Say it!
Any legbutt with something to say? SAY IT!
>low key made this thread for myself so I can also vent.
I feel that there really is no hope for me.I'm not sure how to go about confessing to my best friend...or if I should even go about it at all. All I know is I just have this summer to make something happen if I want to. I don't want to make things awkward, or ruin anything between us. I just want to get drunk or super high one day and cuddle with her because when I'm lit I really don't give any fucks..Somehow I know I'll regret it in the morning, if I ever do.
What's your story OP? How did you fall for your best friend?
>>6241979
I'm a year older than her. So when she graduated from highschool it really hit me. She was going out of state. All the way upstate. I wouldn't see her as often as I used to. Her graduation meant she was gone. She was gone for good. And I had taken everything for granted. I love her.
Yet she's so far away I'm really debating on wether it would ever work out.
Or even if she likes me for that matter.
i wish i started hrt 2 years ago, i feel like i fail myself every day.
>>6242190
How old are you?
I want two dicks in me at once. I wish I had a pussy so i could get DP'd
Not eating makes you hungry, who would have thought.
I went to a party last night on girlmode, enjoyed it, punched two people in the face because i have a bf, got home called bf acted ridiculous ended up cutting my leg and im scared it will scar
Idk if this counts as what the thread wants but my friends are asleep and i dont have anyone to talk and come to terms with it
I hate that I get the desire to be motherly but it clashes so hard with my personality and social behaviors.
Cute mom stuff stirs envy and I don't know why, I don't want kids.
>>6242038
I'm about to fall in the same boat with you. He's graduating next semester and he's going to take a year off in China. Even if things go right and he likes me back, we'll only be together for a short time but I don't care. Any possible time with him is like heaven to me. Days just seem happier and clearer when I'm with him.
I hate being demisexual, i hate the fact that i fell so fucking hard for my best friend and drove her away because i got too sweet and expressive (she's ace btw). Why can't i see something in other people? And if i do, it's merely aesthetic. I want her out of my mind but in my life again
Call it generic if you must, but:
I have a really serious crush on my friend and just want to tell him without screwing everything up between us (I don't have enough friends to be able to afford to lose one).
I only have 2-3 weeks to tell him before we finish college (British one; not american) and go to separate universities over 80 miles away from each other.
>falling for friends
We've all been there and we all left heartbroken.
>>6243020
Damn. Sounds like it. Has anyone actually went out and confessed to their friend? Or dated? There has to be some success stories..
>>6242230
22 ftm
i had a good opportunity 2 years ago but i was in a stupid living situation.
I'm ugly, that makes me angry and I hate everything. So to avoid being edgy I am sarcastic and shit to other people.
I sometimes fantasize about (consensually) hurting and causing pain to transgirls and cute femboys.
Natalie Mars is a hon
I wish I had a pussy so a thicc bear could ram his dick up my vagina and impregnate me but all women are thots so I don't know what to do
>>6244501
My best friend in high school is now my gf of three years. I think we'd be devastated if we broke up, we'd lose our best friends. But no signs of that for now, so things are good. Good luck, anons!
Now to get it off my chest: I'm not super manly, but definitely not very feminine either. Which hits hard, because I think I'm fluid. I want to be able to crossdress and pass as female and just hang out with my female friends. But no confidence to CD in public, no makeup skills, and no backbone to either buy my own stuff and practice or ask one of my female friends. Its a vicious cycle and it sucks.
I'm not going to take shit from anyone ever
I'm getting the boy of my dreams ASAP
Anyone who fucks with me I will eat their brains
I am Christ
I am a God
>>6244661
In what way would you hurt them?
>>6245351
You must be 18 or older to post on 4chan.org
I hate being a god damned tranny. not only because its hella inconvenient but because I don't have an inch of overt femininity in me. Dysphoria is real and miserable but I wanna be a tomboy, not a real boy.
I think my mom knows, and she's dropping hints that's she's going to disown me.
I'm going to die, I can feel it.
I feel like a disappointment to my mom. I love her so much but the normie straight life is boring.
>>6242274
stretch your boypuss anon, 2 dicks is always possible.
>>6242290
you idiot, stop cutting. i stopped, so can you.
>>6245583
this is some /x/ shit, what the fuck.
>Get something off your chest
> Breast cancer.
3edgy5u
Came out to all my mates as bi. They treat me oddly now. I've always been the pervert as I have been with many women and am into bondage but now it's hit a new level. Can't really be myself desu familia.
Shits lame.
>>6245322
Just let it out anon
>>6246290
dominate the most alpha one sexually to show your dominance over them. worked for me.
>>6246315
I was always the most dominant but now with my declaration of open preference they have labeled me as weaker I feel. Did you have the same plight?
My best friend is tempting me, I have a girlfriend but he's always holding my hand and confusing me. It's so fucking confusing. What does he want from me
>>6246451
your dick, give it to him. in a box.
I dunno if this is the right place to post this, but I am in anguish.
(Btw, bear with me, this is my first long-ish greentext)
>In high school.
>6/10 Bisexual Nigger.
>Could probably get a bf/gf but I'm self conscious and a pussy.
>One day.
>We have gym class.
>one of my guy friends talks to me the whole time we change.
>7/10 that is in my league.
>he's mixed and kinda pudgy. He's also into some obscure comic shit.
>go into locker room.
>take so long that we're alone.
>banter goes from video games to practically rating each other's bodies.
>homoerotic tension hits critical mass.
>he says something about dating I can't remember for the life of me.
>gives me a sort of genuine but serous look.
>shrug it off as a joke.
>look back at him.
>straight faced, I say "niggers can't love. They're too busy working."
>the expression melts off his face and he begins to laugh a bit, awkwardly.
>we finally leave when the gym. teacher yells at us to get dressed.
>30 minutes later.
>finish stretches and warmups.
>gym teacher tells the class to get water outside the gym and chill out for the rest of the period.
>nice.jpg
>after getting water I go to take a piss for whatever reason.
>after I finish I go outside and see guy friend.
>he twiddled his thumbs and called me over to him.
>"Hey, faggot" I say, being the edgy freshman I was.
>"I-I actually wanted to talk a-about something." He stammered.
>"Allright..." I say, confused.
>"C-c-could you go out with me, anon?"
>He looked anxious for an answer.
>I could feel the blood rushing away from my legs.
>My heart was fucking racing.
>Yes
>Fucking Y E S
>MY CHANCE
>The first thing that came to my mouth, however, was no.
>He deflated immediately after he heard it
>"Oh, I see..."
>I couldn't tell him yes now
>We head back to the gym and it is probably the most awkward class period I will experience
>tfw All his friends tell me how much he liked me
>tfw One of my friends told me how much he wanted to fuck me
>tfw he still loves you for years
I hate women and every time I try to stop or try to discuss with them or anything, they just make me hate them all over again. Every. Single. Time. I just want us to come up with artificial wombs already so we can just exterminate all of them for the benefit of mankind.
Sorry girls, it's pretty unfair it's just the way I feel. I want nothing to do with women and I wish I could just live in a commune where they are not allowed. They invariably and inevitably wind up pissing me off. Their mere existence is repugnant.
Please don't even try arguing against me, I'm just going to ignore it. I'm not here to bicker, I'm just here to vent. My hatred is purely emotional, you women should understand how that works pretty well. So trying to argue against it with logic and reason is going to be pointless.
>>6246567
GO TO HIM YOU RETARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
>>6246594
Tbh I'm just kinda scared of him rejecting me or my (homophobe)parents not letting me take him home.
>>6246594
Tbh I don't want to just ask him out 2 years after I rejected him. It feels weird.
>>6246632
ANON, PLEASEstopbeinganidiotandgotohim
I just love you man!
I don't know what I did, but you started acting like an ass towards me, so screw you
I'm pretty sure you always knew how I felt so what's the matter man?
You were always really nice to me and made me feel special, was it because I stopped orbiting you as much? Don't blame me, I realized we weren't getting anywhere when you started dating the whore when you only knew her for one or two months, of course she was gonna cheat on you a week after, girls can't value someone as good as you.
I might be able to deepthroat a banana more than her, but she's the one with the vagina, right?
Was it because I kicked you in the head so you'd stop trying to fingerfuck me when we went camping? We were high as fuck, I didn't want it that way man. You didn't even try to kiss me, I don't just want sex, I want to love man
Why are you such an asshole but still get jealous/care when I do something unrelated to you? You're pushing me away, and I'm really glad, because I'll eventually move the fuck on, it's about time
I'm just lost now, I'm trying to distract myself, I'm learning guitar, practicing drawing, still studying. but I still feel lonely as fuck, and I have eyes for nobody else
That felt good
My gf just broke up with me last night and I feel awful. It was because I "wasn't emotionally available to talk about her suicidal thoughts" but I told her to consult her friends instead of me because i have a lot going on. In March my grandpa died after being sick for years. He was the first one to accept me when I came out as a lesbian. I started my first full time job after graduating college not long ago. I'm also in grad school and confused if I should bother with it. I also have my own depression issues that I need to juggle and more so with my grandpa dead.
I just wish she talked to me before she decided to get rid of me. We could have talked it out. I didn't even know it was an issue.
I'm just so mad/upset/sad that a break up was her first course of action. Maybe I just was never worth it. :/
>>6246706
Bitches, not even once anon. Not even once.
Women just do stupid shit like that, it really sucks.
>>6246713
But she was actually pretty level headed despite her depression. It was a total surprise. I did not see it coming at all.
Ugh. It sucks. A lot. It hurts.
I pretty much just want to go out there in the dating pool, but I suck at it because I get shy around cute girls. Especially more so if they're gay.
Ugh. Just FML.
/Somewhat end of rant
>>6246748
;.; that sounds pretty sad.
Honestly you should try to not feel so down about it. Maybe it was for the best. If she was willing to do this to you without even a hint of it coming, then obviously she is a double-crosser by nature. She probably would have burned you hard farther down the road anyway, and it probably would have hurt more.
Still, I know it has to suck a lot. You lesbians seem to have difficulty dating, too. At least from the stories of the handful I personally know. Either way, you got that gf, I'm sure you can get another. Hopefully a more stable person who is more open and honest with their partner.
>>6246567
ARE YOU ME?
