https://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/4coo46/rumor_facebook_to_migrate_all_systems_to_haskell/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl2zo7tzrO8
FIRST FOR APPLE USERS EAT SHIT OUT OF THEIR OWN HANDS
holy shit
>inb4 Facebook dies in late 2018 because it's a bubble and people blame Haskell
It will be called Facebook 4.0
which one of you is sissyheartbreak? lol
>>53782351
>>53782809
>I'm too edgy for reddit
its going viral, lol
haskell autists can't beat poes law
these are your FP heroes /g/.
Normally on reddit you would be screwed in this situation.
But, Haskell fanboys will clutch onto any hope. :^)
Even the japanese "master race" isn't immune to Haskell autism.
>>53783239
>using the smiley with a carat nose
> redirect /r/haskell post to /r/programming thread
> bonus: /r/haskell autoposts to @reddit_haskell on twitter
> watch all my deadpan shitposts on haskell and being a condescending asshole to everyone else skyrocket
Never trust Haskell developers. They are lying locusts devoid of intellectual depth or scholarly objectivity.
it's time to learn haskell what's the best book
wait wait HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE
who the fuck is /u/tomejaguar
now this is shitposting
>>53782296
>posting reddit links
>somehow this is accepted
we le* redditors here XDDDDDDD
>>53783538
see >>53783460
It even shows you what section to find it in at your local book store.
>>53783577
>pretending he doesn't have reddit tab open
mods: stop calling people redditors, you can't know who is from reddit
>>53783538
if your a noob, Learn You a Haskell
>>53782296
>Haskell
never heard of it
so how obscure is this programing langauge will it help facebook die?
>>53782296
>Haskell
literally who
>Episode G - The Haskell Meme Strikes Back
>>53782820
>Oh look it says '/g', must be a /g/ anon.
That last line is a substitute command written in vim/sed syntax.
>>53783592
>OP post has nothing more than just a reddit and youtube link
>you can't know who is from reddit
>>53783681
yeah? show me proofs he comes from reddit or stop giving false claims
>>53783049
>i'm not feminist or SJW enough for reddit
KEK
This is just a very long and well planned rage quit by a senior manage/ex developer.
>>53783699
The link to a reddit thread isn't a proof? Are you mentally challenged?
>>53783715
I'm gonna have to ban you for giving false claims, we don't tollerate this kind of actitude in the forchink
>from PHP to Haskell
they should be more responsible and use a language that isn't slow as fuck
>>53783924
Haskell compiles to native binary. It's only the 800MB compiler that's slow.
>>53783986
Do this:
time pandoc -v
Report back!
>>53784000$ time pandoc -v
pandoc 1.12.4.2
Compiled with texmath 0.6.6.1, highlighting-kate 0.5.8.5.
Syntax highlighting is supported for the following languages:
actionscript, ada, apache, asn1, asp, awk, bash, bibtex, boo, c, changelog,
clojure, cmake, coffee, coldfusion, commonlisp, cpp, cs, css, curry, d,
diff, djangotemplate, doxygen, doxygenlua, dtd, eiffel, email, erlang,
fortran, fsharp, gcc, gnuassembler, go, haskell, haxe, html, ini, isocpp,
java, javadoc, javascript, json, jsp, julia, latex, lex, literatecurry,
literatehaskell, lua, makefile, mandoc, markdown, matlab, maxima, metafont,
mips, modelines, modula2, modula3, monobasic, nasm, noweb, objectivec,
objectivecpp, ocaml, octave, pascal, perl, php, pike, postscript, prolog,
pure, python, r, relaxngcompact, restructuredtext, rhtml, roff, ruby, rust,
scala, scheme, sci, sed, sgml, sql, sqlmysql, sqlpostgresql, tcl, texinfo,
verilog, vhdl, xml, xorg, xslt, xul, yacc, yaml
Default user data directory: /home/jon/.pandoc
Copyright (C) 2006-2014 John MacFarlane
Web: http://johnmacfarlane.net/pandoc
This is free software; see the source for copying conditions. There is no
warranty, not even for merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose.
pandoc -v 0.00s user 0.00s system 26% cpu 0.031 total
Seems fine to me.
>>53783460
Why do you own a book on xml that is almost as long as real world haskell?
>>53784022
cpu 0.031 total
I could run time python -c "print 'hi' * 1000" and get a better timing.
>>53784069
It's where he stores his spare angle brackets.
>Greetings,
>Its unfortunate for me to communicate that Facebook will now be backtracking on plan to migrate all systems to Haskell. We have deleted our GHC fork from our source tree permanently since we realized we spent more time caring about vanity and logic than shipping a single feature. >_>
> This is because we've found BASH+C99+GCC+Gentoo to be highly performant along with MariaDB.
>Thanks for all your kind feedback.
>>53783049
>I'm a pleb enough for reddit
>>53783239
>hundreds of millions of dollars in server costs are going to be shaved
and hundreds of millions lost in developer pay and lost revenue from bugs
>ALL THESE SHITTY EARLY APRIL FOOLS TECH 'PRANKS'
>>53783557
>haskellers
Is Haskell really that or is it exaggerated?
>http://www.stephendiehl.com/posts/docs.html
>Haskell has a lot of parallels to nuclear fusion work. It has the capacity to change the world
>>53782820
its le me XD
>>53785945
Brilliant.
https://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/4cpo2c/haskell_has_a_lot_of_parallels_to_nuclear_fusion/
> I've graduated summa cum laude from Harvard and work at a Secret Cold Fusion reactor powered by a quantum computer.
> I can tell you that all those GHC optimizations are true. In reality, Haskell's sugar easily and inherently fits right into Quantum algorithms. We're talking 1000petabyte greps filtered through in a single nanosecond with Parsec. AI Complete stuff.
> Not to mention, the code is devoid of semicolons, making the syntax look like mozart beautiful symphony.
>>53782327
>FIRST FOR APPLE USERS EAT SHIT OUT OF THEIR OWN HANDS
i have no idea why i laughed so hard at this
>>53782296
>frogfaggot linking to reddit
I'm not surprised at all.
>>53782296
Makes sense, haskell is the python of functional programming: 100% quantity over quality, with not a single usable 3rd party library, and critical design issues that everyone pretend don't exist for fear of reprisals.
>>53783460
i am reading this haskell book right now ;)
