ITT: Discussion of BDSM, Techniques, Implements, Experiences, Fantasies, Stories, Meetups, and Porn. Sweet delicious porn. Now featuring tankards full of dubious advice.
Fetlife Group -> https://fetlife.com/groups/66560
irc channel: irc.irchighway.net , #bdsmg
Old Thread: >>6512889
Starter Question: How do you negotiate limits? This includes hard limits, soft limits, safe words, kinks you want included in a scene, and anything else you need to hammer out with another person.
Fallout 4 is consuming my life so bonus points on post apocalypse themed porn. Good look finding eastern art versions.
>>6552654
One important lesson I learned is that negotiations never really end. People change over time, and moods are fluid. Checking in with a person that day to see if they have stamina for a session is just as important as discussing any individual kinks.
Given I'm a walking talking barrel of PTSD, one of the hardest parts of kink is finding people who are aware of trauma, and possess some skill in how to deal with it.
An important shift in my perspective is to see consent as both the complete willingness to accept rejection and the complete ability to give rejection. I have difficulty establishing healthy boundaries because there is always an underlying layer that if I don't agree to what someone wants then I'm going to be Hurt. Regardless of any ability of harm of the person asking, or my ability to stop them, there is always an expectation of Harm, and a corresponding fear which influences my behavior.
Part of how I conduct negotiation is going out of my way to help the other person feel safe enough to refuse anything they don't like. I'm terrified of putting other people through the same anxiety I experience, so I check in after the initial negotiation to see if there is any lingering anxiety of apprehension brewing up later on.
By the way, does anyone use the IRC channel? I haven't been there in the longest of times.
>>6552654
We have a secret book, where we've compiled information about fantasies, limits, turn-ons and language we like. In this book is the results of almost 8 years of play. Most of it we know by heart, but it's nice to have something to check when you're planning a scene.
We started out by exploring, then doing a checklist, then trying out different things and noting down the results. We do a check-in every few years where we go through extensive checklists and stuff to check that we're on the same, but mostly it comes naturally through openly talking about and sharing our fantasies and stuff in bed, as well as debriefing after a scene once aftercare is over.
With a new partner I would just plan out a scene in detail, but keep it simple. Red, yellow, green for safewords. I propose one activity, she or he proposes a second, and we discuss whether or not we're banging, and whether there are any emotional or medical issues either of us need to be aware of. Then we stick very closely to the script for the first scene. If that goes well and we want to play again I'll do a checklist thing with soft limits and shit.
>>6553102
>Red, yellow, green safewords
I've never really understood this. Like, I get the importance of a safeword, but it seems to me like saying any sort of codeword would break immersion. In the case of a hard safeword, that's kind of the point, to break the trance and get back both parties back into realspace as quickly as possible, but it seems weird to encode "We need to go deeper!" into a code word that whose invocation pulls you out of the deep.
>>6553182
We have always used them as way for Mistress to quickly check on and get feedback from the me, because I like to be pushed right to my limits in pain and what I can handle varies day to day. It barely breaks the immersion and Mistress can get if she needs to pull back or go harder in a second. We actually use a 5 word system:
Blue - harder
green - this is good
yellow - softer
red - stop the scene and talk, usually for if I need a break.
black - panic, get me out now!
I use my blue, green and yellow words mostly. I have never used black yet, but we have it just in case. My bet is if I ever have to use it it is going to be over claustrophobia.
As for other negotiations, we typically do those away from the bedroom, often while driving together, so there is no pressure for one of us to immediately say yes or no to an idea. We also tend to test out ideas through writing stories together, which is a nerdy hobby of ours.
>>6553102
That kind of diary would be epic useful if you two ever had an argument about what the established boundaries were.
>>6552674
IRC usually has a decent amount of people on whenever I get the chance to hop on.
>>6552654
SQ: Since we have been together as long as we have, it usually happens right before we get started. And by "right before" I mean during foreplay. Anytime we introduce something new, I make sure to establish a safeword clause (i.e. "tell me if I need to stop or slow down")
Not exactly "by the book" but its better than making assumptions and charging forward blindly (ha! Pun!)
>>6552654
I've kinda lurked here every once in a while but this is my first time posting anything and I'd like to ask for some advice.
I've been dating this girl for a few months and the sex was pretty vanilla for a while. A few kinks here and there but everyone has those. However, recently she's been hinting at being a sub and asking for more kinkier stuff that i don't really have any experience with. (ie rope play, blindfolding etc...) She's been very hesitant to bring these up and we haven't gone too far into anything she's suggested.
The question I have is should i let her bring these things up on her own as she sees fit? Or should I ask her directly and say I'm interested in it if she's interested and see where it goes from there? She's very shy even when she's with me and I don't want to overstep a boundary with her.
>>6552674
>mutual
Oh man I want this
But I don't know a third party to rig us both, or a way to self-bind properly while still setting us up to get each other out when we're done
halp
>>6553747
I would suggest bringing it up yourself. I am very shy sub myself, and bringing up bdsm was sooooo hard. I can tell you I would have been absolutely thrilled if my partner had picked up on the hints and done something about it instead of waiting for me to build up the courage to be direct.
But be gentle about it and frame it so she can answer a simple yes or no to a non threatening question. Something like "It seems to me that you have recently hinting at wanting to try kinkier sex. I am interesting in it if you are. Is that right?" and when/if she says yes suggest some light bondage stuff, maybe something like blindfolding her and tying her wrists with a scarf, and then ask "or is there something in particular you would like to try?" That way she has an easy "Yeah, lets try that" but she also knows you want her input if she is feeling brave enough.
>>6552654
So I want to set up a surprise for my gf/dom. I'm trying to tie myself up (guy here BTW) in a way that would be exciting for her to find me. I've done it before, but it was extremely easy and I had tied myself to the bed using our little cuff set.
I want it to be inescapable with maybe a note telling her things I wanted her to do to me (that I deserved). I was thinking to take the cuffs we had and attach them to my ankles while using the ends to tie them to my wrists to make like a modified hogtie, that way I could kneel if she picked me up and I could fuck her, or she could make me stick my ass in the air to fuck ME. What's the best way to put myself into a loose modified hogtie this way?
>>6553182
Honestly, we don't really use green that much, but we use yellow all the time. Green can be useful in situations where you suspect someone is so far into subspace that they'll agree to stuff they normally would not. In scenes where this is a likely occurrence we agree to use green when checking in so that I know my partner is still able to think critically.
>>6553284
Yes, but it gets more use as a source of inspiration/kinky reading to get us in the mood.
thought about not posting this but what the heck you're all strangers on the internet so I shouldn't care what you think.
I've lurked on /d/ for a loooong time and always loved the thought of being in a bdsm relationship. I was in a claimed BDSM relationship but from my side it was more of a abusive relationship(though I'll admit the sex was amazing). my last relationship had small kinks, girlfriend loved to be choked and slapped around, she broke up with me a couple of months ago.
Then a couple of months ago I start talking to this girl, she's kinda shy and withdrawn so I just ask her to meet me somewhere, problem is she lives a 5 hour drive away. don't want to bore you with the details but somehow this escalated to I am in a functioning DDLG relationship with a single mom and I looooooooooove my life at the moment.
Only problem is I'm a switch, I kinda want my little princess to punish daddy at some point. Just don't know how to get her to do it.
