like bear.
Inside..
>Be terrified Mrs. Cake
“He’s trying to break in!”
>You watched in horror as Anon door the door apart piece by piece.
>Some parts with his teeth.
>His hands covered in innumerable splinters and bruises on his face.
>He’s a monster!
![5b4JX[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/7BvEJVD.png "5b4JX[1].png")
>>25727655
>I was just trying to ask you where the bus stop was...
>>25728675
>So after signing a document stating that you could no longer consume vodka you were let out of the Canterlot Spa.. dungeon.
>Fucking place was snazzy.
>Plus filled with hotties.
>But that’s beside the point.
>”Darling, you really should stop by the boutique. The ensemble you’re wearing is way out of fashion.”
“Eh, doesn’t bother me. Anyway thanks for the hot cocoa Rara, I’ll see you later.”
>With a wave you exited Sugarcube Corner.
>Marshmallow horse met with you once in a while so she could grill you on human fashion.
>Which you knew nothing about.
>But you got free clothes out of it so yeah, not a bad deal.
>”Anon lookout!”
>In the split second you opened the door a snowball decided it was in love with your face.
>Because it didn’t want to be apart any longer.
>Lying on the ground you hands instinctively went right to where you got hit.
>Whoever threw that had a fucking arm, or hoof more than likely.
>Cracking open the eye that didn’t feel like it took a slapshot from gretzky, you spied the offenders.
>There standing only a few feet away was the three troublemakers and what the hell is that?
>A fucking trebuchet?
>Really?
>You being put down so quickly however caused a commotion because moments later the patrons from the store were gathered all around you.
>As were the three who decided to fuck up your face.
>”Anonymous darling, are you okay?”
“Yeah just took a shot in the eye. I’ll be fine.”
>Shot in the eye, kek.
>”How bad does it look?”
>Moving your hand out of the way you let white horse take a look.
>Holy shit did she actually go a shade whiter?
>How the fuck is that even possible?
>Standing up you took a look in the window.
>Damn they got you good, that shiner was going to be a good one.
>Some ponies looked as though they were having panic attacks, and diamond horse was chastising the three demon spawn.
>You should however get home.
>Grabbing a handful of snow from the ground you put it up to your black eye.
>>25728842
Time for sleep.
>>25728675
>they hear him shrieking from their hiding place
"AH NUUUUUUU CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE"
>>25728577
Ok how about chrysalis attacking the crystal empire kicking the crap out of the changlings celestia makes him an elite royal guard? (First time I have given an idea for a story)
>>25727655
>Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight.
>It's hard to let it go.
>>25729123
kek
>>25727655
Yeah, im a bit upset
>>25729384
I-is the ride ending soon?
>>25729641
Not anytime soon, don't you worry you little head. >>25729384 is just more doomsaying.
>>25729666
Thanks Satan.
>Be Anon
>Be in Twilight's castle of friendshit.
>Purple Smart and you were talking about normal stuff.
>You know, the usual "Anon, stop screaming at the local children" and the typical "Anon, I like it when you touch me, but you can't make love to me out of nowhere in public"
>Yeah, those talks.
>"...and so if you touch me in the ass again on the school's property, I might not be able to get you out of trouble. Understand?"
"Yeah. Totes."
>Lel, no you don't.
"Well, look, I'm fuggin' hungry for lunch, so I'm gonna got eat. See ya."
>You rise from the seat in Twi's living room.
>And slip.
>Oops.
>"HOLY SHIT! ANON! OMIGOD! SPIIIIIIIIKE!"
>The tiny slave...er, dragon....runs down urgently.
>"Yeah Twilight? What's wro--uh-oh..."
>"SPIKE, CALL THE AMBULANCE IMMEDIATELY!"
"Twi, it's alright, I just slipped is--"
>"Sssssh!!!! You'll be ok, Anon!" she sobs.
>"I'M NOT LEAVING YOU!"
"...ok, I'm just gonna stand up."
>You get back on your feet as Spike looks on in absolute TERROR.
>He pukes in shock and faints.
>Twilight looks baffled.
>"What? B-but how?!"
"...I stood up?"
>Twilight sobs as she wraps herself around your legs.
>"I thought you were gonna die....I-I haven't even told you that...that I love you...."
