Reversed Gender roles Equestria
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Damnit, Jim, it's a cockring, not a marriage proposal.
>>25566560
SHIKAKA
>>25566594
There's no difference between the two/
>>25565400
Holy shit Frosty this is amazedong how?
I will accept the dongring from you this is too perfect for this ghey errth
>all this Ponk love
I knew I wasn't alone in wanting green of her, but whenever I've asked around it's been all crickets and tumbleweeds. Good to hear that people are thirsty for some Funhorse love.
>>25567418
There would be more, but she's really hard to write without having her come off as a junkie or a madmare.
Frosty, hun, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you please finish the Magical Boy set? I-if that's all right with you, that is.
>>25567478
this, and Just Another pleaseunless i missed it already being completed
also speaking of old stories WHERE'S MY DARING DOUCH DAMNIT?!?
>>25567478
And don't forget good ol' girls.
>>25567290
Looking forward to more
Page 8 isn't great
>>25568130
I agree
Well, things seem to be moving kinda quick right now, and I'm just on my way home now.
Frosty, I absolutely love the way your write Pinkie. You capture every aspect of her personality and make it feel natural. Considering how little green there is of Pinkie, I hope that you will come back to what you had written in the last thread some day.
One-shot time.
It's the one where Anon doesn't know magical pony body language.
>You are Anon, and you like to think that life is pretty good right now.
>It's been a long time since you've arrived here in horseland. Maybe a year? You honestly aren't sure.
>Ponies don't count in base-10, and you're pretty sure that fucks things up for you.
>You've got no idea how long one full day lasts in this new world, and you felt tired all the time during your first two pony-months.
>But you are a human, and humans adapt.
>Regardless of how long you've been here for, what matters is that you've been her long enough.
>Long enough for ponies to trust you.
>Long enough to find employment and a place to live in.
>Long enough for hostility to turn to lust.
>Day whatever-the-fuck in Equestria.
>You are sitting out in a little patio garden just outside a local coffee shop, the Rise and Grind.
>The waitress doesn't need to take your order, since you come here nearly every morning.
>Large coffee; black.
>Sometimes the new gal will take a bit of convincing that no, you don't want a sweet, not-coffee beverage.
>And no, you aren't picking it up for your herdmare.
>Yes, you are sure.
>But you don't let it get to you.
>If your worst complaint is having to spend a few minutes arguing with a pony about how you want your coffee, then you reckon you've got it pretty good.
>Speaking of, your morning cuppa is taking a bit long to arrive.
>>25570220
>Bored and impatient, you begin to tap your fingers against the surface of your table.
>When that gets boring, you lean back in your seat and stretch your limbs out, which pop loudly.
>"Sir?"
>Oh! Coffee!
>You reach out with one hand to grab the mug out of the waitresses telekinetic grip, and fish out a few bits as a tip with your other.
>Before your waitress has the chance to turn around and get back to work, your neck is taken by a sudden and painful cramp.
>You fix this by violently twisting your head side to side.
>When you look back up, the waitress is staring at you in shock.
>So are a lot of the other customers, come to think.
>Day serving the human in Equestria.
>You are Thunder Honey, a unicorn mare working at the Rise and Grind in Ponyville.
>It's about 9 in the morning, which means that the human will probably turn up soon.
>For a creature that complains so much about time, he sure turns up like clockwork.
>You hope sempai will notice you today.
>You love the way he flirts with you every morning.
>Being the NEET mare that you are, nopony was more surprised by his behaviour than you were.
>You were subject to some mighty strong glares from some of his other admirers, let me tell you.
>Before you bring his coffee out, you bring it close to your muzzle and breath in and out.
>In and out. In and out.
>You try to pretend that this is what it would be like to share breath with Anonymous.
>But this shit's really pathetic, so you make sure that none of the other mares see you doing this.
>Oh god, Anon would think you were this gross creep if he knew that you fantasised about him.
>One of these day's you'll grow the ovaries to take Anon up on one of his offers.
>>25570251
>You bring his mug outside to his usual table, and prepare a warm greeting.
>He hasn't seen you yet, but that doesn't matter.
>He's stretching his limbs to show you that his body has a healthy range of movement.
>It always reveals a few strong sources of his scent, which is an expression of his interest.
>His joints pop and you are barely holding it together.
>He just told you that he's willing to risk injury in order for you to consider him as a mate.
>Oh Celestia you are so wet right now.
>You give your usual response: You twitch your ears back twice to clean up your magical aura (your friends tell you that colts can't stand a poorly-maintained aura).
>Next, you puff up your chest tuft to show off your magical capacity. You'll admit, it's a pretty modest tuft, but it's above average.
>Okay, no, it's average.
>Maybe slightly below average.
>Oh god you would KILL for a thicker tuft.
"Sir?"
>Your husbando sits back down on his weird human chair and smiles at you.
>His face is turning bright red.
>That dirty little colt is showing off just how well he can direct the flow of his blood.
>He's TOTALLY bragging to you. He wants you so badly.
>He practically TEARS the mug from your magical grip, and you start to feel hot under the collar.
>He just invaded your magic.
>He was INSIDE you.
>That was such an intimate gesture that you can't help but look around to see if anypony saw.
>By the looks a few customers are giving you, they had.
>Naughty colt.
>If you weren't the socially-awkward fuck that you were, you would have him pinned beneath you right now, on the shitty patio table.
>>25570271
>.....buck, nope, you can't do it.
>Not today.
>He's just too intimidating.
>You're about to turn around and reject his flirtations (once again), when you hear a sound that almost stops your heart.
>He's... cricking his neck.
>Anon, your beautiful innocent perfect husbando just wrung his head back and forth and cricked his neck.
>He's just destroyed his magical pheromone reserve glands.
>He can never alert surrounding mares that he's interested in forming a herd.
>This.... he did this for YOU.
>A stallion only does this if they're satisfied with the number of mares in his herd.
>From what you've heard around town, Anon doesn't even HAVE a herd.
>But for him to show he's satisfied after all the flirting he's done....
>He just asked your hoof in horsemarraige.
>Oh goodness when did you start crying?
>You think you hear gasps around you, but you're focusing on your delicate, dedicated Anon.
>You leap up into his lap, spilling hot coffee all over the table, and kiss him.
>You've never kissed anypony before, and you hope you're doing it right.
>When you break away, you lay your head on his shoulder and nuzzle his neck to claim him as your own.
>You do your dumb horse-face laugh and bear your teeth to declare to those around you that you've accepted his proposal.
>The two of you are going to be so happy together.
And that's the story of how Anon courted a mare for a months and asked her hand in marriage without ever realizing he was doing it.
>>25570289
Did they fuck?
>>25570353
Right then and there in public in order to establish dominance.
>>25570367
Good.
>>25570367
>establish dominance.
Wait, who's doing the establishing?
>>25570289
>Anon doesnt have the heart to crush the poor little ponies dreams
>At least she knows all the good anime or whatever the fuck they call that shit in horsetopia
>>25567534
There is ALWAYS an undercurrent of demand for Daring Douche.
>>25570462
Thunder Honey is. By showing that she is the dominant partner despite the weight of Anon's actions, she is expressing that she is capable of handling anything he gives her.
>>25570497
I get by by listening to wutan.
>>25570600
Is he the one doing the readings on youtube? They were surprisingly well done audiobook versions of the story, last I checked.
Though, I generally prefer reading it, for the ease of re-reading something if my attention lagged for a moment, and the fact that saying something out loud slow enough to be understandable is absurdly slow compared to just reading something.
>>25570627
I guess? i just know his name's on it
it's nice to have that playing in the background when you're doing something else.
>twilight decides that she wants to seduce anon
>treats him like a mare should treat a colt
>magiclally opens doors for him
>pulls his chair out for him
>anon catches wind of this and the two end up passive-aggressively trying to out-gentleman/mare each other
writefags go
>>25570289
I cri evry tiem
>>25570289
Very cute
>>25570289
>You do your dumb horse-face laugh and bear your teeth to declare to those around you that you've accepted his proposal.
kek'd
>>25570251
Wait.
>>Being the NEET mare that you are
>NEET
>Has a job at the coffee shop
>>25570289
>>You leap up into his lap, spilling hot coffee all over the table, and kiss him.
>>spilling hot coffee all over the table
>Pony just spilled Anon's coffee
Fuck this bitch.
REMOVE PONY FROM PREMESES
>>25570497
undercurrent my ass. its a major tributary of the nile.
speaking of how bout some more Cuddle Jane "the" Wings?
>>25571776
Maybe being a NEET in Equestria is the same as in Denmark, were they will do everything they can to push you into a job. This is done by them finding you an internship at whatever place wants free labour.
I was a NEET for 1 month and I had to work that month at a hostel, doing garden work.
They were so impressed with my work, that they paid me me a little, even if they didn't have to and gave me a job as a Gardner/"Carry all the heavy stuff and remove spiders" (I'm the only male working there.)
It's pretty fun work most of the time and the people are pleasant,so I can't complain. Beats my old job as a nude model for the local art school.
>>25572133
>I was a NEET
>and I had to work
Then you were not a NEET.
If your country forces you to work in your country then no one is a NEET. If you are employed you disqualify from NEETdom period. Sorry anon turn in your GDP.
>>25572159
NEET stands for "Not in Education, Employment, or Training".
I wasn't any of those. I worked, but I wasn't employed at that time.
>>25572178
>I worked, but I wasn't employed
employed
adj.
used
adj.
in a job; working
If you are working you are employed. Furthermore if you can put whatever you did on a resume or otherwise use it to get a job that is considered training thus violating the T of NEET.
Get good scrub.
>>25572133
>gave me a job as a Gardner/"Carry all the heavy stuff and remove spiders" (I'm the only male working there.)
B-but... That's sexist! Those women should be entirely willing to do the hard work and getting rid of the scary spiders, just like you are.
Denmark's supposed to be one of the most equal countries in the world, after all.
>>25572273
no matter where
now matter when
women are stilldelicate flowers
>>25572220
Employ:
The state of being employed for wages or a salary
Not the case here, I was given welfare and had no contract with the company. Being employed isn't just about doing a job or working. Otherwise, being put into slavery would be classified as employed
In Training:
the process of bringing a person, etc, to an agreed standard of proficiency
Being in training means being guided and, well, trained by professionals at an establishment. Me repairing cars in my garage doesn't count as being in training, even if I put that on my resume. Reparing cars at certified carshop under guidance counts as being in training.
>>25572295
>Otherwise, being put into slavery would be classified as employed
Yeah I wouldn't call a slave a NEET either as would most people.
>>25572295
>Being in training means being guided and, well, trained by professionals at an establishment.
Nigger if your doing anything internship or job preparing at all would disqualify you from NEETdom. Being a NEET is a very strick state of being where you are doing absolutely fucking nothing useful or productive at all. If you are at all contributing back to whatever is feeding you or using said time to prepare or gain a job you ain't a NEET. I'm sorry if you want your chins cred, but it ain't happening. You aren't being the despicable parasite r9k knew you could be.
>>25572295
Internships are almost always considered a form of training dude.
>>25572612
I'm just saying that a NEET is someone not employed, not in the middle of and education and not in the middle of being trained for a profession.
I'm well aware that on 4chan and /r9k/ in particular, NEET has become a badge of honour and a lifestyle, but by government standards, I was considered a NEET. It even said so on my tax papers.
>Human raised by matriarchal minotits since earliest childhood
>Human manly old-fashioned blue-collar worker (like welder or smth) that got zapped to Equest
>Minotitman is a scrawny hornless constantly horny slutty androgynous mino that is way too mouthy for his own good that freak
>Manman gives shits long enough that he is finally allowed to woodwork like his father taught him (how positively scandalous!) and twists teats and lives like a windrammmer as he fucks and pnoys want his D because he's just so strong and sleeps all night and works all day
>Minotitman bails to Equestria because minotits are strong obsessive controlling cunts and don't give him no breaks in their minotitting (and he's a strong independent freak-mino that don't need no tits), while pnoys are rumored to be gentler creatures
>The two meet
when
>>25573065
Never ever.
>>25573276
oh...
>>25573065
This isn't the worst idea ever, but maybe you should stop trying to idea. It's not for you.
>>25571042
"No, no, please. You go first."
>You hold the prompt open for the anon
THE END
>>25571776
Is it not possible to be a NEET at heart, despite employment?
>>25574291
I think that may be called laziness.
>>25574417
I'll bet the cute nickname that Thunder Honey's parents gave her was "disappointment".
>>25574870
Hey that was mine too :^)
>>25575057
>>25574870
With a name like Thunder Honey, she sounds like a Thor worshipper who makes mead. Or at least that's what her parents wanted for her.
What's the type of music a middle school wannabe goth would listen to? I have an idea for a green, but still planning it out.
>>25575622
Well, she makes the morning mead of humans, so close enough.
>>25575624
Slipknot, Disturbed, Skillet, stuff like that
>>25575813
>mead for breakfast
You're a pretty good guy, Shuk.
nooo i don't wanna be equal
Everyone is equal now.
Equal rights for Stallions. Down with the Matriarchy.
>>25576445
>Matriarchy
>not maretriarchy
C'mon man, that one writes itself.
(Just so we're clear, I have NOT seen the new episode yet, so there aren't spoilers in this post.)
>Starlight Glimmer makes everyone equal and rules over everyone
>equal laws, rights and everything
>stallions can't cope with it and complain
>they blame Starlight for not making it equal enough for stallions because she's a mare
>makes a rule 63 clone of herself to rule together which will hopefully shut them up
>Dicklight complains that it's not equal enough until Starlight is forced to give stallions more rights than mares
>yay equality
>>25576627
Truly, they were a friendship is Magic.
>>25576627
don't say things like that, Equals. don't ruin rgre for me.
>>25579033
What's the matter? Don't you want us to be equal, and for stallions to be treated better?
>>25579324
Look at stallions:
>weak-willed
>easily tricked
>need to be pampered by their herdmates in order to be happy
>whiny just all the time
Mares:
>hard-working
>don't need to be coddled
>willing to sacrifice so much to provide for their herd
>just look at how well they're running Equestria
Glad you like the one-shot, Anons. They're fun and easy to write.
>Be Anon
>Be in hospital
>Be subject to really disgusting infection
>It's been a week since you've had your wound treated by the magical horse doctors.
>It's healing rather nicely, and all you really need to do is rest in the hospital until it's fully healed.
>You've made peace with Twilight, and have come to an understanding.
>She's going to give you a crash course on Equestrian law and, in exchange, you have to give her a detailed interview/study on human sexuality.
>That means she got to see your hot monkey dick.
>You were initially reluctant when she expected a demonstration (as well as a sperm sample), but things got weird when Rainbow Dash offered to help.
>That's another thing about herds, apparently.
>There's some sort of power balance between the alpha-mare and the herd-colt.
>If the herd-colt ruts a mare and the alpha-mare approves, then the first mare has the opportunity to join their herd.
>After that, any kind of casual sex between a herd-colt and a herd-mare are met with indifference by the other herd-mares.
>This surprise came BEFORE you learned more about Equestrian law, so you initially thought that Twilight was bullshitting you.
>But then Rainbow Dash stuck your penis in her mouth and Twilight "Rapebow Dash" Sparkle didn't bat an eye at it.
>A very hot and bothered Twilight left with her research notes just a week before you were released.
>With a newly-healed arm (which left you with a bit of a nasty scar), you walk out of the hospital under your own power walk home with your herd-mate, Rainbow Dash.
>You're immediately met with a small horde of ponies.
>They all have the same book in their magic/mouths, and the ones who can speak are shouting questions at you.
>One even tosses her book at your feet.
>"The Human Male: My Experiences with Anonymous. Written by Twilight Sparkle."
>>25579786
Kinda weak ending bro. Even for a silly shit story
>>25580294
No no no, Equals, this isn't over yet. This is me finding out the scene I had for the hospital was a bit shit. We're just in the next scene now.
>>25580519
Keep going then Analplug. Can't wait to read what happens next.
>>25579786
>Sweat beads down your forehead.
>You can feel them staring at you.
>Undressing you with their eyes
>Fucking you with their imagination.
>You can't show weakness now, or they'll all descend on you.
>To you right, Rainbow's hopping on her back legs. Her wings are spread wide, and she's making angry bird noises.
>To your left, Twilight has poofed herself up with magic. You hear what you think sounds a bit like a sparkler, but you dare not take your eyes off of the crowd.
>You pick the book up and begin to leaf through it.
>.........
>This is a picture book.
>What is WRONG with this place?
>You turn the page and a cardboard replica of your penis erupts from the book and nearly takes your eye out.
>Sorry, no, this is a POP-OUT book.
>"P is for Penis, and that's good enough for me."
>>25579786
>>25580750
>Denying my revenge boner
You were warned
>>25580868
>>25580750
>>"P is for Penis, and that's good enough for me."
"Come in Sides, requesting confirmation of orbit, over."
>>25580750
Oh god damn it, my sides. And I just found them again too.
>>25580868
>>Denying my revenge boner
>You were warned
>>25574291
No since it's entirely contradictory to the term. NEET isn't slang for lazy social recluse or some shit.
>>25580750
>You have no words.
>Life had never prepared you for anything like this.
>You kind of want to cry, if you're being honest with yourself.>Nobody told you life was gonna be this way *clap clap clap clap*
>The last few pages have an interview transcript between Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony, as well as a few other ponies you know.
>"Interview of Rainbow Dash, by Twilight (age 23)"
>(TS: "Explain to me, in your own words, what your night with Anonymous was like.")
>(RD: "Are you sure it's okay for me to talk about this? It's kind of private.")
