write whats on your mind
I should go to sleep. Why am I wasting my time here?
Traveling during my winter break and getting away from everyone hasn't solved my problems.
My life goal is to be high-skilled in the practice of cunnilingus.
I desperately, desperately, want to kneel before a tall, dominant woman.
>tfw no woman to sit on my face
god i miss her and nothing makes me more upset to know she doesnt love me
Why does that painting look like it is staring at me?
>>7512031
Like this?
I want to know more.
>>7512173
Get the fuck off 4chan, then
>>7512178
You first.
I've been having a really nice time with my gf lately. But I hope I can get over myself and get back to writing.
>>7512179
>implying I can
I want to seclude myself to a very small portion of my room. I have a tapestry that I can hang as a small wall. I have the dog bed I sleep on, I can put that in the corner. The wall sconces will provide me light since the bulb in my room burned out long ago. I'll put my book shelf up right next to me so as though it's a wall of wonders. I won't read anything from it, I'll use my tablet because I can highlight words and learn them right then and there. I'll put the shitty gardening table here as well. Just shove myself as far into the wall as possible, and I'll just write, and read, and forget about anything else until it comes to me. I don't want to eat. I want to stop eating. Somewhere along the line a choice was made and now I'm living my own parallel life. So why not own it, why not be the parallel me? Not the one who got out there and spread his wings, the one who fucking chewed them off and slept in the dirt. Why not? Let's be human, human sounds like fun. Let's be fucking weird.
>>7512287
>>7512294
Tl;dr
All I want is to just hang out with her. I'm not sure if I even miss her romantically anymore but I miss hearing her laugh, I miss making her laugh. Sometimes when I'd pull up at the front of her house, she'd walk down the driveway beaming as I stepped out of my car. She said she wanted me forever. I don't understand why she could so suddenly dismiss that. How long had she been having doubts? I don't know what to do with my days anymore. I go to the gym to prompt some natural endorphin release and apart from the daily does of suboxone, it's the only thing that provides a respite from the loneliness and the despair and the heartache. It's like this dull pain, that's sits behind my chest and in my stomach where occasionally it peaks and I can cry and after I cry I feel better. But only for a little while.
>>7512309
There's no closure, just a point where it ends.
Someday that goes away, and it will feel dumb that it ever happened. You wish you could just have your memory wiped so you didn't have to watch them shrivel and die like an old pathetic pet.
>>7512325
John Green, is that you?
>>7512332
Shhh, don't tell anyone I shit post on /lit/
>>7512325
I'd just like it to stop. I feel so helpless. All I'd like to do is go and be with her, laugh and listen to music and talk shit. The fact that I can't do that is making me miserable. It's been two months and I can't fucking move on. I've moved on far easier with breakups in the past but I can't seem to shake this one. Time doesn't seem to be doing its thing at present.
I'm trying to read this Grahame Greene book I got for Christmas but I can't stop crying now and I can't focus on fucking anything. Also I double dosed my takewaway dosage of suboxone yesterday which means I have nothing for today. So no opioid relief.
>>7512378
Yeah, well that's not going to go away anytime soon. If you can, get a cheap hook up on Tinder or something. Find someone else to get under.
Also yell and smash some stuff if you can. Go out in the woods and beat some shit with sticks.
Fall into the bosom of time and lash out like a child. And don't talk to her.
Everything I'm telling you is utter bullshit by the way. I've been going through this since my Fiance left me a year and a bit ago. I try to talk to her every now and then and she just doesn't want to.
One day you just wake up okay though. There's only so much your body and mind can give a shit before it just doesn't anymore. You live your life and wait until that moment.
>>7512424
Fuck off, we're crying together you faggot.
In a whisper...barely to be heard...nothing. It resounds, carrying the weight of the absolute. Nothing. There is...nothing.
Fucking normalfaggots, I swear to fucking god one thought can't come out of their thick heads that isn't whining about cunts and their problems. I can already read out the /v/ tier responses to this fucking post, even animals are more unpredictable
Its like a punishment version of deju vu clicking on this thread. I wanna be x I wanna be y, some shit post about women. I imagine even some times at the klan rallies they don't talk about niggers but here its even more reliable
They could wake up tomorrow with all the money, all the desires, all the bitches and they just make new problems because their whole life is about wanting never existing. You think I wouldn't write angry shitposts to pimple popper yuppies if I didn't like that shit?
Animals, simply animals. No self reflection, no humility
>>7511992
Waste of time desu. Learn how to suck dick and you'll go places
Between the branches the dead moon poured in. There's always something about the daytime that seems loud- The heat of the sun shimmering off the pavement, the low roar of a distant lawnmower. At night it was still and silent. We were all children in this cold womb waiting for day to come and to take our first screaming furies at the world
>Just went outside to take a piss in the snow and thought about this.
>>7512469
Spooky. Almost poetic.
>>7512285
Reading this almost makes me want to do it. There's something amazing about the way the light get's blocked but instead transfers to the color of the blanket when you're beneath covers. I also think this just sparked a desire in me to build a fort.
>>7512415
>If you can, get a cheap hook up on Tinder or something. Find someone else to get under.
I've fucked 3 different women since she left. Not by any real desire to but under the assumption that she'd be doing the same thing. Also I wanted desperately to feel something other than this white hot sadness. It hasn't helped.
I'm going to save up to travel and do some freelance journalism for a bit. Throw myself into my passions, cultivate some substance for myself.
