hold the door edition
planning out a wank
Lobsters are good pets
Hold...the...door
Get on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur
considering suicide
I'm having a barbecue later today lads, It's stressful because everyone is being flaky.
I'll get drunk no matter what happens 2bh so I don't care.
The cat at my dads place is so cute, he comes over and sits on your lap, and when you start stroking him, he rolls over like a dog so you can rub his belly. It's weird, cats usally hate that and will scratch you if you touch their belly. He's a right lad.
>>59947831
We cans see your flag.
>>59947853
oh shit. Fixed?
Threadly reminder that if you're not white you will never be British no matter what you do
Jamming at INCREDIBLE hihg speed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF_k6mIw9w0
made a cheeky chicken, sweet potato, carrot, onion and garlic soup combo lads
> mfw everything tasted perfect
In hindsight, the period of time when I sold and used heroin was the best part of my life. Had cool cars, had guns, dated a model who lived with me so I got laid all the time, etc.
Now I'm trying to do things right with a real job and it's just getting worse and worse. Why the fuck would people live like this?
>>59947831
Make public statements about Putin's inability to lead and how he's leading Russia down a dark, non-democratic path and how he rigged the last election
You won't even need to bother with your suicide
>>59947877
Russians are always suicidal.
>>59947836
why did you feel the need to share this with us
>>59947893
I don't know, Polonium seems like a shite way to die.
>>59947868
Tacitus describes the original Celtic British as being black. Checkmate shitlord.
>>59947891
Because there is less risk of death/jail?
>>59947891
send us some heroin lad
>>59947900
ah i see
>>59947924
Yeah. Public services always take too long.
FUCK I JUST DROPPED A BOGGER IN MY SOUP GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
>>59947904
As if it was any lessinteresting than
>Having a wank
>Doing a poo
>Eating some crisps
>Tfw no gf
Get over yourself, shithouse cunt.
>>59947959
It's ok. I'm sure that cat is a right lad.
>>59947955
I feed my boogers to the dog
also 6/10 story but it needed more buildup
>>59947933
debatable 2bh. I knew everybody and nobody had an issue with me doing what I do. Already been injured at this job and I work ALL THE FUCKING TIME to make way less money than I already did. Miserable 2bh, gonna have to make moves and build something better for myself one way or another.
>>59947935
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>>59947891
If you want excitement, but don't want the risky illegality of a career in drugs; why not get an exciting legal career instead?
Like bodyguard, or PI, or... fuck, I don't know, diamond mine operator in the DR Congo. The world's your oyster man
>>59947979
He is 2bh, he's killed two mice since I arrived here today. Absolute madman.
>>59947987
Why don't you sell drugs and work. That's what the real pros do, need a cover for your money.
>>59948001
You could even work in 'Spoons if you're tough enough
>>59947987
>>59947983
>>59947979
>>59947925
>>59947891
>>59947887
>>59947868
>>59947867
>>59947836
>>59947750
ANTI-YANK RANGER ACTIVATE
>>59948006
shut the fuck up about the cat man those bastards run out into the road under the wheels of cars so fast it's not even funny
still no thailad?
>>59948041
caught one trying to sneak under the fence sir
right here >>59948041
>>59948041
Why did you reply to me? I'm British. Also pathetic gook nonce your parents hate you
>>59948055
I think you may have post-cat splat PTSD
need to be up at half 6
could do with a power nap but I'm afraid of sleeping in
>>59948055
are you some sort of spastic?
>>59948029
>110+ hours this pay period
It is an idea though. Everybody I work with sells something. Just gonna have to tough out being exhausted all the time.
Really miss rolling out with my boy and a couple guns and coming home to a qt with bank in my pocket a few hours later. Don't miss broke ass fiends though, fucking liabilities. Stay sick bitches.
>>59948062
>>59948074
YANKS LEAVE BY ORDER OF THE QUEEN NO YANKS ALLOWED
>>59948041
I'll have you know I'm 3/10ths Australian
>>59948041
*shoots you dead*
>>59948096
I sold weed for years, it was amazing how quickly my social circle disspiated when I stopped. They're not real friends desu
>>59948120
>>59948118
>>59948096
Remember~!
