>>563010503
You're a nigger

Just wondering, wanna go out sometime? I have a $100 Red Lobster gift card and I'd rather not spend it all on myself

>>563010802
reroll

Hey, I just want you to know you smell nice when you sleep.

Sorry about being so straightforward about this, but I don't know if you realize it, but i really like you. The way you act, your looks, it's all just really attractive (: what do you think about me?

>>563010503
what's up girl

>>563010503
Want to see some of my biology? I'll let you decide if it's too micro.

Let's go out

>>563010802
roll

>>563010503
>crush
Kill yourself.

I'm into findomme.
Would you do me a favor and take all my money?

>>563010503
Do u like me? My peepee gets happy wen i see U

>>563011178
Roll

>>563011016
rolling for this

>>563010503
Dicks McGee gurl whose chumble do I have to spuzz to get in dat butt?

nigger

I want to fill you with micro organisms of my own. Prop you upside down. Shove a magno scope down your cunt hole and watch my soldiers swim up you womb bat.

>>563011307
wInRAr

so when you gonna let me park it up in dat ass

>>563011307
Win

Baby, when I look at you every orifice on my body secretes simultaneously.

Your move OP

How was your day, cutie? Mine was awful. I tried to sell some games to some guy on Craigslist and when I showed up he and his buddies held me down and fingered me, then stole my games. Ugh.
Hey can I borrow your Netflix password?

>>563010503
i know what OP is trying to say here, but my inner voice always reads it as "Q T 3 point 1 4"

>>563010503
Don't be a dick. Get off 4chan. Then say you noticed her and you think she's sweet.

>>563011675
i genuinely laughed at this.

>>563011747
Thanks for sharing. Now GTFO

>>563011786
Rolling for OP to do this.

>>563011946
>>563011786
I'm imagining OP sending that whole sentence word for word like an idiot

>>563012016
kek

I want to make it look like your cunt has ebola.

She's typing just wait a sec guys

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0 decides

>>563010503
>She said "Hello"
>She clearly does not want your dick
>2014

>>563012650
OP's crush wanting to go out with him...? Guy's this isn't the real life

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Still 0 decides but she added this

>>563012650
OP is being a faggot and pretending to be talking to some bitch

>>563012650
Shes too easy, tap it and back off. Do not pursue, I repeat do not pursue.

>>563012650
I was joking about the last part, but instead how about I take you out on a date?

This is so fake

>>563012650
Oh wow I wasn't expecting her to be so sweet.
Come clean.
"One of my stupid friends dared me to say that. Going somewhere nice with you sounds great though."

OP is sucking his own dick while talking to himself
goes in all fields

>>563013023
reroll

itt virgin talking to himself to cope with the fact hes a beta loser irl

itt newfag dumbfucks thinking this is real

sage

>>563012885
Yeah OP I'm sure she's real

Can you give me your bank details please so I can get a transfer to you straight away.

Man, don't even let 4chan answer this for you. Reply of your own will. You already have this in the bag. Don't fuck it up.

>>563013105
Reroll.

>>563013051
This.

But obviously faggots are gonna fall for it and in the end OP will announce

>U HAV ALL FELL 2 MYE ROOSE

>>563013170
This is fake but winrar

>>563013224
Eh fuckit. Reroll for this.

Alright ill pay you literally $1,000 to shit in my mouth, ill even pay you first

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Do better guys come on

>>563011786

ftw

>>563012885
Okay :). But I insist you make double what you spend. And hey, why don't we make it something expensive?

Sorry, my friend took my phone. I'd love to take you out sometime, though

>>563013902

oops wrong number

okay then meet me in the woods with a plastic bag and a shovel

SAGE IN ALL FIELDS OP IS A FAGGOT

>>563013902
nice itouch you faggot

>>563013902
U didn't even give a number dum dum go fak urself and ur fak ass QT Pi

>>563013902
Nigga, don't text things that ain't even suggestions. Come the fuck on.

My actual suggestion:
"Sorry. I think somebody hacked my phone or something. I'm serious about the findomme though; I'd love to make my life savings into your life savings."

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>>563014487
>nigga
>implying op isn't a nigger
>implying those things weren't suggestions
>implying implications

>>563013902
** YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY LE PELICAN! ** post this in 3 threads or you will be fucking kiIIed

????????????????????
?????????????????????
?????????????????????
??????????????????????
???????????????????????
????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????

