ITT: Things your parents used to say when you were a child
>"i am not going to buy you any toys, the only things kids need is food and medicine"
I never asked for things.
I regret nothing.
>>52411785
"You'll be happier as an adult"
"You're handsome"
"High school was rough, but that doesn't mean you can't get better"
>don't go playing with that dirty monkHUE down the street
what parents?
"that's not how you write a 5, you wrote it backward again, the stomach goes to the right"
never forget
>>52411918
"You'd be in less trouble if you didn't lie"
But I still did and they always knew
You had shitty parrents thats easy, but its way worse then having awesome parents that you have Disappointed as i did
>>52412092
And you can only blame yourself! LOL!
>Go talk to them, they want you to be their friend too.
"You'll have to wait until Christmas day to open your presents"
Fucking bitch I want my presents NOW
>>52412195
Very immature m8
I wish you were never born
>>52411785
>'You'll see when you'll have kids too!'
ah ah ah
>You aren't short! :)
>You'll like it when you get there
>>52412261
Similar thing, instead I heard my mom calling my sister and overheard her saying "nah, anon was an accident" on the phone
jesus fuck I wish I never heard that
>>52412171
>tfw they probably did want to be friends but I was so insecure and afraid that they'd think I'm weird that I nearly cried whenever my mom said that
>You were adopted at birth
I think I was 4 when they told me.
>>52412347
Many great things were made by accident. Cornflakes for example. Also alcohol probably.
>>52411785
"When are you going to get a gf?"
"You're so handsome."
"I'm proud of you."
"Childhood is the best time of your life."
All of these things are false.
>>52412406
mankind too
Mom: "we are going for a weekend trip, but take attention to everything, so yuo can write a 2 page composition describing your whole weekend", what a way to destroy my mood right at the beggining of the trip.
father at 10-16 year old self: "isn't it enough computer already? go outside play with your friends!"
>>52412406
Artificial sweetener was an accident.
>>52412417
>"Childhood is the best time of your life."
>All of these things are false.
But it's true
>>52412347
Life gets easier when you realize that the only person you need love from is yourself.
>you'll be fighting off the girls when you grow up
>>52412092
i try to repress this feel
I remember my father telling me he'd cut off my hands if I turned out to be gay.
>>52412437
>but take attention to everything, so yuo can write a 2 page composition describing your whole weekend
This had to have been a joke though right?
>>52412437
>"isn't it enough computer already? go outside play with your friends!"
I got this one. "Get away from the screen!" but I had nothing else to do so I'd just wait a bit and then go back on.
"Do you want to end up in the cemetery?"
This one was scary.
>>52412577
Isn't your nose sore after typing this post?
>>52412579
no, she was obsessed with compositions. It always disturbed her when she saw me doing anything non-school related, even during summer vacations,
>>52412577
How are you writing then?
>>52412321
>baww fits and bodybuilding.com bully me because I'm not as tall as a friiiiiiiidge
fuck off
Study hard and it will pay off
Now i'm 28 Msc and i still live with them and work for 300euros/month in a bank
>"what would pope say if he saw you"
>>52412474
Not for me lad.
>spent most of my early childhood alone reading and watching cartoons
>barely had any friends
>bullied through middle school
>computer was my best friend
>friendless most of high school
>people keep pressuring me to find a gf
>constant state of depression and suicidal urges
Only good thing about it was
>did a ton of crazy shit as a kid
>>52412642
Noice
>>52412655
My mom was this way about instruments. I showed a great aptitude for learning instruments and playing at a young age, so she went nuts with it. And all I really wanted to do was watch cartoons and play baseball and hockey...still, being a multi instrumentalist is fun and pulls in plenty of poon tang.
"girls will be flocking to you"
>wizard's apprentice
>>52412474
Lol shut up m8
Not everyone had your childhood.
Whenever i feel miserable i think back a how rvrn more miserable i was as a child and i feel less shit.
>>52412577
time flies when you're a faggot
>>52412642
hon hon hon
>>52411785
Whenever I asked what was for dinner my Mom would respond "food"
>>52412712
Sorry. Life went worse for me
>>52412692
But it's true anon.