"Twi, I just fucking slipped, I'm okay."
>"DON'T YOU EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN ANONYMOUS! DON'T YOU EVER!"
>yfw this is why dad told you not to drink the bleach, isn't it?
>>25729384
what the hell is up with that font?
>>25729384
holy shit what a short-sighted asshole
can't people give something a week or two before they start spouting that it's the worst thing to ever happen
/trash/ is fine
/mlp/ is fine
Sometimes I crack my neck with my hands instead of just using neck muscles. One on the chin, other on the side of the head. Could anon feign breaking his own neck?
>>25729965
I do the same, but the worst is when your neck doesn't pop, and you just wind up making it ache even more
>>25729981
I know that feel, but I don't use my hand.
I just give it a good swing both ways.
>>25729981
Yeah, a lot of the time I back off because I'm scared I'll break my own neck. I know I probably can't but I'd rather not take the risk.
>>25728693
NO DONT DO THIS. THE FEELS LEVEL IS TOO GREAT
>>25728693
>>25727655
HEAR MY WAR CRY
>>25727999
Nobody checking this shit?
Checked. Nice trips.
>>25729384
>/mlp/ postcount is decreasing
>B-better allow anthro, RP and porn!
He's the part of the fucking problem. I'd rather have a slower, but nice board than a fucking /b/ 2.0 shitfest with roleplaying underages and anthroshit flooding lewd threads.But he was right about porn tho.
>You are Anon the last mortal alive in Equestria.
>Apparently the common cold was lethal to Equestrians.
>Your visit turned in to a IRL game of plague inc.
>100% infection rate in two days and 100% death rate in four, Fucking win.
>So now you on a planet, living alone, except you are haunted by thousands of spooky ghosts.
>The most regular spookening you get is from Twilight, the ex-princess of friendship.
>Ever since your first meeting Twilight proclaimed that she will make your life a misery for all eternity for single handedly destroyed her race.
>"What's a matter Anon? You gonna cry? Like a little bitch?"
>You watch piece of toast hover in front of you.
>...
>You sigh and rub your eyes.
"No for the last Twilight Spookle. It's just making me hungry."
>You see Twilight fade into view hovering a few feet off the floor.
>"IT'S SPARKLE! S-P-A-R-K-L-E!"
>She turns an opaque red waving her ghostly hooves around.
"Ok Sparky, I'm going to bed."
>You sit up from the table and headed up stairs leaving the Spookle behind.
>"ANON! YOU GET BACK HERE AND BE SCARED!"
>Her voice lands on deaf ears.
>You swing open your bedroom door and undressed to get into bed.
>You snuggle down and wait for slumber.
>Just before you fall into a deep sleep you feel a stone could hoof nudge you on the shoulder.
>"Umm...Mister Anon? I don't mean to bother you.."
>You crack open a eye to find Spookershy hovering above you.
"What is it..."
>"I'm really sorry Anon but ummm..."
>...
"Well?"
>"Boo..."
"Ok Fluttershy, goodnight."
>"Did it scare you Anon?"
"Yes, now I've fainted... Goodnight Yellowbut."
>"Oh! I'm so sorr- I mean MWAHAHAAHA!"
>Fucking ghost pones.
>>25731011
>Beep Beep...
>Beep beep.
>You roll over and slap you hand on the alarm clock to cancel the alarm.
>Ugh...
>You rub your eyes and look out the window to find it's still dark out.
>You glance back around the alarm clock.
>8:00 AM
>Oh right...
>No Sunbutt.
>You open your bedside drawer and pull out an remote for a remote control car.
>You fumble around in drawer once again an pull out Celestias horn.
>As you yawn, you screw her horn into the device where the aerial once was.
>You point it toward the horizon and push up on the analogue stick.
>Slowly but surely the sun crept over the horizon.
>You would of lowered the moon first but the first attempt of controlling a celestial body sent it flying across into deep space.
>Heh, it was a shit bit of rock anyway.
>Besides with out it controlling the tides you earn't yourself a beach just outside Ponyville.
>After your daily duties was done, you make your way downstairs.
>You guess it's time for breakfast.
>You open the fridge to find hundreds of pears.
>Godammit.
