>>335007
he realised he can't make it to Jerusalem on time

>wants an ennoblement, hereditary viceroyalty and admiralty over all lands discovered and a 10% commission on all trade crossing the Atlantic
>Portuguese turn him away because >lel
>Spanish hire him and send him West
>Japan was three times further than he thought because he sucks at calculations
>bumps into America, thinks its China
>sends an embassy to the "Emperor", Cubans are confused and don't understand the ambassador when he speaks in Arabic, Aramaic, and then Hebrew
>Columbus still thinks its Asia and goes home
>crashes into a reef accidentally, loses a ship, and leaves the crew behind to make a fort out of ship parts
>makes everybody sail back the way they came, this forces them to sail into the wind that brought them to America
>gives up after X amount of days sailing into the wind and turns north to catch the westerlies
>is convinced a storm is going to kill him and stuffs a record of his discoveries into a barrel and tosses it overboard
>comes back to America to establish colonies
>colonies get fucked up by natives and Columbus sucks at being a governor
>everybody complains about what a shit governor he is and he gets recalled
>Spanish strip him of his admiralty, viceroyalty, and commission.
>Ennoblement is pointless if the other nobles think you're a fag
>makes the first confirmed landing on the mainland but all the credit goes to Vespucci instead
>he never reached Asia
>dies with his dreams crushed

Because.

>>335007
He was literally insane. Dude made a bunch of conjecture about the circumference of the earth and would have died in the middle of the ocean if it wasn't for the Americas.
Motherfucker thought he was gonna convert the entirety of China to Christianity, march on the Ottoman empire, and trigger the second coming of Christ by retaking Jerusalem.

>>335058

Did he have atypical autism or something? Why did he suck so bad?

>>335084

He crossed the Atlantic because he was the one who decided to do it. Just because you're the first doesn't mean you're the best.

Dude was wacko but he had the balls.

>>335095
Its likely that contact between the new and old worlds happened a lot more than we can pin down empirically.

There's a lot of nifty little hints that Americans weren't as isolated as we thought. Linguistic similarities between ancient peruvians and Polynesians, ancient American fables and legends about mysterious bearded white people riding dragons from the sea, etc...

he's looking at the country named after him

He just wanted to explore the world and now people call him a devil despite the fact that the Spanish were perfectly nice to the natives, whom were the first to attack

thingkan of enslaving Indians n staff

>Outta my way Indian fucking shits

>>335007
He was forced to sit still for the painting when he probably wanted to burn indian villages.