Search for it
Tall men aren't more likely to get laid but short mens are in fact less likely to do so.
>>52412767
And everytime it turned out to be a joke
>>52411785
Life is a bitch and then you die
"Mommy is going to be out for a while"
Jesus Christ this phrase still haunts me to this day
>just ignore the bullies they'll get bored eventually
>"when I was your age, we used to play outside all day and we never even wanted to go back inside"
>"why aren't you talking to the other kids?"
>"why are the other kids ignoring you?"
>"you're not depressed, are you?"
>"I guess anon is just different"
Good thing I became somewhat normal after my 18th birthday or my dad probably would've given up on me completely
>tfw when he finally tells me "I'm proud of you, son"
>>52412813
>Search for it
>>52411785
>You have absolutely no musical talent
>I thought you were supposed to be smart
>I am so ashamed of you. I guess it's my fault, guess I'm just a bad parent
>No wonder you have no friends
>How can you be so fucking stupid?
>>52411918
I'm jealous.
>>52412885
where is your face?
>>52412538
This.
>>52413030
His face is implied
>>52413030
I have no face
>>52411785
My mom:
"Don't write with a permanent marker on your little sister's skin! That's how you killed your other sister!"
>>52413097
Is that why your dad thought you were weird?
"Stop crying or I'll nail your other foot"
>>52413030
tfw means "that feel when"
you don't need a face
"You should aim to become a priest because you have so nice voice!"
- my mom
Instead I became atheist interested in researching paganism and witchcraft.
>>52413265
>Instead I became atheist interested in researching paganism and witchcraft.
You could still be on the radio with a nice voice
>>52413265
>Instead I became atheist interested in researching paganism and witchcraft.
embarrassing
>Your father will be so proud of you
No.
My father is dead.
>>52413210
could've been both
I dont even have a ps1 and famicom and gameboy
Only food and medicine, also education I guess
Is this common in poor cunt?
>if you dont bath everyday you are gonna get leprosy
>>52411785
"Your father didn't want to recognize you, because of you i had to go back from tahiti to birth you.. but you are not a mistake anon!"
>I'm sure girls like you and wish you would talk to them
>tfw no gf
>>52412397
Their different skin color didnt tip you off?
>if you study hard you will get a good job and become rich
Lies, all lies
>>52412435
>>52413709
>become rich
>Russia
>>52413435
I had vidya tho, but only after a few years when they were less expensive
>Are you sad again, my dear?
>No, no, just....a little tired.
>What happened?
>Nothing.
>>52413803
iktfb
>>52412885
>>"when I was your age, we used to play outside all day and we never even wanted to go back inside"
I bet the piece of shit bought you a computer or a gaming console, taught you to watch TV and spend time reading. Just to get rid of you.
>>52413803
fugg
>>52413265
>atheist
>interested in researching paganism and witchcraft.
y tho
>>52413435
you couldn't afford a used one?
>>52413803
>>52413709
THESE
>>52413910
I'm interested in psychological part of it. The why people started worshipping certain things in certain ways, the why certain rituals invoke reactions in people, the instinctual part of magic and how it differs between cultures,ect.
>>52412855
W-why?
>>52411785
>the one who lies also steals
>i'm going to spank you hard if you do not do as i say
>eat quickly, go, go, hurry
>i'll take you with the homeless children so you learn to behave/be grateful/do as i say
> You are my beloved little son, you're so beautiful and smart
"No you cant have a bag of chips. Those are for your school lunches!" REEEEEEEEE
>>52412692
I'm an actual true manlet, not the /fit/ meme kind.
Also my own father said that to me, in a tone of voice that made it seem like he was trying to convince himself more than reassure me.
"You're a useless cunt"
JUST
>>52412195
You mean Christmas eve, right?
>why are you alone all the time?
>why do you just sit at that computer?
>when was the last time you had a girlfriend?