>Pretty much inactive on OkC planning on deactivating my account soon becuase of transition
>Notice girl messaged me
>reply to her because I like chatting with people and I didn't expect much to come from
>Actually rally enjoy the conversation and she's super cute
>Chat more and we're really compatible
>Remember why I was planning on deleting my account
> (I'm a tranny in the middle of transition)
> A sense of impending doom looms over me
>According to her profile she's Bi
>Maybe there's hope
>We talk more because I really enjoy talking to her and she seems to enjoy talking to me
>After long conversation ends I start balling because I realize I've really fallen for her her but being trans will more than likely ruin this
>I also feel even worse because she seems to really like me but it'll probably break her heart when she finds out my secret
Idk I feel like shit about this situation it really makes me hate being trans and I feel like a monster because I'm going to put someone through that bit of turmoil over this
>>6246820
Maybe you're right.
But lesbian dating does suck because the dating pool is typically small. Especially if you take away girls who want threesomes with boyfriends, girls experimenting with their sexuality, poly girls with infinite partners, married women, etc.
Plus I get super shy in person. Texting and calling are whatever, but in person I try really hard to make the other girl like me. Especially if I like them. So I try to choose my words wisely which leads me to over thinking and lose any chatting opportunities. I have a hard time keeping eye contact because I'm scared of staring too much. I could go on, but I'm a dating disaster. Relationships are easier because by then I'm pretty confident that they like me. But first dates especially I am a mess. Albeit a cute mess.
>>6241836
I really really like fooling around with inexperienced guys
>if your over 26 please dont get any kind of gender reasignment surgery. you look like dee snyder.
>>6246895
tell her and report back fampai.
>>6246956
I'm waiting til our first date to tell her.
is that a bad idea?
I wish that I could be an ultrafeminine boy but my body frame will never allow for that so I just go for ultramasculine and I will never be happy with that
I wish I could still repress being trans.
>>6246983
Post your body baby. Maybe there's still hope for you. You might have to go on some meds though to make it happen. I had some luck myself and I thought I was pretty damn masculine when I started. Now I'm in the Goldilocks zone. Pic related.
Also even if there is no hope I get to look at an attractive guy maybe, so there's that.
>>6246991
Sorry, too uncomfortable with myself to do that on a slow moving board.
I just have extremely broad shoulders
>>6241836
Flamboyant fem turbofaggots are the bane of the lgbt community, the reason straight people loathe all of us and should be killed
>>6247117
How broad? Can you give us a measurement perhaps? It probably isn't even that much of a problem. You're not trying to be a girl. You're just trying to be a cute feminine guy.
>>6241836
i want to have a meaningful relationship, but my medical problems make intimacy incredibly problematic, and doctors cost money.
also im unemployed, constantly seeking work that isnt going to shaft me, so i have very little time or money to spend with or on other people.
i hooked up with a guy from grindr today. i couldnt get it up half the time, and neither me nor him could achieve completion. he left awkwardly, and i sat and dwelled in shame and self loathing. such is life in soviet new zealand.
>>6247503
its a shame too, because he was rather sweet, and seemed nice.
i don't know if I'm gay or not and it makes me mad and sad that there is no scientific way to find out without getting down and dirty.bwell to my knowledge at least.
>>6242038
This is why I'm glad I live in a small country. I'd be so afraid of losing all of my friends otherwise
I'm in love with a good friend of mine too. It sucks balls. I'm never going to tell her though, but I'm afraid she might have found out through a third party. I've told like three people when I was hammered and I'm paranoid that she might have found out. She hasn't said anything but she wouldn't either way. It's especially bad because I know she's been through this situation with another friend and it really upset her, although he confessed to her and was much more direct than I would ever be.
I don't even want anything from her, just to stay friends. I'm afraid if she finds out how I feel she'll get creeped out and start to drift away because she was so upset by the last situation. I never really had any hope to be with her anyways, and now I think we'd be pretty incompatible.
Which brings me to my next point. I'm 21 and have pretty much zero experience with sex and relationships so I'm afraid it's too late for me. I don't know if I could handle being in a relationship with someone and I don't think anyone would be interested anyway. It's not as big a problem as it could be because I've come to terms with being alone, I'm not really depressed any more. I think as long as I can make good art and music and have interesting experiences being happy is not that important. In fact it might be a hindrance.
mtf here
i mostly go out boymode when i go outside and i hate it bc people gender me sir but then look at me profoundly to the point where i get paranoid, they don't say anything but stare. its starting to wear me down, i want to go out full girlmode but i'm so fucking spineless and scared to go out like that, especially in college because i have no friends,and every time there is some talk about feminism or girl talk (this rarely happens),the fucking cis women apologize to me saying... "sorry annon your a boy so its nothing personal" but when it comes to hanging out with guys because too scared to at least try full time girlmode, i fucking don't connect at all, and when i do its just painful to keep the conversation going, i'm just stuck in the middle, love life is the same way. i hate this so much. socializing was shit before, now its hell.
I'm married to a woman (I'm a man), today I indulged my curiosity and had a gay sensual massage, paid some guy to get naked and massage me and then finish me off orally.
I feel bad but my family will never forgive me if I come out as gay or even bi.
>>6247847
;_;
Have you gotten other peoples opinions about whether or not you'd pass? How long have you been on hormones?
>but then look at me profoundly to the point where i get paranoid, they don't say anything but stare
I'm not trans, I'm just a femboy popping hormones, but I get that stuff all the time. Odds are you're looking pretty girly or at least pretty androgynous if you're getting the stares. That's good because it's a sign you're coming closer to your goals.
I on the other hand just dwell in this zone on purpose and just put up with peoples shit. But this is my end goal anyway. I'm sorry you've got to put up with all the boymode shit you hate.
>>6247867
Thank you, I'm on my phone now so I'll reply with more detail when I get to my computer.
Hormones for 1 year.
While while the looks part is probably a good sing it's the lack of relationship that kills me.
Thank you, this brightened up my day so much.
:')
im sick of living. my dating pool is empty, no guy near me will date a trans girl. the people who would date one are hundreds of miles away. i pass, im finished with my transition outside of taking maintenance estrogen forever. im a woman to everyone i come in contact with, unless it involves sex or relationships. then im just a trans girl. at this point i would date a chaser. i would date an abuser. i would date someone ugly, someone unsociable, someone dull. i would just want to make him happy, no matter what. but nobody wants me. i am useless.
im going to be alone. im really going to be alone for the rest of my life. im going to live alone, and im going to die alone. i wont get to share any piece of my life with anybody. i am never going to get married, never become a wife or a mother. people around me are already getting married, already starting to settle down. but i am going to be alone.
this will never end.
why cant it all just end
>>6247918
Stop whining Miku, it's not that "nobody wants to date a trans girl" (I know several cis guys who have), it's that nobody wants to date someone who whines and complains all the time. If you have depression, get that sorted out, but stop the "woe me, I am trans" bullshit.
>>6247916
Aww I'm glad I was a help :DD
I just had sex and it was boring!!!!
I lost my virginity and it was so fucking boring, he just shoved it up my ass and humped and I felt Noooooothing. And I have noone to blame, there's nothing to be done about it. It's just boring! And Bland!
Waaaaaah I don't know if I should cry or eat my feelings, or nothing because it was so boring it's not worth crying!!!
>>6248304
Let me guess, he also finished fast, too. Right?
First time is often lame as fuck for bottoms :/ don't let it discourage you. My first time was like that and I regret it, but my 2nd time and after that was fucking amazing. If you have a top who knows what he's doing it's spectacular. It also helps if you know what to do, too.
>>6248316
He didn't come... he fucked me for five minutes and... got distracted and I said I had to leave.
I didn't think I was a bottom haha. I asked him to bottom, and he was just... picky and fidgety and wasn't having it, so annoying. And then he got on top and snooze...
Feels good I'm not alone haha, I feel so dumb.
i want to break it off with my girlfriend and fuck new people
>>6248225
time for more detail.
there was this one girl that i knew 1 year before the encounter with her, and started 4 months into hrt. i came out as trans, and she said brutally that she saw a man in me, and that she doesn't really "see" the change in me, this however was ~6-8 months ago, maybe more idk. however the only person that i ask for noticeable results is my sister, she said that at the moment now that i look real feminine and she always keeps assuring me, but i think of her opinion as a influenced opinion bc she is my sis so obviously she is going to say things to make me feel better,whether she's conscious about it or not.
i'm still happy tho, even if i'm a hon (that could be another reason why ppl stare at me i guess...)at least my sister has my back, another thing i really hate about myself (first one that i may be a hon) is that i feel like a burden on her, she has to hear me complain and weep like a rotting door on a rusty wet hinge, i feel so sad and i bring others down with me.i'm just a broken record with nothing to shut me up, every time i talk about my issues i feel pathetic and weak, even i hate repeating this shit, but i just cant shut the fuck up. its shit to live as baggage.
>>6245367
idk, maybe I'd like to slap they're cute faces or their growing and sentive breasts or maybe I'd like to whip them with a whip and just see how pain paints itself on their faces. But then again, It'd have to be consensual.
>>6241836
I'm 28 in a relationship with a girl 24, but I feel more and more attracted to men rahter than women. I'm bi, i had my share of guys and girls alike.
I want to fuck the shit out of a soft featured guy so badly.
DONT TELL ANYONE I SAID THIS
To be honest, I just want to try hormones for a little while to be a cuter guy. I don't even feel trans.
The problem is I don't want to risk chemical castration.
/pol/ has infected my brain to the point where I can't even look myself in the mirror. I hate who I am. All I'm glad is that I haven't came out, because if I had I would have killed myself.
>>6249768
/femgen/ here, your secret is safe with us. come on over
>>6253929
You know, bicalutamide is a great antiandrogen that will not make you go sterile.
You should pop over to /femgen/ and ask us more about it if you want. Bicalutamide would be a good way for you to try it out, and see if you like it and want to keep going.
