You know how it goes. Practise languages, sing or play an instrument, chat, banter, meme, poker? :3, and anything else you want to Voc. Females encouraged.
INVITED: Australians, Slovenes, Danishes, and everybody else.
NOT-INVITED: Lizard people.
>English:
The Secretary of State of the United States of America hereby requests all whom it may concern to permit the citizen/national of the United States named herein to pass without delay or hindrance and in case of need to give all lawful aid and protection.
>French
Le Secrétaire d'État des États-Unis d'Amérique prie par les présentes toutes autorités compétentes de laisser passer le citoyen ou ressortissant des États-Unis titulaire du présent passeport, sans délai ni difficulté et, en cas de besoin, de lui accorder toute aide et protection légitimes.
>Tacos
El Secretario de Estado de los Estados Unidos de América por el presente solicita a las autoridades competentes permitir el paso del ciudadano o nacional de los Estados Unidos aquí nombrado, sin demora ni dificultades, y en caso de necesidad, prestarle toda la ayuda y protección lícitas.
good thread
>>57064461
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VaXrysQTwg
Here's a tongue-twister in turkish:
Dal sarkar kartal kalkar kartal kalkar dal sarkar
>>57067174
Realized that I should probably record that twister first for people to listen
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0r1F8NxPU2q
>>57067174
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1luOD9z9B1R
And here comes my favorite tongue-twister:
Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1mgQdZQVNTn
>>57064461
Crepe:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s11OCKFNl4fw
Spanish:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0k3WIaIM2sp
Burger:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s18GSnTZUS4M
>>57067505
>Crepe
Love your guttural R, m8.
>Burger:
Nice. 9/10
>citizen/national
I forgot to mention that. +10 points for verbalising the slash. Alternatively you could've said "citizen andor national," but the way you did it was fine.
>>57067471
Thanks for the corrections, here's the retake
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0KFWX8Y7JFf
Also you probably recorded before I posted the pronunciation of the twister. So listen this post(>>57067278) and try again
Some latin:
Stabat mater dolorosa
juxta Crucem lacrimosa,
dum pendebat Filius.
Cuius animam gementem,
contristatam et dolentem
pertransivit gladius.
O quam tristis et afflicta
fuit illa benedicta,
mater Unigeniti!
>>57067640
Thanks m8
>>57067779
>Thanks for the corrections, here's the retake
Yep, you got it! Your flow is still a little off, but don't worry. Native speakers often can't do it properly either.
Also I forgot to mention. Where it said "citizen/national" you should verbalise the "/" by either saying "citizen slash national" or "citizen andor national."
>So listen this post(>>57067278) and try again
Why? It sounds like I nailed it right the first time. ;)
>>57067959
It's not bad in fact, but you should fix the "sarkar" and "kalkar"s. You're reading them like you are reading in french lel. You should read them transliterally, like how you read them in german.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1MkHH2Sc7n7
>Geoforscher warnen vor der Gefahr von Erdbeben, die durch menschliche Aktivitäten verursacht werden. Wissenschaftler der US-amerikanischen Geologiebehörde USGS legten am Montag eine Karte vor, die neben Gefahrenzonen von natürlichen Erdbeben auch menschengemachte Erschütterungen in den USA einbezieht.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1bTJISrwDWI
How'd I do?
Anyway here is a song i sang due to boredom
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1oG3qYb0DCV
>>57067505
>Burger:
>Triggered in the first 10 seconds of joining
Congrats
I'm going to tell you guys a story from my life and you have to guess where the critical moment of autism is.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PtzJWrcb5a
>>57072057
fuck you
>>57072331
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Hqye0QwKrD
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NnSvmKfN7q
someone please r8 my spanish. also someone please post more spanish
>>57064461
English: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0VbapMuAs1F
French: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Ue96ybwijQ
>>57067174
http://vocaroo.com/i/s056L8R2po2u
>>57067804
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1daiuoSdpTf
>>57072057
Kek.
