Have you ever been to a support group? How was the experience?
I guess this mainly applies to trans people here.
There was a thread ranting about this the other day. OP said most of them were hons and "demi boy" girls dressing up like boys with tumblr pronouns. Some of them brought their moms. A few of them were younger mtf's who physically passed but had shit voices.
>>5697011
It's generally 90% unpassing trans women, 5% trans men, 5% passing trans women, in my experience.
It can be awkward, but the people can also be very sweet and supportive, so if you're not judgemental then you might get something out of it.
If you are somewhat passable or at least put effort into passing then you may get a real big boost in confidence by going to one.
>>5697044
I agree with the distribution of the people.
However I find that the unpassing trans women dominate conversation and some of them are kind of obviously fetishists who care more about fitting their ideal of what a 'woman should be like' and making sure everyone else knows how much they fit it rather than getting on with their lives. It's like they get some kind of satisfaction out of their perceived suffering or experience and care more that people know they're trans than anything.
Of course, my trans support group includes anything 'inbetween' people who identify as female or male which can be annoying because of fucked up pronouns.
Basically you learn that trans people are about the same as everyone else; meaning they have the same distribution of stupid bullshit as everyone else does. Selfish people who like hearing themselves talk and glorify the trans experience like it's a fucking miracle are slightly more in number. Overall did not like the experience because 90% of it was stuck listening to some hon glorify her trans suffering like non-passing is a good thing.
I'm joining one on recommendation from my therapist. It's arranged by a psychologist and it's for people with dysphoria aged 13-30. Which is a huge age span. I hope it skews older in practice. Giving it a shot, at any rate.
>>5697182
>I hope it skews older
That's absolutely the last thing you want, unless you're a hon yourself.
For my sexuality? I've been to a few youth spaces for LGBTs and it's a mixed bag. There are lots of chill people it's p fresh for the most part
Never been to a trans-only one (because not trans), but have been to a couple of LGBT ones (I'd assume trans ones would be similar):
>Mostly tomboy lesbians with multicolour hair.
>Some femmy gay "guys".
>I think some people were trans; couldn't tell if just ultra-stereotype or in early stages of T.
>Literally just myself and a few others who didn't fit the stereotypes.
>Lots of catty bitching about the evil "straights" and how great [insert shit-tier modern musician(s)/diva(s)] is/are.
>Fairly sure most of them were studying drama.
It was fairly cringe, but on the plus side the people there were very non-judgmental. If anything, it let me get a lot of stuff off my chest.
6/10 would recommend if needed.
>>5698010
>That's absolutely the last thing you want
Why?
>unless you're a hon
I'm on ftm easymode. I'm 21. I generally prefer to talk to people a little older than myself.
The group's not starting up for a while, but when it does I'll probably report back in trans help general.
>Have you ever been to a support group? How was the experience?
Visited two groups. Group 1 had a destransition, one suicide, one attempted murder suicide, two drug busts, one arrest for child sexual molestaion, and two furries.
The second had WORSE outcomes.
>>5697011
Went to one for the first time last week. Pretty mixed feelings resulted. All the white transwomen were hons who didn't bother with voice training or makeup and the black and hispanic transwomen actually tried to pass but were ghetto as fuck. There was one black transwoman who didn't really try to pass and was suing her former employer for discrimination because they wouldn't let her use the women's restroom. She was obviously a drama queen and the kind of person who thinks everything and everybody is transphobic.
I wanted to meet other MTF people who could give me advice about transitioning but it doesn't seem like any of them would be helpful.
>>5698010
>Wanting to be in a "support group" with 14 year olds.
>>5697011
Has anyone every had a good experience with one of these?
Never heard anything but awful ones
>>5698865
The two I went to were traumatic. I think the best bet would be to make some friends of whichever sex you're transitioning to.
>>5698812
4chan is the best support group for advice on transitioning to be quite honest
>>5698849
>wanting to be in a "support group" with hons talking about their fetishes
>>5697011
I keep hearing about horrible groups, but the one here is nice. Mostly younger transitioners. A good mix of MtFs and FtMs. FtMs are on the younger side. A number of the group are still in HS, some in college, and the bulk are young adults somewhere in the first few years of transition.
