Every time I open a kinder egg I blush with freedom, knowing that this is a delicacy too dangerous for the american public. I gingerly tear off the tin foil, revealing a chocolate egg the shade and colour of one of the american president's testicles. I split the egg in half with a karate chop (my butter knife was confiscated) then carefully remove the dangerous toy, making special care not to swallow it like a big fat idiot walrus-man. The combination of regular, and milk chocolate brings to mind the many interracial relationships that are common in the united states, and produces a flavour too complex and effervescent for a dull american tongue, no doubt worn down by miles of cheetos, beef jerky and canned cheese. As I nibble on the chocolate I begin to assemble the toy, using my superior european brain and motor skills, when all is done my hunger has been sated, my mind sharpened, and my inner child entertained by the miniature turtle on a skateboard. Truly, I think, I am a free man.
I know all those feels my friend.
I'm sure every time an American names their kid something not on an approved list of names he feels the same way.
we have them here, they are shit, no idea why you are obsessed with these things
>>52717618
Good chocolate, fun toys
What's not to like?
>>52717514
>I split the egg in half with a karate chop (my butter knife was confiscated)
It's funny because it has several layers of humour in it
>buy kinder eggs and weed
>contents of eggs is more weed
>>52717687
I thought Australian kids went directly to sniffing petrol and sleeping on the road.
>In 2000, the parents of three children in the United Kingdom, who died after choking on toys inside edible eggs, campaigned for the products to be withdrawn from the European Union.Two children worldwide have died from choking on parts of the Kinder toy surprises a few days after they had eaten the chocolate egg; a third was attributed to another manufacturer’s product
Why are British children so stupid?
>>52717514
lmao
>>52717818
Closest thing to americans in Europe
>>52717818
>Leaving out the last paragraph:
>fenders of the chocolates said that these had been unfortunate fatalities. This was discussed in the UK House of Commons[6][7][8] and also by the UK Department of Trade and Industry which said, "The child’s tragic death was caused by the ingestion of a small part of the egg’s contents. Many other products and toys with small parts are available in the market place. If we were to start banning every product that could be swallowed by a child, there would be very few toys left in the market”.[9]
EVEN WE DIDN'T BAN IT LMAO
>>52717514
Every time I open a Kinder egg I'm happy because I loved them as a kid. I'm not autistic enough to think about Americans when I eat chocolate and find out what's the surprise tbqh
>>52717965
>non-autistic people on my /int/
get out
>>52717514
I read this in Mads Mikkelsen's accent
>>52717514
Kinder eggs taste like fucking shit but I still derive a real deep joy from eating them knowing that with every bite a bald eagle undergoes spontaneous combustion.
Why do yuros want shit plastic in their candy when they could be filed with more candy?
>amerisues