>"OooooOOoooo! I hive turned all you apples into pears!"
>You hear the familiar southern accent behind you.
"Applejack..."
>"Tell me Anon, Are yah sufferin'?"
"Not really, Apples kinda suck too..."
>You quickly replied.
>"Anon...that's...that ah horrible thing ta say..."
>The orange ghost pone floats away sobbing.
>>25727655
i can see you miss
>>25727655
"I'm not crying"
>>25731069
>>"Anon...that's...that ah horrible thing ta say..."
kek
>>25729384
>low post count
>/po/ still exists
>>25731154
Kek
>>25730152
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSmuE7Us9hk
>>25731956
I take your feels and raise you one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8X5OPIhW5U
>>25731956
HOW MANY TIMES DO WE GOTTA TEACH YOU THIS LESSON, OLD MAN!
>>25729835
This is both cute and nauseating if this happened
>>25727655
>anon gets a ptsd trip
>ponies don't know shit about the war
>they mock him while he has a breakdown
Anywritefag wanna try their hand at this?
>>25732560
Meh
>>25728842
>>25728281
>>25731069
Good stuff ITT
>>25728842
>So everything went back to normal after a while.
>Most ponies gave you a wide berth though.
>Something about being a “Invincible Monster”.
>Little pastel colored asshole’s.
>So you decided to go and bother the local nerd princess, see if she had any solutions to your predicament.
>Especially after getting her shit pushed in by the higher ups, she was supposed to play nice with you.
>A situation you were going to take full advantage off.
>Bursting through the door you announced yourself like a gentleman.
“Where all the white mare’s at?”
>Silence.
>What a fucking waste of a perfectly good entrance.
>”Oh hey Anon, if you’re looking for Twilight she’s gone. Something about a colt out west being abducted to be Some saddle Arabians concubine.”
>And there’s the little dragon.
“Well shit, alright just point me to the library then.”
>Time for plan B.
>Find the coloring books and color outside the lines.
>Because fuk da popo.
>And purple woul have a panic attack from it.
>But Twiggles didn’t have any coloring books because “My library is for serious learning”.
>Fucking uptight horse, she really needs to get a good dicking.
>Leafing through a random book you were getting bored.
“Ouch”
>Fucking papercut.
>Sticking the slowly starting to bleed finger in your mouth you winced.
>Fucking papercuts hurt yo.
>”Anon… I think I’m going to be sick.”
>The dragons here are pussies too?
“Just suck it up bro.”
>And he’s turning green.
>He’s gonna blow!
>Just like that Spike hurled, but instead of chunks it was green fire.
>Which set all the books ablaze.
>Looking around at the sheer chaos that was unfolding you did what any responsible adult would do.
>I’m out.
>>25734786
reminds me of that anon that burned down his friend's house and asked /mlp/ for a cute thread to feel better about it after getting away with it.
>>25734817
when did this happen?
>>25727655
twi w-why are you being so mean to me?
>>25734827
about a week ago
>>25734919
fuck, all this shit happens when I'm not here.
>>25734786
I like this train of thought
>>25735666
Ugh. Bump
>>25735666
Bumping
>>25734919
Any caps or links to said thread?
>>25734817
Jesus. I need to see this.
Also, maybe my brain just works differently from other people, but cute pictures don't make me feel better. I tend to just sit around feeling shitty.
>>25727655
>You look up from the onions you're chopping, and you're trying desperately to keep the tears in.
>God this burns SO BADLY
>And she knows it, that bitch.
>>25727655
>N-no, Twilight. I have to be strong for my senpai.
>>25735666
Hey there satan
>>25738535
Kek
>>25727655
"... Chimpo no ikari!"
>Twilight laughs.
>"PFFFT! Chimp wha-?"
>Before she can finish, your glowing red penis is unleashed.
"ATATATATATATATAT!"
>You begin slapping Twilight across the face with your red weapon.
>As you do, you gain momentum, gliding just above the floor, the purple pony, continuing to feel the Chimpo no ikari.
"ATATATATATATATAT!"
>Soon, you are going vertical, flying upwards, propelled by your ki infused penis.
"Namida o motte iru otoko no shasei!"
>You thrust, penetrating Twilight.
