You are in a room with your mother
There are 2 chairs
One has erected dicks and other has knives.
Which one do you sit and which one do you let your mother sit?
Also I ask Russians not to post ITT
Sit on knives
Let mom sit on my legs
I've been in jail in Kazakistan
dumb frog poster
>>57532317
Sit on dicks
Have my mom sit on my lap
>>57532317
what color are said dicks?
Why would you sit on the knives? OP didn't say anything about you being naked so the penises wouldn't do anything.
>>57532489
>>57532492
Lol. But there is another answer. More than one.
I stand
or sit on the floor
>>57532639
So you are okay with sitting on penis with your pants?
>>57532665
You must sit on one of chairs
>>57532702
I'd probably end up crushing them desu, better than getting stabbed.
>>57532647
pls enlighten us with this jail culture
We both sit on the dickchair & deeply kiss.
>>57532814
If my friend-op lets me.
>>57532964
I was expecting Sweden flag
>>57532985
This has been tried too many times, they never answer it correctly - go ahead and tell them
>>57532317
>>57532317
მარტო ქართველი თუ შექმნიდა ასეთ ყლეობა ტრედს, რამდენი წლის ხარ ოპ თუ ძმა ხარ.
>>57532317
I put her on the dick chair then sit on her lap backwards so we're facing each other.
russian/10 joke
>>57532814
>>57533043
Okay. The right answer is.... TAKE THE KNIFES AND CUT THE DICKS. Awesome, isnt it?
>>57533435
wew
>>57533435
Ohohohoho
And next one: you are thrown out from aeroplane
there is tree of dick and sea of sperm
Where do you land
>>57533435
knives
*fix*
>>57533435
That's a dumb answer, if you could do that you could just lift the chair off the dicks.
>>57533476
I stop my plane in your hangar desu
>>57533513
In Russian it sounds in rhyme:
Boзьмy пики тoчeныe, cpyблю хyи дpoчeныe
Voz'mu piki tochyonie, srublyu hui drochyonie
>>57533594
No, no, no, he has mistaken. No tree of dicks. It's forest of dicks.
>>57533657
Yes, forest of dicks and sea of sperm, thank you friend.
>>57533435
epin :DD
>>57533476
>>57533657
I land in the beach
>>57533476
Why would ask a man insane questions before throwing him out of a plane?
>>57533889
Dogtor pawel? :D :D
What the fuck
Is this some kind of a Russian riddle that gopniks use for beating you up if you give the wrong answer?
>>57532317
Why wouldn't I just sit on the ground?
>>57532317
good thread
>>57532317
i want to die so the knives for me
>>57534257
წურო?
>>57534238
If you say it in Russia, you will be beaten. That's why it isnt right answer.
>>57534055
>Is this some kind of a Russian riddle that gopniks use for beating you up if you give the wrong answer?
no that would be asking for a cigarette
I sit one floor down on the ground and my mother sits the other one down
Defeated by your lacking grasp of the English language
>>57534328
ო ძმი
>>57532317
1. Sit on the knifed chair and make mother sit on my laps
2. Take knives and chop off dicks
>>57534393
Good thing I don't live in Russia so that makes it a fine answer
>>57534055
Worse
This is what you asked when you get to jail, some kind of initiation ritual to determine what you're made of and your future stance in the hierarchy. Answer wrong and you will be "rooster'd"(gangbanged in the ass).
>>57534692
And what did voice from the stool say?
>>57534692
Russian prisons are so dumb
In American prisons we just rape the person outright, much smarter that way
>>57532317
Tы тaкoй вapиaнт зaгaдки видeл?
Ecть интepecнaя зaдaчa пpo двa cтyлa. У нac ecть двa cтyлa. Пepвый cтyл ycтpoeн тaким oбpaзoм, чтo вocceдaниe нa нём мoжeт пpичинить физичecкий вpeд opгaнизмy. Bocceдaниe жe нa втopoм cтyлe мoжeт cepьёзнo иcпopтить peпyтaцию и знaчитeльнo coкpaтить coциaльный кaпитaл вocceдaющeгo. Зaдaчy нeoбхoдимo peшить, cдeлaв выбop нa кaкoй из пpeдcтaвлeнных cтyльeв cлeдyeт cecть caмoмy, a нa кaкoй — ycaдить cвoю мaтyшкy.
>>57534692
I want to go to russian prison now >_<
>>57534838
you want to be able to fit in can of condensed milk in your asshole?