> my first reaction is to think they're making fun
I-iktf
>>57073049
literally 10/10, take notes Babs ;D(>>57067959)
>>57064461
>En
http://vocaroo.com/i/s19P8SlX5bEE
>Fr
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1vSyfSJEaBR
>Es
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0t3TrPjICsN
>>57067174
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ZBDmqtH9TM
>>57073079
>1454155250429.jpg
you have no idea how accurate that is
>>57064461
>brit
http://vocaroo.com/i/s12ivNev1EHD
>french
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1oCH1KdeMy1
>spanish
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1y8xia9MmRp
>>57067804
>latina lingua
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0TtCXLIVhW7
>>57069884
>panzer
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1kNaHDDHdQt
I'm still waiting for my slovene.
>>57073049
>English:
Pretty much flawless. Great job!
>>57073647
>brit
>whom
I know it doesn't make sense because "Why," "What," etc. pronounce the W but "Whom" is actually pronounced like it is spelled "Hoom."
>>57073368
>take notes Babs
I'll add it to my folder and make special annotation.
>>57073842
why skip me? :c
>>57073629
you need to stop smoking before it's too late, trust me
>>57073868
My bad, didn't see it. The tone of your voice sounds American, but I still hear a very slight Euro accent. Interesting. You spoke a little bit too fast I think, so it made the part "named herein" a little difficult to understand. Otherwise pretty much flawless.
>>57073962
Who are you, my therapist?
Don't worry, I'm planning on switching to heroin soon.
>>57074019
nahh lad I'm just saying tb h.
Take it from a near 20 a day guy, it's gonna cost you a tonne.
>>57074112
>20 a day guy
dude... that's... you need to cut back man. the voc threads can't afford the loss of your beautiful voice to throat cancer.
>>57074160
it starts with one, then 2-5 over the weekend, then you buy a pack during the week... then more, then more.. before you know it you'll be averaging 10-15 a day. Careful lad
>>57064461
wew
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0MHKcBnizhm
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1HcoysSRXBv
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1pD7oRSK4Pd
>>57073967
>sounds American, but I still hear a very slight Euro accent
Well that's funny, I'm actually a spanish native speaker from SA.
>"named herein"
Yeah, I didn't know how to pronounce it so I just rushed it.
Thanks
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NLK31B7g90
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
>>57074618
spoopy as fug
>>57074526
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0MHKcBnizhm
Really good You almost sound American, you'd fit in perfectly in a place like Florida.
>>57074566
>Well that's funny, I'm actually a spanish native speaker from SA.
Sounds about right. Most Euros I've heard on here have a non-specific accent that I now just think of as a general European accent.
>>57074618
W-what the hell is that?
>>57074526
The Czech accent on the last recording is quite striking.
>>57074785
>You almost sound American, you'd fit in perfectly in a place like Florida.
now i dont know if you are meming
>>57074831
how else was i supposed to read it?
>>57074866
>now i dont know if you are meming
:o)
>>57074785
>W-what the hell is that?
Are you for real, Babs?
>>57074887
Yeah seriously, what is it from?
>>57074785
>non-specific accent that I now just think of as a general European accent.
for real? Seriously, you think that Pierre and Janusz have a similar accent? Or Jeremie and ano?
There is a pretty clear different, tbf
>>57074920
Special agent Mulder and Scully.
>>57074883
>:o)
what's the difference between a Jew and a Russian vocrue
I finally learned to sing this piece, but I had to transpose 2 notes down since my range isn't that great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY23x50Oy0Y&index=23&list=FLuuWNI9-kWSCdEI5kMsgk7g
http://vocaroo.com/i/s165v0BezRu2
r8
>>57074999
Dude that explains so much.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0LS9H1AaZbx
>>57074710
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ocPP80tS75
czech
Demonstranti se domáhali vstupu k Hradu, nepustili tam ani Kalouska
Stovky demonstrantů proti čínské lidskoprávní politice, kteří odpoledne protestovali na Kampě, se v úterý vpodvečer dožadovali vstupu na Hradčanské náměstí. Pochodu se zúčastnili i předseda TOP nula devět Miroslav Kalousek či europoslanec Jaroslav Štětina. Ani ti se však přes policisty, kteří průchodu k Hradu brání, nedostali.
sorry for being a pussy yesterday, i can't take banter
here's a song
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0SQ3KBwjux1
>>57075454
>i can't take banter
thats not the only thing youll be taking bby :^)
ok sorry
>>57075210
you might want to turn your volume up for this desu
>>57075454
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0SQ3KBwjux1
Yeah dude, It's just a bit of banter. Was worried we weren't going to hear the uke anymore tb h
>>57071278
>>57075454
This is why I hate Belgium.