>(TS: "Don't worry, I got permission.")>I want to see the receipts
>(RD: "Alright. At first I thought I was doing something wrong. It had been a whole thirty seconds, and Anon still hadn't cum.")
>(TS: "How long did he take?")
>(RD: "Five whole minutes.")
>Yeesh. You guess you had been pretty pent-up these last eight months.
>(TS: "And he hadn't taken any kind of endurance-enhancing drug beforehoof?")
>(RD: "Uh, Twilight? You said that you tested his blood for drugs and you didn't find any.")
>(TS: "Yeah, I know, Rainbow. I have to be thorough for the interview.")
>(RD: "Fine, sure, whatever. No, he did not take any drugs.")
>The interview concludes with some medical bullshit about the wonders of human stamina.
>....And some hinting that you would be available to help during something called "estrus".
>Is she whoring you out?
>>25582032
Oops, my bad. I meant social recluse.
>>25582063
>The remaining interviews go about the same way.
>Applejack says that you're a hard-worker (although she voices the opinion that you don't spend enough time putting that hard work to use in the kitchen)
>Rarity says that you have a good eye for fashion, but hints that it's more because you're a colt, and less because you come from a society where clothing isn't optional.
>Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy give generic, "he's a good boy who dindu nuffin" responses, which is fine.
>You don't really know them all that well anyway.
>That weird cyan pony (whose name is apparently "Lyra") and her terrible horsewife go on to say how friendly and low-maintenance you are, and that they regret not snatching you up when they had the chance.
>"Anonymous, if you're reading this, Bonnie and I will buck you to sleep every night if you let us in your herd."
>Sweet deal.
>Oh hey an interview with Rosie.
>Hi Rosie.
>She talks about how she doesn't have to walk on eggshells around you, and says that you're just one of the mares.
>The quote she used was "He's like a mare except with a cock."
>...And Twilight has left a little illustration of that on the page, just in case the imagery escaped any of the readers.
>>25582099
>The entire thing seems like a circle-jerk that boils down to "he's a cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything"
>And the mares are eating it up.
>Looks like a unicorn has brought a sign with her.
>"ay bby u want sum fuk?"
>You are AnalplugAnon, and your story has run out of steam.
>Unsure of what else to do with the plot and with no decent opportunity for a satisfying ending in sight, you decide to end the story with a "where are they now" thing.
>Twilight was eventually forgiven by Anon for stealing his hand in horsemarriage.
>She would eventually convince him to have sex with her when she revealed that human and pony DNA is similar enough that it was theoretically possible for them to conceive.
>A big rule for a herd is that the alpha-mare has to get pregnant before any other mare. If any other mare gets pregnant first, they are cast out of the herd and will have to support a foal all on their own. Herds very rarely took in a mare with child.
>Rainbow Dash was a surprising stickler for the rules, and encouraged you to have sex, b-but only if you were comfortable with it.
>No more Rainbow sex was had until Twilight was with foal.
>>25582117
>Rainbow Dash had to wait months before she could fill her rainbow-vag with your human penis-cock.
>To work off the sexual frustration, she trained even harder for the Wonderbolts, and eventually made it in.
>She used the money she made to open up a small business that sold dildos moulded after your penis.
>It was a huge success.
>Applejack made an honourable colt out of Caramel.
>She saw him as her perfect virgin husbando, and he filled the role very well.
>She retired with six children, and the farm prospered.
>She died at the age of 55 when she rammed a human-dildo too far up her ass.
>Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy can fuck right off for all I care.
>Lyra and Bon Bon joined Anon's herd, and they kept their promise of fucking him to bed each night.
>The sexual exhaustion was the high point of each day for Anon.
>Anon settled down with his mares, and eventually learned to love them all.
>He found room in his heart for one more, years later: A mare by the name of Love Strudel.
>They had a foal together that they named "Midnight Magic"
>Anon had two other children: Velvet Glory with Twilight, and Thunder Cunt with Rainbow Dash.
>He fucked them every single day.
THE END.
>>25582159
what
>>25582159
A beautiful ending.
>>Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy can fuck right off for all I care.
Made me smirk and almost laugh.
>>25582159
>Thunder Cunt with Rainbow Dash
I bet that pony has a special talent mares would kill for.
>>25582159
Aren't you forgetting someone?
>>25582159
>Thunder Cunt
Oh fuck off, coffee out the nose is not pleasant.
>>25582690
Who did I forget?
>>25582159
Gotta admit I wanted at least something bad to happen to Twilight and even as a funny end it was pretty weak Anal
>>25582789
Rarity! Where is she now?
>>25582854
Oh, fuck. I don't know, she moved to Canterlot or something. Everypony called her a faggot because she liked fashion and wore make-up.
This story started going downhill when Anon got drunk with Dash.
Sorry about that, Anons. The next one will be better.Maybe I should stick to one-shots.
>>25582854
She dies alone with her dresses. Her dying words were: "I wish for a world without earthies."
>>25582953
It was fine when they were getting drunk, in my opinion. It felt like somewhere during inside the hospital was when it started falling apart. You could pick it back up after a few weeks and start from when you want, re-write it.
>>25583004
I might just do that, Anon.
>>25582953
Don't feel bad mate - I write with a minimal amount of planning.
And >>25583004
is probably going to be your best option. Nothing wrong with starting over, especially on something that has potential.
And if >>25583639
is your plan - practice in the mean time.Hell, I've got a few things I've written but never posted.
>>25583639
For what it's worth, I still enjoyed your story. You do have a knack for comedy so keep on writing as I'd love to see more from you and other aspiring writefags.
>>25582953
>>25583004
Honestly I feel it started to fall apart when Anon didn't stand up for himself against Twilight's deception.
>>25585996
word.
My edges screamed in pain as they were broken one by one.
>>25572667
>I'm well aware that on 4chan and /r9k/ in particular, NEET has become a badge of honour and a lifestyle
I don't think I've ever seen this used in any way that was not absurdly insulting other than one post in a troll thread.
>>25574291
>>25574417
I think that's just most people.
Getting stuck in a dead-end job and doing nothing to try to improve your situation. Gradually letting your mind degrade and fade into uselessness, not bothering to stay in shape at all.
Basically, any adult who's been in the world for a while, but would not be able to pass high school if they were surprised with all the classes' final exams at once.
I think we might need to draw a difference between "has an income at a mindless, soul-sucking workplace" employment and "is actively involved in their work and continues to learn new, relevant skills to help in their day to day lives" employment / careers.
>>25572667
>It even said so on my tax papers
You have a NEET check box on your tax forms?
Also if you're working, even as an intern, you aren't a NEET
Hey Frosty, what's going on with Caramel? Honestly, Caramel-verse is a better love story than most of the stuff posted here.
>>25586520
taxes here are done automatically, but you can go in and change it manually.
The government declared me a NEET, so I was entitled to a certain kind of welfare. These welfare informations are then sent to the tax office and shows up in my tax papers.
I was sent out by the government, to be an intern somewhere because I was a NEET.
In my case, I only needed welfare for a month, but if I had to need welfare for longer, there would also be periods were you wouldn't have to do anything, other than sending out job applications.
I think people are miss understanding the system here.
>You are without a job, not in education and aren't in training.
>The government classifies you as a NEET
>You get a certain kind of welfare
>They will sent you out somewhere if they can. You can decline a few times, but they will take you welfare away if they deem you unreasonable.
>Most places you are sent out to don't put you on a contract or anything. The government still sees you as a NEET, since your current situation hasn't changed in terms employment and the money you get are coming straight out of the taxpayers pockets.
Also, internship is a very loose term here, especially when it comes to students and younger people. Usually, you don't become an intern for a certain position, but rather, you become an intern to the workplace. It's more like "Free Work" jobs.
Those few times I have done internships, the stuff I did was completely unrelated to the workplace's primary function.
Things are probably way different in America
Also, why the hell am I discussing this. I should focus more on discussing gender roles and sexism in a reverse gender role society filled with multicoloured cute ponies.
Rara's backup dancers. They were stallions. We can probably do something with that.
>>25587377
Aaargh why the hell can't we do the things you do in Denmark and in other Scandinavian countries.
>>25588215
Scandinavia has come a long way since the days of the vikings. Do your Arab overlords know you're using the devil machine? I think your kek ass is gonna get pounded tonight, no lube as punishment.
I want warrior Zecora to try and defend my honor.
>>25588338
I'm from burgerland.
And I'm voting for Bernie "I love Denmark" Sanders. Just to see what happens if he wins.
>>25588338
Scandinavian dude. No lube is a a special privilege.
Also, can the misplaced nationalism. We're all about love and tolerance (allegedly).
>>25588405
I can't believe an admitted socialist is allowed to run. This year's candidates are shit, like usual.
>>25588385
>dat Zecora
I am usually not a fan of hers, at least aesthetically. As a character she's fine, and the rhyming bit is neat, but she was never fun to look at.
That version of her though? Fucking awesome. They need to run her like that more often.
>>25588385
>>25588720
>Everypony was afraid of Zecora before Twilight came, but not for being different
>She defended the honor of a stallion from a stallionless herd and beat the crap out of them without a scratch
>The rumors about how she did it escalated to the point where people said she used evil spells to call spirits to fight them
>>25588720
>character that represents the blacks
>raps all the time
>>25588958
>rapping is rhyming
>rhyming is rapping
No.
>implied SJW'ing
I'm sorry the show triggered you, =. Do you need a safe space?
>>25589154
no i just thought it was funny and was bringing attention to it. jesus christ do i have to call them niggers to avoid getting called an sjw
Prompt:
Remember that one story about Anon getting a fluffy jacket and it made him sexy to pones?
>Anon begins to grow beard
>Not allowed to have a razor because RGRE
>Beard grows into mountain man beard over the course of a few months
>super fucking fluffy
>the change in Anon's fluffy-ness (and increase in hotness) was so gradual that nopony noticed it happening
>They become more and more attracted to Anon with each day and they have no idea why, assuming they notice their feelings for him changing
Any inspiring words/pics that you guys think will get me to the end of Barbarian Celestia?
>>25589365
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BUumw7f8EQ
>>25588515
How's that McCarthyism going for you?
>>25589365Teat-twisting
>>25589365
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmTz7EAYLrs
>>25589365
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9ZKCEN-NAA
>>25589365
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1MuvvS_xSw
>>25589314
I think it would be funnier if that were intimidated about the amount of fluff that Anon managed to grow. Their tufts are small and inadequate in comparison.
>>25589314
Guan Yu, aka "The Beautiful Beard", in Equestria.
What pony could resist the fluff of a man who is known through history for his awesome beard?
>>25590250
this
we must summon a writefag
I wrote thing.
>"Really Darling I do think that you could do so much better than...eugh, khakis..."
>Wiping your nose you shrug at the white mare.
"Now Shelia, if I din't wear these I'd wind up ruining whatever it is that I'm wearing."
>Grabbing the cloth in your hand you flap it about.
"Jean's are too tight and constricting, not to mention it lets my danglies breath!"
>Aww her little snout is adorable when it scrunches like that.
>"WELL, 'dangly bits' aside, I feel like I could offer you so much more than the rather bland uniforms you wanted Darling, are you sure you won't reconsider?"
>Tapping a finger to your chin you hum in thought.
"Tell you what, you make me one outfit for a survival expedition and I'll try it out for ya. Sound fair?"
>Giddy at the thought Rarity quickly nods her head, "Oh Darling, it will ever be so wonderful to finally unleash my full artistic flair for your form! Now if you don't mind..."
>Sighing you resume your pose on the display stand.
>>25590250
>>25590250
>>25590327
Celestia herself cannot withstand the beard. She must claim him for her own, and indeed she weds him. This ushers in a new age, with new prosperity under a new king: King Tuft.
>>25590653
"Alright Shelia, get the crocker out your gab."
>"Sometimes I wonder just how you came across such varied, vernacular Anon."
"Comes with the territory of course."
>Ribbons and measuring tape fly across and under you as the mare gets to work.
>You notice that most of them are earthy colors mixed in with a gem or two.
"Shelia?"
>"Hmm?"
"I won't be able to sneak up on any lil critter, if'n I'm bedazzled like a sparkler."
>"Oh don't mind those their just there to help put it all together! And you did say I could do what ever I wanted."
>Damn, she does have a point.
"Fine, fine."
>"By the way Darling, I'm ever so grateful you're willing to actually 'talk shop' as it were with me."
>Lifting your arm up for her to measure you make a questioning noise.
>"It's just that in the fashion world it's a colt's world as it were. Most of those who make it to the top tend to be VERY demanding and happen to be colts as well. I know most of the other girls aren't into it as I am and think I'm just being silly with my dresses."
>Seeing the danger signs of a sad horse you reach down and scratch behind her ear, careful of her mane, after all a Raritous Bucina can be quite angry if you mess with their mane, not like the Sweetus Cacabulus, cute lil thing.
>Surprised Rarity looks up at you and smiles sheepishly, "I'm sorry, here I am whining about my fashion woes and you're listening to me go on, did you want to talk about something else Darling?"
"Nah Shelia, it's fine, matter of fact I was hoping to ask you more about what you had planned for this little outfit."
>"Oh well, if you're sure...?"
"Hit me with your best shot."
>"In that case," Rarity grins as more bolts of cloth float into view, "I was thinking of a outfit that was baggy, yet clingy, something durable but areable as well. Possibly inspired by the minotaurs from Minos. They do have such lovely robes after all."
>>25590676
"Yeah that would be rather nice, but I often get rough with my clothes, if it's a robe how it going to stay together?"
>"That would be the crux of the problem, if I was doing a robe, I was thinking more along the lines of a light tunic with a jacket overcoat for wear and tear. The inner tunic would be light and possibly silk to resist stains and give better air flow. The jacket possibly from spider weave, though that might be expensive, they do often charge so much for the material..."
"Spider weave? Now what in the world is that Shelia?"
>Rarity answers while peering at some of the bolts she has before her, "Oh just spider silk that has been threaded into cloth, it's ever so expensive as the spiders often charge it whatever they want, they make the stuff organically and are the only ones to sell it."
>Spiders?
>The amount of silk they would need for cloth...
>A great grin crosses your face, now you remember why you love this place.
"Where might I come across some of these spiders by chance?"
>"Oh I could take you to where I meet my supplier they often show up in Canterlot hence why it's so expensive, was there a-
>Turning the mare's face quickly about faces at your expression, "Anonymous! No! Fluttershy told me about your fascination with all things animal, and while I can understand you being in a hobby you are NOT going to ruin one of my business contacts to satisfy your urges!"
"I would never do such a thing!"
>You totally would.
>"Yes you would!"
>Shoot.
"Well how else am I supposed to learn about the animals of this world without meeting them first hand?"
>"Darling, one simple word; Twilight."
"...Ech...I really don't want to tango with her to be honest..."
>"Why ever not? You both have a fascination with studying strange things and poking them with sticks."
>Feigning a hurt heart you hold a hand up.
"I'm hurt you think of me so."
>Rarity simply waves a hoof at you, "You have MUCH thicker skin than that Darling, now shoo I have work to do!"
>>25589365
Lo there do I see my mother; Lo there do I see my father, my sisters and my brothers; Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning. Lo, they do call me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.
>>25590718
That movie was hit and miss, but that scene was tight.
>>25590653
>make me one outfit for a survival expedition
>Survival Expedition.
>A colt.
>On a Survival Expedition.
>Where they will have to work hard at surviving.
>Meaning that they're deliberately going into a situation where they're risking NOT surviving.
>Rarity doesn't seem to have anything to say about this.
Attention faggots: Disregard everything in Coffee Burn that happens after the sex scene. That is all.
Love,
AnalplugAnon
xoxoxo
>>25590859
>implying she wasn't having dirty thoughts about the outfit being torn in a sexy manner, and how much peril the poor colt would be in
>implying she wouldn't volunteer to nurse the colt back to health and defend him
Nigga please, rararararara is still rarararara, even in RGRE
>>25590859
That is a good point...I'm better at cute stuff instead of lewd, or implied lewd.
>>25590859
>That Rararara thinks that Anon is actually serious about going on an expedition.
>Rarara giving him something that isn't top unf in sexy colt edition.
>Also Rainbow may or may not have something over Rarara's head and is making her create a Daring Do cosplay for Anon instead.
>>25590869
>Attention faggots: Disregard everything
Way ahead of you.
Alright. Remind me tomorrow morning(about 10 hours) that I need to post this next bit of Barbarian sunhorse.
>>25590869
There were two stories with that premise, and I can't remember which one was yours or which sex scene you're talking about.
If you're planning on retconning something, you should probably just start the next section with a "Last time on PONY BALL Z" segment.
>>25590713
>"Well how else am I supposed to learn about the animals of this world without meeting them first hand?"
>>"Darling, one simple word; Twilight."
So, if they don't know something, they just have Twilight explain it to them? Sounds legit.
Also, Crocodile Hunter Twilight trailing Crocodile Hunter Anon would be cool. Loving these greens.
"I... I don't understand officer. You arrested me and put me in this cell because?"
>"For your own safety and that of the other colts around you of course!"
"I was holding a pencil. Y'know, to write with or in this case free drawing lessons?"
>"Ah, but it was a SHARP pencil! You could've poked yourself!"
>"So don't you worry your pretty little head, we contacted Princess Twilight Sparkle to come and pick you up when you learn your lesson about carrying sharp objects!"
"Wait. You called-"
>crash!
>"ANON! Oh my goodness, I heard what happened! Thank Celestia you are alright!"
"It's a goddamn pencil, not a knife"
>"A sharp pencil! Come here, let's get you home so we can draft a law banning the sale and use of pencils to colts unless they are with a mare."