Seppos deserve to hang like the traitorous bastards they are~<3!
>>59948093
no i just hit a cat before and i got out of my car and its brains were all out but the body was still fucking twitching and it scarred me for life
>>59948144
*hangs you in the gallows*
>>59948144
Bruce you need to relax.
might have a very cheeky glass of Cointreau before work lads
>>59948139
My boy is still around, we go back further than that. He'd be a fiend if he didn't know how to hustle for himself though.
The gf didn't fuck with the train, she just liked the dope dick going on for hours. Best way to get it in 2bh
But that shit also kills people left and right so theres that to consider as well.
>>59948120
><SEPPO>'s "9mm" CRITS <AUSSIELAD> for 19 damage.
><AUSSIELAD> has been slain by <SEPPO>!
><AUSSEILAD>'s "POST-DEATH SPIDER ATTACK" poisons <SEPPO>!
><SEPPO> cannot afford medical attention!
><SEPPO> has died.
>>59948145
So now you hate all cats and spack out when people talk about them?
>so Anon, do you want to come over to my place latter and listen to some Paradise Lost?
>>59948172
>>59948182
w-why aren't you leaving? The queen told you too!
>>59948222
only if i can cum on your face desu
>>59948197
*ignores your post*
>>59948237
Just like you ignored your medical insurance.
love looking at the sun rise tbf family
Anyone else noticed that girls named Hannah are always cute but in a very wholesome way?
>>59948256
That's not a sun rise, that's the tail end of a missile heading towards Palestine
>>59948256
fuck off JEW
>>59948256
>tfw it's almost midnight
How are things over there?
>>59948256
Does anything even grow in Israel? Apart from seething national hatreds
Anyone else noticed that girls named Akarin are always cute but in a very wholesome way?
>>59948317
Israel is green as fuck
The gf
>>59948359
I know, Hamas just won't fuck off
Going to quit drinking lads
im going now bye
>>59947925
WE
>>59948383
Revoke your citizenship and report to the mandatory castration toilet, where your service will be administered by a black widow
>>59948383
I tried doing that several times
Kept failing so i just gave in
>>59948351
Yep
>>59948364
my gf > your gf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z32X0-4QjKs
>>59948388
Don't kill yourself mate
>>59948407
> she will never cook you a nice warm dinner then cuddle
>>59948059
Gonna start drinking (for tonight)
>>59948430
i just have to go out for now
how big is thailad's willy do you reckon
>>59948434
>>59948407
Stop posting blank images
THAILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
>>59948434
>you will never grope her
>>59948447
>Russia
What's the difference?
>>59948435
>>59948434
>>59948407
looks like we have the early morning nonce guild
>>59948486
Go back to rebbit
We have a global anime culture
off to work lads at a job i fucking hate with all my passionate disgust
take care of the place will you?
*gets rid of the yanks*
Ahh yes much better now
>>59948532
*shits all over the shop*
interesting fact: if you drive at high speeds around middle class english suburbs, you'll probably kill a few cats every single night
>>59948486
לך חפש מי ינענע אותך 卐
>>59948532
why don't you quit?
>>59948575
i plan to once i find a new job la
>>59948560
If I'm ever homeless and living out of my car I'll bear that in mind ty
>>59948567
bit of a racist post here lads, be careful around it
I am informing Scotland Yard of this as we speak
thailad how big is your fucking willy
>>59948538
Good man.
any weebs in Brisbane want to meet up?
Ready for the bike ride Anon?
just try and keep up ok
>>59948607
There's no laws here about hate speech/ racism, why would Scotland yard have jurisdiction over me?
>>59948615
I'm happy with it but I haven't actually measured it since I was a teenager.
>>59948634
M I L T O N here lad, off to work now though sorry x :)
>>59948638
I could prob pace her ngl
ALLUMINUM
>>59948694
Color aluminum dude realize
>>59947719
Give me a tldr on Thatcher lads
>>59948694
alluminum grey is my favorite color
>>59948641
what do you know about thai food? can you recommend something on this menu for me? http://www.joysthaicuisine.com/#!menus/cn8w
>>59948733
Female
>>59948733
see:
>>59948726
>>59948729
on_set_at_Matrix_4.webm
>>59948752
Thai food in the west is different to actual Thai food m8.
