stand silently and avoid eye contact

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pretend to text people

Call 911 and get help from the firefighters

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Disregard that inferior female and instead court Taylor Swift. Failing that, I'd probably end my life rather than be stuck in a room with a taco-smelling 12-year-old.

>>681609868
Fart in her face then cunt punch her until she falls over.

Try to contact help

take creepshots

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Beat the shit out of her and escape by pulling the fire alarm and exiting though the roof hatch

>>681609868
So no one else would try to have sex with her?

Post on /b/ about it

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>>681610111
CHECK
EM
FAGGOTS

does this ever end ?

>>681609868
Duh, I would OBVIOUSLY use the help phone to contact the building manager to get us unstuck. Also fart uncontrollably....

Worship her like the goddess that she is until we both die.

Stand there quietly and cough while letting out a long silent fart

>>681609868
Fap to Taylor Swift

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>>681610200
W

E

W

>>681610252
It would last all night.

>>681609868
Pretend I'm just playing a game on my phone, but secretly I'm rubbing my dick on her butt.

I don't know. Probably talk to her. I don't give a fuck about celebrities.

>>681610032
Taylor's a dude.

ask if i can smell her

>>681609868
she only deserves it in the butt

I would take her pants down, start licking her pussy, spank her butt, and fuck her, but she'd be totally okay with it so don't worry it wouldn't be rape.

>>681609868
tell her i would be totally fine if she took advantage of the situation

>>681610398
and? She might be a dude, but's she's still better looking than that Semena Gopher chick.

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>>681610545

>>681610545
She's a chipmunk not a gopher. Get it right and maybe I'm into chipmunks.

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>>681609868
I'd be really polite to her, if I had water I'd offer her a drink.
Make conversation with her until the problem was resolved.
Then go home and furiously masturbate over pictures of her while thinking about how hard I'd fuck her.

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>>681609868
ask her why she wants to have asian hair so bad. it literally looks awful on her

>>681610707
I'm sure if Selena is lurking on this thread right now she appreciates your post.

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>>681610291

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Let's turn this into a Selena picture thread!

>>681609868
check to see if there is a phone and if there is use it to call for help and tell them to hurry up before i get bored and rape her to make them hurry up
try not to look directly at her
and try to look for a way out
like looking up to see if there is a hatch or maybe ask her if she has anything that i could use as a wedge to help me pry the doors open

basically try everything i can think of to escape and if i fail
just give up completely and wait to die

I'd ask her to flash me and if she does I'd take a picture of her nude and sell it for money.

>>681610111
I was thinking something similar, but I was dragging her out behind me. Nobody would ever figure out where she went man.

>>681609868
Once help was coming, sit down and have a conversation about what she wants to do and what she enjoys.

>>681611326
She enjoys sex. She went to rehab for a sex addiction not too long ago.

>>681609868
without making eye contact, call my friends on my phone and start talking really loud

YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO I'M STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR WITH

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>>681610978

Hug her and tell her I love you while squeezing Her ass

Just stand there

>>681610032
Poor girl really looks like a trap. So unfortunate.

Try to act cool and hope she doesn't interact with me in any way.

>>681611428
*Citation needed

>>681610032
This anon knows what's up.

>>681611910
ON THE EDGE

>>681612139
http://www.theimproper.com/99058/selena-gomez-rehab-stint-sex-addiction/

>>681609930
Ignore all posts in this thread except for this one. Because that's all you beta fucks would do should this actually happen.

>>681612325
Yeah you're probably right.

>>681612206
OF THE CRATER

>>681610350
Same, but everyone calls me an edgelord because of it... That Bruce Jenner faggot walked into my restaurant not long ago, and nobody would let the cunt eat so he left. Good riddance.

>>681609868
If that were to ever happened, I would actually rape her. Like, I would never want to rape anyone. But the opportunity of just fucking her in a trapped elevator, her not being able to go anywhere, yeah, I'd would definitely rape her. After, I'll just go to the roof of the building and kill myself.

>>681612325
is that bad?

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Lucky motherfucker.

same thing I'd do if I was stuck with any other woman (after using the service phone). just sit down opposite her, strike up a conversation to pass time while we wait to be let out. probably drop some jokes. at least one about how it's gonna end up getting hot in here and if she needs to lose a layer or two of clothing I'm fine with it. maybe at the end of it we'd get a friendship out of it, or just go separate ways.

>>681612489
*Caitlyn

>>681612700
No dumbass. You'd get a ugly glare after you dropped that cringry "ya know you could take some clothes off to get comfortable" line on her.

