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>they're playing cards
>one of the guys suggest they play strip poker
>all the girls look at me
>can hear whispering and see them all exchanging looks
>the guy who owns the cdplayer says
"come on girls", he fixed our cd-player, remember?
>they nod and giggle a bit
>cards are being dealt
>i never played poker, have no idea what it's about
>apparently one of the girl loses and has to drop her tshirt
>can hear one of the guys laughing and saying "remember it's 10 seconds"
>they all laugh

>she starts taking her tshirt off
>basically no boobs, but shes still wearing a bra
>i start counting, out loud, like an autistic faggot
>"ONE... TWO.. .THREE"
>they all stop laughing and clearly uncomfortable
>i'm having the time of my life staring at this
>have no idea how awkward i am
>after some time she puts her tshirt back on

>i say rather loudly, "Hey, that was only 7 seconds, no cheating!"
>she looks at the guys
>the guy with the cd-player comes over to me and says i should probably head to my own room.
>i nod a few times, "oh, is the game over?"
> "ye... yeah anon, the game is over.. you won, cool right?"

>go to bed, can hear laughing and them having fun through the entire night.


wonder how it feels to have friends

wew lad

>>693107168
I don't see the problem

The bitch cheated

Why the fuck did you go to bed?

>>693108108
> asking why someone has autism

>>693107988
yea what a cheating bitch

okay let me tell you my most autistic thing

>my entire life

>be me
>18yo
>Have a crush on a girl who sits behind me in class.
>Friends always encourage me to talk to her.
>Almost 3 months,couldnt have a good conversation yet.

Life is not always what you want it to be.

I once had to spare some kids feelings because he was ruining our game of strip poker at camp. At least he fixed my CD player though

Lel u posted this on pol first

>>693109765
i need as many comments/feedback as possible to evaluate my life
>get on my level normie

>>693108719
lol

I let my dog eat my jizz once because I was too lazy to pick up a sock or get a tissue. Does that count?

oh god anon

>>693107168
IMO fam you are just in dire need of more social interaction

>>693111235
No shit Sherlock

Thank God I'm completely different now but I was a huge fucking sperg when I was younger and I thought I was hot shit.
>be 14
>huge crush on girl in class called Caitlyn
>i sat next to her in a few classes, we got on well but there was no chance she liked me back
>going to maths class one morning
>other sperg friend was complaining about the girls saying how they are all bitches
>disagree, tell him that Caitlin is all right
>he laughs and asks if I like her
>tell him maybe
>he laughs harder and as we're going in to class he tells her I like her
>start to sweat and panic
>me and Caitlin are about to sit in our designated seats
>she obviously takes it as a joke and says that there's plenty more fish in the sea
>I turn and look her in the eyes
>"But there aren't Caitlyn, you are the only one I'd like"
>her jaw drops
>teacher comes in
>begins register so everyone has to shut up
>I sat next to her for two more years and we never spoke a single word in class
Fuck it took 3 years for her to start talking to me again

u trigger me fgt go suck a nignog dick fucking pop face ;P

>>693112487
Mate that was alpha as fuck, she just a stupid bitch who didnt know what she missed

>>693107988
Kek

>>693112681
Nah I don't blame her, I was a seriously scrawny kid with the 'girls always choose the douchebags attitude'.
When I grew up I got fairly good looking and less of a sperg and fucked all her friends so w/e

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>>693112964
Fair enough

>>693107099
u deserv a /b/ro hug

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>>693112487
I wouldve done same

ok so

>be me
>sat in youth group bc lonely
>first night, going well
>zone out of convo to eat the free pizza
>hear someone from the room say matt damon
>teamamericaactivate.jpg
>my time to shine motherfuckers
>shout MERT DERMAN
>await laughter
>look up
>horrified faces
>opposite me the autistic kid i saw earlier is glaring
>stared down by room
>seppuku.png
>apologise
>sit in silence
>leave to never return

>Middle school
>Told a girl I was a good fighter
>Lied about making someone bleed
>Got my ass handed to me in a fight
>She was there too

>>693112964
Literally never happened

>>693112487
That was alpha as fuck, anon.

>>693113633
Believe what you want to believe my friend, but is fucking girls that hard to believe?