That said, if you can't go wrong with pad thai, curry fried rice, and if you want something spicy som tam (papaya salad)
>>59948729
cant find this attractive desu looks way way way too uncomofrtable
>>59948752
get some green curry
also Thai > Chinese
>>59948866
>looks way way way too uncomfortable
that's what makes it sexy
its like low level bondage
>>59948892
nah you'd get so sweaty and then the sweat would make it hard to take off
>>59948903
>nah you'd get so sweaty and then the sweat would make it hard to take off
>>59948726
want to have a cockfight lad
>>59948726
>>59948962
quit spamming this shit in my thread ffs
>>59948962
>>59948903
>the point
Go to a fetish club.
Spending the night with qts in rubber.. The smell of rubber and qt sweat. It's a thing you won't forget.
>>59948962
>>59949015
>Go to a fetish club.
how do you even get to that point in your life?
>>59949028
Goth gf..
>>59949050
>Goth gf..
i reiterate: how do you even get to that point in your life?
>>59948840
did you try that smelly fruit thing
whats the most foul thing in
westerners eyes you saw someone eat
>>59949050
I feel so sorry for you.
>>59949012
was not talking about a down hillu battleu gum tapeu on the touge cockfight, just some good old skin on skin action
>>59949061
durian?
Nah, the smell puts me off.
>>59948840
cheers
me and the woman on top of mt. leconte in north carolina
>>59949069
I feel sorry for me. There are no goths anymore.
These captchas are taking the piss
>>59949079
answer my second question
and what oes durian smells like
>>59949096
Good lad and lady.
>>59949096
look at the twatty look on the poof to the left
>>59949096
I can't tell who's who
Jokes aside that bint looks like she could be your mum lmao
>>59949104
>There are no goths anymore.
makes me want to die, scene girls are utter shit anyways
>>59949114
so use the legacy captcha
>>59949121
>answer my second question
Various types of insects are sold in certain places.
>and what oes durian smells like
to me it smells like petrol + what I imagine a landfill to smell like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og5e6wLIU18
thailad, ever done a shit while squatting up on top of the toilet like a frog?
>>59949151
what replaced goths and scene kids? that'll be something akin to 80s big hairdos. kids will look back on the early 2000s and cringe
>>59949172
I haven't
>>59949178
ravers and hip hop fashion dweebs
>>59949151
>>59949178
Cybergoths took over. Dat Larry Wachowski look and German Darkwave techno.
I never hated the music but, trad goth was beautiful.
>tfw can't stop playing Overwatch so never have time to entertain everyone with my great posts on /brit/
>>59949166
Ever ate one
grasshopper are actually kosher bizarrely
>>59949255
>Cybergoths
not here
never seen this before desu
all the scene/emo kids either became rave queers, normal plebs, or hip hop fashionistas
>>59949295
>Cybergoths
But why would a jew eat a grasshopper? That's basically cannibalism.
>>59949295
Nah, not opposed to it really but then not really interested to try either. Strangest thing I've tried is Llama, and that was in the UK.
>grasshopper are actually kosher
wew
>>59949298
all the emo kids became acid babies and hoop girls 2bh
cat brought in a live baby cotton tailed bunny yesterday night. the little guy was terrified. i ended up capturing him and keep him in a cage for the night with water so he could recover. had my gf come over and she was obsessed with it taking pictures and posting them on facebook, getting a ton of attention. well this morning i released the little guy back outdoors after my gf left. he hopped off and an hour later i let my cat outside before heading off to class. i got back from class and i find the baby bunnies limp carcass covered in flies laying in front of my front door with it's head gnawed off. now i don't know what to do because my gf keeps asking about the baby bunny we rescued and how he's doing. i don't want to break her heart
>>59949298
Scene kids didn't exist in Europe. That was your,(american) forgive me strange twist on rave culture.
