>>674437537
>be 4
>mom runs preschool
>two neighbor girls stay an hour or so after school
>start playing doctor
>start playing house
>each girl takes turns being the mom and the kid
>figure out that my dick goes in their pussy
>continues till I'm 8
>sunday school teacher starts talking about how sex is evil
>tell girls we can't play house any more
>stupid fucking idea
>both turned out hot as fuck
>could have been fucking them both til I left for college

>be 13
>riding bike on a rail with lots of gravel
>see an rock that looks like a natural ramp
>speed up and get some good air
>land on gravel and skid out
>go down hard
>bottom of my chin goes across another rock sticking slightly out of the trail and leaves a huge gash
>get up and don't notice wound right away until my white shirt starts staining crimson
>stick finger into wound and feel bone
>plug my chin wound with my shirt
>start freaking out and leave bike on the trail and walk to a nearby house
>old lady answers the door and i ask if i can use her phone to call parents
>she denies but then i pull my shirt out of chin hole and she freaks the fuck out and lets me in
>call parents
>dad is more concerned about the bike that i left behind
>mom comes and takes me to hospital and i get stiches
>

>Be me 10 year old Sandnigger
>Playing with this white kid after school in the snow
>I find huge piece of ice >
>thinking.jpg
>I chuck it at white kids face
>Lulz ensue
>Kid is knocked out cold
>See pool of blood
>I fucking bolt
>I see white kids sister show up and start freaking out
>Kid goes to hospital
>I hit him and so hard he completely forgot who hit him in the face
>He comes back a week later
>We are still friends to this day

>>674439953
kek

>>674439953
The Men in black should start using your memory wipe tech. Has got to be much cheaper than those flashing cigars.

>>674440633
10 year old me would've loved that.

>>674437537
ur mum

>>674438073
>dick goes in their pussy

ok bud, must've been a huge stiffy you were rocking

>>674441337
checked

> Be 8 get a umbrella
> Climb onto the garage roof
> I jump off think the umbrella
> will work like a parachute.
> It didn't, so I got a 32 gal garbage bag
> Climbed garage roof again.
> That didn't work either.

>be 12
>Halloween is fast approaching
>decide I'll be Frankenstien's Monster
>dad decides to help by gluing about an extra foot of wood to my old shoes to give me more height
>a wrong turn will literally destroy my ankles
>Halloween night
>got a thick rubber mask on and super shoes
>can't see shit and can barely walk but fuck it candy is pouring in cause my costume rocks
>after about 30 houses my candy bag is getting really heavy and making me offbalance
>31st house has stairs
>fuck
>make it up the steps and get candy
>turn around fast and candy bag swings infront of me and i lose balance
>face dive down the stairs and get knocked out for 10 minutes
>wake up and all my candy is gone
>can't get up and can't breathe in my mask
>had to wait for someone to help me up and i went home sans candy and bruised ankles and face

>>674439953
you asshole, I knew it was you this whole time

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>be me 6th grade.
>didnt know what a boner was.
>gymclassoneday.jpg
>in locker room.
>announce to whole locker room i have a boner
>niggayouwat.gif
>tfw kids are asking if your gay.

>>674437537
>Touching each others dick, did it with people till my 14th. Not gay toh

>be me
>around kindergarten age
>play with a cash register in kindergarten
>wild thought appears in my mind
>i should cut the wire
>genius.jpeg
>grab scissors
>cut the wire
>sparks shower from the wire
>didn't get any injuries
>the whole building blacked out though

>>674437537
Great thread

>be 10
>a couple friends and I are riding bikes
>too cool to ride around in the neighborhood so we ride the main roads
>we start hardcore trying to BMX and race, you know gay little kid shit
>friend takes a yu-gi-oh card and places it on his back tire rim where it sounds like a motorcycle
>we all do the same riding around like Harley faggots
>approach this hill and decide to race down
>friends take off before me and I'm flying down trying to catch up
>all you can hear is the ripping motor sound of the card against the rim
>suddenly look over to my left and there's a funeral going on in the distance
>realize we where probably disrupting and I stopped mid road to keep from making sound
>I see people looking at me mid crying while some others are wailing
>awkwardly yell 'sorry' in panic
>no one responds
>absent-mindedly yell 'it'll be okay' for some reason
>ride away with bike brrrrrr-ing the whole way

>>674439200
You're Dad seems to be a Asshole

>>674442562
It'll be okay

Kek

>>674442559
>while building gone black
That can't be right

>>674442562

It'll be okay. +1

>>674442562
Not entirely sure if this is stupid, especially by today's standards..