>>6246567
dumb nigger, you ruined your chances
I wanna have sex but can't find anyone and i dont know how to try harder
>>6260369
like i cant even give myself away
legit just asked two people if they wanna fuck
one was a eh if im not busy maybe and the other was yeah but i got sick and missed a nice weekend
>I could have started HRT anywhere between 11-14
>didn't because I didn't know what I was feeling
>now halfway through my 18th year of pain and qeued up for an endocrinologist appointment
>already practicing voice and makeup
>terrified to the bottom of my soul that I will never pass
>/lgbt/ makes the pain worse when I see nonpassing trans that started young
>/lgbt/ makes it hurt less when I see passing trans that started in late teens
>keep seeing nonpassing trans in news and on the internet, making me feel like the majority do not pass
>barely holding onto life as it is
If I never pass I'm probably going to give up and finally kill myself, seeing as I'm so close to doing it now.
I hate myself in a way that no one will ever understand
>>6260448
>Tfw had trans feelings since I was 8
>Tfw I didn't start HRT until 21 because conservative upbringing made me try to repress it
I find myself mixing my ex an odd amount lately. Five months with little contact besides a small exchange of emails and that's been it for a while. I don't feel right dating anyone because I feel this odd "blockage" when I try to get close to anyone. Sucks when I keep thinking of the sex we had... and the cuddling... and all that gay, happy shit.
I'm sure he's all good with a new and improved boyfriend anyway.
>>6246189
guys dont like their dicks touching usually.
i wish i could kill myself but i feel like i've put my family through enough and finding my body would finally push my mom over the edge. i feel like anyone who says 'it gets better' is full of shit and that's the least helpful piece of advice you can give someone having these thoughts. i'm stuck here until something kills me or my until my family dies and i don't have to worry about how my death will affect them
>>6261139
Same here, familia.
My parents are already spending so much money for me. I'd hate to waste it all by killing myself.
>>6247682
Your last paragraph is the best attitude to take.
I was in a situation like you almost word for word, and it was terrible for me. Once I stopped thinking about how important it was and just tried to make myself happy, everything became a ton better, and now I have a cute bf I met from just trying to better myself
>>6241836
A close friend of mine from college stopped texting me back after we graduated.
And it's normally fine anyone can not text me back for two weeks when they're that busy but I'm getting paranoid cause without school I'm never just going to run into him again. And he's brought up before that I have feelings for him but outside of close feelies I don't think that I do. I don't want to have sex with him at least.
We've been through a lot and I'll be sad if he never, ever gets back to me. But if I try to hard then I'm the pining loveless loser and it would validate to him that he needs to distance himself from me in the "he thinks I have a crush" scenario.
It's a text catch-22.
>>6261206
i had a bad opiate addiction and my parents sent me to rehab. i ended up coming out to them as trans while i was in recovery, and even though they accept me and love me, i probably haven't haven't had 15 minutes without a suicidal thought since getting out of rehab. if i'd just have killed myself before rehab i feel like i would've saved them money and a lot of suffering
>>6241836
Life isn't worth living & nothing will change that.
>>6261275
>>6261320
Well damn don't I feel like a dick for complaining about basically nothing.
Sorry pal
>>6261358
no need to feel like a dick for complaining. everybody's got different shit they're dealing with
I want to transition but not fully, I'm not a girl, I never will be, I don't want to live a lie , I don't want to live the truth everything is shit , I've been mentally broken since I was fken in year 6 , fuck depression fuck mtf fuck lgbt fuck this world Fock everything I hate this life I hate how I was born I hate how I was raised I hate myself I can't bring myself to genuinely love someone , no one has ever loved me , I have nothing to look forward to in
Life everything is fucking black hole void of anything . If end it all right now if i was okay with hurting those closest to me and fuck it soon that won't be enough , why couldn't I have been the girl in this pic why did my life have to be this way. Just honestly I'm so close to saying end it all cos nothing and I repeat nothing has even let me see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm beginning to believe Te lights only there cos I think it is. Sorry for the rant , hate me all you want doesn't matter anyway
OH MY GOD!
I really hate the Guardians of the Galaxy Movie! I watched it a year ago and everyone seemed to like it but it was sooooo shit
I lay awake at night sometimes because when I think about how people LOVE this movie adrenaline rushes into my body because I get so mad
seriously the main characters don't even deserve the word character because they don't have any. Also the tree dude just regrows as this tiny ass mofo after sacrificing himself making the sacrifice completely pointless
I can't
I need help
shit
fuck
>inhale<
okay, I'm done now
I'm Ace and I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I never see Asexual Pride floats in pride parades. I never seem to find any threads on here about being Ace or attempts to decloak. All the LGBT places seem to feel like they wouldn't know how to help an Ace.
I feel so alone. I've lost contact with my best mate, my one-and-only ex lives on the other side of town, which is a 3 hour train ride and none of my het acquaintances can help. Is it wrong of me to want a companion akin to how the Doctor and Donna were?
I realized I was Ace when I realized that I was 27, on my way to being a wizard and being fine with that fact. My one-and-only romantic relationship went slowly. We never got past kissing. My justification was that I didn't want to push her further than she was willing to go and that when she was ready, I would be there.
I'm probably to blame for my little brother's mental health issues. All throughout our childhoods I would belittle him and keep him down. I would lie to our parents and get away with it. When he saw how easily it came to me, he tried to imitate me. Now he is known as being an untrustworthy liar by the whole family. I was always better at him at everything and I'm not the kind of person to hold back. He has massive seöf-esteem issues now. He is a shut-in, high school drop-out and apparently depressive.
And the probably most despicable part: I still don't care. I'm mostly just annoyed by his presence when I try to enjoy my time with my parents. I sometimes wish he would kill himself or at least get into a deadly accident. He would be gone and I'd get pity.
>>6241836
I wish every stupid faggot would stop trying to steal my husband from me. Fucking homewreckers.
>>6247859
You'll just have to keep it a secret for the rest of your life then.
>>6260508
If they are gay or bi they most certainly do.
But then again, DP must be very painful at first. It's hot to fantasise about, though.
My confession :
I want to have two twins fuckbuddies that I'd visit every now and then with my (currently non-existent) bf.
Also, I'm in Europe and sexting with an Aussie on skype.
I'm too old to be here, and I've been on here for 9 years. I won't find any happiness on 4chan, and I know it. I got lucky with the zeemaps, bit that was... almost three years ago now. I should've left 4chan for good that one time I took a break from it. I should be over this place by now. Most of you are fine people, but I have a decade or more on some of you. It's pathetic to hang out with teenagers at my age.
I hate myself. I hate waking up in this body. I hate that the only social interaction I have apart from work is you chodes. I just want a strong boyfriend to lift with me and buy a house with and raise children with. But I'll never be happy. I poison any relationship I try to be in. I just want to end it so often, because all I have to look forward to is working and paying bills for the next forty years. I would've killed myself a long time ago had it not been for my nephew and niece. But that made me realize I want kids, and as I've said, I am toxic to any relationship I've been in.
I'm broken, and it's too late to fix me.
I wish i had done better by my brothers. I was too young to understand their depression and now two of them are dead. I still sometimes feel guilty that i 'didnt spend enough time' or 'didnt reach out enough', so I tried with my younger brother, but his issues are so violent and dangerous that I literally could only spend so much time around him before I had to leave or avoid him. Now he lives alone on state disability raging at the walls inside his apartment. I wish i could help him and I know these prescription drugs are only fucking up his brain beyond repair.
Im lucky to still be alive desu, tho my reckless behavior has landed me on probation and an ankle bracelet, so its all I can do to obey speed limits and 'be good', without crossing my own set of ideals and ideas of right and wrong.
I wanted to move out of the country before this happened, thinking I would be happier in Europe, but I stayed for my family and now I'm stuck here because as a felon I will have a very hard time getting a passport and 'permission' to leave after ive paid my debt to society.
Im beyond the emo stage of 'i hate myself', because the only path to success is to stay positive. Somehow. Somehow...
When i was a teenager i tried to be a silent emotionless robot to hide the fact that i was really confused and upset because i always wanted to be the gril
Then when i was 17 i grew a shitty beard and lifted some heavy things and repressed as hard as i could and it eventually all collapsed spectacularly. Months of complete insanity in terms of how much i freaked and cried and wanted to die, emotions were all over the place, experienced intense dysphoria, scoured my mind down to toddler age trying to find answers. Then i made it out, just decided to be gay. Then i started taking hormones. (call it 'femboy'. Hrt but still repressing) Now i'm 20, still on hrt, and i've been having a really hard time lately and all these doubts are coming back, i'm freaking out a little.
I'm not even out as gay and im trapped
>been over 7 months since I was dating someone for the first and only time
>I broke it off after the first time we had sex because I'm a coward
>bumped into him a number of times around campus with the awkward small talk - though not unpleasant
>fast forward to this Monday
>I've since reverted back to robotism after attempting to transcend normiedom during my first few months at university
>look like trash; illfitting clothes, straggled hair, general uncomfortable demeanor and facial position
>pass this guy in the street
>he was holding hands with who I presume is his girlfriend
>I could see a glimmer of pity and smugness in his eyes
At this point I'd usually scream 'FUCKING BISEXUALS REEEEEEEEE' - but I have no one to blame but myself. He was the only guy I've met so far at uni who actually showed some passion and I took it for granted. He kept his chin up and kept going whilst I retreated back into being a social recluse.
I am trash.
Any time certain friends say anything dominant I get really REALLY turned on. It's becoming a problem because one of them is legit abusive to his partners and the other is a fat angry probably abusive asshole. And when I'm horny I lose all self respect and think that being treated like shit outside of sex would be amazing.
I'm going to end up getting myself killed.
I'm a 22yo virgin and I fantasize about laying on bed next to another guy every night when I go to sleep. Sex sounds fucking nice but more than anything I long for feeling a connection with someone. I'm fairly attractive and get plenty of messages on Grindr but I never go through with anything because I'm a pussy.
Another thing I need to get off my chest is I'm a lot more attracted to older looking guys (my friend's dads for example) than people my own age and it makes me feel disgusted with myself.
My partner has all kinds of kinks and I'm starting to share a bunch of the weirder ones like spanking.
This is my first relationship and I am afraid of turning into some weird kinky slut.
>>6241836
My girlfriend is the perfect romantic partner but because she's asexual, I feel like I need a sexual partner. I have tried suggesting this to her but she refuses to allow me to have another partner. I accept her as she is but why should I be denied sex? I can't bring myself to cheat on her cause I know that's wrong. I hate the sexual urges I get and I'd be better off without them.
