>>672064791
Say "I'm going to change my name to my bed"

Diamonds are fleeting, but a good rape is forever ;^)

I can show mlady my vast collection of fedora and katana if she so wishes, then we can have this date in your bed.

Be more certain with your words in general. Your tone is good but you're not coming across as confident enough because of your choice of phrasing.

>>672065052
roll

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>>672065077
fuck ye

>>672064791
How about we have double date ;)

what do you say we make it a double date?

Who is this bed you speak of? Do I have to kick his ass?

>>672064791
say "care to make it a three way?"

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>>672064940

>>672065088
This. Get rid of the passive tone it'll do wonders.

>>672065446
what a faggot

>>672065446
yes, which means that now we have a date. so, where to?

Yes really. Means i get to go on a date with you ;)

>>672065446
This is going no where dude. Next.

Yeah, either that or we have a threeway.. me, you, and bed. Your move.

>>672064791
>>672064791
all this cringe really isnt worth the possible sex.

>>672065673
Well would you at least explain to me why the fuck not?!

>>672065052
reroll

>>672065446
What kind of ice cream should I bring

>>672065446
Yeah you should see my drivers license, Muh bed f. Sleep. It's Eurasian with a tinge middle eastern.

>>672065670
Beta as fuck

>>672065870
this is how you get friend zoned

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send this

>>672066048
Ew

>>672066048
too straight forward.

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>>672065695

im really bad at small talk so i will be upfront you want to fuck tonight?

>>672065446

Let's stop with this small talk bullshit, when can I come over and fuck you raw dog?

>>672065446
if you are looking for a fuck buddy you need to be fairly straight up with intentions, dates will put her thinking you are serious. Humour and winding up at her place or yours is the way to go OP

>>672064791
Show me your tits or the wrath of Adolf Hitler and his gigadick is going to impregnate your unworthy body with a frog-pig hybrid you cunt.

You know you don't have to refrigerate mayo right?

>>672066044
>>672066100
wasted dubs, way to go fags

>>672066228
good move mate

>>672066471
Sorry :(

>>672066228

I'm going to come over and fuck your dad.

>>672066228
This Bed will destroy dat ass like a Palestinian village. Do you feel my power bby? Show me your bootyhole.

>>672066579
Rolll

>>672066579
Lol this

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>>672066471
dude, this thread is not a rollarino and cheese thread, its a general advice thread. bumping with tit slip

>>672066228
You don't need us anymore op, you've got this.
Good luck buddy

>>672066640
>>672066747
Samefag

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>>672066125
is this one less straight forward?

100% sure that if she answers that threesome bs she wants you to fuck her

is it okay if i bring my friends over? we all do the same when we get pussy. i guess you can call it a tradition

>>672066884
That would be crazy yet fun if it weren't for the fucking disgusting head

>>672066903
That's what I'm hoping for.

>>672066579
Roll

>>672066884

That is fucking revolting.

>>672066228
I'm going to get behind you and fuck you from behind so hard, and at the same time your bed is going to shove his cock down your throat until you're gagging.We're going to take turns pounding your pussy until I bust, the your bed is going to eat my cream pie right out of your pussy till you're clean. Also I wanna eat your asshole , i bet it's delicious

>>672066884
Dick pics in general are too straight forward. Unless she is a complete slut then she will find it disgusting. IMO dick pic gives you the worst odds of getting laid

I want you to shit on my dick, and then lick it off likes it's chocolate ice cream.

>>672066752
Ah. I seem to be in the wrong thread...

I'll just see myself out

>>672067200
Kek'd

How big is your bed btw ? I hope I don't fall down. Lol

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>>672066228
send this dickpick

Only if I can sleep top bunk

>>672067346
>Fucking genetics

To be honest I know I got off a little bit creepy, but I am going to be honest so we don't waste any time. I want to have sexual relations with you and I find you and your body very sexy. We can do it in the back of my car, and most importantly we can take it easy

Yes? No?

Op left?

>>672065052
Rolling for rapeman. That you grandad?

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>>672067346
what about this one?

>>672067346
"Beware the hooks" - Mr Krabs

>>672064791
'Rough day?'
Just get her talking about herself OP, bitches love talking about themselves.