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>>693113460
>>693113486

There was one time where I accidentally looked like an alpha.
>liked a girl in my class, let's call her Kate
>decide to just go for it and ask her out
>she says no, doesn't give an reason
>meh whatever
>turns our she had a boyfriend who was in the popular group, even though he was a huge pussy compared to his friends
>I was completely unaware
>he and his large group of faggots came up to me
>he walks close to me, didn't really think anything of it at the time
>"hey anon, did you ask out Kate earlier"
>"Aye I did. Bitch said no though and didn't even tell me why. Not really that bothered about it though, she isn't really that hot"
>this was my attempt at damage control because it really hurt my self esteem in actuality
>he just walked away
>thought it was an odd encounter but didn't think in to it much
>I told my friend later that I asked her out and he told me that he was her current boyfriend
>fucking shat myself but laughed it off

>uni 1st year
>smoking area of nightclub
>with four other guys, one of whom I was good friends with, the other 3 I just know
>some girl comes out alone, tribal facepaint on (there was some event, can't remember) and tries bumming a cigarette by flirting
>2 of the guys are in relationships, the other two trying to look cool
>im drunk so I don't give a shit
>give her the rest of mine
>the other guys go inside, I stay out chatting to her
>she keeps flirting with me and I completely miss it every time
>she gets more touchy, still don't notice
>as we're heading in, she tries to tell me something
>can't hear her over the music
>she's shouting in my ear, still can't hear
>give her my phone so she can type whatever it is
>writes "r u gay?"
>laugh and shake my head
>she proceeds to shove her tongue down my throat
>probably the messiest make out session I can remember
That, along with a few other situations, really makes me question the amount of times I've missed girls trying to fuck me

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>be me
>14 years old
> relentlessly bullied by a Blonde Chad with long hair
> Bullied verbally and physically
> He has a girlfriend whom is a Stacy who is also blonde
> Fucking perfect together
> One day after lunch time I figure I've had enough of Chad's shit
> Walk up behind Chad wearing a thick leather jacket
> looks thinner than usual
> probably best time to beat his ass if he's weaker than he usually would be
> hit Chad's face
> feelsgood.jpg
> FeelsGoodOnMyKnuckles.jpg ?
> his face felt pretty soft
> OH MY GOD ANON WHY DID YOU HIT STACY
> Stacy?
> I look at chad
> I look at Stacy*
> feelsbad.png
> I hear loud footsteps behind me
> ANON YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I'LL SKIN YOU
> oh fuck
> single punch to my face
> down on the ground crying
> am the human embodiment of the term betafag
> kicks me in the stomache
> I can't cry more than I already am
> I run away from school
> I didn't go back to school for a week or so

I don' know how I didn't shoot that school up

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>>693115052
Anon, let's have a seat and discuss your problems.

>>693115052
>"omg, did you hear about anon?"
>"he punched stacy last week for no reason!"
>"what the fuck? stacy is like the nicest girl in the world!"
>"i know! i'm just glad i don't have any classes with that freak"
>"you said it, I don't want to be around him when he goes full columbine"

>>693113875
No, you Fucking them is hard to believe. Beta faggot

>>693115727
That makes the fact that I did it so much more satisfying.
You don't have to believe it my friend, it's okay :^).

Me21Yearsold.jpg
>Was at party
>Bros passed out
>Saw another lonly guy
>Me being Brony when it was new and hip
>Sat down beside him whit the icebreaker
"Hey have you heard about those fags who watch My Little Pony? "
>He had not
>Explained what it was
HopingForShockValue.mpeg
>Showed my My Little Pony wallet as i told him i was a Brony
>He just looked at me then walked away without saying anything
> standing there with my wallet, FML
LearnedMyLesson.dox
>Been a closetbrony ever since

>>693116061
You are the scum of the earth.
Maybe I could forgive bronies if it was objectively a good show but it's truly fucking awful, children's drivel.

>>693116061
What did you expect?

>>693116397
I know a really good show if you want to learn how to love and tolerate, so you can work on your atitude a bit.
Post your facebook so i can invite you to the herd!

>>693116657
>having a Facebook account
You must be joking

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>>693112487
mfw she was waiting for you to make a move, you fucking idiot.

