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137 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27404496

Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27404496
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

First for sexy hooves!

>Princess Applejack

More like Queen Chitania, am I right?

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>>27463430
Way to go buddy!

fuck you, autists

>>27463430
He made it!

>>27463440
number of times AJ was said typed or in a story last thread 77
number of times with her full name - intro post mentions 43
combined 120
number of chitty/chitania mentions storys, etc... 55

not quite.

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>>27463496
Oh you made my day with that

>>27463496
Fucking background characters taking up all the screentime from the REAL star

>>27463509
Cloudchaser and Derpy?

They singlehandedly wiped out 5/8 of the PP posts, and 2/8 was done by a CMC story, of which there's almost always a requisite one per prophecy(Unless someone taking over forgets to do it.)

Derpy and Cloudchaser are weirdly popular.

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>>27463454
Hey, you made it over from /bat/.

>>27463509
>background characters
The Changelings 3 and up are background characters, the unnamed Morlocks are background characters, the unnamed citizens of Canterlot are background characters.

Everyone else is either a side, a support or a main character. Get your shit straight if you want to shit on something with some semblance of accuracy.

>>27463553
>Everyone else is either a side, a support or a main character.

Technically, Sunset/Chitty and PD are main antagonists, not main characters or support characters, and they don't qualify as side as they directly affect the plot. You don't throw them under the same umbrella as "Main character" because while we follow their exploits they will usually be counteractive with the 'main' cast unless there is conflict involved, and as they're not there to support the MC's they don't qualify as that, Antagonists are their own thing.

Agree with what you said, just wanna clarify for someone wondering if Chitty actually is a MC at this point. Currently no, but as Chrysalis showed she could be added to the main cast post conflict.

>>27463067
K

The constant onus of Chitania, in terms of main plot involvement, action scenes, power levels and sheer girth has grown tiring in it's own right, which is compounded when the thread takes a turn into delving into more and more of her backstory to be manufactured, possibilities of future arcs and more involvement with/against characters who's sole driving force for the better part of half a year in real time/since their inception is focused on this one character.

Chitania has now become THE main focus and/or instigator and/or driving force and/or pivotal character of major events in the main plot, overshadowing and out "gunning" other main characters and arcs simply because they lack the sheer scale and conflict that this one character provides.

This tends to eat up our better and more workaholic writers into posting gluts of dialogue; either internal/external/smashy smashy, and story to Chitania, drawing attention away from the main cast of characters. I.E far less is devoted to playing with AJ's character who has still proven the hardest to flesh out* owing to the show-inherited straight man trait that poleaxes any flexibility in character writing.

All of the grievances are compounded by the fact that Chitania is a pure blooded OC, a character that perpetually reminds the thread of the severe weaknesses in the characterisation of the "canon" characters and that you'd be having a lot more fun if you just dropped juggling both prior show-canon and emergent character around and wrote someone entirely fresh off the imagination production line.

1/2

>>27463584

Further exasperated by the amount of thread-posting dedicated to discussing potential abilites/future fights/backstory/general fanwank around this one kaiju-expy character, as far as art of the character no I'm not hating on the artists themselves fuck off that is geared solely to the ridiculous endpoint of the character:

"no gods no masters only smashing" was a belief borne out of a character who had effectively lost their marbles and was simply very very mad; much like a petulant angsty teenager.

And now several people are eagerly awaiting the actual showdown between this kaiju-expy OC and what is considered by both this thread and /mlp/ as a whole as the MLP's closest analogue to "God", and sans divinity; the personification of the woman who was the main raison de etre for us to be having this thread on a Tibetan Radiator Collecting Imageboard.

It's completely stupid and kicks any and all sense of "stakes" from the story into a mushy mess in it's own right, and then it is all for an OC that gives it the majestic rise into super-relevance and a fully fleshed out character, all of that devotion and work put into it, and not the character whose thread it is meant to revolve around, and is still not as appealing to write about than almost any other character in the story.

*And before you say "Then just write her doing something" you have to remember there are a lot of people in this thread who cannot write for crap, even without stepping on the thread ghosts toes for violating a characters previous actions. You know the stories they wrote, and they know who they are. Not everyone can write stories, that is the job of writefags. This thread is nothing but a collection of writefags except with the trips filed off

2/2

>>27463579
Ah, thanks for that, I knew I was forgetting something but yes I agree!

>>27463584
>>27463587
So what you're saying is we need to kill her, because it will help AJ's character. It is almost like I said this last arc.

>>27463587
>and not the character whose thread it is meant to revolve around,

I've never enjoyed this mindset, that because the thread is named "Princess Applejack" it's somehow a slight if another character gets a bit more screentime or development than her previously. This whole argument, while having some points to it, smacks of the exact same flavor and desperation that was all the norm and ate up post after post before, only back then, it was Chrysalis.

Every single time an antagonist is introduced and they're not instant-badguymwahahahahawe'reevilandweloveit, it's perceived as against AJ simply because the level of effort that has to go into making a morally ambiguous character that isn't pure good or evil tends to end up with developing them and showing their side, and of course that comes with screentime.

Furthermore, your argument against the anticipation of a Chitania/Faust battle completely falls flat as it's based solely on the merit of 'she's the personification of the show's maker', as if the implication somehow reduces the impact she made simply by being in the fight, even though she's clearly not actually the real life person. It puts all the focus on the superficial, her name, and ignores what those excited actually want to see, the fight.

While a few may find the 'animu' of the fights not to their liking, there's no denying they're popular, both in readership and to the writers. They're big, they're fun, and they're so over the top the imagination goes wild just trying to picture it all. Your notion that a godlike being engaging in a fight is a slight against the one personified misses the point entirely, and that it has not even been hinted at or written yet what may become of it further makes it a knee jerk reaction like so many others that worry about what could be, instead of what is, and ultimately fails to prevent the event from occurring.

1/2

>>27463719

This thread was never meant to 'revolve around AJ', it's the story of what happened when AJ became a princess. We cling to the past events of the show not to hold ourselves back, but to get a sense of what all changed, and where it changed. What all is different, and how it got there. We'd never throw off the shackles of the base story for the simple fact we still love the characters/show, but we do not have to be tethered to them. The OC's happened because the scope of what this change meant went well beyond what the show had shown and could handle, that's all. We wanted to tell bigger stories, and we did.

The final point, that 'not everyone can write', makes your point even weaker. This is a thread of writefags, and most of them write simple one shot sillies. Even during arcs, they make up the vast majority, so to imply that any normal schmoe couldn't have AJ do stuff in a one shot silly if they so desired yet wishes certain developments to happen is both lazy, and absurd.

The better and more workaholic writers write about what they find fun. To some, it's Chitania engaging in a battle with a mechanical moth, because they love Kaiju movies. To imply they are 'wrong' for writing this instead of more scenes for Aj both insulting to the effort put into the buildup to make it plausible, and laughable to imply they needed permission or direction. Certainly, if they wanted to, they could do that, couldn't they?

This is a song and dance we've heard before, only this time it's not Chrysalis you're complaining about. Still, maybe it'll work this time.

>>27463701
A few said we needed to just send all the changelings off somewhere and focus on something else for Aj to do back in thread 20 too.

There's a reason stuff like that goes unheeded.

>>27463701
Or maybe realizes she's alive, she has her daughter, she has like five ponies who don't want to kill, she's been pardoned again and again, she's a fucking popular comic book/toy character, and maybe decides to, I dunno, live an actual fucking life instead of pursue something that could potentially fuck up all life on the planet if she pulled it off?

Because let me tell you now, knocking out the lady who brings souls across from the land of the living to the dead would probably be a very very bad idea.

>>27463719
>bit more screentime or development than her previously

There's a bit of screentime and spectacle more, and then there's her being the biggest fucking cheese in all of the story arcs we've had since she showed up

>>27463771
What about Apple Crazy? She was barely even a side character there.

Didn't participate in 12 Rescue.

Nearly died in Variolus.

Just hit some guards in OnO

Vanished during Beach Arc.

Etc...

She hasn't done anything impressive in scale between Cordy(thread 54) and her most recent thing with Sunset(thread... 132? I think?) She's mostly been relegated to funny or making Aj make hard choices, like the Library thing.

>>27463701
>It is almost like I said this last arc.

And it's still dumb, as that wouldn't have helped AJ at all and made Rarity implicated in murder.

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>>27463726
>normal schmoe
I'm a normal Schmoe~!

>>27463719
If anything, sticking to it having to be about AJ hurts a lot of stories. You can see a stark difference if you read early thread, where she barely did anything, and now. Characters like Shining, Chrysalis and Twilight did stuff totally in every way from her, and she didn't even get a comment on it, and their characters were parts of much bigger stories and developed a lot more. Twi-Crazy didn't even have a single scene with her sans the ending, yet it's by far her biggest moment sans Cordyceps. Which, I maintain, worked best because it all connected, yet was not dependent on AJ. 32/77's fight didn't need her there to referee, Chrysalis's breakdown didn't need AJ's county style wisdom, and so on. By trying to make everything about AJ, we scaled back developing everyone else, to the point where the only other notable one who moved forwards is Dash, and that only happened when we finally pried AJ out of the Wonderbolt story and let her work out Fleetfoot on her own.

AJ is the main character, that's true. But the world isn't riding on her back.

>>27463726
The fights are exhausting to go through, they always go through the same motions and tropes. They try to distill your average joe cartoon fight into words and it just comes out as a long slog/slug fest

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>>27463847
And it would have sent us down this AU and we all know that this would have been the end of the fun times at large since there would be REVENGE 13 hovering over our heads with "Evil Shimmer" as her teacher. There would be no probable way of AJ fixing this later, even if she was able to get Sunset away, besides ending the line of Titans once and for all and that would have taint her for everyone.

>>27463922
Then skip the fight and just read the dialogue, don't be a fucking idiot, If something is mentioned in the dialogue that you doesn't make sense then you glance back. It's not that fucking hard.

