>>577439874
lost at ooh la la

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Greentext ylyl is best ylyl

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That moment you realize all of you greentext is related to buttholes, going or out. Faggots post me some it was my privlage gl
reentext.

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not sure if right one, may have gotten mixed up with spoopy thread

>>577440286
That's sad and hilarous

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>>577439874
Edition*, you fucking inbred

>>577443836
Hey fuck you faggot. Its late at night and I wanted to laugh at something. Get the fuck out of here you neckbearded white rapper.

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contributing

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probably my favorite

>>577439874
>roll out of room

fucking lost it god damn

>>577439874


Fuck, remember it like yesterday
> be virgin, age 13
> meet young girl in theater after choosing Monsters Inc
> we are sitting next to eachother, talking, laughing
> hit it off, flirting like mad
>set up playdate for later
> meet at my house, playing in yard with neighbors
> start to wrestle with girl, touching becomes sexual
> the smell of this young girls sweat gives me one of my first legit boners
>decide we need some privacy
>run into woods with girl
>finally come to marshy clearing
>feeling girl up, she seems to like it
>kissing, rubbing, it's all magic
>I make my move and shift my hand to her pussy
>rubbing through pants, she makes small noises and a wet spot emerges between her thighs
>lose the pants, going down on girl
>wtf this bitch's poon reeks
>whatever, go down on her anyway
>she's making sounds like a dying animal now, wet enough for penetration
>dick slides into pussy, immediately hear whisper
>"get outta my swamp"
>ask girl "did you hear that?"
>"hear what?"
>mfw the realization this was no marsh, it was Shrek's swamp
> hear another whisper in the stagnant air:
>"this is the part where you run away"
>knock girl down, leave her as offering to shrek
>immediately sprint into a low hanging branch, knocking myself down
>look up just in time to see the ogre barreling out of the green mist, yard long eshrek'd cock swinging
>ravages girl just as I drift out of consciousness
>wake up with mouth full of hot swamp tar, onions fashoned into a rope of anal beads resting in my large intestine
>mfw first shreksual encounter
>mfw should've chosen Shrek instead of Monsters Inc

Been a great thread OP, don't stop

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>>577441014
Fuck man, the entire thread up to this point and I'm about to have a stroke

>>577442125
more?

>>577440286
This is the funniest shit I've ever read

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>>577444731

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>>577446809
>>577439874
Lel, I just posted these in another thread like 2 hours ago. Glad they were save-worthy. Time to contriboot.

>>577442892
what the fuck i don't remember saving this at all

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>>577447707

>>577440470
jesus that gave me a good laugh.

Op here. please try to keep this thread going. I want this to be known as the funniest ylyl thread ever. I'm going to bed. will bring more smiles and keks tomorrow
see yall

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>>577447845

>>577440470
Haven't lost this hard in weeks

>>577447401
>Hey, there's 20 letters in the alphabet right?
>No, there's 26.
>I'm pretty sure there's only 20.
>NO! THERE'S 26!
>Ah right, I forgot u r a q t
>That's only 5 letters
>Right, you'll get the D later.

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>>577448176

>>577447401

>Your remind me of my baby toe.
>Because I know I'm going to bang you on the kitchen table later.

>>577440926
I fucking lost.

>>577449420

Kek'd.So.Hard

>>577449420
This is so much better with sound....
http://youtu.be/f5_j2XafpHU

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>>577439874
Posting a favorite

I never post. Today is the day I pop my 4chan cherry.

