My dad died yesterday, we had his funeral today. Everyone was crying but I couldn't shed a tear, my dad was my best friend and the best man I had ever known so it feels really weird.
Your cunt
How do people deal with death and loss there?
How did you personally deal with death
>Australia
Everyone comes together, drinks a bit, cries a bit and gives you a pat on the shoulder. Pretty normal stuff like you see in movies.
Me personally I'm yet to find out I guess
A cool thing to do during your eulogy speech is to say "whew time to take a breather" after you're half way through and start jerking off
>>57407702
Bretty similar here, my condolences anon
>>57407702
>so it feels really weird
it's ok there's no rule that says you have to cry over his departure
>How do people deal with death and loss there?
religious rites. it's sort of fake when you think that most of the neighbors just come for the free coffee and cookies distributed among the present
people gather for the burial and 8 days after, then try to do the same every year. the first part is called "vigilia" and the 9 day praying "novena"
my condolences
>>57407748
Kek
>>57407759
Thanks
>>57407876
Are people so cheap that they would crash a funeral for free coffee? That's a bit sad desu
>>57407876
>novena for a funeral
Paraguay confirmed for good Catholics
>>57407702
>25
>never had anyone close to me ever die
>have gone to 4 funerals in my life, in all 4 cases I had spoken a total of 2 words to the person who died
Luck is bound to run out
>>57408422
iktf
>>57408251
>Are people so cheap that they would crash a funeral for free coffee?
and they're all brown to boot. /pol/ is always right
death culture gets even funnier here: when a person wasn't very loved or has few friends you can hire around "professional wailers", some old ladies that will realistically cry for the deceased so his spirit won't feel so wojak in the afterlife. touching right?
>>57408535
>few loved ones or friends
Then who pays for these people? How do I become one? What do they tell people they do for a living
I also didn't cry at my mother's funeral. I just remember the good times. You will feel sad some time in the future when you have your birthday or something you wanted to show or tell your father. You may even cry in your sleep.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2016/04/death-dying-grief-funeral-ceremony-corpse/
>Indonesian funerals
I wish I cried when my grandmother died, she took care of me when my parents left for 6 years.
I just sat there while all her children cried. I couldn't
I think about her and my grandfather a lot, their words their advice and if anyone said anything about them I will always defend them but I couldn't cry even if I wanted to
>>57409054
I'm guessing that is when it will hit me, when my wife pops out our kid and I realize he isn't her to say congrats
>>57409098
That's very interesting, the way people deal with death is so strange. Went to a thing once where people didn't cry, instead laughed the whole time reminiscing about funny stories with the dead person. Surreal
>>57409153
>I wish I cried when my grandmother died
Me too Tbh.
Real talk too, last thing she told me was "Do you have a gf yet"?
Fuck man
>>57407702
>ow do people deal with death and loss there?
>How did you personally deal with death
>>57407702
have no idea
>>57408956
>Then who pays for these people?
no one, they just receive the snacks. they're those ladies that always help at church anyways, and the folk has a belief that a badly departed soul will end up sticking around and haunting the community so they just take the job voluntarily
>How do I become one?
well women get this crying thing naturally so it's hard to describe. basically just make the mariachi noises AYYYYAYYYAYYYYY like it hurts and keep repeating "ERA TAN BUEEEENO AYY" (he was such a nice man) even if he was a complete asshole
fuck me, can't find a video of it happening in my country
>>57409153
>>57409208
like i said, there's no moral obligation to cry
some people are too busy with the preparations, others are just like in this "can't believe it yet" trance. others just don't cry. doesn't mean it doesn't hurt
>>57409208
>"Do you have a gf yet?"
I would have told her to leave at once.
When a family member of mine died and i went to her funeral i recall going through the cemetary and noting just how many different sections there were. Hindu, croatian, muslim, catholic, macedonian, chinese. All these different cultures and they all kinda go through death the same way
>>57408422
This. I just don't know how it feels to lose a close one and it's going to happen soon
>>57410231
When it rains it pours
I feel like I'm going to lose a bunch of relatives in quick succession. It feels weird having aunts and uncles hitting 80 and I have never attended a funeral
I'm sorry to her off your loss, anon.
