ITT it's France.
>>58888852
Alright
oui oui muslims are le very good hohonhon
>>58888852
France la Shit
http://vocaroo.com/i/s11uFDrW4Lbr
thread's soundtrack
>>58888871
We can share if you wish
*clear throat*
Le bonjour
>>58888942
Impressive
>>58889012
Impressionnant*
la france?
fucking rosbif
ze normans were french
bow to your masters, anglocucks
and see how all good countries drive on the right?
Les Etats-Unis sont français.
Madmoiselle, je n'ai pas mangé depuis six jours
Je me rends.
Oui oui, I love taking dicks up my ass oui.
Honhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhon
>>58888852
Wrong flag 2bh
>took French for 3 years in high school
>can't speak it for shit
>>58889137
can you read it at least ?
>>58888871
Tu apprends vite, anon.
>>58889194
Barely but I'd only get a general idea about what is written than what is actually there.
i studied it for 11 years from 6th grade through undergrad, and now i'm bretty good
What happens here? Has anyone been there?
ça va?
Bonjour, welcome to our store, we're closed now, but please return during our business hours:
Sunday - Closed
Monday - Closed
Tuesday - 10:00 to 12:00, 13:00 to 16:00
Wednesday - 10:00 to 12:00, 13:00 to 16:00
Thursday - 10:00 to 12:00, 13:00 to 16:00
Friday - 13:00 to 15:00
Saturday - 10:00 to 12:00
>>58888852
bleu blanc rouge, nigger
>>58888871
t. Sadiq Khan
>>58889991
………Paris?
>>58890009
>bleu, blanc, rouge, Frenchman
>>58889950
Kek, so accurate
Charlemagne was a Frenchman you filthy barbarian hon hon hon hon
>>58889950
Sounds like La Poste
>>58890088
delet this
t. Dutchman on vacation with pic related
>>58889991
Looks like the mouth of an englishman desu
>>58889875
I know someone who has lived there. Shitty place, criminals, Straya-tier wildlife, always humid and hot. Not a nice place to raise a kid.
Just reminds me I've just watched this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh2yBdDKkss
Basically it's a guy calling the ESA space center there and only answering with lines by Buzz from Toy's Story. All in french though.
Je mange le baguette.
>>58889950
It's scarily close to reality.
france won ww2 :^)
>>58890270
We did
But we lost the battles
Bonjour, I'm gonna go to the Netherlands on vacation and I will ask shit there to people withouth speaking either Dutch, English or German and expect an answer.
>>58890324
Every time. I just walk away.
J'aime France
>>58890324
Dutch do the same here, asking stuff in English and getting mad when we don't understand
>>58890141
>always humid and hot
It's like that here but at least we don't have marrones and meme animals and diseases. I've heard that the rainforest is a pretty terrible place to be, once you've discovered a scratch on your arm it's probably already infected.
>>58890362
If the majority of the people in your country don't even speak English, it is practically a third world country.
>>58890380
this
>>58890380
>being proud of being cucked by anglos
>>58890380
Based toothpaste tulipbros.
>>58890357
*J'aime LA France
>>58890380
Congratulations then, all your fellow citizens spend their savings visiting a 3rd world country
>>58888852
NEDERLAND
>>58890415
Well of course, we got to Indonesia too.
>>58890401
ching ping chong hong
>>58890401
Pretty sure most people in your city-state speak English.
>>58890453
BTFO
>>58890453
>War banter
>By the country that literaly and unironnicaly wouldn't exist if it wasn't for us
Something doesn't add up
>>58890460
Yeah, but it's a meme city-state. Other countries like France actually have a history and culture to be proud of.
>>58890367
I was expecting a sex joke after that greentext
>>58890462
Rainbow Warrior etc
>>58890484
>French "culture"
Zidane did nothing wrong desu
>>58890345
Is this a sieste?
>>58890535
non non c'est bon chef je me rends
>>58890551
You shouldn't hate on the only thing worth eating in Dutch "food"
>>58890610
Bien
>dick thread
>France thread
Why is there so much gay shit on the front page today
>>58890551
I would rather eat moldy triple-creme brie than limburger, desu.
Allo where iz amburger
>>58890551
>>58890670
If your brie is moldy there's something wrong f.am
But I see what you meant
>>58890666
>Satan trying to associate us with gayness
>>58890551
Gimmie some them soft cheeses. Gonna go nuts on some baguette.
>>58890681
A perfectly great beer, I see nothing wrong with it.