I've done this too often: Offered to take a look at what the kid who watches too much anime, doesn't read, doesn't go to college, has written. It's almost always universally terrible, but I try to be constructive and kind because I respect creativity.
i have to keep washing my hands before going to bed bc i consider my laptop/cell phone unclean also i have a selection of books i keep near my bed that are clean and i can only read them in bed
>>7512574
have you never heard of alcohol wipes
That sensation of an alien world is inherently intertwined with nostalgia, loneliness, emptiness; must I forfeit this life to reach that space? Are attachment and affection not false friends? I thought hope an enemy, but after disregarding all expectations I could only hope for the best; yet it still seems as love will inevitable end in betrayal. Should the present be defended, or am I in right or duty to do so? Can peace ever come without sleep, living or not, or is awareness the cause of all pains?
It's dark, cold, wet, and the holidays, so why am I not comfy?
>>7512285
This is really beautiful. The sentiment is something I really agree with. The last two sentences were a bit cringe though.
>>7512193
This is a problem I have right now too. I've started seeing this girl and I really enjoy the time we spent together. Every time we make plans though, I always think about how it's a day away from work that I won't be spending writing or playing music. :(
I'm a fucking pleb and my depression and slow reading drive me from reading more and be less a pleb
>>7512756
Day is long, bro. Plenty of time to write before or after hanging out.
>>7512772
ehhh not really. She usually wants to spend the night. How do you have a long romantic day with a girl and tell her that you'd rather not have sex with her tonight - without freaking her out?
>>7512769
Read shorter stuff, trish yourself in other things besides literature.
>>7512776
How about before seeing her, you excuse-making fuck
I'm NEET and I don't think I'm happy. Would I be happier if I were Amish? Would I be happier if I were Muslim? Would I be happier if I strived to be as anti-degenerate as possible? Would I be happier if I lived in a monastery? Would I be happier if I weren't afraid of so many things?
Okay. This Tuesday for example. We're going Whale watching. That means starting pretty early. I'm not saying I don't EVER have time to do shit, I was merely trying to empathize with the other anon about how we wish we could have our cake and eat it too.
I'm going to be in Disney World this week, jail the next. I don't know which I'm looking forward to less. I guess jail because it will cost me less money and, if things go as expected, I'll only be there for approximately 12 hours.
>>7512791
It sounds like the NEET lifestyle isn't for you. Why don't you change?
>>7512793
Should've proofread that. You know what I meant.
>>7512783
I usually read books that are up to 150-200 pages. The slow reading doesn't effect me much if I bring myself to seat down and read. It might take me some time, but at least I'm making a progress. What's really frustrating is that I'm too depressed to pull myself together and concentrate, and rather listen to music and ponder in thoughts or browse the web.
>>7512808
Why do you try to force yourself to do something that you don't want to do?
I've been trying to gin up names for some fake drugs for a science fiction story. And I'm pretty proud of myself for one of them.
Lethe was the name of the river that flowed through Elysium in Vergil's Aeneid. The shade of Anchises explains that when souls of the dead are ready to be reincarnated they must first drink from the river Lethe to wipe out their memories of past lives. I think this name would be perfect for some kind of heroin like drug.
>>7512794
I don't want to wake up at a certain time and go to bed at a certain time. I don't want to have a schedule. I don't want to have to worry about what I'm going to eat. I don't want to have to take multiple bowel movements every morning and plan my bus trip around them. I have a lot more reasons.
>>7511981
That's because everyone isn't the problem.
YOU are the problem. You can't run away from yourself.
No. This is not an insult. It's an enlightening. Now that you know where the problem lies, you can take your time to fix it. And that's one step closer to your problems being solved, bruh.
Get going. That starts with a healthy sleep cycle fyi. Also a hobby. Something that is stimulating. That's why the cure to boredom is trying new things.
Stop jerking off so much. Seriously. You will feel better.
Now GTFO muh /lit/
Why is fatherdubs ignoring me..
>>7512754
Yeah, I tend to stop things too late.
I think I gave up on working towards being a successful member of society. I'm not an exceptional student, not some socialite with networks, or someone who goes out of their way to do things proactively. I spend my time alone on the Internet when other people are going out improving their resumes, building relationships or at least having fun. I've come to terms with the fact my parents see me as a disappointment, I will end up the guy people feel bad for in high school reunions and will live alone without a great pay or quality of life. I'm not depressed in any way, I don't feel some need to end my life or stay in bed with no desire to wake up, but I have no strong motivation to be exceptional or improve my future.
I spend way too much time imagining the kind of life I'd lead if I were famous for my writing. It's very vain, and I've only ever gotten one story published in a shitty little magazine. My hope is that I will, in fact, some day be well-regarded as a writer, but I get way too far ahead of myself.
I'm starting to catch serious (reciprocated) feelings for my girlfriend of 2 months, which is kinda fast for the both of us. I'm terrified of getting emotionally attached to people because, after an incredibly distressful early-teenage period of my life, I had to sever ties to my mother who was the only immediate family member I have left. Since then I've basically been living on my own cut off from any sort of emotional obligation to family. This month is always extra hard for me because it was the last time I saw my mom, and my friends and distant relatives are always so insistent on me spending Christmas with them, but truth be told I feel absolutely worthless and completely crushed being some tourist family member who gets to crash on couches and briefly observe how an actual family behaves. It reminds me that, at the end of the day, I legitimately have nothing to fall back on.
The thought of getting close to anyone to the point of dependence makes me feel both incredibly anxious and somewhat relieved. I'm too young to see myself married, so I go into relationships anticipating an end, and with this in mind im at a constant conflict internally. I want to continue to take this relationship as far as it can go, but not if it means I'm going to destroy what small sliver of emotion that I have left if it ends badly, which seems to be the most likely end for a young relationship between two equally overly-attached people.
I've been songwriting, always in snippets of great lines in pairs, but the couples are so disjointed that they never match well enough to create anything substantial. There is potential but the end result is ultimately disappointing; I write hymns of hymens lost but the message muddies and turns to psalms of palms. My hands are harried and my resolution fleeting, so I take my pairs and form mismatched unities. I continue to sing lines and lines and lines of triplets and twins and lonely children, of bastards that grow up to drink alone, of collapsing walls, and of sobbing fetal balls. We all die alone,
but I'm afraid of dying lonely.