>Just then, your pure white hot beam fires, filling Twilight's womb before she shoots off into the sky.
>Continuing to fly as you watch, you cross your arms.
"Tokyo puma."
>The purple mare explodes, your white hot beam raining down.
>As you float there, you ponder how this could have been avoided if she just didn't call you a bitch.>Sniffling, you stammer out.
"And-And-And then, I would fly down, and-and-and Lyra would kiss me, and we'd have sex, and it'd be good!"
>Sobbing as Fluttershy pets your head, rocking you back and forth, you sniffle.
>"Shh, shh. I know. You'd show that mean ol Twilight what for."
>Fluttershy is your only friend!
>>25739507
Many fists of the Northstar
bampo
Last bump
>>25727655
"Hah, Anon, you fucking virgin"
>Be Twiloght Sprinkles
>It's been a month of Anon, and quite frankly you're tired of his shit
>Crass jokes and lewd comments won't stop
>The town is sick of hearing him go on about sex and gore
>It's time to put him in his place
>It took some study and a lot of theory, but you finally put two and two together
"Anon's a huge fucking virgin"
>A crowd gathers around you and anon
>Audible murmurs
>Anon himself is visibly stunned
>Shell shocked even
>Time to finish him
"What's a matter Anon? You gonna cry? Like a little bitch?"
>He tries and fails to suppress his aghast expression
>His eyes are leaking
>"Twilight, l-low blow man"
>You can't help your smug face
>"My dad was a virgin!"
>Wait, wat?
>Anon's crushed look is now burning with righteous fire
>"I can't help that this is how I was born, Twilight!! How dare you bring my parents into this and insult me with who I am!!"
>Your confussion is even doubled when the crowd starts murmuring again, but this time giving you dirty looks
>Pinkie Pie was shaking her head, and Applejack was hiding her face in her hat
"Wait, what, no Anon I-"
>"I try my best everyday, and I have to look in the mirror and face this every single day! Can you just imagine what it's like being a monster!?"
>Anon falls to his knees and covers his sobbing face
>You overhear whispers calling you a racist
"What no Anon this is completely-"
>"Just stop, Darling"
>Fluttershy breaks through the crowd and puts a comforting hoof
>"There, there Anon. It's okay, how bout we go home and I'll give you a blowjob"?
>Through his sniffling he slowly nods his head
>Fluttershy grabs his hand and leads him off as the crowd disperses visibly disgusted with you
"What?"
How'd I do?
>>25745109
Pretty fucking good. What a twist.
>Fluttershy breaks through the crowd and puts a comforting hoof
>"There, there Anon. It's okay, how bout we go home and I'll give you a blowjob"?
>>25727674
This would be a good premire/finale.
Twilight aquires fake friends, loses power, and is devistated by it. Quest to aquire old friends begins
Helianon plz.
>>25734786
Anon tells doctor that billions of the most basic creatures imaginable eat each other alive every day, and 1 out of every 5 of those in the ocean is killed by aa virus per day
>>25727655
Littlefoot's mom just died, I'm going to weep for days!
>>25746815
Or tell about World War 2 and the atom bomb.
>>25746831
Nah, in a world where most things are passive, it makes sense to assume they evolved from passive microbes, so the notion that the most basic life, the first on the planet, eats eachother alive would be horrifying
>>25746831
https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=YvGlBFjxvgY
>>25746815
Give me a little bit guys, I just finished work on another story. But I'll have a post for this tonight.
>>25746828
>Just Died
>Movie made in the 80's
Shes Fossil fuel now, anon.
Get over it.
>>25746815
>>25746737
How about this, it's actually bigger than I expected, I should have part 2 done tomorrow.
---
>After the whole incident where Spike almost burned down the library inside Twiggles castle, which you had no part in whatsoever, you made the decision to avoid town for a while.
>Everything was going to be fine.
>Besides, this whole thing was Spikes fault anyway.
>Little dude needs to grow a pair and not hurl over the tiniest thing.
>But yeah for now you were in the clear.
>No ponice coming to knock on your door with some questions.
>No awkward explanations to the princess of hayburgers.
>Besides you had a solid alibi just in case.
>You talked minty horse into backing up your side of the story in case the lizard squealed that you were there.
