smug boy edition
>>59869965
First for /cum/
KEKSTAMPS >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/out/
The collapse of the Soviet Union was a mistake
fifth for /cum/
check my 8
>50 (yes FIFTY) somalian flags in the canton
Who approved that
>>59870006
>fifth
>American education
>>59870020
good post very true
>>59870028
no
>>59869986
he's the dummy
now look at this 7
>>59869994
nothing wrong with the cuckstamp even 2bh
t. /cum/ meme lord and true Canadian patriot
>>59870017
>10,000 (yes TEN THOUSAND) rounds to be used for the war
Who approved that
Who /greenpill/ here?
>>59869965
>boy
>>59870085
is this picture not a boy
Talk to a girl the same way you to to anyone, like a human being, try to be fun and exciting, act interested, be interesting, and hint and then imply and then ask if they ever want to grab lunch or coffee or do some activity. If she says yes then youre in, if she says no you need to move on right away. This is what dating is like for men, shower, look clean, get a haircut, wear nice clothes, and be aware of how you come across(dont be annoying, a faggot, autisitc, creepy)
>>59870121
lmao son, put a cork in it with the autism. Just go try to meet a girl till it clicks and get laid.
>>59870121
>(dont be annoying, a faggot, autisitc, creepy)
>creepy
so don't be unattractive basically
>>59870121
just ignore all women all the time and masturbate you fucking animal
>>59870145
Yes, precisely
>>59870034
mama i want milky
>>59870121
What a pain, I just want to stick peen in vagoo, i don't want to go through a social ritual to achieve that
>>59870145
everybody, take note, this is an example of unironic autism and pure distilled bitterness
>>59870179
Then try to be so hot that the girl does it to you
>just bee urself :)
>>59870145
>t.ugly duckling
>get out of shower
>pass by self in mirror
>insta-jaw drop
Mmm. I am one smexy mofo.
>>59870184
How is it wrong exactly? Nobody likes unattractive people. Isn't this common knowledge by now?
>>59870201
*Just be normal
Or alternatively find girls of a similar power level
>>59870082
>he's not indigo pill
I'm going to need you to explain this to me in a 200 ancient glyph essay by next year before prom night.
>>59870190
Good point, maybe i'll pour myself a gallon of gasoline then engulf my body in flames, that way the qts will line up for some good fuck
>>get out of shower
>>pass by self in mirror
>>insta-jaw drop
>Mmm. I am one smexy mofo.
>>59870244
please. you haven't seen my washboard abs yet
It is literally not that hard to get laid, even if you guys are ugly. Just develop some semblance of social skills and go for chicks in your own league.
That's a lot of your guy's problem, you want the 10/10 cutie pie when you're an ugly sumbitch. You just gotta accept it.
>>59870020
what a stupid ass comic
The only thing that matters is that if it looks feminine and cute.
it's literally unironically not gay
>>59870210
Post pics, fag
>>59870264
>its not gay to be attracted to a penis
whatever helps you sleep at night, champ
>>59870277
I like my penis, he's my good buddy. Am i gay?
>>59870263
> Says the Canadian
The only social skills you have are sucking the tits of feminists to get laid.
>>59870291
yes
>The only thing that matters is that if it looks feminine and cute.
>it's literally unironically not gay
>>59870304
t. homosexual
>>59870304
Damn, guess i'll start sticking my penis up my butt now.
>>59870291
stop posting for me you idiot
>>59870277
>>59870282
>>59870304
>She looks like a girl
>Acts like a girl
>n-n-no she has a penis
fucking idiots
overwatch is fun desu
Winston is objectively the best character in Overwatch
>>59870291
>tfw actually get more aroused when I see my dick
btw ノホモ
>>59870320
Im 100% straight. Id actually be 110% but theres always a soft spot in my heart for yuri
>>59870334
>she
>>59870263
>Just develop some semblance of social skills
JUST B URSELF
>that's a lot of your guy's problem, you want the 10/10 cutie pie when you're an ugly sumbitch
bullshit. my only standards are:
>be female
>don't be obese feminazi
you, sir, can suck my ass
Literally wake up with a boner every day guys
>>59870119
Lel, that's a gal senpai
>>59870361
It's called Morning Wood.
