Why is there no flowers in Hollywood?
>because Sylvester Stallone and Brigitte Nielsen ::DD:D
Why can buccaneers not draw circles?
Because they guess pi!
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>>57423502
Google tranlslated :DD
Estonians are characterized by extreme brevity in conversations. Traveler in Estonia stops the car: — Ride? — A ride. Go. — Tell me, far away to Tallinn? – Near. Go on. – Tell me, far away to Tallinn? – Near. Still going. – Tell me, far away to Tallinn? – Now far.
>>57423502
-How do you say "rotary bathtub" in english?
-Tina Turner.
-And "bus" in german?
-enter-pay-push-squeeze-exit
>>57424518
>push-squeeze-
Our buses aren't even that crowded
>>57423502
Google translated. I didn't correct the mistakes because it's more ebin that way :--DDDD
Flying a plane, suddenly crash, the plane begins to fall. The flight attendant walks up to the Frenchman:
- Do jumps and relieve the plane, you will save a lot of people.
The Frenchman thought, he drank all the wine, wyruchał all brunettes, shouted "Viva la France!" and I jumped.
The plane falls further. Stewardess asks the American. American thought, drank all the whiskey, wyruchał all the blonde shouted, "God bless the USA!" and I jumped. The aircraft continues to decline. Stewaresa goes to the Pole:
- Do you jump will save us!
- No way!
- Well let you jump you will be a hero ...
Polak thought, drank everything they could drink, wyruchał everything that moves, shouted "Long live the Mozambique!" and he threw a black man standing near.
>>57424518
I think i get the second one.
Care to translate?
King Kong walks the road and sees Josip Broz
-Hello Josip Broz
-Hello King Kong
How do you say nuclear bomb in Japanese?
Ni kaka keda
>>57425539
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha AASDHAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSAAAAAAAAAAHGGGGJJJJDDFFSK
>>57423502
What does Princess Diana and the entire US military have in common? They both got fucked by Charlie.
There is no doubt.
And doubt had to get out of the bus.
>>57425680
Pretty good
>>57425688
Ayy
>>57425578
Are you spanish?
>>57425526
>>57425578
Ayy ayy ayy
Estonian airlines, faster than train
Two estonian policeman on guard.
Suddenly, a car, completely ignoring speed limit drives near them.
Policeman 1: What to do?
Policeman 2: Shoot
Policeman 1: Bang Bang
Policeman 2: Not me,shoot the wheels
Policeman 1: Bang bang
Policeman 2: Not our wheels...
A fat man jumps off a building. What is his surname?
Dead.
The most violent mafia in the world is Finnish. Her victims die of old age, but in constant expectation!
Why did chicken cross joe?
Thats Joe's own business :DD
If on the road in Latvia, Estonian have overtaken you, so you're Finn.
what michael jackson did in elevator?
fucked a kid
>>57426147
I want context
>>57425539
where's the best place to see a serb?
in the crosshair of your rifle
my dad told me this one
Hello! This Tallinn prospect 13. The fourth entrance. We have a gas stove exploded, the explosion blew the wall! There shop paint products, all on fire! Now the second floor lights up, soon the whole house will collapse! — Hello... Hello... You've reached the Estonian service rapid response... you Have a problem?
what do you call japanese taxi driver
ishimoto XD
>>57426232
Painoi nappulaa = Pushed a button/banged a kid(button)
What Fredrika Runeberg said on a market?
Good heavens!
Norvegian one:
Which church brings light to people?
Burning one.
Estonian perseverance: to dial the wrong password until the computer agrees to accept it.
Ronny calls the police and tell them that Ole is hiding drugs in his tree stubs
Police comes over with axes and chop them up, they fond nothing and leave
Next day Ronny asks Ole: Hey, did you look in your shed?
Ole replies "Yes, someone chopped all my firewood for me"
Then Ronny says "Happy birthday!"
:D
>>57426528
Better one
What do the sami call their leader?