>All you did was have to promise to give her two hours of belly rubs and ear scratchies.
>The both of you would say that you were having a romantic date in the field by the everfree forest.
>Nobody ever went there due to the timberwolves.
>Except you.
>Those things were scared of you.
>Rightfully so, since the last one that got uppity got punted halfway to Canterlot.
>Little nigga tried eating your shoes.
>And you really liked those shoes.
>He got what he deserved.
>But yeah.
>You were in the clear for now.
*Knock, knock*
>Fuck me.
>>25748731
>Spoke too soon.
>”This is the royal guard.”
>Dammit.
>Okay play it cool.
>Opening the door you faced the two armored guards.
“Can I help you officers?”
>”Anonymous the Human, your presence has been requested by the Princess.”
“Which one?”
>”Princess Celestia of Equestria, Monarch of the sun, Master of the arcane…”
“Alright got it, get off her dick already.”
>These fucking guys man.
“Do I have a choice?”
>”Not really, no.”
“AM I BEING DETAINED?”
>You managed to scream the last part before you got teleported.
>When your eyes finally regained some focus you noticed two things.
>One, you were not in a cell.
>Two, Sunnybuns was there and she looked worried.
>Three, because you were bad at math, this place looked like a hospital.
>>25748748
“So not that I’m worried or nothing, but where the hell am I this time?”
>”Anonymous, I am truly sorry for this but out of concern I felt that this was a necessary step for your well being.”
>Looking around you a few things floated through your head.
>Hospital.
>Sterile surgical tools.
>Your well being.
>Instinctively you covered Anon jr.
“Fuck you, I already got snipped once as a kid, and I couldn’t even consent then!”
>”What are you talking about?”
“You mean you’re not trying to snip my shit?”
>”ANON, language.”
“Wait, snip is curse word here?”
>”No the other word, so kindly refrain from using it around others.”
“So if you’re not trying to turn me into a twigless guy, why am I here?”
>”After discussing it with my sister we have come to the conclusion that in order to for you to grow and flourish here you should speak with a psychiatrist.”
“Do I have any say in this?”
>”None.”
“Peachy.”
>Celestia looked relieved that you weren’t trying to fight her on this.
>Why would you.
>All you’d do is talk to a little horse and be on your merry way.
>How hard could this be?
>>25748767
Inb4 the psychiatrist is Discord.
>>25748767
more
>>25748767
I want to known who this therapist is.
>>25748767
Whoever Anon is about to speak to is gonna have their mind blown arn't they?
By popular demand.
---
>You stare at him.
>He stares at you.
>You stare at him.
>Okay now you’re bored.
>After walking into this little horse head shrink’s office you’ve done nothing but sit in the tiny chair and silently pass gas.
>You had bean burritos yesterday with extra onions.
>Shit will make a man out of you.
“So are we just going to sit here, because I got shit to do.”
>”Do you always feel like you have a lot to accomplish?”
“Yup, it’s this crazy thing called telling someone I will do something and then crazily enough I do it.”
>”And how does that make you feel?”
>Is he serious?
“Okay little horse dude, I’m only here because Sunbutt insisted. And the only reason I went through with it is because I may want to get in her sisters proverbial pants.”
>With a hmm the doctor wrote something down.
>How the fuck is he holding a quill with a hoof?
>”Alright Anonymous tell me about your family?”
“Really, you want to know about my family?”
>A nod was the response you received.
“Any particular member?”
>”Let’s start with your parents and work your way from there.”
>>25749230
“Sure why not. My dad was an alcoholic. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of him being drunk. Like this one time, you’ll get a kick out of this, he took me out in the middle of a lake and threw me out of the boat.”
“Fun part, I didn’t know how to swim.”
>You slapped your knee and wiped a tear from your eye.
>Good times.
“Then one time he decided that I needed to man up so he drove me to a forest in the middle of winter and left me there with only the clothes on my back.”
“Or how about the time he ran me over with a car, it’s like a metal carriage thing.”
“Now my mom, she was a saint. She tried to poison me once by putting mercury in my lunch.”
“So all in all my parents were pretty normal.”
>The doctor was sweating.
>Today you learned that ponies could sweat.
