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Completely silent orgasm edition
"Oh no!" Will moaned. "How can such a beautiful creature hang out with such a beast?" he asked almost desperate with an 'I don't want to live on this planet anymore' face. Something sparkled in Will. When he looked at Taide he really saw a beautiful person. His eyes widened. Before he could think anything he had a crush on her. He was sure Jay was just in one of those phases when he had to lie just to get some attention. He'd never like Taide for real. He was a wanker who will never get a girlfriend only maybe the most desperate girl on world. Will was nice. He could talk to Taide without any fear to reject him. Jay wouldn't mind. In few days he'll find some new wanking material.
Who unintentional, unwilling participant in /nofap 2016/ here?
Why hasn't he messaged me back, lads.
where do i find a gf that isn't a normie lads?
>manage to fall asleep at a decent hour
>wake up 2 hours later with my heart pounding, limbs feel weak, panicky
"Oh, hello boys."
"Hi Mrs. Mackenzie." All three of them said at once.
"Is Will ready?" Simon asked.
"Let me check out." She said and turned around. "Will!" she called him.
"Leave me alone! I'm not going!" they heard his muffled voice from his room.
"Will. Your friends are waiting. Come on."
"Ugh… fine." After a minute he appeared with a grumpy face. "Bye mom."
"Goodbye sweetheart. Have fun. Bye boys."
"Bye Mrs. Mackenzie." They all said again at once.
"Can you stop doing this?"
"What?" Simon asked.
"Saying everything in one voice! What are you; the Bent Trio?"
Neil laughed. "The Bent Trio! Nice one."
"It refer to you, you idiot." Simon reminded him. Neil became a bit puzzled and then followed them down the block. "So? Why the long face?"
I'm out of absolute, fuck me lads
Please put on a fanfic trip, I want to filter you
>>52930197
Were your palms sweaty?
>>52930197
want some valium lad? i've got loads
>>52930164
That's what normies do. You must be patient. how long ago do you text her?
I love the guitars
>>52930199
>mom
finished The Intouchables
great film
>Idris Elba is an OBE
Institutional racism against whites
>>52930231
Sure lad, just ship it over
>>52930272
might take a while, US shipping is a pain in the arse
i ordered some stickers off zazzle like 2 weeks ago and they've still not shown up
"I'll be right back." She said to the boys and went to Kerry. Jay checked her body out when she left and then looked at Will with an angry face.
"You wanker…" he said.
"What's with you?" Will asked.
"Go back to jacking off over your mom and briefcase, she's my catch!"
"Really? I haven't really seen any interest for you on her."
"Because I can't have a normal conversation with her because of your Jolly Well Spoken bent phrases!"
"You're the one no one can have a normal conversation with anyone. Whatever she'll say you'll answer with a perverted statement like you always do."
"Wohoa!" Simon smiled. "I smell jealousy!"
"I'm not jealous! I'm just sick of him."
"Jay, if you're not able to get that girl I won't just stand here and do nothing about it." Will said.
"I had plenty of pussy before. I know exactly what I'm doing and I sense that my cock is reaching his target in her trousers."
"That sounded like and virgin with great expectations."
>>52930265
What exactly has he done? I only know him from Luther
>>52930297
He was Mumbles in Rock N Rolla
Finally going to bed. Good night and happy new year /Brit/.
>7am on NYD
>awake, hungover and watching black cheerleaders on BBC News 24
help
>>52930290
How long does it normally take to get things from the rest of the civilized world?
>>52930248
Have also seen it. Good film lad
going to watch Taxi Driver now
>>52930297
He's going to be rejected as the next James Bond, this is a pre-emptive blow softener
>>52930316
dunno
it's pretty quick from the UK but I guess Americans are just lazy
"I wasn't expecting you here. Especially not with them." Seth said and looked at Neil, Will, Simon and Jay with a despising look on his face.
"I prefer a normal sociable company over you." She said and forced a quick smile hoping he'll leave.
"Them? Sociable? Please… Not really the 'kiddas' I'd chose." He said trying to imitate her accent. That pissed her off.
"You have a mingin taste dun. Who's that? Have you been copy-pasted and put into capitals?"
"Don't get too hilarious."
"Oi, listen you bumder, if you don't have anything smart to say get the fuck away and leave her alone you stupid walking waist of oxygen and spunk!" Jay stepped forward and yelled on Seth later realizing his older brother was inches away. He took a step forward and cracked his knuckles.
"Time to go." Simon quickly said and rushed out. Will pulled Taide because she forgot to run. Seth's brother didn't take to much time to chase them. He gave up after few steps but they continued running until they were around 30 meters away. They stopped and took few breaths and looked back to make sure no one was chasing them.
>>52930248
I've been meaning to watch it for like a year now
any bros in here? pewdiepie bro army?
>>52930325
>tfw you will never be as funny and charming as driss
>>52930351
BRO FIST
>2095 is 79 years from now
>>52930351
He would never have that level of popularity if he wasn't good looking
Once again showing how good looking people live on easy mode
i was outside and i heard my neighbours kid asking him for rice and he was all like "no rice, this is australia. sausage sandwich" haha what a lad
>>52930331
Thats good
>>52930384
please pass this message along to them
"fuck off murderer"
Done a shitpost on /gsg/
"Blowy."
"I said please don't lie."
"Alright, alright, she gave me a hand job."
They all pointed at him. "Knew it was bollocks… but still. Is it the truth?"
Jay bit his lips thinking hard how to convince them in another lie.
"Double bollocks!" Neil said. Jay rolled his eyes. "You're such a saddo."
"At least he tries." Simon said.
"Lies, actually." Will said. "Maybe he got a boner again and just spunked in his pants."
"Want to see it?" Jay asked and jumped on the trampoline and they started hitting, jumping and laughing. Taide came in with her shoes in her hands looking at them confused.
"You have no idea how straight that looks…" she grinned. They stopped for a moment and laughed at each other.
