Who /mischief/ here?
>always drive over the speed limit
>drive on a suspended license
>never wear my seatbelt
>tax evade
>buy drugs from the dnm
>sell cigarette packs to local teenagers for easy money on the side
>be me last week
>backing out of walmart parking lot
>hit and break one cars wing mirror
>quickly drive off
also
>be me 9 years old
>with my dad at grocery store
>wander off to grab a bag of chips
>open it and eat it in the store
>nobody says anything because they assumed I already paid for it and I'm just eating it there
>after im finished I hide the bag in the canned goods aisle and go back to my dad like nothing happened
Did this many times at different stores kek
I was a little shit and I still am desu
Might skip my 11am tomorrow
>please don't litter sign
>still litter anyways
I once stole a kinder egg when I was 9 years old.
Mischievous anon checking in
>never seed torrents
>always remove USB sticks without ejecting them first
>keep my sauce bottles in the cupboard despite the label telling me to refrigerate after opening
>loiter despite no loitering signs
>jaywalk sometimes
I once stole a friend's pencil. Was scared for three months straight someone would find out.
>>57357725
>be taking a massive shit at mcdonalds restroom
>clog the toilet
wageslaves btfo
I sometimes park my car so that it's inside my spot but makes it hard for people to get out of their car if they park next to me.
>>57357725
You mean "who a /degenerate retard/ here"?
>>57357968
Finland bringing the autism as usual
I try to wish a few people a good day and not mean it each day
>mfw unpaid traffic ticket from three years ago
>moved to a different state and they couldn't do a thing
policecucks on suicide watch
I once paid my cup of coffee with unnecessarily small coins, making the cashier's day temporarily slightly less good
>>57357725
I don't tip and make sure never to vlsit the same restaurant twice
>>57358088
>I don't tip
So?
>>57357905
wtf I hate new zealand now
>>57358051
savage
>mfw I would hate all of you IRL
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>57357877
>a kinder egg
fucking madman
>post ad on Craigslist looking for a black bull to fuck my wife
>told him we're both white because he loves white girls
>my wife is actually a light skinned Hispanic
Lmao I sure tricked him.
>bike through red traffic lights
>took a usb drive that I found in a closet at school once
>stole another kid's marbles on the playground once
I'm bad to the bone
>>57361596
DELETE THIS
>find out about this one skinny wimpy socially awkward poor guy working at McDonald's in some shithole town and making YouTube vlogs about his life on Polish chans
>have a good laugh at this loser
>have free time
>get a train to his shitty town
>enter his McDonald's """"""""""""""""""restaurant""""""""""""""""""""
>check out if he's in there
>yessss
>go to the toilet
>it's empty
>take a massive dump next to the toilet bowl
>put on my best disgusted face and go to the restaurant's menager
>this little youtube faggot actually made a video about it with tears in his eyes
>posted it on every polish chan
>anons bullied him to the point he removed the video
>gf dumped me
>feels bad man
>know a friend of mine has difficulties in his long relationship (he and his gf moved to different cities to study)
>his gf's a qt
>start flirting with her online
>convince her he's not good enough for her
>he gets envious of me
>I discretely feed his paranoia
>I tell his gf how paranoic and aggressive he is, she thinks she should dump his ass
>they end up fighting about me, he gives her an ultimatum - me or him
>she chose me
>I ended up dating another girl a month later anyway
>no regrets
>drive home from work late at night
>drive in the wrong lane sporadiously for minutes at end with the headlights off hoping for a truck
>elementary school
>walk home with a friend
>plug neighbors cars exhaust with a pinecone
>he moves away few weeks later
I kinda hope he didnt lose a job because he couldnt drive there and isnt homeless now :DDd
>be 7
>visit friend
>play around a while
>time to leave
>was obsessed with hotwheels
>before I leave I nick his hotwheels
>he didn't notice
I-I'm sorry
>>57357819
U sound cute :3
>>57357725
>never wear my seatbelt
I'm glad Darwinism exists to eliminate retards like you from the gene pool.