>>693107168
Hahahhaahhahahahahahaha

>>693107099
don't feel bad about this. you were 13 and just saw your first pair of "tits". sure you may have been a little artistic but who cares? im painfully shy and probably mildly autistic but that doesn't mean you cant have friends. people can and will enjoy your company.

>>693116061
Kys

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>>693107099
>be me
>8th grade
>get grillfriend
>only ever hit 1st base
>so wat
>feelsgoodman.gif
>3 month into it grill fumps me for shamu the killer whales fatter gsyer father
>mfw...
>30 years old and married now
>physically incapable of feeling like that for another woman again
>tfw you know the best 3 months of your life ended 15 years ago
>mfw why the fuck am i even still here

>Be me
>Everyone walks the dinosaur.
>didn't know what to do.

>>693117182
>people can and will enjoy your company.
Pls we all haning on /b/, no one enjoys our company

>Be me, 21
>At orientation for university
>A stop on our list was a cafeteria that served several hundred people at once.
>I don't eat around people, nor did I even want to go in.
>I went in anyway, too autistic to protest before I was ushered in.
>Stood alone near entrance blankly staring for about 15 minutes.
>Finally make my way near the exit, stand there another 15 minutes.
>Finally ask guide if I can fuck off back to the main tour building to await next part of orientation.
I want to die.

>>693114645
Pretty fucking awesome anon, nice job

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> first job after high school
> manufacturing job
> notice cute redhead. Loner. 6/10
> I'd lost a lot of weight and my confidence had gone up
> spoken to her several times so I'm not a complete sperg
> Friday near end of shift
> walk up to her, super awkward
>others are looking but its too loud for them to hear
> I-I like you femanon and would like to get to know you better. Want to go out this weekend?
> She looks down and away. Chews her lip.
> Blurts out - Sorry I have a girlfriend...
> die inside
> mfw I just asked out a lesbian
> laugh it off nervously
> N-no worries. Thats cool
> turn 360 and walk away
> make b-line for exit
> get stopped by boss on way out.
> Reminds me I volunteered for overtime
> spend next 4 hours replaying scene in my head

Never spoke to her again. They closed the plant 8 months later. Still think about my freckled lesbian...

>>693118193
Everyone's been in similar situations, awkwardness is like the #1 human weakness.

>Be me, 22
>About a year ago
>Need to make a run into Walmart
>Employees are out collecting carts in the parking lot
>Ay mang, how's your day going?
>In my head: "My day's fine, how about yours?"
>Blurt "BOUT" like some backwoods autist
>Power walk away with the adrenaline rush of dumbassery

Still haven't gone back

>>693117706
>>30 years old and married now
>>physically incapable of feeling like that for another woman again
>>tfw you know the best 3 months of your life ended 15 years ago
It was 100% in your fucking head, you overgrown child.
What a fucking tool you are.

>>693115052
I still can't believe you hit Stacy bro

>>693118861
Similar result for me, but my friends and I just laughed it off
>At gaming club with uni friends
>Playing some random board game awaiting the return to friend's dorm to get stupid drunk
>Have seen an ok girl, a bit overweight but cute in the face
>Had a couple of nice conversations with her, not complete social failure
>Friends encourage me to ask her out
>Ask out quietly as she's at a table with her friends
>Icandothis.jpg
>She replies, "Um, I'm gay..."
>Try to save situation
>"Oh, sorry,I didn't know! Never mind!"
>Return to friends as she tells hers what happened
>Uproarious laughter from my table, me joining in because honestly it was pretty funny
>Had a couple of chats with her after, not awkward, but eventually stopped going to gaming club due to uni and jobs

Hopefully I handled it ok, I'm usually quite good at laughing these things off.

>>693118193
Haha what tha fuck.

>>693118193
fuck you reminded me of one
>insecure as fuck so a bit of a class clown
>at a uni open day
>student guide taking us round
>tells us about all the fun societies we can join
>put my hand up and ask if we can make just any society
>he says yes cautiously, asks me what sort i was thinking
>me, being so funny, go "could i make like a drinking society" a bit cocky
>he pauses and says 'I guess'
>no one in the group laughs
>Realise i just came off as an ultra-tryhard
>don't talk to anyone in the group for the rest of the day

I never knew frogs were like us humans.