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>Be me 5th grade
>This program comes to our school called "DARE"
>talks about how drugs are evil etc
>one day get to school and I see a cigarette on the ground
>turn to my friends
>"Hey guys I'm gonna get cancer"
>I put it in my mouth
>middle if the playground
>start showing kids how "edgy" I was
>teacher sees
>fuckmylife.jpg
>go to principals office
>get suspended for 3 days

>be 7
>go to a friends place to trade pogs
>enter through glass sliding door
>didn't hear him close it
>try to leave through glass sliding door
>smash it with my face

>>674437537

>be me age 7
>have friends katie and tisha
>show them my weiner
>get scared, go home and tell my mom
>get in trouble
>katie and tish's dad looks at me funny

Another story about that same family:

>be walking Budweiser, the dad's black lab in the canyon
>with my buddy stevie broadway
>get genius idea to pee on Budweiser
>do it
>realize I have no way to explain pee dog, so I give stevie all the change in my pocket to take the blame
>get away clean aw yeah

>

>be me
>be 8
>be really into the idea of making things from plywood
>be a little unsupervised for a few hours after school
>decide to make a small table so my checkers game is second to none
>hammer, nails, hand saw... it's beautiful.
>oshit, needs to be blue
>climb on top of things in garage
>reach top shelf full of spraypaint in all the colors of the rainbow
>yes. metallic blue.
>climb back down, take checkers table to side of house
>spray that table blue, motherfucker
>grandparents come home
>"wtf did you do?"
>what, nothing, why?
>stood downwind of spraypaint. am now metallic smurf.

>>674443615
I just look back at that moment and cringe so hard idk why.

>be at school
>5th grade
>my class has a retarded kid called Timmy
>As part of the Every Child is Special movement we were forced to include him in our recess games
>we are playing tag
>he's it and we all scatter
>i look behind me as i run and see a glimmer of thought in his eyes
>tard powers activate
>he targets me and tears ass across the field
>tackles me and i go down hard
>he puts his hand over my mouth and nose and i can't breathe
>out of desperation i bite the palm of his hand
>it tastes like cheetos and baby powder
>he lets out an apelike screech and runs to the nearest teacher
>i get in trouble for his actions
>fuck Every Child is Special

Ｇ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｌ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｉ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｔ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｃ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｈ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧ｒ⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧⃧
what color are these sqaures?

>>674445246
The color of faggotry

>>674445246
Kool Air color

>>674445246
Nigger color

>>674444850
It's probably because you empathized with them ,
It's one of the many fleets positive interactions we used to have with the world
I actually think it was a very decent thing to do, with sincerity.

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>>674443677
lol, i remember DARE, they had some fuck-face puppet called DOSO the Dolphin{at least at my school} I could barely hold my laughter the entire time.

>>674445891
*fleeting

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>>674445911
Also, that feel when your folks blazed erry day, you get the second hand smoke and cannot imagine what the fuck was so bad about weed that a pig rolls in with the DARE shit to show you and your classmates how fucking bad it is, and still not convince you. I would have been more scared of meth before and afters and alcohol related PSA's with footage of drunken dis-orderlies etc.

>>674445911
I remember the shit tier after school commercials while watching g the original power rangers. They never came to my school, but those body building bible thumpers did. Those dudes from pbs/public access that preached and ripped phone books in half.

Forgot all about that shit till just now. Also that mcgruff the crime dog.