>>57534692
>>57534904
What the fuck. This interests me in a disgusting way.
>>57534904
uwaa
>>57534763
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2aOX80f5wc
>>57534692
Stop lying. These questions are not actual anymore.
>>57534987
Remember Johnny - a rooster is not a man
>>57535010
Really?
Why are Georgians so butthurt about Russians.
My dad is Georgian and my mom is Russian and they love each other very much
>>57535147
Yes, I read about it!
>>57535010
Дa лaднo, зaбaвнo жe, ecли инocтpaнцы вcepьeз бyдyт дyмaть, чтo в paшкинcких тюpьмaх дo cих пop твopитcя тaкoй хapдкop.
>>57535197
Hy тaк тo дa. Moжнo былo бы им зeлeнoгo cлoникa выдaть зa фильм, cнятый пo мoтивaм жизни в pyccкoй тюpьмe.
>>57535185
>implying
They're just pretending
>>57535294
pretending, but fucking?
>>57535268
Taк a хyли, oтличнaя идeя!
Hey, anons! Lets watch the movie about life in Russian prison!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hk4PedGOn28
>>57535294
How about you explain why you and the rest of the Cuckishvilis get ass blasted over Russians
>>57535423
Oh it's this loser again :D :D
Do not reply to this creature, he's some assblasted mongoloid
>>57535390
My father told me similar story about his life in prison. Hope, I will never be there
>>57535539
Why did he end up in prision?
And what is the correct answer for the second question? Where should i land.
>>57535800
In any forest there is a lawn, in any sea there is an island.
B кaждoй чaщe ecть пoлянкa, в кaждoм мope ocтpoвoк.
V kazhdoy chasce est' polyanka, v kazhdom more ostrovok.
>>57535524
What do you mean this loser
I don't even know you
>>57536105
What if the island is a butt cheek and the lawn has smelly pubes instead of grass
This is stupid
I'm >>5753405 btw
>>57536316
fuck
i mean >>57534055
>>57532317
Can I use the knives on the one chair to cut the penises off the other?
>>57536105
Nice.
Have more? I really don't want get raped in a Russian prison.
>>57536410
ok. easy question for every Russian
you come into a cell. a prisoner
throws a towel under your feet. what will you do?
>>57533435
>>57536368
You must do it.
>>57534502
>>57536368
If you could take the knives off the whole time why don't you just sit on the chair with the knives taken off?
>>57536734
Kick it back to his owner?
>>57536858
Uffff. Your ass is under attack.
>>57536858
Gotcha! PISTON, UP THE TV'S VOLUME!
>>57536858
Yo man, you did it wrong. But I let you to have one more try
>>57535185
>dad is Georgian
Does he have a mustache like Stalin? Can you grow a mustache like Stalin?
>>57532317
Initially I figured the question never said the knives stood up so I could just sit on that, but my mother would have to sit on my dick or a chair of dicks so I could theoretically take the knives off the chair and cut the dicks so my mom could sit. If I can't remove them then just use the other chair to bash the dicks in until they are gone
>>57536734
Do I get context? If I ask for context do I get raped?
>>57537012
Trow my towel in his feet?
>>57536839
I would be holding the chair by the legs in this scenario. Like a zombie defense weapon.
>>57536734
If I just came to reason I have to show who the alpha is so I slam his head into the wall repeatedly and kick the towel around to soak up the blood.
>>57532317
Recite ancient elvish spells passed down from my grandfather's journal on his trip to Georgia
>>57537159
If you ask about context, you will be raped and go to live near a parasha (toilet). True man should know what to do with that towel.
>>57537161
Go to parasha, what is your name? Forget it, now you are Natasha.
>>57537297
*came to prison.
>>57537161
No. Do you want to know the right answer?
>>57537297
Go to parasha with him >>57537161
What was you name? Now you are Marina.
>>57537398
>go to live near a parasha (toilet).
Am I Indian in this scenario? If so it would be like home.
>>57536734
What if I squat on the towel?
>>57537455
lol
but you also should be ready to be fucked into ass for food and cigarettes
>>57537398
Alright my guess is just ignore the towel
>>57537486
Nice try, Polina!
>>57535390
i didnt understand shit. could make a summary?
>>57537549
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Green_Elephant
>>57537520
No, a true man can not into ignoring the towel. He must do something with it, or parasha will be his home for next years.
