You wake up in 900.
What do?
>>51826152
preach to people about computers and shit so that my name can make its place on history
>>51827143
People will either think you're a shaman or crazy
>>51826152
Align myself with the emus and destroy the ape tribes
>>51826152
Teach people how to build guns and cook cheeseburgers, like any true 'murrican.
>>51826152
Try to learn norse I guess, try to benefit society with the wealth of collective knowledge I've had.
Move to Japan and become a Samurai
1. Recruit people and go to Victoria to set up a mining colony in the Goldfields there.
2. Travel up to Indonesia, ingratiate myself with someone with gold, find traders who travel to the Middle East, organise some trustworthy contacts there.
3. Use gold to buy books from Byzantine Empire, Abbasid Caliphate, Tulunid Emirate, and Italy.
4. Bring those books and some scholars back to Indonesia to teach locals.
5. ASEAN RENAISSANCE
6. Prepare a surprise five hundred years in the making for the Mongols...
>>51826152
Starve and freeze
ill spin around and shoot an arrow
whereever it falls will be the next direciton of my raping and pillaging
prepare your girls fags, we are coming
Noble up by speaking 4 languages and having a phd in economics
Slowly make my country the first liberal country in the world thanks to my growing influence at the court
Become the richest man ever because I'm literally 1115 years ahead of everybody
>>51826152
FYI -- No humans in New Zealand in 900.
Maori arrived "in several waves of canoe voyages at some time between 1250 and 1300 CE.[7][8]"
>>51827531
That only proves that there was nobody alive there in 1250. You would've obviously died long before then.
I become a mentor to Wenceslaus
Probably taking up residence close to him
Like a league from his dwelling
Next to a forest or a mountain or something
But also next to a water source
Preferably a spring dedicated to a saint
Attempt fucking a moa.
>>51826152
Unite Western Slavs, prevent German expansion.
organise a warband and raid Lithuanian villages taking countless female captives and make a harem
>>51827189
Samurai was not the ruling class in 900.
They became the ruling class in the 12th century.
>>51827569
Sculpture truly is the most amazing of all arts
How the fuck do they do that
>>51826152
acquire byzantine gf
raise family of soldiers to defeat saracens
>>51827626
No dude, you'd just be the only one white guy (assuming you're white) on the continent, and you'd get wrecked
Alliance with Balhae and eatabilish commonwealth, then invade Japan
>>51827562
True true.
OK well I'd live pretty easily -- heaps of easy-picking birdlife to eat.
Don't think I'd try to leave NZ, wouldn't trust any vessel or navigation skills.
Rock carvings/paintings everywhere... Plant some forests.
Probably try my hardest to develop a fetish for fowl, like >>51827587
>>51827699
What about those giant eagle things?
>>51827587
>>51827699
Would you go for the really big ones? What if they were as aggressive as cassowaries?
die within minutes
Get the fuck out of funland and move to the roman empire as quickly as I can, teach them how to make and use gunpowder weapons and go and kill every single saracen shitskin in the middle-east and burn mecca to the ground.
>>51827604
this
>>51827616
easy, just work at it every day for thirty years
>>51827400
So, not much has changed in these last 1100 years for you guys.
>tfw naiman
>>51827802
Would you destroy or keep the Black Stone?
![1280px-Dinornithidae_SIZE_01[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/kQXDKBq.png "1280px-Dinornithidae_SIZE_01[1].png")
>>51827777
Domesticate a flock of these little yellow ones.
>>51826152
Focus all efforts on Sweden, the baltics and Pommerania to ensure control of the entire Baltic Sea.
We can always rape and pillage the Brittish Isles afterwards.
>>51827866
Better yet: carve it into Muhammad's head so they have to destroy it themselves.
Move to Great Moravia or White Croatia, try and start a cult loosely based on the pagan Slavic faith. Also write down metric fucktons of knowledge. Now, I don't claim to be a learned doctor or a great physicist, but I've went to several national-level competitions for the subjects and I still remember a great deal about it. I'm one of those nerds whose favorite passtime was reading about biology or astronomy.