Laptop
>>57424875
>>57425526
"Suban-paguen-empujen-estrujen-bajen"
If you scream it like an angry German it sounds like some sort of rant in german. (I would make a vocaroo but right now I'm in a train full of germans :) )
Englishman goes to surgeon
Englishman:I want to be american
Doctor ok we only need to remove the half of brain
After surgery
Doctor:Sorry we removed 3/4 of brain
Englishman: Ai Saatana
>>57426716
no it doesnt
Nasreddin hoca borrows a cauldron from his neighbor one day. He returns it to his neighbor with a pot inside of it.
Neighbor: What is up with the pot hoca?
Hoca: Your cauldron gave birth! This is its child.
Neighbor is happy and he takes both the cauldron and the pot.
Some time later hoca comes back and asks to borrow the cauldron again, neighbor readily gives it to him.
A lot of time passes but hoca doesn't return with the cauldron, the neighbor goes to his house to investigate.
Neighbor: Hoca where is my cauldron?
Hoca: It died!
Neighbor: How could a cauldron die?
Hoca: You believed that a cauldron can give birth but can't believe it died?
>>57426835
Anyway, that was the joke.
Another one, this time in Catalan:
-What's the name of the Soviet Air Force Commander?
-Sicaus pataplof
"Si caus" means "if (you) fall". Pataplof is the onomatopoeia for something that hits the ground.
>>57426835
>German humor
Two Japanese, an Azeri, a Kazakh and a Georgian are in an elevator. A Japanese says to his copatriot:
- Man, all those Russians look the same!
>>57425741
Jaja
Supongo que sera madrileno. Ni Kaka queda, se fue pa Orlando.
>>57427245
What's the name of the famous Japanese porn star?
Jebiesuki Nabosaka
:----D
>>57427017
>>57427375
Taka Kuruwa :DD
Tatar ramazan has a hello to you
Which tatar ramazan?
Rocket launcher ramazan
-Hey did you see my car?
-Grey Celta?
-No, the sky is pretty clear today
>>57425450
>wyruchał all brunettes
>>57425450
>ywn wyruchal all the brunettes
A Portuguese came to Brazil leaving his beloved woman, years later he sent for her .
On the night they met began to talk :
- How is Maria ? You kept the loyalty pact that made us? I want to know , Maria , because I fulfilled . I was one hundred percent with you , Mary. Imagine , here in this hot land full of mulattos so beautiful , I was firm , Maria . sometimes I was already dying of despair. There could not stand . Took mulatto , he took home. Oh, Mary, how many times has this happened ... Then , the aga time , Maria , I remembered you, and with tears in her eyes, get off , Maria . And you, Mary , how was it ?
- Well, Alberto , you know ... go under and more difficult than getting off ...
Do you want to hear a joke? The cat with the tie.
A fine example of superior Norwegian comedy.
>>57426835
Yes it does you fucking autist
>>57423502
damn i thought he was a genuine japanese until now lmao
still i cant figure out who he actually is though
>>57428626
>>57428616
A portuguese called Manuel takes his wife's son, Joaquim , to meet its hams and pressed ham industry. Once there, Manuel shows his son a sausage making machine
- See here, Joaquinzinho . As you can see , when we put the ass of one side of this mat, we have sausage on the other side . Great, right?
Joaquinzinho , stupefied , answers
- Other , Dad ! But when we put the ass , we have the sausage , of course the opposite also occurs , no?
Manuel slap the face , and containing the fury , responds in tone disappointed
- No, my son . There is only one machine in the world that is the reverse of that ai: your mother, son . Only she can give me a donkey after receiving sausage !!!!!
>>57428626
.
>>57428626
,
>>57428626
>>57428853
>>57428814
>>57428757
Thanks for the (you)'s, oleg.
>>57428634
As a German, I can tell you, it doesn't.
plus, we don't even sound angry.
The bear is walked by the forest.
Then he saw the car, sitting in it and burned.
History is ending.
(need to be high to understandthe sense of the history).
Drapery opens.
There are two men looking at each other.
Drapery closes.
What's the movie called?
Seven :-DDDD
>>57428775
10/10
>>57428626
ebin
>>57428626
ayy
>>57428626
dying
>>57428904
Go back to your forklift simulator hans and leave humor to the non robots
2 bulgarians talking about cars.
