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>be malaysian
>girl smiles at you
>follow her home
>shit outside her house to cast a spell to make her fall in love with you
>break in half naked and try rape her
>get overpowered and thrown out because you're just a manlet SEA monkey
>get arrested
>malaysian government sees nothing wrong with this and invokes dipolmatic immunity and flies you back to malaysia

YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/74727957/Malaysian-envoy-defecated-outside-womans-house-Crown

>A Malaysian military man who defecated outside the house of a woman he followed home was likely to have lied about his drug use, mental health experts have said.

>Muhammad Rizalman bin Ismail, 39, had pleaded guilty to indecent assault on Monday, the morning his trial was due to begin in the High Court at Wellington after following Tania Billingsley to her home on May 10, 2014.

>He told the judge that he had only wanted to be friends with her and talk to her about his problems but accepted he had gone into the house without any trousers or underpants.

>The Crown case is that Billingsley had been home alone watching a movie in her bedroom when Rizalman came in without his trousers and underwear.

>Rizalman admitted to Crown prosecutor Grant Burston he believed in black magic and knew of a spell about having a woman fall in love with you if you defecated outside her house.

>Rizalman agreed he had not told police, or others, about pooing outside the house because he was too embarrassed.

>He told Billingsley had given him a signal and wanted to befriend him which was way he had followed her home. He said in Malaysian culture if a woman smiled at you she wanted to get to know you better.