Fucking 90s

>be 11
>schoolastic visits school and has us sell candy bars around the town to afford books
>come up with brilliant idea
>go for a long walk with the box of chocolate
>everyso often hide a bar somewhere outside and make note of it
>punch self in eye
>come home and say i got robbed of my book candy
>parents pay for the lost bars and i get Goosebumps books
>a few days later go find all the hidden bars and chow down

>be me 11 with friend
>want to get liquid resin from tree
>use lighter to let it flow into bottle
>tree starts burning
>run away but caught because it was near a fucking hospital
>pay 45 bucks because firefighter has to come
>nothing else happens because tree should have been ripped of anyways

>>674445911
>>674443677
Fucking dare.
They had some knockoff come to our ghetto ass elementary school.
Hey kiddos how much does someone you know smoke per day?
Pack a day?
So that's what 4 bucks?
Long math problem showing how much is wasted day/week/month/year.
4x 365 =1460
Divide by our what is that in nigger curency of $100 = new pair of Jordans
You could get 14 pairs of Jordans a year if you don't smoke!
Nigger jaws hit the floor.
They then mixed up a bunch of random store bought chemicals that happen to be in cigs and wafted it through the class.
You wouldn't smoke fingernail polish etc etc etc.
Turns out the "dare" sticker on my mom's car from when the legit program came through for my sisters class, kept my neighbor and I from smoking mad dro together. Sad times.

>smother my little 8yo cock with silly putty
>feels pretty good
>but very sticky
>can't remove it
>brother is worried
>he tells my mom
>mom or doctor?
>mom peels it off

>>674442102
French fag detected

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>>674437537

>be me, 6
>decided that my toy car was Super Electric Tesla Car
>connected cables to 220V
>SBLAMP!!!.jpg
>my sister ran to scold me "whadda ya doin!!! did you become an instant nigga?!?"
>told her I only shouted "hey, it works!"
>she replied "I heard a YOWTCH!!"
>Super Electric Tesla Car lightly burnt
>instantly decided to change the name to Super Jumper Teslumper Carlumper

>be 12
>walking my dog on a nature trail
>decide i don't want to walk my dog anymore
>tie dog up to tree and go see my buddy
>was only planning on being gone for maybe half an hour but was gone for 4 hours
>went and unchained my dog from the tree
>head home
>parents had called the cops because they thought i was abducted or some shit
>not allowed to walk the dog again
>awesome.jpg

>be 7
>for whatever reason my mother always leaves the bathroom door open when shes taking a shit
>one night, really have to go to the washroom
>don't know she's in the washroom
>pokes my head in the doorway, see her fat blubbery ass
>she sees me and throws a roll of toilet paper at me
>"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING PIG"
>still feel bad about it

>be me
>unsure if I remember how greentext works.

>>674437537
>Be 7-8
>Always work on cars with dad
>One day one of his friends needs to work on their car at our place for some reason
>Next day in the garage getting done doing w/e
>Clean hands with hand clearer then go to wipe them off with "clean" rag
>Rag I pick up is covered in battery acid from dads friend
>After couple seconds hands start to burn and turn red
>Run to house in extreme pain to wash hands
>Good times, yo!

>>674437537

>be me, 12, random biking
>ignore "Road Closed" sign
>ground becomes softier, slow down
>more soft mud, decide to go on slowly, it's only 200 meters to paved road
>wheel is going down in the mud, decide to acceerate to exit quickly
>in mud up to knees
>200 meters traversing mud on foot
>left at least 2km mud traces while cycling again towards home

>>674443677
I remember DARE. They had some stupid cunt called Piggy from real world or road rules or some gay shit like that come to my middle school to talk about smoking. I couldn't control myself from oinking and squealing out loud and shouting out SOOOIE!!! Had to go to the principal and get detention but after the stupid assembly me and few of my buds cut class and smoked cigarettes and made fun of how gay the assembly was.

>be 11
>is winter
>climb random house because fuck it
>slip on ice because obviously
>hanging off edge like a weak shit
>look down
>fence with spikes almost directly below
>start losing my grip and fall
>close eyes accept death
>land in snow bank
>likeaglove.gif

>be 5
>mom leaves hot iron on board
>burn iron shapes into all the cushions

>be 7
>not understand what hitchhiking is
>wake up at mom's friend's house
>leave house and walk to nearby freeway
>do hitchiking gesture in my footies
>say "this way to disneyland" at cars

How did I never get raped as a kid.

>>674447665
That's not stupid at all. That's brilliant.

>>674442562
Hey, at least you tried to be respectful man

Was 13 years old, curious about what naked girls were like, but I wasn't really curious about older women but more so kids my age. So I go into google and try to search but nothing shows up, so I kept trying over and over till I eventually gave up. I'm pretty lucky that nothing came of it other than my mom paddling me something fierce.