>I just bought Seat Ibiza
>I just bought a Mercedes , you go fuck yourself
Ibiza is usually read as Ibisa here, which sounds exactly as go fuck yourself
>>57428626
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, the joke of a year!!!!
no money
no freedom xDD
Favorite American joke: Other countries
>>57429066
Why does everyone say we have no humour.
we do.
i laugh a lot.
i swear.
>>57429305
Post a joke, then
>>57425450
>Do jumps and relieve the plane, you will save a lot of people.
That's one sadistic flight attendant.
>>57426835
Yes it does you twit
>>57429305
Sure hans sure
>>57429334
In English or one translated from German?
What's the difference between a jew and a pizz ?
Cuisson time.
And the pizza don't hit the oven's door while heating Up.
>>57425578
fucking kek
One for the Russians.
Brezhnev calls Jivkov on the phone
>Comrade Jivkov?
Jivkov responds:
>We are loading, on both Varna and Burgas
>>57429452
Just post it Hitler
>>57427017
> mfw me granma told me the exact same story when I was a kid
> mfw grandma was secretly turkish
How could you abuela
>>57429452
Do what the OP says, Franz
>>57423502
>Brigitte Nielsen
en tajunnu tätä
>>57427375
Famous Japanese car repairer
- Hajosiko Toyotasi
:-DDDDDD
>>57429357
>That's one sadistic flight attendent.
>That's one flight attendent.
All flight attendents are sadists, why do you think they want to spend their lives watching people crammed in a metal tube 30,000 feet (9,144) above the ground.
>>57427017
>Nasreddin hoca
This guy and Tricky Peter are always outsmarting each other.
>>57429505
>>57429487
See >>57424091 you autists
Cojones disturb the bad dancer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SpA9R-W16Y
>>57429571
Gay post a good one you nazi
>>57429571
Not funny
Drapery opens.
There are some hot naked women who are bent over, showing their butts open.
Drapery closes.
What's the name of the TV series?
Dallas!
>>57429455
In the US it's: "A pizza doesn't scream when you put them in the oven."
>>57429632
Is it translated from Spanish?
I dont get it :v(
>>57429571
That's the exact opposite of humor, lad.
This list contains the names of the ten japanese men involved in the biggest bank robbery in Japan's History
1.Sartaro Obanko
2.Kataro Oshefe
3.Mataro Okaisha
4.Kotiro Nakara
5.Kataro Anota
6.Sairo Korendo
7.Fujiro Nakombi
8.Batero Nomuro
9.Entraro Nakana
10.Tomaro Noku
>>57428626
Why are only Russians laughing to this, pls explain
>>57429619
>>57429671
you can't even understand it ;_;
>>57429618
Two hunters are walking through the woods. Suddenly, one starts getting seizures. The other one calls an ambulance.
The doctor tells him "First you have to make sure if he is dead or still alive" "Okay" the hunter replies.
A loud bang is heard before the hunter asks "He is dead, what now?"
>>57429727
It's all one guy, see how all the Russian laughing posts are over a minute apart?
>>57429759
Old joke, not even German in origin, 2/10 originality but at least the joke is ok
>>57429545
Sano se ääneen
Lesson of Hungarian.
How do you say "a bee"?
Seremed
And a wasp?
Neseremed
And a bumblebee?
Neseremed turbo :DDDD
>>57429810
Its the only joke i know that's not a pun, I'm sorry
>>57429759
Two hunters are walking through the woods. One gets bitten by a snake on the dick. The other calls the hospital and asks what to do. They tell him "You have to suck the poison out" and he hangs up.
The bitten hunter asks" What did the doctor say"?
"Nothing we can do , you are going to die"
There are lots of hunter jokes tbqh.
>>57429664
You need to be a bit of a laísta.
>>57429835
Bumblebee is ebeneseremed.
>>57429924
poofthetic
>>57424091
>>57429759
Not funny.
>>57423502
Kenobi asks Darth Vader:
-Tell me, does this galaxy has Baumax?
-No, here is just Obi van Kenobi.
Say it with one word: good looking man from Dublin digs a hole!
...?
Ortography
>>57429835
>>57429759
I can.
