>hear knock at door
>it is Spetsnaz
>"Bлaди́миp Bлaди́миpoвич Пýтин бeфcтpoгaнoв Пyccи Paйoт! OPEN DOOR RIGHT NOW!"
wat do
>>59628140
Offer them vodka
>>59628140
yell "CHEEKI BREEKI I V DAMKE"
>>59628140
Get emergency Russian Duolingo lessons
>put on orthodox cross
>open door with hands in the air
>if party vanned don't talk back or resist if beaten
>when questioned at base ask for lawyer
>if they just want to stay at my place offer food / drinks and information
>>59628234
>>59628273
>>59628295
>>59628312
All these posters are ded
hide Lenin statue
Grab my guns and prepare to die defending my country from the Russian invasion that will spark WWIII.
>>59628649
Finally.
Start the happy funtime adventures all over Balkans, show them around a bit, promise to be really careful and responsible with all warheads I borrow.
Squat
>>59628677
>that will spark WWIII
topkek m8 I don't think so
>>59628140
"vladimir vladimirovich putin beef stroganov russi riot?"
I yell out "haha mate stop fucking around you don't speak russian" and go back to my wank.
>>59628140
I open the door and ask them to fuck my gf while I watch.
>tfw no Spetsnaz bull
Prostrate myself and hope they don't take/harm my figures or kill me
>>59628140
Ask if they have a search warrant.