>>674450293
Your mum's a cunt m8

>be 7
>go to apartment complex down the street
>walk in laundry room
>throw dry leaves in dryer with clothes in it
>super calls cops on me
>i run home where my aunt is babysitting
>she tells me to hide
>turns out she knew the cop
>everything went better than expected

>be 4
>take keys to mom's truck
>turn truck on
>slide down the seat and o to the floor so I can press the pedals
>crash truck into closed garage door

used to slap dicks with my little bro and we'd piss in the toilet and cross streams and pretend we were niagra falls. me being the oldest i would pretend to be the canadian side since it is bigger. damm childhood is fucked up sometimes

>Be 5
>Open fridge one morning and take an egg
>Put it in my pocket
>Dunno what I intended to do with it
>Sat in class
>Egg breaks in pocket
>Had to change into my gym shorts

To this day I had no fucking idea why I did it

Always thought "obligatory" meant optional until like 14.
I missed a lot of things.

>be 6
>washing hands in bathroom
>plug nightlight back in with wet hands
>get shocked accidentally knocking light out
>plug light in half way
>electrocute self multiple times intentionally

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>Be me, 13 at the time
>Stupid as fuck, and thought I was invincible
>Riding my bike in an alley
>Decide to drift a corner, but gravel gets in the way
>Fall off bike, split hole in my lip
>Retarded me calls my mom telling her I split my lip
>shirt is held up so she doesn't notice
>She finally notices and we go to the hospital.

>TFW too many niggers so I have to wait 2 hours with a hole in my lip
>Finally get back to a room
>Get IV morphine and feel fucked up all night.
So, that's my story. Pic proof from 2 months later is above.

>>674450293
>"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING PIG"
what a loving, caring parent.

>Be 9
>Dumb as every 9 year old
>Have a toy with a parachute, you threw it up and the thing went down smooth as fuck
>Have idea
>Attach rock to parachute
>Throw it up
>Thing goes down as fast as it went up
>Lands right on my fucking face
>Broke nose and gave me a black eye

>be me, 17
>no tendies
>mfw

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>>674452783
>>electrocute self multiple times
mfw EST recipients don't understand the difference between electroshock and electrocute

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>>674437537
>be me, probably about 10
>go to local triple-a baseball team game
>me and friend bored with watching
>go to the far outfield seats,
>there's a green patch of grass between left and right field nosebleed seats
>litle play house, etc...
>lots of kids playing there
>decide to play football with friend
>use one of his shoes as the football
>get the bright idea to punt the "football"
>end up kicking shoe into the outfield
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>go run into the slide to hide from people that noticed
>friend half laughing half concerned/pissed
>have to wait till someone noticed
>outfielder eventually runs over and picks up the shoe
>tosses it back
>lots of people laughing all around
holy shit im visibly cringing right now thinking about it.

>>674453130
Stfu jake

>>674453154
electrocute = death by shock
electroshock = non fatal
lel people still dont understand?

>Be 12
>In group home
>New Year's Eve
>Hot 16-year-old asks me who I'm kissing at midnight with a smirk and walks away.
>holyshit.jpg
>Get tired.
>Tell staff member to wake me up before midnight.
>Fucker doesn't wake me up.
>Hate myself for life.

>raped the shit out of an indian boy at the bus stop after school
>no penetration but i rode him like i was breaking a horse
>his older sister confronts me about it
>repeat step 1 with his sister
>she cries to her dad
>dad is a lawyer
>they sue the shit out of my family

>>674442559

Weird shit can happen with dead shorts. I saw a kid stick a paperclip in an outlet at my elementary school and it blew the transformer on the pole... ...and caught the wall on fire. Best part is, the kid didn't get caught by the substitute teacher, and nobody ratted him out.

>Be me, 14 y/o in 8th grade
>Kid Josh picks on me constantly
>Get tired of his shit, challenge him to fisticuffs
>He accepts
>I've never fought in my fucking life
>He whips my ass pretty bad (though I broke his hand on my head)
>Walk home feeling pretty beta
>Two girls who saw the fight told me I was brave for standing up to him
>Invite me to their place
>So downtrodden by my defeat, I didn't even realize they might've wanted the D
>Walked home alone

>>674454044
poo in loo won

>>674453464
They seem synonymous and almost never come up.