I swear.
there is a chair
the chair walk with shoes
la la la la la
he walk on the street
the chair is walking haha
>non-anglo """""""""""""""""humour"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""22
>>57430058
>le funny walk
>le man wearing le dress
this is beyond autism
>>57430259
best joke so far
Finnish was taken by the Swedish and Norwegian sauna, and decided to show how well he would take steam and began to throw water on the sauna heater. Soon, the Norwegian scampered out of the bath because of the heat. The Swedish did not start, but started to throw water on the sauna heater itself. Soon, Finns had to leave the sauna. It took a quarter and a Swedish company came out red like a crab. Finnish and Norwegian Swedish wondered duration of the massacre and soon the Swede said: "No matter how much I threw the water, it does not shut down the stove, and I decided to come out."
:DDDDDDDDDDDD
>say 8 7 6 in swedish
or
>say black fire gay in Finnish
or
>say kynä os auto mitä in english
or
>say kiva kymmennen riisi lehmät in english
- How do you say mother-in-law in Greek?
- You bother.
- How do you say divorce in Arabic?
- The clam is walking away.
- How do you say ejaculation in Japanese?
- It's over.
- and how to say unsatisfied in Japanese?
- How come it's over?
- How do you say "sweetheart, get on the motorbike" in Arabic?
- Sweet girl, put the gash on the Yamaha.
- How do you say dog in English?
- Dog
- And how do you say veterinary in English?
- Dogtor
>>57430348
2deep4me
>>57430486
>how do you say sauna in japanese?
mokomaki hikimaja
>>57430577
otta suu seks
>>57429759
At least you tried
>>57428698
>still i cant figure out who he actually is though
That's an actual Finn.
>>57426627
made me smirk
>>57423502
What is Finnish favorite number? :D
Twenty-six! xDDDDD *in Finnish accent*
oh a south african joke...
Did you hear about the joke about a nigger going to heaven?
Now you have.
>>57430917
What is the finnish accent like?
>>57429882
Pretty sure that one exists in every languages
>>57431138
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGaucDp9Rls
not him
>>57430917
what you can read in the bus at the driver's cab in different countries:
former Soviet Union:" Do not talk to the driver while driving!"
in Italy:" Do not reply to the driver while driving" in Finland: "Tell the driver to go faster!"
>>57431232
I'm not sure what I expected desu.
>>57431138
>What is the finnish accent like?
Sug-å-sex :DDD
What do you do if you see an abo with half a head?
[spoiler]Stop laughing and reload[/spoiler]
Why don't blind people bungie jump?
It scares the fuck out of the dogs
>>57431470
why do australians smell bad?
so the blind can hate them aswel
Whats the difference between echidnas and police cars?
The pricks are in the inside.
What do you call a German tank in the jewish district?
A ghettoblaster
>>57423502
>because Sylvester Stallone and John Wayne ::D:DDD:D
Why does the foreign man cross the road without looking both ways?
He's czech.
>>57431656
Kek finally germoney
The American fellow just moved in the sewers.
>What's his name?
Tom Bino
>>57430194
High five!!
>>57427017
We have these funny stories about a witty character in India too. Haven't heard this one though :D
>>57423502
Two Swedes meet each other on the street
- You know, Sven is such a faggot
- Did he borrow money from you and not giving it back?
- No, in a good sense of this word
Children's joke
Della just got run over by a car
Everybody was screaming "della died"
x-DDDD xD :DDDDDDDDDD
Michael Jackson broke his arm and went to the doctor.
The doctor told him: "You must fuck a child."
>>57432261
One of the only jokes that made me lol
Pekka sat in the sandbox playing one day, when some cool kids came and asked Pekka: "Do you want a beating, Pekka?". Pekka couldn't say no, so they beat him. In the hospital the doctor said "You must learn how to say "no", Pekka!". The next day Pekka went back to the sandbox to play and the cool kids came back and asked him again: "Do you want another beating, Pekka?". Pekka still couldn't say no, so he was in hospital again where the doctor told him again: "Pekka, next time you must say "NO!"". And so the day after that Pekka went to his sandbox to play again. The cool kids came back and asked: "So, Pekka, have you had enough?". "NO!", replied Pekka. :DDD
>>57432506
lol stupid pekka XDDdD
>>57426755
:DDDDDD
>>57426755
:DDDDDDDDDD
>>57429549
Japanin baras darkka ambuja
-Jokakuti Huti
X-DDD
>>57423502
Oliver Panis Jos Verstappen antais.