>>57075292
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1EqlOGqBXfC
>>57075210
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Z3QwWkyMMK
also tfw i've been alone in the poker room the last 4 hours
>>57071278
that's me singing ;_;
>>57075590
Nah I have nothing else to do with my spare time and it's fun to play.
>>57075503
:^)
>>57075292
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0wi6qbbJSac
there are never ever any spanish speakers in this thread
>>57075776
you read everything correctly/10
>>57075925
>čečina
:3
>>57075970
Hablo español pero no puedo notarle.
>>57075817
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0n586X7liK4
>>57076051
>you read everything correctly/10
I bet Kalousek's behind this
>>57076121
>I bet Kalousek's behind this
if so i cant feel him
>>57076156
not until it's too late
>>57076107
http://vocaroo.com/i/s01HFfS458SP
>>57075176
How can you ever forget it? It's such an iconic tune and you even say you were into the series at the time. Instead you begin to think something....... paranormal is happening to you :^).
You big babby.
>>57075292
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0op1VIuD6lv
>>57076247
>ktežy
>>57076234
its never too late
>>57076290
dont bully him, hes only been here 5 years :^) >>57076247
>>57076290
>>57076372
The ř in both kteří was spot on, what's your beef?
>>57076431
>was spot on
>moje pľuce
>>57076431
>spot on
>>57076247
>Instead you begin to think something....... paranormal is happening to you :^).
kek. idk, just never paid much attention to the theme.
Any one have any easier requests for songs to sing? I'm bored pals, and want to sing.
>>57074710
LoTR:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0s9LzGadPdA
>>57064461
English (attempt at an American accent pls no bully):
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ur8thIIpzf
Fench:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1l4CbYPHyXp
Spanish:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PQtU4Uozkh
Babs I've seen you alone in that room for whole day... sry I'd have joined (and still would) if I wouldn't be so damn busy with some school stuff
>>57075454
>>57075741
I knew it you would come here to claim it thats why i posted here..Now notice me..Anyway here is some noise/drone and rate it please
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1u7gwHkl1mj
>>57076959
twinkle twinkle little star?
>>57064461
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0a5uJvh3Kjh
>>57077055
10/10. Good stuff mate
It was a pleasure to bang, thought Jerome of Brittany, the niggest playa on the West Coast, just as his brown baguette left the nether regions of a cheerful young lad from a village nearby, who preferred to go by the name of "Pierre". Gentle hand of the obsidian warrior swept through Pierre's matted hair, reeking of oh-so-manly sweat and cigarettes. An insult of endearment left his parched lips. They both knew what was going to happen next. The tantric ritual of pied noir. Just as Jerome put one of his masculine feet inside Pierre's wanting anus, somebody rapped on the door with insolence. Was it him already? Jerome was a little scared and his young lover felt that in his colon.
"Open up!" demanded a shrill voice from outside, trying to take down the door with some considerable success. "I'm going to shoot!"
Pierre crawled toward the door, behind him limped mighty Jerome, his feet stuck in the middle of something. Little Frenchman couldn't resist giving the doorknob a few licks and paid the ultimate price – a sudden attack at the door's wicked frame knocked Pierre's yellowing teeth out. Not that it bothered him, oh no. The man looking at them towered even above Jerome, who was a big guy already. "N-Nige", whispered the nigger. "Me", said Nige. "You two cocks thought you'll escape me in this shithole, eh? Well guess what, nobody offends a lad and gets away with it!"