>>7512471
Writing about the things that make people miserable provides catharsis. That's all there is to it. You're not edifying yourself as this intellectual dynamo because you're complaining about people writing about heartache. In bold contrast you come off as an uptight, sexless dweeb whining about an issue that only you care about.
There's always this blank space in front of us and we are fated to fulfill it till the end of our lives. Even if we kill ourselves, we're still working it out.
Even though God knows what happens next, we also know that everything we do is our own responsibility, because we have despotic power over our bodies and minds.
I don't think I will ever understand how it works, but I just wanted to write it down.
Meh I need something's fun or interesting to do
I like to think im some adventurous, independent outdoorsman, but Ive gone hiking only once in the past several months. I love to be outdoors but I also have a fear of, not being alone, but of being lonely. I attach to much of my happiness and self-worth to being liked and loved and being with people, when really I cant find what I want in others. Yet still I come crawling back to my idiot friends, wound up on drugs and sex, just to feel like im not in the wrong of life.
>>7511956
this past week has been like a burst wound and now there is no painful pressure but there is so much pus and it stings when i touch the new skin
the year after i was born was a profoundly warm one, especially in its winter months, it feels as though i am in another sort of beginning, i am beset with waves of vague spirituality, i am getting weirder and i can feel it
Guy that my girl left me for is feeling like shit now that he has her. I feel nothing for her anymore. Not even the slightest amount of hatred because that would be dedicating too much thought process to her.
Feeling great for the first time in months.
I told her I love her,
Why?
I told her it would be permanent,
Why?
I told her I hate the liar,
How can that be true?
To be the jailed and the jailor, such is commitment.
On the silent nights I wonder why,
I would promise what I know impossible.
I would see the end of this grave failure,
Should I redeem my own sins.
>>7512939
Secret to a good relationship: don't have sex until you get married.
Every couple I know of that did that has a fantastic marriage, with ups and downs of course, but sometimes most of us really yearn for.
Dragonball Z is fucking garbage
>>7511956
Why am I such a loser. Even though I had no social life during semester time, I'm still a loner during the semester break. Help
>>7512821
Holy fuck, do you know me irl?
>>7513373
>found the virgin
>>7512821
>Stop jerking off so much.
Bad advice.
>>7511956
A Cópula
Depois de lhe beijar meticulosamente
o cu, que é uma pimenta, a boceta, que é um doce,
o moço exibe à moça a bagagem que trouxe:
culhões e membro, um membro enorme e turgescente.
Ela toma-o na boca e morde-o. Incontinenti,
Não pode ele conter-se, e, de um jacto, esporrou-se.
Não desarmou porém. Antes, mais rijo, alteou-se
E fodeu-a. Ela geme, ela peida, ela sente
Que vai morrer: - "Eu morro! Ai, não queres que eu morra?!"
Grita para o rapaz que aceso como um diabo,
arde em cio e tesão na amorosa gangorra
E titilando-a nos mamilos e no rabo
(que depois irá ter sua ração de porra),
lhe enfia cona adentro o mangalho até o cabo.
>>7513489
I'm such a piece of shit, but it stirs my insides in a fine way, I've been giddy all day.
She really likes fucking me, or rather: getting fucked by me. We really do have great sex. Almost good enough to build a relationship upon just that.
And then, the other girl. She likes having sex with me too, but she's not as interesting. But she really likes me. But I don't care about that.
I just want to fuck.
I really want some Paul Laffoley posters or at least full-resolution images.
>>7513489
kek, pára
Não te esforces tanto ou ainda pões o César Monteiro a chorar
>>7513528
kek
Look, it's 1:40am and I'm lying in bed with my macbook watching It's Always Sunny on Netflix whilst simultaneously swiping through Instagram and I see that She posts a picture of herself, holding a drink. Looking happy with a friend. I notice that one of the hashtags has been incorrectly typed causing it not to link the title properly. My breath stops. For a moment I'm ensconced in a panic prompted stasis. I quickly see if she's 'liked' any photos or 'followed' anyone else. I check Facebook. Nothing. No new posts, no new friends added. For approximately 2 seconds I'm relieved before I think back to the typo in the Instagram post. She's meticulous, she wouldn't make a typo lightly. So she's obviously drunk. She's drunk and with a friend I now remember she discussed sex with.
Fuck.
I don't recognise the buildings behind her. Has she gone interstate for New Years? She's going to meet someone. She's going to meet someone and fuck them. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up and send a picture of it to her to show her what she's doing to me. This is pathetic. Motherfucker, why do you keep doing this? Just block her, block her from everything. Stop posting things when you're out under the facade of sociality when instead you're just trying to show her that you've moved on. Posting things ostensibly for fun will inevitably only make you hate yourself more. Or maybe this is how everyone moves on.
Why can't I not love you anymore? Leave me alone. I don't want this. This is exhausting.
>>7513669
I sympathise with you.
I'm tired. Listening to music reminds me of my past and is depressing. I wish I had the energy to do things. I should probably take my meds soon so I don't go permanently psychotic for missing a dose. Having friends who send me pictures of things that arouse me over IM is nice, but kind of... less than sincere in some way. I wonder if my therapist has read my 80 page dream novel by now. I'm just going to throw up my meds anyway because weak stomach and breathing problems. I wonder if my van will work today. I wonder if I'll manage to find a summer internship or if I'll die a senior. Oh well.
>>7513669
Yep.
Goddamn it.
I marked her as "Show me less of this" in the Facebook feed. But Facebook must have realized I still searched her name every day and decided to revert my choice.
