what music are you listening right now buddies?
READ THE OP
Don't forget to sage and wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
Ancient map: https://www.zeemaps.com/edit/U0Hw9yNtqrJd-qzTdbUFMw
Some info (excuse the tumblr, it's truscum): http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/tags/
Phalloplasty info:
http://ftmphalloplasty.tumblr.com/post/127662387608/phalloplasty-blogs
Skype group: add cheeki-briki or duckduckfrog
Sleeping in traffic, beard fish.
>>6100952
SLAAAAMM
>>6100952
TOO SOON FOR A NEW THREAD NEW FAG
>>6100996
i'm a faggot if i think the 95% of slam is shit and only a bunch of albums are good like pic related?
>>6101044
Yes. go listen to your palm muted chugga chugga pretty boy breakdowns
>>6101044
I first read that as autopsy-chosis, not auto-psychosis. That was kinda weird.
Also that art is fucking awesome as hell.
my s/o has some youtube video on idk can't pay attention to it... as far as music goes last thing i listened to was a recording of myself playing so i can criticize myself and try to correct all the mistakes... lot of jedi mind tricks lately too:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OmIH8Sua0Yw
You people can't call yourselves real men until you've drank rakija and played accordion in a remote Balkan village.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtgA0jvhp2A
>>6100046
I am the same poster who was asking about the harness in the last/ftmg/, reporting back.
I actually decided to go back to the local LGBT shop where I bought my Archer and asked to see their selection of harnesses.
I ended up buying a new harness called The Sling-shot and it fits nearly perfectly with the Archer.
Just a head's up anon - if you are still using your Archer I would suggest giving it a try.
>>6101194
>tfw you will never be deepdicked by a man wearing only a dusty vest while his comely mountain wife plays the accordion
>>6100952
https://youtu.be/kpmHavebYYs
https://youtu.be/WJWjuzeQRQk
https://youtu.be/BBaKOcuNTYs
https://youtu.be/_ZWLQKVwCSA
honorable mention: https://youtu.be/IxG4JnG4UGQ
>>6101271
I like how that's what you took away from the song.
>>6100952
I keep listening to riff raff and other shitty rap music because it's so catchy and I have bad taste in music anyway so why not.
I have been crushing on this guy for awhile now, and he was kind of interested too until he found out I was trans. So he stopped flirting with me all together and our friendship has gotten a little uncomfortable and it seems onesided on my end. I try to set time to hang with him because even if we can't date I still want to be friends because he's cool, yet he's always "busy" and doesn't want to be friends with me for some reason... Anyway I found out tonight that the bislut he started dating, after giving the cold shoulder to me, cheated on him and he is really upset about it. I am secretly satisfied.
>if he dated me I wouldn't cheat on him
>but he'd rather date someone with a dick who is a complete tool and sleeps around
Just kill me now, gay men suck.
>>6101405
Nay, the song stirred up a slumbering desire I already had in the depths of my soul.
>>6100952
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8g5nn0qcEo
>>6101449
You're missing his grown sons, all six of them, masturbating in the corner.
>>6101258
LGBT shop? Where do you live? I live in bumfuck, Egypt so it's hard to imagine a one-stop shop for all one's queer needs.
>>6101801
Where abouts in BFE? I moved here from California to get away from a needy ex who refused to believe I was a trans man and not a lesbian.
I like Rammstein an awful lot because I'm a faggot and all that. This is my favorite album neither because of nor in spite of the homoerotic undertones of the album cover.
>>6101829
Forgot pic
>>6101431
It's okay to feel petty sometimes.
>be me
>dating bisexual man while still living as a woman/pre-transistion
>after being together for awhile I come to terms with being trans.
>not that panicked about coming out to bf because he knows several trans people himself and bf is bi / into being bottom anyway so hey.
>inform boyfriend of my feelings and desire to transistion
>bf flips out at first but we try to make it work
>bf suddenly starts changing his mind about major life goals that would be prohibitive to my transistion.
>breaks up with me repeatedly, only to draw me back in when he's sad
>prolonged break up that shreds my self-esteem ensues
>finally disentangle move on with life and move away
Years later...
>Ex occassionally contacts me
>Tells me I am the only person who ever really 'understood him.'
>Gets cheated on repeatedly by GFs
>Frustrated with cis men he's had hook-ups with
>Hinting he wants me to move by him again
>mfw turn him down
>>6101829
Rammstein is one of my favorites too.
Bummed I can't afford to see them in Chicago this year.
>>6101801
I actually live in a city where the nearest sex shop to me is owned by a trans person.
feelsgoodfamilia
Been listening to a lot of early 2000's shit lately,
think I've listened to this album 20 times in the past week t b h
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdwMkA1WaGU
So something weird has been going on lately.
I caught feelings for one of my friends, talked about it with them, and it's mutual.
The only issue is, he's a guy and I consider myself straight.
I've never been interested in men physically, only been with women.
I'm not physically attracted to him (as far as I know), and I don't think he is towards me either.
Not sure what to do or what to make of any of this. I'm wondering if I've been suppressing things and it's coming out this way or if it's all circumstantial.
>>6102061
You know how there is no such thing as a lesbian?
There is no such thing as a straight ftm.
You are all straight chicks who want deep dickings
>>6102076
the thought of having a man anywhere near me sexually makes me a little ill.
Is this just some sort of fetish for you or are you just taking cheap shots 'cause you don't have any better material?
>>6102082
>makes me a little ill
Lel, not gonna stop you from sucking cock And getting pounded in your holes. You're inner straight girl is being repressed. Let her out gf.
>>6102082
>responding to tryhard b8
C'mon now
>>6102105
I'm a straight man who has dicked many "straight" ftms and lesbians. AMA
>>6102095
If all I wanted was dick why would I go straight to men? Trans women would fit my criteria better wouldn't they?
>>6102105
but it's fun
>>6102111
Because men are your forbidden fruit. Also we can actually cum and cover you in semen.
>>6102119
>semen
I think I'll pass buddy.
>wait to make new threads until we're at bump limit on page 9-10.
OP, please read the OP.