"Hey, should we get her?" Simon hinted on her. All four of them looked at her and grinned to themselves. Suddenly they rushed towards her and grabbed her again laughing, tickling and simply having good time.
>>52930384
vegemite sandwich
i've never watched a single pediepie video.
the second he opens his mouth, just....
New gimmick: manfanny
>you were born a little too early to see 2100
>you were born a little too late to avoid the next great global conflict
wew
>>52930526
>blonde
>freckles
Lost the genetic lottery there, sorry love
very good film
all of you should watch it
"I can't believe you just said that you'd want to marry Carli though! My Carli!"
Will rolled his eyes. "For goodness sake, it's hypothetical. It's not really going to happen. And she's not 'your Carli' anyway, so I'll marry her if I bloody well please."
The massively offended look on his friend's face amused Will greatly, and he made absolutely no effort to hide that fact. Simon's horrified expression quickly melted into a wicked grin as he watched Will take another mouthful of wine.
"Alright then, here's one for you. Me, Jay and Neil: snog, marry, avoid?"
>>52930577
mate
those are the two best things
@52930600
Fuck off with this shite.
>>52930577
rasheed
*throws a shrimp on the barby*
>>52930577
t. alberto barbosa
>>52930703
its barbie you fucking yank
"Urgh, wind-up! What is it with girls and fucking talking?"
"Yeah, talkin'!" Neil paused to take a swig from his can. "Wasn't sure if I liked 'er or not at first. But I give 'er a goodnight snog. S'ppose I must like 'er a bit if I bothered snoggin' 'er."
"Nah, a snog's just one of those things, innit? If it didn't go beyond that, you may as well have just shook hands."
Throughout this exchange, Will had been continuously watching Simon's troubled face out of the corner of his eye. He'd remained motionless for the most part, staring vacantly at the floor, but raised his head sharply as soon as the topic of kissing came up. As blue eyes reluctantly met his, Will offered up yet another gentle smile. Simon flinched in response, tearing his gaze away from Will and readjusting his sitting position to turn his body towards his other friends. Will barely resisted the urge to tut at such ridiculousness. Simon's almost fearful reaction made it seem as though Will had savagely beaten him the other night, not simply beaten him off!
>>52930851
s-sorry
who here /smallwilly/
>>52930866
me
its something like 4.9 or so
>>52930908
>mfw long dicks cant run as fast or as comfortably
literally lmaoing
taking my shirt and pants off to go run in the snow
>>52930866
I've never measured it, but I think I'm just a bit below average
It looks really small though because I'm tall as fuck
enjoy being french and having big willy genes
always thought I was average until i realized how tiny most people were.
>>52930866
>>52930908
How many girls have you had sex with lads?
6 days to christmas
>>52931024
5 successfully - a few unsuccessfully
age 21
>>52931024
lol
>>52931067
>a few unsuccessfully
wot
>>52931067
fuck off normie
>>52931094
been too drunk or nervous
think I have low testosterone
>>52931094
>>52931094
I understand what he's saying, I've had a few situations where I could've fucked a girl but didn't for one reason or another
>>52931083
Someday you will fuck an IDF qt and we will all live vicariously through you lad ;_;7
post your absolutely MAAAAAD desktop lads
THE BEAST
IS TAKING OBER
>>52931139
>I've had a few situations where I could've fucked a girl but didn't
I don't get it, how could you get to the point of sex and then just not have sex. Unless you're seriously over-estimating your chances and counting times some bird flirted with you in a bar for 5 minutes as a chance for sex.
>>52931083
ur rich though u nong just use that ffs
casual sex w/ girls and casual sex w/ prostitutes isnt too different
>>52931185
whiskey dick in my case
not sure about the yank
>>52931172
Aren't you embarrassed when people see that?
>>52931206
S-STOP POSTING ME
>>52931224
>whiskey dick
Not a thing, you might just be gay
>>52931226
> when people see that
well laa-dee-fucking-daa, everyone check out Normie Nigel over here with his fancy friends
As he nuzzled into Will, Simon felt himself beginning to calm. He sniffled, catching Will's scent, then deliberately breathed it in deeper. It was light and oaky and soothing; a dramatic contrast with the harsh balsamic notes of the perfume that had set his stomach churning the previous evening. He shuddered at that thought. What the hell was wrong with him? Just what the fuck had happened to change things between them so dramatically? It wasn't supposed to be like this! Will wasn't supposed to smell amazing, or make him feel so good with an embrace. His kisses weren't supposed to taste magical. The very sight of his kindly smile wasn't supposed to make Simon's entire world seem less shit. This wasn't meant to feel so fucking perfect...
Simon inclined his head up a little way, tasting his own tears as he pressed his mouth lightly against pale skin. He felt Will's pulse quicken against his lips and pressed harder. Then again, and again. Will sighed absently, the gentle suckling at his neck making him shiver. When he finally registered what was actually happening, he pulled back to look at Simon. The instant their eyes met, Simon lunged forward and kissed Will hard. A euphoric sense of relief washed over him, like a drug addict indulging in another precious fix. Withdrawal had been painful; he needed this so fucking badly, it hurt. Will felt determined fingers slide into his hair and tighten as Simon took total possession of him. He barely hesitated in relenting as Simon's eager tongue prised his lips apart. The taste of cheap vodka was slightly off-putting, but not enough to snap him out of how stunned he was over this latest twist in their tale. All he could think of was how good it felt to kiss Simon again, the potential fallout of doing so suddenly seeming inconsequential.