But the cold stabbing feeling of seeing a new profile picture in some other country. Knowing she just walked past me, knowing the last time I saw her was all fake. To what end? Why?
I don't want to see you, I want you to move out of this city, I want you to take your shit friends with you.
Why am I the bad guy? I really don't get it.
Well... I guess that I'm the bad guy now actually. I'm doing things you would not have approved of. Things I wouldn't have approved of. Am I acting out? Am I just free?
What am I? Who am I? If who I am is a reflection of what people think of me then I must have been inverted, forgotten and found.
Who are you? And why are you doing this?
Why can't I enjoy whisky? What is it about the stupid thing that just makes me shiver? Maybe I have too much of a sweet tooth. That's pretty juvenile-sounding. My tastes should have changed by now but they haven't. I've tried drinking it but I get absolutely zero joy from it and why should I force myself to pretend to enjoy something I hate? To hell with that.
I should be writing but I've never had a profound thought in my life and I'm probably doomed to the paper-back ghettos of genre fiction.
>>7513719
You should see /adv/
>>7512811
Yeah, just like all the other drugs named after things from Greek mythology you fuckwit.
>>7513725
Nah man, what I need to do is more drugs, lads and lasses.
I'm thinking I'm really looking forward to going home after the Christmas period and really getting cracking on my novella. Seeing her there, too. Also reCaptcha 22 would make for an interesting novel about a modern advertising executive of some sort but not one I have the time or motivation to write.
>>7513755
I Have No Eyes Or Ears To Solve This reCaptcha, and I Must Shitpost
her :(
>>7512031
it´s like heaven dude.
>>7512767
It's "mech" stuff. I'm not averse to anime. Honestly I got a sweet spot for immature fantasy stuff like that. But he keeps coming to me with different book ideas and all that crap. Can't stay on a single one. This seems to be such a common thing among people like this.
>>7514127
What kind of "mech" stuff are we talking about here? Anyway, you should probably tell him to try his hands at short stories, if he can't stay on a single idea; once he sees how much work it takes he'll realize how vacuous his stuff is.
>>7515139
when you come out your gundam is gone XD
>>7512471
>I imagine even some times at the klan rallies they don't talk about niggers but here its even more reliable
kekd hard, really relate to this whole post
>>7512031
I read this yesterday and now its all I can think about. :/
>>7513083
we're fated to fulfill a blank space? what?
>>7513720
Just drink rum bro. I sort of gave up on whisky. I don't dislike it, I just much prefer rum.
>>7511956
>write whats on your mind
dog shit
the end
>>7513519
Saw one of these at an art gallery once. Very strange
Reading through this thread, holy shit am I glad I am not in love with any woman.
>>7511956
Just had a small amount of ketamine and watched A Pervert's Guide to Ideology. My dad and brother joined in but we didn't understand much. Talked with said brother about his employment options and future plans to live in a shed/a nice shed/some kind of garage.
Mostly, my life is so boring that my biggest worry is that I'm not sure how to kill postmodernism either; but I'd still like to, even if I didn't get it. Dad and the rest could join in and we could all be confused together. I'll probably read some Kafka tonight, but not much, maybe twenty pages. I keep thinking about my ex, even though I was the one to end it. I'm vain enough to be concerned her new boyfreind looks like a sloth although I'm quite happy right now, taken altogether. The trick is this: stop asking yourself about it. We're naturally critical. It's all a surprise anyway.
The world is going so fast, and while social formalities evolve and change I struggle to keep up. I feel as if I'm drowning in my own ineptness, and can't save myself. Maybe I need someone to save me? I don't know.
My teeth feel really unclean because I didn't brush them last night. I keep running my tongue across the front upper row as if that nervous reflex is as good as brushing.
I'm sick; my eyes hurt & I have a slight headache from blowing my nose too much; it's a tremendous relief when a coughing fit produces a tangible bright-colored mass of phlegm for one to spit out of one's mouth into a napkin or drain.
In about two hours, I have to go record a podcast with my friend, outdoors (so he doesn't get sick). I hope that I don't get sicker in the cold. I think that I should drive there.
Yesterday I was behaving strangely. I was very rude to my friends; not overtly, but to the degree that I could tell that I was bothering them. One of them intuited that it was because I had had bad dreams the night before. That's true. I had bad dreams last night, too. I can't remember either of them, though.
Last night, while we were all eating at the vague south-east asian restaurant that my friend had walked to, very quickly—so quickly that my other friend and I had to almost jog just to keep up with him—while we were eating there, I saw someone that I had had drinks with. He lived beneath the friend who's recording the podcast with me, and we had met and talked many times. When I saw him yesterday, however, he didn't seem to notice me. I kept trying to say hello to him, but I never had the courage.
The tea that I had at the restaurant made me feel terrible; like I was full of buzzing wriggling bands of energy that were incapable of resolving themselves into real actions or of forming focussed thoughts of any kind.
Just noticed a new post in the thread. I wonder how long until I reach the post length limit. I'm at ~1800. Is the limit 3000? The poster wants to kill postmodernism. How bold! I don't even feel like I've managed to surpass modernism.
On the day after christmas we looked at the golden gate from the headlands. It was very beautiful; one of my friends kept talking about how he always wanted to watch someone die. The other one pretended to push me off where I was standing. We smoked cigarrettes. I don't like to mess around with death. If you wanna die, then go ahead. But otherwise, it's best to live. That's what I say. I have a feeling that life is so much more fragile & more valuable than most people think it is. In the city, where there's numberless people, I guess you get sick of them. But that's just a misperception.
Someone else just posted. I have to move the post window back and forth to expose different parts to read everything that he said. He seems lost & confused, and he wants somebody to save him.