>>693107099
>be 10 yo nerdy little bitch
>kid named Jacob with buck teeth is clearly a fucking faggot
>Jacob always is up Lucas' asshole
>ask Jacob if he's gay in a derogatory tone
>he tells teacher
>I cry in front of whole class because I think I'm going to be in deep shit with my parents
>kid says "chill out man it's not a big deal"
>I, still crying, say "you don't understand!!"
>mfw I was the faggot not Jacob
>mfw I cringe thinking about this story
>mfw Jacob came out of the closet like 8 years later

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>>693119360
> having friends

REEEEEEEE! I forgot this wasn't /r9k/

>Be me, 17
>Be in 5th year of secondary school
>Hot grill that I like is put in my class because she didn't like her subjects or whatever the fuck
>Friends know I like her, always hassle me to ask her out
>Eventually decide I might not actually shit my pants if I talk to her
>See her by herself outside the school one day
>Friends egg me on
>Go up to her
>"Hey anon"
>Oh fuck she knows my name
>Stare at her in silence
>She gets awkward
>Sorry out and kind of half run away back to my friends
>Walk home and they never let me forget it
>Mfw

Did go out with her in college for 3 years, we still laughed about it.

>be me
>going through revolving door
>it's barely big enough for two people at a time
>guy in front of me is a fucking fatass
>I crash into him and door several times
>security guard inside looking at me like I'm a retard
>people snickering
>I actually save it by saying "well that was almost really embarrassing"

>be me
>13, in 8th grade
>in some prissy ass private school my parents forced me into
> everyone in the grade has all classes together cause it's so small
>this grill is the only hot girl in our class
>nonchalantly hang around her for over a year, not hanging with my freinds
>talk with her some more, really like her
> I find out she has a boyfriend
>I thought I was hot shit, I think I was like 7/10 then
> I ask to see a picture of him
> this fucking ginger with a bowl cut ~6 inches taller than her
That was the story of how I got cucked by a ginger

>be me 10 years old in the 6th grade
>I'd skipped a grade and I was already short so no grills liked me
>In middle school we had passes to go to the bathroom
>be in history class
>sittin next to crush, 8/10, older and taller
>cue spagetti flying out of all my pockets
>realize I have to pee so bad
>AlreadyUsedMyPass.png
>fuck what i do
>decide to wait until class is over then run to the potty
>start squirming bc my piss is ready to shoot out my dick like a fire hose
>"what's wrong anon" asks crush
>"heh... n-nothing.. just learning"
>FUCK I HAVE TO PEE
>basically jumping in my seat but I have to act cool around crush
>teach says "alright let's watch a video"
>it goes dark
>Whyisthissolong.jpg
>"anon you're sweating are you sure you're okay?" asks crush
>cant even speak
>start to feel the piss like hot oil creep into my dick
>FUCKME.png
>it's too late
>piss shoots out soaking all the spagetti
>pants dripping
>smells like piss everywhere
>crush looks at me "anon... did you just...?"
>start crying "I'm s-sorry"
>run out of class and never speak about it again
>mfw i peed my pants in front of my crush

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>>693115052

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>>693115052

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>>693115052
please be real

More stories!

>be me
>10
>parents fighting, they do that a lot
>sitting on the couch in the living room, there in the kitchen, right next to me
>things are getting heated
>mom is accusing dad of cheating or some shit
look over into kitchen
>i jokingly say
"can ya blame him"
>i have a shit eating grin on my face, but it fades right away
>parents stare at me
>give out a nervous "he he"
>speed walk to my room
>lock door
>stay in room for the rest of the day

