How many encounters with poisonous animals have you ausanons had?
>>57898794
I had one with a small poisonous snake in Queensland. Don't remember it's name, but it was mainly black with some red. I didn't realise that it's poisonous at first so I tried to take a closer look at it, but my wife who is scared of snakes as Fuck dragged me away. Good on her I guess.
Red belly black snake lived in our back yard for a few years I remember. Also, redback spiders used to live in the bushes of our front yard.
>>57898986
>Don't remember it's name, but it was mainly black with some red
coral snake?
>>57898986
You dragged yourself away?
>>57898794
3 funnel webs in backyard
snake killed my cat
couple other snakes
on bush walks like a tonne of other stuff i never needed to (no shit i suppose)
>>57898986
Sounds like a brown snake, anyways you aren't gonna encounter poisonous snakes unless you go inland and even then it's rare to see them because they're scared of people and slither away when they sense movement
One time i thought i saw a snake but it was just a stick
>>57899131
one time I thought I saw an anaconda but it was just my penis
Seen a lot of snakes and spiders, no idea what their power levels were though. Never been bitten/stung by anything worse than a bee
>>57899131
did you send it in to the museum of aboriginal inventions?
>>57899219
One time i thought i saw an anaconda but it was just my wifes sons poo that he forgot to flush
my mates dad killed a brown snake with a thong. idfk spiders and snakes mainly. Is it true plovers have poison spikes under their wings?
>>57899375
One time i killed a huntsman with a goonbag
I saw a black widow once
>>57898794
Probably seen about 4 - 5 venomous snakes in the wild
>>57899063
I think it's called just like this - red belly black snake.
>>57899070
B-but muh wife... Was it all but a lie??
>>57899447
Also my dad caught a funnelweb in a jar while really drunk once
>>57899437
I was working in an insectarium for a few months after graduation and I can tell you that it requires something extraordinary to make large spiders care about you and pose any real danger.
>>57899397
makes me proud anon
>>57899553
do they not just think "this is something warm so i'll bite it"?
>>57899658
They are in an energy saving mode all the time. My more experienced colleague wasn't afraid of picking it up and the most energetic reaction he was able to get back was slight twitching. However, once in two weeks we, when we gave it food it started to hunt becoming significantly more active. I'm sure it's tad different to what happens in the wilds, but probably not that much.
I live in Sydney, and i often get red backs in my garage during the summer, and i have had a funnel web in my motorbike boots before, thank fuck i always beat my shoes with a broom before i ever pick them up.
I live in the suburbs, mostly undeveloped bushland, next to it is all construction, forcing the fucking spiders and shit to my area
REEEEEE
red backs, brown snakes resting in the sun, on a camping trip to the Great Ocean Road we went snorkelling and there were a lot of jellyfish (we didn't go too close)
not much else since its Victoria, very safe here
>>57899375
>>57899397
good post
>>57898794
is this a serious question?
shit happens every week, over the summer it's bloody brown snakes everywhere; we wear gumboots when doing the mowing and the gardening.
they get in your shed then you have to dig around all the tools wearing wading boots to get them out.
they try to steal our chickens eggs, or eat the rats that try to steal the chickens eggs.
haha and the number of times I've almost killed a blue tongue when it did a shit job of hiding and left it's tail out
last year I was kyacking across the lake and a brown snake tried to get on the kyack because it was cold and sick of swimming
and every day we get red backs under pots, or bits of tin and shit
white tails arn't so bad because they set webs in the same spot, so you kind of know where they will be
>>57900516
Thanks to my awesome boss, I get to spend a week at a conference in either Auckland or Wellington
Which is a better city to visit in terms of general friendliness, beauty, coolness?
>>57900548
auckland is full of smug hipster twats with no balls
you'd like it there
>>57899375
He strangled a snake with a thong?
That's hard core.
>>57900157
>i always beat my shoes with a broom
>>57900608
Ironically, smug hipster twats will no balls describes the neighborhood i live in.
link related
http://chicagoist.com/2012/09/21/breaking_hipsters_love_wicker_park.php
I fucking hate this place, but i'm getting such a deal on rent that I can't afford to move out yet.
These fucking smug assholes in tight jeans running around in ironic mustaches
I'm gonna fuck someone up if a hipster walks up to me in a Hobbit accent when i'm trying to have a good time at a museum/bear in New Zealand
>>57900613
nah he hit it with a thong, i think it was one of those super auscore ones with the bottle opener on the bottom
>>57898794
Too many to count
>>57899375
nah they arn't poisonous
we just tell kids that so they don't spend all day chasing them around with sticks
bloody nuisance birds
>>57899063
Nah, coral snakes are North American.
