>>692794609
she had a feminine penis so it wasn't gay

I wanked once

The warning at the start told me she was of age so I'm not a pedo

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life

>>692794609
I am not smart

>>692794609
no

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>>692795542

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>>692795542

>>692794609
I went on a summer camp and pretended to be sick to get out. Good enough, OP?

>>692794746
>she
>penis
>not gay

Nice meme

>>692794609
I jerked off everyday from 8 to 19

haha

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my bf is away for whole summer and I already sucked off 2 cocks. Though I do not count this as cheating because I was kinda drunk both times and its just an oral sex with guys ill never meet again nor I intend to

>>692796581
>sucked off 2 cocks
>don't consider this cheating

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Just collecting STDs for him as a welcome home gift, slut?

i fantasized about cumming inside that nun while i listened to her screams of protest

>>692796829

there was no penetration so im fine. Though I wont do that again, not that it makes me feel bad but just to test my self how strong can I be

>>692797092
You just tested everyone else how much of a slut you can be.

Kill yourself.

i lost my virginity at 13 to my 16 year old boyfriend. im still with him.

>>692796581
you're a bad person

>>692797092
fucking whore

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>>692796309

>>692797092
Okay,
A) You have no idea how STDs work, clearly.
B) If you have to "test" your ability to resist random cock from strangers, you are the literal definition of a "slut."

>>692797319
>>692797419
>>692797435

nerds kill yourselves i just made a confession you were supposed to comfort me

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>>692794609
I smeared my feces onto a church when I was a teen

>>692797319
>>692797435
>>692796829

>>Implying humans are monogamous

>>692797524
Please see >>692796179

>>692797092
>guys pretending to be gurls

>>692797677
I don't have to. You implied your relationship was when you said you don't consider your acts "cheating." You already took it out of the context of human nature by defining your relationship and your thurst for cum.

>>692794609
i masturbate to loli. im not a pedo

>>692796581
Your bf is probably filling his boots while he's away so I don't blame you

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>>692797845

>anon pretending to be smart

>>692797524
not gonna comfort a 50 cent slut

>>692794609

i feel no guilt about pissing in the shower

>>692797887
>>Implying I'm the girl and not another person

>>692794609
When making mashed potatoes I throw in a microwaved mashed turnip as well and mix it in.

>>692794609
i once pushed her head down while i came

>>692797993
Or just pointing out the fucking obvious.

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>>692798128

>>692797993
If believing what he says turns you on. Go ahead and stroke it cuck faggot

>>692798116
>implying its a girl to begin with

Sex was never defined. Learn what "implying" means, before you start using it again.

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>>692794609
>Confess.
I confess that I want to rape and torture her for real. I don't even care that she's like 50.

>>692798240
>>692798293

youre such a faggots i literally rage right now. what does it matter girl or not.

>>692794609
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost four years, and I occasionally wonder what it would be like to be with another woman...
That may be too much for /b...

>>692798405
It doesn't. That's my damn point. Reading comprehension would benefit you greatly. You were the one who implied it was a "girl", no one else made that assumption.

>>692794609
So...is she just going to be raped by zombie mountain forever, or what?

>>692798552
And it was you that woke up this morning and decided to be a fucking faggot.

Im a born and raised mormon who served a full two year mission all the while hopelessly addicted to beastaphilic porn and fantasize about fucking a horse and have attempted it a time or two. Offences to get me excommunicated, and i still go to chirch every week and smile at every member i see all the while knowing there is no way im not going to hell

>>692798573
Pretty sure all undead have limp dicks for eternity. It comes with the job description.

I've always wanted to find the love that would save me from hatred of people, but it actually had to come from me

Been using my SILs panties to jerk-off for 2 years now

>>692796581
was them people who does not know your bf and never will do?

>>692798648
Omg no, you called me a faggot because you lost the argument! Touché!

>>692798888
Quads, Motherfucker!

