Describe your last time with female.
>try to put it in
>its too big
>keep trying
>she gets bored
>she leaves
;_;
>10 years ago
I don't even remember what it felt like.
Heh jokes on you I'm celibate
>>52035680
I talked to my mom for about 10 seconds today
>>52035680
Tfw grandma is right but I still want to have sex with the rude girl
yesterday, my gf let me do anal. she wore a but plug all day which i got for her birthday. damn it felt amazing. she sucked me off this morning and now she is cooking dinner.
I sucked her penis and she came all over my face
Last year I got blow job from a fat redhead I met on tinder. I could stay hard and I had think we hard some minor vaginal contact even we weren't supposed to because we had no condoms. The last time a lady my touched my man parts was earlier this year when I pulled my balls out at a party and this fake redhead that was naked because of a card game tickled them.
>>52035680
had to pay *desu
>>52035936
S-same here
>>52035680
Be 12 or something. She was my "girlfriend". She dragged me into her bedroom and kissed me.
Then she dragged me towards the bathroom but I got scared and resisted. After that she didn't let me touch her.
>wasting time with annoying needy whores
No thank you.
Hugged mom yesterday
>>52035680
Last night with me wife
Standard position
>>52035895
isnt she pornactress
>>52036002
She have feminine penis or have monster cock?
>>52036077
This guy knows what's up
>last time
>>52036230
no but she fucks like one
>>52035680
A quickie.
i fucked a korean in a karaoke, shit was cash and she had nice bouncy soft natural tits
>She wants a date.
>I don't expect anything desu.
>I am still a virgin but nobody knows that.
>We spend some time and sit at some place.
>She starts kissing me.
>I go along with her.
>Her hands starts to get into some parts.
>I ask her if my place or hers.
>We go to the my place.
>I am nervous that I might have premature ejaculation problem.
>She gets shy when she got naked.
>Fuck her for 2 hours.
>Still can't cum, let it alone having premature ejaculation.
>She gets sad because of it.
>I try hard to cum and while she rides me and it's there.
>I say "I am gonna cum".
>She shouts "Cum inside me."
>I say what!
>She starts riding me more furiously and shouts "Cum inside me!"
>No condoms desu.
>I came inside her.
>And then I never talked to her again.
>I still feel the horror that she might be pregnant and call me one day to tell it.
Adultery? Never again...
>>52036305
are you really virgin?
I thought this is int meme..
>>52035680
it was two years and two days ago
i put it in without foreplay because i was getting tired of her. she was disappointed and never begged for sex again
>Hey do you want to have sex?
>sure
>we have sex
>Clean up
>go to sleep
Such is married life
>>52035680
My mom cooked dinner for me. It was pretty good.
>>52035680
>Describe your last time with female.
I came out of my mums pussy 26 years ago and the nurses saw me naked
Shit was so cash
>tfw 20 year old virgin with little hope of changing it
>>52036444
Ain't that right
>>52036518
never give up your dreams m8, i was a kissless handholdless virgin for 24 years.
then i discovered FOB chinese and it all changed
>>52036501
holy shit
RARE
>>52036501
I bet they touched your ass and wiener too, you lucky devil.
>>52036518
Cheer up, fellow wizard-in-training. Only four more years for me!
>>52036518
Time to leave 4chan for awhile then and focus on yourself, if you're fat lose weight and I guarantee you you'll probably turn out to be hot.
If you're just a beta start being more fucking confident you faggot.
what exactly is your deal?
I had a girl from Canada visit me to fuck. That was in September. I really need to get myself out there more to fuck.
I found out I have porn induced erectile dysfunction so I couldn't get it up, good times.
>>52036562
He posts in almost every thread.
>>52035680
Fuck yes wimmin rights
>>52036501
based
>>52036385
I suffer from premature ejaculation when I'm sober and can't cum at all when I'm really drunk
It sucks
>fucking women
>2015
No thanks. Last time was with a submissive twink I'm ben seeing for a few months. He came in my mouth while I was sucking his cute dick and playing with his ass, so I made him drink his cum by kissing him. Then I fucked him hard until morning.