>>6241836
I'm upset that I might have to pretend to like Sanders to appease a boy I'm really into. Still willing to do it, since Sanders is toast soon. And the boy is fucking perfect across the board
>>6265680
Convert him, Anon.
I shouldn't never had seen Quantum of Solace
>>6241836
I'm terrified I'm never going to amount to anything, the thought of being a loser consumes me so much I feel no connection towards any progress I've made, or any sense of accomplishment towards the things I've done... the anxiety behind it makes me completely neurotic about work, school, relationships, everything - and to top it all off a miserable sack of shit to be around.
I don't know how to fix this part of me, it's so fuckin ingrained in me that there's no chance of changing it.
>>6265711
It's honestly not a big deal to me. Maybe at a later time. Trump would have to scale down his rhetoric to more realistic levels and Jeb! bullying first anyways. Which I hope he does, since he might lose the election otherwise.
I like Trump -- love him for his persona, neutral on his politics. I'm glad he's not anti-gay at least, but his mode of nationalism is a bit naive and his promises are all going to be broken, including most of the immigration talking points. We're unlikely to have a wall. He needs to act more statesmanlike. He needs to spend more time doing what Sanders did and actually talk about policy in detail. He can't win on JUST a negative anti-Hillary campaign with his current negatives. I mean, if it's gonna be a Republican, I'm glad it's him. By far the best candidate of any party that's left.
I still think he's next POTUS and I know at worst it'll be a sort of George H.W. Bush presidency. Could be a Reagan or a first term Nixon if he's good. Probably too divisive to be an Eisenhower. Far too unliked as well
I hate how all the beautiful readily availible mtf trans people in atlanta are escorts and that anytime i try to look to a relationship people treat me like some sort of disgusting as neckbeard 40yr old creeper. i'm only 20, i just know what i want and accept what i like.
I think that I might be a lesbian, but I have a boyfriend. I've been struggling with these thoughts since middle school, but have always told myself that I am bisexual or just inexperienced and awkward around women. I had a crush on best friend in highschool, but after something bad happened between us I am really awkward around other girls so I've had a few boyfriends. All soft, virgins, that let me take the "lead' in the relationship. I've never liked sex unless it was getting oral, and I usually close my eyes and think of hentai. I just don't know if I've just had shitty lovers or if it's me.
I think I am just afraid to admit what I am to myself because I don't want to unfurl my life from my bf and it's scary starting over and figuring myself out. I don't want to use someone as my experiment or throw away a good thing over something that might not be there, but I can't stop looking at /lgbt/ and googling "am I lesbian" over and over I feel like I'm crazy. I just want to be normal and not think about this shit.
>>6265781
First term Nixon was good shit yo. I'm amazed anyone even reads back that far. You teach American government or history?
As for me, not a legbutt per se, but I do have a story that really changed my opinion and attitude toward all of you. (Wall o'text inbound.)
>Grew up in conservative community in California, full of white people fleeing the major cities.
>Played high school football for all four years as guard, then center.
>Quarterback and me are total bro's, run a bunch of sneak and trick plays during games to get us that last one or two yards for a first down.
>Also hang out during school, he helps me get my reading skills up to gradelevel, recommends some classic fantasy. Dragon riders of Pern, Lord of the Rings, that type of stuff.
>I'm stocky in general and look like walking evidence that humans and neanderthals interbred sometime in the ancient past. Nickname was "Fridge."
>QB is tall and wiry with arm like cannon, so strong he periodically dislocated his own shoulder throwing passes. Nickname "Timezone," cause that's all you had to be in for him to get you the ball.
>I need not explain the kind of gay assgrabby shit that went down in that locker room. We were only slightly less gay than the water polo team.
>Strictly nohomo of course, good bastion of republican right thinking that we were in.
>Second half of senior year comes around, find note in locker. Football locker. Someone likes me! Some girl actually went to the trouble of stuffing a note in my football locker! They want to meet me next to concession stand near the field after school.
>I rush over after last bell, but no one is there. After a while my bro the QB comes, looks kind of funny, like he's distracted or something.
>We make small talk for a while, he gives me his copy of the Silmarillion, since I'm done with LOTR and want more.
>We talk a while more, me not putting two and two together till he makes this scrunched up face and blurts out that he likes me.
Contd.
>>6266619
>ohfuckimnotgay.
>ohfuckhesgay.
>his parents will flay him alive if they heard what he just said.
>he can see my expression, and his becomes this horrible mask of horror and fear. He rolled the dice HARD, and he lost, he must be thinking.
>he’s right, I’m not gay, not even bi. I’ve got a metric fuckton of maxim and sports illustrated under my bookcase to prove it.
>But he is my best friend in the whole wide world.
>I’m still holding his copy of the Silmarillion in my hand. I think of Sam and Frodo, of Gimli and Legolas.
>I don’t even know what I’m doing at this point, but I reach out and pick him up in this hug and tell him he’s my super best friend in the whole world, and that I can’t be his boyfriend but I still love him very much and if he wants a date we can go on one, but in a different town. And then I kiss him. Because Frodo and Sam kissed right? So why the fuck not?
Never really shared this story, but the world changed a lot since then, so I don’t feel bad about telling it now. Not really sure what happened to him after college, but I know he got a lit degree. I hope you’re doing well, wherever you are.
>>6266619
>I'm amazed anyone even reads back that far. You teach American government or history?
I have a minor interest in Economics due to my larger one in Mathematics and especially Statistics (I'm watching these elections closely and seeing how even small events affect betting odds. Trump hit his shortest odds ever today, and I have a feeling he'll be 3/2 by September)
So I make an effort to follow politics now, especially since around Nixon since he seems to be the first of a long chain of more stereotypically "modern" presidents that parallel each other in philosophy and presence, other than maybe Reagan who seems to me a very different kind of Imperial president. The presence of a Russian Tzar and a unique set of martial and economic ideas.
Teaching history would be super cool but my ambition would get in the way and I'd feel unfulfilled
>>6266619
>>6266629
You're a good friend. I wish there were more people in the world like you.
It was probably really hard for your friend to confess his feelings for you and when it was not reciprocated, you handled the situation really well.
Wish me luck legbutt. I'm going to confess to my friend so I can get this period of my life over with. I need to move on and although I can just wait until he graduates uni, I don't want any regrets.
>>6244548
>22
>Ftm
Kek... that's not even a horrible age for mtfs to start... in all reality there's no cut off point for ftms like there is for mtfs.. testosterone is a hell of a drug
>>6263960
I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, minus the whole being attracted to older looking guys.
Every single night I go to sleep imagining being next to him. I keep myself up for hours thinking of what it's like to tell someone you love them, and to actually mean it. I've a hard time saying it casually because the word means a lot to me. I think it's used too often and meant too little.
And I agree, sex would be nice but it's all of the smaller, more intimate things about a relationship that ruins me.
Like holding hands, kissing their neck and running my fingers through their hair.
>>6266629
That was a really sweet story.
You sound like a real catch. No wonder he had a crush on you. It's too bad, we need more guys like you on our team.
I have been telling people my story today. I'm realizing how sad it is. I am not saddened by this: I am enraged. I have had every single thing stacked against me and have been robbed of things everyone takes for granted. It's like everyone expects me to give up and walk away, to just be a cute little cis.
To all the people doing this to me: Fuck you.
I'm not giving up. Ever. I will be myself even if it takes my entire life to get to where I want to be. I also will do so with care and grace. No foolish mistakes will be made. I won't become another example you can hold up to oppress others like me. And as to others like me? I'll help them as best as I can.
And in closing: FUCK. YOU.
That is all.
I was able to start my Transition at 14, pass flawlessly.
One of my HoN friends was having a bad day, told them I used to be where they are and that it's not hopeless etc etc.
They told me to go fuck myself, and spit in my face and stalked me until I moved out of state, by that time though they had slashed my parents wheels, ripped off my cloths infront of people multiple times, and constantly tries to fight me to make me look like the bad guy for fighting the ugly tranny. They kept getting away with it too because "They mentally unstable because of their bi-polarness".
I now go out of my way to tell all HoNs to kill themselves and inform them that the chances of them making it are zero to non, just anything really to shut down the hopes and dreams of a Bi-polar hormone imbalanced faggot.
stop calling people attracted to, among others, post pubertal children, pedophiles. anyone at or past puberty is by definition sexually attractive. finding them attractive is NORMAL. period. end of story. women act like we are monsters for doing so, but they forget that they were themselves sexual beings at that age. im not saying woody allen is a saint. im just saying the attraction is normal.
>>6244578
im not ugly, but man, ive thought about it, and i had skin cancer on my nose that could have deformed me. it sucks to not be beautiful in this society, and i hate that, but not as much as you. we are way too beauty centric, its shitty, its evil.
>am 22 hate everything
>could have started HRT at 15
>told my mom and everything in an email
>next day acted like it never happened and went on her email and deleted it
>Year later she asked me about an email i wrote
>told her i never sent an email
>parents divorce could tell long before it was official
>have feeling like it was sparked by the email
>parents become overly protective of me
>am 17 turning 18 in a few months got into collage
>parents treat me differently then my brother and sister
>cant tell why could be cuz they want me on there "side"
> was a really really messy divorce like really bad
>became master of bullshit telling them whatever they want to hear
>dropped out could not keep getting up in the morning going to some place my parents wanted me to go
>tell them im still going its 4 hours away they dont talk at all so i can tell 2 different stories
>feelings get worse and worse i wake up to go to sleep
> look at the time i should be graduating this year obv i am not
>bullshit that i just dont want to make it a thing
>brother is a drug addict sister wants law school she looks up to me
>MFW i fucked up my life cuz of one mistake i made when i was 15
>>6245525
some of us who are not trannies can actually imagine the pain. its so easy, but people resist. its like being in jail, right?
I feel like it's not a matter if I will kill myself but when.
>>6246584
there is only one way to address this, aside from expressing it, which is very healthy. you will eventually have to identify that part of you which IS female (we are all hermaphrodites at the psychic level, males have a female soul, the anima, with women having a male soul, the animus. look it up. is it true? cant prove it, but it works for me. im male, the more i acknowledge my feminine side, the more i can get along with women. still, would love to be a pure male and fuck thousands of women silly, have all those cute submissive types go for me.