>>6555774
I'd go with an admission, conversation, and open offer with the argument of mutually exploring all aspects of S/m and your potential roles in interaction. Just keep things light and don't make a big deal out of it.
Tell her you understand the appeal of submission for her and you know how fun it can be and tell her that if she ever wants to experience what being Dominant is like with you that you would enjoy that too, but only present it as an experience that you oneday want to share with her, when she's up for it.
Because this is a new relationship you're still learning about each other so you do naturally want to see every aspect of who she is and can be, so it's a suggestion of normal experimentation. If she's really that shy you could even present the idea as a form of empowerment and self acceptance so that she knows that she's free to express herself in all ways around you.
I'm shy myself but when I can finally feel safe around someone it opens up a whole new dynamic for interactions, this will likely happen for her anyway once enough time passes but there's no harm in letting her know that it's always welcome behavior.
Do you think that sub/bottom men are more feminine? More in touch with their feminine side?
So I have a question for dommes who like male subs. I'm a short young guy (5" 3') with a weird body. Muscular legs (I don't know how. I don't do leg workouts, they just kinda happened) broad shoulders, broad chest, skinny arms, kinda chubby to be honest. Around 180 or 185 (been working out and dieting to loose weight but can't change chest or shoulders). I always wanted to sub but I started thinking that maybe I don't have the best body for it. Is that a thing or is it all subjective?
>>6556525
lol no, they come in all sizes mate
>>6556687
there is nothing about your body that makes you more or less suited to being a sub
>>6556712
Okay, so it was all just in my head. Thanks
>>6556726
If it makes you feel better know that muscular calves and broad shoulders are among the few conventionally attractive male traits that cannot be gained by working out, so you've hit the genetic lottery there even if you're unhappy with other stuff.
>>6556759
that's a good point. I just don't like how I have those paired with such a short body but that's most likely me just being self conscious
>>6556244
thanks for the advice. I'll talk to her, funny thing is she's really shy, usually sends me messages through facebook about what she wants me to do if there is something new, and 90% of the stuff she's asked me to do is stuff I hesitated doing because I didn't want to ruin anything. It's ridiculous how compatible in all of this we are.
>>6556966
You're welcome. Good luck.
Good news everyone! I'm the guy that wanted to talk about me being into bdsm to my girlfriend last thursday or friday (can't remember well), but didn't know how to tackle it without sounding like a pervert. Well, as i imagine you have guessed, i managed to speak with her about it and she's ok with me liking it, the thing is, she's not sure if she can dominate me (i think she totally can), but that is time .
The fun part is she kinda already expected i was into this... I guess i wasn't really subtle about it...
>>6557492
Congrats man
>>6556525
I think they might have bigger feminine sides but generally aren't more in touch with them.
>>6556687
It's all subjective. Some girls like bearmode guys. I like thin androgynous guys, personally.
>>6557585
Yeah, that's what I was hoping for. To be honest, I really wish I could be a thin androgynous guy but I just wasn't given the genes i guess. I could get skinny but I still wouldn't be androgynous or cute
Guys can you help me find a picture, it's one of those generic art style pics but the person is inside a shrew's fiddle spiffed up like a violin.
It's driving me crazy. Searched every site for "pillory" and "stocks" with no success. It's such a niche thing I'm looking for and it's making me angry.
>>6558306
Sure and after I ask I finally find it.
http://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=1648419
>>6556788
>sub's never
;_;
Hello /bdsm/ general! Today I learned a few things. The first is that duct tape self bondage and hairy wrists/ankles isn't a very good combo unless you're a masochist. Every movement was like a hundred tiny little daggers. Second, duct tape itches. Alot. Third, being gagged is surprising soothing. All in all not a bad first time self bondage experience, but I definitely need to get some twist ties. And preferably someone to tuck me into bed after I'm tied up.
Is there any advantage to using a safeword instead of just saying "stop" if you aren't doing a rape scene?
>>6559419
Try bondage tape. It only sticks to itself, kind of like thick cling wrap.
>>6559643
Oh yes, there's a HUGE advantage in using a word or phrase with a Pavlovian effect upon someone. If the average sadist hears you begging for mercy it's a major turn-on, but a safeword can be like a shock to the system:
Wake Up, Something's Gone Wrong!!
Safewords are by their nature big turn-offs.
As a bonus this type of control also allows for those arousing pleadings and mercy beggings to be incorporated into your gameplay. Just consider how depraved it would be for a sub's vocal rejection of a game to be openly ignored by their Dominant, to have those requests for mercy mocked and ridiculed as the play continues on...
I really want a cute maid to serve me and my wife/switchy partner. Must be good at, or willing to learn proper procedures for brewing and serving tea (generally the gong-fu method), fellatio and cleaning the mistress off with their tongue after sex. Gender not important. Would provide outfit, fun times, stern guidance, loving cuddles and friendship, possibly more.
>>6557492
Guess it's not just a matter of time until she gets the confidence to do it?
>>6559976
Only time will tell, really, i do plan to start out slow so she can build up confidence. Also it is a plus she's doing a course in dog training, so, she can apply those things and stay on familiar ground.
>>6559904
Are you a tranny or something?
>>6560055
>a course in dog training
Destiny is messing with you.
>>6560715
I know fate lines up really pervy things for me sometimes...
They might want to take the hint. It's destiny after all.
>>6560496
No? I'm a tall and masculine hipster-ish geek dude. Dom, but I switch now and again. For giggles, what makes you think I would be trans?
>>6559904
This position sounds so amazing :o
>>6559904
DALLAS
A
L
L
A
S
God, I feel bad again about not having any sexual partners. Without the internet I'd probably be feeling far worse.
It's completely normal to insist on your sub using safewords, yeah? I spoke to someone who wanted to go beyond their limits, and as a result not use a safeword. I have trust issues, and this makes me feel like if I were to actually do it, I could face legal action, no? Even then I'm not a truly sadistic switch. If anything, I'm at most unconcerned with the pain of a would-be sub, and smacking them around would be to discipline them or to possibly just tease/mess with them a little. But they could still break down from less. I guess it's important to really know the person you're about to do something so extreme with?
They just made me feel, I don't know, like I'm bad at being a dom or something.
>>6560715
It definitedly is, my life has been plagued with a lot of ironic situations. But if it works for the good, i don't really mind...
>>6557492
Congratulations. Be confident then it will help to build her confidence. In time all the pieces will fall in together.
>>6560855
You can face legal issues no matter what. Safe words and contracts and all that are not legally binding what-so-ever. That's the price of admission, but it's not like vanilla sex is much different.
There are other, much better, reasons for being skeptical about someone who does not want to have a safe word.
>>6560872
Please go on?
>>6560874
Well, first of all it tells you that your partner is a risk-taker, and one who will gladly sacrifice an easy and non-interfering safety valve in the pursuit of their thrills.
It follows that they care at least as little for your well being as their own, since you'll be the one criminally and/or financially responsible if things do go wrong.
Additionally, and for some this might seem a bit counter-intuitive, I think it implies a lack of trust on their part. They don't trust you to deliver a convincing and satisfying scene, so they're going to take away the safeties to increase the danger and thrill out of selfish desires. They don't trust you enough to get invested in the scene and only use the safe word if neccesary.