>>674452473
Oh shit
I also used to pee with my little brother. Sometimes our mom was watching. Now that I think about it...

>>674437537
> Be 12, friends 15 year old sister yo try sex, tell
> her to get bent, she and her friend undresses
> me and wants to fuck - i think they are to to
> tickly aspecially in the middle region and
> tells them to get bent, leaves and play
> baseboll (or brännboll as it is called up here).

Now i regret the whole thing, two birds ready to fuck and i passed :D.

>>674454523
now you know
now quick using them interchangeably like a 3yo that knows fuck all about what words mean

>>674437537
>be 5
>attend kindergarten
>sitting at lunch table with friends
>right next to hispanic friend thats older than me because failed 2 grades
>lets call him paco
>paco yells out
>"i dare you to show me your weenie anon"
>challengeaccepted.jpg
>"oki"
>*unzips dick*
>smile
>girls look under table
>5 year old girls find out guys have dicks
>get sent to principals office
>paco is there too
>principal asks what happened
>start crying
>turns out rice bitch ratted me out
>paco makes lame ass excuse that he meant my jacket
>totalbullshit.exe
>decide im making this fucker go down with me
>accuse a bunch of shit, mainly that paco touched me in the area alot
>principal totally believes it
>paco gets expelled
>i walk free
>end up causing the school to have to add a disciplinary rule where the person who dares someone to do something gets in trouble too

>>674455179
>Be 12
>friends 15 year old sister yo try sex
>tell her to get bent
>she and her friend undresses me and wants to fuck
>i think they are to to tickly aspecially in the middle region and tells them to get bent
>leaves and play baseboll (or brännboll as it is called up here).
learn to fucking greentext

>>674455179
Niece englesh

>>674455265
I will, once you stop typing as a 3-year-old would.

You ironic fucktard.

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>>674455765

>>674453230
What AAA team?

>>674441875
I also am guilty of this plus trying to fly while holding goose feathers

>>674456121
Picture response.

Victory achieved. gg kiddo stay in school

>>674442562
"It'll be okay"

>>674456319
red hawks

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>>674456485
>Picture response.
>complaining about picture responses on an image board

>>674452830
you got a purdy mouth...

>>674444946
hahahah he tried to kill you

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>be five
>have dream I can fly
>immediately get out of bed, jump off porch and spread arms
>get rekt
>grandfather calls me a retard while I cry in pain

>>674437537
This kid is going places. Not college. But places.

>>674457146
>
Cool. I lived with the Isotopes down in Albuquerque. The way you described the stadium makes it sound similar.

>Between 5 and 10
>little school, about 200 kids
>every year there was one or two days that scout (boy scouts?) came to our school to play some games basically to recruit some untainted souls
>one of the games was, roughly translated, 'seaman can I sail past?'
>one or two people in the middle, the rest against one wall, every round they gave you an increasingly difficult or daring task and if you couldn't or didn't want to you had to run past without getting caught. Get caught and you stand in the middle too, gets really exiting once most people are in the middle and you have to get past
>last task, me and one other kid left
>every school kids is there, looking at me and the dude
>every parent is at the open gate to pick their kids up
>every teacher is watching
>task is 'lower your pants'
>other kid looks at me and runs over
>I proudly take down my pants
>still got underpants on, whities
>white undershirt
>game stops
>teacher grabs me, she angry
>try to tell her what the task was
>she doesn't wanna listen
>do it again and pull my shirt up and pants down
>she looks disgusted and walks away
>look at my bottom
>flashy white underpants and undershirt have the biggest dark yellow pissstain on them
>almost every single person I knew at the time saw it
>I was so stupid I only realized that a few years later

>>674457331
>>>reddit.com

>>674444749
Are you literally autistic?

glossed my dad's superdream brilliant white, the whole thing from end to end, top to bottom.
around 1985/86 I think.