>I have an anime themed desktop
doing a hangover
>>52931185
Well, I've had more sex than most people my age so if I'm alone with a girl and we're making out and it's getting hot but I don't actually feel like doing it I won't make myself and just excuse myself. usually cause I've been drinking and don't really like the girl. Also I've been directly propositioned by (sober) liberated womyn feminsts on a few occasions and turned it down, pls be proud of me
>>52931239
yeah that's probably what it is, I'm probably gay, you're right thanks lad thanks for that cheers otherwise I wouldnt have realised I dislike girls yeah cheers lad good stuff glad you have it all sorted probs accounts for all of my lads who have had whiskey dick cos theyre defintely gay yeah cheers lid np bruv thanks
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10017305/1/
this ones actually quite good
*sneezes and blows his nose*
Sorry, friend
>>52931302
bless you
Long we've tossed on the rolling main
Oftentimes have we laid out, toil nor danger fearing,
Tugging out the flapping sail to the weather earing.
When the middle watch was on, and the time went slow, boy,
Who could choose a rousing stave, who like Jack or Joe, boy?
Number seven starboard mess Mrs Jack and Joe now.
>>52931302
sorry this *backflips behind you and snaps your neck* say goodnight!
>>52931283
Don't listen to that mean pom
Come here and lay down next to me
>>52931330
*farts on your leg*
real early bird hours
who tf (slept through NYE and) just woke up
>>52931347
kek idc, lad is def a spaz or a teenager if he literally considers whiskey dick a sign of being gay
*falls asleep in the middle of typing this po
>>52931378
I'm D-tf
>>52931172
>>52931396
haha wake up lad you have (You)s to get
>>52931396
*punches your head while your asleep for the laughs* ahaha
>>52931380
I've had it before, I've had a girl saying "so what are we gonna do after we fuck" but didn't strip her cause I knew her being a 6 + too much wine = whisky dick. I've had it with gfs before. If you haven't had WD, you haven't had enough sex
>asked santa for a gf & hall-effect keyboard
>didn't get either
>>52930100
fucking spooks
>>52931378
hello again lad
like the night before
and the night before that
and the one before that too
>>52931495
how'd you play it off la?
i either give the ol' "ah it's me medication tbf" or the "I've got alot of my mind"
>>52930100
Listened to this probably literally 25 times now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST353mDWL3Q
>>52931589
>>52931588
>>52931578
>>52931531
>>52931522
>>52931495
>>52931444
>>52931419
>>52931398
>>52931397
>>52931396
>>52931380
>>52931378
>>52931359
>>52931347
>>52931330
>>52931329
>>52931316
>>52931287
>>52931283
>>52931279
>>52931258
>>52931251
>>52931239
>>52931226
>>52931224
>>52931206
>>52931196
>>52931173
>>52931139
>>52931138
>>52931121
>>52931094
>>52931067
>>52931067
>>52931031
>>52931024
>>52931022
>>52930959
>>52930908
>>52930950
>>52930866
>>52930865
>>52930859
>>52930855
>>52930851
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears...in...rain. Time to die.
"No, I won't! And it does matter, so just fucking say it, Jay! If you feel strongly enough about this to treat me the way that you do, at least have the fortitude to open your fucking mouth and explain yourself! For once in your life, cut the fucking bullshit and just tell me what you want from me!"
Without warning, Jay lunged forward and grabbed Will by the upper arms. Will was fully expecting to be forced out of the door, but was dragged in the opposite direction instead. The next thing he knew, he had been all but flung onto his back on Jay's bed. Before his sharp mind could contemplate escape, he was pounced upon. Jay straddled Will's legs, pressing his hands down onto the other boy's shoulders and pinning him against the mattress. Will suddenly realised his glasses had been knocked off, but even his blurred vision didn't conceal the frenzied look on the face looming directly above his.
watching Taxi Driver
depressing film
70s NY looks depressing too
>>52931637
NY was a depressing shithole and general embarrassment to the USA right up until 9/11, when it sudenly (and conveniently) got untold billions of dollars thrown at it.
It was all a scam
>>52931588
Well, no real excuses tbqh. First time I just put it in soft and played along without saying anything and then ate it. Second time I was in a room with my best m8 who was shagging his gf so I took the girl downstairs, she told me I was pissing her off and then ten minutes later I was hard and did it. Third time I just said "tonight's not the night, I just don't feel like it" and took my leave but she didn't want to meet again after that, think she felt insulted. Another time I was in England and trying to shag a bird but was in the middle of a field in broad daylight and not really turned on so she just blew me and I stuck it in as it was and then said sorry, maybe another time. Nothing for it but just to find another girl I guess haha :/
>>52931677
Actually it started getting better when Giuliani became mayor
>>52931677
you are an absolute spastic I swear
>>52931731
then where did all the money the CIA used to cover their 9/11 tracks go?
i'm going to get cancer from this film it's so fucking shit
into the overrated trash pile it goes
>>52931756
BANE?
>>52931756
What
Simon, who was also 5, was in the car with his heavily pregnant mother. "I don't wanna go to skewl mammy!," he bawled while throwing a world-class tantrum, "It not fair! You and Daddy down't have to go!". Pamela Cooper sat in the car and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Alright Si, I'll put it another way," grumbling angrily to herself more than the child, "You go to school, now when I drop you off, or I can let you out of the car right now and you can walk on your first day." Now of course the child heard everything he wasn't supposed to. "Mummy stop the car. I will walk. I wuwd wather walk than spend any more time in this car with you!". , sick of her childs selfish attitude and not watching the road, or pavement, slammed the brakes on and pulled up onto the curb narrowly missing a scruffy looking child with dark hair.
>>52931766
Taxi Driver?
you're mad lid - its a great film
>>52931784
Would you shut the fuck up?
Also who /select only 3 out of 4 gift box tiles but still get to post/ here?
>>52931803
Fuck off if you don't like it. I quite enjoy it
Everyone was out by now and Jay was on his own. His father had gone to the pub; he always did whatever it was he was meant to be doing. Well it was to the pub or the woman Jay suspected he was having an affair with.