People here just get hammered and cry. Plus the curtains in your house remain shut for a week.
There's usually a 2-3 wake, then burial or cremation.
When my mother killed herself I was inable to feel emotion at first.
After a while it hit me how much she did for me and I wanted to depart as well.
>>57407702
Quick turnaround for a funeral.
Brother died at 21 of natural causes.
Was terrible for me. Cried like a bitch.
Time heals all things, I can even joke about it now.
average pole attends up to 15 funerals in his life
you get kinda numb after kissing the corpse third or fourth time
>>57411845
The only downside is that it doesn't heal for everyone at the same time. I'm still looking at my depressed father everyday and I'm afraid he's going to hang himself. He jokes about it too often. I lost my grandmother shortly after Christmas. Cremated her the day before my finals.
>My dad died yesterday, we had his funeral today. Everyone was crying but I couldn't shed a tear, my dad was my best friend and the best man I had ever known so it feels really weird.
People react differently mate. I didn't cry at my good friends or my mums funeral.
My defense mechanism seems to be just not ever thinking of them again. It sounds awful as fuck, but I almost never think about people once they've died.
Which is ironic, because being completely forgotten once I'm dead it something I fear.
>>57407702
>>57408535
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXHleozgQ18
>>57407702
My mom died when i was 8. My dad when I was 25.
Im really sorry for your loss,
>>57411891
Joking about suicide is very troubling. You might need to take action.
>>57409054
>You will feel sad some time in the future when you have your birthday or something you wanted to show or tell your father.
People said this to me, but 10 years on and it never happened. I think I'm just dead inside.
>>57411916
you seem to be a pussy
Anyone else find it hard to even remember people who have died? Even if they were a big part of your life?
>>57411916
You can't stop people from killing themselves though.
>>57411946
>>57411957
You can help them. It's often said that suicidal people joke or talk about death and suicide as a cry for help.
>>57411971
help with what, suicide? there are 100% effective ways to kill yourself all by yourself
>>57411971
Help them how? Lock them away in a mental institution? They'll just do the deed when they get out.
Psychology is a racket.
>>57412006
Psychological treatment has been shown to be effective for a wide variety of ailments in countless meta-analytical studies.
I'm surprised, a real thread here.
I didn't cry at grandfathers funeral, I cried before that so I didn't have to then.
my dad died when i was 9. i didn't cry too and
even didn't feel sadness
>>57412017
I'd be seriously offended if my relative told me to seek psychological treatment because he's """concerned"""
it's just a cop-out to make yourself feel better, as you won't see the person anymore - he's be locked up in a safe place, right?
>>57412051
That's because Russians are barbarians, chronic drunks and all round sons of bitches.
>>57407702
People get drunk. Somebody tries to give a eulogy but it's half-hearted and often interrupted with conversation and rude laughter. Arguments break out over petty shit like who is Grandma leaving the house to and everybody swears never to attend another family gathering. The cousins get in a fist fight in the parking lot. Somebody accuses Aunt Erin of having a fag for a son
t. Irish American scum
>>57411971
It also helps dealing with the thought.
As in, you make it seem silly, you get used to it, then suicide becomes quite an attractive solution.
Help the poor man, he probably genuinely needs your help.
t. citizen of a country where suicide is our favourite pastime
>>57411916
He keeps telling me he wants to talk about it. And I'm all ears whenever he does ramble. But he just says it's hard, losing his mother and friend.
>>57412064
Repressing sadness when dealing with grief is a thing you know.
>>57412053
People don't get locked away forever in first world countries.
>>57412080
You should direct him towards someone with actual experience in dealing with loss and grief.
>>57412051
I was never sure if Russian soulless-ness was natural or learned. Now I know thanks
How the fuck do you organise a funeral within a day
>>57412093
ah, so it's ok yo lock someone away for some period of time?
you disgust me, only a culture as soulless as yours could come up with shit like """retirement communities""" and
>>57411612
>close the curtains
such darkness for a week wouldnt help me desu
>>57412064
>>57412096
>le soulless Russians meme
go fuck yourself
>>57412118
Is this really the appropriate place to be scrappy?
