I like seeing patent sketches, speculative technology, and experimental prototyping that just ended up being really terrible ideas.
Basically a thread for predictions and inventors who took a left turn while history took a right.
![34---Square-wheel-patent[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0Y0gyF5.jpg "34---Square-wheel-patent[1].jpg")
Even the most obvious designs must go through a period of trying everything else out JUST IN CASE
>>996525
I got one of those
>>997565
Is the cone gun supposed to double as a helmet?
>>997595
In Soviet Russia, anything was possible
>>997595
It was a miniature shield.
>>996535
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5dROhKeAOk
>>997605
>that Etch-a-Sketch font for "Fig 1/2/3/4" and the guy's name
>>997565
Ohohohoh - shit, man.
>>997624
I'm glad I was not the only thinking this, it certainly made me look closer at it to make sure I was reading it correctly
>>997605
What in the name of god is up with that string around the bullets? Seriously how the fuck does someone think of a design like that?
>>997565
Number 8 looks like a 50 round magazine for ruger 10/22 and number 4 is like the "coffin" magazine for Suomi SMG that was known to be unreliable.
>>997656
It's like a little sack that lifts the bullets into the rifle. Much like glorious well rope did for John in his backwater village growing up
>>997647
Yes, I haven't heard of the rifles being too fragile but I can see them underestimating how much strain firing a lot of bullets in a short amount of time puts on a weapon
>>997668
Interesting, I dig the name "coffin" for the magazine. Being unreliable, you'd probably end up in one because of it
>we toa now
>>997676
The reasoning I heard is that since most of them made rifle stocks hollow in order to fit magazines there, they became unsuitable for hand to hand combat (as in clubbing people) and back then that was supposedly a dealbreaker.
>>997692
>they became unsuitable for hand to hand combat
Only the Finns, kek. I would not want that for my infantry rifles either desu
>>997711
Easy:
1. 25
2. 29
3. 45
4. 56
5. 13
6. 8
Number 5 is not thirteen...
>>997565
N12 kinda works (without being wrapped around your hand, obviously)
>>997766
This looks cool as hell. Re-filling a magazine is probably a bitch and a half through.
A quick google search gave me the following link if anyone is interested in seeing some diagrams (I have never heard of helical magazines before). http://imgur.com/gallery/uFGzs
>>997833
Comments in the imgur link say it was discarded due to jamming issues. I guess that makes sense since there's a ton of bullets all spinning around as opposed to a straight or angled magazine sending them all in a line.
>>997565
Number 4 is a real thing too:
http://russianoptics.net/AK74_50rd.html
Can't really do much worse than this.
>>997914
Yes they can. Think of it as a self-propelled schwerer gustaf.
>>997954
German wonder weapons never cease to amaze me. That things looks like it's supposed to get up and walk around. Who would ever think that treads that small would work?
>terrible ideas
This fucking thing takes the cake.
>fucking seven and a half minutes of powered flight, afterwards it just becomes a glider
>no landing gear
> volatile fuel could dissolve the flesh of pilots & ground crew in a matter of seconds. The pilot's flight suit, boots, underwear and gloves are made of a non-organic, nylon-like material. Clothing made of organic material like cotton would burst into flames on contact with the fuel.
>cockpit was unpressurized, the operational ceiling was limited by what the pilot could endure for several minutes while breathing oxygen from a mask, without losing consciousness. Pilots underwent altitude-chamber training to harden them against the rigors of operating in the thin air of the stratosphere without a pressure suit. Special low fiber diets were prepared for pilots, as gas in the gastrointestinal tract would expand rapidly during ascent.
>over 300 aircraft were built, only about nine Allied aircraft shot down.
>more aircraft lost in accidents than in combat
>>996525
To advance against a hail of musket bullets, the Ming Chinese dreamt up several plate armor designs that were attachable to existing Chainmail/Brigandine/Lamellar Chinese armor.
It wasn't speculative though since the Madmen actually did it. In Taiwan, during Koxinga's siege of Fort Zeelandia, the Dutch reported a regiment of soldiers called "the iron troop" which were soldiers who volunteered to be first in the breach and were fitted with these up-armor things.
But I guess they weren't as cumbersome as this.
Project Habakkuk, an aircraft carrier made from ice mixed with wood pulp.
>>998191
Nope. The Ming Iron Troop wore what was known as 全鐵甲 (Full Iron Armour.)