>i wish you would be more like your cousin
>anon, i'm turning off the internet now
>>52415427
>chips for lunch
jesus christ
>>52411785
My dad:
"If someone wants to mess with you, punch them in the face, they will stop right away"
Best advice desu.
Mom:
"Remember anon, if you don't study you will end up poor as fuck, just like your uncle"
>>52417986
>"If someone wants to mess with you, punch them in the face, they will stop right away"
This advice alone would be enough to stop /r9k/ from being a thing.
>>52412642
Absolutely ebin :DD
Go talk with them, they want to be your friends
You will like it more when you get there
Get out once in a while
The last one actually drasticaly changed when I was 14 and I started getting wasted
My father gave me a very good advice, although he didnt mean it as an advice at that time:
>"You can avoid doing something by acting like you are too stupid to do it."
Best advice ever, saved my day at work a million of times.
"I think it looks good on you."
>>52413265
Vocaroo your voice pl0x
>you're very handsome
Sure thing, mom.
Sure thing.
>I'm sure your boobs will grow in someday, honey
LIES
- we cant buy that. got no money
- me? when did I say that? oh you..
>>52418637
PLEASE be in MINAS
>you're going to be a great person one day, i just know it
>"hey mom can I have this thing?"
>"sure I'll consider it when I get my salary"
>mom gets salary
>"so can I have this thing now?"
>"no it's too expensive"
Don't play with my heart like that.
>>52419011
>living paycheck to paycheck
Ouch.
>>52411785
" no "
>For fuck's sake! Everything should have a warning label on it stating: "Not for children under 3 or *my name*"!
>To pick up things, to carry them elsewhere, and to leave them somewhere they don't belong! Absolutelly unbelieveable style! "I'll just take this to someplace else:DD Let him search who needs itxDDDD". Fuck!
t. Dad
>>52418153
In America you get expelled and sued by the billy's family for fighting back.
>>52419309
>not trolling is a art
ONE JOB
YOU HAD
ONE JOB ADJAS FDHGJDTHAY5J
>>52418700
>Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East
>>52412195
Kill her
>>52413265
>You should aim to become a priest because you have so nice voice!
Your own mom is telling you that you shouldn't breed
>>52413709
I have a hard time believing Russian children over the age of 5 believe this.
>didn't do my chrism because i came from a poor family and went to class with some rich kids so they wouldn't make fun of me for getting shitty gifts
>my parents still don't know why i refused to go through with it 20 years later
>>52420430
>Your own mom is telling you that you shouldn't breed
Lutheran priests can marry freely tho.
>>52421005
Why so insecure Croatbro? I'm poor as hell as well and surrounded by rich Chinese people but I don't give a fuck.
>walk down stair in the morning
>when I'm halfway down there I need to turn around because I forgot something upstairs
>return downstairs with the thing
>stepmom is there with breakfast she prepared
"Are you avoiding me?! You walked back up those stairs because you saw me down here!"
>play at football tournament
>be busy playing football
"Why didn't you wave back at me when I waved from the tribune! Shitty kid!"
>mfw I didn't even see her wave
or
>playing football on grass field
>I'm defense and do a sliding tackle that prevent the enemy from scoring a goal
>guys congratulate me
>get home and stepmom sees the grass and dirt on my shorts
"You're just doing this so I have to do extra laundy! Jesus Christ!"
Lots of little gems like that throughout my childhood.
crazy ass stepmom. it's all about her
>>52421555
Fucking stepmom,mate. She was a bitch
>"Why can't you be like normal children"
As she cried because I'd wet the bed again
>>52411785
>father when i was 8
>always double bag for a ho
>>52411967
fucking kek
"See you next Friday, kiddo." is mine. That or "see that golf ball at the bottom of the pool?" and then he'd push me in.
Dad is great
>"eat, think about muh poor, starving african kids !!"
>>52411785
Father used to always say "find a women who cooks good not looks good"
Needless to say i didn't find either.
>>52422387
My mother used to say that too. I think I might developed my sadistic nature then when I was thinking suffering kids while enjoying my food.
>>52413656
Or their latent homosexuality?
>>52414158
Calm it, Varg