>>6247615
maybe you are a bit of both, somewhat bisexual, or asexual, or pansexual. why even define yourself. you dont call your foot "gay" or "republican". why should you "BE" anything? you simply exist, nature doesnt have an explanation, only patterns.
>>6242673
tumblr LEAVE
>>6247859
do you want to go back, and if so do you want to get to know the masseuse? are you having romantic feelings for him? dont judge yourself, try to notice how you feel aside from societal or family judgements. only then can you be at peace, and make decisions based on your inner sense of peace. leave, stay, come out, only you can know the truth, there is no external truth.
> Be me
> Get once night with the guy you absolutely love that makes you feel like you matter in this shit hole of a world
> After that night you know you'll never have him because he's in an open relationship for the summer and lives 4 hours away from you.
>Swears he won't live you, becomes hard to even talk to but swears you matter to him.
>See every guy in his light and compares them to him.
>Depression sets in, death seems like the best option but you're too much of a pussy to do anything about it.
>Repeat every night because the alcohol you drink is the only thing that allows you to even cry in this horrible horrible world.
>>6241836
My father is a human train wreck since he retired. My significantly older sister told me that he probably would have killed himself by overworking if I hadn't come around.
Now I have to watch as he rots away like a human potato knowing I'm the only reason he still has will left to live. But secretly I resent him for being a toxic human being who let his personality get super affected by medication for his countless diseases.
I hate that I love my dad.
>>6253963
i enjoy pol, and i have avoided brain infection. all of existence is Maya, divine play, nothing is real. we are drawn to Pol cause we want to see our full selves, which includes all that darkness. its ok to see yourself, and you are so much more than you think you are. you are literally everything.
My parents split up when i was about 8, 9 or 10, cant quite remember. Mother married my now stepfather who has, with my mother, abused me for 5 years. Came *this* close to suicide so many times during those years, not helped by the fact that i crossed a bridge everyday to and from school. Finally after those 5 years I negotiated to stay at my fathers house full time, only to find out he was abusive as well except its physical as well.
Still living at my fathers, and have horrible memories of him and my mother+stepfather everyday.
I'm also self medding under my fathers nose, paying for it with whatever money i can scrounge up. If i get caught self medding im going to be in so much shit with my family.
I've been dangerously underweight for the past few years. My BMI dropped to 13 and i dont know how to put on weight properly and i cant get proffesional treatment because im worried self medding will be discovered.
People at my school constantly give me shit for being trans or atleast looking it as i havent told anyone.
>>6268306
I agree. Some girl at a club called a guy a pedo for hitting on her, knly because he was older than her. Everyone in the club was 21+!
As a queer cismale in a mostly arrogant, old, white, republican suburb, ive been called a pervert and a freak and a pedo since i was FOURTEEN...I had to go out with older guys because it was 'too weird' to pursue boy my own age in high school, id just get stomped and called a freak, a fag, a pedo. .mostly behind my back but i have some good friends who tell me when someones talking shit.
I think its a real problem that causes incredible anxiety among healthy adults and older teens who accept their attraction to teenagers. Most adults dont want to abuse or hurt anyone. But stigmatizing us as pedos is just the Millenial way for homophobes to call us fags.
Maybe ill just sue the next person who calls me a pedo, which will accomplish nothing.
So to repeat your point, attraction to a teenager is not only normal, its a sign of a healthy and normally developed sexual adult.
>>6241836
I'm an unstable bislut and need meds before I'm too old to have innocent fun.
it's been a while since my nihilism is starting to become a conviction and an established fact for me,like I knew that life does not make sense but j i've never paid attention to the emotional equivalence of it.
last saturday I took some LSD and 4 beers thinking it add somes nice sweets dimensions to the last X-men that I saw that night, it was pretty good, I liked a lot even if i'm not that much a blockbuster fan , then I left the cinema, it was full of people outside in the city and when I live at that time there was a huge international festival, I saw all these people and I have finally felt the real sadness of what is life and the insignificance our real poor situation as poor animals, the big fuckin void digging in my emotions, ( it sound like the antichrist of the hippy ideology )
I was also sad for myself to be so lonely and not even being able to fulfill my bestial and elemental goal as : to find a partner. and sad for the miserable turd i was for being abandoned by my exes .
I ve never really wanted to confront this, maybe because in this period I feel that I need some moral support but it's been almost 2 years since I am single and it starts to piss me off, i know it's fuckin nothing and those emotions don't matter ,i'm not even a moaner person , like it's the very first time that i'm telling this .I just felt the fuckin need to finaly externalize it.
Also I had a fucked up awake dream in 60's animè when i was tripping , where my tongue was yelling at me because I'm not doing some efforts to find a girl.
(i think it was my subconscious yelling at me : i need da puss boss )
I just want to say that my girlfriend who killed herself still haunts me to this day... it has been 6 years and I have never felt the same since
>>6266334
I feel like I'm in the same boat in terms of anxiety and slightly obsessive thinking. I wish there was a network for people in the process of sorting out their sexuality to flirt with each other, like for "practice," to build up confidence, to see how it feels, and to not be leading anyone on who is understandably frustrated by experimenting folk. Not a dating site, just anxious baby gays/bis flirting with the same sex for the first time or some shit. I dunno if I'm explaining myself well but yeah. I just wanna flirt with girls and have girls flirt with me without needing to explain "hey this is very new and I'm not ready to do anything but I know I like girls and I hope they like me" ;A;
>>6268365
You probably won't read this but I'm sure your dad appericates you a lot.
>>6246895
>>6246956
Update: I did tell her and things went surprisingly well she says she really doesn't care that I'm transgender and she really like me for who I am :)
>>6268313
>am 17
b&
capcha: 404 lel
>>6241836
I feel gay/bi alot of the time, but i have no idea how to go about exploring it or how to harness it. honestly sometimes i revert back to my "normalcy" and feel no homosexuality at all. Sometimes the gay/bi feelings make me feel terrible and tear my insides apart.Sometimes still, i'm totally okay with them. Everyone at my work assumes i'm a faggot, but i've only ever mildly experimented with friends. Last summer however, I had an... Explosively, awkward drug induced encounter that made me question alot about who I was, it's manifested entirely on my skin now, and the people around me have picked up on it. They've decided to put me into a box of what they think it means, ruining the ability to be myself because their box doesn't feel right around me.
I've never been able to be 110% comfortable/have sex with anyone, and i think that it may all come because i was sexually abused when i was a child... Most likely by my mother... So basically my mental health is falling apart because of all this and my life and relationships are following suit. I just want a female to love, but my ego has me detained. My anxiety has me in bonds. And my insecurities rule my life. I realize I need an immense amount of therapy, but i'm such a lazy good for nothing fuck, I'll probably just turn to drugs and liquor and suffer every day at work looking like the biggest, quivering insecure faggot ever lmao it's lit senpai. - A boy who didn't die, so he must be a little stronger.
I've managed to isolate you away from all of our mutual friends. My design of making a small issue and watching you blow it into a big one was too easy. To watch you walk away from your closest friends, the ones who supported you when you came out, had no place to stay, when all your previous exs cheated on you, father disowned you, etc.
It made it even easier to round up our mutual friends to my side, after all you willingly walked away from us. Even more so when your newly found on/off again abusive ex made it a point to bar you from speaking to us and made it clear how much he doesn't like any of us even before this started.
Strange isn't it? All your friends told you that you were repeating the cycle all over again, and getting into another bad and abusive relationship. I mean poor you, I wonder what its like to have him put his friends before you, where no one knows you exist. Hell everyone knows he's the kind of trash that bullied people in school for being gay but repressed it.
It's a sweet taste, to know you've burned your bridges with your friends and now all you have left in life is an abusive piece of white trash who's only claim to fame is minimum wage and a cool "bro" pick up truck. It's totally math4math as he lives in his parents house and in the closet.
But that's not even the best part. You've failed. You've just lost your foothold into your career. And now you're over 1000 miles away lingering, waiting to come home, trapped with no contact with the outside waiting to come back home since you couldn't make it in your career.
To think you're going to come home and have to struggle to get another paltry wage slave job, no health insurance, no career prospects, no real friends, an insecure boyfriend who you burnt bridges for, etc.
It's bitter sweet. Mostly because I know what you and I could have done together even though you threw that away. I do love you, despite it all.
>>6279777
shut up niq
I think women are legitimately annoying.
>>6279777
Start therapy sooner rather than later. You deserve quality of life and mental stability. If the people around you aren't treating you well, don't follow in their footsteps- help yourself. Therapy is a really amazing thing, I can't recommend it highly enough.
I'm sorry that you're struggling so much. I hope you make an appointment! It is absolutely not inevitable that you turn to drugs and alcohol, don't believe the voice in your head that says it's all over for you.
>>6279958
That's because the society impresses a certain fucking annoying set of behaviors on them. This results in almost assembly-line bitches: all alike and full of neuroses from forcing themselves to conform. The ones who don't conform are forced to hide lest they be attacked mercilessly by other females. You'll never find them because they don't come out. You'll only find more worthless, annoying carbon copies.
I know this firsthand from being born with a vagina and expected to conform. I now hate every single carbon copy, fearful, broken "woman" I see. I can think of only three females that ever commanded my respect and all of them were forced into hiding by the bitches.
Fuck women (but not literally because that's a bad idea- child support and alimony forever).
>>6280340
Yeah, I agree. You do see this behavior wherever you go, with women expecting other women to conform. I think it's odd and disturbing how most of them are genuinely okay with acting just like the rest of them.
I don't *hate* women per se, and certainly not like I used to, but there are certain female behaviors that I don't care for.
Like when it comes to 'nerdy' women. Most of them hide it for fear of looking 'nerdy', which wouldn't be a problem if a lot of women weren't absolute cunts about it. And this kind of thing extends beyond that into other issues, like taste. Women hate it when other womens' tastes are weird and different, and they expect them all to like One Direction or something.
I think it's a combination between the stupidity and vapidness of most women, the stupidity and vapidness of most normie guys (so Chads basically), the need to hide their natures for fear of creepy nerds hitting on them or something, and the media. Not even *just* the mainstream media, but even in a lot of subcultures, like goths, emos, whatever, what-have-you, women are expected to be a certain 'way' within that subculture.