>Now you know and knowing is a step closer to being a true horsefucker.
>”Let’s move on then, do you have any siblings?”
“Oh yeah an older brother. We used to always prank each other.”
“Like this one time, he tied me up and shaved my head bald.
>”I’m sorry I asked. Would you excuse me for a moment.”
>With that the doctor got up and trotted out.
>Curiosity got the better of you so you headed to the door to eavesdrop.
>”Frankly I would lock him up in an asylum but I would honestly be worried for the other inmates.”
>”Will he get better?”
>”With all due respect princess, we’d sooner see Nightmare Moon volunteer at an orphanage than him be a upstanding member of society.”
>And here you thought I went well.
>”Why don’t we schedule weekly visits, we can’t give up on him.”
>Oh joy.
bampu
>>25749241
Please continue
>>25728114
Oh God I remember these threads.
>>25749241
This story got incredibly grim incredibly fast.
First, if Anon was lying, please make it clear. If he was doing it just to fuck with the ponies, make it clear as well, and provide at least a shred of reason for him to do so.
If he is serious, Anon doesn't seem believable at all in this story, because for someone with an apparently so fucked up past, he opens up about it immediately and so casually, a bit like how overly edgy characters will mention murder or rape offhandedly.
There's no buildup, no emotion, and comes across as author padding rather than character development.
If this is serious, it came across as stale, if he's lying, please make sure your audience knows.
>>25745109
This was exemplary
>>25728281
>read this
>realize I haven't popped my shit all day today
>stand up
>pop back in like 10 different spots
>crack neck
>crack knuckles
>pop toes
feelsgoodman.png
>>25745109
>"There, there Anon. It's okay, how bout we go home and I'll give you a blowjob"?
bumping for writefag
>>25750555
>This story got incredibly grim incredibly fast.
You and I have very different definitions of grim, dark, and edgy.
1)Getting thrown in the water
2)Being dropped off in the middle of nowhere
3)Getting accidentally clipped by a car.
4)Someone accidentally adding shit to your food
5)Sibling shaving your head
Man these things are what create serial killers. Don't take this story seriously, if you want to think Anon is just fucking with the ponies, go for it.
>>25727893
>star talking about the time you broke your noes at work and didn't even stop for a break.
>explain how you never visited the doctor about it, which is why you have a crook and small scar.
>explain how you dislocated your shoulder. And how even know it still kinda pops .
> watch as the all fall faint
> loot them while they're down.
>profit
>>25752978
>explain how you dislocated your shoulder. And how even know it still kinda pops .Watch as the all fall faint.
---
>So you got a new hobby.
>In all honesty it’s pretty fucked up and depraved but all in good fun.
>And nobody gets hurt.
>It starts off innocently enough.
>Go to a public setting and start a random chat with a pony.
>Most pony’s are gullible enough and trusting to simply have a chat without much prompting.
>That and they never learn from their mistakes.
>Because really, you’d think that after the umpteenth time you did this they’d learn.
>Oh well, more fun for you.
>So yeah, chat up a pony.
>Tell them a story of how you got hurt when you were younger.
>Elevate the severity and add a few sound effects and voila, a whole bunch of passed out ponies.
>Then the real fun begins.
>Oh look there’s Roseluck.
>What a horrible day to choose to go to market, or run in to you.
“Morning Roseluck! Hey you got a minute.”
>You waved at the passing by florist.
>She cocked her head to the side as if thinking about it.
>Its crap anyway, ponies would drop whatever they were doing to gossip and talk.
>”Yeah I have some time before I meet with some friends.”
“Cool, so I’m trying to see if my storytelling skills have improved.”
>”Oh I love stories!”
>So it begins.
>>25753705
“So this one time at band camp we decided to climb this huge oak tree.”
>The smile on Roselucks face grew as you started.
>And soon enough ponies that were walking to and fro stopped and began listening.
>Just like that you had yourself a little equine audience.
>This was way too easy.
“So after climbing all the way to the top, something horrible happened.”
>The crowd gave a collective gasp.
“The branch snapped and I went falling down. And then boom! Hit the ground.”
>You stomped the ground with your foot for added effect.
>Several ponies already had tears in their eyes from trying to guess what kind of booboo’s you received.