>>59870359
Wow, you must be hideous then
>>59870334
But, I am you
>>59870356
Liking yuri isn't gay, it's good for the soul
>>59870335
from what I played in the beta it seemed like it would be fun if played with friends otherwise not so much
>>59870240
>>59870082
>he takes pills
>>59870361
So does every other red blooded male
>>59870399
>>59870374
thank god
>>59870393
game's kinda broken desu
Playing against double bastions and mei was not fun at all.
>>59870393
basically desu
>>59870303
haha well bantered m8 another canadian rekt on the chon
>>59870368
Looks like a boy to me desu
What makes you think that's a girls face
>>59870210
Unattractive men can absolutely get hot women, it all depends on their confidence, swagger, subtle body language and personality. (And grooming but that should go without saying)
>>59870433
Spam the Aussie Ameri-boo until the Bastions are thoroughly reamed and Mei gets wiped up by the designated Widowmaker on your team
>>59870460
Provide an example
>>59870449
Because it's a cropped photo of some girl that posts here. Wouldn't be surprised if it was you 2bh, your posts remind me of hers
>>59870515
Your mom and dad
>>59870385
Not hideous, just plain-looking. I used to be obese so I have zero confidence, or social skills for that matter from spending my entire adolescence as a recluse, which helps my case none.
""JUST"" pretend to have or JUST develop social skills is no more helpful than "JUST be chad". I can't express JUST how garbage this reiterated normalfag advice is.
>it's another "my fat fuck greasy smelly best friend picks up 10/10s all the time" post
>>59870538
DELET THIS
>>59870240
>not 4 dimensional non-euclidian pill
Hekekek
Sploob
wish I could just fall asleep already
fucking living in a triples dorm
>>59870477
The game is totally playable, but you have to have coordination for it to work out. Which I suppose the inbuilt voice system makes much easier, but pretty much every rando that I've seen using it was a bit of a fag.
The game is a pain in the ass if you want to do solo play, though.
want to try a 3 winston 3 mercy team desu.
let me slip it into your minnesota nice baby
>Not being a fat greasy fuck that picks up girls
>>59870554
Okay I'm going to give you some tip top insider advice here bro, you ready?
goodnight you fucking pricks... thx for nothing
This is it, familia. I'm losing my virginity this Saturday. How do I jam it in?
>>59870619
I've noticed that too, mic users are faggy or whine about the most asinine things
I've played 4 winston 1 lucio 1 soldier 76, we rolled them twice on Lianjing
HEYYYYYY BLONDDDDDDDIIEEEEEEEE
I don't follow Obesity Collide regularly, but shouldn't it be NFL draft time right about now?
>>59870657
Strawberry and peanut butter
>>59870635
don't waste your time
>>59870657
go straight for the butthole, no permission, no lube
they like an alpha
>>59870684
>>59870690
No, come on. I need your help. She's a virgin too but she thinks I'm not. I'm against the wall here.
>>59870657
have a shower, watch your private parts, trim them, cut your nails, look and smell good, and go deep inside
>>59870657
Do you have a ponos?
>>59870713
Yes.
>>59870661
YOUUUU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?
>>59870717
Then put it in her vagooo.
just make sure she's wet or it won't go too well
>>59870700
1. Learn how to put a condom on.
2. Learn how to foreplay
3. Learn how to take a bra off
4. Learn how to kiss
5. Learn to wash your junk
6. Learn how to cut your toe/finger nails
7. Be white
>>59870735
I kind of know everything except being white. But I need some guide on jamming it in.
>>59870719
JUSTTTTT A DIRTYYY SUNNNUVVVAAHHH
https://youtu.be/kccafOf4O6Q
>>59870757
remember that girls have 2 holes down there....
>>59870757
Jamming is the incorrect verb to be thinking of here dummy, go slow and warm her up with some foreplay you dont want to hurt her especially since she's a virgin
>>59870700
Lots of foreplay, mandatory 20 - 30 minutes before penetration.
After that do it missionary style, ask her to tell you if it hurts too much/if you should pull out, go very nice and slowly, look in her eyes and say nice things.
Remember it is not sufficient that you cum, she needs to cum too, at least 3 times imo.
Also you should cuddle for at least 30 minutes after you're both done.
>Jamming is the incorrect verb
>>59870780
KINO
>>59870757
Test the waters by sticking it in slowly, if it's her first time, it will hurt. Make sure you're in the hole and not trying to shag her clit.