Jay heard the front door slam loudly, then heavy drunken footsteps travelling up the stairs. His bedroom door then swung open, to reveal his, far from sober, father at the door. The next thing Jay knew, he was being dragged out of bed, down stairs and into the living room. Terry then started to hit him harder and harder. (I'm not going to go into any more detail than this next little bit, but you can imagine what happens next I think.) Also Jay would get be forced to touch Terry every now and then until he was satisfied.
The worst part of this is that Jay was actually used to this all.
>>52931815
I do like it but I like gaming the system even more tea bee h 8)
Back from work, lads.
Worked 11 hours, made £140, ate 2 free sirloins, and got hit on by a gay physicist.
Not bad, all things considered.
>>52931833
>working on new years
>>52931785
I could tell after 5 minutes its was going to be shite
im playing runescape lads
>>52931826
I haven't even seen a Captcha in six months
Some talk of Alexander, and some of Hercules
Of Hector and Lysander, and such great names as these.
But of all the world's great heroes, there's NONE that can compaaa-are.
With a tow, row, row, row, row, row, to the British Grenadiers.
God Americans are so fucking ignorant it's insane, the UK had a 30 year long civil war that only ended in the 1990's, there was a genocide of Muslims in the Balkans in the 90's, there is a war in the Ukraine right now. Nationalism is on the rise all over Europe. Europeans are not as soft as Americans and not as easily controlled by propaganda, the multicultural propaganda that works so well in the US doesn't fly which is why cuckold porn is so massive in the US but not in Europe. France has already expelled the Gypsies despite criticism. So to hear a country where white births are a literal minority which elected a black man twice act like they know how to handle ethnics is hilarious.
>>52931824
That's heartbreaking
>>52931846
I'm a bartender at events. Holidays pay the most by far. Plus it was better than spending it here, with you fucks.
>>52931859
Not everyone is made of money
>>52931871
shheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit
>>52931890
That's good because then I'd be in trouble
Drinking out of my limited edition Star Wars™: The Force Awakens™ Movie Cup
heaven knows I'm miserable now
>>52931968
No such thing as heaven
t. practicing Jew
no such thing as heaven.
t. athiest
hot out
mexican weather
IMAX is fucking shit
>>52931974
GET OUT OF PALESTINE
*explodes*
t. moderate Muslim
Before Will could protest further a shrill ring of the doorbell ended the debate.
"Who could that be?" Alison wondered as she glanced her wrist watch.
"I don't believe this forty five minutes early."
The young couple made their way over to the door wondering who it could be.
"Neil probably got confused." Will concluded as he opened the door.
To Will's surprise or what he would describe as horror, stood at the door with two suitcases at his side and looking rather worse for wear, was his father.
"Hey son, how about you let your old dad use your spare room?"
Can see my breath indoors, lads.
Time to get out the sleeping bag.
Suck my dick, british gas.
@52932010
give me my fucking (You) right now before i get... angry...
>>52932036
I have to take a hot shower before sprinting to bed ;_;7
>Commuters will be paying 25% more for rail season tickets on average since David Cameron took office
REEEEEEEEE. I wouldn't mind UK based privatisation but considering all our train lines are partly owned by Germany, France, Holland and Hong Kong governments; why are we giving them out money???
We invented the bloody train Cameron.
@52932052
what are u gonna do? roll over to me on ur fat cart and yell at me some more?
rate
The groups attention was caught by the sound of Neil and Lisa shouting from the living room where they had left them a mere minute ago.
"Blow harder, blow harder, blow harder." Neil shouted repeatedly.
"I can't it's too big."
A smirk formed across Jay's face as he heard what was going on before winking at Will.
"There will be no funny business in this house." Will declared before charging through to put a stop to their antics.
As he arrived he was stopped dead in his tracks and he couldn't help wonder whether Neil and Lisa getting off on the floor would've been the more preferable option.
To his horror he found Neil and Lisa stood around the Christmas tree that was engulfed in flames, filling the room with black smoke and they were trying to put it out using the same method someone would use to blow out candles on a cake.
"Oh look my tree has spontaneously combusted." Will raged before whipping out his phone to call the fire brigade.
@52932079
yes
>>52932100
Totally puritan
My mother was an Arab from Jordan, I was raised with no religion only celebrating Christian holidays as part of British culture. My Mum was Muslim and got into an argument with her family over an arranged married and left them, Fearing being honour killed she came to the UK and became secular. She hates Islam and Pakis. She doesn't even want us to accept refugees because they'll bring their culture with them. Love her desu.
>>52932061
I bought a swedish mountaineering sleeping bag from clas ohlson on clearance.
Now I have the insulative powers of a harp seal.
>>52932127
She sounds good lad
But now Simon was through moping after Carley and was even now enjoying his time with her. Which included snogging her in the school corridor much to the disgust of Mr Gilbert and envy of Mark Donovan who caught them one day and commented "Jesus Cooper good thing you ain't pining after D'amato anymore but still you could do better than Brown". Normally by this stage Simon would have reacted to that remark but Tara got there before him by yelling at Donovan "Piss off Baldimort". Try as he might Simon could not help laughing and it was true that Donovan resembled a chavy version of the villain from Harry Potter.
Donovan looked as though someone had hit him with a sledgehammer and all his macho behavior vanished and he took off down the corridor.
"I swear he makes Will seem normal" Tara said crossly. It was clear she still resented him for making her mate Kerry cry at Neil's 18th birthday party. Simon had to admit Will could be a twat but he was not better himself with the opposite gender Carley among them.
"You wanna come over to mine love" Simon offered "Hell yeah" squeaked Tara bubbly as ever.
>>52932127
You're still a Rasheed.
>>52932135
"Arp arp" for my pallid hide, bold mountaineer
>>52932127
she can stay.