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8 decides come on b

Sorry, I have dicks to suck.

sage goes in all fields

>>563014832
Yeah, my friend sent that sorry. Now show me your tits and that isn't a joke

>>563014748
thats a cockatoo you moron

>>563014832
lemme see dem tittays, bitch

>>563014832
Eat shit faggot bitch! I'm a black lesbian albino and you can't tell me otherwise you sexist Cis-scum

>>563014487
Roll for this

>>563014832
Friend took my phone. Would like to go out, though. What do you have in mind?

>>563014487
Rerolling for the part in quotes.

Sorry that was my friend, now how should I bang your mom when I come over tonight?

>>563012650
She wants the D OP
DOOOOO IIIIIIT

plz be my first, anon

I support rape

>>563015070
Fuck you heaven (don't say this if winrar) say>>563014487

>>563015032
reroll

>>563015142
Rerolling.

>>563014832
ok girl its like this. I am faggot OP and I'm posting all this garbage fake fuckery on 4chan right now because I feel helpless. In fact, after the thread 404'd ima suck some dicks believe that.

>>563015082
Roll

>>563015124
Reroll

>>563015176
Reroll

>>563015260
Rol

>>563014487
ROll

>>563014832
No, bitch, I'm not. Now bring your cunt over here so I can tap dat shit.

>>563014832

I'm having a manic schizophrenic episode and I'm scared I might hurt you. Please call the cops.

>>563015341
Rolling again.

>>563015284
fuck you too yb6y1Luc

>>563014113

re-roll

>>563014832
Brb going to hang myself unless u show me your tits

Damn you heaven

literally this bitch will hate you why did you come here

>>563015438
rar

>>563012885
why is OP so lucky when hes being a faggot? Why cant this be me.

>>563015608
>>563015608
>>563015608

yep

>>563015438
I am winrar

>>563014832
ayyy lmao srry bae im lifted off that loud rn.

but ya yo we shuld get hyphe 1 night n do some shit we gone regret when we sober

>>563015609
reroll

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>>563010503

OP you're a horrible troll you could at least make it a little less obvious.

Fucking fail summerfag piece of cancer shit.

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>>563015754
Because op is a faggot and so are you

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You're losing her /b/ get her back 2 decides

>>563015438
Rar

>>563016309

I'm so sorry, I'm having a schizophrenic episode and I'm scared I might hurt you. Please call the police now, for your safety and my own.

>>563016309
Baby come back! You can blame it all on me

>>563016309
Love me U whore

m'lady *tips fedora*

theres no way you're enough of a spaghetti monster to name someone "Qt3.14 crush" if you managed to talk to a girl. this isn't real.

>>563015814
reroll

>>563016309
hey wait, I was just kidding. In fact I'm just lonely and get hurtful and stupid sometimes. I'm sorry. How about that: we spend my money going out and then you're gobbling these nuts up like it was some good raviolis

Call the police please help

>>563014487
Roll for this

>>563016309
I'm going to rape you

>>563016490

Rerroll

>>563016309
My stupid idiot fucking friends were passing around my phone typing shit. Would like to take you out though.

>>563016697
reroll

Send nudes and I won't kill myself
if you don't I'll kill you

>>563016490

Rolling again because op is a nigger who has to be in jail

FUCK, MY NO GOOD PIECE OF SHIT "FRIEND" HAS BEEN TEXTING YOU THAT SHIT. PLEASE IGNORE EVERYTHING I'VE SENT YOU TODAY

>>563016669
Christ yes, reroll for this

>>563016778
Roll

>>563016912
winrarr

>>563016912
winrar

>>563015049
>>563014748
It's a toucan, have you ever seen Georger of the Jungle?

>>563016912
winrar

>>563016932
>>563016912

Thank god.

>>563016309
Fine, bitch. I'll give him his phone back. But don't get pissed at him, pretty sure the dude likes you

>>563016912
thank god winrar

My micropenis will fill your slide any time.

Bitch dont take that tone with me.

>>563016309
I'm sorry, I know I'm being such a faggot, but hey, how about we have some semen down our throats tonight?