>all these encounters
gah damn
>>57900781
lol used to freak me out in primary school, have a fear of birds now because of those fuckers and magpies
This thread is making my leg hairs twitch under the blanket. Fuckin' hell.
>>57900897
>tfw the entire Island you're on is the size of the city I live in, and there's 15x the population here
Hows the Island life? Are you a Statesider living/working in Guam or a soldier?
>>57898794
Living on a farm the number would be in the thousands
Would be too scared to ever move to Australia
What's New Zealand like for poisonous wild life?
>>57901050
>What's New Zealand like for poisonous wild life?
none
lots of stupid large birds though
>>57901088
I'm OK with stupid large birds. At least those fuckers don't crawl into my footwear.
>>57901088
>lots of stupid large birds though
aka god tier small game hunting im omw
>>57900947
old people put stupid things on top of their bike helmets to stop the magpies swooping them
when one has actually hit you though, they arn't scary any more
you laugh about it afterwards liek "all this time I was scared of something that pecks like a chicken"
>>57901050
foreigners that come here usually keep to the comfy citys and states, besides south africans they go straight to WA lol
>>57901498
im not gonna voluntarily let a magpie swoop me, let alone any bird. they all scare me now, even budgies and the little ones in food courts
>>57898794
While I was in south africa I came across this short fat brown snake while hiking, I nearly stepped on it actually
>>57901565
jesus man, get your shit together
put a glove on and stick your hand in a bird cage
go feed some pigeons
you weigh like 60-120 kgs, a bird weighs like 2kgs tops
you can flatten them with one hand, they are just big flies
>>57901672
but i cant. their eyes are souless and when they stare into mine I cower. I am well aware I am a pussy because of this but it's a fear I cant overcome
>>57901900
If it makes you feel any better I'm fucking terrified of bees, wasps, houseflies, basically anything that flies and buzzes.
lived on edge of regional cities when growing up, there was a brown snake behind the christmas tree one year, and you'd see the occasional one on a road or something
sometimes there's jellyfish in the water, never been stung
>>57901929
never come to Aus then hun
The first fatality by spider bite since the 70's happened here recently
>>57898794
Many.
My first was at 4 yrs old catching a small tiger snake in a tupperware container and proudly showing my mum then getting a spanking
>>57901900
>>57901929
>being cucked by small flying animals
>>57901977
Just for that I'm getting on a plane tomorrow morning you cheeky kunt
>>57900781
>>57899375
Plover spurs aren't poisonous but are filthy and will likely give you a nasty infection.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_shrikethrush
We do have a toxic bird though.
>traces of batrachotoxins (BTXs) similar to those found in the secretions of Central and South American poison dart frogs.
>>57902113
fight me cunt, meet outside maccas. thongs compulsory, boardies optional
>>57902166
haha I thought it was bullshit when I read it
you recon anyone has actually ever been hurt by one?
I highly doubt it myself
>>57902037
>fatality by spider
Don't you mean animality?
>>57898986
>>57899035
>>57899111
>>57899258
>>57899375
>>57899447
>>57899510
>>57900157
>>57900404
>>57900540
>>57901037
>>57901960
>>57902039
One less destination to visit. The one thing I am afraid of are snakes and I also dislike spiders.
>>57901498
I've had a magpie draw blood from my ear before.
But the suspense is definitely worse than the hit
I was bitten by a brown recluse spider in East Texas
>>57898794
I've only ever seen 1 poisonous spider, a red back (black widow), when I was a child
On average I see maybe 2 spiders inside my house a year, almost always Huntsmans
This year I've seen 4 spiders and they were all Wolf Spiders. I had a roach infestation - It's gone now and haven't seen any spiders hopefully I don't see anymore fucking Spiders this year or next.
Only ever seen 1 Snake, a carpet snake which are not poisonous.
I apparently almost stood on a poisonous snake when I was a child while my family was on a Bush walk in a national park.
I literally got bitten by a spider when I was in a rugby ruck.
>>57898794
Ran over a tiger snake in lysterfield with my mountain bike. Didnt stop to see if it was still moving.
Do redbacks count? I feel like I've killed enough of them that i wouldn't take it personally if one bit me.