>>57407702
>My dad died yesterday
>>57412119
Old traditions
>>57412093
He's way too stubborn for that. I'm only the only one he talks to.
>>57412130
Honestly, you were too young. Kids are pretty selfish.
>>57412025
how did you holdback tears when you saw him? i imagine if youre able to cry beforehand that seeing him buried would be enough of a hit to get you going again
>>57412136
yeah that's what you care about, fucking decorum
locking people in loonybins because they make you depressed
>>57412064
>>57412096
i was almost indifferent, because he did't live with me and mother, I hardly knew him
Helping people doesn't mean locking them in an insane asylum or sending them to see a shrink.
Talking, being with them, helping them find hobbies and just do stuff helps a lot most of the time. Quite a bit of people only need the warmth of someone else, a shoulder to cry for a bit or something to occupy their mind for some time.
>>57412072
this is so sad
If it makes you feel better i know aussies, wogs, asians and all other sorts of people who have had fights break out over inheritances
>>57412177
He's just looking for a fight.
Talking to a professional can be very, very helpful.
>funeral a day after death
Why do new worlders do this? Give people some fucking time, jesus christ.
>>57412207
too passive to look my post in the eye eh
looking at miserable people triggers you? guess what asshole, people have their problems and only subhumans lock people in """institutions"""
>>57412166
>because he did't live with me and mother, I hardly knew him
this changes things. Though even as a child it i doubt youd fully comprehend what was happening. My best friend whos dad died as a kid didnt cry, didnt miss him his whole life until one day he was playing with his son and broke down in tears he told me.
When you lose a parent as a kid you dont feel it at the time usually, it sounds like it hits you long in the future
>>57412184
My Dad basically ran off with everything after my mum died. Managed to lose it all in a thailand scam when he married some woman he met online.
Death is such a fucking shit. Ruins everything. I actually had a functioning family.
>>57412234
What's an appropriate amount of time?
>>57412207
It is but I'm sure most people don't like these professionals and/or don't want to spend money because they don't think it's serious enough.
Be with people, don't invade their space too much and make them want to do stuff or hang out. Helps a lot if professional help isn't what you seek.
Toodles, thread.
>>57412234
>>57412112
>dies in the morning
>notify everybody
>funeral tomorrow
guessing op didnt exactly have people flying to his town to notify
>>57409208
I notice that you guys kind of love your grand parents more than your parents. Am I right?
>>57412290
Eh, I don't believe in self-treating illness.
>>57412274
How old were you when your mum died? seems strange that he would fuck his kids over like that.
If you and your siblings had already moved out and were leading your own lives i dont see an issue, man decided to just change his life and ended up broke and alone, his choice i suppose.
>>57407702
My grandfather passed away about 2 months ago now
When the funeral was held my father decided it'd be only for close family. Which is a shame because a lot of people would have come to the funeral. Unlike my autistic father, my grandfather was popular in his younger days and made connections everywhere.
I didn't cry either, even though I shared a lot of special memories with him when I was younger. Later in his life when he got more and more we sort of just drifted apart. Hell, I couldn't even say a proper goodbye or visit him in the hospital because they dragged him away so fast and put him in the ICU.
>>57412288
My grandmother passed away on saturday and funeral will be on the 20th. Gives people some time to gather themselves, take a day off, and make it. I'm going to help carry the casket... First time...
>>57412310
Wog here, I've noticed this in Anglos in general. Their bond with their parents seems fickle and often pretty shitty which always confused me. I used to think I was weird for not having moved out at 18 after school like all the other Anglo kids, looking back I don't know why I would want to.
Anglos and their parents are a strange thing, it feels like they respect each other, like each other and will miss each other but that love is just not there. Maybe it's just the ones I've met and what I've gathered from 4chan. It's just strange
>>57412393
Casket carrying is great for your core and lats. Take an extra scoop of whey beforehand though so you don't miss your anabolic window.