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>I don't like Chitania hogging all the oxygen
>Dude why do you want to kill her

>>27463922
>The fights are exhausting to go through,

This is a personal opinion, one which does not seem to be particularly widely shared, but I'll admit that doesn't discount or reduce how you feel on it, and I'll just say the writers probably don't find it as such, despite being the ones literally exhausting themselves making it.

>they always go through the same motions and tropes.
You keep saying this, but not a one fight has been consistent in location, or how it's played out, the only tropes that might be consistent are victory moving back and forth as the battle progresses, which isn't a trope, it's just basic storytelling.

>They try to distill your average joe cartoon fight into words and it just comes out as a long slog/slug fest

I understand your opinion, but I don't share it in the least.

>>27463932
>Still love that next pic shows she got better
>And then Chitty in story decides to go "FUCK YOU I'M NOT DYING HERE"

>>27463970
Er, you mean

>I don't like Chitania hogging all the oxygen
>"Well I wanted to kill her!"
>Everyone says to guy 2 it was stupid
>Nobody said that to guy 1, because he didn't say we should kill her.

See the thread there?

>>27464027
The reason no one wants to say anything to guy number one is that it would just keep encouraging him to bitch and whine. The other guy is just being informed that it would have been a poor choice given how much we got out of her afterwords. Now as one of the number 2 guys in this thread, I only say it in regards to whatever guy number 1 said to say I don't want her dead anymore.

OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"Go for it."

>Are ya'll a teacher? At the school, Ah' mean, are ya' a teacher there?

"No, when would I have time for that?"

>Well, ya' could-

"Not a word about my cakes."

>Ah'm just tryin' ta' point out that maybe we'd have more than one or two really powerful unicorns iffin' ya' actually shared that millennia of knowledge.

"Everything I know is in the books. I was very studious to record it."

>Huh... so is that how Trixie could do age spells when she had the Alicorn amulet?

"The what now?"

>The alicorn amulet. The thing that gave Trixie the power of an Alicorn, but also made her crazy.

"...WHAT!?"

>Did ya'll not hear about that?

"NO!"

>Huh, must'a slipped Twi's mind when she was gettin' ready for the Saddle Arabians. She was worried you were gonna arrive before she sorted it out.

"How was that the important thing in that scenario!?"

>Just sayin'.

"Well, where is it!?"

>Zecora has it.

"You gave an amulet of dark magic to your zebra friend instead of me!?"

>How good ya' been protecting literally any magical item so far?

"...Touche."

>Sorry that Zecora's gotta better track record than you.

"I need cake. I don't even care the flavor, give me cake."

>>27464027
>>"Well I wanted to kill her!"
Who said that?

It wasn't me?

I just want to find someway to defuse her smashy smashy attitude and NOT piss off all her fans

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Pinkie predictions
>88 seeks professional help.
>41 and SP realize headbutting others doesn't feel the same.
>Sweetie Doll tries to make friends of her own.
>Fluttershy makes a painful choice.
>I decide the best way for peace is to start a rock band.
>Trixie finds a foe worthy of her skills.
>Luna skips out on her bill.
>last second fanservice

>>27464093
>Who said that?
Are... are you serious?

>>27463701
>So what you're saying is we need to kill her, because it will help AJ's character. It is almost like I said this last arc.

>>27464093
Schmoe here, I've said it, I wanted her dead. But that was only at the beginning cause she was the monster that needed to be defeated and she hurt Two, A CRIME!!! at the time for me. Now though, I wouldn't want her dead for anything... accept maybe to make Ascended 13... Taller and Slender, but not sickly. Dressed in traditional Titan Armor, I'm making that a tradition cause her mother's getting some too, and it would look amaaaaazing. But yeah, wanted her dead and now I'm one of her most staunch supporters.

>>27464141
>>So what you're saying is we need to kill her, because it will help AJ's character. It is almost like I said this last arc.

>Some guy is implying something from one of my posts, who is very wrong
>That was your sentiment, duh

Come off it

>>27464186
>>Some guy is implying something from one of my posts, who is very wrong
>>That was your sentiment, duh

....WHAT

>I don't like Chitania hogging all the oxygen
>"Well I wanted to kill her!"
>Everyone says to guy 2 it was stupid
>Nobody said that to guy 1, because he didn't say we should kill her.

You are guy 1.
He is guy 2.
Nobody accused you of saying we should kill her, nor did they imply you meant that in any post responding to you. See for yourself, every reply is to the guy who said he wanted to kill her last arc, none are saying you said that or implied you meant that.

Sorry FnB guy, I have to do this

NC
>Fuzzy
"Buzz"
~~~
>aaand COMING AT YOU LIVE, IT'S FUZZY AND THE BUZZ!


~Fuzzy and the Buzz in the Morning, 97.1!~
~OH GOD IT NEVER ENDS~

"Top story TO-DAY... Anons in the thread are arguing?"

>Just like you and your dates!

"OOOOOH"

~I swear, it's not my fault!~

"Yep, looks like Chitania's most recent rampage has caused quite a stir among the writers!"

>A few of them are even suggesting we should have killed her off!

"So what you're saying is the Anons are just like your exes?"

~That one cuts deep, literally!~

>Jokes aside, we'll keep you posted for how this whole thing turns out, tune in five minutes from now to see who wins!

"For now, it's back to music with Lana Del Hey's Summertime Madness"

~I swear I'm losing my mind!~

>>27464314
Even when they go NC, they're still hilarious.

>>27464366
agreed I chuckled big time.

LAST THREAD RECAP, BEGINNING AGAIN EDITION!
>13 muses how lucky she is to have both a queen and a mom.
>Aj finally comes clean about the whole affair, and Canterlot reacts like you'd expect.
>"BULLSHIT!"
>Accusations are thrown, denials are said, but AJ sticks to her guns, and to their distaste she declares that due to the circumstances, she's pardoning Chitania and Sunset of their crimes.
>Nobody likes it, and AJ knows they'll probably just think it's a trap, but she has to keep fighting for the truth.
>After this, 32 is shot at the Embassy by a seemingly enraged pony fighting back. The shooter is tackled by the guard, and JJ/Actarius get him medical attention.
>After being led the the dungeon and getting a threat from 77, his neighbor in the cells, Snake Eyes, sees through his charade, and sees this is all a distraction of some kind.
>A distraction that involves the now smashed favored pizza joint of the guards, somehow..
>Cloudchaser gives up on her anti-dragon thing after a talk with derpy, and many an adventure with animals follow.
>2 brings up the question of if there is an Applejack/Changeling One. Forty Two, interested, looks into it.
>Turns out there is. The name, at least. Applejack one is trademarked by Chrysalis.
>Who leased the trademark out... to a toilet factory. They make up most of the castles toilets.
>Aj, Chrysalis, Celestia and Shining banter after the speech.
>Chitania wonders what happened to Mister Popcorn.
>Spike and DT meet again, it ends with Spike getting missiled in the face.
>Chitania's hallucinations get weird.
>SA makes some comments about how he wishes there was a magic turnip that could just make everyone believe the truth. Chrysalis tries not to say anything.
>10's printer is mad that he keeps having to start over every time thanks to new events happening.
>Spitfire is going crazy with Mane-Iac.
1/4

>>27464461
>Gambling realizes that Quicksilver hasn't arrived yet, and worries he might be dead. He vows if he's alive, he's getting his money out of the stallion just in case.
>Aj is least popular on the princess list according to the recent polls, everyone else wonders where they land on that
>Cadence and 18 think it's probably not a good idea if Shiny were in charge of the army right now.
>Honeyhart tells Jetset about how she feels and why she's not bothered when guys like the previous one bother her, because she's not a princess, and she's used to the easy way. She lies to Jetset and tells him she didn't mean to summon him but he sees through her, and gives her his shades before he leaves. She learns they're magical, and can do quite a lot of really interesting things.
>When she tries hiking to Canterlot, she has to stop and rest in Everfree, where she sees a glimpse of how he got them.
>Lavan repairs the embassy as a favor to 32, but accidentally turns the whole thing crazy.
>32 joins him, and after a failed attempt to smash it and try again they find out the rooms are mixed up every which way.
>AJ is not affected anymore by Chrysalis's creepy talk.
>Chitania starts to think she really might die in the cave, and the realization sinks in she might not get out of it.
>Instead of giving in to the hallucinations and thoughts of despair, she declares "Fuck this, I'm not dying like some loser", and gets up and starts dragging herself to the entrance, even though she's fading fast.
>Sunset, thankfully, arrives before she actually does croak, and fixes her with the love she got from 29. Somewhat repaired, they work out a plan of attack.
>First step... get their shit back.
>OOCO morlock thing continues.
>SA arries home and goes to take 2 back. Instead, he finds Spitfire, Mane-Iac, and no Two. So he leaves her there.
>Chrysalis is mad because her embassy will be costly to fix, and no lings will want to work in Canterlot now, and not at all because of 32 getting shot.
2/4

>>27464472
>Chrysalis then goes back to the Empire and gives the news that 42 can stop guarding 13, but she needs to go guard 32. 13 also gets informed that her mom is off the hook, but reasonably doesn't believe it. While she at first feels betrayed when Chrysalis insists, but after Chrysalis tells her not to go near Canterlot in her voice, she figures that Chrysalis has a plan, and she doesn't worry anymore. Chrysalis sends her off, and 42 resents having to guard 32.
>Spike and Jetset talk, and when Jet says he's going to Celestia to unlock something, Spike insists he comes to. When Jetset denies him, Spike tasers him and drags him off.
>MM finds 29 on the ground, drained. She's telling Trixie.
>The changelings learn of 32's shooting, and some imply they should get guns. Turns out one has a gun, we just never saw it because he used it responsibly.
>The Doctor has to triple check 42 knows not to punch him, 32 made that clear by writing a note. On the Doctors coat.
>In blood.
>2 convinces Shining to let her go to Canterlot to give 32 a gift. Many an inconvenience follows.
>18 is worried, but a sweet moment with Shining puts her at ease.
>Chitania calls Sunset's plan of infiltrating Canterlot stupid, but gives in anyway.
>Chrysalis and AJ find the embassy mysteriously not destroyed, and investigate.
>They find from Celestia it was wrecked, and muse that they should have probably asked someone there how it happened. Instead, they steal Celly's cakes.
>Winona engages in her most hated foe, Opal.
>Aj finds out that one of the changelings has been taking care of Sunset's magically irradiated plant, and wonders if Farmerling would like to study abroad.
3/4FOUR!FORANONARC!

>>27464490
>42 thinks guarding 32 is humiliating, and gets a fun response from someone who used to guard Blueblood.
>She's bored, but soon gets cheered up when Cadence comes to visit her.
>29 finds out 32 got shot, and starts screaming.
>Sunset, while infiltrating Canterlot, stumbles across the newspaper detailing the pardon, and laughs it off.
>Pd and Gwen also see the pardon, and are a little upset.
>Fuzzy and the Buzz chime in.
>AJ and Chrysalis investigate the Embassy, and find it was Lavan.
>Chitania learns of the pardon as well, and actually is tempted just to give up and go give in just so she can go back to seeing her daughter, but her senses telling her it's a trap just won't let her.
>That won't keep her down, however. She resolves she's going to get it all back... on her terms.

Woo hoo! Early this time!

Last thread was a little stuffed, so if I missed something, do whatcha do.

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I'd love to write for AJ. I have plenty of ideas what to do with her, how to involve and evolve het. And about 10 stories worth of text sit unfinished on my Google drive. Wanna know why?

Her fucking accent.

I am bilingual. English's not my native language. But still, I write in English because there's a bigger audience. Every time I write AJ, I had to write her dialogue in 'normal', then tan it through a redneck translator. Yes, that's what I literally did. Because her accent is more than just some 'Ah' and 'Iffin's.

If she'd just goddamn drop her stupid accent like she did in the Orange family, I'd be one happy writer for her, holy fuck.

>>27464503
Hi Recap Anon. You are a writers best pal.

>>27464515
>drop her stupid accent like she did in the Orange family

That...That opens ideas I hadn't thought of before.

>>27464558
Mostly heartbreaking ones, since that would mean she's literally becoming the thing she rejected when she got her cutie mark.

Probably good for another family-cheer-up scene, though.

>>27464558
Pllllease do it. Please. Pretty please. I beg of you.

Unless you are thinking of her character traits of being able to fit in with high society. Thats cool with me too.

But still. Accent. Can it be gone already? It makes her sound like a goddamn hick.

>>27464595
>It makes her sound like a goddamn hick.

She is, but she's still the most sensible, reliable and level headed hick on the face of Equestria.

We can't get rid of her accent, it's literally a part of who she is. If you want, just write her without it, we'll probably add it in our head.

>>27464515
>>27464558
Simple Wway may not have happened but Apple Jewel can still be a thing. Make her high society persona (IE be as close to Rarity as possible) something of a crutch to get through her political dealings.
>>27464595
It can't, not forever. her twang is apart of her normal speaking tone. speaking normal is what takes effort for her.
>>27464629
also this we read her lines in her voice anyway, so we'll hear it even if you don't write it.

>>27464595
Well when I was a Narutard, Faust forgive me, and I was writing fanfiction for Naruto I would often see people have issues with Hinata's near constant stuttering. People would over do it to such an extreme that it would put people off.

A decent solution for that was that they just not do it and let the reader imagine how little or how much they wanted. It be written normally but left for the reader to fill in the stuttering themselves. If you wanted you could just write your stories normally, It would be a sure fire way to know its one of yours but it would make things easier on you and would increase story output. We would then just imagine it the way she speaks normally for us.

I think that's a fair trade, right guys?

>>27464629
>>27464644
>>27464671
I know all of our writers value their anonymity, since it disables specific calling out or criticism of a single writer.

But, eh, what's one more calling card...

>>27464671
You could have just said Fluttershy, she has the same issue. Not here, but she does.

>>27464722
S-s-s-she d-d-d-d-oesn't h-h-h-have it-t t-t-t-this b-bad t-t-though.

See what I mean. With her its just "Umm...ok..." and "...uttersh..." That's not as bad as the above.

>>27464769
That is so fucking painful to look at.

>>27464794
It gets my point across though, he could just write it in plain English and leave it up to us to imagine how redneck she sounds. From a lovely country gal to fucking unintelligible Boomhauer.

>>27464821
>Boomhauer.
I need a one-shot or a few shots of Applejack biting her tongue and ending up speaking like that

>Doctor
"42"
'???'
~~~