>be me 11, 12 or 13
>figured out masturbatio
>feels good man
>spending the night at my cousins
>I'm able to rub a few out if I pee in between sessions
>sleeping on floor in cousins room
>use his shirt as a jizz rage
>want to go again but too late to use the bathroom
>roll to my side and piss under his bed
>ready for round two

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>be 7
>friend double dog dares me to piss in plant
>cant refuse a double dare, man.
>get caught mid piss by teacher
>get sent to office
>mom picks me up from office
>get the most dissapointing look from her in my life
>worth

>>674444749
Similar, only I didn't get scared like a faggot

>School is a shit European school
>Our toys are fucking old car tires
>huge stack of tires, sometimes we put a kid in it and lol at not hearing him cry
>this time I build a wall
>three girls ask to see my peepee
>get on their knees for some reason
>oddly like this
>they touch it
>one asks if piss will come out if you squeeze it
>tell her she's weird
>ten years later she's in my highschool
>she's the not dumb enough to be retarded girl but we all know she'll never make it
>she saves up old shopping carriers and does arts-and-crafts with them
>one of the other girls turned blind by age 13 and her father refused to send her to the doctor
>fucking Muslim dads

>>674444830
My fucking sides

>>674455613
Not gonna lie that was pretty fucking horrible too

>be 16
>don't have internet at home and really want to look at porn so do it at school
>think i'm totally awesome and no one knows
>doing it in computer class where everyone can see but never confronted about it
>one day principal brings me into his office
>unfolds a printout list of porn sites i've been to
>list is like 25 pages long
>i single handedly raised the red flag for the school's isp
>told to gtfo and get expelled

>>674439200

Either your dad was an a-class asshole or he worked his ass off to get you that bike and saw his overtime turned to waste by his retarded kid.

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Stupidest thing I ever saw a kid do was when my friends younger brother took a run on a Slip-and-Slid while carrying four large glass Pepsi bottles. He managed to slam them together and then slid through the glass shards.

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>>674456447
>plus trying to fly while holding goose feathers

>>674438073
>be 8
>could have been ducking till college

My guess is that your a dumb faggot. You could have talked to them anytime during your teens. You didn't.

>>674457210
Your granddad would fit in well here

>>674441337
Underrated L33T

>>674459190
Dad was a good guy but i was a stupid kid and we were pretty poor. yeah he was pissed that his cash went down the drain. wasn't a cheap bike either.

>>674444749
>>realize I have no way to explain pee dog, so I give stevie all the change in my pocket to take the blame
>>get away clean aw yeah
fucks sake, I nearly coughed myself to death, you fucking faggot

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>be in 7th grade
>super average kid
>look like the guy from the Lego movie
>no dress code day
>mom's a designer
>tell her about it
>gives me scarf and Russian looking jacket and hat
>pic related
>everyone's complimenting me
>everyone thinks I'm a new kid
>no one even knew who I was even though it's almost the end of the school year
>be in lunch
>sitting alone because feeling 2cool4school
>10/10 southern girl without southern accent I've had a crush on since forever comes to my table
>everyone's looking at us
>asks me name and where I'm from
>say Russia and Nikolai
>asks me if I have a grillfriend
>tell her no in Russian accent
>hear her pussy do the windows 64 start up noise
>ask her the same question
>same response
>before I could ask her this landwhale of a woman plops her ass on the table
>table shakes violently like when two fat people sit in a car at the same time
>she looks at me
>asks me the same question
>tell her I don't date elephants
>10/10 and Dumbo 360 and walks away

Grew up in boston. Lots of trouble to get into. We threw rocks at bus windows, just to break them.

We would blow up mail boxes with m80s. We lit fires & would stuff them in the big mail boxes on the corner

If we saw a bum sleeping, all covered in cardboard & newspaper...we'd light the newspaper on fire & wait till he woke up & freaked out.

>>674450498
Oh wow. Sounds like you were a real badass. I'm glad I didn't run into you in middle school.

>>674441841
>...

>Be 9
>Tell friend I was sent from heaven to be his guardian angel.
>He laughs.
>Can't turn back now.
>Start following him whenever possible.
>He looks over his shoulder and notices.
>Always take my chances to ditch in an alley or behind a car before he looks back again.
>Going on field trip one day.
>Nice treelogging business.
>Follow him as he takes a detour onto a path.
>Come out from behind a tree as he's about to turn around and just stand there.
>He bursts into tears.
>"Why do -I- have to have a guardian angel? What about my mother?! She's dying of cancer! She deserves it more than I do!"
>'I was j-just joking, man...'
>Try to console him.

