I don't know if this is the right place, but I wrote a poem on a whim and I want to see if anyone likes it or if I should stop forever.
Write me a fancy limerick
About my smokin’ pot
A life of pain and poverty
And never I’ve forgot
For each day it brings us
One close to our demise
So while we grin and bear it
We wipe tears from our eyes
But when we breathe that acrid fog
The horizon’s not so dim
And we could even laugh or love
With bowls full to the brim
So stop and stay a while
My wife, My friend, or son
I’d offer it to friend or foe
One for all, or all for one
Inhale the hate and pain outside
Feel the fire burn within
Breathe out relief and happiness
Meet the day’s start with a grin
And when I’m old and dying
Gasping for my last breathe
Just light a joint for grandpa
And i’ll go smiling to my death
>>2517784
It has a medieval feel to it
>>2517790
I was going for bar song
I wouldn't say stop but I would say expand your vocabulary. I liked some of it but at times it sounded a bit generic, like something I've heard before.
I mean I used acrid and brims and shit, I mean I thought it was vocaby enough but should I make it like insane? I could do that
try the guys at /lit/
nevertheless, keep a thesaurus close by. All that SAT vocabulary knowledge may help on expanding your vocabulary, your mind and, more importantly, the very sounds your work can make
>>2517811
I guess the only word i didn't like was (demise) I've heard it to often something else but i liked it overall keep it up OP.