It's basically plated mail involving large plates linked by chainmail. Resembling the shit Ottomans and Russians used. It was an expensive piece of equipment.
Southern barbarians allegedly used rattan armor in the Three Kingdoms era.
To be fair it's hard to do better without metal.
>>998265
I see they didn't skimp on crotch protection.
>>998265
Here it is from the Wu bei yao lue, a military encyclopedia from the 16th Century, featuring the front cuirass and the helmet.
>>998287
Backplates, legprotection, and vambrace.
>>997711
I cant see number 5...
>>998298
I know that feel.
>>997711
I'm a faggot and I don't see number 5, seems legit.
What a boondoggle
:^)
>>998274
And by all accounts rattan armor was quite effective.
>>998274
That looks so terrible even the reenactor is disappointed
>>998274
Rattan armor did exist. People from Burma to the Philippines used it.
Also the Chinese used it themselves, particularly Southern Chinese troops operating in humid jungles and the Chinese navy.
In fact, in the Ming Dynasty, Ming Navy marines used what is called 水兵甲 (Shui Bing Jia, literally: Water Troop Armor. Water Troop = Marines) which was lacquered rattan armor for sailors and other seaborne soldiers of lower ranks.
>>998139
And this was meant to be a rocket interceptor meant for HITLERJUGEND pilots, aka UNTRAINED TO MINIMALLY-TRAINED KID PILOTS.
![Russland_Dawydow[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/dai2l0L.jpg "Russland_Dawydow[1].png")
Not exactly a prototype but this shit just takes the cake when it comes to retarded environmental projects. Thank G-d it had never been implemented.
>Hey guys, Central Asia is full of deserts but there are some rivers there, how about we build an irrigation network to make it a socialist heaven?
>Oh shit, Aral Sea is now draining and the whole area is still a desert
>I know, comrade, we will turn Siberian rivers South in order to make Aral stop draining and add more water to the region!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_river_reversal
>>997960
Those are nazi designs you retard
![Tsar_tank[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/pz0CtFN.jpg "Tsar_tank[1].jpg")
>>998410
Have a Russian one, then. Weird nobody posted it yet, actually.
>>998362
I'm from the Eastern Bloc and loads of period jokes, satirical songs and poems make fun of the Soviet government reversing rivers.
>>998274
Rattan is tough as shit, nigga. We use it for baskets, and you can expect it to last until your grandchildren die. My cousins still use the same basket my late grandparents used.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvWLpCfcXe4
Have fun.
>>997711
I can't see either 5 or 6
>>997711
t-there's really nothing in number five, r-right guys?
Literally anything from the early cold war.
>>997711
I can't see any of them
>>997711
That's a color vision deficiency test.
If you can't see the number in the circle, it only means you have a form of color deficiency.
Besides, psychologival conditions can't be determined by a color vision deficiency test.
>>997711
>have perfect colour vision
>look at number 5
>there's literally nothing
no please
>>998726
>t. man with homosexual tendencies
>>997711
>tfw when for the love of my live I cannot see the number on the fith one.
>>997711
Is this a real thing?
>>998257
If they had actually built project Habakkuk it would probably still be in service to this day.
>You will never see a giant iceberg ship used in cheesy American pro-military propaganda 70 years after it was built.
:<
>>997914
METAL GEAR!?
I got a lot.
>>999862
>>999868
>>999874
>>999881
>>999886
>>997914
Oh look, the inspiration for the Shagohod.
>>999894
>>999900
>>999881
This has been done during Vietnam war iirc. Boats were manned with speakers that played creepy recordings that sounded like people dying. Psychological warfare at its finest.
In WWIII all we would need is to fill that can with YouTube comments.
>>999909
>>999915
>>999911
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d9H_1ygEv8
>>999921
>>999926
>>999931
>>997711
Number 5 have a 6 in it. Surely people are jesting.
>>999933
>>999941
>>999947
>>999922
>nice quint dubs
That's the one. I love this creepy shit.
>>999933
>asbestos shielded control room
hexes
>>999971
Asbestos is not necessarily dangerous. It only poses a risk when shredded, which is why it becomes a problem over time. The people who are in danger are the ones installing it or ripping it out or buildings.