>>52035680
With my mom... 29 years ago... When I was born
>>52036676
might just be overlooking his flag then
>>52036751
>I will never fuck a twink
I was in a whorehouse. I choose the most cute girl there. She was short with a big butt. I just talked her: "Go?" She hug me and we fucked for almost one hour. This was the first and last time that I have fucked someone in my entire life.
>>52036751
Le Faggot
>>52036751
faggot
>24 y/o virgin
>in brazil
I am a living meme
>>52036838
how much did it cost? was she clean?
>>52036619
bodily abnormalities
>attention seeking whores pretending to be bi
Disgusting
>>52036872
you are, i fucked 5 brazilian girls already, and i've never even been to brazil in my life
>>52036751
Bit gay, mate
>>52036878
it was almost R$ 500,00. And yes, she was pretty clean.
>>52036901
such as
>>52036751
>France
>>52035820
i feel you broooooohhhhhhhhhh
>>52036751
faggot
>>52036901
Like what?
>>52036751
i'm sorry m8 but i think you might be gay
I don't understand the question. Can somebody elaborate for me?
>>52036518
>20
You know nothing
t. 28
2 months ago
>>52036619
Normies are the worst at giving advice and being entertaining.
>>52036751
T W I N K S U P R E M A C Y
>>52036558
>>52035680
>last time
>>52036558
>FOB
what's that?
>>52037106
90% of 4chan is normie. It's just a special snowflake meme to make themselves feel comfortable
>>52036558
I'm glad when I see guys changing their lifes when they are older than me. It's gave me some hope.
t. 21
>>52037172
Nah, maybe that's true now, but it didn't use to be. Normies are the worst cancer, though, and once they invade a community they take it over. It's what happened a long time ago to 4chan.
>>52036751
>france
>>52035680
When I was 9 a girl kissed me on the cheek.
>>52037315
I've been on 4chan since 2008. Am I a normie? or oldfag?
>>52037422
a norm-fag
Disappointing.
Made her cum, didn't cum myself. She kinda sucks at BJs and I lost my boner after some time. Hope she is still awake when I come home later today. A day without an orgasm is a wasted one.
>>52037455
thank you based brazil-bro.. still fucked 5 of your cunts girls
>>52037204
It was a magical evening, I could somehow persuade her into trusting me enough to not book a hotel room but stay at my place for the night she visited the city and when she got piss drunk after a bottle of beer she started hugging me and all.
Actually I think if it weren't for her starting to hug me I wouldn't have done anything.
But once a chick is naked in front of you and you actually see a cunt for the first time it feels natural instantly (thanks porn). It wasn't even awkward.
So I pretty much stuck to Asians after that. Especially the ones that are ugly to non yellow fever guys are easy because, well, they're ugly to other guys but yellow fever helps a lot.
And when they're not thin as a twig they think they're morbidly obese (by Asian standards) so self confidence is close to 0 anyway.
>>52036823
To be fair most of the middle East Flags are the same with slight variations.
>>52037589
And have you dated a girl after this? How old are you?
>>52037835
I am now 26.
I fucked several Koreans and Chinese so far.
Japanese autism is off the charts so I haven't had any luck with them.
weeb qt friend almost seduced me and i almost gave in, i made out with her and as soon as i felt her hands running down my body and knew she was taking it too far. Immediately stopped and made up some bs about taking it slow and she looked fucking shattered.
I will not have my first be a weeb, no matter how qt. She is a good person but I am a proud warrior of Islam and will keep to my vow of no sex before marriage.
>>52036830
Why not ?
>>52036857
>>52036869
>>52036921
>>52037003
>>52037012
>>52037035
>>52037329
:^)
>>52037121
Straight men will never know how good it feels to make a cute boy your bitch and fuck him until he's a cum filled and cum soaked mess, almost begging you to stop.
I almost feel bad for them.
>>52037971
>warrior of islam
wew
who cares about women
I want to do something worthwhile with my life, a woman would just distract me
r-right guys
>>52038154
:^)
>one month ago
>house party
>total qt I know there
>she's all over me
>party winds down
>didn't drive there, she's too drunk to drive
>don't feel like driving her car
>spare bed, can stay night there
>obligated to stay up with hosts
>fucking, ok, whatever
>more drinking
>they decide to retire after guy vomits off balcony
>jesus, finally
>get in bed w/ grill
>kissin and touchin
>she's fading fast
>don't care
>check her lubrication level
>fucking bone dry
>mfw never experienced this lvl of feminine dryness
>turn on my side away from her and go to sleep
Waste of a night desu, family.