>>52932127
are you wealthy by any chance
sent some embarrassing texts while completely sober last night haha
just fucking got pked while cutting trees ffs
>>52932238
dont play on a pvp server then
>>52932256
dont tell me how to live my life
>>52932238
what trees are even in the wildy lad
>>52932301
i wasnt in wildy it was on deadman mode
>>52932236
Lower middle class
>>52932313
see >>52932256 and don't complain lad
>>52932394
wasnt complaining desu just updating my fans
>>52932394
Reckon he was trying to avoid people
>being a regular of /brit/ in 2016
>>52932421
bing bong
Love her more than anything
>>52932456
_that_ old baggage?
gunna play AoE to be honest my lads
ciao amigos x
>>52932456
her hat is gay...
sag'd
>>52932476
don't go ;_;
>>52932505
Wasn't he in the Crocodile Dundee?
>>52932505
Nige needs to gay-marry Trump for fast-track US citizenship and then run for VP on a platform of Pom-Yank solidarity
awful depressing film
has ruined my mood completely, I need to watch a comedy after this or something
>>52932539
you could say that lid
because, truly, he is inside all of us
waiting
knowing
*salutes*
>>52932553
>Yank saying "Pom"
>>52932568
*salutes back*
mhm
>>52932558
you found it depressing because you're an uncultured piece of furniture you blundering village idiot
>>52932558
I watched all of Dark place last night, was good.
>>52932592
That was just lazy, nigger
>>52932592
stop defending your literal trash
lads, why do yanks sound so annoying? no wonder they're mental, having to listen to that racket.
>>52932642
sorry can't hear you, furniture
>>52932650
You live on a little shitty island with shitty women and shitty weather.
>>52930164
hey princess, sorry i was late but i made it by 10 mins
>>52932686
LOL ffs
Happy Birthday to 90% of all Steam users xD
>>52932685
Why offend all of us just because of one rude person?
>men's shirts have buttons on the opposite side to women's
How the hell didn't I know this until now
>>52932553
where did you learn the word pom. I thought yanks said limey?
hello lads
howre you gettin on ???
>>52932710
:3 <3
doing an order 66
yanks and poms smell like tom
yanks and poms smell like tom!
>>52932740
was good until you arrived
>>52932738
We don't say either. No one has said limey for 70 years
applied for a job today lads
can't wait to be called a billionaire
>>52932751
>Australians are fucking stupid
>go to the meetup
>be at starbucks for 7
>see a paki coming
>meme to my self "pakis OUT"
>he approaches me
>"alri lad, >moyes"
>>moyes was the secret password
>wait for others
>nobody comes
>spend my new year with a mentally ill paki
b-best new year ever haha
>>52932741
I forgive you
KAREN
A
R
E
N
>>52932768
fuck off billionaire
>>52932768
>t. trillionaire
>>52932768
you're not going to get it haha
What's the oldest meme from /brit/ you can remember
>>52932815
Only been posting here during Christmas home from Uni
>>52932806
I know but a boy can dream
>>52932815
the one where we all pretend to be gay haha
>>52932855
>pretend
made this meme alds
>>52932847
go back to the dreamtime where u belong kid
still reading this 'p*rnhub comments on stock photos' tumblr haha and here i was thinking tumblr was just for sjw rants and porn fetishes!
this cunt finally responded to my texts the delay fuck wit
gonna tell him off when i see him
Anyone else here love Anime?
lads do people from the same/similar star sign get along better
>>52932815
Crisps
>>52932934
australia
YES
>>52932937
no opposites
opposite of your sign is attracted to you
what's your star?
>>52932933
ur mate could just be a bit slow, it takes me a while to think of a decent reply most of the time haha
>>52932937
Depends...
>>52932937
No
Opposites attract
>last night
>at the meetup
>decide to get a filthy takeaway
>walk in
>see this
>"what you havin lad?"
wat do
>>52932957
aquarius lad, never met another aquarius before though
don't know lad, I've been doing some thinking
i know some tauruses and they are right cunts, utter turbo normies
>>52932929
Thank you for reminding me of that after all these years
Think I actually proper damaged my knee yesterday
Can't put any weight on it now hahaha
>>52932929
>>52933010
moar pls
>>52932977
>ey mate, could i please have some butterchicken
ye sure, will that be all?
>yes thanks
alri, that'll be 7 quid 25 pence
>cheers, have a good one
>>52933061
look at that jaw
ahahahaha a cuck themed one lads
>Receive fancy new year best wishes messages
>Just answer "thanks! you too!"
What do ffs
>>52933096
invite them to the box of night
>>52933096
are you algerian
>>52933115
Sorry our french teaching methods are so shit tier
>>52933128
No, Brittany t b h
>>52933114
this meme's got a lot of layers to it
>>52933096
search new year wishes on google
>>52933149
Thought it was a tablet at first, there's one
>>52930866
Just a bit over 3 Inches's. Endup my life.
>tfw i could batter you
>>52933173
I'm going to regret this, aren't i
>so what did you do for new years?
>tfw the yank doesn't reply to you
:(
can't sleep
>>52933198
Went to a few bars
Ran into my brother and an old friend
Had the GF with me the whole time
We had a lot of fun
I'm on the couch playing Witcher 3 while the GF is asleep
Gonna make breakfast in the morning
>do you think you're beeeeeetter offfff aloooooneee
>>52933198
I was really ill so I couldn't go out.
Jammie dodgers for breakfast lads
>>52933272
fucking disgusting
>>52933198
Flat party, watched the fireworks, fucked a girl and then went to sleep
>>52933300
>fucked a girl and then went to sleep
here's the only pic from the meetup last night
laptops on 2%
sez I've got 6mins left
>>52933300
FONT
I spent my NYE reading my copy of the Financial Times and The Communist Manifesto.
I have no time for simple minded plebs on "new years eve" lol
>>52933317
>tumblr
Who else hungover here?
>>52933393
No I'm American
oh LADS i fucked up again
stayed up all night dint i and dad wants me up and about all day today im a fucking plum
>>52933375
Australia is stupid.
>>52933335
I could have both of them 3bh
>i get hungover
>There will be people posting ITT right now who are hungover
Good feel when you don't drink so don't get hungover lads
Is there anything worse staring at brit feeling so tired you could die but not being able to sleep because your head is banging and you just want food?