>...Huh.

"Kill me."

>I don't believe in mercy euthanasia.

"You have betrayed your Hippocratic oath."

>I don't believe in that either.

"What do you believe in?"

>Bits, baby!

"..."

>But seriously this is a medical Faustdamned marvel and we should really be studying this.

"It's not complicated, and we are. Literally every changeling does it."

>Still! Think of the medical possibilities!

"Of a technique literally anyone can use being used instead of doctors?"

>...On second thought, let's keep this between us.

"What do I get out of it?"

>I'll up the morphine dosage, a lot.

"..."

'Hey, hey Forty Two. Forty Twoooooo...'

"..."

'I told you I would get some loving from you.'

"...You have a deal."

>Annnd, morphine for days!

'I love how you think I've lost in this scenario!'

>>27464868
That was great.

>>27464868
>AJ
"Doctor"
'32'
(42)
~~~

>Hey, Thirty Two, Ah' came ta' check up on ya' and see how ya'll are holdin' up-

"GAH!"

>GAHHHH MAH CHEEK!... DID YA'LL JUST STAB ME!?

"I'm very easily startled!"

>What was in that needle!?

'THAT WAS MINE!'

(I suppose I should have stopped that, but I'm just more sad he didn't stab me.)

>Ya'll need ta' starttalkin'boutdisdangoldneedlemanAh'needa'knowwhatwasinitmanyoheydisdangoldthingbein'allinmah'cheekwhat'sgoin'oninmahdangoldbloodman-

"...Interesting reaction."

'YOU TOOK MY GOOD STUFF!'

(I... I can perceive a punch literally flying at me at high speeds, and I have no idea what the fuck she is saying.)

>Dangoldneedlemanlikeain'tcomplicatedyo'gotdisdangoldneedleinmeandAh'wannaknowwhatit'sgonnadoareya'complicatedAh'ain'tcomplicatedjustwannaknowwhat'sinmedatyoudangolddid-

"I'm... starting to think this is expired."

'...Give me some.'

>DANGOLDSTOPIGNORIN'MEDANGIT

>>27464868
>Morphine 32

Yay

>32
"42"

>Hey...hey, hey 42...hey 42...42 hey...

"What!?"

>That's still a nice hat.

"...thanks?"

>Yoooou're welcome!

"How are you infinitely more pleasant on drugs!?"

>>27464868
BROKEN ASS CHANGELINGS

>>27465104
NC
>32
~~

>Well I'd like to be, but 29 won't take me up on it.

>>27465171
Silly ling, he only has eyes for mares who are waaaayyyyy better than him.

>>27465171
NC
>32
"Sunset"
~~~

"..."

>Stop.

"..."

>Stoooop it.

"..."

>Stop grinning.

"..."

>Don't you dare say it.

"I got some of that sweet, sweet Changeling nectar lovin' you never haaaaad~"

>MOTHERFU-

BLAM!

THUMP

>...Spike?

'Don't mention it.'

>>27464125
>>last second fanservice
Ha, I can't wait to see how this one squeaks in.

>>27465273
>Spike killing her in NC becomes a running gag

MAKE IT HAPPEN

>>27465426
As long as it simultaneous sates the thread's 'Spike needs to be a badass' and 'Sunset must die' thirst.

So...if 32 is pressured into finding someone...does this mean Speed-Dating gags?

>>27465498
>32 meets Fuzzy and the Buzz on a speed date
MAKE
IT
HAPPEN

>>27465498
Are you saying you want to write speed dating gag?

Don't ask, write speed dating gags.

DO IT.

>>27464671
Hmmm, apparently I might be the only one who enjoys writing AJ's faux-accent, and I have no intention of stopping now. I understand some can't freely write like that, and that's cool, they can write her speaking normally. Me, on the other hand, enjoy it too much to stop.

In my eyes, dropping it would have the same affect as dropping Zecora's rhyming scheme because Faust fucking help me I've wanted to suggest that shit for the past 130+ threads. Because that's arguable one of the main reasons none but a rare few write for her, due to that damn rhyming. I'd love to write for her but that right there keeps me from doing so, but I'm also not going to suggest she stop rhyming either, because that's essentially her character.

So, TL;DR, still gonna write best apple princess with her 'accent'.

You know I used to love these back before

"AJ"
'AJ42'
<AAAJJJ>
>><<AAA$£½6>>><<<
¬¬&&;:IaIaChthulhufhtagn;:&&¬¬

made it all more trouble than it was worth

>>27465498
NC
>32
"???"
'Spike'
~~~

>Phew, thanks for waiting for me! I am new to this whole blind dating thing and... you cant be serious.

"Heeeey, you handsome Changeling you~"

>Sunset, I can tell it's you. You are wearing a wig. One of the Applejack wigs my brethren used to have.

"Oh, dont be silly. I am just a cute filly in need of some tasty, thick-"

'Brass.'

"Wha-"

BLAM!

THUMP

>GODDAMN SUNSET! And why do you keep doing that?!

'Just doing my job.'

Spike walks off, twirling his gun and whistling a tune.

>What?! What job?! Spike? SPIKE! ...there's blood in my soup.

>>27465536
You're right, Triple AJ didn't need to win the world title.

>>27465527
Nobody is saying you have to stop, and obviously most aren't going to(I couldn't, I'm too used to writing her with it to drop it now), but the option is there in case you just can't write her accent.

Agreed on Zecora, though. Sorry, but no rhyming, it's not Zecora. I'm sure that makes it hard to write, but if you can't write her doing it, it's probably not going to be 'zecora' Zecora. That's just a part of her whole personality. Zecora is rhyme or bust, unless the story is all about how weird it is she isn't rhyming, like the PL gag.

>>27465536
>¬
I would have never even thought to use that. I probably will now, though.

>>27465556
Fuck you and your funny ass, made me ugly snort.

>>27465527
>Hmmm, apparently I might be the only one who enjoys writing AJ's faux-accent,

I like it too, and I'm still going to keep writing her with her accent, but I'm not going to say you absolutely have to keep it if you just can't write it. Personality is more important, an OOC Aj with an accent is worse than a IC one without.

Fuck no on Zeccy dropping her rhying, though. Seriously, fuck no. That's Zecora.

That IS Zecora.

NC
>Celestia
"???"
'Spike'
~~~

"Princess, I've got a question for you."