>Today was an "unleaded" kind of day.I can't think of anything witty
Bump
>>25592848
You tell me. I was on a 40k purging spree because of caffeine. It just hurts now.
Finale proves poni war consists of slapfights and tactical hugging. Go watch if you haven't already.
>>25593181
I like to think that all pony wars reduces itself into slap fights like that. Of course, with hooves, it probably hurts a lot more than human slaps.
>>25593237
>>25593181
I was waiting for them to headbutt each other, and for the fandom edits to take the idea of a forehead shank to it's logical conclusion. Just like the image of a pony pushing her friend up the ladder being edited to be a unicorn pushing her friend with her head.
>>25593123
While that is true, and hilarious, in defense of evil ponies there was boulder throwing as well.
>>25593604
Paper mache.
>>25593181
Ha, this one is pretty good.
Mares are and always will be the superior gender
>>25591241
Do the thing, you shit.
>>25595888
Fine.
Green. Pastebin here to catch up.http://pastebin.com/pMyyNYzn
>Numerous nicks and scratches cover both you and Anon as you push through the final enemies in the castle.
>Only one large wood door remains, the last barrier between you and your opponent.
>Steeling your resolve, you shoulder through the door, raising your axe with a battlecry.
>Only to find the room empty.
>Anon follows behind you, confusion evident on his face.
>"Where is he? Hiding, maybe?"
"Search around, but be careful," you reply, keeping your axe ready.
>Looking around, you gingerly knock around boxes and other objects, waiting for Discord to pop out.
>"Over here!" Anon calls, and you rush to his side.
>On the throne, where Discord should be, is a note.
>*To the white horse and the alien, I decided it would be more fun for us to fight at the entrance after all. See you there, Discord.*
>As you finish reading the note, it bursts into confetti, which then burns up while making rude noises.
>Anon looks at you, and you just sigh.
>This thing is infuriating, whatever it is.
"Back to the entrance, I guess."
>"You know, I now kind of wish we could have just blown up this castle with some explosives."
"I doubt we could get hold of enough."
>"True, but a man can dream."
"Right now, I'm dreaming of destroying Discord and getting back home for a good rut and sleep."
>Anon pats you on the back, saying, "Always thinking with your flank first, huh, Celestia."
>Resting your axe on your back, you give him a flick with your tail.
"Let's just get back to the entrance and crush this... thing."
>The trip back through the castle is much quicker than the first trip through, since all the monsters are dealt with and what few traps there were are sprung.
>And, as you would expect, the main door is closed, despite being left open before.
>>25595957
>Shoving through, Discord is there, sitting on a throne suspiciously similar to the one from the throne room.
>"Welcome, dear foes, to the final fight of your life!" He proclaims, raising his mismatched claws to the sky.
>Thunder crashes down, and lightning peals across the skies.
>Wait, that's backwards...
>It doesn't change that it's happening in front of you.
>Anon notices it as well, and you can feel his magic building up.
>Electric protection magic soon surrounds both of you, and Discord's eyes narrow.
>"Now that's not fun, preparing before we start fighting, but then again, I wouldn't really be an evil villain if I didn't do that too."
>Leaning behind the throne, he stage whispers, "Is everything ready?"
>Another head just like his pops out and nods, before dissapearing with a poof.
>"Good, it wouldn't do if my preparations weren't done."
>Rushing forward, you swing at him, only to find yourself several feet short.
>"Ponies these days, so impatient. I was just getting to the good part."
>Claws drag through the skies, statues of him rising from the stonework.
>They creak to life, lunging at you and Anon.
>Swinging around into the first, your axe chips it, causing it to stumble, but does far less damage than you had hoped for.
>Flames light up on your axe, your magic flowing into it.
>The second swing rips a large gouge out of the statue, making you smile.
>Going to town on the statues, Anon supports you from behind while Discord watches while sipping what looks like chocolate milk.
>While neither the fastest nor strongest foes you have faced, they are durable and agile, their bodies twisting unnaturaly when attacking or evading.
>Thankfully you have Anon supporting you, as the damage from their strikes would add up quickly.
>After several statues have fallen, and those that remain are damaged, Discord seems to finish his drink, before throwing it away.
>>25595963
>The moment it hits the ground, it explodes violently, causing everyone, Discord included, to look over there.
>"Well, that would explain why it tasted funny..." he comments, rising from his throne, "but enough of that, it's time for me to join in."
>Raising his claws, you prepare yourself for whatever he might do.
>Magic seemingly appears out of nowhere around him, barely giving you time to change your stance before it shoots at you, spell forming mid flight.
>With a poof, suddenly a bunch of roses are flying at you.
>Instinct fails you for a moment, and you only duck under them, the bunch skipping off your backside to the floor.
>This time, your nerves fail you briefly, as there's enough time for the roses to hit the floor before ribbons of pain shoot up your spike from your flank.
>Nearly a dozen bright red lines now adorn your lower back, blood seeping from them and dripping down your back legs.
>The roses are half sunk into the ground, overly large razor sharp thorns sticking out of the stems.
>"Drat, I was hoping for snapdragons," Discord says somewhat disgruntled, before shrugging, "Oh well, it's more fun like this."
>The remaining statues close back in, while Discord gathers more magic.
>One statue swoops in low, aiming for your legs, while a second charges head on.
>"Cel..." you hear from behind you, before the statue charging straight for you explodes into sticky white goop.
>Remembering the one aiming for your legs, you shift to receive them on your axe, but your hooves are sort of stuck.
>Stumbling and falling on your side is all you can do to avoid the blow, sticky strands stretching from you to the floor.
>From your new vantage point, you see Anon held and gagged by three statues that somehow got past you.
>He struggles in their grip, his magic unable to be formed, though there is a large gathering of it over his head.
>A glowing ring, it looks like.
>>25596001
>Fighting to your hooves, the sticky substance all over you and a good portion of the floor does it's best to restrain you, but you push past it's hold.
>Dashing to cut down the statues, you're stopped by a sudden weight around your fetlocks, legs suddenly anchored in place.
>Large brown blocks surround your hooves, making each one feel like lifting your entire body just to move it.
>"That should hold you while I handle this pest. His healing is getting quite annoying," Discord says, sauntering around you, out of your magical reach.
>Approaching Anon, Discord's goaty face twists into an odd grin.
>"Such a strange one, you are, alien even moreso than I, but in far different ways."
>A sword is drawn from air, twisted and strange as Discord is, gripped tight in his claw.
>"A pity we could not meet on friendlier terms. Goodbye."
>Time slows for you as you watch the blade enter Anon's chest.
>You cannot even find the air to call out to him as you watch the blade twisting and gouging flesh as it sinks closer and closer to it's hilt.
>The pain on his face cuts through you, far worse than anything Discord could do to you, but it's all ended as Discord yanks the blade out, Anon's blood paining the cobblestones and Discord himself.
>You can barely watch the life drain from him as he is dropped, body crashing to the floor.
>Things spill from his robe, even as it's white slowly turns red.
>As Discord turns to you, something deep inside you wells up.
>Something beyond rage, love or other emotions.
>Unseen to you, your body reacts to this new drive.
>Your mane and tail move more and more actively, swelling and surging before bursting into pure flame.
>Your cutie mark flickers and flashes, moving as if on fire itself.
>The weights around your ankles start to melt, and Discord and his statues split and retreat over to the throne.
>With measured steps, you approach Anon, still barely clinging to life.
>A hand slowly opens, and you rest your hoof in it.
>>25596011
>There's barely enough pressure to tell, but he grips your hoof, if only for a fraction of a moment before it goes limp.
>From around him, scattered amongst the blood, the Elements of Harmony rise up, reacting to you.
>Six spheres of power, three of your own, three of Anon's.
>Together, with his help, you will crush this scum from this world.
>As if sensing the danger they pose, Discord sends his remaining statues at you, but a single sweep of your axe rends them all, melting the stone they're made of.
>"N... no matter," he says, still wielding the blade that he used to slay your partner, "I'm still far more powerful than you. I'm a god of chaos, nothing in this realm can challenge me."
>He makes a gesture with his claw, snakes springing forth, but they turn to ash before they can get anywhere near enough to bite.
>Stone spires rising from the ground are avoided, as are demonic souls from tartarus.
>Drawing more and more chaos in, the world around him starts twisting of it's own volition.
>A wall raised from the ground causes you to stop, if only for the moment required to slash through it.
>The lighting shifts, and from the corner of your eye you see the sun and moon dancing in the sky, magic pouring into Discord because of it.
>Nearer and nearer, you close the distance between you and the god of chaos, the Elements becoming more and more active.
>With no experience with them you have no clue how to use them, but instinct says they'll do the work themselves.
>Suddenly, the elements begin swirling around you rapidly, colours blending into both white light and a rainbow at the same time.
>Chaotic magic crackles and sparks around Discord, preparing for who knows what.
>The lights around you suddenly rise up and merge, firing at the goat faced monster in what you hope is a beam of death.
>Discord's chaos magic meets it, halting it's progress to him, but only temporarily.
>>25596043
>While Discord scrambles to gather more magic, it seems the Elements are running on a nearly endless supply.
>The last of his magic fades, and a look of terror overtakes him before the light crashes over him.
>Seconds tick while the power of the elements cover Discord, before the white light starts to fade.
>What's left in it's wake satisfies you.
>Stone, immortalizing him in terror.
>Exhaustion suddenly washes over you, the elements and your axe dropping to the ground.
>Turning back to Anon, you can see he's still clinging to life, though just barely.
>Your hooves slip on the stones as you rush to his side, ignoring the blood that stains your coat.
>Resting your head on his chest, you feel the blood on your cheeks, marred by your tears.
"I... I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Anon."
>Still lingering above his head, the small ring of magic floats, his last defence, though not enough...
>His pulse suddenly stops, and you start sobbing.
>Victory, but at what cost...
>A warm light suddenly washes over you, downy white feathers drifting down, only to dissapear before touching anything.
>You're shocked by a sudden, though quiet thump.
>Followed by another.
>A quiet, rythmic pounding rings in your ear, when you suddenly feel arms wrap over your neck.
>"Hey, Sunbutt, miss me?" Anon says quietly, his voice weak.
>Focusing on him, you see his eyes open, smiling at you.
"B... but how?"
>"You saw the halo, right? It's called Auto-Life, one of the most powerful white magic spells there is."
"How?"
>"It will heal and revive the bearer if they die."
"Why not have it on all the time?"
>"It only last while the bearer is in life threatening danger."
>Your cheeks swell in anger, before more tears decide to flow.
"I thought I lost you..." you say, nuzzling against his cheek.
>>25596057
>Gentle strokes rub your cheeks as Anon wipes away your tears.
>"It will take a lot more than a... whatever that was, to get rid of me."
>Kissing him, you shuffle up a bit more, content to rest here.
"You do know that when we get back home, I'm going to be all over that dick, right?"
>He laughs, a beautiful sound to your tired ears, before fingers decide to start scratching.
>"I'm fine with that. For now, I think we can rest here a bit."
~~~
And that's it. Only like, one minor and one semi-major scene left and this story will be done.
Pastebin still here: http://pastebin.com/pMyyNYzn
>>25582159
>Anon had two other children
>He fucked them every single day.
Okay
Did I kill the thread?
>>25597228
Nah. It's just a good Sunday to be lazy on.
>>25596072
Great job, Shukaku. Love this story, friend.
>>25596282
Yes, exactly this. Hot, wet, pony pussy. Anon had so many horrible inbred children, you have no idea. 15% of the pony-population just three-hundred years after Anon's passing is made up of retarded sibling-cousins with jaws too big to allow them to speak.
>>25597882
Hey now, someone on satyr crunched the math a few weeks back and concluded a parent-child couple could inbreed for about 2 or 3 generations with little real risk, especially if you don't already have any genetic disorders.
And that's assuming two same species people.
New story. Idea taken from that one thread a few days ago where Rainbow Dash thinks Anon's a prude for wearing clothes all the time. Also inspired by the thread yesterday where Rarity accuses Anon of pooping his pants.
>Ponies are a bit like dogs
>Ponies sniff butts to determine diet, health, mood, and as a polite greeting.
>Ponies think that Anon is being rude.
>Anon thinks, "I know you don't sniff butts. That's bullshit; stop lying."
>You are Anon.
>You have been in Equestria for a certain number of months.
>Long enough that you can function as a productive and mentally-healthy member of society.
>Short enough that you are comically ignorant of local customs and glaringly-obvious social constructs.
>You have noticed that you are the only one who wears clothes all the time.
>You know that ponies think this is weird, but you're content to just let the statue quo be until somepony confronts you about it.
>You REALLY don't want to hasten your inevitable de-pantsing.
>You haven't seen a stallion's cock yet, but by god you have seen SO MUCH horse porn.
>You know how you compare.
>While you do whatever it is you do during the day (Usually foal-sitting the Cutie Mark Crusaders or gossiping with that faggot Filthy Rich over some coffee), the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony have a meeting.
>All of them minus Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.
>Because fuck those guys.
>>25596282
bruh
>>25597936
I'm willing to believe that magic makes sure that no adverse affects of inbreeding occur. Afterall, Friendship is Magic, and there's no closer friendship than that from your BBBFF.
>>25598299
>You are Twilight, and you are meeting up with three of your five pony-friends.
>TS: "So, what do we do about Anonymous?"
>R: "What ever did he do this time, darling?"
>RD: "Is this about those clothes he always wears? 'Cause I kinda like it. You just don't know what be under there...."
>You hate to agree with a pig like Rainbow Dash, but Celestia-damn if you don't enjoy fantasizing about what Anon's hiding under his clothes.
>He's such a dirty little tease.
>Rarity "tsk"s in disgust, but you don't let her go on one of her sexist rants about colts.
>TS: "Regardless of our personal feelings for Anonymous and his clothing, I'm more worried about him from a medical point of view."
>Rainbow Dash nods, looking as deep in thought somepony like her could be.
>RD: "You know, you're right, Twilight. I've never gotten a good whiff of Anon's butt this entire time he's been here."
>TS: "Exactly. How are we supposed to know if he's sick? Oh, fillies, you KNOW how Anon tries so hard to be strong and independent. He could be dying of the Pony-Poops and he'd never tell anypony."
>Those Sundamn Pony-Poops. So many ponies have shat themselves to death after drinking bad water.
>Never again.
>Not Anonymous.
>R: "Not to mention, it's also VERY rude of him to hide how he's feeling. How does one prepare a proper conversation when one does not know what sort of mood she's dealing with?"
>She scoffs and examines a hoof.
>R: "And that colt has the ovaries to whine that he doesn't have any friends."
>Hey now, that's rude.
>TS: "Rarity, that wasn't necessary. Maybe he's just a private pony, or maybe where he comes from you only sniff butts with ponies you already know."
>Be more culturally-sensitive, Rarity.
>>25598323
>RD: "Why is he so embarrassed to take his clothes off, anyway? S'not like he can't tuck himself away in his sheath or nothing."
>You blush both in excitement at thinking of Anonymous's musky human penis, and anger that Rainbow Dash would talk so dismissively about a stallion like Anonymous.
>TS: "Rainbow, we can't just go over there and remove his clothes against his will. From what Anonymous told me about his world, that constitutes rape."
>Rarity paws the floor nervously, like a cat, and Rainbow Dash backs away from you.
>But you understand. That sort of accusation would ruin a mare's reputation, even if she were innocent.
>Those bucking stallions have so much power over mares, although they're too delicate and (let's be honest) too dull to ever think of using it.
>Rainbow Dash's wings are erect right now, and she's blushing.
>Wait, does she have a rape fetish?
>Note to self: bump her up on your list of 'potential rapists'.
>R: "Why don't we break him in, then? More than anypony else, I understand the significance of each article of his clothing. I can take away the unnecessary ones until Anonymous is comfortable enough to remove his more... intimate wear."
>Rarity, you are a Sundamn genius.
>RD: "Good idea, Rarity. Let's all work together to get Anon super-naked!"
>That's the spirit, Rainbow Dash.
>Just like magic-college.
All for now. Expect more today.
>>25598332
>>RD: "Good idea, Rarity. Let's all work together to get Anon super-naked!"
if ur this anon will be as fuken spineless as the one that got horsemarried ill gut u swar on me mum mate
>>25598762
he wont be u cheeky cunt
>>25598788
>tfw imminent teat-twisting
Daily reminder that FrostyBoxaka Vigilant Vaginais the best waifu.
>"Stay sharp, sisters. The birdies are prowling around, don't be a hero. Dead mares get no flares. Keep your boxes frosty and we all go home for a good dickin' "A Russian vulgar alternative of "gut feeling" is, basically, "ass feeling":
>"Today is going to be bad, I feel it with my butt"
>"Ceгoдня бyдeт плoхoй дeнь, жoпoй чyю"
I like to think mares have a similar jargon revolving around their hindquarters, so a Frosty Box would be that army mare that always knows when the squad is about to be ambushed.
>>25599003
You're getting a little bit obsessed with this Frosty thing.Just propose to her or something.
>>25599029
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc0-wSQd-LQ&t=6
>>25596072
daww
>>25598299
>statue quo
>>25599029
>her
>>25599356
I was kidding.
Still, balls or GTFO.
>>25599029
>proposing to another horsefuckers waifu
I will cut you
>>25599444
Can't argue with dem digits. Frosty belongs to >>25599444
>>25599444
Congratulations, you are now horsemarried
>>25599515
>implying Frosty isn't the alpha mare
>>25599356
>implying there are colts on ponynet
Y'all anawns know it's sheath or GTBO
PORTABLE
PONY
POON
>>25599840
I'll take ten.
