>want to insult a New Zealander
>the only stereotypes you can think of are for Australians
Is it christmas yet there?
sheep and stuff
I'm here for a rescue
>>52577697
Still same flag still both faggots
>>52577594
Hobbit
Sheepfucker
>>52577594
The insult is that they're Australians
>>52577594
kiwi
sheepfuckers
any australian stereotype will work as well, they're the same
New Zealanders invented the condom using sheep's intestines.
Australians perfected the condom by taking the intestines out of the sheep.
I literally used to rub my dick on sheep on our farm as a kid trying to get off. Never fucked one, but did cum by doing that a few times before I grew out of it. The closest to fucking a sheep I came to was rapping my dick in a small amount of wool (with some lube) and fucking the hole. Something about being sexual with another living thing made it preferable to masturbating.
>>52578520
wahey
>>52578520
hehehehe
>>52578545
What the fuck.
>>52578545
>literally a sheepfucker
Jesus christ hold me
An Australian walks up to a New Zealander who is fucking a sheep
"In my country we shear them" says the Aussie
The Kiwi gives a bemused look at the Aussie before responding:
"I'm not sheering this with anyone!"
>>52578825
sheep shagging is not an actual thing here. it happens in the middle east, not nz
Poo Peelanders literally (LITERALLY) drink shots of horse semen
>>52578862
That's right. It's even been outlawed recently.
Some distant settlements deep in the frozen south still try to get amongst it.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10666166
>>52578891
Proof here, they sell it in bags.
>>52578931
It's amazing how this is an issue in the first place. Does this turn you on?
>>52578960
That's not horse semen, horse semen doesn't form bubbles you dumb shit
>yeah we dont really sheep shag
fuck off kiwis
we know you're basically wales
we know what you get up to on cold, sheepless nights when you think nobody is lookign
>>52578996
t. horse semen connoisseur
>>52578996
>>52578994
>does a 3/10 turn you on
use your fucking head m8
>>52579030
Yes that was his joke, Texas. Good work making sure everyone else is up to date with trending humor.
>>52578996
Don't move on to violating other farm animals, disgusting kiwis.
![Ewe1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/p15YQm8.jpg "Ewe1[1].jpg")
>>52578994
Those are bedroom eyes if I ever saw em, and the mouth lightly opened, she's in heat.
But this is what really gets me going
>>52578545
I did something similar once when I was just sort of experimenting sexually. I was really sexually frustrated (never had internet on our farm til like 2010) and one weekend my parents went down to Palmerston. I ended up trying to get off with some sheep. Like you I didn't fuck him, but I sort of mounted him (as in how you mount a horse to ride) and began rubbing by balls/ass along his back. (I had no pants on). It was itchy as hell though so I jacked off and came as fast as I could then stopped. felt so guilty after and was paranoid a neighbour saw me.
>>52579088
Thank you
>>52579133
>>52577594
lotr jokes
do new zealander get offended if you call them hobbits?
>>52579137
top kek
>>52579074
What about this? Do you want to rub your kiwi dick on its shaggy wool?
>>52579169
Probably if they were short, it would not go down well. Otherwise, it's just very stale and unfunny. Might give a little fake laugh if I've only just met you and don't want to be rude.
There's this kiwi bloke at work named Sal, and I just call him Sally, which he occasionally tells me "thats a girls name, juat call me sal". I dont stop though. Oh, and I pat him on the back to punctuate sentences when we chat. He fucking hates it but won't stand up for himself. Shits fucken golden lel. Cunt probably goes home and dissects frogs or some weird stress relieving murderer shit.
>>52579263
Please tell me you have the screencap of sally sissy socks
>>52579317
The what
>>52579344
some nz guy who posted the story which was basically
>goes to work with an australian
>australian calls him sally even though his names sal
>one day australian sees him wearing pink socks
>starts calling him sally sissy socks
>wife tells him to stick up for himself
>tells australian to stop bullying him
>australian slaps him on the ass and says sure thing sally sissy
cant remember word for word but it was pretty funny
Just compare them to and call them Australians, there's nothing they hate more.
To insult a country it first as to exist
>>52579409
Hahahaha sounds exactly like my mate Sally too, he does weird shit like that too. Caught him sobbing at work one time, classic Sally
>>52579440
We are pretty much Australians though
>>52579440
This also works with Canadians and Americans 2bh. The leaf thing doesn't really piss us off that much, just say we're Americans/51st state/should get annexed
>>52579169
would anyone, really?
maybe if they're manlets, i suppose
this flag is a insult for my eyes
>>52579506
>another leaf
>>52579506
Shut the fuck up you dumb chimpanzee we will NOT tolerate our fern being mocked
>>52579486
Except for that one cuck, he LOVES it.
