The lads edition
crayon pop
cara
*unpauses*
Kpop
*poos all over /brit/*
hahahahaa pakis
how do I wew a lady?
>>60544106
pay her
*teleports behind you*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i5ZCu6akPA
>>60544095
good post
wtf is wrong with the UK
>>60544106
tell her you have an 8inch chocolate penis that ejaculates money
>>60544143
a-are you still there??
where is my literal 10 gf, that I dont deserve, but will bitterly crave for until I hit the grave?
>>60544143
pow
pow pow pow pow
pow pow
>>60544188
genuinely dont understand what your problem is with this
>>60544106
1. be good looking
2. be over 6ft
3. have average body at best (they wont settle for skeletor or fatty)
4. be confident without arrogance <- probably the most important one
(optional)
5. Have a good job (if you have all of the above then this this point is not necessary)
6. be famous
>>60544247
having sex with a nigger
Hmmm makes you think
I can't stand this heat and humidity lads, feel fucking trapped by it.
charli desu
>>60544279
>Government agents assigned to every child in case they or the parents say something not PC
>>60544095
http://vocaroo.com/i/s09gMLQVGP1R
>>60544307
ugly cokehead paki cunt
>>60544318
where are you getting that from
>>60544022
>Robot Hell isn't the best Futurama song
Feel pretty discontent lads, might quit le job and do some travelling hehe
>>60544307
she looks like she smells of farts
>>60544318
>i want people to get away with abuse
Hmmmmm
>>60544280
0. Be a Normie
>>60544393
>posting your own tweets
>>60544365
new dora? :3
>>60544106
just remembered the lad yesterday who said "kek" and "wew" to his gf or something
wot a lej
Jimin
>>60544135
>>60544206
>>60544280
think i'm just gonna be myself. thanks for the advice, though
>tfw mommy sees your penis
JUST
really makes you think
anyone who shows on hughendon road in wycombe will get their fookin skull caved in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISmmZiuMxyo
CHUNEEEEEEEEEEE
>>60544188
>Scotland
>>60544388
all part of the plan, the state needs to be raising the child to be a strong prole who will support everything it does regardless, as such it need to be with the child even when they're at home
>>60544507
>mommy
FOY
faded im faded off xannies im wasted
>>60544503
never fails
>>60544143
*it was a hologram*
>>60544562
I will fuck you up m8
Only when there's no bottled water left. UK water is hard as shit.
>wash dishes on stainless steel sink
>don't clean or dry the sink top afterwards
>come back the next day
>there are white limescale marks everywhere like someone opened a bag of flour and poured on it
I don't want that shit in my kidneys desu. Will gladly pay for bottled water.
How true is this?
>>60544552
funded by English taxes
innie or outtie
>anon are you a virgin?
any alpha responses?
I won't deny it I'm a straight rider you don't want to fuck with me
>>60544664
Im irgin olive oil
Why do non Brits post in here?
>>60544664
"no"
>>60544645
true if you listen to my parents, especially the closer you get to london
i dont give a single f personally, love the calcium flavour
>>60544664
No.
>>60544664
>are you?
Idk, dodge the question if you can
>>60544645
I drink water like this since birth with basically no issues. Your kidneys can deal with it, and if they can't, well, that's their fault, and yours by extension.
>>60544318
where does it say this
>>60544664
wouldn't you like to know ;)
>>60544664
no fuck off
>>60544475
Yes but it's definitely NOT because of what you said
>>60544664
yes
>>60544664
fuck off you dumb slags I'll destroy both of your fat arses
>>60544693
because /brit/ runs the /int/ '''poomunity'''
>the quran only takes 30 hours to read
hmmm.... now to find one for free.
do libraries have them?
Not sure if I identify as English or British lads
>>60544664
*unzips dick*
>>60544664
depends
do pets count?
>>60544664
no i shagged hannah waheeey
>tfw people call you Paki
REEEEEEEEE MOM WHY YOU GOTTA MAKE ME A FUCKING MIXED RACE REEEEEEE
>>60544693
hilarious gimmicks
>>60544617
you'll have to fuck me first
feel a bit sick after drinking that can of lager :x
>>60544664
yes. leave me in peace you succubi
>>60544693
it can b fun
>>60544617
if you say so
nan died last week. got a cheeky snap from it at least
never talked to her cause she thought i was a loser apparently
how does it feel knowing i just scroll past all your insignificant posts?
actually don't tell me because i won't read your reply
>>60544664
>I won't be in a few minutes
be sure to stare in their eyes while you say it
>>60544693
Britaboos
>>60544812
*fuck me up
>>60544806
>mom
off yourself
is it ever okay to raped a woman?
@60544853
don't try and pass that off as oc
>>60544693
pathetic anglophiles
>>60544814
fancy taking a nap then lad
the 4th picture in your slag folder
post it
thoughts?
>>60544923
Only if she's asking for it
>>60544940
yeah
wanna join me?
haha only joking, or not? haha
*makes long eye contact with you and motions towards the bedroom door*
what happens here? anything interesting?
