Are their any other eunuchs on this board? I'm a 19 year old bisexual male, and I performed an orchiectomy on myself nearly 2 years ago. I often feel like I have no one to talk to about my condition as medical professionals don't understand eunuchs and lump me in with transsexuals (though I initially said I was trans as my cover story after I ended up in the emergency room so that they wouldn't put me in a psych ward or on suicide watch), and even though I can identify with the LGBT community because I'm bi, there's barely any acknowledgement in the community that people like me exist except as a transitional phase for MTFs. Perhaps I come off a bit like a special snowflake - "Well you've never heard of my gender/sexuality related thing but you've got to accept me, talk about me, and put a new letter in lgbtqiapkencpa just for me and my group", but I really don't have anyone to talk to or relate to :(
The eunuch archive is a boring forum, and every other place on the internet about eunuchs is a castration fetish site. Is anyone else out there?
Feel free to ask me whatever questions, even personal stuff, I don't care.
I can post pictures of the day after my self-surgery as proof, but they're not a particularly pleasant sight... The pictures of my crotch right now are fine though I'm just too lazy to post one unless an anon asks.
Pic related; it's me being silly posing for my friend's new camera
How do you deal with bone density issues with no hormones?
did the orchy hurt?
why did you do it?
>>5881899
Health is my biggest concern right now, but I have no insurance so I'm currently just taking various vitamins and one multivitamin for post-menopausal women to help my body out a little. However I just scheduled an appointment with a low cost clinic and I plan on getting on a low dosage of testosterone sometime soon.
>>5881920
why not estrogen you already have the long hair and orchiectomy
>>5881912
Here's how it went down.
I had been thinking about it for months before and even considered purchasing one of those clamps they use to castrate animals (burdizzo). One night I took an excessive dosage of amphetamines, stared at myself in my bathroom mirror thinking about just getting it over and done with. I walked downstairs went into the garage, at around 1am put several hair ties around my ballsack to cut the bloodflow and just fucking did it. Ironically one of the ballsiest moves I've ever made in my life. It would've hurt a lot more had I not been amped out of my fucking my mind. I still remember exactly what the pain felt like, it was nothing I've ever felt before and probably will never feel again. I'll get onto why I did it in a bit.
>>5881927
I tried that for health reasons, unfortunately I am very unhappy with the man titties it produced in such a short period of time, I can't wear even mildly slim-fitting shirts anymore. My GF said it might look like pecs to other people but she's just trying to help me feel better, my arms have not the slightest bit of muscle on them and no one would ever mistake me as someone who workouts enough to have pecs
>>5881890
P O S T P I C S
O
S
T
P
I
C
S
>>5881942
>I did a lot of drugs and cut my balls off
Cool story, dumbass.
>>5881960
well they do look better after a few years but if they started to make you upset (dysphoric) then testosterone is probably your best bet
>>5881976
Eh, it is what it is. Without the drugs it would've ended up the same way as I was not doing them prior to that event and I was still planning on carrying this out to the point where I was listing every step necessary in detail. Which is why when my brain was under the influence and I decided to impulsively perform the operation, I knew exactly what to do and didn't bleed out and die on the floor. In fact the doctor in the emergency room said I had made a very clean cuts and that it looked like I knew what I was doing.
I didn't lop my balls off with a fucking power saw after snorting meth in my garage. (Although it's my fault if this is the image you procured in your head after reading my story.)
>>5881995
but why did you want to do it
>>5882011
Pros: Lowered sex drive, can't get kicked in the nuts, don't have to wear condoms if I'm having sex with women that I know don't have STDs.
I also have a some philosophical/moral mumbo jumbo going on where I don't want to put another creature on this earth and have to deal with their suffering, especially when there are so many orphans who are already stuck here on such a shitty planet. Pardon my cynicism.
Neutral: can't ejaculate
Cons: Some people you want to fuck are weirded out by it (however I've found someone who doesn't mind and actually likes it so not a big deal for me
BTW I still get erections, and I'm about 6-7 inches hard
I'm more of a peaceful and compassionate person now, I used to be the opposite.