>My government wanted me to pay my taxes
>I didnt
>>57365598
I see you were THAT kind of kid
>don't get dubs
>i get dubs
>>57361340
That's new guinea retard
>closing the elevator doors just as someone tries to come in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4RmKr2Kz1M
>>57357725
>be me
>edgy teen reading Nietzsche
>Decide morals are for plebs
>shoplifting constantly, clothes, booze, electronics etc.
>get away with it for years
>Edgy friend gets arrested in a store while I was in the bathroom
>goes to jail for burglary
>realize actions have consequences and stop.
>>57357725
>pouring the milk into the bowl before the cereal
>>57366124
that's just a waste of good cereal
>>57366124
I don't get why people get so mad over this. Stir the bowl and it's the same thing.
>>57366064
>about to get out of lift
>press all the floor buttons and run out before the perplexed normies can do anything
devilish
>>57357909
Then came the bikes..
>Be 8
>Me and friend link up our gameboy color's to trade pokemon
>Promise to trade back a week later when done using each others pokemon
>I delete my save file so he can't have his back
>Tell him my sister broke my cartridge by throwing it into sand
>>57366170
You can't fit as much cereal in if you do this, and it might spill.
>>57366170
IT'S NOT
>sitting on the bus, it's pretty much full
>pregnant lady gets in and my seat is the obvious choice
>don't get up
>she has to sit in one of the meme folding seats that face sideways
>be me in high school
>go to computer lab
>some dumbass left his jewtube account open
>proceed to delete all his uploaded videos, favorite videos,etc leaving the account in blank
>go to doctor
>mandatory questionnaire thing you have to answer asks me if I'm sexually active
>tick yes
>I'm not
I punched a turk in the face once because the kebab tasted like shit and I was drunk. Eventually the police came and helped me. Now they're gone.
>>57366652
you got him good anon
>whenever I need a clean plate or a cup I just go to the kitchen and get one
>stack dishes in my room for days
>family runs out of dishes
>say I have none
>leave the dry, dirty dishes in the kitchen sink at night
>take a shit in a public restroom
>don't flush
>in HS canteen
>food is shit
>can't return the tray till the plate is empty
>friend goes to the toilet
>empty my plate on his
>walk away
>>57357725
>>57357855
>>57357874
>>57357943
>>57358036
>>57358088
>>57366099
>there's this one lanky kid in my class
>he's pretty damn stupid
>also pretty damn lowlife, real white trash like, very uneducated, no morals
>befriend him a little
>he's so dumb you don't even have to manipulate him
>make him into my minion
>for the rest of the year he goes and steals things from other kids for me
>doesn't even ask for anything in return, basically he's just happy to serve me
best thing he brought was a psp, a nintendo ds and all the pokemon ruby sapphire and emerald games
also one of those fancy phones, i sold that to my local pakpak
and no one ever suspected a thing
thanks m8
heavy shoplifting desu boys
I work night shift and go around sniffing the office chairs of the hot girls
>Go through Canadian border
>doesn't declare the beer
>>57366682
haha laughde
>>57367366
fuck loser swap those numbers for a job
>>57357905
>keep my sauce bottles in the cupboard despite the label telling me to refrigerate after opening
Tomato sauce in the fridge is a sure sign of a fat, fairy poof.
>>57367183
reminded me this
>HS canteen
>have to return plates
>one day we just get up when nobody is watching and run away leaving the plates on the table
>>57368583
Holy shit why would you do such thing?
>>57368583
we did this once
then they launched an investigation as if we left a fucking bomg there and one of my "friends" ratted us out
almost got expelled
great times
>>57368952
>then they launched an investigation as if we left a fucking bomg there and one of my "friends" ratted us out
wtf
Czech ppl are normally so chill
>>57369051
Old people, eg. teachers, still have fud-related PTSD from Soviet days. Fud is srs bsns to them.