Left hook knocked Jerome out. Suddenly he felt a moist sensation of penis forcing its way through his refined mouth. Well, thought the black monsieur, in every nigga's life comes the moment to be fucked. Nigel wasn't the cruelest of lovers, oh no. Pierre simply drowned in semen, it was perfectly understandable to both men still alive that accidents happen. They knew, the experienced men, that true love needs sacrifices.
"Bloody hell, I'm going to cum!" shouted Nigel in his exquisite Black Country accent, as black gobbies are the best gobbies in France.
>>57077145
>Jerome was a little scared and his young lover felt that in his colon.
>>57077100
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Niq4bn42KF
>>57077145
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1j8QLEcs6JD
>>57077049
Oh, well, sorry. Noice noise.
>>57077050
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15T4fNxzZbu
With added ABC's.
>>57077329
7/10 your English needs some refinement
>>57077461
nice thanks!
An chead stad eile, Na Ceithre Cúirteanna
>>57077461
Well since you now notice me here is a song.. I can sing too you know but not as good as you though..;)
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0TCi2Ubxheg
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0TCi2Ubxheg
>>57078022
I knew what that was in the opening chords, holy shit. Have you seen TMG live? I saw John live not too long ago and it was great, when he sang that everyone cheered it was so neat. I'll sing you a cover once I finish my homework.
>>57078426
TMG was here couple of months ago where they played in a small cozy venue and John Darnielle actually played ''Letter from Belgium'' and ''Your Belgian Things'' which doesnt happen quite often...And yes they played ''Going To Georgia'' which is my favourite TMG song desu ...
>>57064461
http://vocaroo.com/i/s14PAQRdi7Nd
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WRE2z8GDDw
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1mTQo5Jc0o2
>>57067174
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VtYfhrWRvh
>>57067483
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1EUFli7JB2k
>>57067804
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1odk2SNW87r
>>57074710
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1A337WJEU0S
>>57075292
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ZvuXLdBga7
Med regnen silende ned kort for kampstart, så viser Skotland sig frem fra en helt sædvanlig og velkendt side.
Der bliver altså et par våde bolde at håndtere og mens der havde været spekuleret i, at Jonas Lössl skulle starte i stedte for en småskadet Kasper Schmeichel, så er der altså Leicester-keeperen, der vogter buret.
>>57077145
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1f1kbXF2keX
Lads, your best Gordon Ramsay impressions, please
>>57079482
what's wrong with black country you racist
>>57079768
But it's nothing like my accent, ol' buddy, ol' pal. I actually don't mind it, though tb h
>>57079740
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fVPp1epfTU
>>57079740
Maybe tomorrow
>>57079948
Although he is originally from Scotland, his accent is absolutely southern English. Nice try Janusz
your rating:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0LociNZn7Np
>>57080044
wanted to parody ol Gordon and give him some mellow Welsh bitchboy vibe
then I realised I can't do Welsh at all
>>57079363
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15GlDTS7bgh
>>57080121
Welsh is tricky, I can't do it for fuck.
>>57079363
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1BdUA4HxAkX
>>57080177
Well what CAN you do?
>>57080293
Finnish qtπs in the bum :^).
>>57080250
Your english is fantastic.. Try a bit of Ramsay
>>57080293
In the sense of accents? My west country isn't too bad I guess. I don't really do accents lad considering mine is the most boring and monotonous English accent going I haven't the slightest idea how to add flare.
>>57064461
here's a tongue twister in spanish
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15SfcEjmbXv
"Tres tristes tigres tragaban trigo en un trigal."
>>57080600
I've never heard that guy talk though.
Alright lads going to sleep. Goodnight.
>>57077145
(1/2)
His plump fingers typed aggressively at his keyboard, double tapping at the sticky space-bar, "Jebediah Babs grunted and howled as his monstrous Amish cock drilled deeper inside of Germanic Melike."
"Januszski," his mother shouted as she made her way down into the basement which reeked of ammonia and cum, "Supper is ready, honey, come up stairs to eat." He let out an audible gasp as he quickly minimised the windows on his CRT monitor. "Yes, Mama," he said, and began the treacherous journey up the stairs, wheezing.
He sat down at the table. His eyes sunk deeply into his greasy face, peering down at the chleb ze smalcem. He sighed. Suddenly, 8 men wearing balaclavas stormed into their 1-bedroom home, brandishing pistols and assault rifles.
