Hello my fellow Jews. Let's discuss amusing Jew-related stories
>Go to Passover services at a new synagogue
>Rabbi is female
>One of the attendees is a black women who explains she converted
>Another is a Guatemalan girl who tells me her mother converted to marry a Jew, divorced him, and stayed in the religion even after marrying a guatamalan guy, thereby making her ethnically fully Hispanic daughter a Jew
>Black lady then sings soul music about slavery to make connection between Passover and blackness
Easily the strangest service I've ever been to.
good job getting BTFO by your own multiculti meme
>>61479561
There are a ton of reform Jews at my orthodox synagogue; the quality of the services is just better objectively. The one time I've ever been to a reform service """mincha""":
>find empty seat
>"chazzan" is just some dude with a guitar and a microphone
>singing mostly in english
>mfw most of the ""service"" is just giving awards to people and telling them how great they are
>mfw left feeling like I hadn't even attended minyan
>>61479561
Nice, we're attracting qt Hispanic girls now. Soon the world will be ours! Watch out for shlomo Rodriguez
>>61479561
>Rabbi is female
>"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""rabbi"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
>>61479997
>Hispanic
From Spain or SA? SA is best desu
Germans killed most of them. Only a thousand or so left in the entire country.
However I will say that the only jew I ever met, was a stereotypical jew. He was incredibly greedy and narcisistic.
>>61481011
>greedy and narcisistic
but in an endearing and kinda lovable way, right?
fuk jews srsly
>Rabbi is female
>>61481135
מן הסתם יהדות רפורמית לא נכונה
באמת למה יש לה דכל כך הרבה חברים?
>>61481035
Sometimes, maybe. Usually being around him was pretty toxic though.
>>61479561
>female rabbi
Are Reformed Jews the Episcopalians of Judaism?
>>61479561
>Rabbi is female
Kek.
>>61479561
m8 that seems permissive even by reform standards
>>61481479
False. It doesn't say that.
Leviticus says that if a man lies with another man, both must be killed. What Sanhedrin 54b says is that if one of the participants is under nine years old, he is not considered a "man" - and so it is not required that the child be put to death.
Really terrible, huh? Sparing the life of a victim of child abuse like that?
>>61481588
Fuck off JIDF
>>61481746
You're posting in the official JIDF thread Pierre Abu-Hasan, stop whining
>>61481746
>Fuck off JIDF
Jews are cool :)
>>61481906
y-you too
>>61480216
What's wrong?
>>61481906
You used to be cool Germany
What happened to you?
Cousins from Israel will be visiting us this coming week.
Shalom
If I convert to judaism will I be allowed to these parties where you control the world?
>>61480216
rabbi means teacher not old dude with beard and bad breath
>>61483186
No. Lesser Jews are treated only slightly better than goyim.
>>61483186
That depends.
Can you shapeshift?
>>61483775
For 2000 years, "rabbi" has had a very specific definition. Just because some people decided 200 years ago to embrace ">muh reform" and change the very essence of Judaism means nothing.
Reform Judaism is a non-religion. They substitute leftist values for Jewish ones, do away with traditions and ceremonies, and relegate God as the core to the background behind Zionism and embrace for the modern State of Israel. There's nothing wrong with Zionism (I myself am a Zionist), but it is meaningless without God as the anchor. God makes Israel holy, without him it's just another spit of land.
>>61479561
>r*form judaism
>>61481479
Are you suggesting that the jews view gentiles as a resource to be exploited?
>>61481906
Dont trust this guy. Remember the last time.
>>61488883
Are you trying to imply Martin Schulz is Jewish
I'm not jewish but I've got a massive schnozzle and from a low angle I look like adam sandler
do I qualify?
my grandma is jewish, am i jew?
My friends call me jew because they say im a traitor
>>61489481
Grandmother on your mother's side, or your father's side?
>>61489630
my grandma's got the same big ass-nose as well, inherited from her
I guess this is why jewishness only passes through mothers
>>61489630
mother
>>61489697
Cool.
DESU though I meant my question in >>61489630 for >>61489525
So sorry.
>>61489767
Oh, then yeah. You're Jewish. Unless you have rock solid proof though, if you want to be accepted by the more than barely religious you'd have to undergo a partial conversion anyway to make sure. You'd have to be circumcised, or if you are already then basically they just prick your schlong with a needle (like a diabetes test kit) to draw a drop of blood. Then you need a ritual bath, and you're good.
You'd have to express pretty sincere interest in being Jewish, though, to have any of that done.
Googled "jews from Portugal and this is one of the images i found"
You guys and your rubbing of hands
>>61490164
I too am guilty of this. I have Slavic blood as well, so sometimes I squat and wring my hands.
>>61489697
I know that nose feel.
However, i've seen way bigger and hooked noses than mine so i'm grateful
>>61489839
no khara
I just ran into what I think was a Jew in my building.
He had the weird little hat on and was using girl hair clips to keep it attached to his head.
What are the stupid hats for anyways?
>>61490320
yeah well elongate that by a cm or two and you get mine
>>61490164
It's a warm-up for an intense session of penny picking
>>61490025
well im deist, but thanks anyway.
>>61481479
i hate jews so much i hope they would stop acting like that already
>>61490438
Post yours please
>>61490630
no I'm not an idiot who posts his face to 4chan
you do know there's a guy who collects every single one of these he sees here
this random person looks a lot like me except my mouth's not that big
>>61490761
I think that posting your nose is a little bit different from posting your face
>>61490856
oh and his nose is straight
>>61490856
Well, ironically i look a lot like fonzie except my nose is thinner and my mouth isn't as big.
But the facial shape is basically the same (even the haircut is identical)
>>61491044
I don't think either of us looks like the person we posted