Don't expect to go balls deep unless she's been around the block a few times.
>>59870823
Thanks, mate. Also, I've fingered her before and it's really fucking tight in there so I'm afraid of pushing too hard but also of not pushing hard enough.
got a birthday notification from somebody that died
spooked
>>59870867
I'll give you a (You) if you post "Happy Birthday my man! Hope to see you soon!"
>>59870867
did u wish the ghost happy bday ?
>>59870757
poise the tip on her slit and see how fast you can get in balls deep
repeat until she's begging you to stop (from pleasure)
>>59870837
movie AT BEST, far from kino
>>59870867
Going to a friends wake tmrw, killed himself by ODing on heroin. Feels weird
>>59870896
Probably the best advice you're gonna get here.
>>59870867
>old buddy from high school died a few years ago
>every once in a blue moon go look at his fb page when it crosses my mind
>was once full of RIP in peace posts and shit and now it's just a forgotten tomb
fucking weird. I miss the guy.
>>59870976
How did he pass?
>>59870867
>>59870976
one of my high school friends died drinking and driving. I remember sitting in a presentation about DrunkDriving and wondering who was going to die early...would never have guessed him. the knowledge that his life ended at 18 is so strange, like i always see it as if i always knew he wouldve died at 18 there but didnt realize it
Why do Canadians worship macaroni and cheese? Like, don't get me wrong, I get a hard dick for some good m & c, but this seems like an unhealthy relationship with processed pasta and cheese.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kraft_Dinner#Canadian_culture
hey guys, i'm going to the smoky mountains in a month. i wanted to know if any of you live in tennessee/north carolina and can suggest some good all-day hiking trails. is the hike from alum cave to mt. leconte a good one?
>>59871019
OD I guess. From what I heard from other friends is that he took some oxycontin with a bunch liquor and died in his sleep. Some people swear it was suicide, I doubt it...he just doesn't strike me as the type. You never know though. Either way he was a genuinely cool guy, albeit a bit of a shit disturber. Knew him since I was a fucking toddler.
>>59871051
>Kraft mac n cheese is just simply known as Kraft Dinner in canada
holy shit canada get it together
>>59870853
Don't worry about not pushing hard enough but definitely do worry about pushing too hard, it could ruin her experience.
Btw by "foreplay" I don't just mean fingering, you need to feel her whole body with your hands, be really close, kiss both delicately and passionately (one first, then the other) do not be afraid of spending a whole hour on foreplay, it is 50% of the sex experience.
If you mess up you could excuse yourself saying that you've never had sex with a virgin before, but obviously don't make her feel guilty about it.
Btw are you going to use some type of contraception?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHVBzLGAIbU
>>59871051
Because It's good, you fag.
>>59871042
I know exactly how you feel man
>>59871120
Yeah, I have condoms and a day after pill borrowed from a friend. I've heard that condoms breaking is really uncommon but I really don't want a little fucker ruining my life right now.
>>59870867
may they live on through the net
>>59871122
Nice one, buddy. Jim Croce was great.
https://youtu.be/zaE-sBJQixg
>>59871107
Sorry to hear m8.
But you have to remember that sometimes the people who are the least likely to show signs of offing themselves can be the ones in danger.
Not saying that's what happened to your lad there, but just a possibility.
I burnt my chicken.
what letter does ur name start with /cum/-chan? mine starts with V i bet urs is something boring
>>59871155
For your first time I'd say its ok if you don't use a condom, just make sure she takes the pill in the morning.
After that use a condom, diaphragm, whatever you want.
>>59871331
V for what? Virgin?
>>59871331
A for America is the best country in the world
>>59871331
with an "R" my friend, also I'm taking ur digit and u can't have it back
>>59871354
BTFO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgs9QUtWc3M
IM BETTER OFF
>>59871354
that was prty gud
>>59871369
ur names america?
>>59871377
oh my god just take it
>>59871405
i will canada-chan
i will take it every thread for the rest of your life
and keep that mean janny off your back
finna go hack this dugong
>>59871422
thx anon he likes to ban me for being super lucky i guess hes not lucky
>>59871369
Mine starts with A too.
Its unusual though, not a common name.
>>59871440
Alejandro? Or is that a chicano name?