>>57412407
I'm a wog as well and my experience is the mirror image of yours in America.
>>57412419
I've no idea what you just said but ok.
I barely move during the day, I work at a computer and I sit at home at a computer. Going to start biking again though to get some exercise.
>>57412393
I carried my grandmother's coffin. Heartbreaking.
>>57412393
sorry for your loss. That is a considerable amount of time between the death and funeral, im guessing this will be a big funeral of sorts to require such a long period of time. Or maybe its a normal amount of time and me being from a small town means we have no reason to delay when everybody can gather within an hour.
>>57412419
i shouldnt have laughed but i did
>>57412441
go on /fit/, read the sticky, start lifting weigfhts and start cycling
>>57412437
Its surreal the way anglos deal with their parents. In a way their grandparents are the equivalent of our parents, the ones they show love and affection to, the ones whom they cry more over after their passing and stuff.
I dont mean to be rude but i would never want my relationship with my parents to be like that of an anglo and if i can go one step further, its the worst part of the culture
>>57412333
You look out for them, you don't leave them alone fully as that could end with a rope.
It depends on the person, desu. Some are attracted to others more if they give them space, others are more fond of people that get right in their face. You have to know your person and what is favoured by them.
If you don't know the other person as much, trying to stay at middle ground and trying out different ways is ok, just don't go overboard as it might mess them up if you do what they don't like and try to understand them quickly, so you can decide what to do long term.
Something like this.
Self-treating is a thing. I nearly jumped of a commie block several years ago. Stopped at the ledge after running to a quick fall to death and started working myself back to a 'normal' life. S'all good now. I'm pretty sure I won't ever get back to thoughts of suicide, managed to change quite a bit.
Good, one less shitposter on 4chan.
>>57412547
How do koreans deal with a death in the family?
>>57412517
My parents are "the lady doth protest too much" Italians.
They learned from Anglos that they needed to cut all family ties and forget about their children, so they pay lip service to the social credibility of the ideal, but they can't actually go through with it.
>tfw 23 year old NEET
>>57412567
my parents kept the wog love but learned from anglos not to strangle and coddle their kid so they dont end up a neet (no offence mate).
A mixture seems the best way forward
>>57412595
No offenSe taken, wagecuck.
>>57412472
Yeah. When my aunt and her husband visited her on friday, she asked for me. I keep thinking about it, she had such concern for me. The lonely autist. It motivates me to improve myself and live a good life
>>57412473
It is a bit of time, but sweden is sparsely populated, families spread out naturally. And it also gives time for people to get over the initial shock which I think is good. It just seems weird to have the funeral immediately after.
>>57412407
>Anglos and their parents are a strange thing
I noticed that online too, Americans specially have a really bad relation with their parents.
It's even about moving early, I mean some of us have to if there's no univ/work in your town. But most of our vacations you spend them on your parents house, and it's the house you keep referring to as "home".
On general I think Arabs and Asians are the ones who still have a strong relation with parents, while the rest go from medium to weak relation.
>>57412636
Nah. East Asian parents are notorious for not "loving" their children. There's a stereotype in Westernized East Asians that white parents love their children and East Asian parents don't.
>>57412342
Well I was 18 when my mum died, but 19 or 20 when he said he was selling everything and moving to thailand.
The biggest issue was:
1) My mum clearly wanted us kids to get something.
2) My parents were in the middle of a remortgage to help my sister pay off her credit card debt. Remortgage still went ahead, sister never saw the money.
3) He called me a money grabber when I'd never asked for money at any point, and had in fact lent him £1500 to stop the house being repo'd after he spent a year and a half not working. Did I mention he asked me for the money on my birthday?
4) He never paid for my mums headstone. She was without a headstone until me, my brother, my sister and my auntie paid for one. This was even after he got £40K of insurance money, half of which he spent on a mercedes..
5) He buried my mum when she requested to be cremated. We asked to see the will and he handed us it with 'cremated' crossed out in pen and 'buried' written in. Then he forged my mums signature.
6) We all told him not to trust the woman online and that he'd rob him.