>>52038154
>tfw every day I wish I could at least be asexual
>>52036619
Lol i'll always be a virgin because i have a 3 incher.
Started going to gym 2 years ago which bosted my confidence and have gone out with girls and made out at most, still can never make it to ever showing my penis and getting nude.
>>52038234
;-;
iktfb
>>52038290
show us your dick boi
>>52038290
What's your height?
>>52038376
3 inches
>>52036077
WM/AM every time lmao
>>52038487
>tfw no qt3.14 Asian crossdressing bf
>meet her at coffee place at dusk
>walk for 20 minutes talking about university
>go into old university building
>take 10 minutes to find the basement
>go downstairs
>classrooms and lockers
>find an empty classroom
>go inside
>pull a desk up against the door
>go to the teacher's desk with a little podium
>she sits in teacher's chair
>i sit on the floor
>take her boots and socks off
>lick her feet for 10~ minutes while she talks about her classes next semester
>hear a bang
>think janitor has found us
>jump up
>it was nothing
>get back on floor
>finish licking her feet
>go down on her
>bang my head on the sliding shelf of the desk
>finish up
>start getting dressed up
>put her boots back on for her
>walk her to her car
>go back to library to study for a few hours
>>52035680
>meet girl at work conference
>cutie
>massive hitomi tanaka style titays
>never fooled around with a girl that had larger than C cup
>drink hang out and fuck her the next night
>never realized how gross they would be in person
>droopy af
>can't finish so she succ me
this was in late 2013 haven't had sex since
>>52038616
hottest fucking story so far
you made it my man
i once had a a chinese girl sit in front of me in a chair while i was lying on the ground and she put her feet on my face and just played on her phone not paying any attention to me while i jacked off to the smell of her damp soles on my face
for some reason it makes me hard af to play with the feet of chicks while they're pretending not to care
is there any porn like this
fucked her while she talked with her mom
ayy
>>52038729
>tfw I love that shit too
>tfw college chicks are the best for this because they're just like "haha sure why not" and then fuck around on their phone
>>52038803
>tfw i never went to college or university
;
_
;
>>52036077
/fit/ pls go
>>52038923
Doesn't mean you can't fuck them, anon.
Just meet them off the internet and tell them you're a PhD student or whatever HABILITATIONSCHRIFT shit they have over there.
>talked for two hours or so
>ate take out
>watched telly
>made out periodically
>had to head on home because it was 2:00AM and I had plans early the next day (today)
Taking it slowly for once, it's quite nice to be honest.
>>52035680
>good friend of mine
>we've been going to movies, out for dinner and other things as two
>think nothing of it because she's my friend
>watching a movie at her place
>she starts talking about how she really likes this guy but he doesn't take any hints and now she's uncertain if she should go on
>tell her that he's probably an idiot and not worth the effort
>finish the movie
>go home
>she doesn't contact me much anymore
>moves to another city
haven't seen her again since that
that was in 2011
>>52036751
thats pretty gay
>>52035680
Years ago and i was drunk.
>Be in Canada
>Live with work-mates in some cabins in the forest
>Me and one of my buddies both after same girl
>He's a good guy, but pretty much stereotypical beta orbiter
>I don't chase her, but whenever we go out she starts flirting/dancing with me
>Feels weird and uncomfortable to actually be in the alpha position for once
>Last night in country
>All get drunk
>She sits on my lap
>He goes into full-on rage mode and calls her a bitch for not liking him
>Storms off
>Me and her go back to her cabin, start to make out
>Just about to have sex when we hear gunshots right outside the cabin door
>Freak out a little bit cos I'm an unarmed Britbong, pretty much just hold her and keep an eye on the door, unsure what to do
>Fall asleep
>Wake up, leave country that evening
Turns out he was just letting off some steam and he apologised to both of us the next day, but it's still pretty annoying 2bh. Would have been the first time I had sex in two years, and I really needed to end that drought.
>>52038717
Not to mention big meloons don't have any form or substance to them. They're like bags of water that aren't full. Nothing to grab. Super fucking disappointing. Boob jobs make a lot more sense to me now.