It's time to worship the holy SPEED DRUMS
https://fwamusic.bandcamp.com/track/when-its-done-as-evidence-its-a-shirt-again
>>6102111
hi can you be my daddy
>>6101431
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kTmP4K_ozRQ
>>6101431
it's uncomfortable for some people to be friends with someone who likes them... especially depending on the person, idk... i know it's made me uncomfortable and like... feel guilty, which makes keeping a friend hard...
but there's nothing to be satisfied about, now you're just both miserable...
>>6102192
anything for you bb.
>>6102323
rly
like please though i need a new daddy
i have infiltrated your thread/boywomb from mtfg
>>6102335
I don't see why not, though I don't think I really fit the bill for that tbqh
>>6101947
>dyke
>likes men
>>6102109
>a straight man
Here we go again lmao
>>6101947
I'm Intersex, just lurking. and have to use a strap on
Women really don't mind that much
Any other Britfags remember Jason's storyline on Hollyoaks? 17 year old me didn't realise why that story was so engaging while thinking the rest of the show was crap.
>>6102061
Describe yo feelings, anon. Have you ever been "in love" before? Do you understand the initial excitement thrill vs long term, compounded love? How deep are these feelings or how do they manifest?
>Ask him if he's also sexually attracted to you
>Maintain good communication
>Set a relationship based on what you want out of each other
Also, google "how to have an asexual relationship" or something.
>>6103093
you make starting a relationship sound like a business arrangement...
>>6102801
>>6103093
Well we've kind of talked about it, but the most I've really gotten out of him is pretty vague responses so far.
I don't know if he was attracted to me, he'd ever admit it honestly.
and yes, I've been in love before, and while I don't think it's as extreme as that, it certainly feels similar.
I started to kind of realize it a couple months ago. We have been friends for 4-5 years now, we ended up telling eachother a lot of things I don't think either of us would actually admit to outside our conversations with eachother.
Think after years of spilling everything you got to someone it seems like shit just happens sometimes.
I dunno what we'll do about it, we may just leave it at what it is right now and not risk anything,
or move to whatever the next step is which I'm still not sure what that would be in this case.
>>6103205
sounds like you're just good friends... that kinda shit gets mixed up easily, but yeah... being close to someone can be easily mistaken for more
though sometimes dating friends can go great, wouldn't be with my s/o the way we are if i didn't decide to date my best friend... so it depends i guess, but if you're both straight that's probably just a matter of feeling close cuz you can be open and talk to each other and that can be hard to find... just see where things go naturally, but consider that it's extreme closeness and love without a romantic relationship being part of the equation...
basically just keep doing what you're doing and shit will happen or it won't
>>6103139
it kind of its.... i meam what do you think makes it so different from slutting it up and flying from the seat of your pants? why do you think marriage exists and monogamy is tied to dating?
>>6103330
i think it's different cuz interactions with people aren't that cut and dry or able to be googled... it's not a business relationship, and sometimes things just happen organically and naturally just from being around someone... no offense, but it sounds like you don't have a lot of relationship experience
and i've been with my s/o for 11 years (12 this halloween), we're open to a point (usually monogamous, but no monogamy doesn't go hand in hand with a relationship... you're completely wrong there, that's some relationships not all), and yeah we're getting married at some point... but mostly just for legal reasons like me having health issues and him wanting to be able to be in the hospital with me if something happens
>>6103322
Yeah I'm just going to see what happens. I'm just happy to have him around at this point, I probably need to think about how I'd feel if the relationship actually went into romantic territory and if it's worth that leap of faith or not.
>tfw cis male
>tfw repressed tranny
>tfw got muscular as fuark
>gonna keep repressing
if i could trade places i would. its too late for that. Test keeps the pain away.
>>6103386
yeah just see what happens organically... and put a lot of thought into it, i turned down my s/o when he first told me he was in love with me and asked me out, cuz we were such good friends and that scared the shit out of me... about 2 months later though i realized that with how i felt, and how he felt that not pursuing a relationship out of fear of risking our friendship wasn't worth missing out on what we could have, and i asked him out
i have no regrets with him, but at the same time our ex was a really good friend of mine, and i do regret ever going there with her... it can really vary, and there's no way of knowing... but for now all you can do is enjoy what you have and see what happens
>>6101947
>dykes
because dykes want to fuck men
>>6103414
>Test keeps the pain away.
Tell me more. I need to hear this.
>>6103596
Lifting weights produces natural hormones and test that is great your body and mental state post work out.
And 20+ of cardio, good cardio where you sweat your ass off gives you a "runners" high.
btw not person who you responded to, but I figured I'd drop and tell you that working out really gives you a natural high when you push yourself that last throughout the day
>>6103607
>cardio
enjoy your no gains
>>6103607
>Lifting weights produces natural hormones and test that is great your body and mental state post work out.
You're talking about endorphines, not test. Lifting doesn't increase test and certainly not in pseudomales like us.
>>6103614
>Lifting doesn't increase test
u fukn srs?
>>6103596
Its a very powerful agent. i get very depressed but my high T prevents me from crying or losing it in public. and able to hold my emotions in check.
i get very sad that im not a girl. so in my repression i was in the gym very often. using adrenalin and test to overpower my emotions.
so to silence that voice in my head. i would literally exhaust myself to the point of near and sometimes actual collapse. the only downside is that at rest its horrible when it wears off for me. that wont happen to you tho.
its that power when you push that last rep. when you sprint that last mile.
sprinting, lifting and pushups to push my absolute limit. just to get that high that would make it go away for a few hours
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz9ZMD9KFNg
in my earlier years. it worked flawlessy. you become a person who doesent doubt themselves. you feel invincible.
>>6103623
not enough to matter
>>6104471
it all matters...
>>6104543
No it doesn't, it's fucking stupid bro science, just like the people who say consuming soy is going to raise your estrogen levels enough to grow boobs ( as a man).
>>6104585
keep telling yourself that aiden
lifting heavy is the best way to increase test
>>6104585
i just felt like saying that... so i did, that's about half the reason i ever say everything...
but i do think that the "working out doesn't matter 'til i'm on t" mentality is gross desu... i also think talking about how that isn't enough to count discourages people to actually do something that's beneficial for them... depressed people tend to be easily discouraged you know?
btw working out is important pre-t, it can help with passing and surgery results... regardless of the t levels
and i've never heard anyone say soy raised estrogen levels that much...