>>6560889
That all makes a lot of sense. Thank you a ton. I guess I was feeling that last part myself, and that's what was making me feel bad about that situation. But like, I could totally get into a scene! She has no reason to doubt me. Geez, self esteem issues suck.
>>6560890
Hey, no problem mate. You have good instincts, which is the most important characteristic in any dom. Maybe she will get her head out of her fantasies for a little and you two can have a cracking scene, or maybe you'll rock someone elses world down the line.
crosdresser here. I am getting few egg vibrators soon to try out taping them around my cock, and inserted behind. Possibly go out or tie my self.
Any advice from anyone tried before ?
>>6560792
I misread your post as "to serve me as my wife/switchy partner." So it sounded like you were a domme with a dick, heh.
>>6560792
I would love to be that maid so much, God
>>6560874
In addition to what you've already been told, most people who say they want no limits play end up regretting it. No limits play is only for 100% pure masochists and these people are very, very rare.
>>6556788
reminder that we will have good virtual reality within our life time
Could anyone recommend a good strap on harness and maybe starter dildo?
My girfriend has been intensely craving publicity lately.
We don't go to and aren't planning to go to any seedy kink orgies. I sometimes upload pics of her in bondage etc to the internet (obviously, with no faces or exif data), smack her bottom in an affectionate way in public - which is semi-acceptable and also looks like a typical thing lovers do, but we /know/, sometimes mention random TMIs about her for the sole purpose of embarrassment, etc.
So, a couple weeks ago we went to a nearby park when it has low traffic, & I invited her over my knee for a while. Well, technically it doesn't count as publicity when there's no people around, but the possibility that someone would stumble onto us and make a fuss was enough. It satisfied her, but not really long term. What do?
So what's your guys' favorite artist? Mine would have to be B.B/Amiba00. First ever time I successfully masturbated was to his shit (youngfag, only 18 and late bloomer) this picture specifically
>>6561552
Well, you could stop being a snob about those 'seedy kink orgies' and go to play parties that are literally set up for this.
Odd question: what exactly does it mean when someone says they're broken?
No context, I'm just wondering in general since I've seen it being used in these threads some times.
>>6560715
source?
>>6562140
Nana To Kaoru. Go read it, it's pretty good. It's a romance ecchi manga so there's no real H in it but the story and characters are fucking great. It takes an actual, semi realistic look at BDSM and even shows how it can be non sexual. It has something like 140 chapters by this point and it's still on-going so you should really go read it. There's also a semi sequel/spin off called Black Label. Just whatever you do, don't watch the OVA. It's fucking shit. (sorry for shilling this much, i just really love this manga)
>>6557492
How into it did she seem?
>>6562237
She was scared she could not be up to the standards she thinks i have, and she says she has no clue about nothing. Also she might have some missconceptions provoked by her reading 50 Shades of Grey *shudder*. As i said, time will tell, and we'll go slowly and only when she feels like doing it, you know, no pressure, it's just for fun.
>>656071>>6560715
Sauce pls?
>>6562134
Broken can mean a lot of things to a lot of people but it generally means that the person has experienced trauma from a previous relationship whether it be a result of neglect, mental abuse or physical abuse. This abuse can often lead them to be reluctant of putting trust in to anyone again or turn them off from the idea of a relationship altogether.
>>6562134
>>6562293
Alternatively "being broken" is often a key part of the bdsm fantasy. Being broken is mental bdsm where ropes and whips are physical bdsm.
A broken individual is a person who's will has been crushed. You see this come up often in dramatic action movies with torture: The hero is in the hands of a torture and they have to not give away the key piece of information. The torture is trying to break them - crush their will to resist so they will give them the information.
In bdsm fantasies broken has a similar meaning. You see this all the time if you read bdsm porn, the sub doesn't want to be a sex slave or whatever and so they resist, often refusing to do things their master orders them to do, master punishes them until they do what they are told. Repeat enough and the slave is too afraid of punishment to disobey in the first place. They have been broken.
In bdsm fantasy that is often only the first step of breaking the sub. Once the slave stops resisting orders, the next step is to make them stop even thinking about resisting, etc. until the sub thinks like a sex slave entirely.
This is why a big part of bdsm for subs is often resisting orders they have been given. They want to be forced to obey, they want the fantasy of being broken.
Hey guys just a quick question. What happened to the /d/ dare threads? I had a few good experiences with those. I can see why the mods would ban them, but did they just disappear or did they migrate to another board? Are there any other good sites to get bdsm dares?
>>6561304
>>6560801
>>6560800
More leik
OSLO
S
L
O
Thanks though, gives me hope.
>>6562290
Apparently i am fucking blind, sorry.
>tfw you will never have a cute gf/bf to tenderly dominate you
feels bad man
Mistress wants to try this, what is a good harness I can get her?
>>6561862
Daikinbakuju does some really nice soft stuff. This one in particular is probably my favorite of his.
>>6561862
Fish Boy does a lot of really good bondage gear oriented pics. Only problem is that a lot of their work isn't colored which is unfortunate.
Are there any manga or doujin that feature dealing with sub-drop or after-care cuddles?
>>6564143
Nana To Kaoru kind of goes into it.
>>6564157
>that ryouko
I don't hate the character, but I kind of wish she wasn't in the story. I'm too mono to enjoy the sister sub dynamic there. Besides, I just can't imagine splitting my attention between multiple pets.
>>6564164
Yeah, I think that the author kind of recognized this and sort of phased her out of being involved in any breathers with Nana.
>>6561862
my nigga
>>6564306
fuck yea
>>6564303
Ryouko is a fine character, but she gets in the way of the loving bdsm aspects of the story and I am the biggest sucker for romantic bdsm ever so I like it more when she isn't around.
She is the subject of one of my favorite pieces of bdsm art ever though (this one)
>>6564164
>>6564303
>>6564602
Alright, first of all: No spoilers. Not just because I've slacked off on reading it as diligently as I once did , but also because there's newbs2Nana2Kaoru who also won't need more spoilers.
That said...
She's a dramatic element, things were going too smoothly before she showed up, she spices the story up. Now, with her addition to the cast there's even less ways the story can ever end well for all the characters, how sad, how tragic, how dramatic. How will it end? Plus, Nana is one type of sub who is timid by nature, Ryouko is anouther type of sub who is much more willful. You may have also noticed that N2K spends a fair amount of writing displaying all the different expressions of BDSM. The author would have had quite a task in having Nana introduce switch play without it undermining her character's arc. Someone had to embody that option and Ryouko is the perfect character for it.
I just hope the author doesn't want to show us what a BDSM breakup looks like. But having Ryouko in the cast creates that threat. The story tension needs her for that.
All in all, I'm rooting for a poly ending without any heartbreaks, not even Ryouko, and I wouldn't be rooting for that if she wasn't there.
>>6564741
I don't think there's any underlying love between Ryoko and Kaoru to justify a polyamorous ending. To her, BDSM seems like a new sport. Another challenge to scratch her adrenaline itch.
Personally I hope she ends up doing her own thing with the other girl who cheers her on at the sporting events, and/or the slacking blond runner. The three of them could have an interesting dynamic going (vanilla / Ds).
Of course, I don't see that ever happening but it would have been sweet.