Also a lot of them just seem to be naturally kind of mean and cunt-ish for no real reason.
It's not right that so many gays hate boylovers.
>>6279958
I'm lonely even when I am surrounded by friends and family. I have a crush on a straight guy because he gave me attention. I have a feeling that I will leave this world by suicide. I'm going to die alone.
People look at me and think I'm happy because of all my accomplishments but all I want is a strong bf who takes me out on dates and holds my hand. I want to be his little spoon and support him through every endeavor. I want to grow old with him and maybe adopt a child.
The closest thing I have to something like this is my straight friend who takes me out to lunch. I feel disgusting seeing these little hang outs as something more when he probably doesn't. Every time he hugs me, messes with my hair, walks me back to my place, or shares food with me, I feel like everything is right in the world. I want to take him to this fair for one last hang out before I confess my feelings and soil our friendship.
It hurts thinking about it but I need to be mentally stable for my job next semester for when I have to deal with other people's problems. I have the whole summer to be depressed but I think this is for the best.
>>6280444
Didn't mean to reply to you
>>6280432
>Like when it comes to 'nerdy' women. Most of them hide it for fear of looking 'nerdy', which wouldn't be a problem if a lot of women weren't absolute cunts about it. And this kind of thing extends beyond that into other issues, like taste. Women hate it when other womens' tastes are weird and different, and they expect them all to like One Direction or something.
Samefag here, let me add to this:
Even with nerdy women who are more open about their interests, you get a sense that they still don't have much knowledge on certain subjects, and they don't have much interest in learning more about certain games or whatever, wanting to remain casuals. I think they do this because there's this understanding that if you know a lot about something, like say, a game, you'll look like a really hardcore 'nerd' and those are weirdos. Not to mention the fear of judgment from others, they don't want to look like nerds.
I think that a lot of women just generally don't have much self-awareness.
>>6280456
It's alright. Hang in there, by the way.
I'm 26. I came out as trans at 16 and started HRT at 17. I've lived most of my adult life as a woman. In the past year, I've done a complete 180 and started living in boymode again. I switched to a unisex name, got a faggy asymmetrical haircut and started wearing androgynous clothes.
Tbqh I haven't felt this comfortable in social situations in a long time. I like letting people make their own decisions about my gender. I don't feel nearly as much pressure to fake being a woman all the time. Sometimes people mistake me for a dyke, sometimes they think I'm a gay guy. I just go with whatever.
Part of the reason I did this though was because I felt completely broken and ugly as a woman. And its not like I didn't pass. In fact I hadn't been misgendered in years. I was just painfully aware of the fact that I'm like, a 5/10 chick at best and I don't see the point in being an ugly member of your target gender. I make a much more attractive fag, so thats what I did.
I'm still hrt, but living the /femgen/ life and mentally I feel I'm in a much better place now that I'm not worrying 24/7 whether or not someone's going to clock me. It just doesn't matter anymore.
I don't even know what I am. Even as a kid I really liked and was excited by the thought of boys being turned to girls but as I grew up I started actually masturbating to that. I thought it was just a weird fetish for basically forever but thinking it through I actually do deeply want to be a woman. If I think of the process of becoming a woman I get aroused and this makes it seem like your average case of AGP but if I just yearn and daydream of already being a woman I don't get turned on at all.
Of course none of this really matters since unlike a lot of posters on this board I actually don't stand a chance of passing via current tech. For there to be any hope for me technology would have to advance a great deal. I don't know if we'll get there in my lifetime and that terrifies me. In the end I just repress everything and focus on programming. Hopefully I won't snap.
>>6280913
>tranny did it out of attention
who would've thought
T removed from lgbt when?
>>6280959
>women don't accept other women
>muh patriarchy
>>6280967
They are all pressured to act that way. Women have drank the kool-aid and are part of the system. Patriarchy was never about just the men doing it on purpose. It was always about most women also buying into it and perpetuating strict gender roles.
>>6246567
FIND HIM, TELL HIM THIS STORY
DO IT NOW
I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT'S BEEN, HOW FAR AWAY HE IS, HOW MUCH HE HATES YOU, JUST DO IT
>>6241836
I've got a lot on my mind and someone else's views would be very appreciated. I'm a bisexual cis female by the way.
>come home one day off of work, get a call from my sister
>"mom's in the hospital with a kidney stone and blood infection, it looks serious."
>freak out and drive to the hospital
>she's not looking too good
>try my best to comfort home but when i get home I start to cry pretty bad and I start drinking
>I drink an entire bottle of wine and I'm blitzed at that point (I'm pretty lightweight)
>have this friend that I've considered my best friend since I was around 14 (19 now if you're wondering age)
>never been drunk around her
>decided to call her up on Skype
>again, although this isn't justifiable, I am extremely intoxicated and filled with grief and worry at this point
>call her and after that I completely blanked out but woke up to cum and tissues everywhere
>be also in a very committed relationship of 2 1/2 years and friend is very well aware of that
>wake up to a text saying "Take another shot ;)"
>friend is two years younger than me
1/???
>>6283792
>freak out but think there's no way -that- could've happened
>even if it was just phone/cam? sex on skype I still feel that's its cheating but keep it from my boyfriend who've I've been in a long distance relationship with
>I've actually had feelings for her but I just feel..Like I'm still in shock. I still don't know how to feel other than hurt.
>guessing I said something real dumb to egg her on or maybe, just maybe nothing actually did happen which is what I'm hoping
>get a call later that day from sister again
>mom is getting transferred to a different hospital
>again get struck with grief and drink again
>have the benefit of the doubt and hope and pray nothing actually did happen
>I mean she's been my best friend for years, if she was like this I would've found out, right? I would've known, right?
>Wrong. Get drunk and wake up to the same scenario
>I feel all groggy and sore but for the life of me I can't remember anything at all again
>I try talking to her regularly and she's acting like nothing happened
2/???
>>6246567
Self-hating niggers are the worst.
>>6280959
I actually agree with you there. Women are annoying but it's also mens' fault partially for keeping them that way.
>>6283815
>nothing about our conversation changes and all seems normal
>I know something happened and I try to bring it up
>conversation went along the lines of this. I'll call her T
> "So uh T, did something happened last night?"
>call goes silent for a few seconds and then she speaks again, her voice real low
>"Take another shot."
>she laughs and quickly changes the topic
>kinda freaking the fuck out but keeping a poker face
>I bring it up again but beat around the bush again and again, not saying anything along the lines of "did we have phonesex last night?" even though I'm well aware I should've been more direct
>I knew that we did but I just didn't want to see it
>Being the huge dumb idiot I am I try forming a plan on how I can keep this lowkey from my boyfriend until I figure out what really happened the past two nights
>decide to get drunk one more time to see if I can remember anything at all but this time I make sure another friend is in call
>other friend is a male and I've also known him for years
>other friend is a bit of a schemer but I felt like I could trust him
>that and the two don't really know each other yet so there's no way she'd have the confidence to pull anything
>or so I thought
>get blitzed again with the intention of remembering the past two nights
>again, I know this plan was stupid but with the shock of this and the grief I couldn't really think the straightest
>go into call and all is well
>we're actually having fun and things get fun
>get intoxicated once more
>but this time I didn't black out
>I was also on medication that night (tl;dr my vagoo hates me and so I take special pain pills even when I'm not on period)
>meds and the alcohol didn't mix but I was able to remember
>even though they've met before only briefly every time I went afk they where scheming
>without going into much detail we all had phone sex
Just putting this out there, I didn't remember any this in the morning but slowly got bits and pieces back over time
3/??
>>6283887
>after they fell asleep from what my boyfriend told me I called him and was sobbing and I told him everything
>The day after I start really remembering shit
>I remembered that they coerced me into it and was extremely unwilling
>still come to terms that I did it even though I was pretty shit faced
As I stated earlier I didn't remember much in the morning, just that and talking to the bf afterwards
>feel very hurt afterwards
>start to wonder if friends only like me because I'm attractive and they just want an easy bone
>start to feel
>vengeful
>T must've known I had feelings for her but I don't remember when I could've told her that
>assume I must've told her while I was drunk and leave it at that
>confront her about it and also the other friend
>cut ties with other friend
>with her though I can't out of we have this mutual friend who we consider our best friend as well
>get real pissed at her but each and every time
>she just fakes a moan and I lose it
>every
>single
>time
>I know that they're fake but I can't help it
>start to think what the fuck happened during those 3 nights
>we continue as friends and occasionally teases me with moans and what not
>absolutely hate that I can't fight it and end up trying my best not to be gay
The ride's not over yet 4/???
>>6283923
>she knows I can't control myself and does it to get her way with things
>start to resent her
>yet still I can't fight -it-
>remember she really liked this one guy
>add him on Facebook and start to message him
>we hit it off really well and we become really good friends really fast
>she grows envious because she doesn't even have the balls to talk to him
>I'm basically planning to steal him from her out of revenge
The stealing him from her is going pretty well actually. He's decently attractive but I don't really like him. Boyfriend knows of the situation and supports me, but absolutely hates T and the other friend. I don't know if what I did was right or not but at this point I don't care. Mom ended up being okay too if you're wondering. I know my thought process wasn't the best and I know that a lot of this sounds pretty fictitious. I honestly really wish it was. I wish that friday never happened and that I didn't get drunk in the first place and I could go back to being regular friends with her but instead I'm mindfucked all over the place and out for revenge. Best thing about it is that she's not even gay so it's not like I had a chance with her to start if I wanted to take that route, she just likes the dominance of it is what she's told me.
5/5
>>6280478
>I think that a lot of women just generally don't have much self-awareness.
That or they are so pressured by society to conform to being "girls" that they are scared to look at themselves. Those who do suddenly see how they are shallow, empty shells tend to break leading to femnazis and other nasty stuff. It's rare to see anyone have an awakening outside of high school without turning from the horror. Many also feel that past school their lives are gone. Some women think it's game over at 25. Most women live to be at least 60. It's that bad.
>>6284443
>Some women think it's game over at 25.