I would come and get it.

her bodyguard would probably be in the elevator with her

>>681613091
Even better we could double penetrate her.

>>681612979
and if you were in there you'd stand awkwardly while sweat dripped down your ass. faggot

>>681613152
Probably

>>681609868
Chat with her. She knows me, so it'd be whatever.

I'd probably sit there, silently, playing on my phone, and when I accidentally hit the white tile, I will get pissed and throw my phone at her and start reeing, chunks coming out of my butthole, yellow stains in the front of my pants, I'd roll on the floor and continue to ree, screaming for mommy and tendies, i will strip down to the nude and start beating her with my knee caps as I continue to piss all over her.

>>681613462
She only knows you because she had to get a restraining order on you. Wait... why are you in the elevator with her in the first place? YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T GO WITHIN ONE HUNDRED FEET!

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>>681613462

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>>681613776

>>681613893
Me either nigga.

>>681613650
I posted in a thread a few days ago about chatting with her a few times. We had lunch together in Montreaux the last time I saw her. She's really sweet, actually, as long as you aren't a creep to her.

>>681612700
>>681612979
>>681613152
>>681613419

just establish a rapport first. women want dick and are just as filthy minded as most guys. you just have to get past that initial defense and don't be persistent about it. just drop a hint to put it in her mind. then move on without hesitation don't even wait for a response make it seem like you aren't even interested that way. it's an easy way to make them want to prove themselves to you. head games are a bitch but once you learn the basics you can get away with more

Hey you're that sheila from the TV.

Then stand in silence until the doors open.

>>681614061
Post proof. A pic with you and Selena.

>>681614202
Didn't take pics. Sorry. Just believe this guy if you want. >>681613662 It doesn't really matter to me.

>>681614402
If I was with Selena I'd definitely take a pic with her. How often does anyone get a chance to be next to Selena Gomez?

>>681614501
same here

>>681614622
So really this guy >>681614402 is full of shit.

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I like her because Selena Gomez has an internet porn addiction just like me.

>>681614854
Love her so much

>>681612581
This video seems to be broken. Every time I click it it closes.

>>681614501
>>681614729

It was the third time I'd chatted with her. The first time I didn't know it was her (just somebody at the hotel pool) and the second time (when I found out who she is) JB saw us talking and became a jealous chimp. The third time was a couple years later and I was with my wife. Not sure what else I can tell you, but it's cool if you don't believe me.

>>681609868
I'm a professional cowboy and I use catheters. Been cowboyin' for 25 years. I've had 14 broken bones, 2 concussions and a punctured lung. I know pain and I don't want any more of it. Especially when I cath.

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Ask her to perform a scene from my favourite show, Wizards of Waverly Place.

>>681615070
She'd probably be too lazy to do a scene. Alex was a lazy bitch.

Lick her feets

>>681615002
How rich are you?

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>>681615070
Ask her if I could tickle her feet.

>>681609930
This. And not just because
>muh beta male
shit but because she doesn't do a thing for me anyway.

I would rub the lotion on its skin.

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>>681609868
>oh my god is that Selena Gomez?
>I should ask for an autograph or something
>but what if it's not really Selena Gomez that would be super awkward I don't know what I would do
>is it rude to stop celebrities just going about their business and ask them to sign shit for you?
>they probably get that all the time, might be kind of a dick move
>Question is, would I rather be the guy who bothers Selena Gomez in an elevator, or the guy who passed by the opportunity to talk to Selena Gomez?
>Alright, this will haunt me if I don't do anything, I'm just gonna say something
DING.
Selena Gomez walks off the elevator.

That's what would happen to all of us and you fuckers know it.

>>681615070
You could reenact the "hey Russo wanna smooch?" scene with her. It'd set up a kiss with her.

>>681609868
Send her back to mexico

>>681609868
Make small talk.
I'm not entirely sure who she is

>>681609868
Make fun of her lupus

Sit awkwardly, waiting for help to arrive. I was on my way up to the bathroom to take a juicy shit, I sneeze, and as I do so, I let it all out in my pants. Shit. I make eye contact with her, and she has the most disgusted look on her face. "It wasn't me."
>There's nobody else in the elevator other than us

>>681615451
She's from Grand Prairie, Texas not Mexico. Douche.

>>681609868
Mention that I went to HS with her drummer and to pass along my congrats on his success.