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>>692798888
oh god quads

>>692798986

yes, probably

>>692796581
does your bf agree with that no cheating rule? beacuse "cheating" is an empty word, it musts be fullfilled with the previous agreement to give it a full meaning.
btw i don't judge anyone that cheats. every people that can cheat, cheats sometimes. maybe rarely, but it simply happens

>>692799485
Well tbh, I don't feel that much guilt. I mean, last fall he did give Jake from the lacrosse team a cheeky blowie when they were both wasted after a party but I forgave him as he told me right after it happened

>>692799207
then it might be a bad behaviour. simply imagine the reverse situation and how you would react. take it for the future: i'm not saying that you can't cheat, but at least if you want to do it, try to do it with people that can't connect with your relationship, it's a basic form of respect. growing up i learnt to do it

>>692796581
You gotta be an idiot slut
Why drag him through your slut experience blind?
Why be in a relationship you don't even respect?
Real questions.
Would you be okay with hot girls sucking him off?
Also kinda drunk is bullshit.. i have been shit faced and still know what I'm doing. I never blew a guy while drunk.lol

>>692798791
Meh. He's got fists.

I would have had her tied to a breeding bench in the kennels and fucked by dogs.

>>692799735
it's not about feeling guilty, if you do it better enjoy it and then forget it.
i'm just saying that if someone feels that he wants to try something new, it's more sane to talk about it. intelligent people can afford that, always better than start telling lies and lies

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Boom. Hitch slap!

>>692797506
>soul
sole

fuck

i pay my girlfriend's 15 year old cousin for massages like at a parlor
when we first started i wore shorts under the towel but now i don't wear anything under and when she gets to my legs she always makes sure I'm taken care of

and my girl doesn't know

>>692800794
nice

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>>692794609

>>692795542
Stand By Me anyone?

barf-o-rama

>>692798429
same boat dude, same boat

>>692796581
SHAME

i killed the neighbours cat

>>692794609
I have a boner when i poo

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>>692796581

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>>692804090
Those dubs

>>692804989
?

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i'm a very naughty boy

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Last place I worked, any shoes left in the office overnight by female coworkers got filled with cum.

Got hard again when I saw them wearing those cum-infused heels.

I hate my girlfriend

>>692795542
I'm starting to like this kid

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>>692794609
I'll confess you.

>>692805432
Being a creep must be lonely. Sad really.

I dont like how cold I am with people but I dont know how to fix myself

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>>692806938
No, it's a lot of fun, actually. Appreciate your concern.

>>692806699

Yeah!

CONFESS HER HARD!

>>692800794
lies. You pay her for a shoulder rub and rub one out in the bathroom faggot

>>692807544
Fuck off

>>692806699
those double dubs suggest her pussy's gonna be flapping in the breeze forever.

>>692794609
I'm pretty sure I'm bi but I have a fear of being in a relationship with a girl because my first one was such a disaster when it ended.
>Fear of falling in love an heart break
You are correct. I'm a guy btw.
I also feel like I'm surrounded by nothing but old people and I feel like I've had something stolen from me by not being surrounded by youth. Where do young people hang out in a small town? I'm so lonely.

>>692798672
Thanks for being honest.. what would happen if you told your church?

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>>692807764

Oh?

How about no!

>>692800794
How old are you?

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>>692807284
Have you ever had the balls to tell a woman about your activities? I'm guessing no, but I'd love to see her reaction and watch you shrink.

One time I pissed in a girls lemonade so she could have a little bit if me inside her.

>>692807781
double 69 you know what that means. Hes gonna eat her pussy while he rips her head of with his cock

>>692806980
Start by killing yourself and going to hell.

>>692808276
Do you think the drink would've tasted like piss?

>>692808276
>a bit if me inside her

>>692799735

Cheeky blowie?

This isn't fucking Nandos

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>>692808164
>if you had the balls blah blah blah
>i'd love to see her
>watch you

I kissed a girl once and liked it.

my boyfriend wants kids someday and i want a tubal ligation or even a hysterectomy. i fucking hate kids and would rather gouge my eyes out than be pregnant ever.

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>>692809057
>lonely creep does something lame

>thinks he's dark and mysterious

>actually just a sad fuck that girls avoid like the plague.

I cheated on my gf with my hot cousin

>>692800273
>drunk.lol
Never saw that file extension. What's it for?

>>692809707
you seem upset. did a guy cum in your shoes?