Our fearless leader does a good job of keeping the group inline, on topic, and letting everybody have their say when there is something needing to be discussed. Otherwise she lets us dissolve into chaos and discuss whatever is of interest. It is operated as a safe space. People who are disruptive are asked stop their disruptiveness, or leave.
I go to my local one every month. I met my GF in there, actually. Mostly it's the same 3-5 hons but they're good people so we keep going back. It's pretty cool to be the punk kids in a room with a bunch of 50-60 year olds and be equals. Anywhere you go it'll probably just be a handful of hons that hang out outside the group together and just keep going for shits and gigs but they're good peoples.
>>5697011
>Have you ever been to a support group?
Yes. When I was struggling to come to terms with my gender identity I went to four different ones trans support groups.
>How was the experience?
Terrible, and honestly I postponed my transition because of the experiences. At three out of the four, I was the only person to show up. So it was just me and a hon (in every stereotypical sense of the word). The hons were pathetic, sad, and hideous people. I wanted to be nothing like them.
Before you roast me for judging others by their appearance, let me clarify some things. The hons were not people I would look up to if they were cis either. The ones I encountered at these support "groups" were often very poorly educated. Their world views were glaringly flawed. Plus their lives were sad pathetic wrecks of poverty isolation, and stigma. Speaking with them only fueled the feelings of hopelessness that I was already feeling.
I was mortified by them, and their words only served to push me further away from my inevitable transition.
This was all circa 2007 and 2008. I'm sure things have changed since then as transgender has gone "mainstream." But for me at that time, this was all that I had. I didn't know about 4chan, reddit, or any other online social network (aside from myspace and facebook, which both felt fake and superficial to me, but even still I didn't know of any trans groups on them). I was kind of an internet noob, and really back then most people were. It was a time before we just "Googled" everything like we do now.
I was mostly just trying to uncover the whole mystery of transgenderism. I had been told by some LGBT group on campus that trans people take hormones and get surgery, but I didn't really know what all of that entailed. It didn't help that I came from a very conservative place as well.
So yeah support groups were the only thing I really knew to look for as my next step in trying to transition. I really hope things are better for young people now.
>6 months ago
>18, 10 months hrt
>go to trans support group against better judgement
>get there early, door is closed. decide to wait in hallway
>there's a a guy in a business suit sitting on the stairs.
>he has short hair and stubble so I assume he's probably not with the group
>oh well I'll just wait here I guess
>lean against wall and pretend to doodle on my phone so he doesn't interact with me
>get a better look at him
>terribly applied hot pink lip stick and smeared nail polish
>gives me a cheshire cat grin
>starts talking to me and tries to show off his heels
>clearly can't walk in them
>they're like 3" max, not even that high
>complains about how he can't get anyone to accept him as female
>could swear he has an erection
>leave and never come back
Not really a support group, but I went to an FTM-only meeting recently and it was pretty chill. No transtrenders either.
>>5700691
Wait a goddamn hot minute, was this in Australia? Because I swear I have meet this person at my group.
>>5701019
No, I'm in America.
>>5701019
Was it a short/stocky asian guy? Could be the same person.
>>5701192
No, he was white.
But goddamn there must be one in every group across the world.
You go to the Sydney one pham?
>>5701253
That's a shame. I've felt the same way every time I've gone. Yet I still keep going.
Maybe it's rude to say but I like using it as a barometer of how my transition is going, seeing how I pass compared to the others. So far miles ahead of most but there are like a few there that are in another league, like I thought they where cis (at a trans meeting)
>>5698678
Please tell us about the 2nd one.
Also where do you live that you have these fucked up people?
>>5701272
yeah... it's occasionally good and I've made one super close friend so far and a few acquaintances.
it just really annoys me how many old people show up (40+) like just go to your own group ffs. there's around five of them that tend to dominate every discussion and so every group's basically just listening to their badly trained voices while they talk about inane crap.
heh me too. but desu i'm yet to see anyone there who really *passes* (apart from the old facilitator).
what do you look like? my friend's trying to make me go to the next one so if i see someone who looks like you i'll say hi :)
>>5701337
You should come to the next one, I really need to make some real life trans friends (currently have zero)
And I'm pretty hard to miss, I have outrageously curly hair.