>>997711
I know I have perfect color vision, five is blank. I'm guessing that's the joke, it's calling you gay
>>999953
>>1000013
>>1000025
>>1000045
>>999999
>>1000000
>>1000049
>>999894
This is gundams hugging rockets level of retarded
>>1000103
>>1000104
Yeah thats probably the worst I've got.
>>998286
Well would you want to get shot in the dick?
>>1000150
>>1000154
>>1000157
btw if you love pop sci art, pulp comic art, etc these are all from this dude's flicker photostream. tons of it.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/x-ray_delta_one/albums/
>>1000164
>>1000174
the interwar stuff is the best, shows how fixated they were on the idea of trench warfare
>>1000180
>>1000183
>>997687
Coffin mags is a common name for a certain type of mag. They make them for the ar15
>>999953
Monowheels are cool as fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgf51eoNTaQ
>>1000189
The actual term is casket magazine.
They're called that due to the shape, not the unreliability.
>>1000189
>>1000202
how come helical never caught on outside of Norks?
>>1000185
>>1000045
Those are real though.
>>1000208
The Calico and the PP-19 also utilize helical mags.
The reason no one uses it is because there's not a lot of point to it.
>>996525
>999999
>1000000
>>1000212
>>1000225
wat
>>1000264
Alpine jews did this.
>>999953
That looks rad as all hell.
>>1000317
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVteChAiQuA
Go to 2:56
>>999909
>At the beginning of the 36-hour war the U.S. has not yet decentralized its entire population, an operation which might cost $250,000,000,000, but only the absolute essentials of national defense.
What did he mean by this?
>>1000212
Looks like something from Star Wars.
>>1000225
>>1000045
>>1000045
>>1000225
>>1000760
>>1000760
>>1000185
>>999953
>>999933
>>999900
>>998257
>>1000760
Oh, to be a defence contractor during the Cold War.
>>1000798
I work for a DoD contractor, building radars for the navy.
Could you post the nuclear powered aircraft? The B-24 or whatever
>>997711
>CAN'T SEE FIVE
N-NO. I'M NOT GAY.
>>997711
#5 has a 6 in it are you all retarded
>>999859
A weapon to surpass mausgear
>>1000150
Now that looks badass as hell.
>>1000254
HOLY SHIT A POWERFIST!
>>1000821
>>1000312
hehe benid in vaggna
>>997711
I have homosexual tendencies but 5 legitimately has no number in it
>>998139
Even if they were mistakes they were badass.
>>1000150
>>1000154
Gyrocopters are a thing now, tho idk what role if any they serve in modern militaries.
>>1000910
much more the ork model
>>1000973
germans had a prototype
>>1000368
BUT WHY?
>>1001022
10/10 thread please keep it up
>>998286
Probably trying to overcompensate, they were Asian
>>997687
Fun Fact: French WW1 Helmet are based on old Firemen's helmets , whereas German and British designs are based on older medieval designs.
>>1001045
Bonus Fun helmet fact: Modern German Firefighters still wear a descendent of the old m1917 Stalhelm, although they are being phased out in favour of more modern design.
>>1001051
Helmet fun fact double extra bonus: French Adrian helmets have different cap badges depending on regiment, nation and role (Artillerymen, infantry, etc etc); making them an autistic collectors wet dream
>>997711
>homosexual tendencies
surprisingly accurate
>>997711
Itt: dumbfucks getting trolled
Not a failed prototype, just one that will never be funded
>A new bullet concept developed by civilian employees of the U.S. Army is designed be less of a danger to bystanders while still keeping bullets lethal. These bullets would self-destruct after a set distance in order to limit the damage it would do beyond whatever the gun is aiming at.
http://www.popularmechanics.com/military/weapons/a19577/us-army-designs-new-bullet-to-limit-civilian-casualties/
>>997711
I can see 5, but it's not a number, it's a penis.
>>998605
Good thing they realised that thing was a bit overkill
>>1000978
Wow that looks so unsafe.
>>1001045
It makes sense to base them on medieval designs because they were very pragmatic shapes.
You could say that most modern combat helmets are derived from kettle hats and sallets.
>>1001068
Seems pretty fucking useless desu
>>1000368
I can't breathe
>>997711
>>1000918
That's not nuclear powered. It just carried an active reactor as cargo
>>1001098
there were no nuclear powered aircraft actually built and operated.
>>1001104
the NB-36 was built to test radiation shielding for the planned X-6 project.