:DDDD
What's short and lax?
A manlet with diarrhea
למה אתה מתרגם את המשפט הזה בגוגל תרגם ?
>כי אתה גוי אוטיסט שלא יודע עברית D:D::
>>57434864
Kek
Yes initiate it the goy knows
What jews do after sport?
Sweating
>>57435289
ehhhh my sides ahhh
nice try eurofag
>>57435289
Go back to work
>>57429759
What the fuck was that Rudolf
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Baskin Robbins (Ice Cream chain)?
Baskin Robbins has 32 flavors and Michael Jackson fucks little boys
Jew , Negro and a German born sons ( all the same ) .
The nurse had forgotten their mark and did not know whose that is .
- Excuse but I do not know whose that is because I forgot to mark . Please enter gentlemen may know .
Enters and exits Jew :
- All the same I do not know .
... It comes and goes Negro :
- I thought that my will be black but , however, and it did not . I have no idea.
Enter Germany coming out with the baby in his arms and says :
- This is mine, that a Jew That Negro .
- How do you know?
- I went in and said " Hi Hitler ." My straightened up , Jew shit to a black man cleaned up .
What is the difference between a Jew from the Negro ?
- The first riding camps , and the other colonies
Hitler to Hans : we kill 5000 of Jews and 1 dentist . Why dentist ? HA ! - I knew about the jewish nobody asks .
Polak , Rusek and Germany faced the devil.
The devil says :
-Who Was the longest withstand without pissing receive state ownership .
Germany begins .
One day , two days , the peed after 5 days .
Then Rusek .
1 week , 2 weeks, lasted 5 weeks.
Then the Pole .
1 year, 2 years , 3 years ...
After five years, the devil says:
-Good Pole won. Just tell me what a miracle You held for so long without piss ?
A Pole said:
-What superglu mend no power can unmend!!!
epin
Do you want to hear a joke?
The donkey is sad
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>57436503
What did the stupid Pole say when he threw a bowling ball in the river?
"There's one nigger that won't hatch!"
Why did janny delet my joke?
>>57423502
An Italian, a Spaniard, and a Moroccan are in a plane.
It's running out of fuel, so the pilot asks the passengers to throw to the outside, of their cargo, whatever is abundant in their respective countries in order to lighten up the aircraft.
The Italian throws pasta and other food ingredients he was carrying.
The Moroccan throws moroccan crockery.
The Spaniard throws the Moroccan.
Finnish, norwegian and a swedish guy ended up in a deserted island. The norwegian shot them all.
Finnish and russian went to a sauna. Russian died.
An old lady comes to visit the doctor and the doctor is an old lady also.
~meta~
>>57436837
They did it for free.
>>57436912
~deep~
>>57436890
>Finnish and russian went to a sauna. Russian died.
humor
>>57423502
Hey Hans why are the jewish kids playing on the seesaw?
Hans: They are trolling our sniper.
What is incest in Greek?
daddy-let-go-of-my-dick
What is short skirt in Russian?
barely-dont-see-pussy
What is fart in Chinese?
cheek-slit-cheek-bang
>>57437761
papalamelulos (papa laat mijn lul los)
zie poes net niet
wang snee wang pang
How do you call an elevator is China?
You press on the button and wait
When a Japanese meets a Chinese for the first time what does he say ?
Hello
>>57425911
We have the same jokes but with Irish people instead.
Why does every French tank have rearview mirrors?
So that they can always see the frontline.
>>57425539
i dont get it
>>57438386
topkek.
>>57438333
Aren't Irish viewed as violent alcoholics?
>>57437696
True story
>>57436699
No entiendo
Three Latvian men sit around fire.
"My son is police man he can buy 2 potatoes a week" says first man.
"My son is in army he can afford 3 potatoes a week" says third man.
"My son is dead" says third man. For him struggle is over.
>>57429718
top kek
>>57438411
It's slightly funny when you use the grammar cases.
It rhymes that way.
Josipe Brože
Kinge Konže
NATO officer confronts Albania for not pulling it's weight.
Why did you only send 1 tank to Iraq?
Ok... ok... we'll send them both, said the Albanian president.
>>57425539
Fucking hilarious