I was going to write something else, but I forgot. Just noticed a post where someone said that they were glad that they were not in love with any women. I don't mind that. Even when I was in unrequited love, it was better than being completely alone with one's thoughts.
She's staying with her new boyfriend this christmas. Now I'm out of spac
Getting antidepressant withdrawals. Brain zaps, nausea and really weird dreams. So many dreams I feel like I'm barely sleeping. My mood seems OK, though I'm still obsessing over the idea that, statistically speaking, my gf is a slut. Not sure if I just need to break up with her or go back on my meds... Does previous sluttiness concern anyone else when in a serious relationship, or am I being an r9k teir bitter loser?
I'm lonely as hell and it's gone to the point where I can barely imagine how it would be to have a person you're not related to in your life who genuinely cares about you.
The concept of having someone in my life who's always there for me and misses me when I'm not with them is so foreign to me.
>>7515266
A slut will always be a slut, famiglia. Damaged goods. It's normal to not want a slut, but it's not politically correct in the current year.
>>7515264
I can't really comment, other than to say that I really enjoyed reading this post.
18 could have done better
Sebastopol
St Lucia
Sweden
Svenkirk
Why am I still awake
Swaziland
Sahara
San Tropez
San Francisco
San Diego
San Marino
Shetlands
Summerisle
Summerdale
Somerset
Somersby
St Pancreas
Sheffield
Stanton
I wonder when she'll reply
Shoreditch
Surrey
Sutton
Saudi Arabia
Sweden
Switzerland
Stalingrad
I'm pretty sure some of these are fictional or no longer exist
Sealand
Somalia
Saturn
Maybe I should masturbate
Syria
Salisbury
Sacramento
Sudan
Spain
Serbia
Salem
Syracuse
Salt Lake City
Sri Lanka
Seoul
Salvador
Oh shit Limmy is dead
Samoa
>>7515248
"Forget the years, forget distinctions. Leap into the boundless and make it your home!"
>>7515531
I like this.
As a black dude, I don't see the point in making Hermione black in the play.
I'm reading a Levin chapter ( Anna Karenina) and decided to take a break and watch how a scythe was used. Ended up finding this neat video
https://youtu.be/3OAPRyNWwdM
You can see them use a scythe both ways at the 5 minute mark. You can also see them eat bread, buttering it heavily before each bite... Something I've only ever seen my step dad do, who comes from a farming family.. Going off on a tangent like this because I didn't know what a swath was is what makes me really appreciate reading. Maybe that's pleb.
fucking neet. new favorite word. neet. didn't think it'd turn out like this, did you? in fact, you didn't think at all. maybe if you took the stream of images in your head more seriously you could actively use them and infuse your mind with your life instead of being the biggest fucking pussyyou think you know....
every other day thinking about all those times those high school and college teachers would let something slide or give you a second chance because they thought you had 'talent' 'potential'
'you'll thrive in college'
i haven't thrived anywhere
i'm scared of some blurry image of absolute terror that has never been a part of any experience had in this life.
maybe if stopped taunting myself with 'you're too old to start now' 'since when do you have wrinkles on your face'
i still feel it. the desire to be a ghost consuming phenomena. a faceless point in warped undulation with the ocean of somethingness.
anything goes as long as it works. about time i acted accordingly
I just FUUUUUCKED her.
It's like she has a scorecard of my kinks and just keeps checking them off. The spanking and strangling for sure, but most girls like that. But hitting her face, hitting her fucking hard. Goddamn. Am I a Chad now?
This girl tells me her legs are still weak from the goddamn fuck marathon two days ago. And then stays over a second night.
I haven't slept at all two nights this week, I just fucked. Dear god that was incredible fucking sex. I didn't even know I could fuck for 8 hours. Her skin is so soft, she looks so adorable looking up at me with my cock in her mouth. And she's not dumb? How did I find this fucking girl? And a threeway with her friend coming up?
I mean... Things are looking up. Didn't expect this a year ago. Phew! I look so fucking ripped from two nights of heavy workout just pounding this little girl.
I have to break it off with the other one, she'll be crushed though. That sucks.
>>7517062
Gave me a boner, good job.
>>7517062
I miss being young. Fingers crossed she isn't secretly a complete mental.
My friend is dead
I've cried enough now to feel numb but I can't shake the feeling that it's wrong
You were too young
>>7513482
Actually it fucking isn't.
If you jerk more than 2 times everyday you overuse certain neurotransmitter receptors, mainly dopamine which is involved in motivation, goal oriented behavior, overall mood and several more.
The "no-fap" works only for for people who fap more than 3+ times a day, and the improvement is an overall shift towards more active and energetic behavior.
>inb4 placebo le kerekkek
It's placebo for those who don't jerk off regularly.
Remember the benefits are only limited in the mood/behavior area, nothing else, it's nothing magical.
Just think of any substance (e.g. heroine) that overuses your feelgood neurotransmitter receptors to the point they can even lead your receptors to failure, usually it needs time to recover but there is a possibility of permanent damage in those receptors.
But those are the most extreme cases.
What you have to understand is that humans, genetically arent used to having so much "joy".
We have ready food, comfy houses, no fear of real danger/security, video games, films endless entertainment, every kind of porn to fulfill even the tiniest drop of craving you have, any kind of food available, it's fucking insane, no it's beyond insane it's close to a paradise for some people.
You have so many needs fulfilled plus huge amounts of stimuli, masturbation alone uses alot of them chems, combined, it's no wonder that you'd feel so shitty and unmotivated after flooding your brain with feeling all sorts of joy.
How base we are, in thought and nature; how human we are, pretending otherwise.
>>7511956
Eat dicks, a dozen.
hand selected, cousin.
gonna eat that dick you are?
Immortal faggotry, not too behind far.