>>681609868
half way mutter something stupid
>welcome to the elevator
try not to fart
>i will be your captin this evening
be disappointed i don't work out more
then not say anything else the rest of the ride while i wonder if i smell bad
tell everyone on 4chan i fucked selena gomez right in her little ewok pussy

>>681615296
Not at all, honestly. The first two times were within a few days in LA (Hotel pool, then at a farmer's market a few blocks down from the hotel). The third time, in Montreaux during the Jazz festival, was just a fluke. I was in Geneva for work and wanted to take my wife to the Jazz Fest because she likes jazz. We were heading to a little Italian restaurant a few streets up from the lake and saw her crossing the street. She recognised me right away.

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>>681615490
>Make fun of her lupus
Its not lupus!

>>681615606
I just looked to make sure he's still her drummer...he is not

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>>681615808
kek'd

>>681615779
nigger you have said this same story three days in a row
are you really fucking dumb enough to start believing the shit you say?
your so fucking weird
<also last time u were her age and you didn't have a wife>

>>681616063
>bait

>>681616181
i don't think you know what bait is

>>681609868
Attempt a normal conversation before she goes into bitch mode

>>681610032
>that trap
no wonder she is so popular here

I would probably fart from anxiety, then freak out and piss myself.

>>681616467
I'm certain that three of the things you said are untrue:

>three days in a row
Posted once a few days ago

>Was her age
Said nothing either time about my age. I've got a good 10-15 years on her

>didn't have a wife
Nope.

I'm guessing someone took my story a few days ago and tried to play it off as their own.

Either you're retarded or this is
>bait

Which is it, faggot?

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>>681609930
>>681615325
agree with these guys

she looks like taylor lautner to me. she got that llama face. if it was like, sophia bush or scarlett johansson though..

Nothing, ideally spoon though

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>>681616795
it was the second comment, the one that said i dont think you know what bait is. thanks for proving my point and jumpin on that for me : )
wish i cared enough to keep you going

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Hit her initially with negs, and then use NLP on her and weasel words, accelerate the kino escalation, then get digits and a kiss close.

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>>681617086

>>681617086
kill yourself

>>681617065
Damn, I'm speechless with how stupid your responses are. I'm really, honestly flabbergasted with both your level of idiodicy and the fact that I'm still responding to you. This is good bait, anon.

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>>681610111
>>681610200
>>681610488
>>681611433
>>681612422
>>681612477
>>681612700
>>681614622
>>681614866
>>681614900
>>681615222
>>681615399
>>681616733
>>681616777
>>681616999
C H E C K E D

>>681615779
I know this to be possible, if unlikely, because I know several young actresses also (some of whom know Selena). They can be normal and chatty when away from the glare of the spotlight. So in OP's situation I would chat with Selena about our mutual acquaintances. She seems to be pretty normal, except for the Justin Bieber warp. I'd would ask her what the fuck she saw in him - or maybe I wouldn't want to hear the answer to that one.

>>681615316
How does he still get away with it

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>>681610111
>>681610200

Would you just look at those repeating digits?

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>>681618233
Woops, I looked at em the wrong way, but just look at em! I got some repeaters too! Would ya just look at em? I'll tell ya, I saw some dubs one time and I said "would ya just look at those dubs?" and then ya know what I did? I had a good look at 'em!

>>681609868
Nothing that would make the police wait for me once the elevator opens. That bitch ain't worth it.

>Winter
>Late night
>Just leaving 9th floor after looking over company contract
>Step in elevator
>Elevator desends 2 floors then stops, opening its doors
>Selena is standing there in business attire
>Black pencil skirt, blouse, small black overcoat
>Recognise her
>Smile and nod in greeting
>She smiles back and steps in
>Thoughts rush through my head as I begin to sweat somewhat
>"Is that Selena...? No, it can't be...."
>Leans foreward slightly to see her face more clearly
>She notices and looks over at me
>I smile and nod again, this time more awkwardly and lean back
>She feints a smile back
>to self: "What the hell, it is her! How can, what? How even?!
>Sweats more
>We sit there in awkward silence
>Lights start flickering in the elevator
>I'm paying too much attention to her to notice
>She looks up at the flickering lights
>I notice her an follow suit
>Flickering stops
>we look at eachother and smile silently
>The lights go out

Continue...?

>>681610350
Totally agree

>>681619596
I have to know how many times you licked her asshole in the borken elevator.