>>52035680
you can wear what you want as long as youre not shaped like a fuckin hobbit
>me age 11
>cousin 21
I hate ss with passion but understand this fetish.
>hug her from behind because she said something that really got to me
>hold tight
>'anon what've gotten into you'
>tries to break loose
>sighs
>her cheek brushes past mine
>moans
>we kiss
>start undressing her without even thinking about it
>brain switches off
wish i was kidding
>virgin
>fap every day
>noticing what appears to be pimples or small warts or something on the shaft
more than a year ago I had warts on my feet and they had to burn them. it was extremely painful
so idk exactly what I'm dealing with here, but it's pretty much the last thing I needed for my confidence
>>52041686
every dick has those my man
>>52038376
5'8
>>52038374
I'd die if someone ever exposed me, like I'd literally kill myself.
I'm not fat at all either, and after getting muscular it just looks worse in comparison to the rest of my body than when i was a twink.
Doesn't help that i have a beard and deep voice which people always joke about me being manly and having a big dick.
>>52035680
Kissed her goodbye and told her "I love you!" before work :3
She changed her mind quite soon. She is a great dick sucker but can't get herself to screw.
>Yesterday
>In the bus
>She was next to me.
>>52041725
yeah i know what you're specifically talking about, the follicle type things under the head that can look weird
but I mean these very small but still noticable pimple things that I can feel on my dick when fapping and would probably be disgusted by if i were a girl having it in the mouth
also i have a black spot that wasn't there before
>>52035680
>4 years ago
>hey
>hey
>puts arm on my shoulder
>long time not seen
>yeah
>haha
>leaves
>>52035680
I just broke up with my gf. Definitely is the last time I'm seeing her. :((((
>>52042624
isn't this how all germans communicate though
>21 year old kissless virgin
>>52042786
Girls usually don't talk with us if it's not about work. They are slutty whores who start conversations, but only with hipsters, niggers, mudslims or handsome people.
>>52042843
same f8 m8
>>52042883
why would someone who you think is a slutty whore start a conversation with you anyway?
>>52036751
France knows what year it it is
>tuesday
>Arranged to go round to her flat
>had a few drinks, watched some jimmy car stand up dvd on her bed
>started touching her leg
>she tells me to take off my pants
>starts sucking me off
>lose erection
>can't get it back up
>she thinks I don't like her because I can't keep hard
>I'm 23
pretty embarrassing all around
>best female friend
>absolutely no attraction to each other whatsoever. we used to literally sleep together.
>go to a mutual friend's party
>she broke up with her bf and I was just alone
>both get drunk as fuck
>people try to hit on her but she rejects them so to buzz em off we start kissing
>go to a room
>start making out
>taking our clothes off
>start fingering her and she starts wanking me
>couldn't get it up
>she orgasms and i don't
>she ends up going back to the party and i couldn't even do anything
>eventually she fucked someone else
I sound like a kek but seriously I wasn't even into her. It could have been even more awkward if I did fuck her. and i lost touch with her although I do see her from time to time, that was in 2011
>>52043218
nofap lad
that and lifting
>>52043226
at least I'm not alone
Over 2 years ago. I got to fug with my half erect benis. Not so much as holding hands since then
couldn't get it up on three separate occasions, so she lost interest in me.
that was a year ago
feel like ending it all lads
>>52043053
I was her classmate for about 10 years. She was that famous girl in the class and I belonged to the guy club that wasn't cool or freaky/nerdy.
I walked her home and we spoke for about 2 hours. I kinda like her, she is very smart.
>2 days ago with my gf
>decide to park somewhere after dinner to make out
>she just got off her period she's extra horny
>sucks me off, cum in her mouth, she swallows
>realize we just did this all in a cemetery
Spooky 2bh lads
pic is her
>>52043835
ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>52039709
Fuck, have a quite similar story...
>see this girl in uni, she has the same courses that I have, literally the hottest girl in uni
>can't stop staring at her all the time
>went on some study meeting and she is there too. End up being the last ones left in the bar and having good talks and a lot of fun
>years pass when we are friends, having some beers together, watching movies yaddayadda
>this all while she has a friend
>this one evening we walk through the city and she pushed me against a wall and starts talking...