>Yes? Well, I have...! Uhm... Sunset, is that you?

"Mmmh hmmm~"

>While I am elated that you chose to return of your own volition, the fact that you are wearing a schoolfilly outfit and giving me bedroom eyes is making me question my sanity.

"Oh, teacher, don't be like that. I've been a baaaad filly and I need of some punishment."

Sunset turns around and wiggled her skirt clad rump.

>...Nope.

BLAM!

THUMP

"...huh. I honestly expected..."

'For me to turn up and end you?'

BLAM!

THUMP

'No one expects the Equestrian Inquisiton.'

*twirl*

*holster*

*leaves*

-Tia, ah've gotta-WHAT THE HAY HAPPENED HERE?!-

>>27465626
>I would have never even thought to use that. I probably will now, though.

it honestly would have helped, it's a crying shame too I was genuinely enjoying everything up until I had to reload the page on mobile and find where I left off only to have to start deciphering who was who for the nth time in a row

>>27465661
I am just having a giggle riot over here....

>>27465556
I'm surprised we don't have more wrestling stories considering how many love it.

>>27465689
>start deciphering who was who for the nth time in a row
God, I hate that shit.... sometimes it gets so bad I have to copy/paste the character symbols to another page just so I can glance at it when I forget who's supposed to be speaking.

>>27465735
Yeah. Thats why I never read stories containing the whole friggen Crystal Harem. It's just a pain to slog through with 8 different types of symbols.

>>27465536
Sadly the alternative is adding "Said Celly/AJ/Chrysalis" or some such number to every single story would be more of a hassle for the writers. There's just no way to indicate who's who without eating up a lot of 4chan's short ass character limit and possibly adding another third or more of just repeating names.

Like, just imagine >>27465549 without the top line and everyone is just "Speaking", how would you know who's who?

It's why we got rid of just > for everyone in the first place. It works for two characters, but more than that and you're straight up fucked.

>>27465693
We've done some stuff, and not just the aborted house show side story. It just doesn't have a dedicated character or writer deal like anime, Kaiju, and DnD references.

Seriously hard to do when grappling went out of style with the main characters about 2 years ago, so you have to use someone like Punch and 41 who are low level enough to be fans AND use the moves on the regular. You're not going to see Chrysalis put someone in a headlock.

>>27465751
The only time I had an issue with that was the game show deal between the Pie's and Sparkle's.

>>27465774
Yeah, I mean, I get it and understand and still use it and realize it's probably the best way to handle it but wow does it get hectic when you get into the '$' and '#'s

>>27465804
Probably why outside of the Harem Trio(Table Manners, OnO, and Movie Night), you don't really see it.

>SA
"2"
'???'
~~~~

>...Did we come at a bad time?

"Shiny, there ain't no bad time for marchmalleys."

>I feel like this might be an exception.

"...Ah' will go get the soap."

>Just trust me on this one.

'VERILY! THINE BRIGNERS OF THE SWEETNESS INTO MY ABODE! Such the taste of ambrosia itself would pale, a mockery to that laid out before me. Hark, to the herald of the fair fluffy things, for thou brings to me a wonder eyes of those beyond weep that they do not lay upon. Hark, to thee, Applejack the second, I give to thee, my thanks.'

>...

"...Huh. I didn't know Thirty Two could talk like Twenty Nine! Why's his words all slurred though?"

>This answers so many questions I had about that changeling.

'HARK!... TIS A BIRD NOISE I MAKE!'

"...Should there be that little of the brown stuff in the bag? Even not-mom's took longer than that to get that low when she got hurt."

>I think we should leave the basket at the door.

'HARK... HARWKKKK!'

>>27466011
>29 is eternally on drugs

I believe it.

>>27465693
I am literally working on it right now with Suckerpunch and 41.

I abandoned the cliche 'Get in on the action' storyline and am going to do some jokes in a different vein.

>>27465549
This is doubly funny because 32 thinks he DID sleep with her at some point, she actually just knocked him out and laughed at the idea of actually sleeping with him.

>>27463354
>Celestia ran out of budget when ascending AJ, this is the result.
>Rarity looks fine, but you don't want to know how she got the funds for that.

>88
"Lavan"
'Construction pone'

>Is she still there?

Whoosh!

Crash!

Fwoosh!

"The molotov cocktail means yes."

>I figured.

'YA BASTARDS BETTER GIMME REAL MONEY!'

-Oh please don't talk about me when I'm gooooone~!-

'SHADDUP!'

>We need to make nice with her ASAP!

"Yes, 32, wherever he is, would not be pleased with this waste of liquor."

>Amen to that...hmm...

"Hmm?"

>HEY LADY!

'WHAT!?'

>Fixin' this house made it so hard it broke your wrecking ball, right?

'Yeah?!'

>What'cha think'll happen if he fixed the wrecking ball too?

'...'

>Whaddya think? Invincible wrecking ball makes the whole thing square?

'...if he fucks it up again, you pay double!'

>Deal! Lavan please have your magic do what it's supposed to for once.

"...I will try."

>Don't try, do, focus all ya got...because I've gone a while without being topped off on love and I don't think a hoof fight with this crazy lady's gonna do wonders for this pretty face.

"...very well!"

>>27466697
>Guards ignoring someone throwing Molotov cocktails at the embassy

For fucks sake guys, get it together.

>>27466715
That's gotta be one butch fucking Construction Worker

>>27466697
>she
I was right!

>>27466715
They carried all that one guy, give themselves a pat on the back, and then they figure they're all done

>>27466715
Molotov cocktails being thrown AT the crime scene.

Maybe they think she's trying to make it look like how it was supposed to?

>>27467344
>Isn't that tampering with evidence? I mean, there's no way to replicate it exactly as it was.

"Do you want to fight the buff and pissed off asshole throwing fireballs?"

>... let's see where this goes

>>27467375
To be fair, it hasn't worked with them all the other times they tried it.

Gnight, thread.

>88
"Lavan"
'Construction Worker'

>BAM!

"I have succeeded, this pleases me."

'Well I guess it LOOKS fixed.'

>Thank you, now leave us alone.

'Not so fast, I got a building downtown I gotta knock down that you two jackasses made me late for. So we're gonna take a little trip and test your patch job on it.'

"And if it does not work?"

'My boys and I're gonna kick yer ass.'

"...I am an elder god from before the dawn of creation."

>I'm a changeling commando.

'And we're in a union.'

"...why does this terrify me?"

'Come on!'

Five minutes later...

'Alright, the site clear boys?'

-Yeah, Beam!-

'Alright, say yer prayers, douchebags!'

>Are the chains really necessary?

"And bats for baseball purposes?"

'Yep! Here we go!'

Ka-swing!

Bwoop!

>...

"..."

'...uhhh...'

"Success!"

>Where'd the building go!? I said no side effects!

"But this works as intended."

>Really?

"Yes, why would you want all this wreckage around? My way is far easier."

'So where'd it all go?'

"THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN!"

>Won't that like raise the sea levels after a while?

"...you assume I mean YOUR oceans, hahahaha!"

'...'

"When I do something right, I do it very right."

'Ok, you're free to go.'

"Hurray, may I keep the singing coins?"

'Yes, please!'

"Hurray! Come my golden children! Follow me and sing your songs of glory!"

~Well I'm sittin' on tooooop of the wooooorld~! I'm rollin' aloooong, rollin' along~!~

>...weirdest fucking hour of my life.

>>27464993
YES. THANK YOU!

>>27466011
And drug 32 makes his grand reappearance, why didn't we want him to be drugling again? I'm finding him way more entertaining like this.

>Tis medicinal, I sweareth upon mine soul!

>>27467886
>32 starts hitting the ganj
>Needs a dealer
>Zecora hooks him up with Treehugger
>Free Love (In multiple meanings of rhe term)

finally, good morning bumps

>>27468232
Really had me worried there.

>>27468232
Late night maintenance, I take it?

>Chrysalis
"AJ"
'???'
~~~

"So, ya' gonna visit Thirty Two?"

>Nah, he's weird on morphine.

"This is comin' from you?"

>I'm serious.

"It can't be that bad."

>...

Opens door

'Figaro fi, figaro ha! Figaro figaro figaro figarrooooo-'

SLAM!

>..