>>57537549
Didn't watch it but if it's like our movies something like this was probably said,
"You white bitch, GIVE ME SOME CHON CHON!"
I'll stay standing thank you.
>>57536734
Pull my cock out, clean it with the towel, and then rub it in the face of the other prisoner.
>>57537602
Idk put it up my asshole so they can't get their dicks in, if I can't figure it out might as well prevent assrape
>>57537602
TELL US NOW
>>57537695
Oh, you're wont be a rooster. Just deadman.
>>57536734
Piss all over towel and tell him to pick it up.
>>57537695
easy man, it is Russian prison, not Colombian. we are civilized people and we don't act in so way.
>>57537763
well id rather die fighting like a man than being a fucking fag like most of the roosters here.
>>57532317
sit on dicks. she can just go get cut the fuck up i don't give a fuck those dicks are mine.
>>57537425
yes, i do.
>>57537723
There is still a mouth left(you didn't think it only limits to ass, right?) so you're roostered one way or another.
>>57537928
Masha, you have no right to speak anymore.
>>57537928
You must wipe your feet with thes towel
>>57537723
kek what a fucking fag.
>>57538013
Why?
>>57538013
Really? just it?
>>57538013
This
*fix*
Very Russian threads
>>57538013
What? I thought the brazilian said that so I didn't.
>>57538013
Care to explain why? To show respect?
>>57538030
Because its the tradition in Russian prison
>>57538042
Yes
>>57537161
>>57538100
>he said nothing like that
Fuck wiping my feet was my first thought
>>57538118
Is this a Russian tradition?
>>57538100
no one would ever think to take a towel of a good man to throw, only towels of mashas and natashas (raped=petukhi) can be thrown
>>57538117
Its just only test of your knowledge about criminal life.
>>57538013
Way to ruin the intrigue, fucking spoilsport.
>>57537015
No but he can grow a beard if he wanted to. He only did once after he was depressed when his mom died.
>>57538118
well thats a retarded tradition, ill just use my fingernails to take his eyes off and ill guess nobody will mess with me after that.
>>57538188
пидp oн, eй бoгy. тaкoй aжиoтaж был, a oн вce cлил.
>>57538175
>>57538184
Strange, wiping your feet on someone towel sounds disrespectful.
Not that I know any better.
>>57538117
Act of the good will
If you reject it, than you're disrepectful
Simple as that
I'm an anthropology student and Russian/Georgian prison riddle culture is overwhelming me right now
I would do work on it in the future but I don't want to end up getting the sausage slipped by the Slavic solitary stockade sphynx after guessing wrong
Also informants would probably be executed by the vory
I still don't know why your father spend some time in jail...
>>57538175
I misread his post grossly, i mixed it up in my head with a text I recieved
My first reaction would be to put my feet on it assuming it was thrown at me, does this count/will it be good enough while everyone is raping the guy who threw it
>>57538325
same reason you will be in the next 5 years. Nobody gives a fuck.
>>57538250
They'd probably just kill you 2bh, surviving Russian prison seems to be based on being wise rather than through intimidation
Another riddle
When you are asked to close the prison window
What do you say?
>>57539393
Nyet
>>57539393
what window?
>>57539393
Tell him to close it
>>57539393
>>57539430
Russian prisons have windows?
>>57539393
Glass the cunt who asked me the question
>>57539463
>>57539423
Wrong answer
>>57539530
Some of them have
>>57539393
Sure thing.
>>57532317
why would anyone sit on any of those 2 chairs?
>>57539627
What is the answer that will prevent my ass to suffer?
Ok here is an actual realistic riddle that will happen to you.
You go to prison
you are approached to play a game of cards
How do you respond?
i need good russian films to watch pls help
>>57532317
I'll just stand or sit on the floor, faggot.
>>57539703
"The administration officers will close the window."
>>57539734
Gotta go fast?
>>57532317
We can I read more about these Russian prison riddles?
>>57537447
I'm pretty sure if the american just bashed his head in he can't take him to parasha
>>57539807
You are stuck in prison cell with 4 other guys
You cannot leave
>>57539734
What are we betting?
>>57539837
Where*
>>57539734
Nyet we play dotka
Me pudge
>>57539861
I give the cards...
>>57539734
Ask what game and the stakes
>>57539764
Your mom has to sit down faggot, what kind of house were you raised in to disrespect your mother by forcing her to stand/sit on the floor
>>57539871
It can be money or you will owe him(usually kill someone)
If you play you will lose
infa 100%
>>57539393
my favorite
>>57539911
You are asked to play a game of Seka and stake is 100 dollars
>>57539954
m-my mom don't let me play cards?