And then there's Nana and Kaoru who the author keeps throwing cringeworthy cliches at, just to have them reset their relationship every other arc. A thousand pages in and they still can't talk to each other.
Oh well. It's still my favorite manga dealing with this subject matter, because it doesn't the show the people who are into it as monsters/rapists/sociopaths like 99% of mainstream media with bondage themes.
What's a guy gotta do to find someone to tie him up and pound his ass?
>>6564741
>I just hope the author doesn't want to show us what a BDSM breakup looks like
I don't know. I kind of want to see that. That would be pretty interesting from a plot stand point
>>6564811
1. Be datable/fuckable. This is much easier then what many thinks. As long as you know how to shower and somewhat hold a normal conversation there is someone out there for you, and the shower is negotioable.
2. Seek out people, preferably people who are likely to want to fuck you in the ass, but playing the lottery works too. Go to munches, parties, clubs or engage in activities where potential partners are socializing.
3. Be open and honest about what you are looking for. This is the difficult bit. You need to put yourself out there to find what you want.
4. ???
5. Profit!
>>6559904
That actually sounds like a fairly enjoyable position...which, of course, would mean you're nowhere within range of me as those things tend to go.
>>6561552
What specifically does she like about public stuff? Is it the embarrassment? The chance of being caught? The thought of people getting off at what she is doing?
The biggest trick with public stuff (if you can bring yourself to actually do it) is you don't want to drag unwilling people into your fetish.
>>6566413
>>6566709
Shit, didn't mean to reply to any posts. Sorry.
Alright /d/, I have a small window of opportunity!
Since there are so many Amazon packages coming into the house for gifts and such, I feel I can get away with ordering some sexy stuff for myself without arousing suspicion.
I've never owned any latex before and I'd like to pick up my first.
What should I try? looking at possibly some kind of latex/pvc hood or brief. I already have a new ballgag+nipple clamps coming in.
http://www.amazon.com/JustinLatex-Latex-Rubber-Inner-Condom/dp/B00MQPQLI2/ref=sr_1_17?ie=UTF8&qid=1448945801&sr=8-17-spons&keywords=latex+fetish+mask&psc=1
http://www.amazon.com/ECOSPLAY-Rubber-Fetish-Accessories-Briefs/dp/B014H7ROPK/ref=pd_sbs_193_15?ie=UTF8&dpID=51IHBoHkq6L&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL200_SR160%2C200_&refRID=0CJ3W7BMWFB53Q6BBB65
http://www.amazon.com/ECOSPLAY-Latex-Rubber-Mouth-Nostril/dp/B0143Z4HSI/ref=pd_sbs_193_12?ie=UTF8&dpID=41DQxVH0taL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL200_SR160%2C200_&refRID=0CJ3W7BMWFB53Q6BBB65
http://www.amazon.com/ECOSPLAY-Briefs-Fetish-Rubber-Shorts/dp/B013K71YLI/ref=pd_sbs_193_14?ie=UTF8&dpID=51h3D0dybFL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL200_SR160%2C200_&refRID=0CJ3W7BMWFB53Q6BBB65
>tfw found a very attractive person into what I'm into
>tfw they really don't hold conversation well
How damn hard is it to find a submissive male masochist down with polyamory and near Wisconsin? Very damn hard, apparently.
>>6567158
>>6567180
>>6562802
Look at the Texas 2 strap style. It secures around both legs as a 4 point harness. Much more secure than thong versions. Also I really like a insert able double ended (such as the feeldo) secured with underwear or stockings.
>>6559904
where u at tho homie
>>6562666
not with that attitude :(
It's a matter of anatomy. Google is only giving me back results for vaginismus. Please help?
>>6567063
>submissive male masochist
>with a personality that isn't trash
Insanity Mode, anon. I've been looking for years and the only guy I hit it off with was emotionally unavailable (though we are still very good friends). Good luck to you but honestly, it's a real shitshow trying to look for a male sub.
>>6567347
How do i change that then? What's the "right" attitude?
>>6567725
>>6567725
Nobody want to be with a negative nancy. If you spend your time greentexting how life aint treating you right then that will be self-fulfilling prophecy. Get out there, be active and positive.
>>6567842
Aye Aye. Time to start looking up in the future (hopefully at a domme)
I have a friend online that's into light bondage, and within a small community, there were plans for a meet up, but some drama put the kabosh on that meet up
I hadn't shown anyone what I looked like because I wanted to get into better shape/a better job. I don't look like a hideous creature, but I could look better. I'd really like to get the chance to meet said friend though. Do you think it'd be better for me to try to establish a better connection now, or wait until I've cleaned myself up a little? I don't think I'll try to set up a meeting until I've got bit more income though.
And if this is too /r9k/, ignore all that and I ask this question
How do you guys get better at using rope by yourself? I wouldn't want to show up unprepared, but I'm wondering on how much I'll be able to learn just by tying my legs.
So how do sadists work?
Do they get please at others' pain?
And is it the pain and suffering itself or it it their domination and control ?
I want to me abused by a sadist, I want him to choke me and treat me like trash, but I'm not sure how that will turn out
>>6568422
Go now. Life waits for no-one.
>>6568622
It's different for different people. I'm a sadist because making others hurt gives me some kind of power over them. It makes me feel bigger when I make them small through pain and domination. In addition, I've grown to associate certain images and feelings with that rush, so now they intensify the experience. For example: A red ass, bruises, a tearful face, the weight of a hardwood paddle, the sound of sobbing.
>>6568422
don't wait, I am literally fat and somehow got into a DDLG relationship, and she loves me for who I am, I've talked about losing weight and she says if I want to I should go for it, but she'll like me either way. This girl makes me feel like I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
>>6568619
Traps are very possible but rare. Men aren't designed to look like women so it for men to achieve that body type, they need to do things like have an extreme dieting and exercise regimens and even then, you still need to get lucky when it comes to genetics and having the right height and body type. I learned a lot from /cuteboys/.
>>6569017
Should have specified the weird DIY chastity belt thing.
And yeah, although I don't think shoulders and hips like those are ever possible if you pass puberty.
>>6569063
Oh, I thought you were referring to traps. I don't know a lot about gear so sorry. Can't really help you there.
>tfw
>>6569184
Findom is nonsensical abuse, this is not a loss.
>>6569188
giving her money != findom
>>6569184
>I'm not actually mad but I'm mad
desu you should be plugging your internet connection with cement.
>>6567595
>Good luck to you but honestly, it's a real shitshow trying to look for a male sub.
Because it is not natural for men to be submissive. You're basically asking for a doughnut without the hole.
>>6569218
im male and submissive but hetero
>>6567595
>she wants Chad Thundersub
>doesn't realize he's out of her league
You deserve to suffer.
>>6569218
Doughnut without the hole is usually jellyfilled, mang.
Anyways, I'm a male switch, usually sub, and my gf is a switch, usually dom. it rocks.
>>6569270
Fuck dude, that sounds great.
>>6569218
Ditch the word natural. You have no idea what it means.
I'll fix your claim for you though. "Submission isn't masculine."
>>6569270
I've got almost as good of a pairing, but we both lean sub just a bit. I'm eager to please though, so I can pull off dom often enough to make up for the difference.
>>6569236
Lmfao. Fuck off back to /r9k/.