THEY'RE NOT POISONOUS THEY'RE VENOMOUS YOU FUCKS
how did nobody mention this before now
>>57902477
brazil is just as dangerous regarding poisonous animals
>>57902477
>scared of snakes and spiders
>Brazilian
>>57903719
thats true
So do Australians actually exist or are they just a myth?
>>57903719
nobody cares
>>57903779
reee
Was doing pic related once and ran a snake over. Thought it was tree bark before it moved. No one got bitten.
>>57903719
>>57904008
>Pic related
>>57898794
Had a few run-ins with tiger snakes around my local river. I've only been in danger of being bitten once though.
Many encounters with red-back spiders. I was in our sandpit when I was a wee lad and there was a redback nest in one of my toy trucks, lucky I wasn't bitten tbqh, redback bites can kill kids and the elderly.
That's all I can remember, there was probably a few more though.
>>57903744
>>57903760
Most of the dangerous stuff is in Amazonia or Pantanal. Obviously there are snakes and spiders on the countryside, but it is nearly as bad as it seems to be in Australia. I've never seen a spider for example. Spiders only one or two that look scary.
>>57904617
snakes are very rare in cities. Spiders are all over the place but again pretty rare in cities, especially any kind of dangerous ones. Redbacks are the only somewhat dangerous ones that are common.
And I think theres been something like 1 death from snakebites in the last 30 years, and none from spiders, since the introduction of antivenom. In this way I'm sure australia is safer than brazil.
I've seen 1 venomous spider (redback)
I've had a handful of close encounters with snakes but never been in any real danger
For working on a farm I have seen a surprisingly small number of snakes and spiders.
Seen a fuck tonne of goannas though. But they're bros
>>57903427
>google Huntsmans
JESUS CHRIST HOW HORRIFYING
>>57900540
Fuck me, on a kayak?? Jesus tits that's insane. That's the one place I'd think nothing would get to you. Do you have these things attack eat your birds, planes and helicopters?
>>57898794
literally none
>>57904781
>I've seen 1 venomous spider (redback)
those don't count i've seen hundreds of them
>>57904979
>this is what Australian restrooms are like
When i was a kid I remember seeing a snake near the park in a little burrow so I bought it a mouse from the pet store and threw it to it, watched it bite and kill it
:( sorry mousey
have gotten really close to an easter brown (striked at me), copperhead snake (cockhead) and a red belly black. had to cut the head off the red belly black, was extremely difficult getting through the spine with a shovel.
>>57903309
Did it get infected?
Lived in suburban Sydney for 19 years although had a lot of bushland near us, this is what I've seen so far:
-almost got bitten by a redback spider (venomous) when I was 2
-had a huntsman spider (big but not venomous) living around my bed for a few days when I was about 4
-we used to have funnel-web spiders (really venomous) in our garden, once or twice we found them living at the bottom of our pool (they survive with a bubble of air) which made cleaning the pool basket bare-handed interesting
-had a brown snake in our garden once (incredibly venomous) and dad threw it over into the neighbours drive with a shovel lel
-used to go running around a bush track nearby and more than once came across redbelly black snakes across the path (didn't notice one once until I was already running over it and I think I scared the shit out of it as much as it scared me)
that's probably pretty tame compared to what some country anons would have seen
Do you lads help snakes out of the road? :3 Maybe I don't have to worry about a bite from ours murdering me (usually) but I try to get lazy snakes off the country roads if I see them in time. I just tap em with something til they go on their way.
>>57905526
>for a few days
The thought of this is so unsettling
>>57905575
yeah well help the venomous ones by running them over
Why does everything in Australia seem so dangerous? Like, evolutionarily why
Is it to protect from all the other venomous shit? They're all trying to out-venom each other?
>>57905636
Its very dry, barren and hot .. think about it, reptiles are made for this type of weather as well the isolation
>>57905636
no idea, it's strange hey
on the other hand we have no huge predators, I'd much rather come across a venomous snake than a grizzly bear or a wolf
Far off in Dreamtime, there were only people, no animals or birds, no trees or bushes, no hills or mountains.
The country was flat. Goorialla, the great Rainbow Serpent, stirred and set off to look for his own tribe. He travelled across Australia from South to North. He reached Cape York where he stopped and made a big red mountain called Naralullgan. He listened to the wind and heard only voices speaking strange languages.