>Anon runs for Mayor of Ponyville
>His platform involves public works reform and sound economic policy
>He wins by a landslide, largely due to accidentally forgetting to wear pants during one speech
>The mares in the town council think they're controlling him to further their own goals
>He's the one controlling them, with lots of cheesecake andtitty twisting
>>25596072
Good stuff
Vigilant Vagina, more Caramel/Anon when?
>>25600037
*teaty twisting
You know anons, dropping silly horsemarriages and that, I must say that you're all good folks.
All the namefags, all the tripfags, all you fukken samefags. Ur good.Except for the "not RGRE enough" autist.
I am now sick as balls with mare flu and your collective existence just brings me a warm fuzzy feeling.Like I actually have something to look towards tomorrow
Keep on rocking, friendos
>>25601215
Are you emotional from the newest episodes? It's okay, I understand.I'd hug you.
>>25601215
I love you too, mang.Sex now, yes? [\spoiler]
>>25596057
>Auto-Life
>tfw I'm currently replaying Final Fantasy X right now.
My fellow gentleman of African origin.
>>25602596
You have good taste anon.
>>25602596
I too like FFX but that final fight was trash.
>>25602767
Thank you, my fellow anon.
>>25602846
Agreed. I considerBraska's Final Aeon/Jechtto be the real final boss and even that was just meh.
Also:
>Select all squares with turkeys.
Captcha pls. I don't want to see another turkey until next November.
>>25602902
Fuck that fight with seymour on the mountain, everydamn time I played I fucked that fight up.
>>25602902
Right? Like, every boss from Gagazet onwards was a tough but good fight. Then you get to the last area and the game just gives up.
>>25602596
FFX was the last good FF. The series reached its peak in 7/8, though. Those were god-tier.
FFX-2 was a fucking abomination.
>>25603011
X-2?
What's that.
>>25603289
It's the even shittier sequel to an already shitty game.
>>25603362
What do you mean sequel? FFX had no sequels. Stop saying such horrible things.
>>25603362
>FFX
> Shitty
Woah woah woah, X was the last good one friendo. After that we got that fucking game with Vaan, after was the awful Lightning games and don't forget the online abortion that was 14.
>>25598332
This story looks like it'll be a good one.
Interestingly enough, there was a thread ... last year? Where the topic came up "Ponies sniff each other's butts before conversation, and it gets on Anon's nerves. The ponies are bothered that he doesn't sniff butts like everyone else." I couldn't find which thread it was, but I did find this short story segment.
http://pastebin.com/T7ePUgEY
>>25604197
Gameplay-wise, FFX may be the best one out of the series, at least when it came to combat. Every character had some special ability or function, being able to freely swap the party during battle, that was great.
The story was bleh though, and none of the characters (except Auron, and maybe Jecht) were memorable or even likable to me.
Also, fuck Blitzball!
And wasn't it the first main FF-game that didn't have a overworld map? That was a mayor strike against the series as a whole.
>>25604197
But the characters were annoying and the story was pretty boring
>>25604329
>fuck Blitzball
Fuck all the sidequest games except the Golden Saucer ones
>>25604197
If you took Vaan and Penelo out that game would be so much better
What the fuck. I thought this was the reverse gender roles thread, not the "we're massive faggots who love terrible games and penis" thread.
>>25598762
bruh I'm gonna rewrite that story starting after he and Rainbow Dash bone. Anon ain't happy none 'bout any horsemarraige bullshit.
>>25604960
Write something then.
>>25604995
Seems like the story should be more about Anon trying to get away from sperglord, and dealing with the social fallout that comes with sleeping with a mare your alpha doesn't approve of, and is unaware of as well.
Incoming short
>You are Anon.
>You've been in Equestria for three years.
>You live alone in your cottage in Ponyville.
>3original5me
>On the plus side, the locals aren't hostile just because you're different. Nopony has ever called you a "monster".
>The catch is that they give zero fucks about you.
>Your body structure is so unique to your race, and nothing that looks like you exists in this world.
>Ponies just don't find you physically attractive. You're just too alien to them.
>Your skills are useless now that the technology doesn't exist.
>And even if it did, there's going to be a pony with that tech slapped on its' ass where its cutie-mark would be.
>There will ALWAYS be somepony better than you at something.
>And if you're BETTER at somepony at something, it doesn't even matter.
>That pony just does whatever their cutie mark tells them to.
>Why should an apple farmer care if you can play tic-tac-toe better than they can?
>>25605308
>When you finally figured out that the gender roles here were reversed, you were actually thrilled.
>You would see it everywhere.
>Mares paying for meals; mares treating their stallions like princes; mares hitting on the colts in bars.
>The flaw in your otherwise flawless plan of being treated like you're worth a damn revealed itself:
>Again, nopony found you attractive.
>You tried dating, but the mares were either freaks with hand-fetishes, or they were desperate losers (worse than you) who would grab hold of anything with a penis.
>So, you reaped none of the benefits of being seen as the "fairer sex".
>Instead, you were dumped on with all the negative shit that came with being this world's "fat, ugly woman".
>God forbid you get an interview for a job that didn't require a cutie mark to do.
>If they found a mare who was equally qualified as you were, the would go with the mare.
>Not because you were weird looking, in this case; but because they assumed that a mare would just do better work than a stallion would.
>When you went on dates or talked to ponies at the bar, your forward behaviour got you labelled a "slut".
>And everypony knows that dirty whores don't make good husband material.
>Lucky for you, taxes don't exist in Equestria.
>You own the land that your cottage sits on, and nothing is ever going to change that.
>You have no bits, but that just means that you can't buy food and clothes.
>Lucky for you, you eat meat. You learned how to hunt out of necessity.
>It's just you in your hut.
>Alone.
>Just like back home.
>>25605325
that's depressing
>>25605325
>Lucky for you, taxes don't exist in Equestria.
In the Ticket Master, one pony offers to do Twilight's taxes in exchange for her extra ticket.
Not criticizing, just thought I'd throw that out there.
>>25600780
Soonish, did a lot of traveling as of late and trying to fight off a cold right now. I don't know how well this next Caramel-verse segment is going to be received, since it's going to delve into questioning sexuality and probably lewd (that I may just keep in the paste since I dunno how many Anons here would go for that). But yeah, soon.
Been working on something in the Ponkverse today but I'm not happy with it, it doesn't feel RGRE enough. I may just say fuck it and post it tomorrow anyway, but hopefully I can fix whatever I think is wrong with it.
>>25599003
>>25599029
>>25599064
>>25599356
>>25599365
>>25599444
>>25599515
>>25599559
You Anons are so silly, also I guess I'm married to one of you via trips (as it should be). Best believe I'm gonna bend over and take it like the champ I am though, power bottom as the rightful alpha should.
>>25605308
>>25605325
Y'know I had an interest in pursuing something like this, an unappealing Anon, I can't exactly remember for what purpose (maybe for the mail order husband short?) but because of you I'm going to think on it. I've noticed that more often than not though these kinds of stories aren't interesting to most readers here, but I like the concept for what it's worth. You presented it alright, needs some elaboration or a direction (if you're not done here that is) but it's ideas to think about at least and be expanded on in green of their own.
>>25604329
Trying to get the ultimate weapons for each of the characters was a pain in the ass. Had to do the chocobo balloon racing one over and over. Took about 5 hrs playing and it was always at the last second I'd get hit by those damn birds costing me Tidus' best weapon.
>>25605325
Why would anyone stay in a place like that? Seriously the reasons people don't leave the area they live in is because of family, friends, job, or SOMETHING good going on there for them otherwise they just leave if they can and if this Anon can sustain himself (which he apparently can) then why hasn't he just ya know left?
Humans were naturally nomadic anyway
>>25605715
No hope. He doesn't care, even if he really wants to. That's what depression is.
>>25605715
This Anon seems content to accept whatever is thrown at him, lie down, and die.
But you know, I can't help but think that even the fattest, ugliest woman could get by more easily than a subsistence hunter in the middle of the wilderness.
>>25605325
I didn't come here to get depressed.
>>25606184
To realistic for you, anon?
>>25605496
> it doesn't feel RGRE enough.
BRRRRT what are you doinmg? Not rgre enough argh!!!!!!!!
>I may just say fuck it and post it tomorrow anyway,
ShiaLebouf.jpg
>an unappealing Anonjagog when
>>25605408
Maybe Anon just never had enough money to have taxes to pay?
>>25605496
>Male order husbando
Lets do more of that thing
>Be Anon
>In cowland
>Seriously, you're in a whole fucking town of talking cows
>You don't know how you arrived, the cows don't either
>They seem okay, bit too keen on being milked though
>You told them you want to find out what the fuck happened, so they gave you a ticket to the pony town
>They say the ponies can do magic and shit so they might be able to figure it out
>So you're sitting in a train with a frankly excessive amount of gifted cheese headed to see the wizard pony
>The wonderful wizard pony of ponyville
>Because you want to get back to your vidya
>Be Twilight sparkle
>The Cow ambassador sent you a letter
>Said they're sending you a coronation gift on the train and it's arriving today
>You think.
>Cows have terrible hoofwriting
>It could be a birthday gift for spike, but it's the wrong time of year for that
>>25607235
This has my interest . . . actually, I think this is a pretty damn good prompt Durnk.
>>25607235
>Male order husbando
lol
>Said they're sending you a coronation gift on the train and it's arriving today
Delightfully shitprincessy cows want Why aren't minotits like that?
Minotits, stop spilling hay in front of Anon and show him his way to the fields.
>>25605966
Why exactly do we tell people who suffer depression not to kill themselves again? Edge aside It legitimately seems like the best option for those involved.
>>25606009
Yeah they become TV host/comedian/bloggers for other women to rally around because they make them look better in comparison. If they actually DO happen to be funny/nice/clever then that's a bonus.
>>25607588
I don't understand what you're trying to say.
>>25607566
Get writing it then.
>>25607235
>Be Anon Again, this time not in Cowland anymore
>You've arrived at the station and are now unloading your cheese
>You don't have a clue where you're going to store this much
>It's really awkward trying to move it even as far as the station
>Maybe the wizard has a cart you can borrow?
>Right, gotta find them first.
"Hey you, purple pony, do you know where I can find the ponyville wizard pony?"
>"Wizard pony? Well there's Princess Twilight who does lots of magic, I saw her around here somewhere. She's also purple like me but has both wings and a horn."
"Okay, thanks purple pony."
>You leave the purple pony and go search for other purple ponies
>"No I'm Twilight Parkle, sorry."
>"What? You want the princess? I saw her by the stationmaster's office a while ago."
>"Yes I'm Twilight, how can I help you?"
>"No, I'm Pinkie Pie, she's back that way."
>"Oh hi again"
"Are you the wizard of ponyville? The cows said I need to go to the wizard"
>"I guess that'd be an accurate description. There aren't many more magical ponies around here than me."
>You go back to the wizards place without further discussion, because dialogue is hard
>She uses wizard powers to carry the cheese
>Yep, that looks like magic.
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>Strange mutant minotaur looking guy has come back to your place
>Had lots of cheese, which is the traditional Cod Dowry
>Shit they sent you a fucking husband?
>You don't like being part of an arranged marriage, but if you refuse you might offend the cows
>>25608086
>Cod dowry
Damnit i didn't mean to write about goddamn sapient fish wedding traditions
But WE ARE NOW
>Be Bolero Wisconsin, Fishpony
>Arrive at Ponyville, where you have been hired to maintain a hydromagical plant
>It's a long way inland but a mare's gotta do what a mare's gotta do
>Also it pays really well
>Anyway you're doing maintenance on the pipes and walls and shit
>But then something happens
>A thing falls into the water
>It's alive!
>Shove it in a bubble and shoo be do at it
>It's not just alive, it's talky
>You don't know what it is so you take it to the town vet
>She says it's a human
>Also asks you to let it out of the bubble
>Fucking fluttershy, always "Let it out of the bubble" this and "Bears don't like being kept underwater" that
>Bitch if they aren't in a bubble how can you make sure they don't suffocate?
>You knew a seapony who forgot to bubble their pet once
>It was not pretty
>NEVER AGAIN
>>25608086
why cant understand we both durnk u should easily wat!!!!
Cows as delightful little shitprincesses is great.
I wish tauresses had this casual sexism thing going on, but so far minotit writers prefer Anon engaging with the more beta cowfolk. Frosty has beta animoo cow, BNW has beta cheertits. Other tauresses in Cow Tipping qualify, but we don't see them much and they don't want to bone Anon.
I guess only loser minotits would date a freak like Anon, so nobody will show him the way to the fields.
>>25608086
I don't mind reading more of this.
>>25608258
Yeah....
>>25604960
Careful there, wanting this thread to be about Reversed Gender Roles is a bit of a touchy opinion to have these days.
Misandry fetish here?
>>25607235
>>Said they're sending you a coronation gift on the train and it's arriving today
>>You think.
>>Cows have terrible hoofwriting
That's the kind of kek-based worldbuilding I love.
>>25607610
>Why exactly do we tell people who suffer depression not to kill themselves again? Edge aside It legitimately seems like the best option for those involved.
Because human life has value, and even really shitty living circumstances have sometimes been known to have extraordinary people rise up from them and do a whole lot of public good.Animal life is not so valuable, but outright torturing them is a big no-no.
>>25608626
What the shit is that abomination in the image?
>>25609203
No, not really.
More like "Females have to take the risks and make the first move, while the Males are protected and restricted from doing dangerous things."
Try a more generic humiliation/bdsm thread. I think there might be ONE older story I know of in SiM that's femdom-based, but I don't know anything off the top of my head that's what you want.
Try explaining it in more detail, and people might be able to help you.
>>25608086
>You're Anon again, isn't that something?
>So you're in the wizard's magical realm right now.
>There's a tree stuck to the ceiling in here.
>It's got magic gizmos stuck to it, but since neither the tree or the magic gizmos are spraying you with anything disgusting, you conclude that this is one of the nicer magical realms
>There's even a little dragon who brought you snacks!
>Basically what i'm trying to get across is this is a pretty swanky wizard house.
>So anyway the wizard has left you here while she talks to her friends
>They might also be wizards, you haven't gotten a chance to ask her about that.
>Right now it's just you and the little dragon.
>Well fuck this, waiting is boring
>You're going to go find something to do.
>A grand wizard has to have something fun to do.
>Now you're Twilight Sparkle talking to your friends.
>"OH MY!" Rarity faints in response to the news
>"Are you sure he's not just here for your magic?" questions Pinkie
>"How could you say such a thing? He's not some lowdown golddigger, Pinkie." Applejack scolds
>After a few seconds of thought you conclude Applejack is probably right, the cows tend to be good judges of character.
"So what do I do, girls?"
>"Give him the V." says Pinkie Pie sagely
>"Ah think yeh should at least give the poor feller a chance."
>You suppose it would be rude to reject him out of hoof
>And you don't want to get into a war with the cows
>You read that for a cow, it's about as offensive as it gets to refuse a gift.
>You never asked for this
>>25567308
looking forward to more of that story
>>25609257
>Still Twilight.
>Back at your Friendship Castle Princess Pony Playset.
>"I'm sorry to run out on you like that, but this is all so sudden. But I've thought about this and I'm ready to commit to it, Anon."
>"Wow, really?"
"Just leave it all to me, I'll take care of everything. Do you have any things you need me to help you move in?"
>"I've just got this bag of stuff and all that cheese the cows gave me."
>For better or for worse, you're getting married to him.
>Be Anon.
>Purple wizard pony Twilight Sparkle just promised to help you.
>She's even giving you a place to stay in her wizard tower.
>This is such a load off your mind, having a real magic using wizard helping you.I'm trying to make this as reasonable an understanding on Anon's part as i can without going to extreme lengths like planning things out
>>25609587
A story that is actually comprehensible?
You are not drunk enough.
>>25609616
You go do it then, ya knob.
>Be Griffonpony, like a griffon but in equestria
>Basically you've got a cutiemark taped on
>See Anon the town human
>Chirp at him to show your affection
>He gives you food
>It's rice
>You swell up and explode
>Wake up in the hospital with a card from him
>He's so sweet
>>25609714
>Griffonpony
What, like a birdpony but also with cat in it?
>>25609748
It's a griffon with a picture taped to its ass
>>25582159
>Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy can fuck right off for all I care.
>you come home and find yourfriendohiding in a box and eating his strategic reserves of self-pity icecream
>wat do
>>25610655
Apply chocolate sauce.
>>25609748
I think its more hippogriff, though they just have a horses ass instead....
>>25610770
not funny Shuk, yourfriendois hurting! He doesn't get into the strategic reserve unless he is too hurt to go to the ice cream place.
>>25610916
Fine, we'll do this the Canadian way.
Apply maple syrup and sorrys.
>>25611004
>Canadian way
>no mention of Poutine
Bro, its like you don't even know your own hat.
>>25611028
Poutine comes later. It's obvious his blood syrup levels are low if he's self pitying.
>>25610655
>Be Anon
>Be facepalming as you come home to find yourfriendoand roommate Caramel hiding in a box and eating his strategic reserves of self-pity icecream.
"Caramel."
>He stops, and turns to look at you with wide eyes.
>Apparently he didn't notice you until now.
>"O-Oh.. Um.. Hey, Anon! I didn't know you'd be back from work this early."
>You sighed.
"What happened this time?"
And that's all I'm going to do because I have class in ten minutes.
>>25611004
Maple syrup won't cut it. It's probably that skank Time Turner again.
Maybe it's time to teach him a lesson on messing with yourfriendo?