>Be me.
>Be 20 in uni.
>Going to study with friends in liberry.
>Text friend asking where to meet him.
>He says on 3rd floor.
>Go to liberry.
>Go to 3rd floor.
>Dont see friend.
>Look down bookcase rows.
>See friend seated facing away from me towards the window at a desk in his trademark blue hoodie.
>Approach my friend.
>Gay-chicken-protocol engaged.
>I intend to win the ongoing gay-chicken war here and now.
>Sneak up behind friend.
>Swing legs over back of chair one at a time.
>Slide down behind friend so my crotch is touching his ass.
>Cup his breasts.
>Pull him tight.
>Friend turns around.
>Not friend.
>Total stranger.
>Never seen this kid before.
>His face...
>Ohgod.jpg
>I move head closer to his ear.
>Whisper; You arent John...
>Proceed to stand up and powerwalk down the stairs.
>Out the liberry.
>Off campus.
>Walk 9 blocks & get chipotle.
>Small school, everyone saw it.

>>577449185
>>577449668
10/10
How is /b/ so funny tonight??

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>>577450064
RWAAAAAAH-RWAAAAAAAH

>>577450339
good first greentext m8

chuckles/10

>>577450339
This one will go far

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>>577450339
Screenshot. This is now copypasta.

>>577450148
Fuck. I read that while thing hoping something funny was coming.

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>>577446652
I did not expect this thread to last that long, nor for anybody to want more. But there is more.

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Not greentext but 4chan post

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>>577451362

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>>577451525

>>577444343
I saw yesterday....side were in space

>>577441810
LOST

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I'll post 2.

>>577450064
thanks anon i needed this

>>577440623
Fucking lost

>>577440286

Fucking great.

10/10

>>577453573
Sweet feels are made of this

>>577454827
Accidentally uploaded it.
Sorry for the mood dampener.

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>>577453952
noooo holy fuck everything is gone including sides

>>577451647
god damnit, the average white-tier Mexican is truly a saint

>>577455063

So speaking of, there's a thread habbening about War Macheen kicking the shit out of Christy Mack

>>577452692

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last one
not greentext, but whatever

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>>577447401
>I just shit my pants. Can I get into yours?

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>>577444731

Please more subhuman/autism stories. Hamplanets, tards, niggers and pure autism are the best shit to read about.

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My last.
Thanks for the laughs, bros.

>>577447748
Funniest shit I've read in a long time.

>>577450064
fuck i am still laughing, i cant handle it

no IT Guy?

>>577458675
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEzhxP-pdos

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Mandatory. Best green text keks I've ever had.

>>577440854

This happened near me. I live in Completelymadeupsville.

>>577440808
Lost so hard

>>577440697
lmfao hahahaha

>>577442382
lmfao yes

>>577459441
day 23 best day

>>577456869
context?

>>577444343
too funny

>>577442081
LOST BADLY

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>>577439874

>>577461480
No idea. she must have asked for advice on some minor thing her bunny had.

>>577447153

USA! USA! USA!

>>577451512
11/10

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who the fuck wants to read all this shit? jesus christ, how about some god damn pictures!

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mandatory

>>577456707
That first reply. Holy fucking god.

>>577440926
first fucking time i keked in like ever on here good job anon

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>>577439874
okay niggers obligatory lightning raptard

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I'll post a few

>>577450339
My sides

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>>577462940

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>>577463164

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11/10

Thanks op and contributors.

It's now 2:15 AM and I have to get up at 7. Will not regret in the morning.

10/10 most enjoyable thread in awhile

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>>577463306

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>>577463445
I browse /d/ a lot, so some of these may be a little much for newfriends.

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>>577440808
>people saw

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>>577463721

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>>577464026

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>>577464223

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>>577462385
>In greentext thread
> doesnt want ro read
You acoustic nigger.

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>>577464223

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>>577464296

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>>577450339
oh dear lord my sides

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>>577451525
>She stares at him with the eyes closely resembling the mad butcher that killed an anon for fucking his daughter

>>577450339
you go to ASU huh

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>>577464442

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Long read but this is good as the phil raptard story

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>>577464925

Isn't anyone going to post that BROJOB thing?

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>>577465209

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>>577465662
oh god, that wasn't the one I meant to post... oh well.