>>692809974
For the lolz

I just came out of the closet but I can't tell my parents because they are crazy Muslims and will probably mercy kill me

I'm also being forced to fast because they found out that I wasn't fasting, they beat the shit out of me

>>692810205
Sounds like your family is worshiping a false god.
I'm gonna need you to bring them to the light.

>>692810066
No, I just think you're garbage, those women don't deserve to be treated that way, and if you weren't such a coward you'd try out your creepy fetish in the light of day to share its awesomeness with everyone. Where do you live?

>>692810631
yes they do. now go away.

>>692810631
Not him, but I think you're a dumb ass. Who the fuck cares? It's not like they even know that there's cum on their hundred dollar work shoes. nobody is dying from it. Who the hell would give a damn.

>>692797506

>soul
ugh that hurt me bad

>>692794609
I had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

>>692794609
i once attempted to start a forest fire by burning down a hay bale shack which was next to a forest

>>692811627
Did it work?

>>692797966
Yes you are.

>>692798041
Why would you? It's one of the best feelings IMO.

>>692810914
>>692810868

Would these ladies recognize themselves if I posted this on Facebook? Or do they not use it?

>>692811445
Pfft, that's nothing. I once had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of sexual gratification.

>>692812872
Still not that fellow, but who cares. Didn't hurt when they put the shoe on, didn't hurt when the photo was snapped, It may hurt when someone posts it on Facebook, but I'd call that person the asshole.

>>692812277
a bit of the forest started burning, but didn't spread successfully since it was kinda wet and the trees weren't growing tightly enough close to the shack, i was kinda surprised how fast the shack started burning though, i only set fire on one hay bale a little bit

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>>692812872
No answer bad-asses?

>>692812872
Do you run a Facebook creeps page? Link?

>>692807873
>that last part
Same shit here man. I'm 21 with zero friends and still living at home. Ive made a little progress but ive honestly given up on actually enjoying company my own age. Also,
>Fuck my family for being such needy dipshit losers
There, I said it.

I look at naked pictures of women, and play with my penis.

>>692813795
You filthy Goddamn animal...

>>692813612
I stopped hanging out with a few of my friends because they were such cheap shits. Every time we'd hang out they'd always ask for money because they spent all their money on shitty weed.

>>692810631
7/10

sure is summerfag up here. Troll harder.

>>692797092
No wonder we have a rampant STD problem! Most STDs can be transferred to oral if there is genital contact. Did you know you can have throat gonorrhea?

>>692813312
Its funny how sad fucks stick together.

Are there any women around you? Ask one what she'd think if that fat creepy loser that she works with jacks off into an expensive piece of her clothing at night without her knowledge. Do it. Even better ask a female loved one, a mother, a sister. Then make sure you tell them how funny you think it is.

>>692813564
Nope, but I like the idea.

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>>692795542
Holy fuck, now that's a blast from the past.

>>692814472
Damn, that has popcorn potential.

>>692796581
>I do not count this as cheating
kek. This is cheating, girl.

>>692797092
You're an awful human being

>>692814352
I too am ready to make a stand against clothing rape.

>>692795542
Eric Cartman?

>>692796179
i like this meme

>>692810631
Not sure if bait or huge fagot.

>>692815281
I know women who would love to use this information and get this douchebag fired.

>>692816292
Not bait.

i confess i put my dick in postbox

Fine I sucked my own dick once

>>692816819
Doesn't it hurt your spine?

>>692796581
Definitely cheating. Shame!

>>692816979
No not really

I stole these dubs.

>>692798041
Pfft, I do it all the time.

i think im in love with a long time friend, i dont know for sure, she is a 10/10 way out of my kissles virgin ass league,i hate the feeling and i want it to stop

>>692794609
21 m
never fucked a girl or made out really, just had a slight kiss once

do have bonding issues

get mental break down when I see guys picking up girls because I can never do this in my life

am going to kill myself soon tm

I confess we're going to raid and that you should join, faggot.

>>692815341

>>692817602
>do have bonding issues

Welcome to the club friend.

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I've masturbated three times in the last 18 hours or so, and all three times I was fantasizing that I was the one being fucked, by a dominant male. And one of those three times it was an anthro-horse fucking me, in the body of a human woman.

How does a gay furry masturbator atone for his sins?