>>25611041
its obviouslys TT look at that fucking smug skank thinks he's the Princesses' gift to mares or smth
>>25611054
Why is Time Turner the go to badguy?
Is everyone really that intimidated by his charm that they have to spread gossip about him?
It's starting to sound like malicious jealousy.
>>25611087
because he stole Caramel's herd and publicly gloated about it in front of him on several occasions?
>>25611137
>Caramel was neglecting his herd so much they left him
How is any of this Time Turners fault?
>>25611028
We don't speak about Quebec in this country, sir.
LAST TIME ON PONY BALL Z
>Rainbow Dash, aka the Best Pone, flies in between you and Rarity and glares fiercely at her.
>RD: "Are you two for real right now?"
>Rainbow the anti-rape pony turns to you and gestures to the front door.
>RD: "Let's get out of this pigsty, Anon."
>You happily oblige.
>Before you can babble at her and hug her because that's what you DO when you're drunk, Dash rushes her face towards yours and...
>Faceplants your chest and blows out a raspberry.
>"Dibs."
"What?"
>"Nothing."
>What?
-------------------------------------
"Urrrgh..."
>You are Anon
>And you've just vomited on the bed.
>Your head is pounding, your stomach is rolling, and you pray for a death that will never come.
>The acrid smell of vomit makes you heave, and whatever bile you had left in your stomach is now dribbling down your chin.
>You want to leave, please.
>wait
>This isn't your bedroom.
>Who did you fuck last night?
>Whose bed did you puke in?
>oh god you hope they'll think that THEY did it.
>Look
>Just
>Earuhg
>Fuck it.
>Fuck everything. Just take your shower and THEN you can work on brain-thinking.
>You lurch to your feet and stumble towards the doOORRWOAH hey settle down there buckaroo
>You're still kind of drunk.
>Oh jesus you regret everything you've ever done.
>One quick shower later, and you're feeling human again.
>Anon in his natural state.
>Naked, intoxicated, and unsure whose house he's in.
>You brush your teeth and pointedly ignore the bottle of "Smell-B-Gone: vag cream" standing right next to the tooth paste.
>The sound of an argument guides you to the kitchen.
>It's Twilight and RainbRAINBOW DASH
>OH RIGHT
>You remember now.
>Guess you lost your horsevirginity last night, huh?
>You're feeling pretty conflicted, to be honest.
>You loved that pony pussy; god knows you did.
>But that ponut was RIGHT THERE for the taking and you didn't go for it.
>Who knows if you'll ever have that chance again?
"Mornin', ladies."
>>25611849
>TS: "Anonymous! There you are! You have some explaining to do, mister."
>Oh god fucking dammit, Twilight.
>You don't need her bullshit right now.
>Rainbow Dash, aka the Best Pone, hoofs you a mug of steaming coffee.
>RD: "Here you go, hot stuff."
>Black.
>Ooooh, this one's a keeper.
>You smile warmly at Rainbow Dash as you sip on your coffee.
>You hope that action has some sort of sexual connotation or SOMETHING.
>Because you were trying REALLY HARD just then to be seductive.
"Sleep well, Dashie?"
>Rainbow Dash saunters over to you and nuzzles your groin.
>RD: "Nope."
>She flashes you her bedroom eyes and licks her lips.
>RD: "You kept me up the entire night."
>Yiss
>You have found your talent:
>Horse-fucking.
>You're the best at it.
>TS: "Whuh-Anon! Did you have SEX with Rainbow Dash?"
"I might have. Is that really any of your business, Twilight?"
>You haven't forgotten that "alpha-mare" bullshit.
>TS: "Yes, Anon, it is."
"That's where you're wrong, Twi-"
>TS: "You aren't aloud to have sex with anypony that your alpha-mare doesn't approve of."
>Who is she to tell you which animals you can and cannot fuck? If you weren't so hungover, you'd be furious.
>You aren't sober enough for this discussion, so you settle on just being a bit of an ass to Twilight.
"Really? That's dumb."
>TS: "It isn't 'dumb', Anon. It's the law."
"The same law that you enacted upon me without my consent?"
>TS: "Well..."
"The law that I was not informed even existed until two months after it was activated?"
>Wow, these are some pretty big words for a hungover man like yourself, Anon.
>Twilight ain't sayin' SHIT.
"That's what I thought."
>BAM
>Situation difused.
>You reward yourself with a sip of hot, bitter bean-water.
>MMMMM
>>25610814
That's the best part to have.
>>25611869
>Twilight flops down her ears like a cutie and walks out of the kitchen.
>You're sure that if Rarity were here, she would be making some kind of joke about how you should feel right at home in this room.
>It's so hard to be mad at these tiny, adorable widdle ponies.
>....
>Welp, time for you to get some more of that burn salve.
>Hot, sweaty sex probably wasn't good for your bandages.
>The next morning, you and Twilight ate breakfast in different rooms.
>You aren't exactly on speaking terms right now.
>She was lucky you had agreed for her to take pictures of your wound before she re-dressed it.
>The two of you have come to an understanding regarding the whole, "herd" thing.
>She retains whatever legal rights this deal gives her, but she makes no decisions without your consent.
>The deal is, she covers your legal ass, and you let her reap the social benefits of being an "alpha-mare".
>From what you understand, her mare-dick has grown ten inches because of you.
>She still owes you for springing that bullshit on you.
>Twilight walks into your room and wordlessly drops this morning's newspaper on the floor.
>She marks a specific article for you to read, and then walks back out.
>It's just this small advice column near the back of the paper, which is normally written by Inky Wells.
>It reads: " 'P is for Penis, and That's Good Enough for Me.' "
>It starts with an interview with Rainbow Dash, who is very obviously bragging about how long you lasted in bed.
>The last paragraph is just one-sentence-long feedback from a number of mares who know you. Each of them give you glowing reviews that seem to paint you as the ideal colt.
>Low Maintenance; respects your privacy; is "just like one of the mares" (which includes a crude illustration of a mare with a giant cock)
>>25611819
Soup eaters may be obnoxious as shit, but poutine is badass.
>>25612156
And then the epilogue I posted before happens.
THE END.
>>25612186
rating/10
I was fine with the earlier ending, but this works too. Keep horse wording, friendo.
>>25606805
Equestria isn't real you vapid idiot. An Equestria where everyone wants Anon's dick is just as realistic as one where no one does, because NEITHER EXSIST.
>>25612156
That left a much less bitter taste in my mouth.
No AIDS/10
>>25612327
Those tears of yours taste extra salty.
>>25612413
Thats not a rebuttal.
>>25612460
Don't take the bait anon. That's what his green was, just let it rot.
>>25612245
>>25612358
More horse words later. It's time to let Coffee Burn sleep, now.
>>25612710
Anon is a bit of a boozer. Hardest thing he can get is AJs 15 proof "good stuff".
Anon invents moonshine.
If you could befriend any RGRE stallion , who would it be?
Blueblood? Shining Armor? Big Mac? Time Turner? Cheese Sandwich? Filthy Rich? Trouble Shoes? Toe-Tapper? Cratus? Haakim? Walter?Dr. Caballeron?King Sombra?
>>25613322
Shining Armor
He seems like he'd be the easiest to get along.
>>25613077
Anon starts a booze empire, peddling everything from kvass to everclear.
>>25613322
Shining, absolutely. He'd be a bro's bro who can appreciate things like fashion and spa visits.
>>25613322
SombraI'm a bit of an edgelord myself.
>>25613322
Mr. Cake. He needs a friend with all he puts up with since he runs half a business, takes care of the twins, and puts up with Pinkie's antics. Mrs. Cake doesn't take him anywhere, he just stays around SCC all day. Someone needs to come in and show him a good time before he goes stir-crazy.
>"Don't take it off, now. I'll bring you some hot soup and your meds before you notice I'm gone."
>"If you need anything just tell Spike and he'll send me a letter and I'll come back right away."
>>25613077
>"Anon you cant sell that! More than one shot would send most ponies to the hospital!"
"Ehh I will put a warning label on it."
pump
Pony (or ponies) find Anon's porn collection. How do they react?
>Anon becomes a prince
>Celestia immediately marries him off to a griffon princess
>That princess is Gilda
>>25616167
>Arschficken von Katzenvogel
Ja, ja
>>25615995
>"Wait. Anon finds fat, lazy mares attractive? What the fuck have I been doing this whole time!?"
The idea of muh earth pone waifu finding this difficult to accept due to her tribe's physically active nature and her job while unicorns try to take advantage of it is rather interesting.
>>25616511
What the fuck did I just say
shit shit shit
>Anon's house is broken into in one of Ponyville's extremely rare cases of crime.
>His waifu/herdmates are there as well.
>Waifu/herdmates do the pony thing and huddle, waiting for the danger to pass.
>Anon does something even more shocking than the robbery itself.
>He chases out the crook.
>Ponyville gets to see a half-nude Anon chase the scared shitless crook across town at 3 in the morning, yelling curses and promising violence.
>Culture clash.
>>25616564
Kek, "I will rip out your fucking heart and eat it for stealing my underwear"
>>25613077
>>25613432
>>25614279
>Anon tries to make liquor.>He has no idea of what he's doing.
>>25616529
>"... That mare is extremely pregnant. Does Anon want foals?"
>>25616529
>>"Wait. Anon finds fat, lazy mares attractive? What the fuck have I been doing this whole time!?"
Why would Anon have porn of lazy fat mares? wtf man
picrelated best princess
Also Cadence is worst princess because she was supposed to be the Princess of Cadence! She was supposed to be the chosen one!! Instead she does love or some bullshit.
>best princess will never descend from the heavens in the time of need
>she will never instruct you on proper form
>she won't congratulate you for breaking your PR
>she will never berate you for shunning cardio and skipping leg day
>you will never better, faster, stronger
why live?
>>25616644
This makes me want to write some preg content now. Mostly to explore how the mares around town react to this new info.
>>25615995
"Can...can a clit really take that much abuse?"
"OH CELESTIA! HE'S HOLDING HOT SAUCE!"
>>25616685
>Also Cadence is worst princess because she was supposed to be the Princess of Cadence
>Cadence
>Intonation (linguistics), the variation of pitch in speech.
>Speech tempo, the rate or speed at which a language is spoken
What.
>>25616782
?daughter
Anon that's a man
>>25616782
>filenameThat's a boy, Anon.
>>25616587
Ponies find Anon chasing crook out of the house, they find the crook hanging from Anon under wear, when asked why this is what the colt had to say, "if they wanted to sniff out my clothes that bad then they can enjoy them to the fullest."
More at eleven ponies! Now to the weather.
Rainy days?
Shits raining!
Thanks Rainy.
In other news Princess Twilight is encouraging mares to be aware of stallions equality by having all stallions be given free complimentary warning signs for their protection.
You can almost say it's signing away mean mares!
>>25616826
>>25616829
Really?Traps a shit.
>>25616957
YOU'RE A SHIT!
>>25616957
I agree.
Traps are shit.
>>25615995
>"I... I didn't know stallions liked this stuff..."
>>25616564
Would this end with confused wing-boners, or legitimately worried ponies looking to help their husbando with what they perceive to be extreme anger issues?
>>25616644
>"Anon, are condoms with holes poked in them your fetish?"
>>25616564
"We do not understand. Why is the pizza delivery human striking the flank of that student? Did she not provide adequet remuneration for his service?"
>>25617640
Why not both?
>>25617674
I wouldn't mind the impregnation fetish.
>>25615995
We find the lack of images of our flank quite dissapointing.
We shall have to help you remedy that.
>>25617710
"Why is the pizza delivery human presenting his phallus? Was it not clear to him that her request for pepperoni would be in the context of pizza toppings?"
Quick, more Luna innocently questioning porn.
>>25618238
"Why would that female perform such deep felatio upon that male? Would his flare not get caught in her throat and cause her to choke?:
>>25615995
>"I'm tellin ya, ah know he spends a lot of time in there, but he ain't primpin-"
"Applejack, are you serious? You think he's-"
>Your soon-to-be-fellow-horsemarried herdmate nods. "Eyup."
>You roll your eyes
"Look. Colts don't - they don't DO that, ok?"
>AJ smiles. "Have yah ever wondered why all colts' have hoof creams?"
"Uh. Yeah, for soft and shiny-"
>"Have yah ever used 'em?"
"No! Why would...wait, how do YOU kno-"
>She lets out a mirthless chuckle. "Ah live with a colt. Yah haven't gone through puberty until yah've walked in on yer kin-"
"Eeesh, ok ok."
>AJ rolls her head towards the master bathroom. "NOW do yah believe me? I wanna see where he keeps 'is stash."
"Recon? I can dig it."
>You push open the oversized door, opening up to the fragrances of
>...cranberry and cut lemongrass
>Hm. Soft, yet strong
>"Ah mean, we won't be STEALIN' it, just, yanno... seein' what his preferences are, yanno?"
>You grin
"Mare, you ain't gotta justify nothin' to me. This takes me back to my boxer-raid days at college-"
>"Ugh. You were one o' THEM mares? I didn't take you for-"
"An adventure junkie?"
>You give a powerful flap, taking some air to check the upper cupboards
>"-ah nerd who couldn't git a colt so had tah settle for the next best thing~"
"HEY!"
>You kill your air, dropping on AJ's shoulders - she laughs
>"G'won! Go up there n' see what you can find!"
>You raspberry at her as you gain air once again, starting to look through the cupboards
>Let's see. Gels, conditioner, cream, cream, cream, shaving cream, safety 1st trimming razor - now extra blunt - uhm....
>You timidly paw away the no-drip "cotton cockhead comforters"
>Like, what is that even USED for just-
>Ugh there's nothing here
"I got nothin'!"
>"Well, ah do- oh hey hold on there!"
>AJ seems to push away all the cleaning supplies and - OH.
>You drop down as you see what AJ pulls out
>It's uh...it's a human magazine!
>How did he - when, I thought... didn't he come with nothing?
>>25618290
>AJ flips to a random page
>Both of you just.... stare
"Ah..."
>There's a blush on your face, but ... just...
>"Human females... I uh..."
"Yeah. It looks like... like-"
>"Yeah! Lahk...-"
"But it's upside down! Right?"
>Both of you tilt your respective heads to the side
>"Ah..well, ifn' she's on all fours- but he walks up-like-"
"Yeah. But uh, look at, uh."
>Both of you don't make eye contact, but you know what you're doing
>Checking
>Compare and contrast
>Her flank - curvier, longer - no fuzz, but more toned - then, her legs, like Anon's but not as muscular
>More... curves than lines
>But on her chest
>"ah...ah don't believe this rag-"
"N-no, I mean... those are real-"
>"Nah! Ain't no way no human mare kin walk with those-"
>You swallow and as nonchalantly as you can look between your legs
>Damnit girls
>All your life you're told colts love teats that arenot easily twisted
>And you get with the one stallion that loves 'em big and just... right there
>Right attwist-level
"W-well... he's never said anything-"
>"Well that don't mean nothin'! Yah know how colts kin get!" AJ huffs, flipping through some more pages
>Yep. All of 'em have their teats right at their chest
>Big, small, perky - just. All there.
>You two spend the next few minutes....
>Numb isn't the right word
>I mean. He's attracted to you. You're attracted to him - fuck, you're all in a trial herd!
"Ok ok, we're just - don't worry about -"
>"YEAH!"
>Woah that was a bit too loud - both your ears go flat
>"Y-yeah, ah... just..." AJ coughs, closing the magazine
>. . .
"I mean, I'd still rut her-"
>"Well, yah, that's a given'-"
>You hear the door slam closed
>FUCK HE'S HOME EARLY
>RARITY YOU CUNT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIM SHOPPING
>"Girls? Who's here?!" a baritone voice yells from downstairs
>Quickly the two of you scramble to put everything back exactly as you had it
>which means 'stuff everything under the counter and run, bitch, run'
>Anon has settled down and started a family.
>One day, generic bad guy D-dogs kidnap his oldest foal.
>Foal's mom is losing her shit, but dares not follow. Prey nature dulls pony reaction to possible child loss.
>Anon is not a pony. EXPRESS MAD DAD TURBO MURDER MODE ACTIVE.
>D-dogs get their Seasons Beatings early this year.
>>25618578
>You are Anon
>And if the adorable pitterpater of little horse feet upstairs isn't lying to you
>There's somepony home
"I'll take that as a yes - Come down, I've got groceries!"
>*thumpitythumpathumpthum-*
>Fuck. If you ever have abominations
>eer, kids
>you'll have a hard time telling them apart from your wives
>. . .
>Idly you reach around for the applejack daniels 4-pack you bought
>No reason!
>. . .this is your life now-
>"Oh, h-hey! Uh, we're here! Where's uh, Rarity?"
>You turn around to the sound of Daring, but-
"Daring?"
>"Y-yes? Just a moment!"
"I didn't say anything. Why aren't you in the doorway?"
>"Nothing! I didn't do anything!"
>Well. Mentally you block off some time to make sure nothing's missing
>Or broken
>Or "used", like your dirty laundry hamper
>. . .
>Yeah the AJ-Daniels is still cold. Wonderful.
>"j-just - yeah, yeah. Take the leash an-"
"Uhh... take the whatno-"
>"NOTHING WE ARE ALL OK HERE FINE. JUST FINE. HOW ARE YOU?"
"Daring - for fuck's sake would you just-"
>There's the horrible sound of skidding hooves-on-wood, and then Daring stands infront of you
>And you know better than to laugh
>She's puffing out her chest - that's obvious - but, uh, she's apparently found or taken Winona's leash and... split her tuft in half?
>"Hey babe. Need help with those?" She smiles, her back still arched
>...probably painfully, if that mild grimace is anything to go by
"Uh... yeah."