Janusz shreeked. "Not again!" his mother yelled to the intruders, "We've been robbed twice this month already! We have nothing left!"
One of the brawny men stepped forward. His mother was fearful, yet aroused. "Ma'am, we are Policja. We are here to serve an arrest warrant for Janusz Jąderski for illicit publication of loli erotica and homosexual propaganda. We were tipped off by one of our undercover agents with Korea secret intelligence. Your son has been participating in gay circlejerks."
Janusz began to fume, his portly face grew red. "j-j-jews..." he mutter, "f-fucking... f-fuc... NAPOLEON!!!!!!!!!"
"Janusz, pieprzony idiota!" his mother yelled. "Officer, please, he's my only son. He's not right, you understand? I wasn't a very good mother while I was pregnant with him. I smoked and drank." She gently stepped forward—though the young mother felt washed up, her slender 32 year-old body still yearned for satisfying. "Isn't there anything I could do?"
>>57077145
>>57080816
(2/2)
The strapping young officer moved closer and pulled down his balaclava to reveal his chiseled jawline. "I'm very sorry Ma'am," his 188cm tall frame towering over Janusz's eager mother, "Your son's crimes are too severe. We must take him down to the posterunek policji for processing. However, if you could stay behind while myself and some of my men remove certain electronic devices for evidence, you might be very helpful."
A pair of hands clenched firmly at Janusz's arms, sending a quiver down his legs. They loaded him into the police van and drove him to the holding office.
Janusz sat in the office, sobbing quietly. He peered towards the chief officer who was fingering through the evidence confiscated from his home, much like how he fingered through Janusz's mother an hour before. Right then a commotion began to stir, the sounds of young brown men loudly exclaiming, "ALLAH ACCKKBBAAAR!!!" At that moment an explosion ripped through the building. Janusz was blown fiercely out of the chair, much like how Janusz's mother fiercely blew the chief officer an hour before.
His ears rang, fire and smoke filled the building. He raised his head and looked around, seeing that the the police officers were dead, and the electronics destroyed. "That's convenient," he thought, as he picked himself up out of the debris.
He brushed himself off and lumbered home.
"Oh so I see that Officer Stanislaw and I were able to come to an agreement," his mother said, trying to conceal her smirk. Janusz scowled his face, "Dziwka," he thought to himself. "Mama, I need to use your computer."
His mother gave him a kiss, "Ok honey, I'm going to go take a shower. Goodnight, Januszki."
Janusz sat down in front of the computer, and began typing maniacally.
"Germanic Melike collapsed onto the hay floor of the barn, her lifeforce drained completely from her tender body. She inhaled deeply, catching her breath, and muttered, 'Just like how daddy used to do it.'"
>>57080755
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYagyuKZ5Mg
0:30 to 0:40 approx
>>57080755
or 1:05 -1:30 for top keks
>>57079363
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1kJZBoAJ0xg
>>57075164
I don't know anything about singing but that sounded nice imho
Is that Turkish or Arabic?
>>57075128
what is it
>>57077707
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0H7tURnKPv7
>>57080739
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0xnyG4lQg3X
>>57081101
Well you got stad right.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1KpuCfVABna
>>57081172
What the fuck how does that sound like this
>>57080515
cheers lad. do well on your exams!
>>57081313
You have to first jam a couple potatoes in your mouth, then try it.
>>57080141
Pretty nice, there were some screwups, like d should be normal in "bolde", "der vogter buret" got butchered. Your "altså" was more like "oltso".
>>57080250
Pretty good. The swedish like accent is very odd, and it's like you replaced i with y.
>>57081097
Just don't rush so much though the text.
>>57081313
As with everything, blame the English.
Irish used to have its own script, but English printers didn't include those letters, so people have to sort of mix n match sounds that fit into the Latin alphabet. Like, we don't have the letter "v" or "w" in Irish, so we use "bh"/"mh"
It was only standardised a few decades ago.