If you actually are serious, here are some thoughts:
* Get a few much better openers. All chicks, and in particular hot chicks, get 2000 "hi" or "whats up" every day. Several girls have told me that you have to peak their interest form the start.
* A good opener also gives the chat some momentum. If you look at your convo you see she just answers in short sentences, showing no interest at all. I agree with the guy who said "next". The girl looks decent though, so you will get other matches
* If you notice you peak her interest, ask her out (or get her actual phone number) after like 4 messages. Girls don't want penpals either.
* Never ever write more than 2 messages without getting a reply. In fact, if you ever type 3 messages in a row without response, you should kill yourself.

^ If op finds any value in this I could go on..

>>672067610
this one will do. Send it OP!

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Send her this one OP

>>672067658
any example openers?

>>672067346
This one can hit the g spot like nobodies buissnes

Yes idk how to spell

>>672067494
*tips fedora*

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>>672067658
Not OP but lurking for the advice, go on...

>>672067960
Lmao

>>672066228
LOL

You're at least funny, if she get's it you should just play like you we're joking, and invite her another day...

You're funny, play it cool

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>>672067991
also lurking

op pussied out
like on the other thread

>>672065052
R O L L

>>672067658
pique, you dumb fuck.

>>672067765
My dick actually looks like that, soft.
Nice.

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>>672067658
Yes go on, I like your words

I got this girls Facebook, and talked to her for a few days, really peaked her interest when we started talking about cooking, she asked me to cook for her, then I made her laugh and said when are u free, and she said she is never free, like wtf? Can provide screen shots

>>672068212
disgusting

>>672064940
good one!

Now you made me curious, since OP bailed post screenshot

>>672068232
go ahead.

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>>672068170

>>672068422
Dont answer

>>672068422
She just took a long time to reply, I didn't bail, niggers

>>672068422
Woah thats a clear next I guess

>>672068422
Don't answer

>>672067823
English is not my language, so I don|t really have copypasta for you. I have like 5-6 proven openers that I can tweak based on the chick. For example just earlier today I matched with a qt (10 years younger than me!). And went with "Sweet, matched with an angel right before midnight". It should be obvious youre dicking around, but not be classic pickup line everyone has heard before.

If the chick is around my own age I might say something like "Whoa, tinder has milfs now?". If you can see something in their pics you can spin to a joke (without it being so obvious she has heard it 100 times before..) then go for it.

Another one (that I blatantly stole someplace) is something along the lines of "I've been swiping for days, my thumb is but bones and blood, but finally I found you".

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>>672068422
kek

>>672067823
Jokes are fun, Not him but thats what I usually do. It lightens the mood a bit for me at least so its not so tense. Besides, its not like im socially retarded. I talk to anyone I see just to get opinions on something or hear their voice and get a reaction out of them. If they get boring I just move on, such as replying with "Yeah" or anything along the lines of a dull response. It doesn't bother me, I mean sure the could have been nervous but its not like its my issue. I just talk to talk basically, would recommend you do it just to develope some sort of social skills. Its not the random person walking by you is going to remember you saying a few words to them, and if they do its not like they will see you ever again unless you want them to.

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Go in for the Kill, OP

>>672068559
I like that idea... Makes me seem more dominant

>>672068232
>she said she is never free
ask if she's affordable then

you retard, what made you think saying you guys were going to home depot would make her interested in tagging along. that had potential till then

>>672068611
I have a pretty dark taste in humor, am I fucked?

>>672068826
Why would you tell anyone you're going to home depot

>>672068826
I never meant to hang out with her tonight

"Oh cmon, don't tell me you didn't even giggle at that one!"

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>>672068784
Kek

>>672068983
She asked what I'm doing

And that's literally what I'm doing

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>>672068784
LOL

>>672068847
don't try to make people like you, you'll look like a try hard and no one will.

people with a taste in dark humor will like your humor

>>672068847
Not really actually, unless they are a prude people generally find dark humor to be funny. Mostly men though, but there are a few women out there who enjoy it. Give an example?

>>672069074
Wow. You think this game is about telling the truth?

>>672068422

"i could probably make you more comfortable than your bed too ;)" (winky face optional)

>>672069074
you could have said anything in the world, anything, OP.

>about to go shooting
>kicking some kids asses at video games
>having a circle jerk

But no, you went to Home fucking Depot.

Guys, before it gets too late to reply,

I'm just gonna say: "Down? I drive."

Sound good?