"...He looks like he always does ta' me, don't know what'cher on about.:

>Changeling
"??"
'??'
~??~
~~~

The fires of battle were raging, and the chants of war calling.

All around him, smoke rolled up in waves past the craggy, sharp edges of the blackened stone he stood upon, the red light of lava visible in a hellish glow all along the corners of his narrow pathway. Ash and rock crunched beneath his hooves as he advanced, head held low and horn bared. His sight, touch, smell were assaulted from all sides, battling him with the elements alone. When he heard the rumble of stone, sound joined that war.

His foe at last emerged, waves of black and brown dust rolling off his thick hide as the beast rose up to answer the unspoken call of challenge. Scales strong and shining in the dim light flexed with every beat of its leathery wings, chest heaving and no doubt rolling with a yet to be released flame. A tan colored dragon, proud as he was powerful, ascended into the sky before coming back down with a booming landing, claws cracking the ground beneath him as they easily sank into the surface.

The changeling, though on edge to the one staring him down, spared a single moment to look past the monster, to the real reason he now stood on this plain and faced a creature most would flee in fear of. Beyond those brilliant scales and oddly slicked back fin atop it's head was his real target.

A griffon, tied up, bound and gagged, and struggling with fear apparent in her beautiful and obviously feminine eyes. His second spared, her life confirmed, he turned his attention back to the dragon as it reared up on it's hind legs, arms spreading out wide in challenge. The changeling felt his body go low, and magic form on his horn, and he waited.

Fires erupted on all sides when those strong, yet thin looking arms swung forward and a single sharp and groomed talon pointed to him, lava flowing as if called when snarling words of one of the deadliest creatures to ever walk the earth reverberated for all the world to hear.

"...Line?"

1/3

>>27469539

>Oh love damn it.

The groans and sounds of annoyance would reverberate through the ages.

'Seriously!? Are you fucking serious right now!?'

The previously bound griffon easily shook off her restraints, hopping up without an issue and furiously tossing the ropes to the ground. The dragon, already looking sheepish, became positively peckish at the sound calling to him.

'Of all the freaking... really!? Now!? After the lava flow!? Aggggghhh!'

The griffon let out a gargle of annoyance, stomping past the dragon and right off the edge of the stony volcano.

And right down onto the solid floor of the soundstage, just out of sight, before stomping over to a chair adorned with feathers.

~Cuuuut!~

The dragon all but winced when a huffing blue pony sporting some garish pink sunglass started screaming directly at him through her megaphone.

"It's not my fault I can't read your stupid language!"

~Ugggh!... RESET!~

The changeling and dragon both found themselves ushered off stage as set designers got to work, cleaning up stray globules of 'lava', clearing hoofsteps, doing all they could to bring the placement back to where it had been before this had all began. It was going to take a while.

'If you can't read it, what exactly were you planning to do for the scene!?'

The dragon shrugged, taking a seat next to her.

"Improvise?"

'Greeeeat improv skills there, loved it when you screamed 'line' in the middle of a tense standoff.'

"Hey!"

The changeling worked his way into his own seat, every bit as nice as the pairs, and summoned a bottle of water to sip on.

'It's not even a hard line! Just 'what are you doing in my abode, little bug? See? I don't even have any lines in this scene, and I know it!'

"Well it's easy to say now, now that the cameras aren't rolling!"

'Newsflash, I wouldn't have a problem even if they were!'

"I haven't ever even done anything like this before!"

2/3

>>27469543

'Breaking news, neither have I! You, changeling, you ever done anything like this before?'

He pushed any resentment at being called 'changeling' aside, and shrugged.

>Nope.

'See? But did you see him in the tavern scene, fucking professional!'

"That's not fair, they're natural born actors! Their whole lives are all about acting!"

'Excuses excuses!'

>Speaking of, why'd we shoot the tavern scene before, doesn't that come way later?

'You don't shoot in order, buggo! You shoot depending on the locations!... Right?'

Photo Finish took a single second out of her yelling and directing, just long enough to give a nod, and then got back to work.

'See?'

"You had to ask her!"

'No shit I did! You think anyone around Griffonstone has even seen a camera before?'

"Do you think I know what a camera is now?"

'That has nothing to do with saying your lines!'

The dragon huffed, running a claw through his slicked back fin.

~ACTORS! PLEASE! Save ze conflict for ze stage!~

The changeling took another sip, leaned back, and smiled.

He had no idea what was happening, but he was loving every second of it.

"So what line comes after me telling him off?"

'AGGGGHHHHH!'

>...This is fun.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZAn9rVXIGg

>>27469547
Holy shit, this actually got a follow up?

Neat.

>>27469547
>A changeling going into acting

I don't know why nobody else ever did this.

>>27469680
12 tried the one time, he just got turned down.

>SA
"42"
~~~

>You holding up alright?

"Suffocate me with your damn shield right now or find a gun that can pierce my chitin and free me from this hellish nightmare, for whatever sins I have committted in my life cannot ever compare to the horrors you are subjecting me to. This is cruelty, this is evil, and that you continue to let it happen shows there is a darkness inside of all of us and it is foul, and disgusting. Grant me freedom, or give me death, I will not accept anything else."

>...So, going okay?

"Meh, some weird stuff happened, but same old same old."

>You need a break?

"I'm fine, it's cool."

>You sure? You seem tense.

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

>...You're right, I'm being silly.

"I should say!"

>Pinkie
"Twilight"
~~~

>You wanted to see me, Twilight?

"What did you see?"

>Well, one time I walked in on my parents on mom's birthday... I'm pretty sure that's going to be my last memory before I die, and I will die screaming.

"You know what I mean!"

>And you know what I mean, let's not play that game.

"What did you see in my lab!?"

>Oh... OHHHH! Ohhhh... oh...

"..."

>Well, I didn't see you dance in socks singing embarrassing tunes, I didn't see you do a whole lot of really morally questionable stuff with your experiments, and I didn't almost see you cause a zombie apocalypse! In fact, we barely saw anything, me and Applejack. Did I mention she was there too? She was there too, you really should be talking to her as much as me.

"..."

>I saw nothing, and you have no proof otherwise!

"...You uploaded an movie to my computer saying 'Pinkie and AJ reacts'."

>Those are going to be huuuuuge in the future, trust me on this one.

"..."

>Wait... shit.

"..."

>PINKIE PIE TO THE FACE!

SPL-
TWANG!

>...Broken ass unicorn magic!

"We need to have a talk."

>>27470004
>Pinkie doing a react video

I knew she was shit.

>>27470083
>She dragged AJ into it

That monster!

>>27469547
Wait, wasn't this the porno?

...Can we see where this ends up?

>DT
"???"
~~~~

>Boom boom boom boom, I'm little filly boom~ I'll blow up you all together, firing missile out forever boom boom boom boom~ I wanna big old-... what the hay!?

No matter how many times she hit it, the massive double doors just wouldn't open.

>What's going on in there!?

"Hello?"

Next to the doors, a simple speaker crackled to life, pops and squeaks emerging from it.

"Can I help you?"

>Yeah, you can help me! What are you doing in the magic room!?

"It's called the subspace reality-"

>I know what it is shut up! What are you doing in there!?

"I have it scheduled for today."

>Well, unschedule it! I have stuff to do!

"Wait your turn."

>Who is this!?

"Star Shield."

>...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?

"I serve in Eleventh Division, we mostly handle the west side of Canterlot-"

>I DON'T CARE! I want to train in the magic room!

"Well, wait your turn!"

>I will use TBDRLIATU!

"Won't that blow up the room?"

>If I can't have it, nobody can! One!... TWOOO!

"..."

>...You're fucking lucky Twilight would ban me, so hurry up! HMPH!

Angrily, the filly sat down, waiting and ready to chew out whoever was inside.

Inside, the stallion just shrugged, and got back to what he was doing.

"Okay, can I see the South Fillynoma beach? I'm feeling lucky."

The room, previously a gorgeous mountain peak, shimmed and shifted, before it settled on a serene, warm sandy shore instead.

"...I'm liking it!"

His vacation was going to be amazing.

>>27470456
>Someone actually using the magic room for dumb shit

Yes.

>>27470548
It's weirdly nice to see someone just using it for silly purposes. Not to say the didn't do it before, had a whole arc about the ONO after all, but still,

>Pinkie
“Fluttershy”
~~~~

>Eh? Ehhhh?

“…before I say anything, I want to hear your reasoning.”

>It’s simple, silly billy! Everybody knows that rockbands are the most tightly knit, friendly group in the history of anything!

“That’s um… inaccurate?”

>So, clearly, we just tell Chitania and Sunset they’ve won an exclusive offer to sing in the band, and then they will just have to show up! Nobody could pass that up!

“They… might? Probably, actually.”

>And then when they do, we just tell them they were so utterly spectacularly amazingly fantastic at it that we want them to be in the band full time!

“We skipped over the part that isn’t working, can we um… go back to that?”

>And then they won’t want to do crazy evil stuff anymore! They’ll be like “I gotta go do something mean sounding”, but then they’ll be all “wow! I can’t do that! I’ve got a concert we have to prepare for, everyone is counting on me!” and then they’ll just drop it and move on to the next hit concert!

“So in this scenario, they’re… successful??

>And then we just keep going and going and make sure they party afterwards, so that they can’t be like “I’ll just do my evil stuff later!” because then they’ll be “Oh wait, crap! Pinkie invited me to the party, I can’t miss that!” And then they’ll miss their evil stuff instead!

“Oh okay, so now you’re also in the band or are following them?”

>And then they’ll eventually decide “We don’t need evil stuff, we’ve got music!” and the day is saved!

“…”

>Ehhhh?

“I really, really don’t want to upset you, and I know you worked hard on this, but I have to. Pinkie… do either of them know how to play an instrument?”

>…SHOOT! You’re right! Alright, scrap the whole thing, thanks for being honest with me. You’re a big help, Flutters!

“… I’m helpful… yay.”

>>27470798
Awwwww.

You keep being helpful, FS. You are a helper.

>>27470798
Although non canon to us, Sunset know how to play a guitar. Chitty's backstory had her use classical instrument training to teach herself restraint, she isn't spectacular, but she can play fairly well. And being MLP they both should be able to sing.

I didn't read a single thing here... thats all

>Blueblood
"Haymaker"
'PJ'
-32-

>Regrets.

"Hey you said we should visit."

>No I didn't, she did, and you backed her up.

"I refuse to remember it that way."

>I feel like we should stop this, for 42's sake.

"I think she's beyond help at this point, and they're having fun."

'-Potato potato potato po~
Tato potato potato pota~
To potato potato potato potato~!-'

>>27471228
Infinity loop!

>>27471305
Fun fact, that's just part of an actual song. It's to the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance

>>27471314
/pa/! International and bug facts learned!

OOCO
>SA
“Chrysalis”
‘Cadence’
~~~

>Hey, guys? Powerponies rebooted again.

“That time of the year already?”

>Yep, and guess who’s not married anymore!

‘OH COME ON! If “Queen Overture” is going to steal an identity, can she at least steal the one part I really enjoy!?’

>Awwww.

“It gets better, it turns out Queen Overture has been a fraud this whole time! She works for the badguy organization.”

‘…WHAT!? But… but that makes no sense! How does that work!? All the past characterizations, the thousands of stories where she clearly stopped said badguys alone, and when just no doing anything would have made them win! There were THREE alternate futures where the badguys won, and it they were still fighting them!’