>"Ah'll help too!"
>AJ rounds the corner, standing beside Daring
>Both are proudly displaying their tufts
>Both are proudly staring straight up
"....."
>I mean, ok, apparently tufts are like dicks back home?
>not like that
>But size and fluffiness is important.... so...
>Are they basically doing the horse equivalent of trying to walk into the kitchen with their cock hanging out of their boxers?
>Aww, that's adorable!
>Smiling, you kneel infront of them, beckoning them forward
>>25618722
>...fuck they're not looking a-
"Hey, come here, bring it in girls."
>They smile wide and walk in your direction
>....
"For fuck's sake would you just look forward?"
>"Huh?" Daring says, gently nudging the trash can
>"Ahm' over here-"
"Lower. Your. Heads."
>A collective grumpy pout later, and your hands are filled with adorable horse fluff
>Awww. Lookit their ears flick
>You are Daring
>Aaaahhhh this went down perfectly
>You may not have teats that are as easily twistable as a human mare, but, hey!
>Anon likes petplay and bondage, apparently
>So
>....wait does this mean you're into coltdom?
>eww
>>25618277
"He will be very late returning to his place of employment. We cannot imagine that his boss will be very pleased with him. Will the human lose his job, sister?"
>>25618651
RING RING
"Hello? Yes, this is pony. Is there any news about my foal?"
"....."
"Yes, I am aware you've got the building under surveillance...."
"...."
"....what."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HUSBAND IS THERE"
"YOU JUST LET HIM IN WITH THE CUNT THAT KIDNAPPED MY FOAL"
"NO I DON'T CARE HOW TALL ANON IS YOU MARES SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING YOUR SUN-DAMNED JOBS"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP I /AM/ CALM"
"*heavy breathing*"
"If my stallion has so much as a SCRATCH on him when the ponice drag him and my little foal out of there, Celestia herself won't keep me from you, Ponice Chief Cuddle Wings."
>>25618748
aaaah
AAAAAAH
(excitement intensifies)
>>25619097
>Chrysalises kidnaps pony waifu
> Anon beats changelings black and more black
> Hugs and pampers her "Are you alright honey I was so worried"
>>25618651
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROFsV18qrdQ&ab_channel=Paddy3one
>>25619190
>Ponywaifu cries marely tears, says she's just so happy to see that you're alright
>Refuses to admit she was scared for herself
>Refuses to let go of you the entirety of the next day
>>25616511
>Arschficken von Katzenvogel
Google searching whatever the fuck those words are gives me ghost porn vids tube.
What.
The.
Fuck.
>>25619190
>>25619325
How many lovebugs realize their coltdom fetish and follow Anon home?
>>25619596
>"Oh no, Anon, I've kidnapped your wife! She's all tied up on your bed. You'd better come save her."
>"Oh no, you've saved her. Aren't you going to punish her for getting subdued so easily by me?"
>"Mmmm, you caught me, Anon. You could always turn me over to the ponice, or... You could punish me yourself."
That was the day Anon made peace with the entire changeling race.
>>25619596
>Anon thinks it's the same bug
>It's many, many bugs rotating out
>Be Chrysalis
>You have been looking a husband ever since your plan to marry Shining Armor was ruined
>Being a single mother for hundreds of changeling nymphs is hard
>They need a caring father figure to look after them while you worked on your miniature train set
>You love trains...
>Oh! What do we have here?
>There's a big, green minotaur like creature talking to some ponies
>With the feeling of love coming off of the mares, you can guess that it's male
>The green creature waves bye to the mares as they leave and he closes the door
>Making sure nopony was around, you trot up to the door and knock
>The creature answers and looks confused at your appearance
>Being this close, he actually looks pretty cute for a whatever he is
>"Can I help you Miss..."
"Hi! My name is Chrysalis. I just have a question for you. Are you good with foals?"
>"Uh... Well, I've babysit a few times around town before. Managed to look after the Crusaders three times now without them breaking anything."
>Cute and good with kids
>He is meeting all your standards!
"Great! I'm sure you'll make a perfect husband."
>You hit him with a knock-out spell and catch him before he hits the ground
>Your mama taught you how to treat a stallion right
>Grabbing him by the waist, you fly off to your hive to introduce their new daddy
>The two of you are going to be so happy together!
>>25618651
>"Ahnon! Ahnon!"
>Looking up from the fence post you have been dealing with for the past fifteen minutes and are just this far from kicking the damn thing you look up to see Applejack galloping at you with all speed.
"Applejack? Hun, what's wrong?"
>"Cider's gone!"
>Gone.
"What, what do mean?!"
>"Some no good varmin's run off with her! Left a note here look!"
>Parchment in the face you quickly scan it.
>It looks like it was written by a retard.
"Pony gives bits for stupid pony child."
>....
>They called your baby girl STUPID?!?!?!?
>You were already simmering from the fucking post, but now you're going to crush some one's fucking skull in now.
>"There's more Ahnon, they said that if'n we don't deliver by tomorrow their...their gonna eat her!"
"Where."
>Applejack sniffs before staring at you in confusion, "Huh?"
"Where is this exchange going to be?"
>"Out in the gem fields Rarity uses fer her dresses. Ahnon we don't have the bits fer it and Ah don't know if we can get her back!"
>Fist crumpling the note you growl under your breath.
"Ah'll be rite back, hun git yer rope."
>"A-Ahnon?"
>Ignoring her for the moment you go towards the wood stump you use for chopping wood.
>Well Applejack chops the wood since she insist that it ain't colty work.
>You still chop the wood anyway tho.
>Grabbing the ax you march towards the barn where you see Applejack with her rope.
>"Sugarcube, what ya doin' with the ax? You can hurt yourself with that thing."
"Oh something's going to get hurt."
>You grab the whetstone and start to grind the blade sparks flying with the friction.
"Now where's that field?"
>"It's ou- Ahnon! You can't be serious!"
"I"m as serious as can be Hun, now where is it?"
>"No, Ah'm not loosing both of you a-"
>Thunk
>Gently laying your waifu down you wince at the knot on her head.
"Oh she's going to be so pissed when she wakes up..."
>>25619987
>Grabbing the ax you start to jog into town.
>Once into town you hide the ax under your over large flannel shirt.
>Knew you had a reason for Rarity making them extra large.
>Speaking of, there's the mare of the hour.
"Rarity!"
>"Darling? How are you today, what are you doing in town?"
"Oh nothing much, just doing some grocery shopping, say you wouldn't happen to know where that feild for gems is by chance would you?"
>Blinking the marshmellow gives a soft hum, "Well yes, but why do you need to know?"
>Falling in step with the mare you smile, "I just wanted to get a gift for Applejack she's working so hard to help the family you know?"
>Come on you daft bint tell me where these fuckers are.
>" Then why would you go out in the wild when you can just buy the gems you want here in town?"
>Inwardly groaning as your rage grows with these delays you simply respond
"Human custom is that when you want to present a gift you get yourself, no shortcuts with retailer's. Now that location?"
>"Oh that's so sweet, well it's just a fifteen minute walk north of the Everfree, if you want I could accompany you, after all there have been sightings of Diamond Dogs there before."
>Bingo.
"No need to worry, I'll be super careful. Ta!"
>"Darling wai-"
>Taking off before she can finish you haul ass towards the fields.
>Skidding to a stop near a hole in the ground that looks fit for a mineshaft you grin savagely.
"Hang on baby girl, Daddy's coming."
>Sliding down the dirt you soon enter the caverns below.
>>25619999
>Oh yer aching head...
>What happened?
>Gingerly yer head and feel the knot there.
>Last ya remember yer were talkin' with Ahnon then...
>Eyes widen in realization before you take off into town.
>That consarnit fool!
>Ya understood colt's sense of dramatics, but this takes the Apple!
>Ya soon find the Carasoul Bootique and slam the door open.
"Rarity!"
>"Darling? What ever has you in su- Celestia's great sugary mane what happened to you dear?"
"None of that now! Did 'Non come by 'ere asking bout them gems you hunt down?!"
>Perplexed Rarity only stares, "Well yes, but he was saying he wanted to know for a gift, for you."
"Darn it all Rares ya apple cored fool!"
>Drawing back in shock you can just see her mane curl at your insult.
>"Excuse you?!"
"Cider's been foalnapped and Ahnon's got the fool idea to go after them!"
>Rarity's eye's bug out at that as she leaps in the air, "WHAT?!"
"Egsactly! Now git the girls and meet me at the fields we gotta save Non!"
>With the girls gathered up you stop at the entrance of the cave system.
>>25620013
>"Oh I can't believe Anon went in by himself! What was he thinking?!"
>"Yeah it's like he went loco in the coco!"
>"I've read that colts can go a bit insane when their young are threatened."
>"Twilight do you read everything or is that just your fantasy novels?"
>"Their not fantasy! Their roman-"
>"Ha got'cha!"
"Girls! Focus we got a colt to rescue!"
>Honestly some of these mares...
>However, before you can go and rescue your husbando you spot something in the gloom!
"Get ready something's there!"
>Trudging forwards the figure reveals itself to be a diamond dog!
>You start to charge forward when it falls over with a groan.
>Rearing back in surprise you are nearly bowled over by your friends.
>Sticking out of the dogs back is an ax!
>That's your ax!
>"Bout time ya'll showed up."
>Anon!
>"Mama!"
>Out of the cave runs your baby girl Cider!
>Following after her is Anon looking bruised and IS THAT BLOOD?!
>He's bleeding!
>Clutching your girl close to your chest tuft you nicker nervously as Anon stumbles down to eye level.
>"Sorry took so long, bastards were hiding everywhere."
>Seeing your face Anon flushes and rubs his head, "Sorry about the blow to the head too..."
>"Mama! Mama! Papa was awesome he busted the door and then boom, bam! They were all gone and sleeping! Just like Papa did with the rest of 'em!"
"R-right sleeping...I'm just glad yer back Sugarcube..."
>Today was a learn your Husbando was terrifying kind of day.I dunno I feel like I went edge, but this is pissed off Anon who dun want his kid getting eaten anything less than total annihilation of the threat would lead to some shitty reasonings
>>25620021
>"Get away from her, you BITCH!"
Anon deeply regretted not bringing the flamethrower.
>>25620021
That's what happens when you try to take a man's main supply of booze.
>>25619887
>You are Anon
>It's been nearly seven months since you were kidnapped by Chrysalis.
>And you know what? It isn't actually all that bad.
>Maybe it's just the Stockholm Syndrome talking, but Chrysalis is pretty alright once you get to know her.
>And you would NEVER admit this to one of your guy-friends back on Earth, but hearing one of the changeling drones call you "daddy" makes you feel satisfied with life like nothing else has.
>There's also the issue of the ponies never ONCE sending a search party out for you.
>You would know. You bribed a few guards with a heaping of platonic daddy-love if they kept you informed.
>Fucking magical ponies with their goddess-princesses, can't even find a giant green biped in a sea of bug-ponies.
>Swear to god, the cave you're in looks ominous and evil as HELL. It's the FIRST place they should have looked.
>But, anyway.
>The Drones are adorable, and they all love you.
>The sex with your wife is strange (you gagged the first time she used one of her leg-holes on you), but satisfying.
>Things could be a lot worse.
>>25620021
>I dunno I feel like I went edge
Unprovoked and needlessly graphic violence is edgy. Minimalist parental rage is justified.
>>25616789
>mfw this fucker doesn't know what cadence actually is
shut up anon
>>25620107
>Minimalist parental rage
Now when you say that...whatchu mean willis?
>>25619454
assfucking the catbird
but i'm not a germanfag so it's probably wrong
guten tag krankenwagen fluddermaus ich bin du bist
>>25620107
ManlyAnon saving his waifu/daughteru from the D-Dogs or any other monstrosities when?I know we got one short, but I want more
>>25620021
Humans are spoopy.
>>25620021
I didn't realize how much I wanted this until I saw it.
>>25620142
I think he means its minimalist because he didn't go into detail about the gore just kind of said it was there with no descriptions and the fact there was violence involved at all is justified with the reasoning 'doing bad stuff for your kids' sake isn't overtly edgy/evil"
>Sexytimes with ponywaifu
>"This time, YOU be the mare."
>this means two very different things to Anon and Ponywaifu
>>25620142
>Unprovoked and needlessly graphic violence
Slowly and painfully dismembering someone with a flaming chainsaw because of a preserved slight.
>Minimalist parental rage
Clean, non-drawn out punishment on the dick who wants to hurt your precious daughteru.
>>25620021
In happy pony world Anon doing extreme acts of violence (to them at least) for the sake of those he loves would make him seem kinda like a yandere.
>Anon teaches them the true meaning of "who's your daddy".
>>25618578
>>All your life you're told colts love teats that are not easily twisted
You know how to press our buttons, don't you, BNW?
>>tuft-splitting turning into pet-play
d-double l-l-lewd!!!
>>25620173
Yea, once google translate decided to kick it thats what all the results showed, just that first result was that ghostvidstube site. By the way, I recommend not visiting that site, as it is terrible. Shit porn with ugly people.
>>25620021
reveal thy name, samefag!so that we can horsemarry. I-if that's o-okay w-w-with you...
>>25620428
Gilda isn't ugly, so this isn't a problem with die Katzenvögel
>>25620458
>Samefag
>I ever did that
>Come on really, I've never even used a trip!Th-thats lewd!And I want to be p-pure for my mare!T-though an Anon needs experiance right?
>>25620515
Why are our names of the screen the same then? Present thy posterior so that we may gaze upon thine mark and judge thy booty!Don't you know that all anons are the same person, talking to himself?
>>25620224
>>seem kinda like a yandere.
>This is how the ponies actually see Anon
>He just hasn't noticed yet.
>>25620541
Pfft, Luna Buna we already know it's you, should like totally relax a bit and enjoy the good vibes Sis.
>>25620543
>Be Apple horse.
>Enjoy the apple bucking
>Suddenly a timberwolf appears!
>You give as good as you got, but it knocked you out cold!
>Next thing you wake up to is Anon waking you up by a fire that smells faintly minty.
>"Hey hun, you alright? That wolf got ya good, but hey I made him into a pyre to wake you up some!"
>Notice that in the middle of the fire is the skull of the timberwolf.
>It's empty eyes gaze into you soulfully.
>Today was a dear god husbando can be crazy, but a good kind, not the kill you many time kind tho.
>>25619987
>They called your baby girl STUPID?!?!?!?
>?!?!?!?
>>>>?!?!?!?
dont do this
>>25620089
Sounds pretty great to me.
>>25620569
>Timberwolves are coming
>Ponies do whatever horse things they do to fend off wild beasts
>Anon brings Molotovs
>>25620543
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2727969/Bride-set-fire-killed-groom-slept-ex-lover-wedding-night-revenge-passing-drunk.html
>Bride set on fire and killed by groom after she slept with ex-lover on wedding night in revenge for him passing out drunk
yandere checked
>>25620927
>wasting all that good booze
>>25621025
That's all she had on hand when the cartel came by to kill the witnesses.
Don't think waifu Fiona would just waste booze.
>>25619887
Loving it already
>>25620927
>Using booze to make molotovs
>Wasting ~50% of the molotov volume on the water in the booze
>Not just filling the empty bottles and jars with fuel oils
Come on guys, this isn't rocket science.
>Anon is a rocket engineer
>Keeps doing what he knows
>Magic components let him build big rockets on the cheap
>Is trying to trick Rainbow Dash into boarding one of his rockets so he can shoot her into the moon
>She always doubted his rockets could go faster than sound
>Always giving him shit
>She'll damn well believe he can build a fucking rocket when she's on the goddamn moon
"Hey dash, want to see my new lithobraking techniques?"
>>25621095
>lithobraking
u r making me suspicious durnk wat are u a spacefag or smth
>>Using booze to make molotovs
>>Wasting ~50% of the molotov volume on the water in the booze
>not watching Burn Notice
>not watching Michael Westen get kicked in the head
>not watching his trigger-happy ex-girlfriend wreck shit
>not SAM AXE
>being a faget
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=567FRhGuZRM&index=3&list=ELbFfzV2LNw5c blocked for us ruanons but I bet you can watch it
or just fucking torrent it idk (link to Burn Notice S01E03)
>>She always doubted his rockets could go faster than sound
>Anon gets mighty suspicious Dashie actually can into supersonic
>eggs her on do do a sonic boomrain (hint: that's fucking easy)
>she does - with all the lights and stuff
>verdict: Mach 0.4. Tops.
>turns out the lights and boomings have nothing to do with actual sound barriers
>Dashie's maresculinity is in shambles>Anon adjusts it back to normal with generous teat-twisting
>>25616603
Goddamn, that's hilarious.
>>25621095
>"Hey dash, want to see my new lithobraking techniques?"
Besides, showing Dash lithobraking techniques like she doesn't know or something. She wasn't named Rainbow Crash for nothing.
>>25621251
She's never done lunar lithobraking as far as I know.
Also what would the moon princess think of Anon's rocketry?
Flattered that he's taking such an active interest in her moon?
Upset by him littering it with exploded ponies he launched into space for being annoying?
Launched into the moon herself for pilfering his snacks?
Is Celestia jealous of the attention?
>>25621490
>She's never done lunar lithobraking as far as I know.
Luna did.
>Also what would the moon princess think of Anon's rocketry?
Horrified that Anon is obviously trying to doom a pony to the same fate she had to suffer. Why would somepony want to go to the--- no, scratch that, why would somepony want to send another to the Moon otherwise?
Ponies going to the Moon = lol
>Ponies never go anywhere unless they have to.