>>58890670
i actually don't eat cheese at all because i don't like it so i can't judge
>>58890617
France has absolute shit food, so shit that I can't even think of a French dish atm
>>58890694
Sup
OH LA VACHE
>>58890699
>This is considered banter in Holland
J'en secoue ma tête
>>58890716
>J'en secoue ma tête
No, don't blow us up.
>>58890705
I'm going to the cheese shop tomorrow. Thanks, anon.
Bring me one author promoting their book, one recording artist promoting their album, some mix of actors promoting their unfortunate play and/or movie, and occasionally some sideshow nutcase for everyone to laugh at. We'll get it started with some political hardball with someone you've never heard of, and couldn't care less about. And they all get to pick their favorite political cartoon of the week in a bit designed for everyone at home to not laugh at.
I'll give you constant awkward grinning as if I may be having a stroke and a painfully unfunny top-ten knockoff, while mes chroniqueurs dig into whatever the guests are saying (or not saying) without a single fucking point or coherent opinion between the two of them.
Sometimes a pathetic comedian makes his way on and we all collectively wince at his sad attempt to be funny, and all the times, watch attractive audience members yawn in the background.
In truth, only watch when Houellebecq is on, because we're running out of Le Pen jokes.
>>58890699
>i actually don't eat cheese at all because i don't like it so i can't judge
It's just the smell. I'm sure it's a fine cheese if you have the stomach for it, but it smells like manure. (Yeah, old brie smells like ammonia, but whatever.)
>>58890699
>France has absolute shit food, so shit that I can't even think of a French dish atm
Frogs and snails m8
>>58890798
>Frogs and snails m8
Fuck that, both are pretty good but they are far from being common dishes
>>58890705
oh you absolute fucker give me that
>>58890826
I've never heard that one before.
french cuisine is beautiful because they understand the supreme majesty of two very important things: 1. high quality, fresh, and simple rural food and 2. butter
>>58890875
It's a shame the best Dutch cheese doesn't even melt that well.
>>58890868
I tried frog once and it was OK but there's no way in hell I'd put a snail in my mouth.
I'd still rather not eat either though to be perfectly honest.
>>58890870
>>58890923
>>58890777
I bet Eric Zemmour browses /pol/
>>58890870
C-Come and get it
>>58890908
I was absolutely disgusted by both when I was younger
Now I'd eat them with pleasure, but for instance I find oysters repulsive
>>58891088
Yeah oysters are repulsive. Frog legs are great but very greasy and small ; escargots are bland, only the sauce is tasty.
They're the kind of dishes you have once every 20 years 2bh
>>58888852
Omelet du fromage
>>58890965
tfw you will never eat ortolan
>>58891178
>>58891056
Where in France do you live? I'll pay you €200 to send me a bunch of those cheeses.
>>58891216
>>58891247
>>58891233
>I'll pay you €200 to send me a bunch of those cheeses.
they'll get removed at your customs though
>>58891233
I'm living in the south near the Mediterranean, but we can find those easily pretty much anywhere in the country. Supermarkets have a large choice of proper cheeses from all regions and markets have people selling them. The first pic was from a market in Dordogne and the 2nd of a market in Toulouse, dedicated to delicacies from the Massif Central
>>58891290
Saved
>>58891290
>illegal paternity tests
France is like the unspoken Sweden. It's so far gone it's already dead.
>>58891188
classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEPMuyGe7dg
>>58891377
>illegal paternity tests
That's not true tho
>>58891354
>>58891344
>>58891313
Not if you send them regular post and vacuum seal them.
>>58891330
There is a cheese that Napoleon called the "King of cheeses". It is pretty much liquid inside. It is classified as a smelly cheese and a really want to order some for my dad, but I can't find it.
Any idea?
>>58891354
>>58891401
This is my kot
>>58888927
Say something in French on Vocaroo please
>>58891413
I think it's the époisses
>>58891378
mais l'objectif d'utiliser la serviette n'est pas pour absorber la graisse, c'est pour cacher la visage aux yeux du Segnieur
also jesus christ, the sound of those bones crunching
>>58891436
Would pet/10
Here's one I saw in a cliff in Réunion Island
>>58891467
Fuck yes!!!
I've been looking for like a week. Thanks a lot. Have you ever eaten it?
>>58891436
>>58891401
>>58891354
>>58891344
>>58891290
>>58891247
>>58891216
>>58891178
>>58890965
>>58890923
>>58890870
Literally the worst cats I've ever seen. You should all do something about this.
>>58888927
jesus christ who did this
>>58891500
Poor kot needs a home.
This is my other kot. He's hanging out with my old kot who I've had for 10 years. The small one is 1.
>>58891527
Your opinion is the invalid unless you can post a better kot.