>Now she works for them.

‘WHAT A LOAD!’

>If it makes you feel any better, Empress Cocoon got killed off again.

‘That doesn’t make me feel any better!’

“I’m going to take that as an awww worthy thing.”

‘What is going on with comics!?’

>A whole lot of crazy people, that’s what.

“That and the movies.”

‘I just want to read about ponies in tights punching each other!’

>>27471524
>Captain america
>WORKS FOR FUCKING HYDRA AND ALWAYS HAS
NO
THIS
IS BULLSHIT
PURE
UNDILUTED BULLSHIT
>inner /co/ unleashed

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>>27471738
I completely agree. See, when they made Thor a Chick, I was upset but I could have gotten over it. Its progressive, fine It'll take some time, but I could deal with just a bit more time. Now that this has happened I no longer feel that way at all. Now I see this as Marvel making many MANY bad choices just to make money. All my rage and hate.

>>27471524
"Celestia"

"I told you, Shining"

>Told me what

"Capeshit is for retards"

>....Fine

>>27471738
I don't even read comics and know that's shit!

CHRIS EVANS EVEN THINKS THIS IDEA IS SHIT!

>>27465774
Normally you'd append an initial in front of a line in a script

AJ:Howdy!

>>27471966
That's fine for names that can be abbreviated, but what happens if Chitty and Chrysalis are in a story? How do you abbreviate Celly down to two letter? Or Zecora? What about a Cantie? And that's not even getting into with this, you still need a line of dialog to explain one SS is Silvee Spoon and the other is Sunset Shimmer.

4chans word limit is fucking stupid.

>>27472115
It's still more obvious than using random symbols. Cry,Cha,Can,Sil,Shim etc.

>>27472250
We've been doing it this way for so long though that I'm very set in my ways here, I don't think I'd be willing to try a new format myself, even if the others changed I would probably still use this one.

>>27472324
Same. As confusing as it gets at times I've grown fond of writing this way. Much better than solid walls of green that you can't decipher easily.

>>27472115
Ce, Ze
Lu, Twi, PP,FS,RD,Rt,Cad, SA

>>27471472
>International

Oh no. It's sung by a woman so white...well, so white she's singing a goddamned song about how great potatoes are.

>>27472395
So... Irish? That's international I think.

>>27472402
Midwest, think Idaho

>>27472417
Ah.

>AJ
“Chrysalis”
~~~

>…So are we gonna question any of this?

“The Lavan thing, the fact 88 is following him, why someone was throwing flaming bottles at the embassy, or the new magic wrecking ball?”

>Yes.

“No, no we are not questioning that. You can, we are not. There is no we here, we are not a team on this.”

>It’s yer’ dang bugpony helpin’ her.

“I’m pretty sure she secretly hates me for leaving her to die that one time.”

>Fair enough, Ah’ guess?

“Right? One time, and she never gets over it. Spike never gets mad at you for sending him to almost die on an airship while you sat at Canterlot and did jack all.”

>Never gonna let that go, are ya’?

“What can I say, we lings cling to things when we almost die.”

>Ya’ll were fine, big baby.

“True, but that’s entirely because of Shiny kisses…. Mmm, chocolate and happy.”

>What does that even taste like?

“Ask Shiny to kiss you, that’ll clear it up.”

>Pass, don’t think poor Cadence could take another shark in that pool.

“I resent being called a shark.”

>Callin’ ya’ a bottom feeder sounded mean, at least ya’ got the fin and fangs for the shark thing.

“…Fair enough.”

>Since we’re ignorin’ this, should we keep running?

“Hm? Why?”

~YOU WILL BUUUURRRNNN!~

“Ah, right. Celestia.”

>That, right.

“Silly Applejack, we don’t need to run…”

FWOOSH!

“When we can teleport.”

>…Ah’ gotta learn me this someday.

~BURRRRNNN!~

“Keep away commence!”

>>27472483
And thus the Cake war started prematurely with the abduction and later consumption of the only slice that mattered.

>>27472324
I figured as much, I thought about saying something around thread 10 or so but never imagined these would go on for much longer

>>27472545
It really has been a while hasn't it, I still can't believe we've been doing this for over 2 years, can't wait for the next one.

>>27472545
this is around the 7th time we talked about it. And each time ends the same with people mostly sticking to either our format with a few going straight prose.

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>>27471069
https://youtu.be/ce5zaDhvhm4

Sunset and Chitania singing 'Evil Ways'. Goddamn, yes. All of my yes.

Also, bonding over music and underappreciated talents...

>>27472787
I can see it.

also love that it is wrestling theme

>>27472483
I'm surprised they aren't questioning the singing and dancing bits

>Cloudchaser
“Derpy”
‘???’
~~~~

>Alright, this plan is sure to work!

“Didn’t you say that about all the other-“

>You’re remembering your failed plans wrong, I always knew yours would mess up.

“You… sure?”

>Yes! Now, stand back, and witness me!

“Before you go, can I ask you something?”

>Sure, and I’ll try not to think less of you when you admit you can’t understand my brilliance!

“Why the white suit?”

>…Every time I think I can make it, you just pull me back into despair.

“Sorry?”

>Don’t apologize, WITNESS! TO BATTTLLLLEEEEEeeeeeee…

“…”

KRAK-THOOM!

‘OH DEAR FAUST, THE STORMCLOUD IS OUT OF CONTROL! IT’S GOING TO KILL US ALL! RUNNNNN!’

“…”

>…eeeEEEEE! BOOM BABY! Hah! Look at that! Giant thing spitting lightning and bringing terror! You tell me that destroying that won’t make me the best weather captain ever! You tell me! I dare you!

“…how are you going to destroy it?”

>…

“…”

>…

“…”

>…YOU DID IT AGAIN, YOU FOOL!

‘I am not good at planning…”

>>27471069
>Chitty wants to be classical
>Sunset wants to rock out
>They never get along but play awesomely together

I see it.

>2
“Cadence”
~~~~

>Hey, Sweetie! Did he like the gift?

“He started chewin’ on the bag before sayin’ the steak was too rough, and when Ah’ asked him what a steak was he said it was made o’ fulfilled dreams, so he wasn’t entirely sure what it was supposed ta’ look like, then Shiny tried to make me leave when he said he wanted ta’ go call up booties, and when Ah’ said Arana makes nice booties so maybe he should ask her he just screamed somethin’ about bein’ legal and nobody needs an adult, then he started hittin’ his medicine bag and said he wanted to know whose blood this was, and that he was gonna find and eat whatever fairy it was. Then he looked down and said “I’ve been shot!” And he just sits there for like five minutes before he starts goin’ “YAYYYYY!” and lookin’ around, then he got really sad for a bit and Shiny said he needed a nap.”

>…Sounds like he loooooved it!

>>27473722
High as fuck 32 is way more interesting than regular 32.

>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~~

>How exactly are we going to explain this to the captain?

"That... is a really good question."

They kept staring, eyes never moving away from the building in front of them, locked on and holding steady as they had been for hours upon hours before this. Unlike those previous, their eyes were red, veiny and dry. They struggled to keep their lids parted, not daring to blink again.

They had done that once, and paid the price.

Everything, all of it, was gone.

In the blink of an eye that they found had lasted over an hour, everything had been stripped clean from the building they had been tasked to guard, and they had not seen a thing. All either could remember is a sharp pain in their head, their eyes closing, and when they opened again the sun had moved quite the distance across the sky, and with it, every item in the last known location seen of Chitania the Titan had gone with it. Every thing of interest, including those no doubt they had not yet found in their search, had gone away before they had ever known it was there.

They had never stood a chance.

>So, someone came in, and either prevented us from seeing everything... or made us forget.

"Which would be worse?"

Neither had an answer, and neither wanted to question it enough to find one.

>I... think we might be in trouble.

"Fucking changelings."

>>27474211
>Sunset's learning mind shit now

FUCK

>>27474389
Huh, I just realized

>Little by little, she's getting all the changeling magic she never got from Chitty

>>27474712
... she plays a long game.

>>27475063
Soon...

Titan Sunset

>>27475151
Oh hey, without chitin, Pj's trick would actually work there!

Everything is coming up spudling!

Gnight, thread

>>27475674
Same to you, buddy.

>Snake Eyes
"Assassin"

>So asshole.

"My name isn't asshole!"

>But you won't give me your name, and you are fat asshole, therefore, asshole. I have a question, asshole.

"Ugggh!"

>Who're you with?

"None of your business."

>I mean everything about you screeeeams 'Low rent goon', not even thug, you don't even rank as a thug! You're barely a henchman. So I'm just wracking my brain trying to figure out what organization would have you operate in fucking CANTERLOT.

"...you're a jerk."

>And you're an amateur, in my line of work, that's worse. Now let's see...not the Mustangian Independence Front, they got wiped about by the midget dragon with the big iron. You are NOT Fawntaine, I can tell you that from the general slovenly appearance-

"Why're you saying Fawntaine's into crime?"

>BITCH GOT A MECHA MOTH, SOMEONE THAT RICH IS DAMN SURE UP TO SOMETHING NEFARIOUS!

"...I mean...you're not wrong but still..."

>Now where was I? Chineighse Triads stick to San Franciscolt and Manehattan. Dragon Gangs are too territorial, being mostly-y'know-adolescents. Appleloosa's outlaw problem's on the downswing and those goobers operating outside of the West just looks tacky.

"..."

>That leaves...Saddle Arabian Death Squads?

"Yeah! Sure! That!"

>...those aren't a thing, moron.

"Well...if ya can't think of what I could be, I must be what I say I am! So there!"

>Or I smelled the marinara that secretes from your damn Neightalian pores the second you came in here and am just that desperate for entertainment.

"...YOU'RE A JERK!"

>A smug jerk, my friend, a smug jerk.

Morning thread

>>27475195
Oh that would be the most fucking awesome thing right there. Spuds would have a field day.

Does Cadence know about the whole heart munch thing? Cause I just thought of a gag where Two's instincts sorta kick in and their is a bunch of benign chest nuzzling that has Chrysalis laughing at her expense.

>>27477301
Yes, she does.

>>27476779
Same to you.

>>27476436
...Equestria has a lot of fucking crime.

>>27478060
And AJ seems to not give a shit... apparently there are enough badapples in her bunch for her to look the other way from time to time.

The Orange Crime Family, Peach Syndicate, Banana Bandits... yeah, seems like quite the accomplishment for them to have an inside mare at the top of the Equestrian Government.

>>27478084
>Heavy_breathing.png

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>>27478060
Yeah but Applejack will get to it eventu-
>>27478084
... The Applefamily is the legitimate branch of the Fruit Crime Families? Yeah I could get behind that for lulz. Flashbacks to younger days and family events, questionable things and events going on with Applejack being completely oblivious to it.

>That's just how mah family is, been doing this thing with cement horseshoes for years, haven't a single clue why though. Maybe ah should ask Rarity iffin it's a fashion thing.

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>>27478084
>The Orange Crime Family

>Lightning Dust
"Soarin"
'Fleetfoot'
~~~

>What do you think, does the commander uniform look too professional? Should I just go with the regular Wonderbolt attire?