>>5882050
That doesn't really explain it though. All the pros you listed are wanted by some men who never even think of removing their balls. Your reasons just don't seem like enough to get over the threshold that a normal man would have when it comes to this decision.
>>5882071
I'm trying to piece together all of the thought process that went into making me want to do it. It's been 2 years and I haven't really thought about "why" I did it since it happened. Give me a moment and I'll share a full explanation.
>>5882078
Ah, I understand then. I've been spending the last few weeks thinking over my past to understand why I made the choices that I did when and where I did them.
Here's a pic I took right now
I really want to get rid of my balls. But I'm mtf (but I also won't get SRS)
>>5882132
how can you be mtf but you are fine with keeping your penis?
>>5882120
You look a lot more male in that pic than the first.
>>5882135
Because I've come to accept that I will never truly be a woman physically. I do want a vag but honestly I feel like getting SRS will turn me into a poor imitation of a woman.
So from my perspective I am a woman mentally, but physically I will always be a trans woman and fundamentally different from cis women.
So why not keep the thing that makes me unique?
But balls are fucking annoying yo.
>>5882160
mostly because it makes it a lot harder for the rest of the world to accept transgender people because we won't get srs and are just stuck intergender. which is guess isn't your fault either, cis people are just too retarded and care too much about parts and words that are so "sacred" to them. thanks for being honest with your answer.
>>5882135
Not the previous poster, but I feel the same way.
I've come to terms with the fact that SRS is nothing but a botch job, and have grown to eventually accept my penis.
Go ahead, try to turn a hot dog inside out and see what the end result looks like.
>>5882138
Better lighting and higher resolution camera in the first pic bring out the fact that I have girl skin from the 6 months I took estrogen. My friend and I were jokingly doing a "nude" photoshoot to test out his new camera.
The second pic was taken on my laptop webcam, and doesn't display my girly skin or hair, and is from a weird angle I used to display my scrotum.
>>5881890
>orchiectomy
>on myself
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Was it as horrifying as that episode of house where he tries to operate on himself?
I want to grab you by your hrt hips and ram your bp until you moan like a girl
>>5881960
Take HRT and then just get a double mastectomy.
You performed orchiectomy on yourself so why would a double mastectomy be so unreasonable?
absolutely post pictures of yourself now, all healed up.
to OP
how much of a dose of the pain med you take before you cut it off yourself? Name and ballpark #s will be appreciated.
how much is the pain? can you describe it in more sensational details?
how much blood was there after the cut? did you pass out or remain conscious?
do you give or receive during penetrating sex? is your penis involved in that?
>>5882173
>Go ahead, try to turn a hot dog inside out and see what the end result looks like.
I'm not a fucking surgeon...
Anyway, the better surgeons (like Suporn) turn the sack inside out instead.
>>5882405
I haven't watched house so I can't compare it to that. It was quite terrifying, in that moment it felt like it was too surreal to actually be happening and that I would just wake up the next day and it would've been a dream.
When I made the first cut into my scrotum I winced at the pain but then I convinced myself that I had too continue because if I already cut open my sack why should I stop? After I cut out the first testicle I convinced myself it would be pointless not to cut the other as I would still have T in my system and I'd just be some guy with 1 ball.
Fuck, I wish I had the guts to cut my balls off. I am just saving for my orchi which is $3,500
>>5881890
Do you actual feel any sexual drive without balls ?
Would never want to do this, not remotely my style, but its a interesting story and nice to hear something represented other then gore castration videos. I've always wondered what those classical eunuch singers of old would actually sound like.
Ahh anyways since you don't have balls doesn't that mean you can stay (relatively) hard for hours and hours? Thats probably cool
>>5883449
hes better to answer this but said eunuch vocalists who were rockstars back in like the 1600-1700s or whatever were desired because they could have sex with multiple women for hours supposidly, i bit softer on the erection front iirc but if your going for endurance i don't think it can be beat lol
>>5883460
Idk, it must feel really weird, not to orgasm
Maybe the effects are somewhat tempered if it's done early in life
I love my balls so much right now tb-h, no offense
>>5883160
I took 90 milligrams of adderall and I hadn't ever used it prior to that occasion. Not a pain med in the slightest but it helped a lot in getting me through it. Technically I overdosed, as my heart rate was near 200 when I reached the hospital and I threw up after I performed the operation (from the adderall and also the pure shock my body went through) I wouldn't recommend using it in that dosage unless you're an absolute madman. I'm allergic to lidocaine and that was my only other available option for a pain blocker so I didn't really have a choice.