>>52933403
Fuck off seppo cunt
Take your lonely autism back to /cum/
I'm skint and I owe half my quality New Years to VB
>>52933434
>Is there anything worse staring at brit feeling so tired you could die but not being able to sleep because your head is banging and you just want food?
Yes, smug teetotallers pointing it out
>>52933434
I drink plenty of water before bed and I literally never get a hangover
Wish drunkard normies would just drink some fucking water so no one has to listen to "muh hangover xD"
>>52933434
I still got to get back to town and get my car ffs. Just want to drink tea and lie on my sofa.
>>52933446
since when did getting discounted sheep pootie tang warrant establishing a whole new country?
>>52933478
>pootie tang
Are you havin a laugh?
>>52933350
thank fuck this cunts gone
>>52933462
>>52933465
Placebo effect in action
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34072712
>Raiding the fridge or downing glasses of water after a night of heavy drinking won't improve your sore head the next day, Dutch research suggests.
>Instead, a study concluded, the only way to prevent a hangover is to drink less alcohol.
going to pick up my copy the Financial Times, stay uneducated, plebs top kek
>>52933492
Yea, I'm laughing at you for being a gaywad.
>>52933451
lel.
Enjoy feeling ill
>>52933462
Tbf this is the GOAT strategy, when I do drink I never sleep before having two pints of water before bed and usually I wake up absolutely fine.
>>52933470
>Not getting a taxi
>>52933505
>drinking water won't improve the symptoms of dehydration
Normie logic
55 wood cutting lads
>>52933505
Its dehydration you absolute spastic
My body does the work getting rid of the alcohol because I'm not a soft cunt
Literally trying to make a point on something you clearly have no experience with based off a BBC article about a dutch study
>>52933505
This is ridiculous.
A hangover is partly through your brain literally swelling to dehydration.
How is hydrating yourself before you sleep not helpful?
I'm sorry but any night I don't follow my two pint rule I feel grim in the morning but if I have the two waters I never feel ill
>>52933567
>I'm sorry but any night I don't follow my two pint rule I feel grim in the morning but if I have the two waters I never feel ill
Of course you feel better, that's what placebos do.
>>52933586
riiight...
>drinking alcohol
kek
is this 1957
>>52933599
Can't see straight boys, have to close one eye to see anything at alll
>news going on about all the celebrities who died this year
Morbid desu
>>52933586
I'm sorry mate but this defies logic.
>I am dehydrated so drinking water which hydrates me in a reasonably large quantity has no effect on my hydration levels and how much my brain is swollen in the morning
Bit of a spastic, eh?
>>52933586
De -hydra- tion
>>52933616
its 2016
>>52933505
>continental "scientists"
>>52933517
>Paying £40 for a taxi home
No way, that's why I walked back from town.
finished Taxi Driver
what a load of crap
deleted that shit straight
post trance
Is it gay to want to fuck a hot Norwegian trap?
>>52933666
Not even a little
There are however no hot traps in reality
Back with my copy of the financial times now lads, just analyzing the markets.
I'm so much smarter than you plebs who went out on NYE kek
>I'm a Vision Technician
>you're havin' me on, what's a vision technician?
>...window cleaner
cold out
>>52933701
Wouldn't that be Visibility Technician?
As opposed to an optometrist
50 likes on my dp am i a normie?
>>52933698
I spent 2 quid in a petrol station and got a 3 million percent return on my investment.
Come at me bro
>>52933727
FONT
>>52933701
>not a non-crystaline amorphous solid maintenance engineering specialist
>>52933727
176 friends 62 likes
top that lads
>>52933735
>California
nice try, chad
>>52933725
>tfw had surgery on my eye a few years ago
>tfw literally have to go to an opthalmologist every time I need an eye exam now
>>52933753
thats a good ratio la
>>52933759
Your insurance company is scamming you bro
>>52933685
Let me tell you and /brit/ a little story
One time I was walking through my city just for fun, and I was going through a very large public park than incorporated a forest.
I'd picked a beautiful little rose-colored flower just for fun and was twiddling it my hand when a cute girl came mincing down the trail in a pink dress with her supple shoulders and long neck swaying as she walked
I didn't think, I simply smirked and offered the flower to her, saying "this is for you"
"Thank you", she said in a deep male voice and took the flower with a genuine grin
I still can't believe that actually happened. I even saw a picture of her* somewhere on 4chan once
>>52933775
You're lucky it was a man, if you'd tried that stunt with an actual girl she'd have maced you and called the police
>>52933775
>Things that never happened
Alright lads, it's 2016, are there still absolute mongs here who can't drive?
If you can't drive you're honestly wasting your time. You don't even need to actively have a car but having passed your test is literally as basic as getting a few GCSEs
>>52933806
I can drive, just not legally
>>52933771
I don't have to pay any extra, and the company isn't making me go. I just have some special needs in regards to my prescription. Bit of a pain since it can be a few months wait
my waifu lads
ps she's on the left
>>52933816
It's all about having that licence
Most jobs ask for it and want it as proof of ID, imagine turning around and saying 'sorry, I don't drive'
>>52933768
Cheers mate
>>52933775
I don't believe your story but if you were to encounter one that is how I would expect it to go. No amount of hormones or tit jobs will give you a female voice
Well I have a gf now. Thanks whichever one of you faggots encouraged me
>I can drive, just not legally
>>52933830
I have a provisional, and what sort of job takes a drivers licence over a passport
LADS, is it good if my crush messaged me at midnight to wish me a happy new year?
>>52933827
C-can you introduce me to her c-cute friend
>>52933775
There was a cornetto advert that was basically this, but I can't find it.
>>52933827
Me at the back
>>52933859
no its actually really really bad
thinking of getting a dirt bike lads
>>52933848
If my new job the first thing they asked as for a scanned copy of my driving licence and later asked for my passport.