Man that's actually REALLY sad. Got to say as a man, it feels so good knowing that if anything, my attractiveness and worth will actually increase as I get older. I've already felt it. I could be doing so much better but I've been generally on an upswing since the end of high school.
Meanwhile with women, especially white women, they age like fucking milk. You really start to see it too and you can't really believe your eyes. But you start to see these women who used to be gorgeous get uglier and fatter as they age and have kids. And then you get an insight into the female psyche that you didn't see before, that with women, it's all a race against the social clock to have children and/or get married as soon as possible, else they'll become an old maid.
It must suck to be a woman who used to be attractive in high school or college, then their age catches up with them, they never went to college, they end up poor as fuck, etc. You can see why so many women end up as cunts then.
I hit on one of my best friends last night and ended up passing out drunk at his feet. Tfw no qt Hawaiian bf
There's a lot of shit I'm dealing with because of this weird love triangle I had
>be bisexual living in a house with 2 gay guys and a straight guy for my last 2 years of college
>the two gay guys, G and T hated each other and just never got along
>G was the super twinky flamboyant and promiscuous kind of gay while T was the chubby beard, beer, quiet kind of gay. I was the nerdy, smart, muscular STEM kind of bi.
>End of 2014 G asked me out, I was excited and said yes because that was the first time anyone ever asked me out
>Have secret relationship hidden from T and straight guy
>Fool around in school buildings to avoid getting caught. Fucked twice before our first date
>Beginning of 2015 G brings home some freshman from one of his classes. I call him out saying he's cheating but he says it's not cheating because we "weren't yet official"
>Get pissed and don't talk to him for a long time
>G's boytoy is as insufferable and twinky as he is
>I bond with T while G and his boytoy bang for half a year until they broke up in mid-2015. We bond over how much we hate both of them. We would cuddle and watch anime, bake, or play video games together but we never did anything sexual
>Start really liking T but T was just so emotionally unavailable that I never knew if he liked me back.
>Mid-2015 I start fooling around with G again out of mutual lonliness
>Realize I got myself into an abusive relationship with him because he took advantage of the fact that I'm desperate
>T finds out about the relationship and treats me like shit even though we were good friends in the past.
>end of 2015 G claims he wants something long term and I say no
>G brings home some asian twink who's worse than boytoy
>I panic about having to suffer from living with G and his other boytoy that I cave and ask him out, knowing that he brought that asian kid over to get me jealous
>>6285377
>Friends warn me that G is manipulative and I know it. You can’t win an argument against him and he’ll always play victim. I was checkmated into this relationship.
>Get back with G, keeping it a secret relationship
>G doesn't want it to be secret
>But I do. He asks why and I say "to respect the people in this house. If any of you two dated, I would hate it”
>I knew deep down it was because I didn't want T to find out because I didn’t want T to think badly of me for being with G
>I’m not a real sexual person andG keeps treating me like I’m some kind of sex god because of my body. There was just all sex and no love in the relationship.
>Realize that I'm in love with T after remembering the tender times we spent together but he hates me and ignores me
>Date G and pretend to be in a happy relationship with him up until 2016 graduation
>We all move out, going our separate ways. We all have career goals except G, who’s probably planning on trying to keep me because I got into med school. I’m still with G but I’m hopelessly in love with T but I don’t know if T ever liked me to begin with.
>I really want to tell T how I feel but I just can’t. G treats me nice, spoils me even, but I love T even though he treated me like a nobody for the past year.
Kind of boring but I needed some place to rationalize myself
>>6279958
Nahhhhhh straight women are great friends for a gay male, especially considering how lackadaisical I am in hiding it now. They're good at figuring it out but not saying it.
make friends with fag hags, friend. generally interesting people and I got me a potential bf out of one, she hooked me up. why push away the gender/orientation pairing that has the most thoughts in common with you?
>>6285401
Bisexual but I'd imagine that straight women would be good friends for gays.
Yeah, straight women aren't as good for bisexual men, buddy. lol
Actually they're kind of terrible friends most of the time. I actually just realized that I don't have a single straight female friend, unless we count my sister's friends.
Time to get this off my chest I guess.
So I've been talking with people nearly my whole life, been on the internet forever, and I've made lots of great friends. Only 2 of them are with me now, the rest have left. I feel as if I've failed them and let them all down. The guys I've been into have been too far away and I blew it with them, no friends irl, and on OKC there's no one I can find. I'm massively into the whole like, emo femboy shit, femboys in general, but my parents are not necessarily enthused about me liking dick. My friends have all left, my family is disappointed, and I'm sitting here, rotting. Don't know what to do without anyone. Hurts to wake up in the morning and all.
I'll admit that I typed out about 4 previous "blog" posts about hating my ex but none of them sat right with me.
It's been close to 6 months and their birthday is pretty soon. I've been feeling pretty nostalgic lately and truth be told, I miss them. Now more than ever I know I won't see them ever again. It's just a fact I accepted and I'm both okay with that and not okay. We were that on-off-on-off couple and it was shitty, neither of us wised up and made the adult decision to move on or bunker down. It took him having one bad night and he finally booked it. I can say that I won't forgive him for that, just because I got no word in at the end and for once, I was the hopeful one. I guess I should have seen that it wasn't going to work out, but I didn't. Shame on me, I guess.
Through all the negative feelings and such, I know that given the right chance, I'd want to see them again. Not as friends but more. Shit part is that that won't happen and my very best scenario involving them would be a random encounter while they're still in the area. The fact that I have some of their stuff is just adding fuel to that.
The tl;dr of it all is that I still care for my ex. I will never see or hear from them again and... I guess I'm just feeling things that suck.
Oh well, he's probably easily replaced me with a better guy. Yay.
>>6285456
Sexist tbqh family
>>6285497
I am probably legitimately sexist or misogynist to an extent so whatever.
I'm also not really a moron who hates women either. I just don't like the way they are sometimes.
Also for what it's worth, most of the women that I am legitimately friends with are either bi or gay so, yeah.
trans ideology is cancer
I'm not actually trans and have been on hormones for 7 months now. Dating a tranny. Chaser turned MTF, my girlfriend has no idea.
>>6285401
I have 3 female friends from college and all of them to varying degrees keep trying to get gossip out of me, get me to talk about girly shit, or tell me "it's totally OK if you want to go to a gay bar with us anon" without me even suggesting it, when they know I couldn't care less about all three.
One of them is fucking bro-tier otherwise, but I feel like everything they do has an ulterior motive and it makes me kind of uncomfortable and defensive at times.
Also the other two are straight up manipulative. One was in a 'no strings attached' relationship with a friend that clearly wanted more out of it, but would act like they were serious when it suited her. When she got bored, she told the entire group of friends she was fooling around with another guy to guilt us into telling him and break them up for her. If this is the kind of girls on STEM careers, I can't imagine what women on other fields are like. I'm so fucking glad to not be into women.
I really just want to fucking die really
What happened? I thought we were doing really well together, as best friends. You'd always spend time with me and we were virtually always together. You made promises that we'd travel across the world and you'd always ask me to go grab some food.
But now, it's like your pushing me away. Did I do something wrong? Or am I imagining it? I really hope it's the latter, but maybe I'm starting to bore you.. I know I'm not as intelligent as you, but I always thought I was nice company to have.
Is it because of our other friend? Is he more interesting than I am? Am I just in the way? I mean, you're even going to see him all the way in Engeland, and I wasn't really invited, even though I really wanted to go too.
I really don't know what will happen if you guys ditch me, but I think I'd end my life.
I hope this is all just in my head.
>>6241836
I can't find the motivation to get out of bed anymore. Everything I do seems pointless and I'm going to fail university because of it, plus I have the stupid desire to become a woman but I'm too scared of not passing and being a freak outcast by everyone to go through with it.
I really just want to off myself but I'm too much of a coward to do it.
>>6291854
Sometimes we just have to chase that purple dragon, you kno?
>>6291875
This image is gold.
>>6284560
As a man, your attractiveness will increase with age? LMFAO have fun with male pattern baldness, stud. Makes all the girls wet.
>There is a common perception that suicide rates are highest among the young. However, it is the elderly, particularly older white males that have the highest rates. And among white males 65 and older, risk goes up with age. White men 85 and older have a suicide rate that is six times that of the overall national rate.
Mmmm that quality of life. But the old maids are probably worse off, right? Get hyped up for an future beer belly, erectile dysfunction, and for the years of emotional repression due to life long pressure to push down your depression/insecurity/fear to massively backfire.
>I've been generally on an upswing since the end of high school.
Hooo boy. I'm guessing you only graduated a handful of years ago because that would explain this sexist confirmation bias train wreck. Real talk, coming from someone who goes regularly- I think you would benefit from seeing a therapist if you're not already. No snark or internet tough guy intended, this is an honest suggestion. If this seems like a cringe-y addendum, that's fine.
Still have that fear in the back of my head that I am just a person who can't be loved. Like maybe one in every set number of people who are designed from birth to be disliked or hated.
I really want to shake that.
>>6291920
Anon as someone who frequents /d/ I've come to recognize that there are people out there who are literally into anything and everything. I'm a deviant of the highest caliber and even I am far beneath the truly demonic omnisexuals, those few heroes who are attracted to women turning into planes and men growing flippers.
So long as there are perverts, there is hope.
i thought i had dysphoria, maybe i actually did and repressed it to hell. i know i can't get the body i want. i don't care about passing or pronouns or all that shit, i'm mostly happy. but then sometimes i fucking hate my genitals and the fact that i'll live my life with them and not the other set makes me feel terrified and sick and sad. happens pretty much every time after i come, too.
but hey, i'm young, maybe in the future sex change operations will advance and i can get one that actually functions. as i said, idgaf about passing and stuff, so being a tranny freak at that age wouldn't bother me as long as i get some functional SRS.
but that's just a fantasy idk
>>6291920
This feel, I always FEEL this feel......
>>6279500
read the first line m8
>>6283954
christ, fuck bi girls.