>>57081313
>>57081366
>>57081101
It's Azeribaijanii
>>57078927
That's awesome man. I'm jealous. I tried to sing "Going to Georgia", but i got frustrated because my throat hurts and it's making it hard to sing, so here's an older recording (8 months ago I think) I did. Sorry!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1e4vJmcZh6J
>>57081487
wew lad, Irish pronunciation is confusing as fuck
btw, what did that Irish script look like?
>>57079363
http://vocaroo.com/i/s09PZ2ta6GuE
>>57081971
Absolutely flawless.
>>57081470
Interesting, I went full kamelåså mode.
>>57082322
Ville jeg da også håbe på, da det er modersmål.
>>57081932
Chuaigh bé mhórshác le dlúthspád,
Fíorfhinn trí hata mo dhea-phorcáin,
etc
![ccceb9fe49ae48c1bef58024d07c66fb[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/u4TfBTt.jpg "ccceb9fe49ae48c1bef58024d07c66fb[1].jpg")
>>57081602
Schitterend makker !!
That was pretty sweet actually..really liked it..Thank you !! Gonna post yours in next vocaroo thread..Ehehehehe
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0YdFfLOI8UN
>>57082807
That looks pretty nice actually
It's a shame you guys don't use it anymore
>>57083133
It's used on old monuments and stuff, but most is written in standardised Irish now.
>>57082898
I really liked that... You're making me want to actually learn my guitar. Ha. Until then I will be campy and on my uke.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1v2IXQSmqy8
![Flintstones_Family_Car-1000[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/3aMZuD3.png "Flintstones_Family_Car-1000[1].png")
>>57083474
Goed gedaan mevrouw !!
Nice vocal you've got there..Mesmerizing..Anyway its amost 20.50 here so gotta go..will catch you on next thread. Tot Ziens !!!.
In mean time, thought you might like these..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLN-0LPtIFQ
Used some loop app and other stuff for these..
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1xeIgtvgPzV
>>57064461
>english
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Yxk8NZ7Q9J
>french
http://vocaroo.com/i/s13C49lhSASX
>spanish (ok i don't really have any idea what i'm supposed to sound like)
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cGXXAG3xBs
>>57075292
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0AK6IyXB4gK
>>57086043
post Russian
>>57086043
secretary should sound more like cэкpэтэpи
hereby should sound more like хиpбaй
you say united weirdly, but maybe that's just because you're saying it more British than American
English
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0SwLbOfWK3j
French
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Ij0sGqj4wQ
Spanish
http://vocaroo.com/i/s138Q3OY0ycF
>>57086858
Дoнéцкaя Hapóднaя Pecпýбликa — нeпpизнaннoe гocyдapcтвeннoe oбpaзoвaниe нa вocтoкe Eвpoпы, пpoвoзглaшённoe в пpeдeлaх Дoнeцкoй oблacти Укpaины. Coглacнo Кoнcтитyции Укpaины, тeppитopия, нa кoтopyю пpeтeндyeт ДHP, вхoдит в cocтaв Укpaины. ДHP кoнтpoлиpyeт пpимepнo тpeть зaявлeннoй тeppитopии. Эти зeмли, нeпoдкoнтpoльныe yкpaинcким влacтям, coглacнo пocтaнoвлeнию Bepхoвнoй paды Укpaины, «дo мoмeнтa вывeдeния вceх нeзaкoнных вoopyжённых фopмиpoвaний, poccийcких oккyпaциoнных вoйcк и их вoйcкoвoй тeхники», cчитaютcя вpeмeннo oккyпиpoвaннoй тeppитopиeй.
>>57087094
I'd rather have a Brit say something, but thx anyway.
>>57081487
>As with everything, blame the English.
or just make your own printers instead of blaming others for not accomodating you you lazy sods
>>57087435
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0SDfCbbFVgj
>>57087435
>I'd rather have a Brit say something, but thx anyway.
>>57088356
You seem to mess up the word stresses, and your ц sound is more like тc. That's a huge difference in Russian. You're pretty good otherwise.
It's not so bad, but life used to be better.