I'm an excellent writer, but at the rate things are working out I might not get the recognition I deserve until after I'm dead.
Worth
Worth has more meaning than we often give it.
It's constructed but so is shelter.
I happily lived with no worth in sight
only to find that this was living a lie.
I can't feel worthless.
Something has to give.
Maybe that something is me.
Maybe I'm lost for thought
>>7519099
Well you know what you have to do then.
Either one less pretentious fuck, or we can finally get into your catalogue. Win, win.
>>7515266
You are being a serious beta if you let that bother you.
Don't have much time. Wish I had money to spend.
The voices are back.
Fucking dickholes.
They won't shut the fuck up about Nietchze.
>>7517294
Wait
Am I forever fucked if I jacked off three times today instead of the usual 1.25?
>>7512791
>>7512812
Chances are you'd never be happy no matter what the circumstances. If you're NEET, how do you eat now? Anyway, sometimes what you "want" is just something you do because it's easier and you don't feel like putting in the effort, even though you might get more fulfillment out of doing something slightly harder. Any ambitions? Any goals? How do you spend your time now?
>>7515266
Nah, that's r9k-tier. Define sluttiness.
>>7512908
Eh, embrace mediocrity. Wallow in it, and be content.
>>7512913
Yeah, stop doing that.
>>7513101
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you need to stop being an image-obsessed asshole and learn to enjoy yourself a bit
>>7519448
WTF is this?
>>7519490
KIA
IM 3 EPISODES AWAY FROM FINISHING DEEP SPACE 9.
AND
THEN
I WILL
BE
FREE
following ones dreams is a trap. it is wisdom to admit one's limitations and to accept the conventional.
>>7515731
because progress, cuz.
>>7519550
Depends where they're at now in their life
>>7519519
kek
>>7519448
/pol/ pls.
I can't fall asleep. What's a patrician movie I can watch before going to bed?
>>7519550
yeah? how is this even a question
>>7520048
Back Country. You'll get halfway through, everything interesting happens and you can fall asleep to background noise.
Looks like my medication is lost, so I get to stay up all night reading Crime and Punishment. Also, why don't we just nuke /pol/ and be done with it?
>>7520075
>Also, why don't we just nuke /pol/ and be done with it?
if only.
where the fuck is stalin when you need him
I'm glad I branched out of /fa/ and came to /lit/ both cover my two favorite art-forms
unfortunately I can't tell if I am smarter than everyone on here or not as smart. I feel like these people talk out of their ass a lot.
Also just as there is meme clothing on /fa/ there is meme literature on /lit/ which I find funny.
All in all I am glad to be here even though I am a bit of a newfag, and I've seen some genuine, nice, and intelligent people around.
>>7520118
>I can't tell if I am smarter than everyone on here
There are quite a few people here who probably dwarf you intellectually but you won't know because they'll mostly be memeposting. I've met post-docs who visit 4chan just to fuck with people who don't actually know what they're talking about.
>>7520148
thanks f a m that's reassuring
>>7520118
>can't tell if I am smarter than everyone on here
Not a single soul would agree with you.
Intelligence is a double edged sword everyone believes their ideas are better or more unique than everyone elses.
Pretty sure /lit/ is composed of pseudo-intellectual 20 year olds. They're not doing anything to benefit society, they're reading books and writing. You want some real intelligence, you need to get off of 4chan.
>>7520156
that whole post sounded like pseudo-intellectual drivel so I'll agree with it
>>7520158
fuck you got me
>>7520156
>intelligence means 'benefiting society'
M E I N G O T T
>>7520169
tfw with the privilege of intelligence and education you have an obligation to contribute in some way instead of being a NEET faggot
I need some advice. What is stylistically better?
>trilogy of novels following a few characters but no real over arching plot, just smaller subplots
or
>3 separate novels having similar but distinctly different characters and universes tailored to fit the respective plot of each novel
>>7520177
tfw starwars
I met a woman at work a few days ago. Well, "met" is hardly the term. I was the standing behind a counter and we only exchanged a few words, purely business, but despite all this i can't stop thinking about her. I've been depressed recently, my inability to live up to my potential, spending my waking hours in my hometown selling overpriced garbage to both strangers and occasionally to those who knew me when i was getting ready to change the world. In the middle of my exercise in self-pity I looked out from my trance and found that I had been unknowingly speaking to the most beautiful woman I could imagine. I haven't felt that clarity and fixation on any woman I've ever met. I'm sure of this. It's inexplicable to me. I'm not saying this because i was attracted to her physically or mentally, she was fairly plain and at least a dozen years my elder and she had a child with her. I... I can't figure out what it is about her.
Does this happen to everyone? I'd never consider approaching her romantically but i felt such a strong clarity around her that I've felt my thoughts clouded over in comparison since. This was seriously indescribable, I'm grasping at straws here and the feeling is fading already. Am I projecting some sort of fantasy onto whoever was around at the time? It doesn't feel like it but logically it's what I'm guessing.
What the fuck. I've never felt that way about anyone, let alone the woman I'm currently seeing.
I feel like shit.
>>7520206
shit, excuse my typos
>>7520176
>the privilege of intelligence
>you have an obligation to contribute
>if you don't agree with me you're a neet
literally ideology: the postkill yourself my man
>>7512285
>Why not? Let's be human, human sounds like fun. Let's be fucking weird.
you sort of had something going but that ending's just horrible
>>7520222
If you don't/can't contribute, you aren't intelligent, my man.
:^)
>>7520238
your brain is so completely cucked by capitalist ideology you would let a team of immigrants train your wife if it was considered productive.
Grey matter
>>7517294
So which peer reviewed neuroscience articles are you basing this on?
poopypoopy poop boobs.
Poop on the boobs
>>7520238
I hate to break it to you, but you can be intelligent without contributing to society.