>>58891527
"be the change you want to see in the world"
t. gandhi
>>58891510
You're welcome, it was my first guess (it's notoriously smelly and I know it's quite liquid) but typing "Roi des fromages Napoléon" in google confirmed
Yeah I've already had some, it's been a while tho. I remember it indeed smells very strong, the taste was strong too but actually not as much as you'd think for something so suspiciously stinky and liquid. Another liquid French cheese is the Mont d'Or
>>58891527
Nah mine just had his head squeezed againt my leg, otherwise he's ok
>>58891538
Nice, I have a 2nd one too
Well technically they aren't mine, but they hang around my home and spend more time inside with me than outside now
>>58891595
In what way is it strong? To be honest most Americans aren't used to strong cheese, or well, even real cheese.
Is it bitter, pungent, smoky? Does it taste like spoiled milk?
Forgive my ignorance.
>>58891726
>Forgive my ignorance.
No.
>>58891744
Lucky for me I wasn't asking for your forgiveness on my ignorance on French cheeses.
>>58888871
Londonistan Sadiq Khan or jew Goldsmith
>>58891726
I couldn't really describe this particular cheese precisely tb.h, I've only had it once and several years ago. I've found some infomations here in English tho http://androuet.com/Epoisses-105.html
It wasn't as strong as a Roquefort or an old Camembert (although those 2 have nothing in common), but the look of it and the smell makes it hard to eat for people who aren't accustomed to cheese
poisonous and deadly to the lactose intolerant
>>58891771
>>58891462
bit late sorry
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0CsehzidLFj
transcript (from Deux et deux font cinq by Allais):
Je le connus dans une vague brasserie du quartier Latin.
Il s'installa près de la table où je me trouvais, et commanda
six tasses de café.
-Tiens, pensai-je, voilà un monsieur qui attend cinq
personnes.
Erronée déduction, car ce fut lui seul qui dégusta les six
moka, l'un après l'autre, bien entendu, car aurait-il pu
les boire tous ensemble, ou même simultanément?
S'apercevant de ma légère stupeur, il se tourna vers moi, et
d'une voix nonchalante, qui laissait traîner les mots comme des
savates, il me dit:
-Moi… je suis un type dans le genre de Balzac… je bois
énormément de café.
Un tel début n'était point fait pour me déplaire. Je me
rapprochai.
Il demanda de quoi écrire.
Les premières phrases qu'il écrivit, il en froissa le papier et
le déjeta sous la table.
Ainsi fut de pas mal de suivantes. Les brouillons de lettres
jonchaient le sol.
De la même voix nonchalante, il me dit:
-Moi… je suis un type dans le genre de Flaubert… je suis
excessivement difficile pour mon style.
Et nous nous connûmes davantage.
Traffic was hell today because the farmers/railway workers/government workers/etc. were on strike.
Now let me bail out a partially state owned corporation from the shitstorm they brought on themselves.
Also football.
>>58891996
t. f1
france daisuki
>>58891893
Thanks a lot I appreciate your help.
I'm just gonna order it and give it a try. I can legally order it from the one place that makes it.
What is your opinion of this, French?
>>58892048
Alright, good luck then. I say again it really, really smells. So don't get "intimitated" by it, the taste is different. Otherwise buy a good bread for the occasion and spread some of the cheese on a slice is all the advice you need. Is your dad familiar with French cheeses ?
>>58892052
Pretty cool to be frank
What should I have for breakie French lads? Croissant or pain au chocolat?
>>58892052
Impressive IRL, plus it's well integrated with the other buildings around. OC pic related
>>58892147
I prefer croissant. Full english breakfast is god tier otherwise but I wouldn't eat that every day
Have an omelette
>>58892164
And the view from the building. Low res pic so it's probably not visible, but you can see the Arc de Triomphe on the horizon.
>>58891969
I took two years of French. Thought about giving it another try. That or switch to German
>>58892209
Omelette au jambon + ciboulette?
+1 for buttery, hot croissants.
>>58892209
Decided for bit of both
>>58892119
No not at all. We've done some travels over the years but he isn't necessarily familiar with French cheeses, no.
I'll make sure to make the disclaimer. I'll probably order two so I can sample it myself first with some dense dark bread.
Dark bread I'm guessing will be best?
>>58892320
Well that's up to you, those are personal choices.
As for that text, it's probably a bit hard to understand if you've only had 2 years of French (tenses, some dated expressions, mix of relatively formal (narration) and spoken (dialogues) language, vocabulary).
>>58892448
I couldn't understand the masculine and feminine parts. I can only remember basic stuff.