>>6104617
ever say anything* my bad... it does increase t levels btw, obviously it isn't hrt, but that's like saying getting fat doesn't raise estrogen (it does)
>>6104617
from actually doing something* ... i probably fucked up more than that but eh whatever... i give up
this is actually one of the few times i'm sober, bad lyme day though and i can't english at all apparently... time to leave 4chan
>>6104946
Miss you when you're gone, Brooks. Hope you feel better.
>>6101848
I'm gonna try to make it to Chicago. I hope I can.
>>6102111
>responding to b8
I'm scared me and my girlfriend aren't going to be as close once I start getting changes from T. I'm doing it no matter what but I'm so anxious about losing her.
>>6105068
Them's the feels, anon...
>>6105041
Sometimes it's fun to just waste some time on b8.
Who wants my testicles.
>>6105462
Dibs! Fuck, I wish there were ways to hook this shit up. I particularly want my uterus out of me for my peace of mind, but I wish I could donate it to someone who wants it. Though as is, science may move faster than this damn bureaucracy - perhaps it'll work out for the greater good.
>>6105462
To put them on my body or suck them?
So, when you gon on hormones, do you keep your full male mental facultes?
>>6105543
It'd be fantastic if that were to be a possibility (I mean it already is, it's just a matter of ethics at this point), just treat it like any other organ donation. I think a lot of good when it come out of that when / if that does happen.
>>6105543
>>6105565
Is there even space for a uterus for mtfs? And don't you have to be on immunosuppressive drugs for the rest of your life with organ transplants? Really easy to pick up infections and cancer on those.
On the brightside it doesn't seem much of a risk for pregnancy. Either way imagining a rejecting uterus is fucking horrifying.
>>6105565
It's already kind of a thing, huh? I've only ever idly thought about the idea of not wasting my unwanted organs. But I read the Wikipedia article and then I fell down a hole of trans pregnancy articles. I now kinda understand the issues, ethical and practical, of uterine transplants in general, and sorta get the additional complications with regard to trans women.
Due to personal biases I'd rather donate to a trans woman. Hopefully with time and experience it could become a safe, feasible option for non-rich mtfs too.
I'm actually a very adoption type of dude, but I think the issue of having and raising children is more complex than telling everyone to just adopt.
>>6105897
Apparently the uterus would be temporary for a pregnancy or two, because of all the stuff you mention.
Why doesn't ftmg post selfies? ;_;
>>6106105
Plenty of guys have posted their selfies before
>>6106105
Too paranoid. I don't want people who know me to learn that I, role model for the youth, spend my precious time on this planet funposting on a forum for sequential squiggles.
>>6106105
Paranoia
I'm not even on a single social network, never have been, never have posted a picture of myself anywhere, neither that nor real name
I am net invisible as much as I can, even for tracking\cookies\emails\anything that can be traced back to me because it makes me nervous to know they can see what I do
>>6105462
Can I have the whole junk please
Not anywhere inside me, but sewn onto my crotch?
>>6106417
20 wasted years
>>6100952
music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76MAlCyzkKo
>>6100952
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsnv3VLnMwE
i've been listening to this for about 4 hours
>>6106433
I'm almost 20, so soon it'll be 20 wasted years for me too.
>>6106502
lmao stupid vine music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1xT_0aQ2iU&nohtml5=False
>>6106183
I am very, very distinctive-looking, so I'd definitely be recognised.
>>6106433
>>6106508
i have 8 months till my 20 wasted
>>6106516
Yup. Same. I've had people walk up to me in major cities walk up to me all "..anon?"
Ok it's only happened twice but it was still weird. I've been on the internet way too long.
>>6106527
I have less than that. qq
>>6106540
As have I (been on the Internet too long). I have an almost pathological relationship with it.
>>6106105
I'd post one if I looked decent rn
>>6106270
Chas Bono?
>>6106527
Let's throw a collective birthday party where we all play co-op DkS without even talking to each other Basically a long haul lan party
>>6106562
I think a live stream of music and films /ftm/-relevant would be a good idea for that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdEPnGUPc5s
now listening to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o0WYiK52Dg
angsty as fuck but it's my kind of angst
>>6106604
>>6106616
i can't believe there is an actual human being that listens to this, and hes posting in the same thread as me
>>6106618
>>6106600
Why not go for a Cronenberg marathon? Or Jodorowsky? That stuff would keep us entertained for sure
Music is a good idea, also I'd recommend a MMO session, I've started vanilla WoW again after years and I miss the camaraderie
tfw trans clothes swap event in your town but too agoraphobic to go along and couldn't afford the taxis anyway
>>6106633
I love Cronenberg. Crash and Videodrome are both in my top five films. I'm in
>>6106633
My shitty laptop won't run most MMOs, just the 2D pixelly ones. MUD session...?
>>6106646
Oh hell yes, also Existenz
His son produced a film which wasn't on par with Dad Crony's work, but was still visually remarkable in certain parts and the concept itself was interesting enough, namely Antiviral. Check it if you haven't, it's worth watching once
Let's make these 20 years less wasted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhhZdune_5Q
>>6100996
>>6101044
>>6101098
>>6101834
>>6106604
>>6106618
fellow metalhead ftms <3
>>6105004
thanks... i appreciate it, i've just been not good today and attempting to find words has been more trouble than it's worth... lyme can fuck with my reading/writing/speaking ability somewhat and today's been a little not great with that... figure it's better to shut up than keep going when i can tell it's not the best day... got really bad at one point, and i couldn't stop mixing up the words "hot" and "cold" and pretty much all of their synonyms, shit was weird... it's been minor today, but it puts me on edge
>>6106105
i have before, but here, in my s/o's speed racer shirt... i'm nothing special but eh... took this at the beginning of the month before i got really sick (again), dropped some weight since but it's the most recent pic i have
now you know what one of us looks like
>>6106681
Let's do this. I haven't yet watched Existenz or Antiviral
also: I get strong dysphoria undertones from Dogtooth
>>6106663
Why not, I'm always up for that
Roleplaying or dungeon crawling? Personally I itch for some RP action and bullshittery
>>6106691
Roleplaying ideally. Which MUD would you prefer?