>Literally have no idea what's going on around them unless some other non-pony comes through and tells them.
>Not to mention haven't ever circumnavigated the fucking world
>Gryphons say if you go in one direction you arrive in the same place after some time.
>yeah, if you run around in circles pfft hahaha
>If the world is round then how do the princesses make the sun rise?
>>25618748
God that's adorable.
>>25620021
>I feel like I went edge
You didn't. People tend to have low standards for calling it out now, so don't worry. People kidnapping and threatening to kill (and/or eat) one's daughter is a reasonable reason for killing them. You didn't even go into detail about what happened, just making it clear that he killed them in the bit that we didn't see. I was hoping for Anon walking out of there covered in blood, myself.
>>25620121
Are you talking about a military cadence or something?
>>25620197
What the hell does it mean? Pony wears the strap on?
>>25620541
>Don't you know that all anons are the same person, talking to himself?
I saw this idea in another thread ages ago. Are you from there, too?
>>25621490
>>25621551
>Ponies never go anywhere unless they have to.
>Anon decides to travel a little because fuck mares being mares 24/7
>Mares, man!
>Not to another town though.
>Roughing it! In the forest! For a WEEK!
>and he's taking only a single backpack with him
>no tent
>no MATRESS!
>no strategic ice cream supply for the moods!
>not even a portable magic stove
>some mares think he has gone insane
>other think he got himself banished and is trying to save face
>>25621689
>Are you talking about a military cadence or something?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhJz5zbb0Go
cyclofags know the importance of proper cadence
>>Don't you know that all anons are the same person, talking to himself?
>I saw this idea in another thread ages ago. Are you from there, too?
This is as old as the chans themselves. There are only ever two anons - me and you.
>>25621689
>Are you from there, too?
Are you new? This was a thing for years man
>>25618748
To ponies, it might seem like all humans like petplay.
>>25621823
>>25621826
It's just that I'd only seen it here and there.
>Are you new?
>ages ago
>new
Come on.
>>25605496
Anything with caramel, Anon, and mares being mares, I'm there.
>>25621855
>Be Anon.
>Be treating yourself to a caramel sundae.
>Mares in the distance are talking about how depressed you muat be over something if you're risking your coltish figure like this.
>Looking back at your sundae, you notice it's a LOT bigger than you remember.
>And more pony shapped.
>"Shh, I'm hiding" your sundae says.
>Your apetite gone, you walk away, several hungry, or rather "hungry" mares approach the icecream you left behind.
>Generic end
>>25621884
Now give the M Night Shamamallalmana ending.
>>25621943
>Looking back at your sundae, you notice it's a LOT bigger than you remember.
>And more pony shapped.
>Caramel is your sundae.
>What a twist.
And before you ask, micheal bay ending too.
>Looking back at your sundae, you notice it's a LOT bigger than you remember, but not exploding so not important to tue plot.
>And more pony shapped, and still not exploding.
>"Shh, I'm hiding" your sundae says as the shop beside you explodes.
>Your apetite gone, you walk away, not looking at the explosions behind you as several hungry, or rather "hungry" mares approach the icecream you left behind.
>end credits explode.
>>25621773
>Rainbro is one of the latter and bravely decides to follow her horsebando to the ends of Equestria
>Anon is like ok because Rainbro isn't that much of a bitch
>They go hiking for a week, regular forest, not even the scary Everfree.
>Anon uses his advanced bushcraft skills to craft the shit out of those bushesI've always found the term bushcraft very funny
>Rainbro is 50% scared for poor horsebando 50% amazeballs at what he's doing
>Anon, noticing the amazeballs, is so showing off, teaching her ten different types of campfires
>Collects firewood and builds a raft without any tools
>Catches some poor animal frien-- future fried meat
>Even makes somewhat fancy fukken meals from wild plants and stuff.
>Studied the local plant life specifically for this.
>Week passes and out heroes return home
>Nobody understands what happened and why a sane colt would just go into the WILD for FUN
>Most mares prefer to pretend nothing happened because wtf actually
>Rainbro already had a few adventures under her proverbial belt,
>and now that she actually has experience living in the wild, she takes a levelup and becomes drinking buddies with Daring Douche
>Twiggles puts a tracking spell on Anon so he can never get lost like that ever again
>Shutterfly,de-Flower Trio and some other very scaredy shits avoid that vicious predator like wildfire
>Applejack, hearing from Rainbro how you are a resourceful colt that sleeps all night and works all day, starts to lewd it up
>You finally snap when she launches a small apple at you from her horsevagina
>Generous application ofDIPLOMACY! you thought teat-twisting? hah, gotty!saves the day.
>She still wants to horsemarry you though
"Sorry, Applejack, but I'm already HORSEBROED"
>Rainbro swoops down from the heavens to answer your call
>And carries you into the sunset like an adorable little jetpack
>you steer her through teat-twisting
>>25621855
>Be Anon the chocolate maker in Equestria.
>Got kicked out of britain for inviting people to your factory under the guise of a competition and then feeding them ALL THE DRUGS.
>Or maybe you ate one of the "special" chocolates by mistake, you can't be sure.
>Either way, your clientele is now mostly magical ponies.
>Today you are releasing a new terrifically tasty toffee treat to the town as a test.
>IT'S FULL OF DRUGS
>You hope to gain feedback to improve your technique, you've never been particularly focused on catering to the equine palette.
>So here you are, wheeling a cartload of experimental sweets out the front gates of your factory compound.
>It's not a very long journey into the center of town, and you set up a stall when you get there.
"Come and try my new Caramel Cream Chocolates, free today only!"
>Some of the townsponies come up and try them.
>You make sure to pay attention to their reactions as they eat the samples, recording everything on your official-looking clipboard.
>Over the course of the morning you not mostly positive results
>A handfull of the volunteers tried to eat their hooves and had to be restrained and horsepitalised.
>You take this to mean that they got chocolate melted onto themselves and tried to eat it anyway
>Must remember to try raising the melting point to fix that.
>Can't have good chocolate just melting and going to waste.
>By noon you've run out and pack up to return to your factory.
>But before you can leave the town square, a bunch of the townsponies have surrounded you.
>"That's the one, he was giving out free chocolates earlier"
"Sorry ladies, I've already run out for today."
>They leave disappointedly and you continue home.
>Later they break into your factory and get stuck in the giant gummy gears while trying to eat the sugar springs.
>Fucking ponies
>>25621987
>>25621983
>>25621884
>>25621773
>>25621551
>>25620569
Keep going
>>25621884
Very twisty ending:
>Looking back at your sundae, you notice it's a LOT bigger than you remember.
>And more pony shaped.
>"Shh, I'm hiding" your sundae says.
"Who are you hiding from?"
>"Mares, man. They are just weird sometimes, you know?"
"But who are you?
>"Dude, weren't you paying attention? I'm your sundae!"
"you are obviously a pony"
>"No man I'm a sundae, and I was made for you to eat."
>...
>"It's ok, just don't let those mares near me, right? They will probably try to steal a lick or smth"
"Whatever man"
>you start eating the sundae
>mares actually are weird though
>your sundae is pretty based all things considered
---------
>"Twilight, sugarcube, are you really, really sure that leaving anon to his own devices was the best approach? The poor colt is talking to his sundae for pete's sake. He's hurting for a friend!"
>"I know you were raised differently, but you can't just force yourself on a stallion like tha--"
>"Twilight, I never, I never said anything about forcing myself on him!"
>"But there is no difference!! He is torn from his home, vulnerable and alone! A mare could just take advantage of this so easily! No, first he will make some stallion friends, and then we will see about the rest"
>"He don't want nothing to do without stallions, sugar. "
>"Well, that doesn't make any sense. Of course he will make friends with stallions! He's probably just shy, or maybe, maybe humans just take much, much longer to make friends?.."
>>25622054
>Keep going
easy to say.
my writefagging.txt is filling up with story skeletons that I mean to flesh out, but so far all I could do is a anon getting pissed at gay comics and two crackshots
stop shitting and make green good how?
>>25622193
Anon actually wants to find a nice mare, but they are forbidden from advancing on him because he doesn't have any stallion friends.
And without stallion friends to gossip about mares with, who then mention it to their own mares, how's a mare supposed to know if a stallion likes them or not?
>>25622229
>stop shitting and make green good how?
I have no idea.
It's not like I'm letting that stop me from trying though.
Just vomit words at us and maybe they'll be enjoyable to read?
I pretty much just write as i go in the reply box, copy/pasting to a monthly text file for keepsies.
>>25622235
>Anon tries to make friends with various mares.
>They all seem to avoid him though.
>Thinks none of them like him.
>They are all just trying to be good ponies and do what they think is right.
>>25622235
Anon is fucking burnt out at this point and lives in solitude basically. Nobody wants to talk to him except the local faggy stallions.
Mac is fine though but Mac doesn't talk much
Mares just steer clear, wtf.
Shit, it's like home - only worse
>>25622272
>Just vomit words at us and maybe they'll be enjoyable to read?
So far this works, but sometimes the soul just wants something... bigger, ya know?
>>25622293
Anon ends up publicly saying something like, "at this point, I'm half tempted to kidnap and fuck the next mare who so much as smiles at me."
>>25622293
Just do it then.
I think you make longer ones by just keeping writing instead of stopping after a single post.
I've never had more of a plan than just having an idea of what i want to do mentally, never wrote it all down as a proper planamajig
Even if you do a terrible job of it it will still probably be adequete and enjoyable to read.
TL;DR: Do it fgt.
>>25622229
>>25622272
I just write a story idea that pops into my head, then when other anons read it they wind up mentioning something that would have made my story really good, like that Dadnon going after the Diamond Dogs with the line get away from her you bitch, if I had thought to use it that would have been awesome.
>>25622472
Speaking of which...
>Adding the finishing touches to the ensamble you smile.
>Perfect.
>You have to admit that when Rainbow Dash had forced this favor from you, you would have thought it would be a terrible idea.
>Yet the style, the flow of the fabric just seems to draw your eye on the 'mannequin'
>Hearing the door open you turn with a greeting ready on your tongue before seeing it's Anon!
"Darling, welcome back and just in time too. I've finished with your dr- ahem, explorition suit!"
>Stepping to the side you let Anon gracefully walk to you.
>"Huh, it looks alright, rather light in some areas than I had thought."
"Wait till you try it on Darling, go on, I want to see what it looks like on you!"
>Waving his spider hoof at you the stallion starts to gather the clothes.
"Here, let me help."
>Floating the clothes all together you offer them up as a gentlemare would with class and dignity!
>Anon soon scampers off into the dressing room.
>Tidying up in the mean time, no colt ever wants to see a messy mare.
>Click goes the door as you turn around.
>That form.
>Those muscles...
>Dem cheeks!
>Rarity you've done it again ol' girl!
>Biting your lip you barely catch that Anon had said something.
"Oh terribly sorry Darling, but what was that?"
>"Was tryin' to ask ya Shelia that this looks an awful like that outfit your lil' adventure shelia wears in her book, the one where she has to dress up for a Saddle Arabian master."
>Oh buck.
>Buck buck buck.
>Since when did colts ever read anything thicker than a magazine!?
>You can feel sweat slide down your face as your eyes dart about.
"Well you see Darling, the reason for that is...is..."
>"Is?"
>Come on Sis, get it together!
"Is that the design is preferable for working in hot and sweaty climates?"
>"Wot now? I mean I suppose it would be, but Shelia these pants here are rather...see through."
"Of course, how else would it allow you to be protected from the sun yet allow your skin to breath well."
>Sell it.
>Sellithard!
>>25622589
>"Hm...fair enough Shelia, thanks for the clothes, I'll go ahead and get my bits."
"OH! It's not problem at all Darling, you can go ahead and have the outfit for free. After all you did take a chance on me designing it."
>"Wow thanks Rarity, well I'm goin' to head over to Twilights to see what I can learn from her books."
"Mm take care Darling."
>Watching as dat plot waves tantlzingly away from you, you follow after at a leasuirly pace.
>Can't have other colts calling you a rapist or some other silly nonsense!
>Stopping at the door you watch as Anon trots through town.
>A muffled beat of wings and the thud of a landing pony draws your eyes to Rainbow looking shocked.
>"You actually got him to wear it?!"
"Indeed Darling, did I not say I would?"
>"Y-yeah but I didn't think he would actual wear the erotic slave out fit from Daring Do and the Saddle Arabian Herds!"
"Well a lady has her ways after all."
>Smirking you simply hold out your forehoof to your rainbow colored friend.
>A solid clop echoes as Rainbow knocks hooves with your own.
>"My Sis!"
"Quite, now about that little incident you had seen."
>Rainbow wipes her hoof through the air, "Consider it forgotten!"
So, if a woman eating a banana works as a stand-in for a penis, what would Anon eat sensually as a stand-in for a ponyvag/clit?
Also good job, >>25622640. This is proper RGRE.
>>25622723
Beans.
>>25622723
Sandwich?
Taco?
Subtly ponyvag shaped candy?
Not so subtly ponyvag shaped candy?
Jellybeans?
Filly vag?
Frosted donuts?
Also, mares know that a colt who works with dials will be skilled at twisting teats.
>>25622723
Licking a mango or taking his time with a juicy peach.
>>25622831
Apples as he's biting down on it the juices will spill over his mouth and when you see that satisfying crunch of apple skin breaking means that his teeth are in good order and would be deadly on the candy vag, after all you don't want no gums down there!
>>25622723
A peach, obviously.
Oh come on, how is no one at least chuckling at the thought of a colt gazing seductively at a mare while eating out a filly? (Potentially his daughter. Talk about strange ways to help your dad score)
>>25622954
Hey, that filly needs a strong mother figure in her life. Time for her to pull her weight.
So do you think in places like saddle arabia, all the colts have to be covered while in public, and can only travel with herdmates and such? What kind of laws do you think they'd have in a place like that?
>>25622723
Fucking ice cream obviously.
Some colts even try and see who can go the deepest into their cone without biting the waffle.
Also anything that comes in a shallow can like yogurt (do they even have it? idk I'd lick the shit out of a yogurt container in front of a mare though.)
>>25622723
Another colt.
The princesses.
Things that are toxic to ponies, for that exotic charm.
Donuts.
A sex toy.
More princesses.
Something he just cooked because colts should be in the kitchen.
A burrito.
Brrains, because she's secretly a zompony.
More donuts.
>>25623039
>They see Anon as very modest and respectable, since he wears far more clothing than any pony.
>A true beacon of Unequine virtue, look at how he wears clothes under his clothes!
>Then declare him only fit to be with a god and jihad anyone of lower rank that tries to get the D from him
>>25622972
You would not believe the shock on the orphanage manager's face when Anon, a single male wanted to adopt. They couldn't say no either, seeing how quickly he bonded with his chosen filly.
>>25622892
>"Whatcha watchin', Applejack?"
>Rainbow Dash lands next to you with a soft ~thuft~
>You don't even bother with an answer; you just point your hoof at the sight yer drinkin' in.
>O'er yonder is that human-colt, Anawn. He's relaxin' an' lying against a tree with a bushel o' Sweet Apple Acres apples by his side.
>While y'all can 'ppreciate a compliment, yer more concerned with what that colt's doin' with'em.
>Yer friend gazes towards the object of yer affection, and y'all both watch Anawn wolf down apple after apple.
>Mmmm, yer glad to see he knows his way 'round an Apple.
>When you look at the way his strong jaw breaks through the plump, red skin, y'all can't help but admire his teeth.
>Flat, fer the most part, but he done got a hint of canines hidden just off to the side.
>Not sharp 'nough to use like a timberwolf uses her teeth, but pointy 'nough to pinch yer skin good'n proper.
>Them canines must be made fer piercing, cuz they puncture that apple's skin like NUTHIN'.
>Oh, filly, and that satisfying crunch as he tears off a piece of juicy flesh?
>Juices dribbling down his chin and onto his chest...
>Anawn's gonna eat out that apple right down to the core, Ah tell you whut.
>He's gonna take e'rrything he can from it, that greedy colt.
>An' he'll do it wit' a smile on his face.
>"....Applejack?"
"Consarnit, Rainbow Dash, can't y'all see that Ah'm busy here?"
>Sun-dang birdpones. Don't know when to leave a hardworkin' Salt-of-the-Earth-Pony alone.
>"He saw you."
>Whut.
>Oh buck. Oh buck he done caught y'all spyin' on him lahke y'all were a curious filly.
>He's starin' you right in the eyes, like the predator he is.
>You can hardly believe it, but Anawn WINKS at y'all and gets back to eatin' them apples.
"Oooohhhohoh, dirty colt~"
>>25623075
It's especially hard when dealing with a pegasus orphan. Once Anon picks the foal up, his smell will be imprinted on it and no other pony will take it in.
>>25622831
>>25622778
Gumdrops
>>25623149
Something about this attracts me.
>filly is yours and yours alone, and no one else will have her
>she will never leave you, and no one else will try to look after her>you fuck her brains out every day
>>25623185
>spoiler
why must it always come to incest?
>>25623149
>"My dad could kick your dad's ass."
>None of the other ponies can refute it.
>"Mr. Anon, this kind of behavior is simply unacceptable!"
>Anon gives a hard look to kid
"Don't worry, she'll be punished appropriately
>kid looks sad
>both walk out of school
"So.... did you make 'em regret it?"
>"Bloodied their noses pretty bad."
"Awesome."
>>25623238
It's an adopted filly, so it's fine. And I couldn't think of a way of ending that line of thought.
>>25623238
You know what you did.
>>25623238
Because that's how a father shows his daughter love in RGRE.