>>6569218
And you can join him and all. What's with the shitposters today? Shouldn't you be over in /gfd/ or somewhere?
so y'all seem like the people to ask about this, being pretty good with advice for safe sex practices and all:
i'm brand new to ass stuff, never done anything sexual with mine before, but i've recently been wanting to try more stuff. i've heard that this kind of thing takes work to be fun, and i just have a few questions.
recently, when masturbating, i've tried to just put one of my fingers in there, just to see how that goes, but because i'm new to this so i don't know what i'm doing, and it's embarrassingly bad. like i don't have any lube atm, which is mistake #1 i know. mistake #2 (or maybe it isn't?) was i barely got any finger in there anyway lol. not even past the first knuckle on my index finger. so unsurprisingly, it didn't work much. it didn't hurt or anything though, which is a plus i think!
anyway, so i already figure i need to get some lube, and some kind of toy, because i'm not gonna get much otherwise, clearly.
any tips or something to read for a total newbie to butt stuff? (and i am single currently, so i don't have a partner to ask about this rn unfortunately, hence bothering you all)
>>6569564
Unless you're using a cleansing enema, buy a box of disposable latex gloves, at some point in your future you will be eating with your hands. Plus, just a little hangnail can hurt you in a very humiliating way.
There's two sphincters, one right after the other. You have to work your finger past both. Once you do you will feel a sort of hollow space, your prostate is located on the wall of that space in the direction of your taint. Obviously. It's just a little bump in the flesh that reacts well to stimulation. Some people do have trouble finding it.
Always remember, this is some very soft tissue inside your body, so don't be too rough.
>>6569218
It's not an issue with males, the same problem exists with the females. It's an issue with people with submissive tendencies in general. A fair number of these people want to be subs because they feel like anything they attempt will fail or fall short and so they want someone else to take control and be accountable 100% of the time. It's an extreme expression of their own self-loathing.
You're dealing with people who like the idea of someone taking their agency away, humiliating and demeaning them, and pseudo-abusing them. Inevitably, there are going to be people in that population that have residual issues spurring on that fetish. A lot of subs I've known were victims of child abuse, molestation, depression, self-esteem issues, etc. I've known (female) subs who lost interest in being submissive after they built their self-esteem back up.
Same could be projecting with doms, actually. A lot of doms are attracted to that position because they have low self-esteem themselves and want to make someone else feel "lesser" than themselves to get an ego boost. I've noticed quite a number of male doms with a lot of issues and insecurities surrounding women, for example. They fear rejection from women, and are somewhat misogynistic and pessimistic about love, and get a high on demeaning and controlling a woman because it makes them feel more secure.
But then, there are other people who are happy and mentally balanced who just think it's fun for whatever reason and that's it. You won't know what camp a person falls into until you spend time with them.
>>6569867
>A lot of doms are attracted to that position because they have low self-esteem themselves and want to make someone else feel "lesser" than themselves to get an ego boost.
Yeah, I definitely see this in myself. Being given more reign over my partner when they're up for it helped a lot with my insecurity. I often worry that their submission is partly spurred by their low self-esteem. We *both* have a list of rights and responsibilities for this reason. (e.g. On top of the obvious responsibilities of making sure they don't get genuinely injured or violated, they aren't allowed to use me as a vehicle for self-destructive behavior, or trick me into upping pain or control.)
>>6570047
ope, clarity fail.
On top of *MY* obvious responsibilities of making sure no genuine injury or violation happens.
>>6569345
Masculinity is natrual.
Go back to tumblr.
>>6570139
>muh tumblr boogeywoman
>>6569564
Make sure to clip your fingernails, use lots of lube and wear vinyl or rubber gloves. The last thing you want is an anal fissure. The lube is especially important since the anus can't create any lubricant like the penis or vagina. There's special lube you can get for anal but lotion will do. Just make sure not to use food based lubricants, that's how you get ants.
So what you want to do is clean your anus (douching, enema, shower), make sure you don't need to take a shit, get in a comfortable position where your arm can reach your anus, put on the rubber glove and grab a fistful o' lube. Don't try immediately penetrating it. Massage around the anus and slowly go in. Just be smooth. After your finger is past the sphincter, you're target is to stimulate the prostate. It's a walnut size gland two inches into the anus. You generally want to aim up towards the stomach. This varies from person to person but that's the general direction. One thing you can do to help find it is to stroke your penis and get hot and bothered. Arousal makes the prostate swell making it easier to find.
Try doing all that with your finger first and if you feel it's for you, then you can move on to the sex toys.
Can someone tell me the source on this gif?
>>6570383
temptation episode 2
>>6570255
>Not adressing the point I made
How typical.
>>6570520
Fuck off back to your precious tumblr.
You responded to a point about there being nothing unnatural about sexual submission by strawmanning up the preposterous false argument that they were talking about masculinity being unnatural.
YOU never adressed the single point they made that showed your post as the pure idiocy that it was.
You are no better than trolling scum in making this response.
Everyone here on /d/ is smart enough to see your pathetic gibberish as just more cancerous weakness made to derail threads.
We aren't as stupid as you think, or as stupid as you. So stop treating us as only you deserve to be treated.
>>6570571
Jesus christ this burning fury is hillarious.
Anyways here's an article
http://www.healthline.com/health/low-testosterone/effects-on-body
>>6570574
Still too fucking stupid to understand the large words?
THAT'S NOT WHY YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED AN IDIOT.
YOU ARE NOT PROVING ANYTHING OTHER THAN HOW STUPID YOU ARE.
WE KNOW THIS ALREADY, STOP PROVING IT.
Hey all, have a quick question! I mostly lurk and never posted in one of these threads before, so let me know if this isn't the done thing or whatever.
My bf and I have been into kink (esp. BSDM) for a while, and we're starting to actually do scenes and stuff more. I'm really into hitting and slapping and stuff, and I'd like to incorporate it, but I've heard some horror stories on fetlife about injuries and jaws being broken and whatnot. I'd like to do things safely, but I'm having a hard time finding any guides, and I don't know of any demonstrations/classes nearby. Any advice on where I kind find safety guides on the internet? Or, maybe some more effective keywords to search on google so I can find them myself? Any help would be much appreciated.
Pic not related, just love me some Gamagori.
I couldn't tell you anything a Google search couldn't. Are you asking us to vouch for one above others?
There are sources out there for all of that but safety advice is usually specific for a particular type of play; anal play can hurt you this way, binding can hurt you that way, etc. etc. And yes, done (very) wrong both of those examples can kill someone.
You actually can play it by ear as long as you have constant feedback and safety checks, think before you act, and aren't doing anything advanced. That way you warm up to these things little by little and are ready when the time comes do do something more difficult. But I guess you mean to try "real" play as soon as possible, don't you? Is it just harder impact play you want or do you want to try something altogether different?
The introductory books out there usually give pretty responsible saftey warnings for any play the describe in their pages, have you read any of those?
>>6570597
Top kek.
>>6570597
>>6570574
>>6570571
>>6570520
>>6570255
>>6570139
If you guys are going to fight, could one of you at least post porn?
>>6570748
I don't have much in the way of porn on this computing device.
Not gonna get invested in the debate but I did notice an unfortunate shortage of bitchsuits
>>6571133
It's essentially over.