>>693121346
another one from the same school
>scrawny ass Jew in my class
>he is the second shortest, but the shortest is a fucking alpha who does like 3 sports
>this is after the ginger story
>I've become cool the grill, let's call her A
>the kike-cuck I'll call him by his real name Benny, if you're here benny eat shit
> benny hangs out with the group of girls every day, all of the boys joke that they wonder if he actually has a dick
>this 6/10 grill K likes him for some reason
>asks him out
>they're going to different high schools
>benny is a total grammar nazi, which is ironic because he's a jew
>offhandedly call him the language police one day
>activatejewrage.webm
>he hates me for that
>I did karate for 4-5 years though, and he knows it, so he knows I could kick his ass
>now this grill K sees something in him, no clue what it is
>the day, I kid you not the very DAY we get out of school he texts me nonstop about how much of a bitch I am and how he's better than me cause he got himself a grill
>I play it off, he's a a theoretical corner
>he keeps bringing up A and how I must have been crying when I found out she had a BF
>dumbass didn't even know I wasn't even sad
>he thinks I was trying to hit on his 6/10 GF before she was his GF
>moron
>he turns K into his minion, brainwashes her into being exactly like him
>get a GF within first month of HS
>he broke up with K after they started
>he hasn't had a GF since, 5 years later

>7th grade fat acne extreme social anxiety hit me like a train of trucks
>sharpening pencil manually with sharpener on wall
>i guess it looks like im jacking off since the sharpener is mounted at about groin level since im tall
>hot chick with friends sitting behind me at a table says "yeah get it anon!'
>i turn around and make one of my insane autist faces
>they laugh some more
not too bad 've done worse. she was niceish to me on a couple occasions which i appreciate, it's nice that what she did in this scenario wasn't the kind of malicious bullying i was used to.

>>693115052
>stacy's mom
xd

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>>693123828
>wasn't the kind of malicious bullying i was used to.
Cest la vie anon, its high school.

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Fuck, this one still pains me to this day.
>be me, 5th grade
>I'm sort of a beta, but have a comfy pocket of friends, and known as a class clown
>there's this cute strawberry blonde girl who I like, and also likes me
>other kids like her too, but she doesn't like them
>her name was Amanda, a solid 7/10
>known her since 3rd grade, I text with her and her friend all the time, but too beta to talk to her in person
Before you call me an underage fag, this was 10 years ago before smartphones were a thing.
>finally decide to ask her out soon
>later find out that my mother is switching my school, since my brother got in trouble for something he didn't do
>the school i was at was far away from home, and I would probably go to a different middleschool from everyone else as a result
I was fucking mad, this meant that everyone I got to know over the years I would not see again for years
>switch schools one month before the year ends
>make some friends, but not nearly as much as I had before
fast forward to middleschool
>starting 6th grade, beginning to get out of touch with Amanda
>start growing increasingly beta now that I have very few friends and limited social interaction
>start playing lots of vidya and going on new website called Youtube in my freetime, since i dont hang out with anyone anymore
>become increasingly depressed and regretful that I never got to ask her out
>the rest of middleschool was dull and I hardly ever spent time with friends
This isn't nearly the worst part...

>>693123507
Fucking win

>>693107168
Never played poker, not sure exactly what the fail is here

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>>693115052
Bitch had it coming

>>693107168
rofl
you fucking beta

Here's a sad one for me.
>Must have been 11 or so
>In changing rooms after P.E. class
>Goofing around with friends
>Friend says "Haha anon, you just showed your dick, I'm gonna tell on you!"
>Somehow too stupid to catch the obvious joke
>Back in class
>Apologise to classroom assistant immediately
>"For what, anon?"
>ohshitnigger
>"You mean he didn't... nevermind"
>Quickly sit back down
>Hope no-one says anything
>The joker give me this disapproving look, like wtf r u doing
>Mega-bitch teacher catches wind of this
>Confronted by two angry/ concerned women towering over me
>Nearly crying
>Tell them what I thought happened
>"How does that happen by accident???"
>Megacunt teacher doesn't believe my excuse
>Forced me to stand in a room with older kids who have to sit awkwardly at their computers while I cry and write lines
>I need to piss so bad
>For fuck's sake not now
>Hold in until my bladder burns
>Piss all down my leg
>Thank fuck they were gone by then
>Run to bathroom and mercifully piss properly, clean up the leakage
>Fuck off home asap, not bothering to find teacher as she already left classroom

Still hate that fucking bitch for this and other reasons. Glad everyone else hated her too.