>>58890411
I'm sad
>>58892356
Omelette au fromage (rappé et un peu de tomme d'aligot) + ciboulette
La couleur orangée c'est parce que j'avais mis un peu de pesto dans les œufs
>>58892415
Yeah ordering a second one is a good idea, I'm thinking something from Savoie, like a tomme or abondance, they are excellent, have rich tastes without being too much of anything (too much bitter, salty...) and they look good and don't smell much, given that époisses is rather peculiar it would compensate if you didn't like it
>Dark bread
I love dark bread but I'm not sure it's appropriate in that case, it's a strong bread that would interfere with the taste of the cheese, given that you'll eat it for the first time might as well have the "true" flavour
Not that it really matter tho, it could very well be the opposite with the dark bread helping you appreciate this new food with a familiar taste
>>58892597
well, stop it.
>>58892363
Good lad
They look a bit limp imo, but it could only be the picture
what should one say to really trigger Frenchmen
>>58892838
To trigger Frenchmen here ? Lots of things related to WW II
To trigger normie non /int/ users ? Idk, they'd probably agree and say France is bad
>>58891969
>>58892511
Here's a quick translation for reference. Might contain errors.
I met him in a vague brasserie in the Quartier Latin.
He settled nearby the table I was sitting at, and ordered six cups of coffee.
- Well, I thought, here's a gentleman who is waiting for five persons.
Erroneous deduction, because it was him alone who enjoyed the six mochas, one after another, of course, for would he have been able to drink them all together, or even simultaneously?
Noticing my slight amazement, he turned towards me, and with a casual voice which let the words lie around like old slippers, he told me:
- Personally... I am a guy a bit like Balzac... I drink a lot of coffee.
Such a start I wasn't going to dislike. I came closer.
He asked for something to write with.
For the first sentences he wrote, he crumpled the paper which he threw under the table. The same fate happened to quite some of the next ones. The letter drafts were covering the floor.
With the same casual voice, he said:
- Personally... I am a guy a bit like Flaubert... I am excessively difficult for my style.
And we knew each other even more.
>>58890705
Why have the French lost their sense of style? Just look at that pic, would you call that presentable? Everything looks cheap as fuck. There's some christmas decorations in the lower left corner, the background is some shitty plastic couverture, which doesn't even fully cover the wall, the roof i falling a down. Get a grip, really.
>>58892838
I guess criticising our cuisine and produces would trigger most people. And I mean their inherent quality, not just "I don't like it".
>>58893011
>There's some christmas decorations in the lower left corner
Because it was during Christmas hollidays, genius
>>58889875
She was from there
>>58893182
>muh independance
>>58893011
It looks like some countryside market, why would he spend an hour for some useless decoration when he can use it doing something useful?
Plus it has a rather comfy, rustic look.
>>58892209
>Full english breakfast is god tier
L-lad never admit that.
We expect you to be different, slightly better and arrogant and such.
You can't go just saying you like a full English.
At least say it's inferior and how you could improve it.
>>58893206
Come on, she was probably the only minister of Hollande's government to have balls.
And I think she renounced her claims to independence (it would be kinda stupid anyway)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH5bL_XbO64
>>58893206
Yeah it was a market in Sarlat
>>58893229
Alright then, it's God tier but it's still under French-tier
>>58893249
I agree, and I liked her style.
>inb4 leftard reee
>>58892838
Oh and for the football fans, tell them we should've lost the Euro 2000 final and that Italy deserved their 2006 victory.
We hate the Italy football NT.
>>58893395
Another leftist on /int/ ?
>>58893368
>Alright then, it's God tier but it's still under French-tier
That's how we are.
>>58893499
There are a lot of us. Some, like me, use to pretend they're rightists for the memes.
I genuinely dislike anime though.
>>58893584
I also dislike/disregard anime but pretend to be a fan for memes
>>58892838
Brits invented Beef Wellington.
>>58888852
Pooey pooey bum bum
>>58892052
It's not bad. It's a quite impressive piece of engineering, fit well in the Buisness district, and i like how it is prefectly aligned with the Arc of triumph and the obelisk.
A cash machine stole my bank card near la defense. I had to beg the BNP paribas lady in French to lend me a few euros for the metro because I didn't have any emergency money
>>58894745
How ? Did you just mistype your code 3 times ?
>>58895289
I think it's because I forgot to tell my joke bank that I was going to be out of the country, so they thought it was stolen when it showed up in France, and the ATM took it as a result
>>58895782
Tell my *home bank
IM SORRY FRANCE ;_;
>>58895782
>>58895822
I see. In retrospect, they did the right thing, my dad's bank call him everytime something weird happen on his account, so far they have saved us from numerous thefts
>Hey, have you been to Indonesia recently ?