Home Depot? Mind as well said Bed Bath and Beyond. Tell her if her bed doesn't work out you'll take her out

>>672069289
Go for it

>>672069289
fuck it why not. there's like a 5% chance. she seems pretty not interested with that hmm reply but what have you got to lose?

>>672069009
could have MADE plans nigga
>>672069074
well you never reply literally what you're doing if it's boring or doesn't move the convo.

just think back to middle school "hey wyd" "nmu" "nm" remember that horse shit?

>>672069289
Do not reply to "hmm". Repeat: do not reply.

>>672069219
Damn that's so true...

What should I be doing then?

>>672068422
"PLEASE RESPOND" dubs proves

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>>672069274
>>kicking some kids asses at video games

This dude is so virgin he thinks this is a better line...

>>672064791
Forget your bed, how about a date with me, I'm just like your bed, you can lay on me. ;) ;) ;)

>>672069405
5 bucks on how she'll say "No thanks"

One more post from me. The reason I bother typing this is that Tinder was a dramatic increase in my quality of life, and I feel like a lot of you could be in the same boat. For me I was running a startup business and working around the clock, so I never met any girls. Then tinder came and I just got so much from there, and it was really fun,

I have a bunch of screenshots of my tindergame but it is all in Norwegian so it will be useless to 99% here.

Anyway, the last tip I wanted to give was that you should be confident enough to joke around with yourself (while also teasing her ofcourse). I work in IT and some chick will tell me about her great job travelling or some shit. I will just go "I slave infront of a computer all day and all I got was virginity and cheetosdust" or something. This is really, really effective when done right (in my experience).

>>672066048
Don't send her that. Hairy piece of shit looks like something from an arminian mans asshole.

>>672069405
>>672069397
>>672069447

Should I not reply?

Or how can I give her other options? Like hang out first, instead of straight fucking

I can probably work it to fucking from hanging out

>>672069605
plz post anon for if I go to Norway to hit up beautiful Norwegian girls

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>>672069600
i'll take that bet and wager she says she's too tired tonight.

oh and checked

>>672067642
Top Kek

>>672069799
also checked m'good sir

>>672069763
Nah mate it's now or never don't try and salvage it. wasting your time. either reply or don't. but if you do, go balls deep

>>672069763
Fucking move on m8, its over. You lost the game. Anything you do at this point will reflect off of your boring ass responses in the first place.

Grr now I have to write one more post. Please disregard any cunt that tells you to use ";)"
Don't do that, it reeks of desperation.

>>672069763
Invite her next week for something...

Anything like "I'm going to XYZ to do ZYX, wanna tag along?"

>>672069799
Nice dub!

>>672069763
You can reply, but just don't expect anything from it. Hmm is a giveaway that she is 99% not interested. On the other hand, ABC.

>>672066324
this guy knows what's up

>>672064791
You talk too much, fucking beta newbie. Her messages are always 1 line and yours are so long that casual nigger couldnt manage to read it all at once

>>672069763
wait a day or so and then retry. just ask her casually f she wants to meet you and your buddies at x bar

>>672069763
Dont you fucking dear reply to hmm you cringe beta faggot. She is fucking testing you here

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>>672069953
>>672069937

fuck you niggers I will try and salvage it... I feel like you guys are misreading her.

Some poeple text short replies you know... Not everyone types paragraphs, and it seems that, that's her style

>>672070293
I second this

rekt for sure

>>672070512
should've just asked for netflix & chill.
great pickup meme.

>>672070512
You just dug yourself a hole..

>>672070512
now you look desperate

>>672070512
You fucking loser

>eating chips and drinking pop, just watching the thread

>>672070512
you ruined it.

>>672070293
Nah, we are seniors in high school. no bitch knows or does that shit, I assume

Congratulations you played yourself.

>>672070512
wtf are you doing? uh-uh-uh i can come get you. uhuhuh please. uhuh. orr maybe uhuh stfu

ya done goofed

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>>672070293
>>672070537
can you poon lords explain this to me? its like you think there is a code to every girl

>>672070512
and it's over. nothing to see here folks. RIP OP

>>672070762
u have got to be pranking me

>>672070512
RUINED

>>672070512
Desperate move.. you lost her

You took one of my messages and now just ruined it. You're beta as fuck

>>672064791
I don't get matches... Shall I feel bad about it?

>>672070854
Yeah these guys are pretty narrowminded, but still they are nice people for helping me

>>672066884
>>672067346
>>672067512
>>672067610
>>672067765
why is it that you guys have these pictures?