>>5697011
>How was the experience?
Not great. The group to which I used to go was mostly populated by much, much older women. With two exceptions (one of whom was rarely there), there was no one under 40 and not many under 55. Which meant they discussed things like changing the name on your deed. I was two years too old for the younger group.
What was worse is how it was run. The organizer had a policy of "raise your hand and I'll call on you" which would have been dumb even if she had good peripheral vision or could tell when someone was or was not done talking. I remember that during the opening announcements she'd always say "After the meetings, we like to go to Mimi's for some dessert or a cup of coffee or something... I've found that because of the unstructured format, we often make much more progress there..." but she apparently never thought to port that much more successful model to the meetings themselves. She always smelled stale and while I don't have concrete proof, I think she peed standing up. Oh, and she only had one outfit which must have been at least six years old.
She was getting close to retiring and the person who was planning to replace her managed to have even worse ideas. She was one of the original 22 members of Transsexual Menace, she never let us forget, so she was planning to run the meetings the way the very first transgender support group was run: as a twelve-step program. I stopped going.
I went to one meeting of a group a county over. It was uncomfortable. One guy monopolized the conversation and I'm sure he'd have a "die cis scum" tattoo if he could afford it. He kept shooting dirty looks at the perfectly nice cis guy who was there to learn.
>>5699212
>wanting to be surrounded by young transitioners who pass flawlessly
No thanks. I have enough regret already.
>>5701343
i'll try, but i'll need to get off work early so it's a bit of a bother.
i'm ~5'7" with long black hair and my friend's a bit taller with brown shoulder length hair. we're both white/early twenties so you'll probably spot us fairly easily. i think she said she was going to the last one but she's a bit flaky so i'm not 100%.
oh can you give a bit more info? i've seen a few people there with super curly hair.
>>5701447
Sounds like I might have meet her last meeting. Does her name start with W? Anyway I'm like 5'10 skinny and my name starts with C.
>>5701514
nope, she goes by a boy name that starts with a d.
I try to be involved with the trans community on campus, I've met a lot of cool people through it. Highly recommend it unless you're one of those allergic-to-social-justice types.
I'm cisco but very curious about trans people. Would it be a bad idea to pretend to be trans and go to one of these groups? I know enough about trans stuff to not raise any flags.
>>5701282
Second one had the DIE CIS SCUM kind of political activists, with a hyperagressive, YOU NEED TO GET ON HORMONE THERAPY NOW OR YOU WILL COMMIT SUICIDE to every single person there, and shifted into recruiting people for a multilevlel marketing thing selling herbal crap. THESE ACTIVATED HORMONE PROTECTORS WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE. TAKE THEM OR YOU WILL TRANSITION BADLY AND BE MISERABLE FOREVER.
I'd rather not go into too much detail on the specifics of where. I've probably given up too much information already. Even trans furries accused of child molestation deserve some privacy.
>>5701575
Yes. Do not pretend to be trans. But talk to one of the facilitators and ask if you can drop in.
>>5697011
Once, me and my bf were the only guys, the rest were 8 lesbians.
Bf knew my power level.
After the meeting he finally agreed with me when I told him that women are inferior and undeveloped mentally and morally, and that non-euro women are the worst because of their inferior genes or culture, take your pick.
>>5701575
There are plenty of groups that let cis people in. Just make up some sort of lie like one of your family members came out as trans and you had some questions about the process
Went to a youth lgbt support group in my city a few times.
It's okay, mix of holier than thou gays, political Ftms, mtfs who will never pass (including yours truly), and the occasional blue haired lesbian (not light blue, like the French film, dark blue like the tumblrinas)
>>5697044
The trans group I go to is like 90% passing trans guys
>>5700334
I like you anon. I wish more people on /lgbt/ were like you.
Yes. A trans woman who I had previously defended to my friends who thought she was ugly and creepy deliberately singled me out because I wasn't on hormones yet and mocked me to my face. I didn't go back.
>>5702181
I went to a group with a trans furry and her creepy culty bf. I stopped going bc of them. Curious if this is the same one.
You in PA by any chance?
>>5701383
How the fuck would you apply the twelve step program methods to a trans group?