>>7520257
You keep term swapping between capability and actual application; and its uncertain if you can't tell the difference or if its caused by a more general retardation you suffer.
Let me be clear.
If on a walk I came across you dying I might certainly have the capability of helping you, but I most certainly would not.
If you argument is actually that intelligence is only displayed in the "productive" option, then your idea of intelligence is retroactive and infallible, aka nonsense.
In reality there is a reason why so many people in power, who are very intelligent, choose not to produce. The reason is that most "production" is not necessary at all; its just meaning circus, more desires and goals that you are spooked into thinking are "productive".
The second reason is that most people, and especially the poor, are cucked by capitalism into near un-personhood.
There is 0 reason to respect anyone who does work they don't find intrinsically rewarding.
Someone who works for a living puts money over the value of their own life and dignity. They sell themselves into slavery out of fear. They act like an animal with no respect for themselves, and so it is impossible to respect them truly.
In a capitalist society, the myth of classes and brotherhood of man must be dogmatically sold to you, because otherwise you would have to look around yourself and realize that you respect almost nobody, and that nobody around you is worth "producing" for.
The NEET is only a noble philosopher who has discovered the truth of our current social and economic climate. He has discovered a path of dignity and respect for himself and he is justified in living off people like rats, because they don't respect their own lives so the NEET cannot be told to respect theirs.
>>7520275
>trying this hard to defend NEET
all of my keks
>>7520275
>The NEET is only a noble philosopher who has discovered the truth of our current social and economic climate.
>>7520277
>trying
You couldn't make a counterpoint with a million years of writing time.
Let's be real. Your only application in the world is the job you have been educationally bread for. You can't exist in the world of intellectual discourse.
>b-but you aren't doing anything! lazy!
>you aren't any good to anyone!
>p-production!
>b-but you are just living off others
>production morality!
its so tiring to see wageslaves roll around in their own shit and call it morality.
just stop.
I feel like life has become autonomous, and that i'm simply going through the motions at this point. Every day feels the same as the last and even though I'm doing things I tell myself I enjoy I can't help but feel empty inside
I'm thinking of joining the National Guard. Had a shot at getting a degree after high school and promptly fucked it up. Spent a couple years working a shit retail job, smoking pot and playing vidya. Now I regret it all, very much so. I won't be able to get those years back, but I'm still young enough to enlist, go back to college tuition-free, get into shape, gain respect for myself and garner it from others and carve a place for myself in this world. Become the person I was supposed to be.
>>7520290
>its so tiring to see wageslaves roll around in their own shit and call it morality
More a question of worth and self-worth than morality. I don't think anyone really argues pro-work from a stance of moral indignation, more a projection of worth onto another.
>>7520290
this whole time you are >implying
that the only way to be productive is via some practical form of work, and that intellectual discourse doesn't count
Stemfag please go
Try to name an intellectual that has contributed nothing.
Pro tip: you absolutely cannot
>>7520290
>bread
>>7520307
I'm so confused by this post and I don't know why and that's making me more confused.
>>7520323
The person who posted and got roasted was replying to my initial post, however I was not one of the 3 who replied to his post roasting him.
>>7520328
Is this poetry?
>>7511956
Does a scanned/uploaded version of Cambridge Companion to Plato exist? I'd like to read a bit of it before making buy decision
I'm probably getting their book on Wittgenstein and I'd like to read bit of it too.
>>7520331
I am looking in Rutracker and their Russian book tracker and they have some Cambridge books but not philosophy.
Is there any English tracker I could register to, to check the books?
>>7520358
nvm I found them in Rutracker, gonna read some few pages and make a decision if I buy one for Plato and Witt.
I enjoy coming here. Not a huge litman (which is perhaps a reason why I can enjoy this place in the way I do) but sometimes it's just delightful to be on here. Good board.
>>7520378
I read so little, maybe 3 books a year but this board is so good for discussion anyway I come here.
pain = God
>>7520381
This year, I read like five books. Before, I probably read about one book every three years or something like that.
>>7520388
Imagine if we spent time reading literature instead of 4chan posts..
I don't understand why people think Evangelion isn't deep or complex. Sure, it may be easy to deliver what is shown, but it's incredibly difficult to write such a believable world as well as crazy, relatable character, while being truly thought provoking.
>>7520394
People are too pessimistic and don't see the message(s) of evangelion to be true in any way. In addition to that, it shouldn't require you to watch a show 3+ times to "get" it if you're not educated.
>>7511956
im a dead inside person and i think people noticing it and i need to hide it somehow
>>7511956
I want to masturbate but my dick is sore, my urethra burns, and the callouses on my hand are ripping chunks of skin off.
>>7520391
Well I've recently been practicing some self-control and mindfulness, so maybe my 4chan/literature reading ratio will shift.
In trying to do this I've realized how much of what I do is involuntary or impulsive and routine. Just a little example is when it was starting to get dark one day, and I stood up and reached behind my computer tower to switch on my light. The light didn't turn on and I remembered that the bulb had gone out earlier that day. So I flipped the switch back and sat at my computer again because I didn't mind too much.
As I did shit on the computer, I got up maybe three different times to flip the switch, again only remembering once I had done it that the bulb had gone out, and that I was flipping the switch just as a routine reaction to noticing the change to night.
What is this "seek help" meme? why the fuck would i go to seek help from people who know l i t e r a l l y nothing about me or the situation im in?
I feel like the only person who can truly change me is myself, is this wrong?
>>7520434
Sort of, except if you're literally shittily built, which is obviously the case.
So, you get help. It's not like you're special or unique, don't worry, help will help.
>>7520444
>literally shittly built
>shittly
what does this mean
you're right, but you're formed by external influence, centrally other people. to ignore that fact, to shun other possible perspectives, is to simply deny yourself change.