why is this fucking thread still not dead

>>693126124
Because you touch yourself at night

>>693118861
>turn 360 and walk straight back into her

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Continued...
>be me in Freshman year of highschool
>most of the school year is more of the same as middleschool
>never liked anybody like I liked Amanda, never had a girlfriend
>we've been friends on Facebook for a while
>notice a massive change in the way she dresses, she starts going through puberty and grows luscious titties
>she became alot more pretty as well, doesn't have a kiddie face anymore
>goes from a 7/10 to an easy 9/10
>she starts dyeing her hair different colors, but none of that emo shit
>starts listening to those annoying poser bands like Avenged Sevenfold and smoking weed
>always hangs out with this kid who is literally gay, and happens to share the same first name as me; he smokes weed with her
>she has become quite popular, and has over 2,000 friends on Facebook
>this makes me a whole lot more sad that I never had the chance to hit that
>whatever.jpg
Oh, I forgot to mention that over the years, she had called me a few times but I had been too beta to pick up the phone and talk. I know, I was a pathetic mess.

This is where things get worse.
>Amanda is homeschooled, until one day she shows up in my fucking home room.
Yes, she decides to start going to a public school in the middle of the year, which happens to be my school, and she happens to share my homeroom
>what the fuck, some would say this is fate
>so she walks in the classroom, looks around and stares at me straight in the eye, then takes a seat across the room
>holy shit, she is even more gorgeous in person
>feeling pretty shocked, don't know what to do
if I wasn't so fucking beta, I would have at least hit her up via text, but I just couldn't.
>she gives me a call about a week after she shows up, probably just to say hi or something
>i watch the phone ring and stop, conflicted on whether to answer or not
>this happens two more times during the school year, and I never get around to talking to her in person either
Continuing...

>>693121413
Know how I know you're gay?
You used the word potty.

>>693127005
Yes I'm listening continue

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Fuck, forgot to link the two together: >>693124779
>>693127005

Continued/final part:

>the last time when she calls I notice barely in time, phone is always on silent
>miss her call, but i call her back and it goes straight to voicemail
>she returned to homeschooling after Freshman year and throughout highschool years
>never calls me again, and I notice that she posts ambiguous shit on facebook about never wanting to talk to a specific person again
>fuck my life, i fucked everything up. This girl of my dreams I will never get to know again because I was such a fucking idiot.

Yep, now I'm 21 and still haven't had a girl. Alcohol numbs the pain.

Sorry if this was terribly written (I know it was), this is my first time greentexting.

>>693127594
Anon call her

>>693127594
It's not too late if you call her now what's the worse that could happen?

>>693127859
It's been 7 or so years since I last saw her, and we didn't exactly leave on a happy note. I don't even know if she has the same number, what can I do?

>Be me, 10th grade, 6/10, haven't ever dated a girl
>I was kind of cringy autistic but played football and was kind of good so no one really bullied me.
>Friends were all actual autists; furries, bronies, nintendofags and weeaboos (I'm only a weeaboo)
>There's this one actually autistic 4/10 girl who sits in on one of our classes
>Messed up eyes, a little overweight, and actually cannot do any schoolwork whatsoever
>Clearly has a crush on me and always tries to hang out with my band of autists
>One day my friends convince me that it'd be hilarious if I asked her out and fucked her, just to be able to say I wasn't a virgin
>Fall into peer pressure and ask her out, she starts crying while I do it and all of my friends are laughing at us
>About a month in I decide that I should probably be fucking her so we go to her apartment when her single alcoholic mom isn't home
>Start touching her boobs and she's moaning, decide to try and put on the condom
>Full autism kicks in and I can't manage to put in on, tard girl is just looking pissed off as fuck
>Starting punching the shit out of me, throws off my pants, and rides me
>Immediately after I finish I run into the bathroom and start puking, she's just laughing in the background at me
>Too autistic to break up with her so this type of thing kept on going for almost a year

Eventually I had enough visible bruises that my mom thought I was getting beat up at school. She forced me to tell the police what happened and I had to fucking say in front of my own mother and the cops that my retarded girlfriend had been beating and raping me for about a year. She ended up going to some mental hospital and I haven't seen her since. Still glad she never got pregnant and none of my friends found out.

>>693128260
Facebook? maybe some of your old friends or even try that old number.

Don't end up like me I lost the girl I thought was perfect because I let my chance slip through my fingers. You can still do it!