>Anon, I have so much feelings for you etc. I feel like shit because I have a friend and would like to do so much more with you etc.
>just play it off with "yeah, I always knew you had a bf and I had no intentions, so no problem"
>funny enough I somehow managed to keep feeling out of this. Untill THIS fucking moment
>after this (~2 years ago) only seen her once, and we haven't spoken much ever since
>she was my only real friend in this fucking city...
it's been 5 years
don't even know what it feels like anymore
it was 3 years ago, we just made out in front of a group of people in a club, she was ugly and drunk as hell, I was almost unconcious. she was also a girl that I knew and she was a kinda a friend of mine, we were cool. now it got awkard and we dont even talk
this was the first and the last time btw.
>Shopping for a new carpet for my bedroom
>In the carpet store
>Checking out individual carpets to see which one I like
>Touching one carpet
>Suddenly a small and petite hand reaches and touches the same carpet
>Turn
>Fucking BEAUTIFUL 10/10 girl standing there
>Says ''oops sorry'' when she bumps into my hand
>I smile and say it is OK
>Stare at her for a few seconds
>Decide it is my year
>My moment
>Time to go for this one
>"This carpet would look great in our shared apartment"
>she smiles and LAUGHS
>feel I finally have managed to seduce a lady
>Push my chances some more
>"This carpet would probably not stain if I cooked you dinner and you spilled some"
>she laughs and says "What are you offering?"
>feel really confident at this point
>"I am offering to stain your current carpet with my semen so we can buy this new one"
>she doesn't laugh this time
>just says 'ok' and then thanks me for being nice and leaves
>still alone
>>52044308
what the fuck dude
>>52044308
>"I am offering to stain your current carpet with my semen so we can buy this new one"
What the fuck man.
I paid her £20 to listen to my problems for an hour then went home and got drunk alone.
>>52044308
>>"I am offering to stain your current carpet with my semen so we can buy this new one"
>>52044308
jesus fucking christ
>>52044308
>>52044023
God damn it anon...
>>52044308
You win anon. First prize for autism in this thread goes to Switzerland.
>>52044308
Fuck my sides are gone.
>>52044308
>>"I am offering to stain your current carpet with my semen so we can buy this new one"
Sheer hilarity.
>>52036751
Basé
.....After a evening out we landed in her bed, making out, suddenly she turn around says I'm too sleepy and falls asleep. ... fml...
In the morning I just put my cloths on say g'bye.
We just smsd after that from time to time and after a year or two moths back she sms me a photo with her newborn (from another guy). I just didn't care to reply at all.
It's really should make a family for myself. :|
>>52044308
>cheats on me
>still in love with her
>trying to work up the courage to tell her I still love her
>she has a boyfriend
>>52045277
>We just smsd after that from time to time and after a year or two moths back she sms me a photo with her newborn (from another guy)
that seems psychotic
>>52037608
>Sudan
>Middle East
>>52045331
it's not worth it senpai
move on
>>52044308
Thinking of it now, those relationship stories were really more fun years back, now relationship failures just taste bitter.
>>52044308
Holy shit thats so autistic its actually based as fuck. Keep going anon, use your unique powers and youll be telling it to your grandkids
>>52045340
Well she was a bit of nut job desu... but hot...
It's pretty weak but,
>Live in a smallish town
>Skinny autist
>Didn't have any friends
>Only times I spoke in class was when my autistic brain told me to say something completely retarded as a joke
>"Okay class, for this assignment I want you to get into groups of three and finish an essay as homework"
>Oh fuck
>Oh FUCK
>A qt girl who's been trying to help me out by including me in conversations and stuff offers to let me join her group
>Oh thank god, yes, please
>Later that day I take the bus to her house
>I have to walk a while, but I find the house
>Knock
>Old lady answers, wrong house
>Ok, I guess I'll call her and ask for the correct address
>Phone is dead
>Oh no oh no I'm going to disappoint her this is horrible
>I have my phone charger with me
>See a guy walking by his car
>Ask if I can charge my phone in his house
>He says okay, but don't try anything!
>He's a fat neckbeard autist, borderline as bad/worse than me
>Keeps going on about how there are security cameras everywhere in his house
>I stand there, trying to avoid looking around and wait for phone to charge enough to turn on
>Asks where I'm going
>To a girls house, gonna work on homework
>"You guys gonna have sex?"