"Have you considered a plastic bag?"

>No, you're right, regular Wonderbolt, for now. Keep the relateability with the rank and file newbie members.

'Who joined up a couple months after you.'

>I'll wear the captain attire later, give them a sense who they're serving under.

"A crazy pony."

>This... oh yes, this is going to work out just fine.

'While we apologize for bombing and tornodoblasting a civilian.'

>Soon... I'll be on top.

"Of the trash heap."

>...I'll be on top.

'She's not even listening, is she?'

"Nope."

'...You're fat.'

"I HEARD THAT!"

>>27478084
>>27478168
Is it weird that I want to have this be our next thing, for the community if they are interested, to shit to this once we retire /pa/ in 10 years or so?

>>27478191
>10 years or so?
Remember when it was laughable to think we'd make it another year after the first one? I'm not sure if I should laugh yet or not considering how strong we're still going. I mean we might make it that long but we might still make it half way there at least.

>>27478218
I mean we might not* make it that long

>>27478218
I remember early on thinking it wouldn't last another week, then that turned into another month, then few months then another year. I've given up expecting it to die, I am sure in my faith that the Thread Ghost will keep us here, we belong to them now.

>>27478171
What? I thought that there was something shady about them besides bing high class and well off.

>AJ
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>So do ya'll have a backup plan?

"Oh, silly little Applejack. I have plans upon plans upon plans. There is never a moment when a foe of mine still breaths that the machinations of my design do not spin. There is never a moment awake or in rest that my mind is not already formulating a countermeasure to any pitiful attempt my foes have to out play me in the game I was born to rule. I have backup plans, but to try to weave you the tapestry of my creations would stretch out too far for even this grandiose castle to hold. I have backup plans. Oh, I have plans..."

>Ah' meant iffin' ya' died or somethin'. Ya' got a backup plan for how the changelings are gonna rule themselves? Do they just fall under Forty Two's umbrella? Shining taking them in? What's the deal with that.

"Oh! That! Nah."

>...Nah.

"Nahhh."

>Ya' don't have a plan for that.

"Why would I? I'm never going to die. I'm immortal!"

>You almost died twice.

"And the fact I continue to live proves that any measures plotting out my nonexistance in this world are useless at best, detrimental at worst as it is taking up precious time that I could otherwise be using to be awesome."

>So ya' ain't got no plan in case ya' die. Could just choke on a cake tomorrow, no plan.

"Silly Applejack, I just need some Shiny loving and I'll be able to survive even if I can't breath!"

>What if he's not around?

"Then someone goes and gets him, not complicated."

>But what if...

"..."

>Ya' know what? Nevermind, Ah'm sure you got this.

"Damn straight I do! I'm the last Queen, and that's how it's going to stay!"

>Ah' believe that.

>>27478405
Last Queen with a Hive, that we are actively aware off. Chitty is still kicking and Titty is still frothing at the mouth in space and lets not forget that Varry is being rather difficult at being put down entirely. Yeah, last one with a hive that we know off.

>>27478448
Chitania is a Queen in name only at this point. She doesn't actually rule anyone, nor does she have any 'subjects' who would classify her as a Queen to them, as even 13 still considers Chrysalis her Queen. She's only a Queen Changeling in classification of Ascended Changeling, she's not a Queen in the royal sense.

That one Bugbear Queen is NC.

And Varry, even if she did come back yet again, would have the same issue as Chitty. Her hive is dead as shit, she has nobody who would consider her a Queen.

As far as actual ruling Queen Changelings go, Chrysalis is indeed the last.

>>27478487
>That one Bugbear Queen is NC.
I thought we got rid of the aspect and not her entirely, I personally like the whole corpse golem thing.

>>27478504
You mean Titania? She's not Bugbear Queen, nor was she in space...

>>27478504
Bugbear Queen is Unkillable by Anything Queen that got shot into space but is still alive.

Corpse Golem is Titania, Chitania's rival who used to battle her for fun, and is 41's mother. She was killed by an as yet unrevealed Queen, only confirmed it wasn't Chitania who did it.

>>27478504
Man I need to lay off the green when reading I could have sworn that's what was up with that. I mean believe me there are times when it makes things so much better but if I'm getting everything fuzzed to pieces I might need to lay off and re read for awhile.

>88
"Lavan"
'Bits'

>Y'know what's weird?

"What is it? Did I do it?"

>No no it's just...where's 32 and his two stooges?

"I do not know."

>The prick better not have went to some fancy schmancy dinner after all this went down, all I'm saying.

"My hope is that the giant bug did not squash them."

'You gotta aaaaccetuate the positive~ Eliiiminate the negative~'

"Yes, you are right my tiny golden children, such thinking is not helpful."

>Hmm...I'm gonna check out the castle, maybe he's running damage control considering our Queen's just hanging out eating cake with Princess Applejim or whatever her name is.

"She is? How do you know this?"

>She was standing like ten feet away from us the whole damn time we were dealing with that construction worker. Not so much as a 'Hey 88, how are the new eyes?' I mean seriously, she hasn't said two words to me about it.

"Perhaps she is afraid of me?"

>Well shouldn't be, you're a good guy and if we can forgive Chitaniasshole every time she stubs her hoof and goes all Neighponese monster movie on every, we can forgive the guy who's actually sorry he was a jerk.

"Multiple attempts at extinction are hard to forgive..."

>Aw fuck 'em, you do you buddy, you did your time. And if anyone comes after you, I'll punch them right in the eye.

"Poetic, this pleases me."

>Good, friendship should please you. Now let's go see if we can track down my assbag of a brother.

"Very well! Come my children!"

'The ants go marching two by two, hurrah! Hurrah!'

>>27478533
kek, come back from space, you'll stop seeing spaceling queens and see more applehorse.

>Luna
"Aloe"
'Lotus'
~~~~

>Ahhhh, we feel so refreshed! This day of the Spa is exactly what these tired ruling bones needed after so long in toil!

"Do you actually do something? I have never seen you do anything."

>We feel as if a new mare! Ready again to go back to our work!

'The work you don't do.'

>We thank thee, our humble servants, for assisting us this day! You have done a great service to your country!

"Momma would be so proud."

>But, alas, tis time for this all to end. We must spirit away, for we have much left to do!

'That's fine... so, your total for a whole day of literally every single service we offer is fifty thousand, eight hundred, seventy two bits. There was some change, but we rounded down.'

>Oh, we suppose we can spare that much. Here you are.

"...this is a piece of paper."

>Indeed! Tis a treasury bond, that should let you withdraw what you need.

'Equestria hasn't used these in over three hundred years, they're not valid.'

"They're actually a crime to have, since they were all supposed to be destroyed."

>...............Oh.

"..."

'...'

>...BLAME MY SISTER!

BOOM!

"...Do... do we go to the guards?"

'The fuck are they gonna do, arrest her!? Celestia would send us to the moon for slandering her!'

"So essentially, we have no way of collecting this money."

'Nope.'

"SON OF A BIIIIIII

>>27478582
Lack of options rears its head again.

AJ really needs to fix that.

>>27478724
>Implying AJ doesn't reap the benefits of that herself.

Promoting her friends doesn't come free.

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I want to be royalty in Equestris. I'd get to fuck over everyone, do whatever I want with minimal rpervussions and no one would dare call me put because they know I could just duck then over for life.

Equestria is the true Utopia. For the 1%.

>>27478191
I could get behind that. Sounds funny, we'd have to be careful to keep it light so we don't fall into the typical grim dark but yeah, totally onboard.

>>27478785
Quite the dream there, anon.

>>27478084
Please no. We already make ponies look pretty bad.

>>27478865
Who don't we make look bad?

>>27478896
Um....Pinkie pie.

>>27478549
>Chrysalis being awkward and avoiding 88

Cuuute.

>>27478930
Pretty sure we had Pinkie doing some shady shit for Partyland, not during the arc but before it.

>Actarius
"JJ"
'???'
~~~~~

>Oh, crap! I'm not getting paid until this is all back to normal! How am I gonna live!?

"You could sleep with me."

'Oh come on!'

>I don't want to wear you out.

"Bahhhh, you know I love it!"

'Really!?'

>But what about the other ling?

"They can see it if they want, I don't care."

'For fucks sakes!'

>But what will your queen think?

"I'm pretty sure she knows what we get up to by this point."

'Fuck you!'

>Still, I guess its better than the streets.

"At least you know what you're in for with me!"

'This is exploitative!'

>Dude, this takes a weight off my back.

"Go ahead and put it on mine!"

'That one doesn't even make sense-'

>Hey!

'...'

"We are talking, you just stick to guarding, mister guard."

>Rude!

'...'

~WELCOME TO THE CLUB!~

>>27479193
>'That one doesn't even make sense-'
Lost it there.

>>27479193
They know!

>>27479520
What's scarier, that they know... Or that only one of them knows?