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>be 16
>supposed to have a party in the forest fire sousages and shit
>drink one bottle of vodka with two other guys
>drunk as fuck but wanted more
>bought and drunk second bottle
>two girls came for party
>after 5 minutes my friend passed out
>we sat on him and laugh how weak his head is
>my second friend passed out
>before that he was pissing and pissed on a girl
>she was mad as fuck so went home with second girl
>my friends are unconsous and vomiting with yellow vomit
>one of them is choking with vomit
>put them in safe position
>one lays 100m away from other so i must run and check if he is still breathing
>hours passed and they are still unconsous
>it is middle of the night
>i am standing alone with two pissed guys drunk unconsous
>rain starts to fall
>i unzip my pants and start to jerk off in the middle of the field
>i was so drunk that without knowing it i jerked off for two hours
shit... sorry for poor english i am not native

>>693127594
Call her and tell her you were always just too nervous to pick up the phone and that you're sorry if you offended her.

>>693107168

Did you save Pepe with the same title 44 times??

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>>693110816
No you didn't

>>693128883
What kind of fucking story was that ? Kek

>8 years old
>parents friends have 2 daughters mine and brothers age
>they dare her to "pretend you ate Chocolat with anon" like the movie
>she's crawling towards me like a sexy loli
>back up, crab walk backwards
>keep crawling at me
>keep backing up like a retard scared
>still crab walking
>she gets close
>I get up. Knee her in the face
>she starts crying with a bloody nose
>run out the door
>eat an apple in the kitchen for 30 minutes

>>693128713
I don't know. I guess I have nothing to lose, but I'm so shit at conversation when it comes to people I'm not close to. Plus I think she would be mad that I'm only talking to her now after so many years. I think I'm just better off living a pathetic life of regret.

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>>693116657
Go watch parks and rec like a normal person you fucking bitch

i have a fucking good one,(im norwegian so my english isnt that good). I was maybe 12 or something and i decided to make a fake facebook profile with the pictures of little caprice. Start pranking this asian dude who keeps asking for nudes. just find some nude pics of her on google and send it to him. Some days later i talk about it during class with my group. My teacher overhears (i wasnt aware). Some weeks later its a parents meeting and my teacher says to my parents that she is worried about me because i send nude pics to older men on the internet

>>693129644
Anon fuck yourself okay don't be a worthless person. What'd you got to lose m8? Maybe this is fate like you thought when she entered your homeroom give it a try

>>693116061
>.dox
Wtf anon

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> be 15
> get horny
> look up iron giant porn on phone
> faping then came
> use jacket to clean cum
> remember that I'm on a train

>>693123119
Alpha as shit

Does it still count as the mile high club if a woman walks in on you jacking off in an airplane bathroom?

>>693129894
I just can't, I'm so fucking retarded. I'll consider it over the next few days, but I'm telling you it's impossible for me.

>>693115052
>Grinch-In-Ski-Mask.jpg

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>>693107099
>>693107168
Is this you OP?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I-sFhCC39Ws

>>693127594
Anon you should call her and apolegise u was susch a beta because u never dared to talk to her!

>>693128268
this is the most pathetic shit i ever read, you clearly were an 3/10 at best

>>693107099
Yer a bitch waffle

>>693127594
I feel for both of you... Find her family, you'll find her... Clear up this sadistic mess. Good luck!

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>Be me in freshman year of highschool
>it's school pride day: freshman wear white shirts, sophmores wear green shirts, juniors wear yellow shirts, seniors wear black shirts.
>there is a school tradition that seniors bring sharpies and mark as many freshman shirts as they can
>underclassmen do it too, and freshman end up having sharpie wars
>fast forward to lunchtime, many freshman are marked with battle wounds
>cooler kids tend to get marked more, because they specifically get targeted
>I have a small group of friends, meaning that I have like 3 friends, and everyone sort of ignores me
>I'm sitting alone at a lunch table near a bunch of chads who are all marked a ton
>I surprisingly have alot of marks because I'm 6'1 tall and a large target
>one of the chads sneer at me and say "So, anon. Did you get your mom to mark your shirt for you?"
>I am taken by surprise, and think of a spicy comeback that I can use.
>in the moment I come up with "No, I got yours to do it for me"
>it comes out as "N-no, I got y-your mom to"
>chad and his entire group of friends laugh out loud

I don't see what went wrong