7) He was paying this thai birds utility bills and rent for about a year before he moved over there, and this was all while my sister was struggling with credit card debt. I understand it's her own fault, but if you're randomly going to throw money down the drain at a girl, surely your daughter takes priority?
He's a fuckhead.
I'm 27 now and he's tried to reconnect with me. I told him where to shove it.
>>57412630
I regret not spending enough time with her. She had amazing stories about her mother being a gun runner for the IRB and secret tunnels around Dublin. I won't make the same mistake with my grandparents on the other side of the family.
You only have one chance to.
My grandma died when I was around 12
All I remember is a ceremonial rite in the church(she was highly religious) which was the most depressing thing I've ever experienced in all my life. I remember myself sobbing and my mom telling me that granny is ok in heaven now. Then everyone left to funeral but took me home first because they thought that the actual burial would be too much for me to endure. Then I was playing videogames for the rest of the day.
>>57412624
kek
>>57407702
I think people feel the same everywhere. They cry and shit.
My condolences btw. Australia is a good guy.
>>57412677
Oh, and when he started getting behind on mortgage payments he tried to give me a bill for £4K, which was the amount he calculated I'd cost in 'free rent' since the day my mum died.
I'd had a full time job for only 2 months at that point..
>>57412681
Yeah. Thankfully, I don't feel regret, as I did visit her occasionally. Maybe I should've visited more often, but it felt weird going to the old people's home by myself. But I did visit on tuesday, and I talked to her then about some things, so I feel content about it. I also talked to her a lot in years past about her growing up, her divorce, etc.
She was an amazing person. Super strong and principled. Hated Olof Palme with a passion, heh.
>>57412677
>>57412710
ok i take back what he said, to disrespect his wifes memory like that is nothing short of disgusting
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva_(Judaism)
I think this is a really good Jewish tradition. It helps you deal with grief.
>>57412811
this sounds like a very nice custom, i wish we could implement it here
>>57412692
>>57412706
thanks russia. It seems people around the world take death in similar ways
>>57412811
I had to do this once for a Jewish friend. Was odd because I'm a rabid anti-semite.
>>57407702
>How do people deal with death and loss there?
funerals and shit I guess
>How did you personally deal with death
skipped my grandfather's funeral, only experience I ever had with him was when I was young and he was yelling at my mom Ï„bh, never bothered to get interested in my life
my dad is probably dead by now, never kept up with him
my mom probably only has a few years left because she doesn't look after herself well but I don't want to accept it
I'll probably break down when it happens and be put in a nuthouse for a while
>>57407702
i really hate my father, so it would be good riddance
>>57407702
Sorry for your loss, OP.
My dad died when I was 13, almost 13 years ago. It's really fucked up that come this October, I've gone a longer time without him than I've known him for. Although he had quite the temper and he was a short man, he was beloved by many, hundreds of people attended his funeral. I can't quite remember if I cried, I know that I wanted to appear strong in front of everyone, since I knew that from that day on I was going to be the "head of the family", helping out my mother and setting an example to my little brother. In the first few years we went out to visit his grave almost every day, then every week, then every month, and now it's only on special occasions. I still have dreams where he knocks on our door and welcomes us with great hugs like nothing happened and that's when I'm the happiest.
>>57412880
>>57412857
It should be noted that the wikipedia article notes all the ultra autistic special rules, but in most secular households it's pretty much just a 7 day long mourning period where the main mourners get to rest.
>>57407702
Takes a while to sink in m8.
I lost my dad to cancer last year an didn't cry at the funeral. Have only cried three times since he died, mostly it's random desu. Don't feel like you have to cry but don't be afraid to cy either. Thanks to TV and films people think grief involves crying for a bit then going back to normal, it's nothing like that.
>>57407702
>>57413142
Oh also sorry for your loss mate, not that saying that makes anyone feel better.
>>57412407
Sounds about right and it's getting worse. My mum and dad were always working so I always had nannies looking after me. I bonded with my dad who died last year since I saw him more than my mum, but never really felt close with my mum until dad died. I have always hated her personality though, I love her because she's my mum but she really pisses me off.