>>998286
There are always people who joke about that, but to be fair there are a lot of major blood vessels in your pelvis and inner thigh.
>>1001118
You don't need any greater incentive than "that's where my junk is" to armor your crotch.
>>1001104
>>tap
>>not provoke
Read it very carefully
>>1001134
>Read it very carefully
Sorry, I've made it a principle never to read something more than once.
>>1000150
>>1000973
>>1000978
The general idea for this sort of thing would probably be to put daredevils and convicts in them and give them suicide missions, or some such nonsense.
The thing you should appreciate here is that >>1000150 shows the dudes carrying blades of some construction, like they think they would ever touch the ground again after they took off.
>>999933
MMMPPPHHH!
>>996525
Moving Machine guns was a huge problem to all armies involved during the Interwar. The proposed solutions were the following.
>SMGs
Problem: Too small.
>Put MG's on cars/vehicles
Problem: Its restricted to where the vehicle can go.
>DING DING DING: WHAT IF
>GUYS WHAT IF
>GUYS
>WE PUT WHEELS/TRACKS ON AN MG WITH A MINIATURE MOTOR
>>1000496
>3:52
Oldschool Swagway
>>999933
>you see, war has become much less horrific in recent times
>so to put a stop to that I propose this flamethrower tank
>>1000259
>Captian Poole
>C. Poole
>>1001068
Actually, being a former joe, I could see a use for this in urban combat. I don't think they are funding this for the civilians though. It's to limit blue on blue. We can't use .50 cals or even 7.62 in house clearing because the Afghan homes are fucking mudhuts. It rips through them and keeps going. If you are fighting in a built-up area and you have friendly units nearby, you can't go tear a house apart with .50 cal fire for fear of firing on friendlies. People understand estimate just how much damage one of those can do once they get talking. There is a good reason we try to mount on fucking everything. Plus the incidiary part is fucking cool and totally only to save lives.
>we don't use white phosphorus anon
>we only clear brush with it
>not our fault if there is brush in cities and people are near it :^)
>>1000066
wouldn't this be effective?
>>1001225
Even shit quality 7.62x39 rounds go through those mud huts right?
>>998257
Global warming would actually cause the terrorists to win if this were a reality...
>>1001284
>A bear's fur is often very thick, and it can function much like armor. In situations between bears and other predators, such as humans, this thick fur acts with the bear's thick skin and layers of fat as a buffer against most physical attacks, sometimes buffering to some extent even against firearms.
>>1001298
They might pass through two-three walls before losing killing lethality. They will still and fuck you up even through a fourth wall. As an addendum: I was generalizing with my post due to the admittedly varied construction techniques in Afghanistan.
>>1001325
he still can't bite you though, it's better than nothing
>>1001422
Bear swipes will in the least break your bones
>>1001436
Omly a little bitch like you would die by a slap, you fucking faggot.
>>998605
This is a legitimate doomsday weapon that fucking terrifies me.
>giant rocket powered by a nuclear reactor that zips around the globe lobbying nukes
>when it's out of nukes it just continuously spews clouds of radioactive waste
>flies at extremely low levels so its sonic booms can kill anyone unfortunate enough to be close by
>nuclear powered so it can fly indefinitely
>>999868
>go through all that trouble for an elevated scout position
>don't even give the guy some fucking binoculars
>>1000066
That's actually a decent invention. No bear would be dumb enough to try and eat someone covered in spikes.
>>999941
Didn't the japanese have these but as torpedoes? And the pilot couldn't escape if course.
>>996525
>Victorian Walkabout.jpg
Hail, grand father!
>>1001584
He actually has a better one. See where he places his pad on? Telescopic camera
>>1001683
What the fuck is the point of having a guy up there then? Just place the screen in the cabin of the truck and only have the camera in the air.
>>1001687
This was WWI postwar m8. Periscopes sure existed but Cameras still ave to be aimed by eye.
Absolute madman
>>1001704
>Linerunner
What really gets me about this one is the fact that Krichbaum was thoughtful enough to include multiple settings for the formerly deceased to choose from.