>>27479571
Or if both of them know but they think the other one DOESN'T know!?

>>27479626
Or what if they both know and they're both PRETENDING that the other one doesn't know!?!?!?

>>27479765
This isn't an anon discussion.

This is 32 arguing with himself in his head about those two.

>>27479776
kek.

>29
"32"
~???~
~~~

SLAM!

>BROTHER! WHAT HORRIED FATE HAS BEFALLEN YOU!? Oh woe! To look upon you in in such a state!

"Tw... Twenty Nine? Is... is that you?"

>It tis, brother! It tis in deed! Speak to me, tell me of who hath done such a thing to thee! Speak his name to mine ears... so I may bring my vengeance.

"Brother... there is something I need from you..."

>Speak of it, mine kin! Speak and there shall be no more said of the subject! To mine ears, speak!

"I need... I neeed..."

>Say it!

"I need you to give me love!"

>Oh, dear... I'm a touch short, this time I'm afraid-

"Flip me over and give me love."

>...

"Right in the-"

>Think I got the gist of it.

"...Sooo... yes?"

>OF ALL THE TIMES! OF ALL THE TIMES! YOU'VE BEEN SHOT! THERE IS A HOLE IN YOU, AND NOT ONE OF THE ONES YOU'RE THINKING OF RIGHT NOW! AND YOU'RE STILL DOING THIS!?

"Ha ha... oh, brother, just seeing you squawk is exactly what I needed right now."

>OF AL- wait, thou just wanted to see me act a fool? Oh, brother.

"...Well, I mean, if you said yes, I would probably-"

>Thou has been shot. That would hurt... a lot.

"WORTH IT!"

>...

"I'm not being totally truthful, that actually would hurt a lot. I would probably black out from pain."

>Well, at least thou has a little sense-

"But I wasn't shot in the jaw, you know. Or the throat."

>...

"Just putting it out there."

>...How much morphine are thou on?

"NOT ENOUGH."

>>27480160
Gonna guess the ~???~ Was either the last line or a deleted line.

>>27478785
Man, we're lucky most of the royals aren't assholes.

Intentionally, I mean.

>Dash
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>...

"Now, Dashie, don't put too much stock into a newspaper poll, you know the sample sizes for these are kinda skewed!"

>...

"And they're faked all the time! It's so easy to write whatever you want. How would anyone know? The poll is anonymous!"

>...

"And of course it's just coming off the heel of someone looking good, obviously this isn't representative of the whole population! This is just a silly little side thing for tabloid junkies, that's all!"

>...

"...Dashie?"

>...Get my wing weights, I need to train.

"Er, Dashie? Lightning Dust didn't win the poll because she was fast-"

>GET MY WEIGHTS.

>>27480818
And thus, Dash gets the idea for a little... enhancement.

>>27480970
You're not helping, fleetfoot

>42
"32"
~~~

>...I wonder if I should get magical armor of some kind.

"Yes, with a certain 'attachment' in the lower area."

>It might help level the playing field, currently I'm too thoroughly outmatched to stand against most of the bigger threats.

"Give it a vibration setting, and something between "Tickle" and "Earthquake"."

>And a bit of durability would certainly help, in cases where I have to face off with love.

"And it could take over if you get too tired, I'm sure those ponies know how to last!"

>Not only that, but it would also give a bit of authority to it.

"Oh yeah "Call me commander, baby!" I see it."

>...But I do like my helmet, and it might be hard to fit that there.

"Just layer it, a little extra protection never hurt anyone!"

>Am I willing to give up my helmet, something that commands more respect and has more meaning behind it, just for a bit of stronger metal?

"And it's so much easier to expose your head!"

>Hmmm... I'm not sure. Perhaps I can speak with Twilight about it, just to see my options.

"I can see it now. "Twilight, I want to DESTROY your brother, what would you recommend?" I will put down money right now she has an assortment she has just been begging to use, I've seen how she looks at him."

>If nothing else, it will be fun to see if they can handle me, or if I'll break them while they try to keep up.

"I don't even need to help with that one."

>Are you about done?

"Honey, you don't know how many rounds I have in me."

>Nobody does, and we'll likely never know.

"...I'm going to let you have that one, that was nice. I won't even comment that at least I could without fainting."

>I do not faint!

"Shining Armor as a mole under his cutie mark, Cadence says she saw it."

>I'm going to let you have that one.

"Do you want to share the morphine?"

>No, no... I've got my own way to smile.

"...Fuck you win."

>>27481364
Y'know I hope the guy who wants him to have someone is ready to write around half the other people who write for him making him sound like a sex offender.

>>27481490
Maybe he should get someone just as bad?

>>27481643
As in inuendo or is that another Worst Ling dig?

>>27481655
Innuendo... or he could end up with a complete prude who is sporadically l-lewd.

>>27481675
Well Upper Crust isn't really doing much with Jet Set off being an agent

>18
"Changelings'
~~~

>Nope.

"What!? You can't-"

>Nope. Denied.

"This is an outrage, we demand this be brought to the Queen!"

>Go ahead and bring it to her, I'll just be sitting here, laughing. I will laugh so hard, you don't even know.

"But this is serious!"

"As serious as we've ever been, and that's really serious!"

"SUPER serious!"

"SERIOUSLY!"

>And I'm seriously going to throw you out of my office if you don't leave willingly. The choice is yours.

"We have rights!"

>Not these kinds.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT WE PAY OUR TAXES!"

>No you don't.

"We pay them in servitude."

>Then we pay you for services, not the other way around.

"Don't complicate issues with your double speak!"

>Do I have to start breaking arms or are you going to leave on your own?

"THIS IS-"

>GUYS!

"..."

>I am NOT giving you bits to buy guns.

"...but we neeed them-"

>NO.

"You suck."

>>27481976
Meanwhile, ResponsibleLing just shakes his head at everyone acting like they're toys, and cleans his barrel for the third time that week before locking it back up securely, and scheduling a time tomorrow on the shooting range.

>>27482118
Meanwhile BrutalLing is banging his head against the bars of his cells while singing the Doom theme

>>27482118
God, that should not be so funny and cozy at the same time.

>>27481675
Plot twist: He ends up with Construction Bitch.

>Sister, say hello to my new flame!

"...huh, thought she was a lesbi-"

THWACK!

>Canterlot Cooks
“Derpy”
‘???’
~~~

It was a battle lost from the get-go, sheltering some hope that their typical mailmare would deliver their wares, especially the ones marked ‘carry with caution’, with the necessary caution. But no, more often than not, their delicate foodstuffs and kitchen appliances arrived as a mushed, mashed, or minced versions of their former glorious selves.

The small gathering of cooks stared somberly, eyes narrowed and jaws clenched, even the mares, as that gray pegasus came stumbling into view. Although, how you could stumble while flying was anyones guess.

“Heeeeeeeey you allllllll!”

>Heeeeeeey, Derrrrrrpyyyyy….

Their response was strained, forced through pursed lips like a zombie’s growl.

“Gotta package incoming!”

>We see.

>We see and we cry, Derpy… we see, and we cry….

>Why do I suddenly feel ill…?

>Because we’ve been woefully out of date with Equestria’s finest, ever-evolving culinary wares thanks to our admittedly adorable mailmare who keeps breaking our shit?

>Ah yes, that… that would explain it, y-

>LOOK OUT!

FWOOSH!

The ducking and diving turned out to be a wasted effort when Derpy swooped by over their heads, setting a bundle of packages down gingerly on the countertop.

1/2

>>27482475

>…No way.

>Did she just…?

>I don’t believe it. Nothing’s broke? Nothing?

>SOMEBODY WAKE ME UP! CAN’T WAKE UP! WAKE ME UP IN-

>You’re up, you’re up, this is real, holy shit!

“Special delivery from Princess Applejack herself! Um, shoot… hold on, got the note right here… somewhere…”

One of the cooks plucked the envelope from behind Derpy’s ear:

‘A little thank you gift for putting up with the mad food urges of three highly unstable princesses and a host of rowdy Changelings. Paid for by the Cake Foundation of Equestria (no that ain’t a real thing, just our normal stash of cake bits). Anyway, long incoming, put them to good use. Maybe by baking us a cake? Hawh, just kidding! Kinda… Anyway, enjoy! Your princess, Applejack.’

As Derpy flew off, the cooks slowly began grabbing and unboxing each parcel, gasping in awe at the flood of golden light that burst forth.

>This....

>These are…

>I… I can smell the innovation….

>W-why is my vision so blurry? Is it… is it raining…?

>Everything we’ve ever tried to buy…

>…

>…

>THANK YOU PRINCESS APPLEJACK!

>>27482490
>It turns out, Applejack just promised Derpy she'd make them stop calling her "That Googly Eyed Mare" whenever her back was turned.
>None of those breaks were by accident.

>>27482526
I'd be down for this just to have Aj pull rank about being a dick.

>>27481017
Not helping...or super helping?

>>27483182
>Fleetfoot
"???"
~~~~~

>So, it turns out, drugs only solve veeerryyyy specific problems.

"WHO LET YOU IN MY HOSPITAL ROOM!?"

>I'm getting to my point, chill out!

>>27482131
>BrutalLing is Doomguy

YES

MAKE IT HAPPEn

>>27483487
He's too mouthy to be Doomguy.

>>27483728
So he's Serious Sam?

>>27483803
>Purple feather in cap

WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?

>Take anons advice to heart and work on the Daw/DT story
>Almost done
>Fucking iPhone Safari glitches out and the text box just disappears

Burn in hell, Steve Jobs...

"???"
--------

"H-help...? Gauge...? E-everything hurts."

>>27484973
He lives!

>>27485281
I really like Quicksilver, I'll probably write something for him being down there.

There are likely better writefags to do it, the last thing I wrote was ages ago in the first few threads, and I'm not too creative.

>>27484576
Are you going to be able to fix it today?

Why are Steve Jobs and Liam Neeson out to get us!?

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>>27485561
I don't know, it's so unfair.

>>27485577
Pffffhtbwahahaha. Yes. Thats how imagine we will all end up eventually

It is an Applejack episode today my friends