Cybergoths did evolve from them I think.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPNFVj-pISU
>>59949434
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqQuihD0hoI
>>59949365
heard us being called lizards, snakes, rats and even cockroaches but never grasshoppers
>>59949474
Forgive me, I was going towards the plague consuming and destroying everything before moving on angle.
Apologies, my reptilian master.
are you gay, anon?
>>59949434
I blame Acid Bath for everything wrong with metal and the development of rave culture desu
>>59949524
those are the africans silly goy
we are the lizards that disturb the hive and make it fly towards your way
"alri"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63ApC5v8CKM
*sniffs huge line*
WEW
E
W
>>59949474
>grasshopper
You are now also a meme from a 70s TV show starring David Carradine, a white lad pretending to be a Shaolin monk.
Fucking grasshopper shaolin cunts. Palestine is fucked with dem high kicks.
>>59949583
Screencapped.
They admitted it!
If I could drive I wouldn't just sit in the house all day.
>>59949604
Oh shit
>>59949079
rec me a php framework
I WISH THIS COMPANY WOULD FUCKING CONTACT ME AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
hey there chums
>>59949604
did you ever catch Bullfrogs as a kid? i had one big guy living in a small pond behind my house as a kid, I named him Greg and fed him every day for years until he stopped showing up one day
>>59949673
laravel
>I WISH THIS COMPANY WOULD FUCKING CONTACT ME AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
>>59949725
Howdy partner.
>>59949759
Tommorow is the day of judgement. If they don't contact me tommorow I'm going to go off my nut
>>59949648
I can and I do.
There's nowhere to go.
>>59949862
It's worse for me because I know exactly where I'd fucking go and I can't get there any other way.
Little does he know they don't hire Runts
Poleaboo I see you
>/brit/ will someday come to an end
I'm depriving myself of a love-life and sex because I refuse to expose my close family to my homosexuality.
Is this the correct approach?
>>59949928
>Implying it hasn't already
Brit is really shit desu, nothing original and constant shit posting, there's no other English generals I can go to either, Brit is the only one and it gets over run.
>>59949730
>Bullfrogs
That's a weird name, I'd have called them French.
Would anyone here use my bp??
http://i.imgur.com/FGwgDBq.jpg
>>59949928
When 4chan shuts down we will all claim ownership of fa.gs and bully everyone there with pooposting.
>>59949963
no if they really love you they'll accept you no matter what
>>59949730
I'm actually canadian. We used to have a lake house in the woods in quebec we would go to when we had school breaks, and it had loads of bullfrogs. Every night I remember falling asleep to the sound of the bullfrogs meeping out back, and when I went back home in toronto I couldn't sleep without the sound of the bullfrogs.
>>59950012
But I want to repay them with a child, carrying on the family name and not making them the laughing stock of the extended family?
>>59950051
You know them, how are they likely to react?
just got back from work, absolutely rooted
thailad is a MESS
need a clown gf
>>59950100
That is irrelevant to all three points raised in my last post.
he's so WEAK it's laughable
>>59950136
Well what do you want?
You're not going to be doing any of them, so how will they react?
thailad's a NASTY guy
I work at a grocery store with high tourist traffic
I can immediately tell when someone is from the UK
how?
>short and always at least a bit chubby
>pudgy shapeless faces with no jawline or cheekbones to speak of, it's strange to look at really
>cheeks are always a bit rosey
>general look of confusion or bemusement, no exceptions
>always looking around and commenting on everything
>no fucking clue how to use money
>half the time they just throw it at us and let us sort it out
>a tone of absolute condescension towards the workers
>snide remarks everywhere
>insults-hidden-in-comments just as common
>always fucking with the grocery baggers
>telling them they did something wrong or that they're bagging wrong
>or worse, when they literally start reaching into the bags the baggers are working on and start putting stuff in/taking stuff out
>absolutely abhorrent sense of fashion
>socks & sandals
>polos and cargo shorts that are cut above the knee
>really weird somewhat greasy, somewhat bedhead hair
you guys don't even need to open your mouths, it's as if you truly do not give a single fuck
>>59950122
>>59950176
>>59950206
Trump pls, I wish you well!