>I freak out, what the fuck is this autist asking me this for
>"h-heh, yeah, who knows..."
>He asks what school I'm in, I tell him
>"Oh hey, do you know such and such?"
>It's my classmate
>"Nice, he's my cousin!"
>Okay
>Finally the phone has enough charge to turn on
>Thank him, call the girl, finish homework at her house, go home
>Next day the guy's cousin (my classmate) talks to me on IM
>"Were you drunk yesterday???"
>"Huh? No?"
>"My uncle said you were going to go have sex with [girl] but she says she doesn't know anything about it"
>Too autistic to explain what really happened, just log off
>Entire class knows
>I only show up as much as I need to not to fail
>Never talk to anyone for the rest of the year
>>52045424
I don't wanna carry that regret either.
>>52045546
well if you're a c.uck then go for it
but even if you do get back, you will look pathetic in her eyes. She was able to get a guy while you came crawling back crying- after she was in the wrong no less!
Who holds the power then? It won't work.
Reminder that your waifu is a beautiful person who shall never cheat on you and will fill your heart with joy and happiness.
She will walk back with you and you shall drink hot chocolate together in the park whilst watching the snow fall on her soft cheeks.
You may, hypothetically even touch her soft gloves.
>>52045658
well, she did cheat on her current boyfriend with me so it's not like there's absolutely no precedence here.
I feel kinda bad about it though.
>>52035680
>in a study group at uni
>5 of us study til 3AM
>girl in the group asks me to walk her back to her apartment since it's dark out and I'm /fit/
>do it since my apartment is not far from hers
>she invites me in when we get there
>we make out and she blows me
>I leave after she falls asleep
This was 2 nights ago, don't know if that counts as losing virginity. We've only spoken once since but she made no mention of it. Confusing.
>>52045501
It never happened...
>>52044308
I had lunch with my mom..
>>52045544
Everything would have gone fine if you had just explained yourself properly at the end there. You should have told that guy that his uncle is a dirty neckbeard pervert who kept suggesting that you have sex with the girl like a creep. That would have made a funny story to tell to people at school too.
>>52044308
>>52045916
Woulda been great to know 10 years ago
Autism works in mysterious ways
>>52045882
I had your mum for lunch.
>>52036751
based France
>>52045985
>she came to talk with my small circle of friends
>started talking about dwarf fortress with us
>nice body wearing glasses red hair
>about 150 cm tall small tits
>bar closes gives me her number
>we all go to her place
>she has ergo proxy and fruits basket dvd-boxes
>me as a fucking huge nerd impressed
>everyone else either leaves or passes out
>memories start to go hazy after 7 beers and vodka
>kissing her like crazy
>pick her up
>still kissing me throws her legs around me
>carry her to bedroom
>take off my clothes and start to strip her
>"not like this"
>leaves and goes to her computer
>my mind is full of assburgers and what at this point
>ask her what is wrong
>some stupid ass thing I cant remember
>drink a little bit, smoke a cig with her
>get ready to leave
>blank for a while
>I leave to my apartment she to hers
S-s-should I call her or something? I'm just confused. Pic unrelated
>>52046318
Forgot to say that this started at a bar
>>52046364
Give me her number
>>52046418
Only if you give me your boibussi. I'm 10 kilometers from the border.
got a bj in the back of the car while my friend and his gf were in the front. i was really fucked up and couldnt finish.
>>52046364
>>52046318
you either call her and take things from there
or don't call her and close the door on it forever
though I guess maybe it's different in finland since it's less populated and everyone probably knows each other
>>52046472
I don't sleep with autists
>>52046318
are you kidding me man? call her. she probably said not like this cause she didnt want you to think of her as a drunk fuck/one night stand.
you probably got yourself a cool gf if u do it right.
>>52039946
That's not fucking normal behaviour, that kid was a mental case. You should have beat the tar out of him when he admitted he fired those shots, you don't just fire a gun at night for no reason.
Hatefucked an ex girlfriend that texted me saying she was in town a couple weeks ago.
Was pretty good, I enjoyed it and she's always liked it a little rough.
non existent
>>52035779
hint: it wasn't too big, she just wasnt excited enough, that thing can stretch quite a bit.