I feel like families spend so much time working, and expect schools to bring up their children for them instead of doing it themselves that familoes aren't that close.
>>57412234
Varies here but it's normall at least a few weeka.
My condolences OP.
Im probably going to find out soon, my grandfather who has cancer was just driven to the hospital as he is in pain and cant urinate..
Ironically he used to laugh it off and say doctors cant get sick.
Italy
First you go to the morgue and sat goodbye (open coffin)
Relatives follow the "funeral carriage" car to the church, other people are already there. We do mass, and then follow again the car to the graveyard. It ends there.
Death is seen as something private in the north, but I heard that southerners have huge gatherings that are basically Roman banquets
Forgot to share personal story
My grandmother died in 2012, she lived in the same house as me and I was very close to her. I was really sad but tried to keep my shit together. I didn't go to see her body at the morgue because I wanted to remember her as alive and well, I just went straight to church. I dealt with it by accepting her death, because I know she would have wanted me to move on. Also I thought that if my best friend whose parents both died of cancer within three years when he was a teenager got over it I could do so too.
>>57412880
did it make you see them as normal people behind the shekels and stuff?
>>57413037
jesus christ, of all the sad shit ive read off this website over the past decade this somehow has stabbed me.
I hope you set a good example for your brother and became a man your father would be proud of
>>57408251
last funeral i attended served shrimp and lobster canapes, fuck coffee
>>57407702
Reactions are different. If you have healthy strong personality you wouldn't be crying or feel very bad. Cuz you mind can adopt.
>>57407702
Similar to your country. Maybe except the patting part.
I don't feel anything about it now no matter who dies on my social circle and relatives/family but maybe I'll feel something about it later. I would attend the funeral out of respect or a whim but that's it really.
>>57407702
I didn't cry in my father's funeral which lasted for two weeks but when minutes to final burial, I cried like a bitch. Tear just fell down and It's really uncontrollable for me seeing him last time.
Im still depressed about how my relationship with my father went.
>>57407702
death is merely a release from this unending nightmarish hellscape we call life so we don't really overdramatize it here
there's a burial, priest says some things then people meet and basically catch up with distant common relatives / friends, that's about it
>>57412184
>If it makes you feel better i know aussies, wogs, asians and all other sorts of people who have had fights break out over inheritances
Mate, my autobiography would be titled "Wog Inheritance Disputes: The Anon Story". I can't think of a single family from my background who hasn't stopped communicating with relatives because of inheritances.
> Both Grandparents became 80 this year
I don't know how much longer they will last.
I didn't feel anything during my grandfathers funeral. Not everyone needs to be an emotional mess, it's normal to react in different ways.
It's the current year. Merge landfills with graveyards and the trash incinerator with the crematorium.
It's a custom to save a few thousand so your friends and family can have a great feast after your funeral. So we deal with it by stuffing our bellies and getting drunk.
Also people who don't put aside some money for this are seen as greedy cunts and not going to their funeral is seen as ok.
>>57412419
I carried my grandfather's casket, thank you for this laugh.
i dont think i can dig my dad, but as far as i know i should do it as a cultural thing in here. still not sure. anyway he is based as fuck and i dont want to think about the day he dies.
england: Funeral is pretty sad, girls and some close male friends might cry, then afterwards go the pub next to the church and tell stories about the deceased and get absolutely cunted in their honour, the second part has high spirits and people are generally smiling and laughing, I think this is a good thing because now I can always remember my dead friends in a positive light
>>57407702
My family drinks, shares good memories, moves on while remembering the person.
>>57407702
Is it true that in aussie funerals the relatives and friends take the piss out of the deceased?
![10-father-and-son[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OV5oVZs.jpg "10-father-and-son[1].jpg")
>>57407702
Dont worry OP, It'll come to you.
You will probably realize you set that extra plate when fixing dinner, you'll stand in that store due christmas and think of that perfect gift.
Sooner or later you'll reach for the phone thinking about that thing you cant wait to tell your father only to realize he no longer exists.
If you havent already, you will sooner or later have to cope with it, we all have to, its life.