Most jobs now, unless they're absolute shite like a supermarket (even they sometimes do) now ask if you have a driving licence.
>>52933845
>still using last year's hand-me-down gimmicks
Embarrassing
>>52933795
This has occurred to me, sadly. I was in a brave summer mood and it could have been a grill but instead...
>>52933797
No, it happened. Not a dream, voice as deep as can be. That's what's so strange about it, mundane as life always is
>>52933879
How so?
>>52933925
means her dad wants to beat u up
Given that extra virgin olive oil exists, why would you ever buy jut virgin or normal alcohol?
Its literally snowing in Syria and it hasn't snowed here yet
??????
>>52933967
Snow and no shitskins!! Sign me up
>>52933951
Please repeat
>>52933940
I meant does it mean she likes me
hi /brit/ im lucas
>last night
>>52933995
i dont know im a virgin
>>52934004
>got any porridge m8
>>52934004
>implying it even came close
It was literally just poleaboo wandering around a train station like a spastic for an hour
It's funny how someone's accent and language can completely change a person
people from beta countries sound and act like turbo normies with american accents
>>52934004
I love this guy
>>52934100
But Scandis usually have pseudo-British accents
>>52934154
>using thainonce gimmicks
>from 2015 no less
>>52934146
mate I mean when they're born in another country and they take up another language and accent
>using 2015 gimmicks
is the new gimmick
>>52934165
yes?
Where is Thaifag anyway?
>>52934185
Got arrested didn't he.
>>52934185
Thainonce is cancer incarnate. Hes probably out cheating on his girlfriend or trying to lure children into his sex dungeon
post guilty pleasures lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaFBodtDJk
who /got laid at some point in 2015/ here?
>>52934254
Looks delicious 2bh
>>52934234
Fuck off yank
>>52934241
guilty pleasure but also greatest work of art in 100 years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ1yFhjRnNc
>>52934278
>TLC
Please delete this slander
>>52934288
>using 2015 gimmicks
>>52934264
More or less every day since Feb
/gf2016/ lads.
How's it going?
Just installed tinder lads
Left swiping like a mad cunt
>>52934254
Phew
Hungry now
>>52934254
This fucking disgusts me
I can't wait to see what health problems America (and probably us, too) will have because of this shit.
I bet there are honestly spackers out there too who think this is 'healthy' because of the green veg in it
Absolutely fucking disgusting.
I know that a lot of our own are fat btu the difference between here and America was that when people were fat over there they were really fat
>>52934278
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Don't fucking post this.
It genuinely infuriates me to see how pathetic a grown woman can react to a vegetable as if it physically repulses her like that because she's too childish not to kill herself.
>>52934302
This
Rudeness is a thing of the past :3
>>52934303
Outstanding work la, you must have gotten through a lot of the attractive young women in your province
>>52934319
Its healthy you moron. It has the perfect balance between fiber (veg), protein (cheese), and fats (whipped topping)
What magic power did Giuliani have that fixed New York?
>>52934278
>people unironically gag over eating vegetables
i get not liking some but gagging is literally kys tier. unless it's coriander.
reading my copy of the Financial Times on the bus lads, bet everyone thinks i'm well smart
>>52934351
kek
>>52934349
Nah just the one this year. An actual stable relationship surprisingly.
>>52934364
Fuck coriander t bh
On the bus and I've just seen someone read the Financial Times. He looks like a right idiot.
>>52934364
>>52934373
Americans don't call it coriander, do they? It's cilantro or something
>>52934353
He turned it into a police state basically. His mayoral term also coincided with the ending of the crack epidemic of the 80s
>>52934365
>There are unironically students who think they are so intelligent because they pretend they get anything from reading the FT
Fuck, don't. You're giving me flashbacks to political economy in uni when some fucking absolute bender would read it before the seminar and tried to act smart but everybody knew he wasn't particularly intelligent in any way,
>>52934319
>>52934341
Sheesh dudes. We have 5 times your population. If the most disgusting reality show woman we have is 5 times as disgusting as yours, that would be merely normal ;_;
>>52934392
Fuck knows mate
>>52934392
we call the plant cilantro, the seeds coriander
>>52934400
So NYC is basically proof that pic related works
>>52934373
I know :3 that's better than being a player
>>52934405
Don't get me wrong mate, we have disgusting fucking plebs too (like that woman who drank nothing but energy drinks) but I just fucking hate fat people and they seem to hide more here.
FUCKING FAT PEOPLE
Unironically used to browse reddit just so I could go on fatpeoplehate
>>52934392
who knows, either way it tastes so gross that i would prefer to go hungry and for me, that's saying something.
went to sleep at half 10 and woke up to fireworks going off and went back to sleep, fuck new years
>>52934427
Not using CCTV, by giving the police a lot of power and men, tracking arrests and arresting for minor crimes to "set an example"
any of u lads dirt bike?
>>52934475
i rode your mums dirt track if that's what you mean
Tired lads
>>52934433
>caring this much about what other people do to their bodies
autism level: extreme
saw some guy looking at me whilst reading the Financial Times on the bus haha, bet he thinks im a gazilionaire
parents aren't sleeping in the same bed anymore haha
So I spent last night organising my day today to be more productive
Now I've been roped into going down the golf range instead of just practicing my swing for half an hour. Between that and the arsenal that's basically the day gone
Rip me
>>52934504
They do it and I have to look at the consequences. Fat people should get an ASBO
>>52934491
wow, you must be pretty fuggo if you can only get fat middle aged women :s
>>52934515
who /parentsgettingadivorce/ here? besides you, i mean.
>>52934433
>muh NHS burden
They cut their life expectancy by like 35% anyway (just made that number up but it sounds true)
>>52934518
I was shit at golf desu
>>52934529
Why are yours breaking up?
>>52934504
but it does affect me anon
In the one time (if that)a year I need to go to the doctors I'm sick of not getting an appointment and when I go in there's just fat fucks struggling to breathe, barely fitting in the seats who need help
JUST STOP FUCKING EATING.