I think the only reason that it got so mad is because it really wants me to tie it down and spank it before fucking it hard in the ass.
Sexual frustration is frustrating.
>>6571136
Uh.
'Kay.
>tfw your heart needs a trusting sub to heal it, but your head's too fucked up to be anyone's loving mummy domme
feels like shit desu lads
>>6571305
>mummy domme
Huh, usually it's the sub that's wrapped up.
>>6571133
Are bitch suits safe at all? Something about the design makes it look dangerous. I'm ignorant about gear and I'm genuinely curious.
>>6571379
Most are pretty safe. They are meant to restrict movement, So unless the person wearing it is put into a dangerous situation, they should be fine.
>>6571379
If you put it on for longer periods of time (I'd say anything more than an hour, don't quote me on that) you risk joint damage. Even with good padding you're doing something your body's not meant to handle, and in the way it's not designed to work. Bitchsuits like that can work, but one needs to be extra careful with them and not go full hentai mode.
>>6570399
thanks
I'm not quite sure if I'm into BDSM or not.
I'm a diaperfag and an infantalist, and from what I know that's a subset of BDSM, but I'm not sure if I'd consider myself one of you guys.
I definitely like dominance and submission, that's for sure. But I don't find any of the "normal" BDSM stuff appealing. It always looks very..."dark", for lack of a better term. One of the things I like about ABDL is that it's always very fluffy and "sweet", even when the dom is being incredibly cruel and strict. And of course there's times where the dom is loving and very affectionate for the sub. BDSM honestly "scares" me somewhat (I'm a pretty fucked up person), compared to the less threatening aesthetic of ABDL.
I don't know why these differences matter to me so much, to be honest. Like, I fucking love pacifiers because they make it impossible to talk and they're humiliating, but ball gags do nothing for me even though they're basically the same thing.
I'm looking at the pictures in this thread and they're not really doing anything for me, but when I imagine a similar ABDL scenario it's hot as fuck. The two scenarios are basically the same, yet one does nothing for me? I don't even get it.
Sorry for the blogshit.
inb4 "kill yourself diaperfag"
>>6571410
>If you put it on for longer periods of time (I'd say anything more than an hour, don't quote me on that) you risk joint damage.
Only if you're really old. Otherwise if you're young, in shape, and flexible you can wear them for several hours - assuming they're made correctly and you're not putting pressure on the wrong spots.
How long do you think one might be able to maintain a pose like this? It looks so delicious. :3
So dommes, what is it that you specifically like to do to your subs, and why? What makes you moist?
>>6571703
>What makes you moist?
Way to guarantee nobody will want to answer your question, creep.
>>6571488
There's plenty of fetishes that incorporate D/s dynamics and aren't BDSM.
The bimbo fetish is a good example: it's all about an ideal controllable fantasy woman. However, it's not normally linked to sadomasochism in the minds of the vanilla people who have that fetish.
But if the fetish is also an expression of a need to be humiliated, restricted, or frustrated then those are expressions of masochism within the context of a favourite fetish.
It doesn't have to always involve physical pain to be S/m.
So the answer to your question is dependent upon what exactly you enjoy about ageplay, but if your kink interests never expand beyond this single fetish it's a moot point because BDSM is also about pushing past boundaries.
>>6560936
Two points of advice:
1. Rather than tying yourself, if you have a friend or partner you have confided in, have THEM do it. Allows for stricter ties, and they can get you out of it if something goes wrong. I'm about 100% certain you'll be able to find someone willing to indulge you at a munch.
2. Don't use an egg vibe in your ass - even with the cord, if it ends up too deep getting it out can be painful. Try to find a vibrating plug.
>>6571691
Not good for arms. The blood flow is interrupted. 30mins to hour maximum and should be kept on watch.
>>6572080
>creep
I recent that. Political correctness dictates that you should answer in a respectful manner. You are not a very good person.
>>6572080
>creep
Way to guarantee nobody will take your opinion seriously, faggot.
>>6572080
Moist
So I'm shittiest shit-tier switch. Mostly ignore my subbier side because Christ, what even is the point, all my experiences involved being in control anyway because stupid people.
Anyway, been about a year since I actually indulged any subby feelings instead of sneering at them a little and shoving it back under the rug. Currently in a relationship that has a fair chunk of elements of ddlg and ageplay, but isnt quite there and isn't acknowledged as such because she doesn't know anything about those and it would influence her behavior a lot if she did. I love her, its been almost half a year, things are good.
I'm away from her, bored and horny, looking for porn to substitute. Long story short, just read Raan's Doll. Hit that delicious fucking sub feel and almost cried while I rode it out. Shit was intense.
None of this is compatible with my current happy relationship. I'm sort of asking what the fuck do, except I already know the only real answer is shame it back under the rug and go on with my life, which is why I've rewritten this entire post in drastically different ways about five times- I want to say something but there's no point, so I might as well say nothing at all.
Almost deleted it again and quit for good. Fuck, I dunno.
>>6572856
>I recent that
>recent
Go and bury yourself in the garden where nobody else can see you, you're making us all sick.
I've never had a sub go so cold before
Not only did I break up because of that, but now my sexuality is also shot. Why do I always levitate towards these passionless people?
Where do you all get your toys? Do you shop online or local and if it's online, are there stores you've had better service with than others?
>>6573858
I've made almost all of mine.
my workplace throws away rubber sheeting that I've made floggers and flex-paddles out of
I own a bandsaw and cut my paddles out of 1"x4" wood and one out of 2/16" thick aluminum diamond plate.
I cut the blades off a couple of canoe paddles(band them tightly with duct tape so they last longer before they split)
I've braided whips and floggers out of paracord(I actually sell those to the local community, is good meditation craft.)
I cut canes from my neighbors cane-break
I traded a shot-loaded flogger for a matched pair of leather ones.
in total I've bought 1 cane, 1 whartenberg wheel(both from http://kjcanes.com), 1 crop(Tractor Supply store in town), and 1 hitachi magic wand(amazon.com).
check around the local community for makers. might be you'll get some good stuff
Where do I find a non-retarded dom? The only ones I seem to meet on craigslist either seem to have some form of brain damage, or ignore what I wrote and ask for something completely different.
>ask for proper responses, seeing as I wrote a decent enough ad
>''hey sissy ur gonna suk my dick''
>tell them im interested, but want to know if they have any detailed fantasies they'd like to explore
>''ya u be suken my dik and i make u my bitch''
...
I'm a male and I've know for a long time that I'm having sexual dominant and sadistic feelings. However, and I know it's paradox, I'm really shy when it comes to these things. I've been in a couple of vanilla relationships, but none of them made me happy. Unfortunately I've grown up in a environment which, while quite liberal in many ways, made it more than clear that it's in no way okay to hurt or mistreat women, and so I've grown up thinking that I'm a creep for a long time, that something was wrong with me, even though I'm a practicing pacifist when it comes to most things.
TL;DR: Have sexual dominant/sadistic feelings, but am, paradoxically, too shy to assert myself. Feel free to laugh.
>>6574158
>Where do I find a non-retarded dom
What you just described...
On craigslist...
That's a non-retarded dom.
>>6573725
Seriously? If you're going for emotionally unavailable people it probably has to do with your parents. Was your dad/mom there for you? Did either of them missing, substance abusers or otherwise neglectful/abusive? Did you experience some other kind of childhood trauma that either makes you shy away from real intimacy?