“But that wasn’t the end, when I hit the ground I landed on my arm. The whole weight of my body snapped it like the branch that broke earlier.”
>Time for the finishing move.
>You snapped a twig you were holding.
>Critical hit!
>And like that all the ponies were down.
>Man you were really getting good at this.
>But this is only part one of a master plan.
>Bringing out the contents of your backpack you set to work.
>Time waits for no man in a land of pastel colored miniature horses.
>>25753716
Be Twiggle Sporklite Esquire
>And you just finished briefing Princess Celestia on the latest trouble the resident human has caused.
>Face it if most ponies didn’t adore him, he would have been sent to some distant horrible place to never return.
>Like Detrot.
>Sweet Celestia did that place suck.
>Anyway, after all that it was time for a hayburger.
>One with everyth..
>The hay is that?
>The middle of town was covered in unconscious ponies.
>Some were sitting in various positions of ummm questionable nature.
>And most had socks on.
>A heavy blush made its way to your face.
>Looks like Anon got bored again.
>And where the heck does he keep getting these socks?
>Cause you kind of liked the midnight blue ones.
>>25753729
>most had socks on.
Kek
Good work anon
>>25753729
Anon should show knockout videos to the ponies they might think it's a public execution.
Boop
>>25727999
>garden gnomes
Henderson Anon please.
>>25727655
I can't help but see this image everytime
>>25753729
>>And where the heck does he keep getting these socks?
>Cause you kind of liked the midnight blue ones.
twilight pretends to be passed out in order to get free socks.
>>25756833
cuteness boner achieved from the thought alone
Last one guys, if another Anon wants to pick up where I left off feel free.
---
>In the land of magic and talking horses you could say there was a lot of stuff to do and see.
>Not really though.
>Shit got old fast.
>You even got tired of Anon’s story time and sock dressing.
>Much to Twiggles disappointment, which still didn’t make sense to you.
>Isn’t she supposed to keep order and shit around town?
>But yeah, that hobby got expensive.
>Ordering a lot of socks added up.
>And sending all those bills to the princess used up a lot of stamps.
>And those didn’t grow on trees.
>So you did something you haven’t done in a while.
>You decided to watch one of the movies on your tablet.
>When you showed up here you didn’t have a lot of stuff with you.
>Some textbooks, a tablet, and a trusty usb solar charger.
>Shit was great, took forever to charge anything, but given the current situation it’s a life saver.
>You bought the thing for a camping trip and kept it for just in case moments.
>After a short walk you settled yourself on a bench in the middle of the park.
>What to watch?
>Over two hundred gigs of movies, and you still didn’t know what you wanted to see.
>Truly first world problems.
>How about Jackass, just enough idiocy.
>And maybe it’d give you some ideas on how to occupy yourself later.
>Starting up the movie you leaned back and relaxed.
>Nothing like mind melting idiocy to bring on a sense of tranquility.
>”Hiya Nonny! Oooooh what’cha got there?”
>>25757612
>And Pinkie’s here.
“Just something from home, want to watch with me?”
>”Yeah, is it scary though?”
“No not really, but the humans here tend to go a little overboard with their pranks.”
>”I love pranks! Let me see.”
>And just like that you had one pink pony in your lap.
>Soon it turned into two more ponies attached to your sides watching with rapt attention.
>It didn’t take long but a crowd was gathered around you.
>Various Pegasi floated in the air and the unicorns were using a spell to magnify the image so they could see.
>Focusing back on the movie the scene just changed to the classic Johnny Knoxville getting shot in the stomach with a beanbag.
>Oh the classics never get old.
>Eagerly awaiting to see what would happen the ponies inched closer.
>In a split second the noise of the round and the human fell over on the screen.
>You only had a second to realize the folly of doing this in public as literally every pony fainted.
>This normally wouldn’t be so bad but the Pegasi all crashed on top of you, and the unicorns just fell over.
>Just like that you were completely covered by the forms of unconscious ponies.
>Not that you minded.
>They were soft.
>And Pinkie who was centered in your lap at the start was currently curled up on your chest.
>This wasn’t bad at all.
>They better not have broken your tablet though.
>You still had porn on there you needed to watch.
>>25727655
>>25757633
These are always nice