>... no
>That's what we thought.
>>58896149
Ah yes, the same thing happens with my parents and their credit cards...
>>58890345
>Algerian
>French
God, I'm so triggered
>>58890362
We don't expect you to speak Dutch when you come here, just English. And we expect people from countries we go to to be able to speak English. I don't think that is too much to ask.
>>58890666
WTF Satan ? you think we're phagutz ? ET TU !?
>>58890705
>saint-nectaire fermier
mon péni est caillou dur
>>58892838
->WWII jokes/jokes about our army/history
>"why are Brits so superior to French ? Daily reminder we're speaking English right now :^)))))))
>your food is disgusting
>you're all muslim niggers
>your language is gay LMAO
So...anything m8
>>58892838
Saying that we're lazy
(we're actually one of the most productive people per hour)
Being a royalist
Reminding us that English is the world language
Charlie Hebdo or Bataclan dickery
>>58897750
There is nothing wrong with being a lazy royalist
>>58897784
SUFFIT
post comfy french villages/cities
>>58888871
>hohonhon
http://vocaroo.com/i/s11uFDrW4Lbr
>>58888927
>>58898166
>thread's soundtrack
>>58898045
La hometown here
>>58898166
Daily reminder it's not gay, it's manly, it involves scary swords (the famous baguettes)
>>58888852
>>58898243
Nice peasant village you've got there, faggot.
Paris is the ONLY place worth visiting in France.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0q7FelI8Zxy
>>58898587
wow
>>58898587
jej
>>58888852
>Be french
>Ride bicyclé to job at vineyard
>Pick up un baguette
>Ohhh hor hor, zis baguette is like mekkin lurv to un beautiful womaan
>Begin singing on bicyclé
>Ja ma pel Jacqués LéClere, je amor mi bicyclé et baguette
>Stop by la pisseen
>Nobody wearing loose shorts everyone in skin tight undies
>C'est la vie
>Continue on my bicyclé
>Bad driver carves me up
>ERGH you meetherfuccer, I will wring your moustache you swine bersted! Your drivin is like mekkin lurv to un fat pig womaan
>Continue on my bicyclé
>Get to work
>Taste wine
>Sacré bleu! zis wine is like mekkin lurv to my wife, it is a true rariety, full bodied yet revolting wine
>Do no work
>Get pissed at lunch
>It does nit metter coz ze boss can not fire me due to ze working lawz
>Thank English for sparking the revolution and freeing you from the monarchistic society where you actually have to work
>Kekekekekekekekekek
>Cyclé home to make lurv to pic related
>Ah mi amour, meekin lurv to you is like drinkin ze most exquisté of wines
>Use bidet to wash off shame
>Have a wank to a picture of garlic
>bonne nu(i)t
>>58898587
kek
>>58898243
22-35 CONNECTION
TOUTE LA COTE ENTRE SAINT-BRIEUC ET SAINT-MALO MA GUEULE
QUE DIS-JE, ENTRE PAIMPOL ET CANCALE OUAIS
NIQUE SA MERE LE RESTE C'EST ICI QUE CA SE PASSE
>>58898728
Truly the epitome of British litterature.
>>58899156
Tmtc
>>58890705
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qRfiJqEyZA
>>58897671
What about the current military.
Hi, why are french and USA such good friends?
lol
>>58898728
very enjoyable post
>>58898728
TL;dr
>>58903907
BAAAAHHH
>>58889263
take it again
>>58898728
excellent post
wee jay parlay au francis
>>58902654
The Frenchies fought alongside the US in the Revolutionary War. They did so because they wanted to piss the Brits off, they probably didn't care that much about the US
Do all french people have big willies?
>>58892147
I grew tired of viennoiseries, i prefer brioche now.
I associate pain au chocolat with afternoon snack rather than breakfast, but maybe that's just me.
>>58892052
ugly but you can't really see it from paris so no one minds
>>58898728
>Stop by la pisseen
>Nobody wearing loose shorts everyone in skin tight undies
>C'est la vie
>Continue on my bicyclé
>>58888852
>s'il vous plait,monsieur
>>58890132
>Carolus Magnus
>Born in Quierzy-sur-Oise, France
Dutch Education
>>58898728
quality
>>58888852
Acutally is Occitania
>>58888852
Paris sucks dick
I met two frenchies both arrogant fucks
The only person that spoke to me was an African street vendor who called me a "sexyboy"
also the crepes were shit
FUCK YOU FRANCE
>>58916868
OCCITANIA MENTIONNED
>>58898045
>>58919529
Comfy
>>58920610
There's plenty more where that came from
En garde! monsieur
préparez-vous à mourir