>>59950201
How will I not be doing those things?
>>59950211
>>insults-hidden-in-comments
insults-hidden-in-compliments, rather
>>59950211
The insult part is true and the first 2 lines have some truth to them, but the rest must just be bad tourists you had.
>>59950224
I'm not going to sit and type out why a gay lad wouldn't be having kids, carrying on the family name etc.
I was trying to have a friendly chat m8
Just woke up lads
Going to sleep in so hard tomorrow fuck this
>>59950211
All me.
>>59950252
Well that's exactly my point, I need to pretend I like women and get married one day etc.
Being openly gay makes all of that impossible.
Who high test here?
Post thic and curvy girls
>>59950211
>it's as if you truly do not give a single fuck
Guilty.
Pray to never meet us on 'vacation'
>>59950285
Kind of surprised you'd even consider this an option, wouldn't you be miserable?
SLUM ville SUN rise
>>59950285
have fun commuting suicide at 30
Heating up some water in the ol' microwave lads.
>>59950345
That's what my original post was about. I'm in a dilemma.
might do a sleep
>>59950388
have a quick child with some slag but do not get married because you'll get fucked over with child support and that, then leave her and go gay.
alternate choice: get a tranny to pose as a real girl and break it to your parents that she is infertile and can't have babies.
>>59950388
I don't think it's fair to fake a relationship with a woman, can't see it going well for either of you.
You only get one go around m8, don't waste it for the sake of saving face.
>>59950449
>slag
you are an American use American terms
took an iq test and my iq is 592 lads
alri lads
>>59950473
>filming a man's winkus
that's kinda cheeky don't you think
>>59950476
this
don't such a pathetic sycophant
actually that goes to all yanks in this thread
>>59950476
this is /brit/ though, where I get to act like a brit
>>59950449
I want to carry on the family though. I'm the only son to an only son to an only son. To bring up a child in a homosexual household would be inappropriate in my view too.
I'm fucked.
>>59950481
Pleb. Mine is over 9000
hate women
>>59950434
you wouldn't dare, kiwi
wonder what's it like to have down syndrome
>>59950519
why did we let them leave the kitchen again lads? brought nothing but trouble tbhonest
>>59950531
you tell me
>>59950504
why not have this exact conversation with your mum and/or dad?
Tell them you're gay but want to carry on the bloodline and see what they say.
>>59950519
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0sXyvlzbdGy
got no reason not to kill myself desu
>>59950504
Gay and straight as an identity is a very 20th Century Western way of looking at things. In many parts of the world men have families, children and everything, and fucking another man is like going to a prostitute or something. You have desires, get them out of your system. There's no need to talk about it in polite society.
>>59950561
this is such a progressive viewpoint! thanks captain britain!
>>59950552
Because that involves admitting something that I'd rather they never knew about.
>>59950560
You have us
>>59950476
>>59950538
>>59950570
could you fuck off
>>59950578
jeez, she's aged a decade in about 2 years
>>59950578
funny, i've been talking to you every day for the past 2 years and yet i still don't know the first thing about you
>>59950570
this is how rasheeds view it because it makes them uncomfortable
I wanted love
I needed love
most of all
most of all
>>59950617
I needed the warm embrace of another man
>>59950614
what i said or what the britanon said?
>>59950613
you know I ploughed your mum like a field of rape
>>59950597
Kids do that to you. Sleepless nights. I've noticed myself aging after I got a proper job and stopped napping during the day.
well
http://vocaroo.com/i/s07LgN9cpf3V
>>59950570
He's right though. The gay/straight dichotomy was invented by Victorian puritans. Fucking men on the side was not seen as unusual before that
>>59950574
Not sure what to say then really m8, but genuinely wish you all the best, don't suffer because of it any more than you have to lad.
good luck.
>>59950645
I'm sure she'll let it slide.
Her only job now is to be bred.
is it weird to go out with an 18 year old if you're 22?
im a big boy who does big boy shits
>>59950671
not at all m8
>>59950671
its not weird until youre 30
even then id do it