>>60544812
But everyone knows Nordics are massive cucks so I doubt you'll put up much of a fight
how to get a korean girl to do a poo on you?
>tfw didn't stock up on RC benzos before the ban
J U S T
U
S
T
cum way too fast when fucking and dont know what to do
Literally came in 2 minutes when fucking a tinder girl and she hasnt texted me since.
absolutely fucking gutted that i've finished my banana
was very tasty lads let me tell you
>>60544971
girl just sent me a picture of her pussy
>>60544976
nice
>>60544923
only if they arent white
If you watch anime above the age of 18 you're a serious danger to society and should be put on the sex offenders list. Same goes for you Korean pop kids
>>60544971
>>60544999
Memes and shitposting
>>60544971
Clearly god wills it
>>60544786
That's ok, I do
For Queen and Country desu
>>60544979
>>60544923
or you've already paid for a quick go on her minge (by buying her a few drinks or paying for her meal_
codeine in my blood senpai
shouts out to the shield gang
Makes me physically ill to hear people loudly breathe out as they eat desu
>>60544971
So lads is The 51st State actually a cult film? I always thought it was.
>>60545021
>>60544986
hehe only if we can cuddle
>no homo
>>60545011
Have you tried not being such a fucking loser?
.
>Running check disk to fix my hanging on startup PC
>Check disk hanging on 28%
If I reset my PC in the middle of a disk check will it be completely fucked?
>>60544971
>>60545099
only one way to find out
>>60545083
It's really hairy
>>60545094
already am rich and handsome, so working on it.
been lifting lately as well
>>60545011
FONT
just tried to make an improv post, let my fingers take the wheel sort of thing, just type away, and i just came out with "jew blew" lol
really funny imo
>>60544976
gave me a wee fright, glad hes right desu
Quite fancy learning to box lads.
Seems like an enjoyable sport.
>>60545144
haha
>>60545007
senpai ill make you look lower than a leprechauns nutsack you talk that shit in front of my face outside a bar you cunt
Anyone know how to fix a laptop that doesn't charge? The input has been a bit loose and I had to hold at weird angles till it finally stopped working
>>60545171
really makes xe/zem think
>>60545171
normies line up against the wall
>>60545175
same lad
but seems like 22 is way too late to start
>>60545171
poe
>>60545171
been off for two months cause banned and couldnt be assed.
i bet nova scotia is on right now though
>>60545215
awful trigger discipline
no wonder they lost
I wish yanks would understand that the "fuck off yank" thing is a joke, we're serious. Americans (and Canadians) are incompatible with British values.
>>60545243
>assed
FOY
>you put your knob near her fanny and nature will do the rest, push your fucking bellend into her fanny and there's only one way it can go
>>60545171
these people are mentally ill
Just trimmed my beard right back. Loving this neat feeling desu.
>assed
>>60545284
>puts it in
then what?
you just sit there until you cum?
I'm so fucking BORED at work.
Fucking kill me
little Johnny was a kid who loved sport,socialising and books
28 and never had sex. Incredible stuff.
>>60545275
>Americans (and Canadians) are incompatible with British values.
we're more alike than you think
>>60545337
The face on that.. Yikes
>>60545320
>Not being the boss
>Not messing with your staff for fun.
>>60545344
all yanks are obnoxious autistic smelly
i hate americans
die
>going to pres with m8s
>one of them says plod are doing stop and search because of a recent stabbing
>another asks what stop and search is
>I say 'basically if you're black the police stop you in the street and search you'
>everyone calls me racist
don't really see the racism in what I said tbqh
Nearly big enough lads
>>60545124
>>60544806
>Mother
>Say M""""u""""""m instead
laughing @ you Anon
>>60545275
what about us canadians who aren't just pseudo-americans?
>>60545387
Says the guy who's probably never had a job in his life
>>60545388
delet this desu
favorite sea? caspian for me.
wifes is the black
what do you do when it's inside?
do you push and pull her bum while holding onto her sides like you're riding on a horse and carriage ?
do you move your waist back and forth?
what do I do with my hands?
do you stand or kneel on the bed?
if im standing dont your knees knock the bed frame?
>>60545320
>21:55
>work
>>60545393
go bigger
Wish I'd been to Eton lads
>>60545419
>Canada
Ah yes, North Yankland
filtered
>>60544143
>>60544806
>>60545406
oh dear, it's the samefagging paki again
doing a brexit
When you guys say you're all virgins, you're memeing, right?
I lost my virginity at 18.
I have had five (5) sexual partners since then (I'm currently 22).
And I am a literal autist.
What's your excuse?