>>52036751
Noice, how old is he? My current bf is an adorable twink, when we sleep together I tend to hold him close to me like a warm teddy bear. But he's 22, my previous bf/fuckbuddy is a 16 year old furfag teen model, I really miss him sometimes.
>>52046554
It's just a mild case of the assburgers.
>>52046555
I'm too whimpy to call her. I think I made a ass of myself that night.
>>52043218
>>52043298
Not just lifting, but any regular exercise helps. I had an ED problem a few years ago (22 years old) and after I started exercising it went away completely.
>>52046690
Mate, if she said no it's probably because she didn't shower or she was on her period or something. Text her maybe? Don't fuck this up m8
>>52046690
>I'm too whimpy to call her
if youre willing to trade potential failure for regret for the rest of your life do it
im 25 years old tfw no gf and was too whimpy to call 'her' several times
>>52046747
>because she didn't shower
Swedish women care about this?
Reminder:
Twinks = Trash
>>52046690
>man, just ask her out for a drink or two and you will score next time
>>52046816
>implying
Every second of my life
Last time with another female, 10 seconds ago talked with mom
Last time with a male, 1 min ago talked with big bro
Last time with a dog, watched my dog sleeps on the couch
>>52046787
>>52046747
I think I asked her out while we were on her balcony smoking. I think she said no to that too. Hard to say.. my memories are a bit hazy.
I'll just live with the regret.
>>52036501
>delivered via C-Section so not even that
>>52046690
look at what other people are saying
if you fucked up, we would have called you out or laughed and felt with you.
>>52047005
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB_fNVOPzyM
>>52047020
Once told the guy my mother was seeing good luck but I wrecked that shit on the way out tbqh.
>with qt
>hear last minute that she has a big reputation for being a slut(why shes even with me, because I was clueless of this)
>very disgusted
>kiss and fondle her
>time for sex
>drags me into this small ass, dark closet to fug on a cold ass floor with just a thin blanket
>can't get it up
>end up dryhumping her awkwardly while she just lays there
>get dressed and leave quietly
>never contact her or her friends again
>>52044308
I am not a very religious man but I still crossed myself at this.
>Make out in her bedroom for 10 minutes
>She asks why I'm not ready for a real relationship, I explain that I'm too busy
>Make out for 10 minutes more
>I feel her boobs, she pushes my hands away
I had to get up at 7 AM the next morning so I left. She kissed me again outside my car. She's a virgin.
>>52036518
Dude you're young as shit, I was in your shoes once
Start meeting people IMMEDIATELY. Put yourself in the situation to meet strangers your age. Practice your social skills. Check what might be off-putting about your voice or appearance and fix it.
Get Tinder. Get every social media platform. You're not "too cool" for anything. Try to avoid using 4chan alone on your computer if you could be doing something else.
Work out. If you're chubby, begin biking at least twice a week. Bring water. Listen to different music. Buy clothes that people your age wear.
>>52047579
Fair play on your honesty, m8.
>tfw banging some short pudgy Czech girl with a 4/10 face and has a boyfriend
I just want a skinny cute gf now lads...
So what boards still haven't been invaded by the normies?
I know there's always /mlp/ as a last resort but I'd rather not have to start going there.
>>52044592
That's not how you shag a whore.
>>52036518
Just be yourself.
>>52035680
we made out in a dark theater for ages in august
I felt her boobs and she sucked my dick
now she's off at another college and just tweeted about "hooking up with a scumbag fuckboi"
:/
>>52036751
If you suck him off, he's not a twink
>>52046689
post pics of him
>>52035680
> yesterday hanging out with room mates smoking weed and drinking beer
> go to sleep bcu work in the morning
>first time in my life a girl showed interest in me
>watching movie with her
>we start kissing
>things get heated
>obviously i have no idea what i'm doing
>about to fug her, but she's nervous
>she tells me that she is a virgin
>can't get it in because everything hurts for her
>i go soft
>we watch the rest of the movie
>haven't talked to her since
first and last time
>meet girl
>she gives me sex eyes
>ask for her number
>she gives it to me
>we meet up a few times
>she lets it slip that she has a bf
>she invites me to her apartment to watch a movie
>she talks about how she hasn't had sex in ages and that when her bf is back she will be on her period
>i do nothing
>she keeps making moves all night
>i do nothing
>she starts talking about her bf
>i get annoyed and leave
>she asks me for a hug before i leave
>i hug her and never see her again
heh.. probably should have fucked her
>>52035680
got half-rejected by one about 15 minutes ago
feels... okay actually.