To make this shit work you need to literally convince yourself that you are a fucking big dick player and you don't give a flying shit about whether she gets your dick or not. Have a sense of humor but also stop
seemig like you give a shit. Try losing your phone in the middle of your exchange with her. It's like when you are being dominant with a girl, you occasionally wait a long time to give it to her, and then do it-- you need to show her you are in control and not her.

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HAHAHAHAHAH BETA MAAALLLEEE

He's using a dating app he can't be more desperate. Also it was a nice start.

OP IS GOING APESHIT
ABORT! ABORT!

>>672071005
Because its 2016

>>672071005
Probs coz they're fucking gay.

OP is the king of beta faggots everywhere. GJ OP.

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>>672071100
>THE CURRENT YEAR

>>672070512
You went too far man.

Don't seem desperate.

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>>672070512
Wow I can't believe I actually fell for trying to help this troll :/

100% and for SURE you must be joking "I'll even ditch my friends for you :)" ???? ??? ???

NO.

Screenshot is a recent example (again, its in norwegian sorry)

>>672071071
Thanks

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>>672070973
nah man, dont worry about it. theres a certain crowd on tinder. ive had plenty of luck elsewhere and never once got a match on tinder. tinder is more for really REALLY shallow people.

>>672071064
This guy knows what he's talking about. Ya'll are replying immediately while she is clearly doing other shit. Then you came on too fast.

>>672068782
a mix between that and the horrible "soon 404" feeling...

"hmm" is way better than "haha" though.

>>672070512
You're waaay to upfront you should've waited for a proper reply. Wait for her to say something that deserves an answer. You fucking faggot

>>672071262
kanker taal

>>672070512
CAN'T BELIEVE THIS VIRGIN SAID IT

>I'll ditch my friends for you...

I lost my time with a human being that don't deserve any respect...

>>672071308
Try tindering in a small town in the middle of nowhere.

The two girls that do show up are fat women from the same office as you. The rest are 25 year old bots that supposedly all went to Harvard or New York University.

Fuck.

>>672071262
go away you norwegian idiot. lmao you think you matter here

>>672070512
>ill even ditch my friends for you :)

this faggots trolling, shows over.

>>672064791
>I have a date with my bed

Translation: "GTFO".

>>672071452
ja lol en wat een kankerslechte troll van OP. Snel weg voor de shitstorm uitbreekt wanneer de andrere mongolen erachter komen

>>672071452
Haha its norwegian not Dutch.

>>672071437
Good advice thanks,

Hmm didn't even deserve a response.

And to the people saying I'm desperate, I just dont give a fuck and want to be straight up, while seeming sweet for "ditching my friends for her" with that stupid smiley face that made me cringe when I tyyped it

>>672071662
Kanker weten jullie wel hoe laat het is, beter gaan jullie naar bed stelletje kankerlijers

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Dit is nu een kankerdraad

>>672071617
Nah I'm not trolling

>>672070512
U want me to wear something special? A penguin suit? I can do that! U want me to smell like your childhood pet?

>>672071349
not really.

>>672070512
OP confirmed kissles VIRGIN FAGGOT

>>672071732
>>672071732
>Hmm didn't even deserve a response.
hmm wasn't even a response

next time wait for an actual response to your question

ditching your friends for someone isn't sweet, it makes you look like an asshole

>>672071596
yeah not worth it imo. i deleted all my dating apps. ive found some real connections, not only girls but actual friends, the old fashion (as far as internet is concerned) way. good luck to you, mang, that sounds rough. small town bro here.

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>>672070512
nigga...

>>672071262
hvordan er den der relevant, med tanke på språk?

>>672071830
then you are officially a beta faggot, congrats.

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>>672065928
pic related

>>672066048
Faggot

>>672071767
Hou je kankermuil, kinderprikker.

>>672071948
imo you are confirmed, not OP. get rekt ya shit.

>>672071767
Werkloze hier, 3 dagen geleden WW uitkering aangevraagd, krijg nu 1200/mnd om in bed te fappen.

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>>672071829

>>672069605
Men bra for den siste prosenten!

>>672071005
Asking the right question

>>672069542
Implying it isn't any better than going to Home depot

>>672071732
god you're fucking stupid. don't try to play it off like you dont give a fuck, because the desperation was palpable in your texts.

