>be American
>go to college
>get shot
>graduate
>acquire crippling debt
>go to work at an abortion clinic
>get shot
>try to lose some burger weight by joining a marathon
>get blown up
>accidentally misspell "bong" as "bomb" in a google search
>get put on NSA watchlist
>get new job helping disabled people in California
>get shot
>somehow survive all of this
>get a huge hospital bill
How are you guys holding up?
>>51602761
>Moving to Europe
>Step off the plane
>Get shot
Can't escape
>>51602887
I know man. I went to Brazil this summer and got shot by an off-duty cop. I swear those guys can shoot anybody they want to,
>>51602761
>Never leave house
>get job through economically advantaged parents
>money
>play vidya all day
Doing alright
>Be American
>at uni
>crazy gunman opens fire into a crowd of students
>know what I must do
>activate_fedora.jpg
>phase warp behind the gunman and tap him on his shoulder
>"ready to dance, kid?"
>unsheathe katana
>through the power of anime, I slice the gunman in half
>save the day
>as I go to sheath my katana, a 10/10 Norwegian exchange student walks up to me
>demands I take her virginity then and there
>"But alas my sweet nordic goddess, I have classes to attend."
>tip my fedora, and bid her adieu
So that's what happened today /int/. Crazy huh
>>51602761
All of this literally happened to me and I'd say I'm doing just fine family
>More people died because of gun culture than attack on twin towers
>America declared war on terrorism and killed thousands of people,spends billions of dollars as a consequence middle east still burning
American leaders are worst leaders on planet
>be American
>Wake up
>Cardboard roof is gone due to slight breeze
>Walk outside to get in Hummer
>Man crashes into it with scooter
>"SUPPORT THE TROOPS"
>He turns and scoots away at full speed
>About to get in car
>Neighbor waddling around yelling
>"I HEARD SUMMA YALL SKIPPED CHURCH LAST SUNDAY"
>He continues yelling and squealing
>He pulls out a AR15 submachine gun and loads an assault clip
>Begins firing
>Speed away in Hummer using its off-road capabilities to navigate the potholes
>Leave work after 13 hour shift making planes for Israel
>Tip boss my overtime pay to thank him for not allowing me vacation time
>After work attend Pig Calling festival at the local Beats Audio™ Fine Arts Theater
>Drive home, stop for gas twice, tip the gas pump 20%
>Come home at midnight after a bite of arsenic-laden hormone chicken from KFC
>Bolice are swarming the area
>Go to house, police want to enter and search
>Tell them they need a warrant to enter house
>Suddenly SWAT Tank division comes and flattens my house
>"Not a house anymore search it boys!"
>Suddenly one of the SWAT officers shoots me
>Hear him yelling "DAYYYM NIGGA DAT FUNNY, HEEM SLEEPY"
>Call 1-800-OUCH to order an ambulance to come
>Wait 4 hours for ambulance to get here
>Call wife
>Can hear her fucking a nice big negro buck in the ghetto again, the claps of his big dick and glutes seismically slamming into her pussy
>Get turned on like always
>"H...hey honey I bet you found a nice big one, hope you're having fun, I wish I was there to watch... I'm going to heaven now like Joel Osteen promised, bye!"
>Ambulance arrives
>Medics ask for payment method
>Try to give them my McDonalds medical debit
>They tell me they only accept Burger King and Starbucks credit
>Die
>>51604207
Rather have shootings than streets filled with shit and disease, Pajeet.
>>51603430
>exchange student
>virginity
no such thing
>>51604858
Paki terrorist detected
Please contact good psychiatrist
>>51605721
Street shitter detected. Build a loo first.
>>51605755
Conformed
>be polish
>your country is so irrelevant that nobody wants to terrorize it
>>51605841
Literally nobody wants to live in your disgusting country. I'd rather live in Mexico with all the daily beheadings than your cow shithole. At least Mexicans shit in toilets.
>Be European
>get raped by muslim
>(pic)
>>51605901
>Minsk
kek
>>51606014
Don't cover up