>>57369248
>Old people, eg. teachers, still have fud-related PTSD from Soviet days
but bread queue is best queue
>>57369051
well people in HS canteens are special breed of dickheads
I almost got expelled when I got fed up one day and told the cook that the food looks like shit and smells even worse
pic very related
>>57369319
Nice meme, there was no bread queue, only banana queue
>>57357725
only break one law at a time
>>57369362
vomitacular
>don't pay for the public transport
>they keep sending me tickets that i need to pay
>get a court invite
>tell em i'm poor as shit and i don't have the money to pay them back
>they let me go
>get another ticket
>Apply for job with credentials I don't have
>Get interview and somehow manage to not spill my spaghetti
>Email today telling me I made the final 5, and to come in for another interview later this week
>"Oh, and could you bring in your certifications and grades?"
>Halfway through making a forgery because the only other way out is to intentionally bomb the interview
>>57369920
easiest thing ever just find an original and edit it
you can just do it on paint seriously
just zoom all the way in and make sure you replace pixel by pixel so it doesn't look off
>>57369920
>because the only other way out is to intentionally bomb the interview
Or email them back and say, "sorry nigga, I got another job offer that I'm going with, but thanks for the opportunity, catch you on the flippety flop!~"
>Be a kid
>Friend want to borrow PC games from each other
>He borrowed some obscure formula 1 games
>I end up with several Lucas Arts adventure (Monkey Island 3, Grim Fandango)
>Never exchange back
>fare evade on public transport (haven't used a ticket since I was a kid)
>if I ever get fined I keep asking for extensions (I currently have one fine outstanding from July last year)
>shake up coke bottles at supermarkets
>put expensive meats through the self checkout as potatoes (if I ever get caught I just play dumb)
>entire resumé is one big lie
>often end up with phones in my pocket after a night out at a bar
>work as public transport driver
>leave stations before the set time
>sell tickets to tourists but dont tell them how to use them so they end up with fine
>make it appear like I am waiting for runner only to close doors before they face
>when I find some lost shit in my vehicle I just throw it away to avoid having to fill lost and found forms
>>57371628
>>make it appear like I am waiting for runner only to close doors before they face
there is a special place in hell for people like you, trami
>>57371628
literally satan
>>57371628
>there is a special place in hell for people like you, trami
i too believe this to be trami
stop funposting while driving, trami
>>57371628
>>57371628
I fucking hate you
>be on icelandic spa
>jewed prices
>they sell their luxury vulcanic spa soaps and lotions for jewed prices too, use the same stuff in self dispensers in the spa as a sample
>suddenly janitor comes by, unlocks storage with 1L refill bottles, leaves
>figure they owe me for entry fee
>fill my entire backpack until its hard to carry
>had to throw most of it for flight to NY anyway
>buy candy
>checkout guy doesnt split my change right
>he now owes me ~1/2USD or 50 euro cent
>steal a banana
>leave satisfied
>Friends once dared me to lay down on the floor
>>57372317
jaj'd subtly
>>57371628
>>make it appear like I am waiting for runner only to close doors before they face
>>57371628
I respect you.
>be child in guinea-bissau
>vulture lands on a roof on the opposite side of the street, eyeing the results of my hunt
>it's illegal to kill them
>shoot it anyway
>officer shows up and starts questioning people
>leave
>see lady carrying pot on her head down the street from my window
>shoot the pot
>she runs away while screaming
>>57371628
You are the most devilish person her but in the same time I can see why you do this. You are a cool guy
>>57371628
wtf I hate the Czech Republic now
I once put a piece of litter under a windshield wiper of someone's car so that he'd momentarily think that it's a parking ticket
>work as information science teacher in trade school
>kids only browse social networks instead of study
>don't even bother to logout
>shitpost stuff like gay coming outs and drug selling ads on behalf of their names
>>57376668
D E V I L
E
V
I
L