>>563014179
>implications

>>563016912
Now we wait for OP

>>563016309

I feel like I fucked things up with you and there's no going back now. Robin Willams, here I come :)

>>563014748
heaven is deathless comrade

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>>563017690
don't you mean...

>

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B what are you gonna do? 9 decides

>>563017974 >>563017690
lol im talking to myself im such a faggot le kek

>>563012885
I'm calling fake
nobody gives up on free pussy like that.

>sage goes in all fields

DON'T TRY TO CHANGE ME, SLUT!

>>563018104
I already sent him home. I am so sorry. Were you being serious about going out sometime though?

>>563018104
listen i really like you okay? Im sorry for putting your through that. Please give me another chance

>>563018104
Just send me nudes, you fucking bitch

>>563018249
winrar

>>563018104
Yeah, I should. Sorry to bother you...see you in class...

>>563018352
Roll

BTW I would love to go out with you

>>563018249
winrar lel

>>563018249
winlol

>>563018249
Goddamnit

>>563018104
Stupid cunt, believing shit like that is why every guy in school has thrown their hot dog down your massive hallway.

>>563018449
Most sensible winrar that won't kill the chance forever, assuming this is even real

>>563018249
kekekekekekekekekekekekekekekek

>>563018379
winrar... use this instead of >>563018249

>>563018104
Excuse me for my faggotry, so, how about some movies tonight? Maybe back to faggotland.

>>563018710
don't ruin this for me I was the winrar

>>563018449
>>563018629
See I got it twice in a row, so you have to pick mine

I accept >>563018379 as substitute

>>563018104
yeah I agree. listen, we're hanging out right now and they play some videogames n shit and when I went to the toilet they wrote it, sorry. but I actually wanted to text you at some point. I just think you're beatiful and I want to kill myself. so just suck my snake already and stop playing! stop being ignorant k thx love you

>>563018710
you can't just rewrite the rules, faghole

You need rethink your whole life, and you should hurry up to become my otokonoko already

>>563018850
i got it first faggot

>Rolling for next reply.
Will you be my new best friend?

>>563018804
no urs sucks dick

>>563018989
BUt you're a nigger. WE'll see what OP decides to do

>>563019173
ur le mom suck le ultimate dick xD
ayylmao

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>>563019316
>not saging
>implying implications

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5 decides try to get her back

>>563019740
Some times when you aren't paying attention I steal some of your hair to wrap around my dick while jerking off.

>>563019740
I'll make new friends? Please?

>>563019740
Fuck shit bitch ass cunt damn hell

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>>563019906
fuck so close reroll

op is fucked xD

Listen, I really love you actually, I feel terrible letting that happen. Please please, call me.

>>563019740sorry

>>563019740
But he was barely my friend, he was already on my last straw beforehand

>>563019740
I want you to tounge my gaping hole

>>563019740
Let me stick my dick in your pussy, you dirty cum guzzling thundercunt

>>563019740
Wow fuck you then cunt. You cant stop me from thinking about you while i jerk it so who wins now?

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>>563019996
>>563019906
reroll again the 6 get is real

>>563019740
whatever, you're just being hurtful
see you in the afterlife I'm going to hang myself and I'm serious about it. ima stream it on twitch too. Your fault

>>563019941
Reroll

>>563019984
reroll

>>563019996
Is that a fucking turquoise giants hat

>>563019740
send nudes im not sure if im gay i need reassurance

ITT: we see how beta /b/ actually is

>>563020016
reroll

>>563019740
>>563019740
Your mother jerks off pigs. She gets down on her knees and crawls through the pigpiss mud slop and snuggles up to the pig, her fingers tracing along it’s belly until she finds it’s cock. She begins tugging and stroking as her twat moistens, her breasts swelling and her nipples begin to stick out like erasers on a fresh #2 pencil. She grunts with satisfaction as the pig begins eagerly thrusting into her hand, her grip now tightening to maintain control of the pig’s greasy corkscrew cock. She lowers her head to watch the cock work in her hand, groans with satisfaction and begins working her clit with her other muddy hand, her hips gyrating with the rhythm of the pig’s thrusting.
“Oh fucking jesus god yes..” she gasps. She changes positions, still maintaining control of the feverishly thrusting cock as the pig’s squealing intensifies. She leans forward and with her lips almost touching the pig’s ear, she whispers your name and begins to shudder. She turns her attention again to the pigs swollen member rocking in her hand. She presses it between her hand and her face, the pig thrusting it against her cheeks as she drools. With a massive grunt and a high pitched squeal, the pig’s balls explode, beginning a massive shower of hot, sour pig jizz. You mother cups one hand under the fountain of steaming genetic material gathering it in her hand as the thrusting comes to an end. The pig shudders and begins to walk to the trough of slop in the corner of it’s pen, but your mother tackles it to the ground. She lifts it’s tail and smears the handful of pig load into the pig’s own fetid butthole, turning flakes of crusty pig shit into a pigshit-pigjizz mud slop on the pigs ass. Now she tilts her head to the sky and screams your name, not once, not twice, but three times. She slams her face full force into the pig’s butthole and it’s wreath of shitsemen pudding.
That’s your mom. Your mom does that.