I used to have a routine, y'know? Dolores would be around. She'd wanna go *out* on a Saturday. She'd wanna take the paper and go read it in the park. And now that Dolores isn't around, I could still do that but it's just... Sometimes it's hard to convince myself to go outside, so I decide to stay in. And it's not *bad*.
I have one of those recorders that records the channels on the t.v. so I can watch all my favorite shows and never have to worry about missing any of them, which is wonderful.
But, I can't lie and say I don't miss Dolores every once in a while. But it's mostly just the little things. Like when you're eating dinner and you look across the table and you expect your wife to be there, but then you remember that she's dead. That stuff. That kind of stuff is tough.
I remember she would always put the mustard on my sandwiches for me. And the other day, I made a sandwich and I forgot to put the mustard on and I took a bite into it and I was like, "Why isn't there any mustard on it?". And then I remembered: Dolores is dead. And I cried for hours, just hours, mourning my wife again. It was like the old wound just opened right up again. And I was crying for hours probably, just hours, y'know? Which was fine. It was fine. That's just part of life, y'know? To just cry for hours because your soulmate is gone and she's never coming back. And y'know, that doesn't depress me. It doesn't depress me at all, y'know?
>>57087435
If you post this in non-cyrillic I could give it a shot and probably make you laugh too
>>57094623
And sometimes, the neighbors come knocking on my door and they tell me that I've been screaming in my sleep. I've just been screaming out, "Dolores! Dolores! I wanna kill myself without you!" But, listen, those people used to the loudest parties, y'know? And if I can't make a little noise myself, then that's just fair, y'know? It's just fair that I get to make a little noise myself. And its fine, y'know. I don't know, I don't remember the dreams when I wake up but I'd imagine that it's just me dreaming about my wife and how great life was when we were still both alive, when my life had more of a purpose in those days.
And, y'know, I look at her picture a lot. It's just that I look at her picture a lot. Because its right there, y'know, on the bedside and you wake up and go to bed and you're starting your day and ending your day with Dolores. It's hard not to look at the picture. She looks so beautiful in that picture.
But it's fine. It's fine. It's a part of life, y'know? That's part of how life goes.
I miss you, sweetie. I miss you so much.
I'm gonna do it.
Forgive me.
>>57094623
>>57094669
Damn...
>>57094623
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0afpqvazJno
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ZIFYy1PNdH
>>57095192
Thank you.
>>57095345
Np my man.
Charles Dickens' classic tale, 'Tale of Two Cities' starts off with the phrase 'It was the best the times. It was the worst times'.
In 1990 I moved from Chicago with my family to LA to seek my fame and fortune and and (within) a couple weeks of being there I got two important phone calls: one was from the talent coordinator for The Tonight Show offering me to have a spot as a comedian of on The Tonight Show and the second call was that my daughter's doctor had called up to say that her cancer had resurfaced.
A year prior she was diagnosed with cancer and we fought it and it went into remission and now it was back. And for that next year my life was pretty surreal -- its was like two different personalities, during the day, in order to keep my daughter at home with me I would have to learn CPR and how to work a heart monitor and administer medicine, and all these technical terms -- take her back and forth to get her platelets and blood and check up on her.
And at night I would go from club to club with the talent coordinator and I would work on my set, and try to perfect it and I would meet veterans like George Wallace and Seinfeld and Roseanne, and I thought that everything was great because we had beat the cancer
before, and we would beat it again, and this was the first time that I was going to be in front of millions of people on The Tonight Show.
>>57095925
And the first time on The Tonight Show I was extremely nervous. All I could think about while I was backstage being introduced was 'don't mess up, just don't mess up - whatever you do don't mess up'. And then the curtains opened up and there were 600 people, and the camera and Johnny's over there and the band is over there, and I don't know what I said for the next six minutes but I get six applause breaks.
And the great part of that night was that I was going to my car and I met Johnny who was going to his car, and it was just a private moment between us in a parking lot, of him saying, "you were very funny, were extremely funny -- start working on your second Tonight Show, because I want you back."
By the time I get the official call for my second Tonight Show, my daughter was admitted to the hospital. If you don't know about cancer when it comes back, it comes back hard. It's like beating up a gang banger for the first time, and then he's coming back, and he's coming back meaner and stronger and he's coming with his friends.