>>6106690
Dogtooth is some other breed of fuck-uppery
We should also watch Poughkeepsie tapes for a dose of comic relief, the fun thing about that film is that it tries so hard to be edgy and it's.. well, a caricature of itself, like the drag queen of psychological horror movies
>>6106699
I'm up for anything, so the choice is yours, also I'm sure you know better since I am not extremely familiar with the MUD scene
>>6106689
Are you schizo too? It's been rough lately for me too, especially the paranoia and occult delusions/revelations/whatever
>>6106719
i heard the poughkeepsie tapes were awful from a friend... he might've taken it too seriously though so idk
doubt it's the worst movie ever though, cuz that's the begotten
>>6106105
cos im ugly af
>>6106730
nah, lyme has a lot of neurological symptoms as well as physical... so it fucks with a lot, and then my entire digestive system is fucked too so when that's really bad the lack of vitamins and whatnot mess with me too... lyme's seriously messed with damn near everything though, even my vision (especially my left eye), and then it's like... the symptoms vary and alternate, and shit can get so different quickly... like from one hour to the next i could go from feeling alright to feeling like i might die and vice versa
you doing alright? my uncle has schizophrenia, but he never really talks about it other than like i know he hears voices and stuff about jesus but past that nothing... and i've never done much of my own research
>>6106773
My digestion is fucked also, but that's unrelated to the schizo. lyme sounds nasty. I've had to get checked for it several times because of getting bitten by ticks.
>>6106729
I'm hanging out on the tgmud hub right now.
>>6106105
try archives there are threads with photos
>>6106738
It's stupid as shit but at least it manages to be unwillingly funny
Begotten made me fall asleep because of the pace and the fact you can't keep track of what's going on to save your life
>>6106817
If the threads are archived, I'm _definitely_ not posting pictures. Maybe if we had somewhere more private.
>>6106762
eh, don't need to be attractive to post a pic... i look at it like, people see me outside so what's the difference?
>>6106791
my mother is pretty insistent that i have crohn's disease on top of the lyme... cuz she has it and so do a few people in my family, but fuck if i know...
it's funny the time i got lyme i wasn't at all worried about getting it... just before that i had gotten covered in ticks and i was flipping my shit cuz i was worried, but i was alright that time
so the second time i was just like "eh whatever i'm good" and then 2 weeks later just nope... did the treatment (it was a fucking nightmare, lyme die off hurts worse than just having it) had a month where i was alright-ish after and then it just went back to shit
are you in a place where it's a big issue? cuz where i am a lot of people end up with it, the guy who took my blood for the test fucking had it
>>6106923
The schizo? The mental health system in this country is so fucked. I have a dying alcoholic as a registered carer. Though at least I got a psych clinic letter the other day with "Mr. [myname]" on it. Also somehow managed to jump the gender clinic queue by something like sixteen months,.
>>6106856
i actually got what was going on, it was just fucking stupid..
i sat through the whole fucking thing too, just waiting for part of it to be worthwhile... it mostly just felt like i was an extended version of the ring video... except with artsy bullshit abou death and rebirth instead of dying in seven days
and i like silent movies, but all the crickets and wind without anything else was just bullshit
you were better off sleeping honestly, it's not even worth finishing
so the poughkeepsie tapes is so bad it's alright then? that tends to not be my kinda movie (terribly good ones i mean), but every so often one of those is worthwhile
>>6106944
the lyme, cuz the guy told me like half the people in my area end up with it and some point... to varying degrees, some people recover quickly and stay that way, i just got unlucky
that's good at least, sucks about the schizo shit though... are you on meds for it? do they help, my uncle is on all these meds, but they don't seem to do much other than make him really out of it
>>6106986
I'm on a lot of meds but a big side-effect of one is insomnia. There are only two which I felt any difference after starting, and my new psychiatrist wants me off them.
>>6107009
he wants you off the ones that work? why?
>>6107023
One of them is a real oldie and a lot of psychiatrists don't like it. The other is controlled.
>>6107023
I sometimes want a Szasz/Laing-type "madness is genius, let the crazies be" type psychiatrist, but I know I'd just go nuts.
>>6107086
The controlled one is Valium. Mine gets really bad sometimes but I can usually reality check.
>>6106944
>The mental health system in this country is so fucked.
No kidding. I had to have a medical doctor write a letter to a psych saying that yes, I will become violent during certain medical procedures if I am not drugged for my anxiety.
Since I moved, I have yet to be able to get on anything I need.
"You should just breathe" "Lets try these medications again that really fucked up you up for months even after stopping them"
When I was on xanax I was suppose to be taking two a day but I might have taken half of one/one once every month or two since I only wanted to take it if I felt like I really needed it and just deal with most of my anxiety myself but no, I'm a drug seeker apparently.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJJ8hWDXWGs
>>6107280
>you the guy who punched the dentist?
Sure am
>>6106730
I'm schizo and also have paranoid and occult delusions and such. I'm scared about my future. Getting T with this diagnosis is hard.
>>6107489
That's my fear too. I'm really hoping to find a psych who'll un-diagnose me.
I need help with picking a middle name
My first name is going to be Charles (Charlie) and my last name starts with B
>>6108046
How about Tobias?
>tfw wanna /qst/ but have too much work to do
>tfw depression and stress has hit overload
So who else becomes imobilised when important stuff starts to pile up?
Guys for some reason my uterus is fucking hurting like shit. Like unbelievable I want to an hero pain. I've been on T two years, could it have atrophied or somethjng
>>6108188
Go to doctor. Something could be wrong especially since it has lost its monthly rebooting protocol.
>>6106633
>ftmgen cronenberg marathon
this is the best idea I've heard all week.
Is ftmgen the gen with the best tastes (movies/books/music)? It's starting to seem that way tbqh.
>>6108193
Like ER type? I dunno if I can sleep, it's like 4 am and it feels like someones punching my ovaries
>>6108254
If you can't sleep from pain then that's usually ER time
>>6108046
I have similar issues with choosing a name. Currently: Julian vs. Dominic. As for a middle name, I'm set on Newton. I want to change my surname also, break off my family. Collins or Cain? Currently I like Dominic Newton Cain.
>>6107423
thought so... never seen anyone say they got like that before
>>6108222
subjective, but idk what the other generals are like anyway...
>>6108254
hope you went to the hospital... cuz this >>6108278
unless you're me, and that's a normal day, but really if you're feeling shit like that to that point after 2 years on t then you really can't put off getting that shit checked out...