Could either get killed, remembered as a lunatic, or I could start a Slavic renaissance. Whatever the case, life would be quite eventful.
>>51827954
Devilish man you.
>>51827954
I like your style.
Move to the middle east and go Jihad to byzantine.
Travel north to Japan and teach them how to make anime and distribute it to the world.
A world raised on that would yield interesting results.
>tfw no one got your clever and cute and christmas-themed joke
>>51827569
try to 4 moreta
Spread knowledge from the future to further the advancement of humanity earlier but probably be burned or imprisoned for heresy in the process.
>>51827954
Probably get killed by something that I don't have to deal with in my current circumstances.
>>51828198
you just have to play it off as divine inspiration,
insist god is telling you everithing
>>51826152
>Heian Period
>Being a Fujiwara c.uck
>Being a Chinese c.uck
>>51826152
Probably freeze to death unless my house comes along for the ride.
Otherwise integrate into one of the local tribes. I don't think my knowledge would be very useful to them though, I mean I doubt solid state physics would be very useful to them.
If my house comes along with me, I would use my "Plants of coastal british columbia" to become a medicine man.
>>51828198
>le scientific progress was heresy meme
>>51826152
do east frankish stuff
>>51827604
What this guy said, except balts. Would give us abou a 100 years start, and when shit went down people consolidated fast.
>Viking attacks dominated most of the 9th century, becoming increasingly common from around 830 onwards. London was sacked in 842 and again in 851. The Danish "Great Heathen Army", which had rampaged across England since 865, wintered in London in 871. The city remained in Danish hands until 886, when it was captured by the forces of King Alfred the Great of Wessex and reincorporated into Mercia, then governed under Alfred's sovereignty by his son-in-law Ealdorman Æthelred.
>Around this time the focus of settlement moved within the old Roman walls for the sake of defence, and the city became known as Lundenburgh. The Roman walls were repaired and the defensive ditch re-cut, while the bridge was probably rebuilt at this time. A second fortified Borough was established on the south bank at Southwark, the Suthringa Geworc (defensive work of the men of Surrey). The old settlement of Lundenwic became known as the ealdwic or "old settlement", a name which survives today as Aldwych.
>From this point, the City of London began to develop its own unique local government. Following Æthelred's death in 911 it was transferred to Wessex, preceding the absorption of the rest of Mercia in 918. Although it faced competition for political preeminence in the united Kingdom of England from the traditional West Saxon centre of Winchester, London's size and commercial wealth brought it a steadily increasing importance as a focus of governmental activity. King Aethelstan held many meetings of the witan in London and issued laws from there, while King Æthelred the Unready issued the Laws of London there in 978.
>Don't speak Anglo-Saxon/Old English
>Don't have any family or friends
>Don't have any relevant knowledge of year of our lord 900 Kingdom of Mercia
>Don't have any sort of trade skill
>Don't have any money or property
>Starve to death or get killed for stealing food
Assuming I get past all of that, try and find a nobleman and pretend to be a prophet
Embrace Islam and go to West.
>>51828282
realisticly speaking, the average anon only knows scientific things with little practical applications so he may as well be trying to explain magic to the peasants
even if an anon knows the formula for gunpowder, does he know how to make a gun with the tools they had in the period?
>>51828499
Do I get to bring this poster?
>>51828425
I must restore the kingdom of Frisia under pagan banners
FRANKS OUT
>900
So before the Swedes?
Live a comfy life, fuck some sluts and praise ukko
>>51826152
Realise noone can understand what I say, and cry.
There were no Maoris on NZ in 900, they didn't arrive until like the 1300's
Hope that the natives revere the white man who spontaneously came into existence as a god:
>a. if they do then bang brown native qt's
>b. If they don't then die.
It's really that simple really.
Umayyad Emirate?!
Spain was kebab at some point?