>be 6
>in mexico for sisters 16th birthday.
>cousins entice 7 year old and I to play house.
>start making out
>tongues everywhere
>cousins watching us from outside
>had fun kissing and grabbing
>7 year old turns out to be niece that is a year older than me.
>be 12, fuck her silly after she told me she liked me.
>be 22, she has a kid and a husband now living in texas.

>>674441875
Lol'd

>>674457458

In the US of A we call this game "Red Rover"

"Red Rover, Red Rover, can I please come over?"
"Everyone in blue shirts can come over"

If you have a blue shirt, you must try and cross, and if the caller tags you, you're out. Similar rules, not quite the same.

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>>674460400
Check'd, dubs don't lie.

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>be me 7 or 8
>find a Snapple bottle in laundry room
>drink it
>tastewired.jpg
>swallow it
>dad ask me what happened to the bottle
>i said i drank it 3
>he tells me it was used engine oil
>realize i fucked up

>be me
>about 10
>living in third world island full of richfags because parents think it's nice
>riding bike on my way home
>only golf cars allowed to enter the neighbourhood
>thinks it's a good idea to hold on to one and go faster
>fall down
>get scratches everywhere
>my knee gets infected
>mfw no hospital
>mfw mom has to steal medicine from mental illness center

Asked to suck the head of my neighbors penis, I did.

>>674453775
>Ask me who I'm kissing
She was making fun of you anon. Not offering to Kiss you. You didn't miss out on anything. Besides that it would have been a kiss. That's it. Big fucking deal.

>>674455567
>unzips dick

>>674442562
>"it'll Be okay"

>>674460400
Newfag has format cancer.

>>674454332
>broke his hand with my head
>he broke his hand punching me
Fixed that for ya

>>674460388
>I was just joking man
FUCK!!!

>>674460544
We played a different version where some1 would run & try to break through a line of kids... but would usually get coltheslined.. & knocked on his ass

>>674437537

my uncle did that when he was a very young. my quick thinking grandfather, jumped up as he rolled up the newspaper he was reading and smacked him off the outlet. my uncle had a mark/scar on his face for life.

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>>674452783
>electrocute self multiple times intentionally

>>674437537
> be 4
> resistance, how does it work
> plugs a wire into an AC socket, almost dies
> be 19 goes to study engineering
> be 32, still hasn't finished school
pls explain my life

>>674460037
Windows 64 start up.... lmao

>>674460400
The wincest.

>>67444494 Timmeh the ape

>>674459419
good skimming skills there

>fridge and stove next to each other
>touching them both at the same time would shock you
>would spend 20-30 minutes a day doing this for years

>>674442562
>it'll be okay

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This isn't something I did, just a childhood story

>be me
>be 9
>few friends and I were hanging out on the play ground at school
>this school is racially divided as fuck
>whites, blacks and whatever else don't fucking mix
>just a normal ass day, white kids doing white kid stuff
>teasing the cute girls etc
>nignogoutoffuckingnowhere.jpg
>this shit is not normal
>"give us our ball back"
>nigglet is implying that us whites took their ball
>wtf.gif
>"its not yours, go away"
>5 other nigs come over
>chinks and spics want in on the action
>theres even a fucking Romanian in there somewhere
>"we'll fight you for it, gay boys"
>friend george don't take no shit and hits one of the nigs straight in the mouth
>laughter ensues
>followed by violence
>it is now a fucking turf war
>over a fucking ball
>kids getting thrown left, right and center
>9 year old me is just stood there in awe
>just out of perimeter of the bloodbath
>teachers finally break up what felt like WW3
>mfw george and the nig he punched joined forces and blamed it on the spics
>mfw we all got off Scott free
>mfw we actually did steal the ball
Best. Day. Ever.

>>674442854
Wounds heal, niggers don't give bikes back. His dad was smart.

> be 4
> in grandma's bathtub
> push penis to base to make it look like a volcano
> pretend pelvis is tropical island

>>674460400
mexicoons, cheif proponents of incest and child rape, even worse than the mudslimes

>>674462129
Top kek

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>>674460736
>he tells me it was used engine oil
top kek

>>674462129
Kek

>>674443677
DARE: Drugs Are Really Expensive.