>>59871405
No it was jokes senpai
>real nigga hours at 12:46AM
>being a least coast shitbag
Ghosts are actually bro tier
Tbqh
>>59871518
where r u frum ?
A canadian here posted a very cool song from a band name home (i think) it didn't had any lyrics
>>59871533
What are they like?
How do I get a spooky blowjob?
>>59871566
Fuck
Can someone posted please?
>>59871536
BC my dude
>>59871566
You mean this? Good timing lad I was just about to bail for a few.
https://youtu.be/j4Jyev7iTlE
>>59871614
Aw sweet thanks
>>59871614
oh no thats where i live
>>59871533
t. Ghost
>>59871646
wait a sec...voldie is that u??
Gtfo Okinawa
>>59871669
I hope that's johnny and not juan or jose
:^)
>>59871646
meet me somewhere and i'll smoke you like a sausage
>>59871726
i rly like sausages we can go camping and have sum
>>59871746
You in the lower mainland?
>>59871757
ya i live in delta
>>59871746
>>59871726
Can I cum?
>>59871771
yes every1 from /cum/ is invited
I'll ask again
Why are Canadians so cute, senpai?
>>59871825
it's a survival mechanism on a continent full of stinky CHICANOS
>>59871798
I dont know what is is about those cabins but anytime I see giant windows high up or a wall of split logs, it just feels so comfy
>>59871789
>>59871798
>>59871885
get rid of that stinky dick and make me one of the qt girl and this is my dream too senpai
>>59871853
Morning puppers
>>59871926
>will never have a place like this
>will never even stay in a place like this for a minute
Hurts just a bit.
>>59871926
looks just like one of those cabins at lake tahoe, excepts we never get comfy fog up there
hnnnnnnngh
Anime is pretty homosexual.
>>59872068
>Darkness is best girl
>darkness is USA
good job, m8
>>59871926
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eYIIscHiok&list=LLiv7Vk8PwfDD8vAP7Vfw3cQ&index=5
>>59872091
I did a good
>tfw no qt canadian friend to watch bad movies and cuddle with
why live
>>59872295
u have me..
>>59872337
i really don't tho
i do have ur digit however
Heh, real nigga hours again. Yay, memes.
>>59872350
no i don't, combo's broken, thread is DROPPED
potato memes aside, redpill me on idaho
>>59872377
here ill giv u mine
>>59872387
The real skinny is that Idaho is fucking GAY. Stick to the Minnesota nice my northern friend.
>>59872403
If I wanted to go to minnesota I'd just go to a hockey game and get loaded
>>59872387
they da hoe
>>59872387
You know your state is boring when you are known about a fucking spud.
>Americans will never know true fear like coming into contact with one of these fuckers
You guys don't know how lucky you are.
>>59872761
Saw either Female mlose or elk while hiking a couple imes. Spoopy.
>>59872761
I unironically think moose are cool as fuck. One of my favorite animals lmao.
>>59872761
Are the memes more than just memes. They look cute desu
Someone redirected me to this thread with the words "this is where people suck each others dick for fun"
>tfw can't sleep and /cum/ is slow
What do I do?
>>59872927
*kisses u*
hey baby
>>59872927
Also for money
>>59872943
talk 2 me /cum/-chan
>>59872943
same situation tbqh
personally I'm gonna watch masters of the universe and listen to hack frauds talk about it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVisd9ihWv0
>>59872943
You can admire my dubs
>>59872943
You can talk to me senpai. I have to write an essay all night anyways,
What's on your mind cutie?
>>59872981
Any more pics like that?
>>59872943
Lay awake and hope you find some rest.
I can't sleep since days, too.
>>59873044
heres another selfie my master took
If you cant sleep you just drink. It's quite simply that easy.
>>59872989
Too bad anon
>>59872995
P-please stop wasting time here and write your essay!
>>59872981
What else do you besides cutepost in /cum/?
>>59873044
>>59873048
What's wrong famalam?
>>59873068
what's up you cat meme loving fuck
>>59873064
i went 2 school 2day, i go to the gym too, i go on hikes, i play games, i go to dinner parties but my most faveriteist thing is posting cute things in /cum/
>>59873052
Both of these pictures are going into my tumblr, got any more?
Superb cat
>>59873064
You're right.