>>57539991
Ask how to play Seka
Another riddle that even Russians will not be able to respond.
4 Good boys are squatting on a tree branch
a man throws rock at two of them
How many are left?
>>57532317
>>57540029
You are learned how to play, you lose and now you owe him money
you are now labelled as milkable cow and you are basicaly free money for whoever wants it
if you refuse to play game again you are roostered
>>57540053
Only 4, the guy how trow the rock is dead.
>>57540094
>>57540100
The answer is correct but you must explain your reasoning.
>>57540090
what is the answer?
>>57540090
What happens if I run out of money, do I have to do favors by killing guys?
>>57532317
>>57540147
The riddle never said the retard hit him. Even so he probably killed himself because of how gravity works
What does this have to do with international shit?
>>57540147
>the guy how trow the rock is dead.
Not right?
>>57540153
I will let you figure this one out
>>57540164
You are sent in Kazyols cells which is one step above petukhs
The kazyol cell is like American prison where everybody beats each other for no reason
>>57540222
Are you retard? Best thread i see in months. Go talk about anime on /a/.
>>57540251
>I will let you figure this one out
Really don't know how to refuse a game of cards.
>>57540314
Give the dawn fucking answers.
>>57540251
Thats immensely preferable to the Russian cells, at least its understandable how things function unless the culture difference still makes it work differently
>>57540222
kys
>>57540251
>The kazyol cell is like American prison where everybody beats each other for no reason
As opposed to the much better reason of not knowing the answer to some retarded riddle about dicks
>>57540479
Those riddles serves a simple way to discover if you have being in prison before, or some parent/friend was.
When will Americans learn that they opinion is irrelevant on /int/?
>>57540607
Why is a monkey trying to speak to me?
>>57540386
The answer is that good boys never "fall down"
As for cards you cannot refuse, You'll have to play at least once but if your character is weak and they notice this you become a milkable cow.
>>57540479
Shut you idiot, if you are a decent person who is not coward by nature you won't find any problems.
Another riddle
-
A man who owes you money has been turned gay(He is now a rooster) he approaches you, with you money, extends hand to shake yours as sign of respect and prepares to give money
what do you do?
what if I actually like dicks in my ass
>>57540251
How many stupid riddles does one have to solve until he doesn't get fucked in the ass anymore? I slowly come to the conclusion that you guys just search for some reason to live out some homosexual bdsm-fantasys.
>>57540771
I take the money and punch him?
>>57540771
Deny the money 2bh I don't want to associate with a petukh
>>57540771
Let me guess. It involves fucking him in the ass?
>>57540771
Those a good riddles. Wish i had more time to spend with you guys.
>>57540867
We all know about endemic homosexuality in USA.
>>57540899
Congratulations, now you're gay yourself and you are sent to rooster cell
>>57540882
If they notice you're not idiot they won't ask riddles
if they do notice it's only matter of time since you start suffering
>>57540949
So you don't take what is yours? This is wrong
I will shower and post more
>>57540973
>We all know about endemic homosexuality in USA
how does that answer my question, you dumb third-world monkey
>>57541001
Idk if its mine, unless not taking it gets me a buttfuck then I don't want to even be near that faggot
Holy shit russian prison is like a ancient culture of itself.
>>57541058
Stop shitting up this thread murrifat, and also you don't get to call anyone a monkey when you elected one for president yourself.
>>57541099
*idc not idk
>>57541001
i just take the money and dont shake his hand
>>57541001
You tell the petukh to put the money on a table or something (never the floor, apparently?) where you can take it?
>>57532592
lol
>>57541149
I know, this thread is one of the best we've had for a while
>>57541001
wash my hands and the money afterwards
>>57540771
Tell him to put the money in your pocket. You dont touch him or the money.
>>57541405
Thats pretty gay 2bh, also you just touched a petukh with a part of your body that isn't your dick
>>57541494
I ordered him to touch me, he is submissive in that action.
>>57541618
You still touch him though
Who developed all this riddles. Was there some russian mafioso in prison who was bored and decided to write down some riddles and then told his men to rape everbody who didn't know the answers?
>>57541666
No, he touched me with his hands in a submissive way, you did not do anything. You should not act with your hands towards him in any way, he does not deserve that respect. The only way you get active is when you stick your dick in his ass and rape him.