>>52049076
what didnt you call her a few days after?
>>52049735
too cowardly
>>52049969
just get a little buzzed and call her up senpai.
Liquid courage is still courage :^]
>>52050011
It was years ago, too late to do anything about it now.
>>52035846
This.
>>52050033
Oh right, sorry senpai.
Have you found anyone else yet?
It was with a hooker, a year ago. She was 19, I was 22. She was pretty qt and hot and apparently she knew that I'm inexperienced as fuck because she asked me why I was nervous. We kissed for a while, and then she sucked me off. I tried to insert my penis in her, but I couldn't, so she asked me to put some lube. I refused and tried again and failed one more time. I gave up and lubed her, then she rode me with no enthusiasm at all for a few minutes. Next I fucked her doggystyle, until I got tired and asked her to suck my balls while I was jerking off. I came hard and she started to dress herself and kissed me. It costed me around 300 BRL (~$75).
>>52035680
Smoked weed and talked about how it was the current year.
>>52039946
>Freak out a little bit cos I'm an unarmed Britbong, pretty much just hold her and keep an eye on the door, unsure what to do
>Fall asleep
que
>attractive enough that girls show interest in me from time to time
>never go anywhere with it because I have a small dick
>go on erasmus for a semester
>gf stays at home
>we skype nearly dailyand talk a lot
>partying on erasmus is awesome
>local girls are slutty as fuck
>they walk around the faculty in short skirts, high heels, etc. all the time
>erasmus girls are even sluttier at parties
>no cheating ofcourse
>wind up in a eastern european strip club twice
>no sex for 4 weeks
>gf comes to visit me after said weeks
>have 6 days of amazing sex
>not just the frequently has gone up, somehow it feels more urgent
>she leaves again
>6 weeks later
>5 more days to go before I'm flying home to see her.
>can't fucking wait
Look at you guys having success with wome and shit. Anyways
>be in club
>some girl starts rubbing her ass against me
>turn her around so that she is facing me
>feeling on her ass kissing on her neck and so forth
>she tries to tell me something a couple of times
>she tries 3 or 4 times but I can't hear shit
>she looks at me for a while, then shrugs and joins her friends I shrug and I join mine
And I am still a kissless virgin, you just can't fabricate things like this. Also that more than likely won't change since I go out less and less every passing season.
>>52035680
cockblocked
dang
that girl's quite the dumb bitch
>>52044308
>"I am offering to stain your current carpet with my semen so we can buy this new one"
Holy shit anon, you're actually the autistic star-child. God have mercy my sides are dead.
>we fug
>anon cum in my back
>ive been jerking off all day
>can't cum
>i say i can't
>never talks to me again
>>52046660
yeah if a fist can go in then any human penis can go in and most horse penis for that matter
>>52035680
It was summer 2000. She was a mate's brother. She came onto me at a club. We kissed but she bit my lip so I lost interest. She was pretty average anyways. After I was embarrassed and went home.
>>52035887
girl is wrong for beeing rude and granny is wrong for embarassing her in public
>last time
I don't even have a first time
>last time
lol
>be 23
>have 8/10 coworker but im ugly as sin
>talk and joke around with her
>one day asks if I want to join her and her friends to go have dinner and go party
>sure why not
>at party and all her friends are also solid 8s, keep gettings drinks from her refuses when I want to pay for something because I am her guest
>few days later she asks me if I like her
>say no
>thank god! my friends said you do but I said we are just friends!
>be curious and ask what she would do if I did
>would have killed all contact with you. Oh okay..
>after this she texts or calls me everyday, not a single day goes by without her contacting me or wanting to go do something.
>hang out almost everyday with her she always pays for everything, so shes not using me but im so confused about what she wants from a ugly fuck like me, if i were I would be embarrassed
>even blows her crush off to go hang out with me
>be confused, be tormented and wishing to die everyday.
I will never understand women.
>>52047934
/a/? /jp/?