>>59873110
you spend most of your day playing wow, it seems
why lie?
>>59873096
Post the rest, come on!
>>59873110
You sound just like me but my school is over till September and I donf go to dinner parties.
Cute baby btw
>i go to dinner parties
>>59873077
Don't really know. I get tired and go to bed, but I can't manage to fall asleep. I lay awake for an hour eventually manage to sleep but it's not that kind of normal relaxed and refreshing sleep. I'm thinking about using these pills again, don't know if it's a placebo effect or not, but I felt like they were helping.
>>59873140
last game i played was dark souls mexi-chan
i also work for a train company !~
>>59873174
What pills germanon
Why are you fags still awake?
I'm drinking coca cola which keeps me fully awake
I stopped drinking soda years ago, I'm only doing it now because my mother made a visit today and she only drinks this crap so I had to buy some for her which she didn't finished wow
>>59873151
i always take summer classes, i took political science and today the teacher told us about feminism and the wage gap :^)
>>59873229
really?
i've seen you post on /wowg/
I even found your battle.net account~
ur a bad liar faggot-chan
>>59873174
Coupla tips from someone who regularly deals with sleep paralysis:
1. Establish a standard circadian rhythm. If your sleeping schedule is all out of wack, your body won't know when to fall asleep.
2. Refrain from using electronics right before going to bed. It's bad for the eyes, and if you're me, you'll continue to do this until you fall asleep which is a no no.
3. Don't drink a whole lot of water to the point where you're making regular stops to the loo.
Mexico bringing the heat on this faggot
>>59873270
wait what
i post in /wowg/? can you link some of these posts lol
>>59873237
Don't know if you have them in the US, they are called Neurexan. They are some kind of really really light tranquilizers. I'm not even sure if they actually work.
>>59873260
Is it a based glass bottled coke or that tin can nonsense?
>>59873174
routine really helps. and exercise is really important
>>59873270
>>59873293
No bully
>>59873264
But why
>>59873274
I guess point two and three are the source of my problems.
>>59873298
you also frequent /v/
i'm on to you faggot-chan~
ur not very smart, r u?
>>59873306
It's a 2L plastic bottle, still sugary as hell
>>59873359
i only post on /cum/ desu, im interested in these posts though, is someone copying my schtick?
All this trouble getting a job is killing my ego
>>59873337
i needed more credits! and more tihngs to do i guess, im a pretty big news junkie so its interesting atleast
>>59873432
>Mexican with no job
ayyyyyy
>>59873448
i need more digits
give me
>>59873464
Fuck off.
>>59873400
https://youtu.be/-xDRmsmGyXI?t=3m50s
>>59873432
What's your career?
>>59873349
And what I mean for the water is not to avoid drinking water altogether before sleeping, but just don't pound a litre or two away to hydrate.
If you have to use electronics, leave a light on, and if you're using your phone in the dark, turn on the flashlight so you won't strain your eyes as bad.
>>59873497
Industrial Engineer.
>>59873472
I got you familia
>>59873514
janny banned me for getting dubs i never want them again u can have them bala-chan
>>59873496
u must rly like me mexi-chan always seeing my cutebabyface in every1s posts
>>59873514
Can't steal something they don't have lad. Here you can have these.
>>59873571
I think you mean these, good sire.
>>59873525
And what exactly are you supposed to do?
>>59873595
Well, that depends on the department. As a general description it would be process optimization, you name it, production, quality, inventory, sales, supply chain.
>>59873630
What do you think it's stopping you from getting you hired?
>>59873682
Aiming for the best companies right away.
rawr
>>59873711
Wish you the best
>>59873711
Go hop the border and stand outside the home depot, you'll get hired right away
>>59873743
Hoot Hoot
Arizona has a shitty fucking flag 2bh
>inb4 leaf
>>59873760
Thanks. I know it's my fault for being greedy but it really is killing me after having good internships and being on the top of my generation. It's like it was all for nothing.
>>59873766
Ehm, aren't you being racist right now?
What the hell dude???
>>59873743
I'm saving them all
What's her/his name?
>>59873766
Canada! Why I oughta...
>>59873835
heres my masters instagram /cum/-chan
https://www.instagram.com/smoothiethecat/
Friendly reminder that if you arent making connections while going to uni you're literally wasting your time.