So in order to compensate for that you have to raise the chemo and you have to raise the medicine, and you have to raise the radiation which is difficult for an adult but she was only two.
So she was bald, which she doesn't mind cuz every kid in the ward is bald, and she thinks this is just part of life, and she can't keep her food down and ... you're not prepared for this ... there's no books, there's no home ed class to teach you how to deal with this. And you can't go to a therapist because in the black world a therapist is taboo -- reserved for rich white people.
So you're tryin to figure it out -- what did I do? Maybe it's something I did. Maybe it's something my wife did. Maybe my doctor diagnosed it erroneously. Something.
>>57095956
But at night I still have to be a comic, I have to work The Tonight Show, because that's what I do, I'm a clown. I'm a clown whose medical bills are raising, whose one step from being evicted, whose one step from getting his car repo'ed -- and I have to come out and make you laugh because no-one wants to hear the clown in pain. 'Cause that's not funny!
And my humor is becoming dark and it's becoming biting and it's becoming hateful and the talent coordinator is seeing that there's a problem because NBC is all about 'nice' and 'everything is going to be okay' and we're starting to buck horns because he wants everything light and I wanna be honest and tell life, and I'm hurting, and I want everybody else to hurt!
Because somebody is to blame for this!
So I buck up, and I suppress my anger and I form and develop a nice cute routine for the second Tonight Show. And i get applause breaks and I get asked to come back for a third time. And I'm perfecting my third set when a doctor asked me to come in, and I know something's wrong because even the doctor is crying. And doctors don't cry.
And he says 'We've done all we can. There's nothing else for us to do.'
And I say 'how much time does she have?'
And he says 'at the most, at the most, six weeks'. And I should plan for that.
And I'm thinking how do I plan for that?
I have a plan to buy her her first bicycle. I have a plan to walk her to school. I have a plan to take pictures of her on her prom. I have a plan to walk her down the aisle to get married ... how am I going to plan to buy her a dress to be buried in?
>>57096070
And I'm trying to keep it together, 'cause I'm the man, and I'm the man of the house, and I don't wanna cry but it's coming, and I'm trying to tell myself, 'Tony', I'm trying to beg the world 'just give me a chance, just give me a chance, just let me take a breath. Stop just for a minute. I wanna call my parents, and tell em 'what do I do'? I don't know what to do. I'm a grown man, and I don't know what to do.
And a voice in me, comes up like Denzel from Training Day 'man up nigga! You think you're the only one losing kids today! Twenty five kids walked in here with cancer, only five walkin out! This aint no sit com. It don't wrap up all nice and tidy in thirty minutes. This is life. Welcome to the real world!'
And he was right. So I bucked up. Because that's what I'm supposed to do. And on my third Tonight Show, and by that time my daughter had died, and I had six applause breaks that night.
No one knew that I was mourning. No one knew that I could care less about The Tonight Show or Johnny Carson. In 1990 I had three appearances with the legendary Johnny Carson and a total of 14 applause breaks. And I would have given it all if I could have just one more day sharing a bag of french fries with my daughter.
It was the best of times.
It was the worst of times.
Thank you.
>>57094644
Latinized Russian is an ass to read, I don't think anyone's ever read it properly, even actual Russians
>>57094644
Po drugoj etimologiji nazvanije proishodit ot shvedskoga "stack" - zaliv to est' ostrov v zalive
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VxkZN01dv7
try this
>>57096100
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1K28tAtP0DJ
Do you want me to read it all?
Also request for Swedes pls record me a proper version of my text with your swedish accent and tell would you understand me.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1DGcCk0U5Ap
(Vid vintersolståndet blir förhållandena ombytta, mitt på dagen når solen som högst 7,2 grader över horisonten och en en meter hög stolpe kastar då en skugga på 7,9 meter)
http://vocaroo.com/i/s06jJJjtav2n
>tfw accent
not many people can guess what it is
>>57096585
>Do you want me to read it all?
Yes.
>>57094891
>>57095415
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D85284NRjzw