>>6108046
xavier
>>6108177
depends... for whatever reason if my s/o is more stressed than i am i'm able to chill out and get shit done, but if he's handling shit better than me i can't
i'm lucky though cuz like... i currently have to figure out how to get out of here asap cuz of that crazy guy and shit... but i was able to ask a friend of mine to kinda just get shit together for me so i don't have to... and now i don't have to think, she's doing it for me
I like Pedestrian Verse better but today is an Organ Fight day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBTuyF1T7zA
Who sportball here?
Does anyone watch / play (or played) anything?
Favorite sport to play / watch?
Favorite team(s)?
Question, why I can't seem to find a MtF that's just a nerdy guy instead they all want to act like a dudebro from from some fraternity.
If you guys don't wanna answer it's alright I was just curious, no need to be triggered or anything.
>>6108696
That's because when MtFs repress they repress hard.
>>6108696
>mtf
do you mean ftm?
dunno dude, I act that way due to my upbringing /environment + having older brothers / mostly dudebro friends. Some may act that way as a way of shedding their previous forced female identity, some may act that way to fit in with hyper masculine stereotypes.
There's definitely nerdy ftm's out there, since we're all different people with different upbringings and don't all fit into the same stereotypes / have the same interests. It's just a matter of knowing where to look.
>>6108754
>>6108720
I think I sorta did.
I think it's just a matter of people's personal upbringings and in certain cases people will go into hyper masculine dudebro mode to cast aside their female identity, and because they weren't raised technically as men they might have a twisted version of what being /acting like a guy is so they go automatically into "chad" mode.
It's also a way to pass a lot better when you're pre everything, "Chad-mode" can sometimes help you pass more when you're pre-everything. So they might not stay that way forever, usually once someone transitions to a point they feel comfortable they start shrugging that mask off
>>6108682
the only thing i ever watch every year is the superbowl, but that's just cuz it's a gambling holiday... i suppose if i gambled on it all the time i could get into that aspect of it, but otherwise i find that boring as shit...
>>6108696
everyone's different... there's plenty of variety when it comes to transguys, probably just a matter of where you're looking...
though i always think it's weird when people say "want to act like" and just assume that's not just what comes naturally to those guys...
personally i wouldn't say i was either type so eh...
>>6108824
>>6108682
them* not "that" my bad... sobriety is doing nothing good for me, i'm just gonna get drunk today and hope it doesn't make shit much worse
but yeah i can't even with sports... grew up around sports fanatics, and could never get the appeal past the excuse to make extra holidays to celebrate ... but i do that anyway like: i can see grass for the first time after winter better get shitfaced and celebrate
>>6108824
I've never been a big fan of the NFL only ever got into College so I'm sorta with you there.
I've only placed bets on nhl/wshl games before I can usually make a couple bucks from it since I follow both pretty closely. Still yet to do it with the stanley though. I've thought about doing it this year but i'm unfortunately broke as shit.
>>6108754
All trans people are stuck in this damned if you do damned if you don't dilemma. For ftms, being macho is tryhard and fake, and being effeminate invalidates you entirely. Everyone has their natural and nurtural inclinations, but it's inevitable that some guys will choose (subconsciously or not) to play up their masculinity in order to pass.
The only guy I know who obviously does this is tiny and pre-T. A lot more ftms I know are just your average nerds. Bedroom internet hobbyists. Comics and anime and bad TV. Your dream boy is out there.
>>6108696
>implying I'm not naturally aggressive and obnoxious
>bonus hole boys
>>6108845
i just guess and hope for the best cuz i can't really pay attention anyway... it's just like an excuse to get drunk and yell at the tv
hockey is vaguely more entertaining, but even then eh... i can't really see the appeal in watching sports without gambling though, unless i also played them cuz i suppose i'd find it more interesting if i felt like i could learn something
boxing can be entertaining though
do you play hockey or anything else?
>>6108850
you can't be, you're trans so it must be an act...
>>6108918
Now you're just being passive agressive. Typical woman.
You should just call that anon a faggot and shrug it off instead.
>>6108914
I played street hockey just for fun all the way up until college probably would've played ice a lot more if I actually lived anywhere near a rink. Played soccer competitively for awhile as well, though I didn't care for it nearly as much.
H-hi boys
>>6108918
>it must be an act
Untrue.
>>6108930
>faggot
True.
Man here. I'll give you free T If you help me escape mtfg with my repression intact.
>>6109020
there is no escaping mtfg once you're in it, you're there forever.
But I'll take your T and give you a pat on the back for trying if that's worth anything.
>>6109033
But I don't want to be a hon. I want to be normal ;~;
>>6109042
What's the ftm equivalent of a hon?
>>6109042
Sux m8 I don't want to be a 5'8" manlet but we gotta live with the hand we're dealt.
I think if it makes you happy you should go through with it now, before you hit 50 and come to after repressing for however many
years
but it's your life, I can't make that decision for you.
>>6109043
an Aiden (?)
>>6109049
>5'8" manlet
Every night, I wake with a scream and all I can do is lay back, stay into the darkness and whisper to myself "it's just a meme".
>>6108696
Because living as a man is a big competition, and having a bagina, is somewhat of a tiny disadvantage
>>6109043
Justin bieber or a butch lesbian.
Bos, let me ask you one thing, why top surgery always give some nasty scars?
Is there something that can be done to sort that out? like doing better wound dressing, etc after the surgery?
I could be biased due to lack of knowledge since I only saw a small couple of cases but they are terrible and in my mind they shouldn't end with so many scars. MtF bottom surgery is super complex no? It doesn't end as bad (well it's bad but not as many scars) as something that was supposed to just be >remove some tissue / fat / skin / close it up.
>>6109064
except the meme is real.
if you 5'8" manlet in the game you 5'8" manlet in real life.
>>6109067
5'0 ?? I don't want to be an ass, but how do you find pants that are the right length? even I have to get my pants tailored because they're too long.
Why do vaginas queef before they pee? And why does it sound like a shart?
>>6109049
Why must I make the choice. I wish boys and girls could just trade bodies like trading cards
>>6109066
You need to have tiny boobs to begin with to get the keyhole procedure, which is just a small incesion or two. My friend was an A cup and three different surgeons told him he was too big(despite I know someone else who had a b cup and got it, but they had to get it redone because the puffiness never went away).