>>6573376
Come come now, you're not being very positive here. You should exhale all that negativity and inhale some positivity. You'll never evolve into a better person, if you're being so negative and uptight all the time. Learn to loosen up. Try to make some friends, you're obviously lonely. Take a shower and just be yourself. I'm sure some day you'll be good enough for somebody. Then you'll learn that the world's not such a bad place after all.
So just a general question. How open are you about your fetish and how do people react when they learn?
I'm pretty closeted about being into this stuff since there seems to be a stigma against men who want to be a sub (which is me) near my area and I'm just wondering if I'm being needlessly paranoid.
>>6574221
>Freud
Went to a play party this weekend. Had a stressful week, including breaking up with my secondary in a poly relationship; decided poly is not for me, but my partner and I are going to remain open cause that's fun.
So to relieve stress, she tied me to a St. Andrew's Cross and flogged me until I cried like a bitch, then continued until I was cackling like a lunatic. Then she used some electrostim things on me and I probably woke up the neighbors with my screams. (You missed a good show Ghost, and we missed you <3)
How are you guys, /bdsmg/?
>>6572871
Says a guy who clearly gets called a creep frequently.
Being into BDSM or [x] fetish doesn't make you a creep, only lack of social skills does.
>>6574158
>expecting quality partners on Craigslist
>2015
>>6574577
Why would people who you're not in a relationship with need to know about your fetish..? I know we live in the social media put it all out there age, but you don't actually have to tell people about your personal sexual shit.
If you mean mentioning it on dating websites, then I say just put it out there. I doubt anyone will care that you're into dominant women, and if they do then nothing lost since they're not compatible with you anyway. Just don't get TMI about it.
>>6574234
It was a Hogs of War quote you overdramatic salt mine. I don't think I'm the one who needs to loosen up.
>>6574577
>>6574844
Me three.
It's not like I'm ashamed or anything, but the ignorant masses of sheeple are soooooo judgmental about anything sexual that admitting you think the Marquis de Sade was a nice guy practically puts a target on your back.
That said, there's value in networking, finding likeminded (nonkink) people, expanding your kink social circle, and simple honesty.
So I don't judge those who choose to tell the world they're kinksters, I just judge them based upon the level of tact they use.
>>6571488
Get AIDS and die slowly.
I've had something on my mind for some time, and even thinking about it makes me feel extremely stupid, but I finally found the courage to ask about it anonymously so here we go. Hopefully someone here will be able to give me some insight.
I feel generally uncertain about where or maybe even if I fit into the world of kink, but I do feel confident about some things. Firstly, I definitely believe myself to be kinky. It seems to be a part of myself that isn't going away any time soon. Secondly, I feel that I really like submission. I like hearing about and seeing it as well as thinking and fantasising about it. As far as sexual stuff goes, practically everything I lewd to nowadays involves submission. I definitely think I'd like to be in a relationship at some point that involves submission.
For a while I have cautiously held and expressed the view that I'd probably enjoy doing the submitting myself, but I've never felt certain. A few things have nagged away at me and made me think that being a sub myself may not be the best approach. One thing is that, for example, someone who likes women doesn't necessarily want to be a woman, they probably want to be WITH a woman. Perhaps the same thing should apply here. If I were to enter a relationship as a sub, would I see it as being all about me? I often see single subs fantasise about being dominated, whereas I fantasise about submitting. The concept of submission in general is what I like, and my fantasies don't always involve me at all. They are generally just about submission, not MY submission or the submission I bring out in someone else. I think at one point in time I made the conscious decision based on things like this that being a sub is probably for me as opposed to just going with it because it felt right. If I am personally involved in a fantasy I have it's almost always as the sub, but perhaps I have mislead myself into this habit. Message too long, part 2 coming.
>>6574964
I have never been strongly attracted to anyone I have met in kink communities, but I have occasionally felt a little interested in people and they have almost all been subs. Another thing is that I like to see submission but seeing domination is not as exciting, if that makes sense. I think this could be due to me actually having more of an affinity for being dominant and wanting to see someone sub to me, but could also simply be because seeing something makes it much easier for me to connect to it. Seeing submission could replace feeling it when I fantasise, perhaps.
I used to think about dominating people quite often and I enjoyed that, but I do it much less now. Maybe I should try connecting with that feeling more and see where it goes.
I did some ERP once and didn't really enjoy it. I was a sub in this. I think there are a million different potential reasons for this with all kind of implications, but it definitely brought up some doubts in my mind.
Perhaps these things mean that being a dom may work out better for me. As I have almost no actual experience and this is pretty much all in my head I find it really hard to know.
I think I've covered the big stuff now, so I'll leave it here.
I definitely don't expect people to be able to completely clear this up for me over an image board, but I posted hoping you might have some useful insight to offer.
The answer I expect to get is 'You can see being a sub however you want so it could work fine or not at all with that view' or 'You'd probably be best seeing yourself as a switch' or something like that as I know kink is flexible and subjective, but I'd really like to hear other people's thoughts on this. Are there other people here with the same view? If that's you are you a sub or a dom or a switch or something else entirely? Do people who are attracted to submissive acts tend to be submissive or dominant, in your experience? I can see it going either way.
>>6574981
To be clear, despite my doubts the idea of submitting is certainly appealing to me. Needless to say, I feel quite confused by this whole thing.
Can someone post the rope instruction thingys?
>you will never sit down for cuddles with your dominant gf
>you will never sleep together on the corner of the sofa with her strap-on 6 inches deep inside your cozy ass while she spoons you
>>6574844
>>6574870
Yeah, that's how I feel. I just curious after going on my Facebook and seeing one of my friends change her relationship status from "single" to "collared (owned)" and wondering how someone can be that open about it and if I was just the odd one out.
>>6574845
>Hogs of War
Never heard.
A question to my fellow subs: Don't you ever feel embarrassed about wanting to be a submissive, and wanting to be humiliated and treated in degrading ways? Do you ever get that moment where you feel that you've seriously hit rock bottom?
>>6575596
>Don't you ever feel embarrassed about wanting to be a submissive
Way too many times
So I started my gf on no-panties day today at uni. Any other lewd games i can play with her via text? We're separated for the week.
>>6575666
Hi Satan, when did you get a GF? Anyways, I'd suggest something like going to class with a buttplug in (provided it won't affect their studies), or maybe masturbating in the bathroom between classes and sending you pictures or videos of it.
>>6575666
Make sure she goes to class wearing a skirt during no panties days.
>>6575651
Your wish is my command, my darling, let the nice bara enthusiast lady put a smile on your face and in your pants.
>>6576165
>>6576167
>>6576168
>>6576171
>tfw you'll never tie a lewd tk on a big guy that makes the bara tiddies look even more delicious
>>6576173
(also I know that isn't a tk in the picture, I just always fantasise about doing it with a TK)
>>6576174
>>6576177
>>6576178
>>6576181
>>6576184
>>6576185
>>6576186
>>6576187
>>6576188
>>6576189
>>6576190
And I'm spent. Enjoy!
Anyone else likes doing evil shit for no reason?
My girlfriend has been getting really into spanking lately and does not even mind saying hi to our old friend, the belt on the bare, so I'm just being a dick now.