Imagine getting kicked in the balls. Now imagine that times 100, that is the initial pain level when you cut the cord. Then imagine the pain of getting kicked in the balls prolonged for an hour after that. That's what it's like.
Everything in the procedure went according to plan, tools were sterilized, bands blocked the blood flow and all the cuts were clean. Right until the very end, when it all went to shit. The bands slipped off after a couple of minutes of my balls being gone. I was right in the middle of trying to cauterize the cords and they slipped right off, and I tried to fix the situation myself but I could feel the life draining out of me and had I not gone to the hospital at the exact moment that I did I would be dead right now.
They said I lost more than half of my blood, I looked like a fucking ghost.
>>5883160
I top and bottom, and fuck people of both sexes. Despite what the internet may tell you, my penis works at full capacity. I have a GF and we fuck regularly. We were basically gay best friends for a long time and we got along really well cause we were both bi with a strong preference for the same-sex. We talked about our homosex desires with each other a lot so it was nice to have someone to relate to. Funnily we both lost our virginity to the same guy. We had some 3 ways with that guy but he turned out to be a total asshole so we started having sex without him. Then we realized we were best friends and we fucked so we decided to just say we were dating. But we consider it to be an open relationship so when the opportunity arises to have homosex with someone we do it. It's a nice setup honestly, the perfect relationship for both of us.
>>5883452
I've fucked for about 3 hours straight once, was really fun. The only issue with going that long is that it's so exhausting, but with the help of a stimulant I can do it. Also you need lots of lube if you're going to go for that long.
Also my orgasms last just a tad longer than they used to.
>>5882530
I'm down as long as you don't say boipussy when you fuck me.
>>5883488
> it must feel really weird, not to orgasm
They do orgasm. They just don't ejaculate.
>>5883609
This dude gets it
>>5883636
you get the same effect if you take androgen blockers. really though living without a sex hormone is pretty dumb because it can fuck up your bones, I wouldn't advise chopping your balls off/blocking t unless you want to go full tranny and get estrogen to fill the void.
>>5883736
I'm glad that you admire me, but I have to admit you gotta have a little insanity in you to pull it off this way instead of saving up the funds for a professional operation.
For instance I'm crazy enough to take the massive risk of overdosing and self-surgery, but just smart enough to have planned it all out and not die while doing it.
Wouldn't recommend it unless you feel like you absolutely must do it.
ooooh castration...
>>5883898
i'm only considering doing it myself as a last resort with the expectation of not surviving at all when things go really really really south
as I need to cut the penis as well as I'm really disphoric on that thing, and that thing's literally a blood sponge
>>5883993
You don't want to cut your dick off, just trust me you don't. Save up for SRS, it's a *way* better option. Very very small chance of death, and you end up looking like a woman downstairs as opposed to an action figure.
>>5884167
>an action figure
>>5883898
I'm thinking of doing self-orchi, but with the alcohol injection method, are you familiar and did you ever consider it?
It seems like a safer alternative
I don't want to mess with my scrotum, because I want srs in my future .
>>5884167
I want to though, ever since I was in like 4-5th grade (back then, before puberty hit, was just the shaft though without knowing what the testes will do)
the only upside of SRS is an imitation hole so that I can be penetrated other than the back one. I won't ever be pregnant like a genetic woman so unless I have a sexual partner then it doesn't really matter
ones I am attracted to are married so no touch there. ones who hit on me just want to fuck me as a twink which i absoulutely hate
I am attempting to get SRS again jumping through a lot of hoops. I'm already tired from the ones just to start the HRT. I'm tired. I just want to get this "thing" out of me one way or the other before I freaking die.
>>5883993
Get srs. Not only are you not going to kill yourself, I'll bet that the barbie doll option is still going to make you feel bad.