With a double masectomy you can't just scoop out the fat. They need to stretch and remove the extra skin, rearrange the nipples and sew it all back up. It's a lot they have to cut through.
>>6109043
"aiden" has been put forward for a while. Actually, I get the sense there's one anon shilling it hard right now. It refers to tumblr children who don't try to pass and might not even want T, just the pronouns and the name. The one fucking name.
I suppose hons/aidens are equivalent if the criterion is what's supposed to embarrass our respective camps, because 50 year old butches getting on T tend to pass to the world even if they don't look (or sound) great. Stubble is stubble.
>>6109084
I really wish this was possible too, but hey life could be a lot more shitty than just this.
I assume you're around my age (21), probably in a better position than you think, and have the ability to change if you want to.
It's just a matter of getting over your fears quickly enough to make the leap.
>>6109100
I hope you all become the men you are inside
>>6109112
We're all gonna make it familia.
>>6108945
i was banned from the ice skating rink near me when i was younger... first and only time i went ice skating, i lived pretty close to it though, the neighborhood i grew up in was one of the ones that borders prospect park
soccer looks like it's probably way less enjoyable than street hockey (played that before, it was fun but i've never really been big into sports)
i was just way more into doing really stupid shit as a to get into sports... closest i usually got was playing "baseball" with my s/o with a bayonet and whatever we could find to throw at each other, and like this other game where one of us would throw bags of garbage out of our window while the other tried to catch them in the can...
now i just know people who play basketball, but i haven't done that since i was under 10 and i'm too sick to get into it anyway
>>6109077
yeah... i actually wear kid's clothes for the most part, the length on size 12 -14 boy's pants is actually perfect (and then they get to size 10 and the inseam shrinks by way too much) so it works out... i fucking hate shopping for clothes though, all my choices are either extremely plain or shit with like fire trucks on it, which sucks...
but yeah, my mom is 4'11 and my dad is 5'2 so i didn't really have a chance... on the bright side i'm hispanic/italian so i've met guys around my height, and on my dad's side my female cousins are significantly shorter than me so i could've been worse off
>>6109084
that'd make an interesting sci fi movie...
no one would trade with me though, unless they were fucking crazy
>work up courage to tell someone I wish I had XY chromosomes after repressing this shit for almost a decade, have no idea what to do
>"haha if you really want a dick you can just play with mine you know"
>"you can just get a bf and admire his penis if you want one so bad"
>"you can touch mine but only if you let me see your stuff too ;)"
I was depressed before but now I just want to shoot myself in the fucking head.
>>6109149
Having two XX chromosomes and a vagina, and being short is all I want. In return you could have my tall repressed muscular gym body.
Just being a real girl. Anything is worth that trade to me.
>>6109152
Testosterone is quite strong, even if you repressed it for a decade and between your 20s or 30s it will work.
MtF are the ones fucked, poor bastards had T fucking them up for years before they could do anything.
Seriously anon, don't give up and try, you have a chance. And it won't hurt to try since you're saying you will shoot yourself anyway.
>>6109158
well... the reason i said you'd have to be crazy is cuz it comes with lyme disease and shit
What's your guy's opinions on trans men who crossdress/effeminate trans men?
>>6109137
I always thought baseball looked like fun until I played it, it's alot slower of a game than I'm used to, though batting cages are top tier entertainment.
Yeah soccer was alright, I usually got stuck being goalie, which wasn't terrible but not exactly thrilling (even in comparison to goal keeping in hockey) either.
i lived far away from my rink, which wasn't really a hockey rink anyway it was a practice rink for figure skating - but any opportunity I had to go I'd take to be out on the ice until closing.
>>6109152
>>6109163
This. Becoming masculine is difficult but it's certainly not impossible. Femininity is delicate soft and has to be carefully created through luck and genetics, and mimimal t poisoning.
But masculinity can be built with Brute force. Lift heavier weights, eat more protein, take your T. You get to embrace your anger and aggression to achieve your goals. You get to feel the rush as you reach a new personal record
You can become confident, powerful and strong. And nothing and no one in the world will ever stop you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcThFswcLB0
>>6109171
No opinion, they can do what they like and I'll do what I like. I might not get it but if it makes em happy and they aren't hurting anyone who am I to judge?
>>6109165
Wew lad.
>>6108696
How you act and present your personality affects your ability to pass. Being a dudebro is the easiest way to do that
>>6109165
Still worth it desu
>>6109165
I think Lyme disease is better than dysphoria. Imo cancer is better than dysphoria. Cancer either heals or kills you. You're stuck with dysphoria forever
>>6109165
+ the "and shit" is that my entire digestive system is fucked, and my reproductive system isn't much better...
i imagine if some shit like that were possible i wouldn't be a candidate considering i can't donate blood (lyme makes me ineligible)
and now our imaginary body trade has become like a trans, body swapping version of gattaca...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4VycaR-1DA
>>6109180
A great movie idea would be a formally repressed mtf and ftm teaching each other how to be the other gender
>>6109171
if it makes them happy why not?
baseball with a bayonet and things that you can cut in half out of the air is a lot more fun than regular baseball (which is boring yeah), never been to a batting cage
i could see why that'd suck being goalie mostly just feels like you're watching other people play for the most part...
that's cool, the one in the park isn't really an ice hockey ring either... the security guards there were so touchy and pissy about everything too... i really hate the way that shit makes my ankles feel though
>>6109192
i can promise it isn't
>>6109199
spoken like someone who doesn't have it... i tried to hang myself once, it was mostly dysphoria related, i still would rather just have dysphoria than lyme... you have no idea what you're talking about, and you can't really pick and choose what's worse when you've never experienced both
>>6109171
Clothes are clothes. Doesn't mean they don't have dysphoria
>>6109218
Hm, you're probably right. When you just have dysphoria just about anything seems better than it
>>6109210
That sounds pretty gay desu fampai.
>>6109218
batting cages are fun almost for the soul purpose of working out anger / stress.
it was pretty boring, I was pretty good at it, but I don't consider it the hardest job in the world as long as you pay attention and have decent eye/hand coordination.