This is not my country, the people here speak a different tongue. I must look for my own people. Goorialla left Naralullgan and his huge body made a deep gorge where he came down. He travelled North for many days and his tracks made the creeks and rivers as he journeyed North. Goorialla made two more mountains, one of the Naradunga was long made of granite, the other had sharp peaks and five caves and was called, Minalinha. One day Goorialla heard singing and said, "Those are my people, they are holding a big Bora." At the meeting place of the two rivers, Goorialla found his own people singing and dancing. He watched for a long time, then he came out and was welcomed by his people. He showed the men how to dress properly and taught them to dance. A big storm was gathering, so all the people built humpies for shelter.
to be continued...
I've been bitten by quite a few spiders working on houses and had a few close calls with snakes.
If you live outside a major city you come across them pretty often.
>>57905636
>>57905685
Two young men, the bil-bil or Rainbow Lorikeet brothers came looking for shelter but no one had any room. They asked their grandmother, the Star Woman but she had too many dogs and couldn't help them. the Bil-bil brothers went to Goorialla who was snoring in his humpy but he had no room. The rain got heavier and the boys went back to Goorialla and called out that the rain was heavy. Goorialla said, "All right come in now." The Bil-bil bothers ran into Goorialla's mouth and he swallowed them. Then he began to worry about what the people would say when they found the boys missing. He decided to travel North to Bora-bunaru, the only great natural mountain in the land. Next morning the people found that the boys were gone and saw the tracks of Goorialla and knew that he had swallowed them.
You may never see these lakes or mountains, but after the rain you will see his spirit in the sky , which is the rainbow. This is the reason why he is called Goorialla the Rainbow Serpent.
>>57898986
Red bellied black snake? Not generally fatal, but not a pleasant bite either.
>>57905592
yeah they're really fast too
you see one on the wall and it freezes, then you look away for a moment and it's gone
>>57898794
Under my house lives good hundred redbacks and had to give a whitetail what for last night.
>>57902441
Nah, beastiality is more an NZ thing.
Nothing is dangerous in aus.
>>57905685
>>57905704
t. grunnabarragrool minjaganook
>>57905704
hmmmm yeah let me open those aboriginal thighs and see that aboriginal pussy.... oh it is so messy and dirty, i see you shaved the picture of a snake into your pussy hair, it is aboriginal art... it look like done by retard, very authentic, let me lick on that pussy.... hmmmm it taste so salty....it also taste fresh... it not taste burnt, i hate burnt taste due to napalm memories byt aboriginal stupid nigger never discover fire so no way this pussy is burnt... it so fresh it taste like the outback... but unlike the outback this pussy has not had stupid aboriginal sand painting nigger wandering in and out for decade because you are virgin and have tight pussy... ooohhh this pussy so tight....my mouth does not deserve place in this pussy just like aboriginal nigger doesnt deserve place in society...... ooohh i want to make all you sexual tension vanish, unlike british who didn't make all worthless aboriginal vanish, they forget to genocide but it was Ok because now i have to get a taste of that pussy... this pussy taste so sweet like traditonal aussie banter 'fairy bread' with sprinkles.... but this pussy isn't colored, like sprinkles, it is just nigger black.... hmmmm so good anyway... hmmm squirting in my face, give me your digiridoo, give me your niggeryglue
>>57905784
besides whatever lives in your mums vag.
>>57905765
this
>>57905685
>>57905704
Abo here
This is just shit made up for story books to read to kids in primary school
The actualy stories if they are preserved at all are nothing like this and are usually just heroic stories about guys with huge dicks assembling harems and killing evil spirits with magical feats (starving yourself, cutting off your own dick etc)
>>57905826
Dreamtime comes from huffing all those petrol fumes.
>>57898794
That image overloaded my internet. And I haven't encountered any, even when i lived in North Queensland. I mean there were blue bottle jellyfish but they were all dead already.
>>57905826
got any of those stories specifically?
Hahaaa... Maaaaan fuck spiders
>>57905365
No I mean I have literally seen only a single redback spider in my whole life
>>57905837
Friend came back from working in alice springs , he said abos are openly carrying knives in public and wait for their fucking dole money on thursdays then wait outside of the pub to open at 10am.
>>57905800
I'm gonna be sick
>>57898794
Classic stereotype about Australians. The Chinese have eaten all the snakes from the entire island.
Brown recluse, black widow, possible coral snake, copperhead. That's about it.