>>681609868
Punch her in the dick

>I laugh lightly
>she mimics me, almost inaudibly
>me: "Probably just a loose wire, er, uh... of something..."
>her: "haha... yeah, I guess"
>to self: "I wonder if she would take a picture with me"
>lights come back on
>me: "tadaah..." I wave my hand magicakky about
>She giggles lightly
>to self "I shouldn't bother, will probably just look like a creep"
>The elevator abruptly stops, and all the lights go off
>We both stumble, but catch ourselves
>We look at each other a little wide eyed
>her: "we stopped."
>me:"yeeeeeaaah..."
>her: "Alright.... ummmm..."
>she pulls out her cellphone turns up the brightness, lightly illuminating the elevator in a cold blue glow
> me: "I think we're supposed, uhhh... to press this button"
>I point to the alarm button, waiting for her approval
>her: "Okay...."
> I nod, lean in, and press the button... and again... and again...
>nothing
>me: "uhhhh.... maybe it's a silent alarm...?"
>she makes her way around me and starts mashing the button over and over again, a concerned look, slowly creeping up her face.
>her: "no no no no no NO NO NO!"
>She startsfreaking out, hammering the elevator floor buttons with her fists.

Continue?

>>681621827
is there rape involved?

>>681623379
love is in the air

>>681612039
Thats like the best part of her

Ask if she wants to bang, if not, casually let her know Im calling for help, but the banging is still on the table if she changes her mind.

Then ask her what she likes best about shopping for shoes.

>>681623727
Faggot.

>I'm conflicted about touching her to calm her down
>convince myself she might hurt herself if she continues
>lightly grab her by her wrist that she was actively striking with, and rest my other hand against her upper arm
>to self: "She's so god damned warm and soft"
>rest my chest against her back
>me: "Calm down! calm down. calm down..."
>feel her rapid heartbeat flutter down slowly
>she was feebly struggling airtight me.
>my chin sits just above the top of her head
>her hair smells like fruit of some kind
>realise my hands are probably sweaty so i let go
>I move to her side and look over at her
>her face is red, though not sure if from anger or embarrassment
>I can feel that I'm visibly flustered
> me: "j-just calm... calm down"
>her breathing finally returned to normal
>took a deep breath
Me: "okay... You have a cellphone, right? We can just call someone...maybe?"
>she smiles at the thought and brings her cell up to her face
>her expression quickly falls back into sadness
>Her: "no service..."
>me: "Ahh... alright"
>pull out my cellphone
>dead
>remember I was playing pokemon before leaving home, must have not turned off the screen

Continue?

>>681623379
Making it up as I go, so maybe, though nothing crazy.

>>681610011
Winrar!

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>>681623919
type faster

>>681624086
using onscreen keyboard and making it up as I go.
Can't go much faster, friend.

>>681624188

keeping the thread bumped

I would ask for her autograph

>>681624188

come oooooon

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< 58 > She hurted me plenty. Time to pay her back /b/. This includes all her nude videos cause I love you guys. http://bty.link/361 Do note that I will remove it in a few minutes.

Chew on her pussy until I could taste her spic cervix

>>681609868

Press the alarm button and inform security that the elevator is stuck.

Rape. How is this even a question? What else could you possible do.

>look over at her hopeful face
>Me: "Guess I forgot to charge it... heh... heh"
>she begins to go into a rage again
>she frantically tries to press her fingers between the elevator doors
>nope
>She slams her arms against the doors, yelling out at the top of her lungs
>Her: "HELP! HELP! CAN SOMEONE HEAR US?! WE'RE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR! THE POWER'S DOWN! HELP!"
>I slumped don at the back of the elevator, loosening my necktie
> to self: "why, why is this happening!"
>she continues yelling with no end in sight
>i give up before even starting
>I clench my head in my hands
>to self: "First I find out commissions aren't included in my pension plan, For 10 years I've worked almost solely on commissions, and now this?!"
>i woefully accept the reality of my shitty existence
>it grows ever colder
>she continues hammering and yelling away, her vigor only increasing

Continue?

I'd probably tell her that Love You Like a Love Song is one of the most hilarious things I ever heard in a long time, and wish her the best of luck in all her future endeavors, because, let's face it, what else has she done lately besides shilling for hair care products? When's her next film? When's her next sitcom? Amirite?

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>>681625354
please

>in a single swift, strong movement, I twist her arm roughly behind her back, and push her down face first down on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>>681626489
yes

for more shitty, unfinished erotic shit, check out my archive of our own account: themorbidhobo

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>>681610816
first of all
>>>/tumblr/

secondly
>asian hair
nigger what
when have you seen an asian with hair that curly?