Oh dude, I used to get tossed off the ice for "rough housing" with my friends all the time, the security guards at those places are always pricks. After awhile you start to get used to that soreness in your ankles, it also can fun your feet up pretty bad but I never really minded.
I miss being able to skate, I haven't in a pretty long time and I'm sure at this point I'm shit at it.
>>6109221
i get that, used to feel that way too... but the past 3 years have been enlightening... now i just feel like dysphoria is shitty, but at least when i just had to deal with that i could go on 12 mile walks and hikes and wander around wasted as shit every day, and do things i enjoyed...
but being sick i've had days where smoking a blunt in the driveway with friends is too much and i can't even do that for more than 15 mins... can barely sleep or do anything sometimes cuz i can't stand or sit up and laying down hurts
the one thing i can give lyme disease is this one time it fucked up my vision while i was in the shower and all the water that hit the bottom of the tub looked like fireflies that went dancing down the drain... and that was actually sorta beautiful but i kinda just wished it was from drugs and not lyme (just before that my vision had gone really dark, and i could barely see out of my left eye)
but it messes with pretty much everything really, whereas dysphoria at least never took my ability to do shit like wander around in the woods where no one would see me whenever i wanted to
Is it normal for g2cb binders to already be loosening up after just like a month of use? What the fuck. It doesn't bind nearly as good as it did a few weeks ago. What am I doing wrong? Would washing and then drying it in a dryer be a bad idea?
>>6109199
That's just like, your opinion man. Dysphoria sucks hard and all but I can still function like a normal human being for the most part. I'd take it even over any physical problem that has already been crippling me since I was a teenager. But then again if you don't have a debilitating physical ailment or disease that has you in constant physical pain then yeah I can see why someone would think dysphoria is the worst.
>>6109236
i imagine that wouldn't work for me, i play guitar for stress relief cuz i don't have to think at all...
the problem for me is that i have a hard time paying attention if i'm not engaged
lol i had a huge yelling match with the security guard and that's why i was banned... i pissed him off so fucking bad, i was good at that though, getting people really angry (still an, but as a kid i did it for entertainment purposes) i didn't even do anything in the ice... my s/o was in the security office for getting into a fight with some guy on the ice cuz the guy pushed a friend of ours and it pissed him off that the guy pushed a chick like that... i got kicked out for the shit with the security guard that happened after my s/o came out like "i can't leave you alone for a second"
security guards usually hated me though... i had one in hs threaten to kill me once lol she hated me so damn much... she'd get so angry though that it was funny
you could probably get back into it quickly enough, if you could do it before you just need a bit to get used to it again... that's how most shit works
>>6108479
perfect
>>6109319
I wish I had the money to learn to buy / learn how to play an instrument at this point in my life, the only instrument I ever really ever wanted to learn to play was drums though. Played a bit of piano here and there as a kid, but I took lessons which sucked, probably why I never took much of a liking to it.
Dude i dont blame your s/o for what he did, that security guard sounded like a dick honestly.
And yeah maybe, don't think there's really a rink around here though which blows. it'd be nice to have that as a form of cardio since I find pretty much all other forms boring.
>>6109171
I do it but only special occasions like a convention for a cosplay or something. If they're not doing it on a daily/just about daily basis (barring of course the closeted ones) I have no reason to doubt their gender and dysphoria
>>6109426
i can play the piano a bit, it's the only instrument i can read sheet music for and know how to play... with guitar i have trouble with that and can't even
i went for lessons for a few months when i was 13... i didn't care for my teacher though and my parents just kinda felt like it was too much trouble to find me a new one so i taught myself... though i always kinda wish i had started with a left handed guitar cuz i wonder if i'd be better at it... my mother told me i was gonna have a hard time learning cuz i was left handed and how i'd be hard to teach too + left handed guitars are harder to find and if it was too much trouble my parents weren't gonna bother + i didn't learn how to hold a pen properly so i didn't smudge the shit outta everything 'til i was 8 so i figured she was right...
and my bad, i can actually read drum music, but it was never something i could get into... i took a class in my 2nd hs cuz i needed an elective but i mostly just remember the teacher yelling "v-shape" at everyone a lot (cuz of how you're supposed to hold the sticks) and sitting in the lobby instead of going to class
the guitar i've been using lately was actually free, someone gave it to my father last fall...
i have other guitars but 2 are electric so i never play them (i'm too lazy to deal with amps and wires and all that), and another is actually a bit too big for me (my uncle got it as a gift when i was like 15, but i hadn't gone with him to pick it out) i played it for years anyway, but it makes me feel like one of those north korean kids with the giant guitars so i haven't touched it in forever, i actually gotta take the strings off come to think of it
and my s/o's mom gave his drumset away years ago when he first moved in with me to be spiteful (he never really played much, but he might've picked it up) just for free too, never know what you might come across... and you could probably teach yourself, every line of the music tells you which drum to hit
>>6109689
>>6109426
+
how to hit it and then it's just counting + practice... though if you live near people i'd avoid drums
some kid played drums a couple houses down the block from my s/o and i in our first apartment... sometimes it was almost as annoying as people leaving their car alarms going for way too fucking long
yeah my s/o is like that with shit, he gets really pissed off when he sees people not defend themselves and then feels the need to step in...
that just made me think about how i haven't seen anyone rollerblade in years
>>6109171
I think I might be too effeminate to be convincingly ftm. I'm not really feminine though, but I feel like i'm too aloof when i'm tired and involuntarily perform feminine body movements. I become disassociate often and sometimes act melodramatic. I'm really depressed though, I should really just be staying away from people. Friends say they perceive me as "androgynous", but my s/o doesn't think i'm masculine enough to justify calling me the right name.
>>6109270
You're supposed to hand wash and hang it to dry, nothing elastic should ever go in the dryer
>>6109066
I had this
>>6109092
And let me tell you it's like there is no scar at all. Because the incision was made on flesh that's already darkened you virtually cannot tell.
>>6109095
The thing is, Testosterone is much more of a game changer than E is for MtFs, so, like you say, it's very very hard to stay unpassing for long - unlike hons. I guess the idea of the 'Aiden' works well because it's their behaviour that makes them stick out, even if the HRT makes them blend in.
>>6110120
>And let me tell you it's like there is no scar at all. Because the incision was made on flesh that's already darkened you virtually cannot tell.