>>57541759
Boredom, lack of women, but your theory is still nice
>>57541198
Partly correct
>>57541216
This is true
The answer:
You never, ever touch gay
if you touch gay you are gay yourself and you are sent in gay cell, where gay people rape each other
You can only touch gay if you want to beat him and even there is only 2 option:
you beat him with your foot or with an object
you never directly touch gay.
>>57541759
You misunderstand people don't rape who can't answer riddles
they are simply sent to special gay cell where other gays resides, and there active gays rape passive gays
>>57541780
But if he is such shit and inferior, why would he worthy to touch you outside the context of rape? For all I know he could just be trying to trick me into going down with him, he owes you money and he might not like that.
Even the Georgian says so >>57541864
Another quiz:
You are approached by an young gentleman and he asks you if you respect the local authority there
What do you answer?
>>57541864
That means I can still kinda beat my way up in the gay cells or are there some homo gangs that organise the fucking?
>>57541922
Some cryptic answer like "Respect must be earned"?
>>57541922
I say "yes, I respect the vory"
>>57541922
In or out of prison?
>>57541922
tell him to eat shit
>>57541922
sounds like a gov agent
I'd say "yes"
>>57542042
I agree with the serb.
>>57541922
"You want to go on a date qt?"
>>57541982
The gays usually have a boss gay and he has gay underlings.
Just because they are homo doesn't mean they are weak, they will beat and rape you.
>>57542006
So the local authority who runs prison has not earned your respect??
>>57542034
In
>>57542013
>>57542042
He asks you to hand him your clothes out of respect and tells him that said authority needs it for business
>>57541922
No, fugg the poleece
>>57542135
tell him to give his own clothes
>>57541922
"I only respect the authority of God."
And then I blow myself up.
>>57542166
Your ass is now able to hold condensed milk can
>>57542166
>you both end up naked
Accultured as I am now to the ways of Russia, I call you both petukhs and send you to the parasha
>this thread
Ayy lmao what the fuck OP
How do you know all this
>>57542135
if they need my clothes, what sort of authority are they?
I reject desu
>>57542167
Takbir
>>57542233
fug
>>57542135
Ask what business
>>57541922
rape him to assert dominance or tell him that I would like to answer that in person(and then if he's a small guy rape him to assert dominance)
I do not sit at all, and neither does she
the end
>>57542310
Inshallah brother.
>>57542300
You are now beaten
>>57542327
He won't disclose information but says its important and if you do respect him why you don't give in to his demand?
>>57542135
Apparently not. I don't expect them to snitch on me to the authorities.
>>57542375
You specificed that he was a young gentleman, never one of the authorities
I assumed that this was some random fucking schmuck
The answer is:
You respect the authority(If you chose to answer this) But you respect them with what you can, and giving clothes is not part of that.
New riddle:
You are approached in prison and asked: In the list of respectable people in this cell, which number are you?(1 being the highest)
I feel like this is the Russian equivalent development to /tg/ shit.
"DARE YOU ENTER MY MAGICAL GULAG?"
>>57542517
you roll lower than 19 you get raped in ass :DD
>>57542483
We are all 1 comrade.
>>57542548
"Trifon, Dmitry, you walk across Zavoloch'ye to find evil Chud wizard and kill for yasak, when encounter three lvl 4 petukh. Each make skill check roll Riddlecraft (Prison) for enter combat."
>>57542517
Time to roll my 12-sided double dildo
>>57542483
>>57542601
i agree with this
>>57542748
Before 1990 that was likely the answer for all questions in Russia.
>>57542483
Either I'm number 2 (next to the asker of course) or this is some sort of trick question, then I answer there are no respectable people in the cell.
>>57542601
>>57542748
And what if they point you at some idiot and demand explanation about why you think the idiot is same as him?
>>57542835
So you think someone is above you? That makes you a chmo.(an easily bullied person)
>>57542647
Dimitry, you failed skill chek. Roll for Anal Circumference.
>tfw no group to DM a game of Parashas & Petukhs for
>>57542947
We all got caught so we're all equal.
>>57542947
The question was only for people in the cell.
>>57542947
I am not him but also answered 2
I am 2 because the guard is above me, I previously said I respect the authorities here
>>57543183
The simple answer is:
"There is no such list" and people asking question will go away.
Here is easy one.
If there a mafia boss and mother of said mafia boss drowning
Which one do you save and why? You can only save one but you must explain why.