>>674445246
partially 128,27,214 and partially 240,0,0
you cunt

>>674457458
> "Schipper, mag ik overvaren? "

>Be 8, in shitty reserve in Canada
>At a place where mulitple people live in cluding my aunt
>Me and some of my cousins are playing outside
>Sees broken outlet for charging cars
>We all stick our fingers in it one at a time to feel the shock
>Did it multiple times until we got bored and started doing somthing else

>>674455567
savage

>be 12
>grew up in a tiny village up in the mountains of northern Sweden
>Snowmobile was the only way to get around as a kid during the winter
>friend dares me to drive while facing the rear of the sled
>its on
>start driving while looking backwards at my friend
>accelerate more and more
>friend starts waving like a maniac from his sled
>I wave back
>fall off
>hear a loud crash
>look towards my sled
>it collided with a tree
>"I was trying to warn you about the tree, dumbass"

That and jumping off my garage roof onto hardpacked snow, a sure way to break both legs.

>>674449704
tbqh you a retard anon san

>>674453040
Kek

>>674449697
are you even speaking English you inglorious cunt?

>>674450377
sage

>>674450377
worth saging

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>>674437537
>be 14
>i was really into porn and jerking off
>i decide to learn how to self suck
>takes me a couple tries to finally get my penis up to my mouth
>i start licking
>feels too good
>i push my head down
>glans part is in my mouth
>porn keeps on playing
>all of a sudden i hear the garage door
>my dick starts to pump
>i think to myself i can suck myself all i want but im not gonna swallow my own sperm
>try to get back to normal sitting position
>cum flies everywhere
>lands on monitor
>panic
>i hear mom coming up the stairs
>unplug my speakers
>get hoodie and wipe the cum off as fast as i can
>its freezing
>i have to put it on
>it smells
>door opens
>hi anon
>hey mom
>i got you some food on the way back home
>cool

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>be me
>be 8
>parents are on vacation in germany
>me and my brother are with mah old nan
>nan = dont do shit about anything
>nan = "everything ya want for ma boyz!"
>be outside the small village we lived at in russia
>friends always told stories about a small grassfield
>told its full of snakes and lizards
>me and my bro decide to go on lizard hunt
>after 1-2h "hunting" I come up with a genius idea
>we smoke them out!
>get matches
>set the fucking field on fire
>tfw 6h later nan found us sitting on the pipes and watching about 20mx50m grassfield burning to ashes
>it was the one and only time I got beaten up by nan
>tfw when she didnt tell our parents
>tfw when I realize being older now how much fucking dmg we did and never got caught

>>674463361
sage is not a downvote you dumb cunt
fuck off back to >/reddit/

>>674442279
proof nigger

>>674462129
Why couldn't I have gone to your school?

>>674442562
11/10


>"h-hey e-every- *gulp* one"
>"uh heh. Uh it...itll b-be okay, okay?"
> rides off into sunset

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>>674442562
>it'll be okay

>>674459257
Kek

>>674455179
Brennball og Baseball er ikke det samme....Jævla svenske.

>>674463103
Dum fitta

>>674464401
Förlåt ;___;

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>>674462129

>>674438073
WOW!! a double game of house and doctor for; 4 years straight!! Amazing that has to be a record

>>674444444
Nigger

Be 12.
My best friend abandoned me to play with the other kids.
The other kids would not play with me.
I got my bbgun pistol and put a fresh CO2 cartidge in.
Loaded it.
Snuck up in the woods.
Saw kids playing.
Was very fuzzy as I had lost my glasses
I emptied my gun into the crowd.
They all ran.
I hit a first grader in the stomach
He still has a scar.

>>674461095
Red rover

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>>674459147
Oh dear

>>674445911
kek I googled Doso the Dolphin and this shit comes up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYTwSf8ojH0

>>674464692
>goes on 4chan
>doesn't know how to greentext

>>674464558
Vart är hem för dig?

>>674464749
zozzle

>>674463738
sage

>>674462883
>using rgb
pleb

>>674457331
Nice meme is that original?