What kind of surgery did you get, where and by who?
>>6110141
If the procedure has a specific name, the surgeon never actually gave it to me...Or I wasn't paying attention, but I'm pretty sure he never used a specific term. He just said, seeing as you're not too big, we're going to pump up the tissue and your skin should snap back into place within the next couple of months.
I'm not in the US, though, I'm assuming you are?
>>6110092
why would you stay with someone who won't call you by the right name?
>>6110185
Not in the US, but I'm trying to find a decent top surgery solution. I posted here a few months ago about preventive breast cancer surgery (Prohylactic mastectomy) as a possible solution. The procedure sounds similar enough to top surgery but I'm worried about scarring and that the surgeon will refuse to prioritize aestethics, resulting in a botched chest. What you're describing sounds like gyno surgery? How small were your breasts if the skin could snap back into place?
>>6110235
My breasts were really small, 2bh. I wouldn't even have described them as a cup and I never needed to bind - I just couldn't wear anything exceedingly tight-fitting. Yeah, I guess the procedure is the same that they use for gyno. But I think it depends on age as well, obviously, the older you get the less elasticity your skin has so it's not going to snap back as well. I didn't see your original post: is this something you're trying to do to get around insurance issues, do you not live somewhere that allows mastectomy as a form of treatment for GID? I'm in the UK, btw.
>>6110278
You lucky bastard. My breasts are small, but not that small. Sounds like you won the genetic lottery.
It's not for insurance. I'm in Norway and the system is a bit messed up. When (if) I manage to get diagnosed with GID it will still take years to be able to get top surgery. Also, I would like to get the damn meatsacks removed before I go on T (I don't want to look like a man with bitch tits), but that's against policy. Prohylactic mastectomy seems like a good option, especially since I'm a candidate for the surgery, but it's difficult to find good information on the surgeries and end results.
How bad is top surgery scarring for a guy like me who's been cursed with cow tits?
>>6110358
In ftm terms, yes, I've done very well.
All I can tell you is if you have got small breasts then they should be easier to conceal with a good binder - not looking like 'a man with bitch tits', but if you're a candidate for the surgery anyway I suppose it's something worth exploring. I don't know how your health system works, but is it possible to just make contact with surgeons, surely you would need a consultation before having it done anyway? Or would this cost? If you have got small breasts, then the scaring shouldn't be as bad, so if you can, I think it would be worth trying to talk to a surgeon straight up.
>>6110450
Yeah that's what I'm trying to do. I'm waiting for a blood test and if it comes back positive then I will get consultations. It's all free, which is great, but I'm worried that surgeons will be too busy or too arrogant to take the time, and there's always the risk of them labeling me as crazy if I mention anything trans-related especially since I'm not diagnosed yet. .
>not looking like 'a man with bitch tits'
I meant without a binder. I look passable with a binder and clothes, but I want to be able to look at my naked chest without puking. Getting on T and finally getting male fat distribution and hair will be awesome, but the thought of doing it with breasts gives me the creeps.
>>6110507
Worrying about the aesthetics of an operation is not exactly crazy, it's common for cis women to have concerns about the overall appearance. Just make sure you come prepared with the questions you want answering and make sure the surgeons do give you an answer - they do have a duty of care and ought to explain things clearly to you.
>>6110433
Depends how good your surgeon is.
>>6110207
I'm preeverything, I feel like the unreasonable one. I'm committing seppuku soon so it's not like it matters anyways.
>>6110622
This is literally a stupid reason. If you're planning on transitioning then your partner needs to get used to using a new name and pronouns, and the sooner you get into the habit the sooner you get it done.
Trust me, as someone who is now the pinnacle of masculinity, I still get she'd by old acquaintances I've met with recently who I never actually came out to because they just haven't gotten into the habit.
>>6110622
Dump him, there are tons of cis effeminate faggots that barely pass as men, if they are treated like men you deserve that too. Also wtf, at least try to surround yourself with people who care about you before you off yourself. Once the t hits too you'll pass as a man even if being an effeminate faggot is how you like to behave.
>>6110622
>I should really just be staying away from people
>i'm too aloof when i'm tired and involuntarily perform feminine body movements
>but my s/o doesn't think i'm masculine enough to justify calling me the right name.
Honestly, your partner doesn't sound great. They're making it your fault that they won't even try to use your correct name. Ideally you could talk this through, but after seeing what you write I think it may not be something you should want to salvage - If you're so tense all the time you're worried about effeminate body language slipping through and invalidating you to people in your life... Like, I'm only reading into two posts here, but you're on the verge of sudoku so clearly I must be onto something when I argue that yes indeed you should be staying away from certain people - some of the people in your life aren't good for your mental health. You should get some therapy if you're not in it already.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0mAsrA3Fkk
fuking masterpiece
>>6110622
well it does matter though... at the very least, even if you have no one else who's there for you your s/o should be... and to not support or respect you with something this big... you should really rethink shit, that's all i'm gonna say
>tfw boy
>tfw pre-everything trans bf gonna start transitioning
>tfw he still likes me
>tfw i see it tear him up that he's not "trutrans" and into girls
What do I say besides "but I like the benis xDDD" to legitimize his feelings?
>>6112456
ftm trans guys are only really considered truly trans if they like women??? That makes absolutely no sense. I would think that since ftm transguys don't like their own female anatomy then they would want Male partners, or at least that's how I see it. Like for me, I'm ftm and I like guys and pre op mtf girls because I think vaginas look like Arby's roast beef sandwiches and I don't like roast beef.
Also, there's no point in your boyfriend berating himself if he doesn't find women attractive. So what if he likes dudes and not chicks? Who gives a shit? He can't change it, and it's nothing to be ashamed of so stop beefin' about it.
>>6112456
let me get this straight: he thinks he's not "trans enuff" because he's into guys?
these are symptoms of internalized homophobia t bh. liking girls doesn't make you a man, and gay men aren't not men just because they're gay.
he needs to meet/learn more about gay guys. also sometimes it helps to try to really make an effort to learn more about gay history, culture, etc. most guys like this just need time to become more comfortable with their masculinity and how it meshes with their sexuality.
if you're straight it probably doesn't do much for his self-esteem in this area, sorry to say