>>6241836
I'm gay
>come from family of ultra military types
>live in country town where my family are a huge staple in the community
>grew up typical life of rich country folk seen for being alpha males
>had to always be big and strong
>back in high school I was attracted to effeminate nerdy kid who was generally the school punching bag
>hated myself for it
>hated being gay
>was generally nicer to the kid than anyone else, but i was still a piece of shit
>last year of high school I manned up and apologised to him
>he wasn't openly gay, but it was clear he was
>he clearly doesn't like me
>i spend the majority of my time after that making sure no one picks on him
>slowly become friends because I was clearly a piece of shit
>but lost a lot of my popularity
>parents realize I lost a lot of my popularity because of some random kid and don't like it
>i crush to all the pressure
>kid is back to being lonely as fuck
>hate myself even more then before
>people now tease him even more than before
>they make up shit about how I was only pretending
>i try make it up to him
>he clearly hates me more than anyone else
>never speak again
>that was three years ago
Sucked alotta dick
>>6292850
Sucked alotta dick<
>>6287030
Maybe ya just found a few shit-tier fag hags
They're everywhere, just look for the ones who are relatively interesting on their own merits. The one I mentioned is attractive and sociable but still a 4chan type and of I were straight I'd have a huge crush on her. Her bf is lucky
The boy she introduced me to is still much better though
>>6291919
>As a man, your attractiveness will increase with age? LMFAO have fun with male pattern baldness, stud. Makes all the girls wet.
Nigga, I will literally never go bald.
All I have to do in terms of physical attractiveness is work out and get /fit/ and I should be good to go.
>Mmmm that quality of life. But the old maids are probably worse off, right? Get hyped up for an future beer belly, erectile dysfunction, and for the years of emotional repression due to life long pressure to push down your depression/insecurity/fear to massively backfire.
None of that shit will ever happen to me, because...
>Hooo boy. I'm guessing you only graduated a handful of years ago because that would explain this sexist confirmation bias train wreck. Real talk, coming from someone who goes regularly- I think you would benefit from seeing a therapist if you're not already. No snark or internet tough guy intended, this is an honest suggestion. If this seems like a cringe-y addendum, that's fine.
Jokes on you, I already see a therapist. Unlike most men, I'm not stupid enough to emotionally repress myself, honey.
I'm in love with my best friend who is the only person I know within a two hour drive. He knows how I feel, but told me it wouldn't happen because biological kids are super important to him.
I hate myself for being such a pussy and never trying to get what I want.
Just downloaded grindr for the first time, I know I will delete it in a few hours
I was 14 go to judo for 5 years.
We ware a big group so I didn't know all of them,one day someone 9/10 out of my league started to talk with me after the practice was over always wait with me for my bus until one day he said 'I know it is sudden but do you want to date?'
>oh shit man
Didn't even think about my sexual orientation but he was so hot and kind to me so I said yes without even thinking.
After a month or so dating he hinted that he wants to fuck being an insecure teen I agreed.
>dumped after a week
I dropped out of judo,started to feel even more insecure, was depressed for half a year.
In ninth grade fallen for a girl was her bff she but she said she don't want to date. (but in was convoluted as fuck she kissed me and shit)
>to much pain
Never talk to her again.
>major depression
>21 years old right niw
>still have depression use medicine but it doesn't help much.
Right now I'm super insecure about sex and dating.
>almost had a be but fucked it up because I was to afraid to engage in any kind of physical activity.
Oh and I was raped when I was 7.
Fuck me and Fuck all of this I wish I could go back and never have tried to engage in any sort of romantic contact.
Ps sorry for me bad English it's not my native language
>>6293140
Where are you from senpai? You remind me of myself
>>6293155
Jewland
>>6293161
Eastern Euro here.
At least Jewtopia is somewhat okay with gays compared to this shithole I guess.
I just really wish I had the courage to end it all, fuck this life.
>>6293140
?מאיפה אתה
>>6293194
You should talk in English.
But I'm from the north of the country.
>>6293178
Only in Tel Aviv and a select few liberal areas. Any area with a lot of penguins is not safe for gays. Any area with a lot of Arabs is not safe for gays.
>>6292942
Engineering faculty anon, I can't afford to be picky. They're nice people otherwise, if somewhat disingenuous and drama queens.
>>6293178
You shouldn't it would be selfish and hurt all the people around you.
But try to be optimistic one day it will be all over
ive figured out how to suck my own dick and have now done it 5 times in the past 48 hours
never visited this board before either 2bh, just seemed like the right place for this
>>6241836
I'm really not sure what my sexuality is right now - I've always been attracted to women, but perhaps not as much as other guys are (I've never had much attraction to vaginas, but women as a whole turned me on a lot in my teenage years).
Now I'm really not so sure what I like, I have a 'dropping' feeling when looking at guys (it seems like nearly all guys I get this feeling with), but I have never once got an erection over a guy.
I really don't know what to do - I don't know how much depression or porn addiction can effect this kind of thing, and I know I need to ride it out but it is on my mind all day every day.
Unless science figures out how to radically reshape bodies in a timely manner I'm utterly fucked. I only have so much willpower. I can't hold on forever. A decade or two at best.
Confront your girlfriend about how she's not a lesbian. YOU'VE BEEN DATING FOR A YEAR and still haven't "told" her that SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN.
You are her BOYFRIEND. I don't care if she "doesn't think of you that way and she sees you as gender neutral." She can't stand someone "invalidating" her identity but clearly has no problem invalidating yours as a cis guy. I don't know how you can listen to her say "Yeahhh but you're not an asshole" as an explanation for why she considers you genderqueer. It upset me to hear your story of going with her to the lesbian bar and how she was sitting on your lap and making out with you all night. I told you "boyfriends don't really belong in lesbian bars" and you agreed so...?
I know you admire her and think she's incredibly sexy (which... all I'll say is that that makes me feel better about my own body issues lol). I'm sure she's smart and friendly but even "lesbian" aside, she is a mess, dude.
TL;DR:
>tfw you don't have a lesbian girlfriend but your male friend does.
Any anons have friends like this?
>>6241836
I am male, I want a male boyfriend, what I want from said male boyfriend is for him to treat me like a girl when we snuggle, cuddle, and fuck. I want to continue on my path on getting my hands on more and more clothing that lets me feel feminine.
Some days I accept my dick some days I don't.
I wish I was born a female.
>>6279892
You don't love whoever you're talking about. You're calling their relationship abusive?
Just look at what you're saying. You manipulated people to leave them, you wish harm and failure upon them, and you obviously want to control them.
Stop relishing in someone elses troubles you fucking psycho. You clearly have enough of your own.
>>6241836
I had been taking to this guy and we fucked 3 times today and it was the best sex I've ever had. He was everything I love in a man. He just wants a fwb and I do to. It wasn't till I was telling my gay best friend about it today that I realized I stated to catch feelings for him. I've had this happen before so I'm not gonna be weird around him or anything just needed to get it off my chest
most gays make me want another holocaust
I don't want to be thought of as some effeminate egocentric promiscuous disease bag
>>6293611
Same boat as you lad just a little further down the river, i sometimes get that dropping feeling looking at women because a lack of attraction, or that i'm afraid of them. I've come to accept i need to explore my sexuality despite still being madly in love with the thought of a woman.. wouldn't mind if the people at work didn't snicker about me tho lmao.
>>6280278
Holy Shit i was upset when i wrote that. Thanks for the positive feed back friend :) it means a lot.
I crashed my car on the way to a hookup today.
Fuck my life.
preface: stream of consciousness
I don't know if I'm trans anymore. I could just be lonely and trying to fill the void inside. I think I might be gay, but I still like girls. They look nice, and feel nice. I like guys personally. They always have these great hearts, and even if they're a shitty person you can still have a heart-to-heart with them and know that what was said meant something. To both parties. I just don't know how to fo that with girls.
I get so jealous sometimes. I'll see how easily my girl(big space)friends can express themselves emotionally and wish that I vould be them. I got /jealous/ of someone who was /crying/. Crying! I'm fucking dead inside almost all the time and if I so much as shed a single drop I get hassled. That was a lie. Nobody cares if I cry. Nobody cares in general. If I get get up out of bed and leave right now, I bet nobody who doesn't have to care would.
I am the only person I know who's single, with the exception of literally retarded people. I had a girlfriend. Boyfriend? I don't know. We were friends before then. I loved her like a sister. I love them more now, in a way. But less in another. I wish I had the courage to at least text them once in a while. I wish that they had the gall the text me again, plan something for the summer. Or anyone. Anyone could text me right now and I would jump up, get my shoes on, and head straight for them and we would have an adventure until the sun rose, exploring the urban landscape and breathing heavy in the extremely early morning air. I just need a real friend.
I am going to fail english. whatever. i fucking hate ms r so goddamn much she's so nice but i told her and all my teachers about me leaving last week like months ago and it's like they all coordinated to have their major shit due on that week
i am so tired
i want to die
someone, come find me and kill me
please
i need to sleep
>>6280952
holy fuck this so much
>>6246339
That's because bisexuals are seen as slutty degenerates who can't control their urges. Ironically they'd probably respect you more if you were gay.
>>6300497
>I told him how I felt and as expected he's straight. He still wants to be my friend which is all I really needed to hear. I'm so blessed to have met such a great friend and I'm feeling a lot better now.
Well that's nice, honey!
I know I shouldn't talk about this because I'll get sad again, but here goes anyway.
I wish I had been able to tell my father about my sexual orientation before he died. I wish I could have told him of the one I loved, and how we came together. And I wish he were still around for me to talk about my gender identity issues with, which I've had for over a year now and only seem to get worse.
Dad, why did you have to leave so soon? I saw it coming- the way you talked and how you took care of yourself, but did you know how quick it would be? Did you plan it to be only a week after I moved away from home? Were your ideas on faith worth it in the end? Because for me they sure as hell weren't.
It's because of you I've been repressing for so long. You told me you hated "gay sex marriages", how God hates that sort of thing. How could I ever tell you then about the love I felt for him and all we shared? How I always hated being a guy because you made me feel like I could never measure up, and how I ended up wanting to be a girl after you were gone? How would you have handled any of it if you had given enough of a damn of your health to live a few years longer?
Would you have hated me the same way you hated "them"? Would I have been disowned? Would the dreams I have of you be anything more pleasant than the ones that leave me in tears? Your belief became my self-hatred, and it's in part thanks to you that I turned out as I am.
I hope that Jesus guy treats you as well as you wanted, because you're definitely not getting the same love from me.