Gojira is literally the best band ever.
>>7520466
>Gojira
>Metal
4chan is an 18+ site kid.
>>7520470
ebin
>For example, he
>holds that human well-being does not consist in wealth, power, or
>fame, but in virtue; that so long as one remains a good person one is
>immune to misfortune; that to possess the virtues is to have intellec-
>tual mastery over a distinct subject matter,- that this mastery can be
>acquired only by means of a successful investigation of what the
>virtues are; and that if one leaves these questions unexamined, one's
>life is not worth living
is he trying to say that if you know a distinct subject matter like back of your hand you're a good person and no misfortune/bad can happen to you?
is he dumb?
>>7520490
>Human well being is virtue which is mastery over subject.
>You can only have mastery over subject matter if you have virtue.
Is he saying you need to really know what you know or is he saying mastery generates virtue but to have mastery over subjec you need virtue for it in which case it is circular logic which is a no no
help a dumb white nigger
>>7520466
I only like Flying whales and enfant sauvage.
>>7520502
Flying Whales is good, L'Enfant Sauvage is eh, but Gojira's "eh" is still pretty golden. Their newest album is my least favorite from them, but one of the songs in it, Born in Winter, is the best one they've put out in my opinion.
>>7511956
I pulled out and she reached down with her small hand and squeezed the cum out of me, I howled, it was the best orgasm I've ever had, better than cumming inside her. I rolled off of her and she laid on my chest. She repulses me, I hate myself for fucking her without a condom. I wish she would leave. I would kill myself if she were pregnant.
>>7511956
>write whats on your mind
What a base and pathetic existence we all lead, scrabbling and crawling about for the meager resources to keep ourselves alive. All at the expense of our life's blood. Aside from absolute service to homeostasis, we spend the scant few remaining hours trying to fuck more "humans" into existence. Just another piece of crass "human" flesh to be lauded as sacred because it was squeezed out of a "human" womb. Never mind if this is a defective, retarded, misshapen aberration - we'd martyr the entire species just to preserve that specific iteration of failure.
So many have lost sight of the animals we truly are. Our hubris will be the death of the species. We will have the dubious honor of being the only animal species in the history of the planet that goes extinct because of its own ignorant pride.
>>7520524
That was literally the gayest post I've ever read, and I just came from /v/ after reading a post about some dude sucking dick for the first time.
>>7517146
>Fingers crossed she isn't secretly a complete mental
I've known her for so long though, she was basically just a kid when we first met. I made out with her once when she was 17 or so, I had forgotten but she remembered.
FLASH CUT:
Her ankles on my shoulders, my pelvis smacking against her butt as I thrust all of me into this little thing. My complemented dick in a red, almost pinkish condom. She told be I should do porn with a cock like mine and it feels genuine; it is a nice dick. She tells me she's ashamed that we have to use lube, "You're too big, you'll break me!". She is tight though so I might actually break her.
Her hands are to the sides grabbing the linens, as I'm all the way into her. She has nice young breasts and the thinnest little waist. When I fucked her from behind earlier I almost though I could fit my hands around her completely. I can fit my hands around her neck though. I have to be careful not put my entire body weight onto her neck, with one hand on the mattress next to her head and the other on her neck touching her chin with my thenar space. Perfectly breaking off her breathing, she wasn't prepared and I caught her just as she had breathed out. She makes a small attempt at breathing in but I can hear how it doesn't work; a muffled gasp masked by flesh hitting flesh as I pound by cock inside of her tight little pussy.
Her eyes are open but she doesn't look at me, I'd like the pleading look girls make when you choke them, she told me she feels ashamed to look me in the eye since we've known each other for so long, for me to know that makes up for the missing pleading look. Her entire body is pleading instead.
it's been an awful year for me
most of my friendships have fallen apart
seriously considering leaving the country after I graduate at the end of this year
>>7520563
where u living now family
>>7520563
r u me?
>>7520565
Australia
want to move to Italy
trying to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow night, tbqh
do you think 18 fucks krillin's boipussi with a strap on?
>>7520381
y-you're joking, right?please be joking
>>7520853
I haven't finished a single book this year
ditched by a cute broad who was going to sit on my face regularly
everything was perfectly set up, i was finally going to escape the hell of constantly having to manage eighteen different dating site accounts and canvas 250 women simultaneously
i was finally going to have a perfect vice to strategically distract me from work, one that didn't overlap into work and fuck work up
now i'm back to booze and spending 4 hours masterminding how to trick the chubby chick from modelmayhem to sit on my face
one day i'm going to have audience pussy on anthony cumia levels
>>7520925
Talking to multiple girls at once is such a hassle, it's actually a bit like the dating sims on newgrounds, where you have to keep track of all of their information like "What's my blood type" and "When's my birthday". Only with like work or school information or some shit like that.
There's this girl that is practically dating me (I'm not dating her though, although she'd like it very much) and I'd be hard pressed to remember her name or what she is actually studying. And I remember more of her than I do any of the other ones.
Tinder should have some kind of stat sheets you can fill in. Although it sort of sucks when they stop talking to you before you get the chance to take them on a date.
Why is it so difficult to get a date on the same day with someone? Why do you have to make plans a week in advance? It's not like going on a date is such a hassle.
> spending 4 hours masterminding how to trick the chubby chick from modelmayhem to sit on my face
How does that plan look?
My only plan for next year is to kill myself. First I'm going to try and induce psychosis through prolonged massive acid use, multiple 2000µg+ trips, then whack my benzo tolerance up so high that I will die from withdrawal or commit suicide if my supply runs out.
>>7520964
of all the ways to go why benzo withdrawal
>>7512506
>>7520956
>this is the sort of shit that happens when you play too much dating sims.