>>5884523
I'm not a barbie doll though
I'm fugly to begin with and still fugly
barely any boobs at all even with HRT
wide shoulder, big bone structure, towering height, big feet fundamentally cannot be changed
at best 50/50 in passing, 5% at best in my race
having an imitation virgina will never ever relieve my dysphoria of never ever be able to be pregnant and conceive biological children as a female
the void is not going to be filled no matter how good it looks, it's not the same as the equipment genetic cis people has
>>5884596
I don't see how fucking up one additional thing because other things can't be fixed makes any sense at all
>>5884603
okay, imagine im a trans man top with good musc passing look
no matter how many surgeries i go through at the bottom part, no matter how good looking that new penis is, no matter how the strap-on can satisfy my partner, it will never be the same as the bio-penis a cis-man has
sensation, sperm, it's not the same
now reverse that, me as a fugly musc 50/50 look trans girl with a good looking new bottom part that resembles a virgina
no matter how hard my man cums in me with all his load and bang every single day for a whole freaking year, i will never get pregnant
there's no uterus, no eggs, just a hole that still reminds me of how I will never have biological children the same way as a cis-female can
when i probably will be dying a virgin seeing as all the ones I'm attracted to are married men that I keep off, there's not that much difference in outer apperance between full obliteration and SRS when no one's gonna pull off my freaking panties to see what's inside
>>5884824
We all learn to live with that. I know enough infertile cis women to realize there's more to life than this.
i'm not a true eunuch but I got my balls smashed in by a football when I was 12 and I think maybe that's why I never properly went through puberty
I'm soft, short, hairless, gyno, arthritis pain in my hips when I walk, small peepee, depression, etc.
i should see a doctor lmao I haven't seen a doctor in years
should i just get pretty pills? i mean, fuck it
>>5881920
you are fucking crazy but whatever
look into SERMs if you want to minimize gyno and preserve bone density
without any sex hormones you will have lots of health issues
>>5884878
and why havent you done it yet? what the hell
>>5884878
go see a doctor about that pain and possibly have your levels, crushed testes, painful area checked
hormones (if you desire) will depend on how you identify yourself as, your sexual orientation, your outward expression and needs
ask yourself the above questions and if you need more help figuring out ask your doctor to get a referal to a therapist to work it out with you
>>5884824
the comparison is between SRS and just lopping the fucker off. it'd be like instead of getting the shitty ftm surgery you just sew a hot dog on your crotch
>>5885311
Thanks for the advice my man, never heard of SERMs before but they look useful.
>>5885634
how about this then
a trans-guy with his virginal opening sewed up so he won't get penetrated there
vs
a trans-guy that just leave the virginal opening as is but never ever let himself get penetrated there due to dysphoria
compare that to
trans-girl who opt for total obliteration as she hate the penis and thinks she is not likely going to need a virginal imitation to be able to get penetrated there anyway due to reasons like lesbian or really unlikely to get fucked if ever
vs
trans-girl who opt for SRS with virgina imitation that while she hates touching the penis pre-op, she also consider the new hole as just an inverted penis and will not ever use that new hole ever due to dysphoria
I've read news of uterus implant so sure SRS with inversion might be worth it for me totally IF the procedure comes with that implant too but those uteri most likely gonna go to those cis-women with problems first before even hitting trans-girls, and who knows how long they can perfect that procedure without complications/rejections
it's roughly the same reasoning as trans-guys getting the pump-up penis or seeing it as inadequate to their standards and forgo the procedure
>>5885792
They seem expensive though.
>>5885799
i mean do what you want obviously, it's your body. but i still think you're miscalculating, particularly from your last sentence
>>5885812
Ralista ~30bux/mo (60mg pill daily)
Nolvadex is even cheaper
>>5883452
>I've always wondered what those classical eunuch singers of old would actually sound like.
There's a recording of one, but it's really bad quality since the technology was new and the guy is old and his voice is all used up at this point, just saying in case you don't know
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alessandro_Moreschi#Recordings
>>5882120
It actually looks better than some surgeons I've seen who IMO butcher this job I need this so bad my balls have destroyed my life.
>>5881995
I sort of vaguely imagined a cleaver or some shears or something actually
some kind of big primitive cutting tool, at any rate