>>57899553
black widow is not a large spider tho
also i've read in recent news that some churka from ingushetia caught a wolf with his bare hands because it got too close to his house
Just sneks
Red bellied blacks are pretty chill desu
>>57898794
I almost stood on a brown snake around Easter
>inb4 Easter memes
Also I see golden orb spiders everyday and can't seem to get rid of them, so I piss them off by destroying their webs.
When I was younger too, we'd get a couple of snakes, sometimes we'd kill them, sometimes they'd get away and once they killed one of our cats, the cat managed to kill it too though.
>>57906409
golden orbs are totally harmless though
they make fucking big webs though
Had a run in with some wild pigs the other day, they made me blow in a machine and I was >0.22
How long do you reckon I'm gonna lose my license for pham? I was being a dumb cunt behind the wheel, not looking for any sympathy, twas my fault.
>>57906546
dumb cunt
licence will be gone for months, 0.22 maybe 6? dunno
>>57899375
I forgot what thong means in Aussie and had a difficult time imagining that
>started working on a farm a month ago
>co-workers have already reported sighting a brown snake and red belly
pray for me lads
>>57901498
They had the council shoot a Maggie in my neighbour hood as it took out two different kids eyes
>>57906546
do they not use sentencing guidelines there?
Mostly spiders, which shits me to tears because I'm an arachnophobe.
A couple of snakes, but you learn at a young age in the country that they best way to deal with snakes is to avoid them, eg. 'don't fuck around in long grass at certain times of the year.'
I've come across Mojave greens rattlesnakes and black widow spiders. I've never encountered a western diamondback, thank god. They are more aggressive.
>>57905339
Not him but I remember when I was on camp we were canoeing and we had to go under a fallen tree. Come out the other side and theres a huntsman on me
Fucking traumatic when you're 12
>>57907474
Yeah, for >0.15 the minimum suspension is 10 months and fine $900
Its up to the magistrate if he/she wants to go higher than that, and because of what I blew they probably will
>>57905636
Come to Texas sometime. I can bring you out to reservoir and show you 5 different species of very venomous snakes all hanging out and a venomous spider then you can get gored by a feral pig.
You must live in the north or something.
>>57898794
Met most of the more venomous animals here, part of growing up in the country and travelling around.
Sneks
>King Brown
>Common Brown
>Coastal Taipan
>Tiger (2 species)
>Sea (Dunno what type)
>Blue Bellied Black
>Red Bellied Black
>Death Adder
Spoidas
>Funnel Web (4 species)
>Red Back
>Red Headed Mouse
>White Tailed
Random bitey shit
>Bull Ants
>Stone Fish
>Blue Ringed Octopus
>Box Jellyfish
>Man o War Jellyfish
>Bees!
>Paper Wasps
Most of them really won't bother you, if you don't bother them- except paper wasps and bull ants, they just want to kill you because they fucking can and they're cunts.
>>57898794
Okay. Theres a lot.
Brown snakes. Seen one out in the bush, in my backyard and a friends house who lives in a acreage around some bush so yeah. 3 all up.
Taipan snake. Spent holiday on a farm, walking around in the fields and stepped on one - lucky I had shoes on and was fully covered.
Fishing out at a fresh water lake and there was some bamboo patches and some snake came out of there and started charging me. No idea if it was poisonous or not, but knowing Australia...probs was.
Was actually bitten by a Brown tree snake a few months ago but their venom isn't that dangerous to humans so I just went to the hospital and they fixed me up. Cut my camping trip short tho.
Redback spiders in the yard, in my shoes, under piles of wood.
When I was little I was in Sydney to see family and I was with my cousins and we found a hole in the ground out by the bush so we got a stick at started poking down there. Next thing we know Funnel Web charges out and we literally shit it and make a b line to the house.
>>57898794
lots. Uncountable spiders and snakes. Centipedes, ants, scorpions, the lot.
I probably see at least one snake every couple days, not including the ones I own.
>>57904979
They're the most misunderstood spiders in the history of humans.
They're aren't venomous, but in the event of the 1% chance of being bitten, you can be allergic which makes them pretty nasty but on the scale of Australian spiders its basically mosquito bites.
They exist to kill flies and other small bugs that try to live in your house without rent.
They are the one true example of "its more scared of you, than you are of it"
They always try and hide in things you aren't going to use, like behind curtains or paintings. Just to give you some space.
Basically brospiders.
Plenty of venomous stuff, sure. Not really concerning.
I do on the other hand see tourists from Europe handle snakes like fucking idiots when I'm out.