>>672064791
"need a third wheel?"

>>672067658
Pique. Pique. Not peak. Christ.

>>672071732
Dumbass.. by telling her you would ditch your friends you said you aren't reliable or trustworthy.

You wasted all of our time saying you wanted advice and ignoring it. Enjoy fapping with your tears tonight

>>672069249
Winky faces are for faggots

>>672072109
Gegroet, medeparasiet! Leuk he, Nederland verkankeren.

bruh i gotta piss ill brb

>>672071732
it doesnt make you look sweet, it makes you look like a desperate faggot. a man wouldnt ditch his friends for a bitch, and the fact that you would doesnt make you more attractive, retard. in fact its probably the opposite because now she knows youre desperate. this is tinder dipshit, youre not trying to get into a long term relationship with this cut, youre trying to get fucked. and being "sweet" isnt going to help that you fucking beta cuck.

>>672072141
kanker

>>672071005
LOL this guy fucking wins.

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>>672070512
> :)

>>672070512
No matter the hate you better fucking update us you fucking nigger. I'm too involved now

>>672072207
Guy, fuck you

Yes, I'm horny, but I'm not desperate, I just want to be straight forward with that I am gonna do, and get to the point already

To the OP (again) if you are not actually trolling consider this: do you think a woman considers it attractive if you ditch your friends/responsibilities for a (miniscule, at this point) chance of clapping dem cheeks?

>>672071979
En eller annen lenger opp ba meg poste noe..

>>672071262
Post flere!

>>672071262

Urelavnat big time

>>672068570
Oh my god this is some fucking grade-A vagina-drying advice.

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>>672072411

>>672072320
Niet echt, kom amper rond. Volgende week hopelijk een nieuwe baan

hey i want to fuck
kay bye

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>>672072479
Currently no reply

I am debating to say something, like "fuck what I said before, I ruined the conversation, but do you want to fuck?"

What if she's a virgin too -_-

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>>672072668

>>672072553
You're an idiot

>>672072574
It's just that I never thought of it that way, I am young and don't have much experience

>>672072668
this, a thousand times this lol

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>>672072867
Nobody can be this big a virgin and be here

>>672072783
Wat zit je dan op te scheppen, lul?

>>672072867

Sometimes the horse is simply dead, on the other hand it cannot mind beating beaten then

>>672072961
I'm just unexperienced

>>672072867
you gotta be trolling at this point....

>>672072867
I know people have given you a lot of shit in this thread OP, but I am being entirely serious and genuine here. DO NOT TEXT HER AGAIN UNLESS SHE TEXTS YOU FIRST. There is nothing salvageable here. Anything more you send her is just digging yourself in deeper. Move on and find another match.

>>672071262
Haru mer?

>>672072981
You burned that bridge boy. Lesson learned, move on to the next one

>>672073061
Jaloers omdat ik dit land niet verkanker?

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>>672072158
Ble jo bare grining fra de andre betahannene.. Her prøver man lære noen å fiske, og dette er takken :-(

>>672073020
Yo guy

I just feel like she would reply later on and she's just being a little bitch cause she's shy and barely an adult

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Bijna weekend jongens.

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>>672072867
At this point don't reply. Anything you say now will make you look too desperate. Best plan is to wait for a (very unlikely) response. Doing nothing in this situation is gonna be better than anything you could say.
JUST LEAVE IT.

>>672072867
>spaghettiing more, contemplating on whether shes a virgin or not (shes not)

the few doubts i had left are gone. youre trolling goodbye, faggot.

>>672073219
You are a fucking nigger. Fuck you for calling my mother a fat cunt.

>>672073125
And too fucking dumb to listen. Stop trying to defend yourself, stfu, and go away

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>>672073310

>>672073196
Ok I won't text her, fuck she had some sexy IG pics tho

>>672073196
good job bro, i think we got this. we're gonna get this troll laid for sure.

>>672072867
Honestly, move on. Find another match. There are times where you have to cut your losses and this is one of those.

>>672070512
Jesus christ I knew this was gonna go real bad. What a fucking idiot for even asking /b/ for advice kek

>>672073457
post her IG!

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>>672073214
Joa..

>>672073407
Fuck you

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>>672070512
its over

>>672073261
Takk! Beste åpningsreplikk?

>>672073593
Haha dette er gull da. Keep going

>>672072867
lol stop fucking with me, my man