SPAGHETTI IN YO FUCKIN PUSSY THE REASON I TAKE THAT FUCKIN MICROSHIT CLASS IS BECAUSE I HAVE A MICRO DICK LELELELELELLELELELELELELELELE

You keep saying dicks, that means you want mine?

Something something DNA helicase and unzipping jeans

>>563019740
she just wants the dick the ay she is talking about it, just playing hard to get.

Also this is not a roll

I don't deserve you but I really do like you, no "trolling".

>>563020087
>>563020258

>>563020193
reroll

You should let me take you up on that offer to hang so you can see if I'm actually a Dick or not

>>563020228
Yeah but lil b is a nigger so what is the big surprise?

>>563019740
>>563016893
reroll

>>563019941
Rolling

>>563020016
rerolling
I'm tryna get you laid here

>>563019740
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>>563018352
Thats good

>>563020308
reroll

sorry my cat typed that

>>563020365
Well fuck.

okay use it as a roll since winrar

>>563020418
roll

>>563020387
>5 get

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>>563020016
roll

>>563012885
>way too obvious fake

You really turn me on... Can we get it on??

>>563020506
reroll

>>563020517
reroll

>>563020595
wins the thread
/thread

>>563020605
winrar

>>563020595
Well

She sounds like a real bitch. Fuck her and leave her OP.

>>563020792
>>563020791
Actually I rolled 5 before these faggots

>>563020878
but nigga you said "not a roll"

>>563019740
i like to eat the ass if you do too ill return the favor
hint hint.. fart fedish

>>563020878
You said "not a roll"

>>563020878
Too bad, you said it wasn't a roll. You'd have to reroll it to get it back.

>>563020878
>"this is not a roll"
fuck you, nigger

>>563019906
loooooooool laughted so hard

>>563020605
winrar

>>563021179
>>563021173
>>563021171
>>563021082
What if it was all part of my devious trickery?

cmon OP, tell her to get a a sex change so she can become an otokonoko

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>>563021256

>>563021518
Then you like dick.

>>563021518
underage b&

Dammit OP, its my first time not lurking, tell her to become an otokonoko

>>563021653
I am foetus and what is this?

>>563020595
Im waiting op.

I'm sorry its just that I'm a lesbian

>>563019740
op's probably in a corner crying right now because 4chan got him a girl and lost him a girl all in 2 posts

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Getting her back 1 decides

>>563021951
the underage b& is all the disney child stars in one musical group...
and you, sir... are a liar and an undesirable

otokonoko

>>563022324
We need a photo, guys. Find a photo of a car driving away at night. Say "Here, I sent his ass home, heres a pic of him leaving"

>>563022324
well, you can trust me im sorry if i originally came off as an asshole but he only took my phone because he knew that i liked you. So if you give me one chance on a date i can show you that i you can trust me

>>563022324
Because I love you

>>563022324
Because I like you, a lot

get a pic of one of some drunk guy laughing off Google and show it to her

>>563022324
*insert dick pic* trust me now?

I'll do anything, just let me take you out on a date or something, my treat.

>>563022324
You shouldn't. Im a retard for allowing my friend to text you, i just want you to know im sorry.

>>563022324
Fuck you, give me my get nigger.>>563020595

>>563022720
roll

>>563022704
all the fucking gets and they aren't even related to the matter at hand fuck people

>>563022541
Winrar

Tell her that itèll be better to explain shit over a coefee

>>563022704
You know op, i like you.

>Rolling