I've had sex before and I'm a complete autistic
Really makes me wonder what kind od people post here
>>60545337
bet youve wanked more than the whole of /brit/ has had hot dinner
>>60545391
i think its funny lad, maybe you shouldve gone for a paki jab tho tbqh
>>60545442
watch some porn
>>60545196
Help :(
>>60545419
>any canadian
>not being psuedo-american
lmao
>>60545513
its far too on the nose and horribly executed so of course a bumbling yank like you would love it
>>60545468
only the West is really similar to them desu
Toronto is like a cleaner more uptight Chicago full of hipsters
>>60545515
porn is nothing like real sex you spastic
>>60545493
>And I am a literal autist.
clearly not you normal twat
unless you mean legit diagnosed medical autism then ok haha
>>60545526
>i went over the border once for a day
>>60545455
the fallout map on that programme is fucky
it just scales up, whereas in reality fallout doesn't scale linearly
A large bomb won't have that much more fallout than a small one
>>60545486
I was supposed to click yours fuck
Now I can't post here anymore
>I've had sex before and I'm a complete autistic
>>60545419
why are you canadians so obsessed with being accepted by the brits? you're worse than the americans itt because at least they know that they aren't welcome
>>60545505
Lot of ASDA ready meals being consumed ITT as we speak
>>60545553
amateur porn then
>>60545561
>nearly my entire population lives within 100 miles of the border
lol
>>60545583
leave him be
the dutchman is under MY command
Should I make a tea or coffee? Probably gonna be coffee. 8 hours yet until I can go home...
>>60545583
i don't give a fuck about being "accepted" i just like posting here because /cum/ is awful
>>60545530
I wasn't trying to be particularly funny, that's literally what happens with stop and search here
32 and live with my mum
spend all my money on escorts
have no friends or hobbies
>>60545583
Why are Americans so obsessed with Canada not wanting to be part of the US?
>>60545605
wot
>>60545615
why say it only happens to coons
i get what youre saying it just comes off as a shit sickipedia tier joke
>>60545601
i don't :)
>>60545618
grim
>>60545618
what's the most you've ever spent on a single escort session?
>>60545558
That is in fact what I meant.
>>60545618
What's getting an escorts like?
Been thinking about getting one.
Do you just get straight to it or do you foreplay or what?
going to america on the 20th
and i'm on a mission
to fuck.
do leafs really not think they're a bunch of pseudo-crypto-yanks?
>>60545610
every time I go to /cum/ they're arguing about whether you should be circumscribed or not
what is wrong with these people
nova scotia has the saddest life of anyone in here
spends 12+hours a day on a general of a country that isnt his own
im off. dont bother responding you worm
>>60545493
>Only lost it at 18
You loser
>>60545455
Fixed Britain.
>>60545689
You can come to my house :3
can't we all get along? we need to unite if we're to be strong enough to defeat the invading whitewalkers(aka pakis).
>this yank who is literally obsessed with me
hahahahah FOY
>>60545618
banging escorts is a hobby lad
>>60545586
good post
>>60545712
put one on my bedroom as well
>>60545712
halifax mentioned
>>60545712
Ahh yes, very good. Dont like the proximity to sheffield though. May need to leave town for a couple weeks.
>>60545674
did an overnight booking once
paid her for 12 hours
6 hours mandatory sleeping
2 hours washing and eating
had sex for like 20 minutes
eating a hazelnut and almond muesli bar lads
>>60545777
*applies for bank account*
feel like this desu
>>60545692
yea
all the Anglos are about as Americanized as we are
at least we have a lot of local arts/films/music still alive, nothing compared to the UK but more than most others.
>>60545798
>12 hours
so that's a grand or more?
>>60545708
Did you miss the "literal autist" part of my post?
>Do you just get straight to it or do you foreplay or what?
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and a homely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The brunette thinks 'I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.'
The blonde thinks 'I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the dowdy brunette for me and she slapped the beast.'
The Frenchman thinks 'I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.'
The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.'
>>60545814
like a woman?
My knob is always ready to go. Day or night, hot or cold, rain or fucking snow.
when it come it come like a bludclot artattack
lick you out, you can't stand up
spread out
>>60545853
didn't read any of this
>>60545859
middle age will hit you like a tonne of bricks
fucking port shits are going on strike
i feel like some of my posts are way too intellectual and deep for /brit/ to understand
Reminder that 2016 is gonna be the year
>>60545837
1500
just under a months pay
Is a seven incher decent
>>60545853
only read the punchline
rest wasn't worth reading
lecturer has given worked solutions but with half of it blacked out
want to wring his fucking neck
itt
people who believe anything I say
Might go and have a wander around see if any fanny is working tonight
>>60545906
wew lad. always been curious about getting one but why for so long? had you seen her before booking her overnight?
>>60545906
>>60544664
Not for much longer ;)
>>60545958
wait, was the train story made up?
>>60545899
Weird, I'm in France just now but the flag is Spain
there's a couple of mornings a week i think about pooey lynx lad when spraying anti-perspirant those cans have decent girth tbqh
like a virgin
touched for the very first time
>>60544664
"Yeah. I haven't really cared enough to get close to someone yet/My life was really rough and I wanted to hold off."
It really depends though. You have to use your judgement when it's better to lie or not.
>>60545958
did you write the bible?
>>60545712
>how to make England a third world country
>>60545983
don't
kind of ruins sex for you
after having sex with an escorts, sex with normal girls is boring and bland
it's like driving a ferrari and trading down to a ford mondeo