>>52578545
>>52579137
Meme magic is real
>>52579486
all true though
>>52579506
DEATH TO THOSE WHO MOCK OUR FERN.
THE VENGEANCE OF POHUTAKAWA SHALL BE MIGHTY!!
>>52579506
Says Brazil.
kek
>>52579603
is the flag change really going to happen?
a fern is kinda boring but its better than being red Australia
>sheep
>cannibals/maori
>lesser and even more irrelevant version of australia
>hobbits
not on any maps is a good one
cause it's true
>>52579740
>Australia is Irrelevant
>From Finland
Yeah ok mate.
>>52579691
Go prolapse your anus with a McDonald's sign
>>52579726
Based on polls probably not. All of it will be for nothing and we'll forever be cuckstamped
>>52579791
finland 1 - 0 australia
>>52579740
Implying we're Maoris is the best way to go. The "Fush and Chups" thing is really annoying, because it's the same as referring to a Brit with Broken Indian English or American with Ebonics. It's a tiny subset of the population who has the worst accent around.
Nobody takes the sheepfucker stereotype seriously. There are plenty of people in the cities who have never even seen a sheep.
>>52579810
Don't be cuckstamped, sheepfuckerbros. We used to be cuckstamped, but a leaf is way less humiliating than a flag on a flag. Can't your govt push the flag through anyways?
>>52579827
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the New Zealand Special Air Service, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire NZ Defence Force. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth,
mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across New Zealand and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid.
I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the New Zealand Defence Force and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the world,
you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
>>52578545
nice proxy bruce
LEEJUND
>>52579864
>Implying we're Maoris is the best way to go.
But 1/3 of you are and I guarantee every other poster on here is in fact one
>>52579137
doesn't sound like a bad fap desu
>>52579938
yeah m8 had to buy a 4chan pass just to use it. I hate giving that gook my hard earned shequels.
>>52580007
this was also me
I'm colorblind so I can't tell the difference, can someone help me out? What's the difference between New Zealand and Australian flags? I thought they were the same country for the longest time
>>52580031
haha really good banter lol haha
>>52580031
Australian's flag is brash and filled to the brim with (white) national pride.
NZ's flag is more tasteful, subdued and refined.
>>52580031
>>52580055
both me
>>52579973
15% of the population identify as Maori, and that includes people who are 1/16th Maori and look white too. You really are off with your figures
I'm sure it's already been mentioned but you can never go wrong with sheep shagging jokes
>>52577697
One day we gonna make it brah
>>52580067
I'm an immigrant but I identify as Maori. Got a poonamu and everything, tu meke.
ka pai bro, chur chur.
Do many people in new zealand get "muh 1/64 maori heritage" much? My friends gf did it once i just lold at her more because she thought that maoris (and by extention her) were black
>>52580067
Does 30% of your population also identify as obese too including the the percent that is only 1/16 obese?
>tfw you are about to surpass us and have already surpassed our white population obesity
Feels bad man, you're taking our spot
>>52580201
By definition I believe you can only be Maori if you're 1/16th Maori or higher. Most of those appointed to Maori affairs councils that are interviewed on the news look entirely British while talking about their tribe.
So yes, we definitely get it. Because it's politically convenient to do so.
>>52580251
>does this thing that is happening right now, happen?
>>52580251
Of course it takes an American to compare obesity to genetics.
>>52580251
Parents grooming their kids to get into the All Blacks 2bh.
>>52580299
Interesting. Thanks for the information greatest ally
>>52580299
Im a 2nd generation immigrant (parents both Samoan) and I'm on a Maori only scholarship to University. All you need to do is name an Iwi and go to an interview. They see I look maori and tick me eligible.
>>52580331
polynesians get fat
is it diet(too much spam?) or genetics
are maoris polynesian?
>>52580349
Np bb
>>52580331
Hey man, it's not your fault you were born obese, I saw that thread the other day m8 I sympathize desu senpai
>>52580377
>not holding a sheep
>>52580366
Yes, Maoris are Polynesian.
It's not genetics as much as its a radical change in diet. I think the switch to processed foods and a high sugar diet took pace incredibly quickly when compared to the course of overall human evolution.
Pacific Islanders lifestyles changed from being outdoors and active to urban people when they immigrate here as well. So it's a bunch of factors and I think genetics don't play a major role.
Watch both seasons of flight of the conchords. Especially the episode where they get bantered by the Aussie embassy. Top telly.
>>52580483
>what's in the suitcase? new zealand's mineral exports for this year?
classic /int/ banter
>>52580446
>I think genetics don't play a major role.
What... Definitely. They are much more predisposed to becoming obese, genetically. Yes the factors you're talking about contribute to the increase of really unhealthy/morbid obesity, but they're ALL big. Have you ever seen a lanky middle-aged Samoan?
>>52580483
Flight of the Conchords is pretty great. Good job, Kiwis.