Ex. She (wearing boyshorts for underwear): Aren't you going to take my panties down, master?
-Not sure why.
-Well, they are going to get in the way, aren't they? Kind of too much protection.
-Oh, not at all, they don't cover anything I'm needing.
-Excuse me?
-Your sitspots. Be a good girl and fetch me a hairbrush.
-...please take my panties down.
-Fascinating. Hairbrush, please.
My little Princess has a bit of a thing for throatfucking me and she's been trying to train me to suppress my gag reflex for her. So... She's laying back on the bed with her strapon pointed skywards, I'm between her legs all face down ass up and going to town, fairly sizable glass buttplug up my arse.
She really begins getting in to things and, to my credit, I'm taking it like a fucking champion despite all of the tears and snot and drool I can feel streaming down my face. Before long she's pushing my head down with everything she's got, hips lifting up off the bed, and she's holding me there faux-balls deep.
And... I'm not gagging! I can feel the shape of the head buried right down my throat and for a moment all I can think about what a good boy I'm being.
A good boy who can't breath, or pull himself up off Princess' cock. A good boy who's slowly starting to panic. A good boy whose fierce gag reflex decides to kick right back in at that moment.
Today, /d/, I did the impossible. I gagged and spasmed with enough force to launch that sizable plug clean across the room like a lubricated fucking cannon ball. We're talking at least 10 feet and hitting the floor like a thud.
That was it. Scene over. Done. Finito. I don't think either of us have ever laughed so hard. She's left for work and I'm still lying here giggling to myself like an idiot.
>>6575596
If it's something you're actually indulging: What are you and those you play with doing in terms of aftercare?
I've felt this plenty of times, almost always after the fact and almost always when something has cropped up that meant we had to skip out on the usual post scene cuddling and re-assurance. Sub-drop can hit me pretty damn hard, especially if my limits are pushed around degradation.
>>6576710
Haha, that is so cute. Sounds like something that would happen to me and my pet.
>>6575596
A guy I've been talking to recently feels like this. It's a little sad because he's really good-looking and funny and fun to be around, so as a male sub, he's in the top 0.2%, but even despite that, he feels self-conscious about it. Hopefully he'll change his mind when he realises how many dommes are desperate to meet a sub who isn't total garbage to talk to. Honestly, I'd very much like a piece of him myself.
>>6577287
Male subs are a dime a dozen but gems like that really do have to be hunted down by ambitious Dominants.
It's just not fair, fun to play out the game, but not fair.
So are you going to think only of yourself and exploit him or act in his interests and play matchmaker?
hey guys. i´ve been into bdsm for a really long time now. it has been my first fetish and will always be my prime one.i was just thinking about doing the next step and register on fetlife, however EVERY username seems to be taken. any suggestions for a dom male?
>>6577524
Mr. Dommlydom
>>6577524
If you're trying to think of a username that reflects your fetishes, you're doing it wrong in the first place. Just be yourself, not You-The-Dom. Otherwise you're only going to attract people who want to use you for a fetish experience, and a lot of the sub women who would do that are c r a z y.
>>6577300
Not fair how?
And I'm just going to help him educate himself on BDSM and check out events and stuff, and go with the flow from there. If he turns out to be interested in me, lovely, but I very much doubt he would be as he's good friends with a guy I had a horribly messy breakup with. So if I have no chance myself, I'll definitely see who's looking out of my domme friends.
>>6574870
> ignorant masses of sheeple
Please tell me you're joking.
>>6562258
I know 50 shades of grey is bad, but now bad is it?
>>6578076
It's basically an abusive relationship but everyone who isn't critical enough to question it (most of the people out there now) who reads it just plays it off as "oh, they're just kinky, nothing wrong here" which mis-represents bdsm relationships, doms particularly since the male top is shown as controlling, manipulative and obsessive. Another issue is that it's a super unrealistic depiction of BDSM. It's fantasy and that's okay but there's nothing to mark that, so everyone reads it and think that's how it works when it doesn't. Another problem is that vanilla people read it, think they're experts on the subject, try it out and wind up hurting themselves or someone else. There's way more than that though but you can look it up yourself.
Very bad. It's good that it brings the subject matter to the mainstream so it can get more exposure and open an important dialogue but it does it in such a shitty way that it's detrimental to the community.
>>6578112
It's porn for women. The guy has to be like that.
To quote the wonderful poem by Marilyn Hacker:
"Women love a sick child or a healthy animal; A man who is both itches them like an incubus."
>>6575596 here again.
>>6576731
I'm not with anyone right now so there is no aftercare, and that's the whole issue. This stuff, liking it, embarrasses me even outside of any play. There are days when seeing myself in the mirror feels awkward, if I'm doing things by myself.
>>6577287
If you want him to yourself, it's definitely your job to make him feel comfortable, and nobody else's. You could tell him that if he wants to try any of his fantasies, you could help him. If he's interested, do practice sessions and play by his rules first, agree to go trough all the scenarios he wants to play out, on his terms. Make sure you're very private and no strings attached. What happens in Vegas... you know? The whole point is that he has to feel good about the situation to learn to like it, the first times have to be positive.
>>6578153
Yeah and I get that but people see that and they think "oh yeah, every guy that's into bondage or s&m is like that". That's the problem a lot of people are having with it
>>6578206
Well, I think even as his friend, it's my job to help him see that there's nothing shameful or weak about being a submissive guy, even if I didn't have any sort of interest in him.
Anyway, my girlfriend kinda jumped the shark and started sending him pictures of her with... equipment and saying we wanted to do stuff to him, and stuff. So he now knows that we're interested.
>You could tell him that if he wants to try any of his fantasies, you could help him. If he's interested, do practice sessions and play by his rules first, agree to go trough all the scenarios he wants to play out, on his terms.
That sounds an awful lot like service topping, which I do not do.
Right now I'm trying to get him to fill out his profile and fetish list, once he's done that I'm going to see what he's into and say okay, well XYZ are things that we're into, so if you wanted to try that, we'd be happy to help. I've also offered to go to events with him so he doesn't have to go alone to check things out, but I haven't offered as a date. I hope I made that clear to him ._. not that I wouldn't wanna go with him as my date! But I don't want him to feel like if he wants to go to events with me, he's obliged to do stuff with me.
>>6577624
>Not fair how?
I'm very lazy. I rather like being wooed as opposed to pursuing any mate myself.
But that's not always the way to find quality.
>>6578634
If you're a dom you should really expect to do the pursuing...
>>6578548
>That sounds an awful lot like service topping, which I do not do.
The point is that you should first give him an easy start, so he doesn't panic on his first go and learns to appreciate the sport more. Then advance to the big leagues from there, when the guy has more experience under his belt and roughly knows what he's capable of and where his limits go. You have to understand that if the new guy is squeamish, you too must sacrifice some of your personal comfort during the introduction period for his benefit, so the whole thing doesn't land on it's ass if he suddenly freaks out. Basic psychology. Build a solid foundation first, and then you have something that lasts you for years.
But having said that, you and your buddy are at least offering to help, which is good. Hope things work out for him and you.
>>6578728
I mean, I'm fine with taking things super slow with a newbie, but I'm never gonna say to someone 'give me a list of your fantasies and I will enact them for you like I have no will of my own.' That's utterly defeating the point.