Like, a '1' is probably the default "yep, still dead" setting
2 would be the go-to for messaging "AUGH HELP I'M ALIVE"
3 would be "I'm alive, but you don't need to rush I brought a bit of jerky to tide me over"
4 would be a signal to finish them off, perhaps for victims of failed suicide attempts or vampires
What do you think the rest of the 12 signify
>>1000254
>mfw 'umies try to make propa killy power klaws
>When you don't thank Mr. Skeltal
>>1001753
posting entire patent because it's funnier with context
>>1001753
>>1001754
>purpose being to produce the appearance of an apparition having a translucent outer, or astral body, and a diaphanous veiling constituting the so-called aura, the lighting being 0 of a character adapted to flood with a ghostly light and to brin out clearly the skeleton s outlines. To ad to themystification, the bulbs 22, forming the eyes of the skeleton, will be caused to blink, upon the subjects-replyin to questions while under examination, th1s blinking resulting from the variations in the sound waves as governed by the microphones controlling the electric circuits;
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA 2SPOOPY
>>1001754
>>1001762
>>1001741
>mfw I forgot to install a fucking off switch
Us old ones really are the shitty old neglectful grandparents of the universe.
>>1001766
Hell, I'd buy this for myself
>>997603
Oh boy. There's always some self-hating Amerifat fedora wearer that thinks he's so witty, isn't there?
>>1000103
I wonder if this is the KV1 after months of chinese whispers
>>1000834
>we Thunderbirds nao
>>1001067
>>998265
The image on the right is wrong,Wubei Yaolue records that the plates were sewn onto fabric.
Koxinga's troops used a different type of armor.
>>1002346
>>1001722
>5 Please insert monoxide gas now
>>1000264
The X-85 Goblin Parasite Jet. It's super cool.
>>1000854
I guess that's a number only color blinds actually see.
>>1001053
>>1001051
>>1001045
This is really fascinating. Thanks HelmetAnon.
>>1000157
Took me a while to see what was happening here. I thought the pill shaped machines were tanks being attacked by little claw-tanks.
>>1001672
>tfw mechs will never be a thing
Hold me bros
>>1003575
Why not?
Dont be so dismissive, weve already got UAVs, firefighting robots and work done on exoskeletons.
>>1003594
But they aren't practical anon. Couple good hits to their joints and they're done.
>>1001054
oh those wessies
absolute madmen
>>1001767
>the lore of the Old Ones
Was GW trying to make the most fucked over race ever?
>>1000230
I guess the thing is more "compact" and doesnt get hook on stuff
>>1001798
you're reddit insulting itself
>>1003709
Would be a pain in the ass to load, andthe cost of replacing every single GI mag in the inventory just wouldn't be worth having an extra 20 something rounds.
>>1003636
The old ones deserve everything that happened to them.
10:52
https://youtu.be/FyeoBm5QFnA
>>997565
>this kills the /k/ommando.
>>1004254
This is the dumbest thing posted yet in this thread.
This has to be a satirical cartoon.
>>997711
This is actually a color blindness test. But the truth is, failing one is never encouraging regardless.
>can't see number 5 for shit.
>>997914
>Can't do much worse than this
You'd think that, wouldn't you?
>>1004254
This weapon could be rendered completely obsolete by any vertically challenged opponent
>>1004275
that thing looks cool as shit, it's like it came straight out of warhammer.
>No comrade vladimir, we need more dakka.
>>1004259
You would think so but history leaves me uncertain. There was apparently a big period when we decided "let's attach guns to everything"
>>1004280
Well you just tilt your head down then- okay, yeah, no it's retarded as they come.
>>1004292
>Using Xenoslang
Report to the Commissar, comrade Boris.
>>1000066
Pinhead?
>>1004254
This can't be real. Wtf lmao
>>1001195
>C. Poole
>Weapon involves flame wars
Oh fuck
>>1004254
>metal crown can be used as cooking tool.
I'm in pain.
>>997603
>>1005271
Also, not sure if it's the same device but
http://www.weirduniverse.net/blog/comments/albert_bacon_pratts_helmet_gun/
>In 1916 Albert Bacon Pratt of Lyndon, Vermont was issued patent No. 1183492 for a "gun adapted to be mounted on and fired from the head of the marksman."
http://www.google.com/patents/US1183492?dq=1183492
I don't see terrible mistakes, only missed opportunities.
>>1006915
Koborov the absolute madman
>>1004275
KV6 was a hoax m8
>>1006945
I wonder if the Iron Men wore something like this.
Full Iron Armor wasn't mass produced and all the sources I've read claim that wore some type of lamellar.
>>998604
I don't think so. But people here are pretty gay, who knows.
>>1001704
kek