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>Be 21
>Its halloween
>Visiting my parents
>See a grill watching watching tv in the living room(walked through the back so I cant see her face)
>Thinks its my 20year old sister
>Always messing around with her
>Smack her on back of the head
>She turns around, not my sister.
>Ohshitnigga.mp3
>Walk to kitchen and see my sister
>Stares at me confused
>Walk out of the house and dont come back

I dint even get to see my patents.

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>>577465246

>>577447748
I'm dying

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>be me
>be 19
>had moved countries at 14, came back to visit old friends
>one friend has a small party the night i get there
>hadn't taken a shit in like nearly 48 hours
>massive turd incoming
>run to his toilet in the downstairs area where we were partying
>commence massive shit
>flush toilet and leave
>come out and about 5 minutes later, house owner announces to everyone 'don't use bathroom downstairs if you gotta shit, its been having some problems"
>mfw
>15 minutes later I hear screaming and yelling "WHO THE FUCK TOOK A SHIT IN MY DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM"
>ask him whats wrong
>explains that someone took a huge shit and it caused a huge back up and now the shower is completely covered in shitty sewage
>go inspect, hes not wrong, shit all over the walls and its atleast a 3 inch puddle on shower floor
>everyone laughing hysterically
>claims someone is gonna have to clean it up and i tell him i saw another kid go in there beforehand
>he starts to blame him, nearly fights him and kicks him out
>party ends
>next day he tells me he has to pay $250 to fix it and get it cleaned, says hes gonna make other kid pay
>mfw

>>577440470
I pictured it as a charlie brown type sound the kid made and yeah...that was funny

>>577440470
Thats a 10 hour drive.roughly 583 miles. Dude.. think of that what did he see?!

>>577450339
8/10 got me a good chuckle going m8

>>577465074
Holy fuck am I autistic or did that take forever to read
Literally felt like I was that guy who wiped his shit with the Bible

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>>577464356

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>>577446356
This actually happened to my great aunt according to my dad.

>Apparently her dog died and she wanted to bury it at this famous pet cemetery out on eastern Long Island.
>She doesn't have a car so she takes the train
>Puts the dog in an old fur coat box to travel
>Puts the box down to buy a train ticket
>Some guy grabs it and runs off
>God only knows he gave it to his girl without opening it first

I mean, he still got fur I guess.

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>>577444731
capped lol lost so hard

U+5350

>>577443204
lost so bad

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Anyone have, "and thats the last we hard of this faithful anon" / "I fucked my cat"???

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>>577467981

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>>577444731

>>577442382

>fire arms

>>577440623
>so bad the dog left

awww fuck, lost.

>>577449420
cesaro?

>>577442081
what board is this?

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>>577440697
Hahahaha!
Holy shit that was great.
Okay, I'll contribute

>>577448176

das rite

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>>577473131
hahahaha forgot this one

>>577450064
excellence in citizenship.

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>>577473131
That is probably the first thing on here that has made me cya bit from laughter. Well done.

>>577475810
*cry

>>577453573
whycantiholdallthesefeels.jpg

>>577454069
godfuckingdamnitfuckingniggercocksshit!

Need the one of the guy who said his gf has a wierd looking pussy, turns out its a sex change gone bad

>>577477261

Gonna need the rest of this if you have it

>>577440854
idontevenhaveawebcam.... done.

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>>577477643
Coming up.

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>>577477796

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>>577477845

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That thrad made me cry.

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>>577477964

>>577475045

10/10

>>577440854
I lost it when at the end it turns out hes posting on /fit/

>>577478267

Jesus these are making me lose so goddamn hard

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This thread made my night, thank you all

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>>577478784
The worst is... they go on.

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>>577478916

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>>577478967

>>577441014
lost at violate the wall again

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>>577479010

>>577444120
Wow.

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>>577479068

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>>577479131

>>577459509
Saying greentext stories never happened is like walking into a special ed classroom and calling everyone retarded. There's a very high chance you're right, but it serves no purpose other than to make you look like an asshole. This is art, not history.

>>577441014
I lost bruh