>you make a new baby with your mare
>you fuck your daughter when she turns like 6 or something
>your wife says this is wrong
>you twist her teats and cum buckets
>then you go to a field and start yelling about the green there
>>25623287
>if any RGIE poster actually went to Equestria
>>25623185
>>25623238
>>25623256
Can someone explain the filly thing to me? Ok, incest is hot, but wouldn't a mostly grown mare be more fun?
>>25623344
That's like trying to understand foot fetishes. People are just into these things yo.
>>25623344
Imagine a little walking fleshlight that has mouth, anal and vaginal inserts that you can use anywhere, anytime. Also, since mares see it as a sign of a good father, it really draws them to you.
>>25623287
>>25623302
>Grab a mare
>Find her teats
>Then you find the teats' teats
>Then the teats' teats' teats
>Twist those
>They twist all the way up
>TEATCEPTION
>BWAAAAMMM
all the anons in this thread probably came
>>25623344
Hear, hear. Fillies are not for sexual.
Even though this is a fun little mirror image of the glorification of female pedophiles.
>>25623399
Ok, this makes some sense, but it's still kind of off. Far be it from me to tell you to stop liking what I don't like, but I couldn't destroy a filly's innocence like that.
>>25623452
I concur. Filly daughteru is for hugs and love, not for sexual.
>>25621773
So ponies are Hobbits?
>>25623124
[Brazilian Laughing Intensifies]
>>25623617
They aint called small horses for nothing, you see.
Just my headcanon but admit it, it sounds really good.
>>25623172
I like this idea.
>>25623499
My negro.
>You are Anon
>"How do you plead?"
"Ah... I didn't know it wasn't cool with ponies?"
>"You've lived here long enough to know pedophilia is disgusting and should never be tolerated."
"Well what are you going to do?"
>"Anonymous you are sentenced to one year in the Fillydelphia Correctional Facility..."
"Thats not too bad."
>"For Dragons."
"...Female dragons."
>"What? Don't be absurd. You'll be locked up with numerous aggressive adolescent dragons, most raging with hormones."
"That seems a little harsh."
>"Also for the sake of public safety you are to be gelded."
"What does that mean?"
>"I'll let Doctor Snip Snap explain it to you."
>>25624286
This is why you should shag fillies on the first day, without delay.
>>25624344
I find it delightfully disturbing that is the lesson you gleamed from that green.
>>25624286
pedo women dont get sterilized or smth. they get modest jailtime on their third strike
>"It's obvious he just gave the filly what she wanted"
>"best teacher ever"
>"if that hot mess moleted me as a filly i wouldn't lak a word. oh of course not i'd brag like hell"
>"that 'filly' was in her last year in school, sometimes the law is just stupid"
other excuses.txt
>>25624365
I aim to please
>>25624369
The problem with that logic is that in a society where a single male will normally father numerous children amongst multiple females is that any potentially harmful hereditary trait a male has will be source of genuine public concern, because that male's children could make up a sizable fraction of a communities population.
>>25624369
This.
That shit is probably just his fetish or something.
>>25624554
>"Doesn't that just mean she'll never have to worry about finding a herd? Because getting accepted into a herd was the hardest thing I've ever done."
>>25622502
Reposting because it will be hilarious in RGRE.
>Because of cartoon/magic physics pones are indestructible.
>While shaving Anon cut himself.
>Someone noticed that the scratch doesn't healed instantly.
>Pones realize Anon compared with them easily can die.
>Overprotective hell is happening.
>>25624662
>"And getting him hard is the herdest thing I've ever done."
>>25624369
>You are Lazy Days, and you're out drinking with a few of your mare-friends.
>N-no homo.
>Candy Hugs is bragging about the time she was double-teamed by two stallions, and Snuggle Fluff is telling her story about how this one stallion from a few years ago lasted a whole 45 seconds.
>Pfft.
>You've got a trump card that beats them all.
>Every single time.
>You down the remainder of your cider and pound the tankard on the table to get their attention.
"I can do the both you you one better."
>They look at you expectedly, each nursing their own drinks.
"Back when I was in Elementary School.... uh, do either of you remember Mister Anonymous? The Human?"
>Both of them nod, unsure of where you're going with this.
"Well, one day he told me to wait for him after class. He took me to that little room behind the classroom and he started to pet my mane and told me that I was a pretty pony."
>You flag down the waiter for another cider, making sure to get a good look at his plot when he turns and walks away.
"The next thing I know, he's kissing me."
>"Bullshit!"
>That was Candy Hugs.
>>"Yeah, this never happened, Lazy. Give it up."
>And there's Snuggle Fluff.
>You shake your head.
"I can describe to you both exactly what a human penis looks like, and you can take that to Princess Twilight to confirm it."
>Your two friends are looking at each other with growing smiles.
"After that, he lays me down on my back on his couch and starts licking my cunt, right?"
>Snuggle Fluff is impressed.
>>"But... but stallions HATE doing that."
"Not Mister Anonymous, the way he was going at it. He made sure I came before he took off his human pants and showed me his cock."
>>25624825
>You smile nostalgically.
"It had this big, purple bulbous head, and the smell that came off it was so much stronger than any stallion I've fucked since then."
>Your cider arrives and you thank your waiter with a quick slap on the flank.
"He was smaller than most stallions, I'll admit that. But here's another thing you can double-check with the Princess of Friendship: Human Stamina. Y'all dykes were bragging about your colts lasting up to 45 seconds, but MY Anonymous lasted TEN MINUTES."
>By the looks on their faces, your friends either can't believe you, or they're just in shock.
"Swear on my papa's grave. I came so many times that day."
>You bask in the silence that follows and enjoy your drink. Your friends need a chance to recover from getting their booty-stories BLOWN OUT OF THE FUCKING WATER.
>Candy Hugs is the first to speak up.
>"H-how old were you?"
>You lean back in your chair and grin proudly.
"Ten years old. And you know what? We kept fucking til I left for high school."
>You down the remainder of your drink and consider asking for another.
"Best part was, I never smelt another filly's scent on him."
>You smile sadly, having not see Anonymous in almost a decade.
"I was his special little filly."
>He told you so every single day.
>>25624666
Somebody do Satan's green.
>>25624832
I liked this. A mare bragging about how she got banged as a filly. It shows how memorable and enjoyable it was for her.>tfw you are no longer young enough to be preyed upon
>>25624832
GJ pluggy. This doesn't sound so funny though when you personally know a guy who fathered a child at 14 with one of the teachers, and another one who nearly did, but actually fucking understood what was about to happen and backed the fuck out.
But yo're still aright
>>25624954
I can't believe I'm fucking posting this, nor can I remember why I saved it, but here, become a cute boy and get fucked by older probably pedophilic women
>>25624983
>>25624832
The reason she never saw Anon again is because he died in a sudden, tragic accident.
That's how the story goes, right?
>>25624996
You know what's worse?I have the one that's like that, but about becoming a trap, saved.
>>25625057
He died by getting fucking in the butt.
>>25625059
Post that shitplease
>>25625095
So, the filly ponut was too tight, or was it a Mr Hands situation?
>>25625202If you lose it, you could easily get it again from a trap thread on /b/, /d/, /soc/, or on /r/.
>>25625288you're not afaggot
>>25625278
Ponut too tight. Ripped his cock right off.
>>25625038
Yeah, that's the little problem with minors. You want kids - they want to go steal the neighbor's strawberries or hang out at that cool abandoned building.
The one that didn't father a child actually had a mostly positive experience - except for the little bit when she told him that she wants a child and where she is his foreign langs teacher, so school was very, very, VERY uncomfortable for him after the 'breakup'.
He turned out alright in the end, good guy, successful in his field, goes through life like a great wind, picks chicks up like nobody's business.
I can't help but think the last part is because he's disillusioned with women after teacherfucking though.
As he is obviously male, he is discouraged from whining about it, so we probably won't know how much exactly did teachfuck mess him up.
>>25625335
Poor bastard. At least he died doing what he loved
>>25625366
I'm real sorry to hear about your friend, Anon, but I'm glad that he's making it through life. A lot of people would have been held back by that kind of thing happening to them when they're just a kid. Even worse is that there isn't much support (then or now) for male victims of female paedophiles. The victims are told that they should feel lucky or, as you said, should stop "whining" about it. The paedophile is given a slap on the wrist and Tumblr proudly waves her flag. It really is awful being a man, sometimes.
>>25625445
the filly or fucking?
>>25625653
Por que no los dos?
>>25625751
SPANIARDS AND PEDOPHILIA? OH GOD, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.
I'm gone for ten hours and suddenly you're all pedophiles. Jesus Christ, this is why we can't have nice things.
>>25625455
Hey, don't feel sorry for my friend, feel sorry for the poor fuck that became a father at the ripe age of 15. I have no idea how that might feel.
And the older partner getting away with it is minor shit. I'm much more annoyed that, since the issue is hot with the electorate, having a calm discussion on how it actually affected the younger is impossible.
Whenever two countries start duking it out, the fashionable intellectual position is the middle one, where you go in the middle, blame "both sides" and be a fucking faggot.
Yet when it's something that actually touches the lives of regular humans - oh no, we're going extreme to the max AND DON'T INTERRUPT ME, I'M READING, FUCKFACE
>>25625854
>suddenly
Welcome to 4chan.
>>25625288
Wasn't this thing disproven? I remember an actual doctor came along and refuted every bit of that.
Ok anons, my extreme diarrhea butthurt has finally died down a bit and I will try to get some sleep.
Stay frosty, and don't fuck little fillies. The mares are tight enough for that purpose.
Besides, with adult mares there is always the option of________teat-twisting_______.
Can't do that with fillies, you know.
>>25625993
I remember there being at least one other version. I don't know if this is the newer one or what.
>>25626040
The stallions are tighter. You know what's tighter than them?The colts.
>>25625978
I got one of those bans back on /co/ a few years ago. Called someone a dirty jew and got a three day ban.
It was strange.
>>25626067
>The stallions are tighter.
>>25626097
Was that when SJW-like activity was being highlighted? I remember seeing a cap of a guy being banned just for asking why there were so many black people on /fa/.
>>25626125
Just imagine it. They probably have no idea how good a prostate-prodding feels and no one will even think it's gay because they're "just experimenting".
>>25626040
>Can't do that with fillies, you know
Try harder.
>>25626153
>Just imagine it. They probably have no idea how good a prostate-prodding feels
They do.
They are all faggots
Everypony is gay in Equestria
And monosexuals are seen as wretched beings incapable of love and friendship.
What mare wouldn't help out her sis in heat?
What stallion wouldn't comfort hisfriendowith gentle assfucking?
Do you even horse?
>>25626153
>Was that when SJW-like activity was being highlighted?
Hell if I remember. I just know it was when some jackass came to /co/ and started advertising their own youtube animation thing. I called him a dirty jew (in the days before "shill" was a popular term) and got a three day ban for it
>"How can a beta mare get a stallion like that?"
>"Hey colt, wanna be with a real mare?"
>"You self-hating misandrist! Whorse! Your low standards shame your whole gender!"
write prompt: Anon is average-looking, but is considered attractive because he is, for a stallion, very assertive. Enter: pudgy, socially awkward mare. basically one of us. they fuck.
GO
>>25626229
>You will never help a mare come to terms with her monosexuality
>You will never fuck her herd-sisters, roleplaying as her living cooler
>You will never make her feel the joy of making love to another mare by proxy
>She will never kiss her herd-sister at the same time as you are filling her with cum
>You will never let her bond with her herdmates through orgasms by fingering them both while they hug
>You will never fuck her sun-damned disability away and help her find harmony
why live?
>>25626369
>stallion
>assertive
>attractive
pick only 2, bucko
>>25626447
I don't know why, but the way you said that makes it sound really nice.
>tfw nobody depends on you for emotional support
>tfw you are meaningless
>>25626478
when i say assertive, i mean not ambiguously gay like most stallions are portrayed to be.
a mare on the street will be like, "hey colt you got a beautiful smile"
and anon will be all, "hey thanks"
and the colts around him will shit themselves in disgust at what the mare said
>>25626478
Weak willed stallions have more difficulty maintaining a herd.
Polygamy DEMANDS deference towards a central figure to work.
Herds where the stallion handles that himself, rather than handing things over to the alpha mare tend to be larger, happier, and have many, many more children.All the coddling of males makes such guys very, very hard to find.
>>25626525
So, by assertive you mean mare with a dick, and by attractive you mean approachable.
Oh boy, hay spilling mares incoming in 3...2...1
>>25626546
They are also usually composed of weaker-willed, less successful mares, so fuck yo happiness I guess.
Mythical stallions that help their led mares be marely don't count, because humans don't exist.
Also promptan
>human for horses == unicorn for humans
>magic heaing powers, follows virgins, beaut, etc
>in comes anon
>they recognize him as human
>they ALSO recognize he's a pretty, ehhh, mediocre specimen
>dashed_expectations.avi
>>25611041
>>25611137
Eh, I'll do a quickie.
>Caramel starts sniffling.
>"I-I was just going out to get the groceries again when I ran into that SLUT Time Turner again."
>He starts straight out crying, tears and snot down his face like a baby.
>Damn it.
>"A-AND HE GLOATED ABOUT STEALING MY HERD FROM ME AGAIN!"
>You sighed as Caramel started shoving more ice-cream in his mouth in-between sobs.
>It had been like this for the past three months, and you were really getting tired of it.
>You kneel down and start petting Caramel as he cries.
"There, there... It'll be alright."
>That's it.
>You need to do something about this.
>But what?
>"T-Thanks, Anon. You're a great friend, even if you are the mareliest stallion I've ever met."
>You roll your eyes.
>That was another thing about Equestria. Gender roles were reversed here.
>It had confused you for a while until you asked Twilight why all the guys here were so feminine.
>At least by human standards.
"Your welcome."
>That's when you get an idea.
"Hey, do you want to egg his house?"
>Caramel looks back up at you with a surprised expression.
>"W-What?"
>You nod in confirmation.
"Let's go throw eggs at his house. If he's being this much of a jerk, then why not get revenge?"
>Carmel shakes his head, "No way! What if we get caught by the police?"
>You snorted.
>You've seen this world's excuse for a police force. Not very impressive.
"I'll handle it. Come on, it'll be good for you!"
>He shakes his head again in denial.
>"No, Anon! I won't sink to his level!"
>You sigh.
"Think of the way he stole your herd. Think of how he's been gloating about it every time since then. Doesn't that piss you off?
>Caramel stops for a moment.
>He just... stares off into space.
>It's kind of creepy actually.
>Then his eyebrows slowly settle into the most intense glare you've ever seen on him.
>Which is still pretty pathetic but at least he's trying.
>"I'll... I'll do it!"
>You grin.
"That a boy, Caramel!"
>>25626673
you're good, but namedropping rgre why?
we're all good old girls here, we understand
(unless we are that not-rgre-enough-guy)
>>25626717
Colt's dont use the ponynet, come on Sis you know better than that.
>>25626717
All jokes aside, this is probably the chillest general on /mlp/ that I've been to.
>>25626843
not-rgre-enough is such a guy
poor thing got used to saying horseapples as nopony ever corrected him
>>25611137
>Canadian cigarette pack
What's the joke?
>>25627335
You. You are the joke
>>25611137
>Go without smokes for like a day
>Lungs kill me
>Mouth watering like a motherfucker because muh oral fixation
Yeah, I know the feeling
/inhale
Seriously though Anti-smoking campaigns are a fucking joke. They do more harm than good.
They need to say, "It's bad for you and you will gain no benefits from it in the long run" and leave it at that. Why is it so hard for them? Scare tactics only bring out the rebellious side in people, as a smoker I should know.
I know I should quit as the benefits are endless, then I see this shit and think, "fuck that guy telling me what to do, I do what I want, and I WANT a smoke" It's too late for me, but they are fucking it up for other impressionable youths
>Rambling on about this shit on a horse board like it's a blogI'm not drunk, really
>>25626673
This reminds me of a green that was similar, only it ended with Caramel moving in with Anon.
>>25628003
It's ok to ramble, anon.
>bring out the rebellious side in people, as a smoker I should know.
I only got my driver's license when everybody stopped telling me to do it. I only started eating healthy once people gave up on telling me I'm fat. I understand.
Women react better to shaming though, so it targets them, and then your qt34 gf will nag you to stop smoking because she did, and you will do it because pusseh
>>25624666
>>25624860
There's Overprotective Celestia, that I made a while back. here:
http://pastebin.com/juxfuj7P
>>25628221
maybe because everyone tries to make their caramelanons compatible?
>>25628221
We enjoy that interpretation of Caramel, so when we use him in stories we tend to have references to other stories he was in.
>>25628249
Well, that was moderatly amusing.
>>25626673
>caramel since then became the Manliest tiny horse in equestria
>taking no shit from no one
>under the tutelage of anon and his philosophy of man
>brought forth by a man namedJOHN CENA
fucks sake this thread is dead
>you are Anon
>you are in arachnequestria
>you've got a terrible spider-wife
>a jumping spider named "rainbow dash"
>it's been five years and it's taken you that long to get over the pants-shitting horror of dog-sized spiders that can fly and do magic
>the two of you have sex for the first time
>both of you cum
>she tears your penis off, eats your head, and wraps your corpse up to consume later
>all the other spider-ponies fawn over her egg web-sac containing hundreds of her children
>rainbow dash sheds a single tear from one of her eight eyes and names them all "anon jr"
>>25629467
thats not rgre at all
>>25629467
Threads always slow down as they reach the post limit. Content creators would rather post in a new thread than one that's about to sage, and so we wait for a new thread to be made.
>>25629636
On it.
New Thread
>>25629695
>>25629695