It's disgusting. As a society we've stopped shaming the behaviour and that's where it's gone wrong.
>>52934529
nah, my parents got divorced when i was 7 xd
>>52934525
middle aged women are my fetish, seriously
>>52934552
my parents got divorced when i was like, 3
>>52934405
I was getting the tube the other day and there were all these fat people blocking the entrance to the platform
Apparently they had all decided to gather right by the door so nobody could get past
I don't think I've ever seen so many of them in one place, it was especially shocking because most of them were fairly young women.
Then I heard the leader of the fat convention speak
He was a yank. Of course they were yanks
>>52934533
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/nov/20/obesity-bigger-cost-than-war-and-terror
>Obesity is a greater burden on the UK’s economy than armed violence, war and terrorism, costing the country nearly £47bn a year, a report has found.
It's completely preventable, and this 'but they die quicker just like smokers' is retarded, because smokers will always work for the most part until they get ill, fat obese fucks don't go to work past a certain stage
>>52934555
book ahead of time or go to the hospital if it's something genuinely serious, stop blaming the world for the problems you create lmaoo
>>52934570
Oh okay
Dad's decided to start sleeping with someone from work (that's like 5 years older than me). He doesn't seem to realize that he's destroyed our family and lost my respect haha
>>52934543
How long did you play?
>>52934577
But at first you thought they might be Brits
>>52934588
Fat bastard detected.
Fuck off, fatty
>>52934518
Golf is comfy
>>52934596
Damn dude, shitty start to 2016 lad.
>>52934601
I had lessons for a few months years ago, used to go to the range regularly, only actually played about twice, and did fucking SHIT.
I mean desu it was just off the tee I was shit at, I couldn't hit it straight for whatever reason.
>>52934607
wow, no need to get upset over something so trivial, it's like you can't even regulate your emotions haha
>>52934533
obesity is more of a burden on health systems than smoking 2bh. smoking related illnesses have reasonably sudden onsets in later life (usually) and are often pretty severe.
fat people have problems from their 20's through to whenever their fat hearts stop, and often their disorders are treatable so they receive a lot more treatment than the guy who smoked like a chimney and has burned his lungs out.
>>52934605
Yes
I tend to assume people in England are English until I hear them speak
i was only dipping in and out last night, did ribena really get rused into going to manchester on his own?
>>52934596
My dad was a hardass, mean motherfucker who I resented like a tyrant when I was younger. Now I love him more than ever when I see the effects of my upbringing next to people whose dads were soft and permissive
>>52934612
Found out the day after my birthday, the week of Christmas. I really don't understand why he is doing this
make a fucking new thread you dips
>>52934634
Just like you can't regulate how much food goes in your mouth
Fuck off, fatty
>>52934646
That's not exactly the reason you thought that
just got to work lads, boss told me off for reading the Financial Times, that pleb must read the daily mail kek, not a real news source like the FT
>ft
worst gimmick of 2016
>>52934656
because he's a fucking nerd who's scared of dying without having done everything/everyone so in some desperately vain attempt to redeem himself, he's destroying everyones lives to that he can think that he is still wanted/valuable and has another notch in the belt. he does all this without realising he's just lost his wife and the respect of his kids until he's old and alone.
if i were you i'd tell him to pull his fucking head in, accept that he's getting older and quit being such a stupid cunt.
>>52934639
Yeah probably but old people are more of a burden than fat people, I'm not sure if the same is true for smokers, I haven't looked that up.
>>52934679
Why do you presume to know my own thoughts?
>>52934686
Liking this gimmick
>>52934697
fuck sake saying 2016 feels so wrong
i miss 2015
>>52934720
It rolls off the tongue better than 2015 I think. 2012 is still the best year I think
>i miss 2015
>>52934712
old people are an acceptable burden though. i mean everyone gets old. i can't complain, one day they'll look after me.
not everyone chooses to be a complete fucking glutton. i'd much rather eat a pizza than a fucking salad but hey, i don't want to be a fat piece of shit so i don't.
>>52934720
It'll be the same every year till 2020
PHEW, MADE IT BEFORE THE END OF THE THREAD
>>52934736
2018 sounds the worst
>>52934735
Why do you care how much they eat if it doesn't have any affect on you though
>>52934709
He's stronger than me. I can't tell him how stupid he's being
fucking fanny
Well, I've just resolved. Two summers from now I'm flying to Sweden and finding an ethereal forest-creature boyfriend. I'm straight and he can be too
>>52934764
2020>2015>2019>2017=2018 desu
>>52934720
>>52934736
>>52934764
fuck off you're going to put me in a bad mood for the next 4 years
>>52934766
i don't care that much 2bh. i am coming off like i care more than i actually do but it's just everything about it that bothers me.
if people want to be fat, then they can be fat. but the idea that i am an arsehole because i find a lot of very fat people unattractive is ridiculous. the coddling of fat people about their condition is ridiculous. it's not just being fat anymore, it's about everyone being encouraged to adopt some lifestyle that praises them for gluttony and laziness.
>>52934807
What about 2010-2014 though
>>52934847
did a cheeky post >>52934853
Remember when we all said Rasheed and we used to think it was funny.
Ahh, 2015 we were so young and naive.
whats the first big /brit/ gimmick of 2016 going to be lads?
>All these fucking fat defenders and comparing it to old people
The difference is old people will have contributed to the system and the nation for their whole lives and deserve to be looked after at the end of their life.
Fat people are literally a constant drain on resources because they just won't put down the cake.
Think aobut that for a second
new thread when?
>>52934886
ur mum
I know this isn't particularly appropriate here but the truth is, it's not gay if it's with a Brit or someone from the Commonwealth
>>52934847
fair enough, i'm pretty sure people that expect people not to judge their appearance are mentally ill - it's a natural part of being a human, everyone does it.