>>51827777
They weren't, which is mostly why the Maori ate them all
>>51826152
How autistic am I if I learned how to obtain penicilin just in case I actually wake up in the past?
>>51828591
Yes, I have to head out to work soon so just watch this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QlrpWDW-y8&list=PLPq6iUifPrJbbavRcFLUHDqkNyXShMxh2
>>51828530
that's handy, but I think it's assuming you'll be going 400 year later than 900.
Mason techniques and modern xbow designs will do you better.
You need practical things to impress a noble with, not cool tricks.
>>51826152
why samoyeds, finns, saami couldn't establish a functional country ?
>>51826152
>australian peoples
>>51828701
snowniggers
>>51828701
Because their villages were too far apart.
>>51828736
>tchud
>>51828711
>australian "people"
>>51828776
>900 AD
>not being chad
Also Armenia is Christian, not Islamic
Why are there no games set in this time period?
Teach the boongs the way of the white man and build a boong army to conquer the world obviously
>>51828800
>this movie was actually about ancient estonians
>>51828843
CK2
>>51828843
Crusader kings
>tfw human settlement in my city for the last 4000 years
safe
>>51826152
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jb1mut03h8&list=PLYAndN7o-9klQCYCj1MrZXv4WhTedDNCv&index=2&feature=iv&src_vid=vJwky7NB9lw&annotation_id=annotation_1811464309
>>51826152
Wake up in this what you do?
Travel west, colonise both Americas with no competition. Later move to Africa then Australia. After the vikings have fucked off, get some guys to set up colonies in England and try to invade. Hundreds of years later they'll get their independence back but Wales votes to stay with us.
Go raiding!
>>51829179
>trying to invade England
You and who's army? Ireland's population has always been much smaller than England's.
>>51826152
> inland in the middle of north america
> only body of water is an inland river
> can easily get to -40 in the middle of winter
> nomadic natives only ever lived here seasonally to scavange for fruit and kill small animals
Starve or freeze to death, or wait for a tribe of nomads to kill me or let me join them.
I believe the natives up this far north were some of the most primitive, and given it's 900 AD, it would be a brutal and simple hunter-gatherer lifestyle.
I can try and introduce concepts to them, but wandering around the absolute middle of nowhere in a harsh terrain it would be pretty much pointless.
Survive, fuck, die.
>>51826152
Unite vlachs
Restore elements of dacian paganism into vlach christianity
Invade the magyars and exterminate
>>51829530
God wills it.
>>51826152
Make Moravia great again.
t. DonaldmÃr Trumpslav
>>51826152
go crop out some wheat
praise jesus in church
fuck my donkey
sleep
>>51832517
So, no change from 2015?
That's sad, Anon.
>>51826152
ah glorious 900's of turkic tribes. probably i would raid east europe and middle east, rape christian pussies, kill arabs and ape like russians and capture their childs.
>>51833650
>glorious 900's of turkic tribes
Enjoy being a slave in Persia
>>51833837
so you you read an alternative histor, please tell me more.
>>51828499
back in internets infacy I and my friend downloaded a collection of tutorials named "terrorists" handbook, and we tested out some of it, making gunpowder was one of those things
>>51833426
no
there are some changes
we praise allah now
>>51834177
that sounds cool, I made gunpowder with my dad, he had a chemestry kit from a friend
outside of that I played with whatever they put in firecrackers
now that I think about it my parents should have done something about that
>>51826152
WE RELIGION OF PEACE NOW
I'm Singapore but I'm in Australia now. If I wake up in 900 in Perth, I think I will probably walk to the ocean and fish there for life. Then either spread my futuristic gospel and get burned as a witch, or get plenty of followers, or just be labelled as a lunatic
>>51827156
But if they think you're crazy enough, they'll write down stories of the crazy man and his "computer".
And in 1100 years, people will look back at those stories and say "Holy shit a time traveler"
Securing yourself a spot in history forever.
>>51834268
Yeah, grown ups back then had other problems and people my age kind of raised themselves.