>pic related, its what I was jerking off to.

>>692794609
I did finger that 11 yo without permission but only because she didnt complain

>>692794609
You look like you got in a fight with a curtain and lost.

>>692794609
the way she died is the most safe/disney le bad guys get revenge from good guys meme shit ever

why did they start suddenly making game of thrones into super lame shit?

>>692817834
thanks, where can I sign out?

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I get doubles and hold the door

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>>692796581
10/10 troll
>flawless victory

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>>692818144

>>692804799
Hook, line and sink er

>>692814842
Beta white Knight faggot taking the bait

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>>692818144

HOLD THE DOOR!

>>692796581
>onship was when you said you don't consider your acts "cheating." You already took it out of the context of human nature by defining your relationship and your thurst for cum.
Don't worry

>>692818141
I don't like the club scene I think it's better to try and meet people in more personal places but I don't where that is really. It takes building trust over longer periods of time.

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t-thanks

>>692809453
talk with him about that and if he isnt agree with you live him

I like torturing my cock and balls more than I like fucking my wife.

>>692797092
Let me tell you something funny.

Your slut ass is gonna get dumped and then you're gonna end up with someone like me one day; a coke dealer who gets off his face paranoid and enjoys kicking the fuck into every girlfriend. My girl cheated on me she got her ribs broke. Peace out bitch see you soon X

You'll never get it out of me!

>>692797506
Fishing with a sickle?

My depression came back recently. Last time this happened I was pretty much useless for two years. I'm terrified it will last longer.

>>692819116
Just get your wife to do if for you.

>>692797092
>no penetration

The cocks penetrated your mouth, didn't they?

>>692819397
savage

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>>692819161
Can i get a four pack please?

>>692794609
I fucked up.

>>692819381

She's done it a few times but she's not that into it. She's super vanilla. She knows I do it on my own...

She (probably) doesn't know I do it for cute girls on omegle, though.

>>692794609
You're a faggot. There i confessed now gfy faggot.

>>692819161
Best response I seen all day, faggot

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>>692796581
All of these idiots responding to this obvious bait LOL.

>>692796581
Literal faggot

>>692794609
I already confessed a few days ago. I'm 28 and I have sex with a 13 year old.

>>692796829
Kek so true though. Happened to my friend. She fucked some black dude and she got HPV

>>692819720
Whatever keeps your relationship together man. Try and get her to be less vanilla.

>>692820180
That's illegal, you know

>>692795542
Do the truffle shuffle

>>692794609
I think I've raped a chick 10 years ago when I
was 15. I mean she was pretty drunk and unconscious.
So me and 2 friends thought hey why not.

I jaywalked yesterday

>>692820454
That's degenerate.

>>692797092
I really hope this is bait.

Kill yourself if not.

>>692794609
I just pooped.

>>692820403
Oh really? Thank you.

>>692807284
I feel you /b/ro

>>692797092

because everyone knows that STDs cannot be contracted from oral sex

>>692811445
You son of a bitch.

>>692810066
Dubs dubs, accept the truth

>>692820180
how did you made it?
tips maybe?

Girlfriend shares an apartment with two other girls. Everything I stay over, I jerk off into a random hygiene product. Shampoo, bodywash, face wash, even fucking vagisil. I get off on the idea that every girl there is covered with my semen all the time.

>>692794609
I have had pre marital sex with two qomen, nearly 600 times in totally and completely crushed their self confidence in the process

I used to regularly cheat on my girlfriend talking to kik sluts and sending nudes every day, have two cellphones, but I've never had anything with anyone irl, I still love her and talk to her every day, broke up with her yesterday, dunno if it was the right move, but I sure as hell wish I could see her more, can't dedicate enough time to her because i'm all day on the internet, masturbating or studying for college shit.

>>692820569
The funny thing about it was, that happened at a
house party and I knew her.
So after we've done what we did I stole her bra.
And like a month later I've met that chick again
and she told me that franco, some italian guy ,
stole her bra that day.

>>692814352
I have a gf and I still enjoy creeping bruh Im not sure if you are baiting but if you aren't just relax man.
It's just a fetish, you can either accept it or suffer the rest if your miserable life by being angry about a simple fetish.