There's no story for my feels right now, I don't even know why I'm like this, but all I feel is exhaustion and boredom. I want to go away, and kill myself, somewhere where I can't be found so nobody has to go through the hassle, funeral etc.
But no, if I disappeared, everything would collapse for the rest that stays, sister would blame herself for me being like this after moving in with her because we go to the same university.
both brothers would blame themselfs for not recognizing how I am.
Parents would grief and shit.
I don't want to destroy everything, but this is slowy destroying me from the inside.

>tfw no goofy, awkward qt3.14

>>670374441
Same here /b/ro. Also bump.

welp, no anons to feel today I guess

>>670373364
Managed 3.19 GPA to last semester engineering BS, major depression hit, just failed my midterms. I want to cry everything is falling apart

>>670376371
Is this the first time its been this bad?

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3 years into my aviation degree,
Also hit with major depression
took a leave of absence
only just found out this means i have to discontinue my flight training and cant pick it back up even if i finish the degree
now smoking huge amounts of weed to deal with the crippling depression and emotionally abusive girlfriend, all the while renting a house and constantly having just barely enough money to survive.

not to mention the huge, consistent pressure from my family to not fuck up, continue my degree in aviation and become a pilot.

I don't really feel happy anymore, or sad really. I guess this is better than being sad all the time like I used to, but lately I've just felt an angry dissatisfaction about everything. I don't care about my friends anymore really. I don't care about my future. I just feel slightly annoyed mostly. I haven't felt anything in a couple weeks and it's just been strange..

>>670377413
Can you become an Air Force Pilot through a paid education plan? You already have the educational background to easily meet the requirements.

>>670373364
I wrote something, this may be the right place for it

>>670377798
they get over 1000 applicants a year just for pilots alone, and then they lock you in for 11 years of compulsory service to pay back your training.

If i end up leaving my girlfriend it may be an option and to be honest it would probably fix my life, But its extremely competitive and i now have a medical history of depression which will make getting ANY aviation job significantly harder.

>>670378199
It's worth a shot, as you'll get a guaranteed job after school with decent pay\benefits.

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>>670377862
>Posting

He was an artist and a gentleman. He had big dreams, all circling around a lovely woman and a happy family. Providing wouldn't be an issue, he worked too hard. He kept his head high when his high school sweetheart broke him, after all they were only kids. Now entering the real world he's realizing how the stories he heard as a child were most likely lies, and the movies he saw were purely fantasy. Cynicism was never his style, but he knew the reality of change was inevitable. Looking around him he'd see arrogance, vanity, and lies. Despite the astounding lack of genuine love, vulnerability, and trust in his surrounding environment, he insisted that he would find it if he kept his head up. But time went on and change took hold. Chemistry between lovers became tinder profiles and hookups. Dinner and a movie is now netflix and chill. Conversation is a thing of the past, that is until someone gets their feelings hurt. Partners turn into con artists and lawyers when it comes to who has done wrong. He had come to know all of this, but he still pursued the right woman. The way she looked at him gave him that feeling again. The one he knew as a boy when he'd chase his crush on the playground. They'd talk for hours and hours into the night, and they built a relationship without a need for likes or retweets. It was simple and they were making it work together, but she wasn't in love with him. She was just like the others, in love with herself and in love with the attention he'd bring her. When he came to realize this it was already too late. She was gone and he didn't quite understand what had gone wrong. Though he was in a deeper, much darker hole than he had ever seen it wasn't until her one of a kind smile turned into a duckface in the hourly update that he finally checked out.

High school is ending for me and I'm starting to realize I can't push away a future anymore, everyday I feel worse and worse knowing I'm running out of time to choose, I don't want a job that kills me everyday but I also don't want a job that pays me nothing.
>inb4 underage
Any advice would be really helpful guys

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>>670377351
That's depressing

7/10

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>>670378398
Thanks anon - maybe ill give it a shot if i can get past this weed addiction.

>>670378676
Take up a fitness routine, and stick to it rigidly. It will help give you structure, a way to vent your frustrations, and something to take your mind off of whatever turned you towards weed.

>>670378565
Do something you're passionate about.

Like video games?
Do a degree in computer science, digital design or software development.

Like movies?
do a film degree

Honestly man if youre that young you have so much time to figure it out.

Im 22 years old as of 10 days ago and stuck in a degree im not sure i want to be doing anymore.

make sure you get into something you actually enjoy, and not what is expected of you by your parents or friends.


if you dont want to go for the university option there are still plenty of alternatives.

>>670379209
Do you mind if I ask what you do?

>>670379164
Easier said then done my friend, Its hard enough for me to even get out of bed each day - let alone exercising.

How do you get motivated anon?

>>670379164
gtfo /b/ with your copypasta "advice"
>captcha: cookies
homergargle.gif

>>670379209
this sounds like a commercial for online college, which is bad for those of you who don't know.

>>670378565
dont listen to that crap. Life is hard, and you'll need a real career unless you have rich parents. And you dont', okay? Go to university, a real one, and take classes until something speaks to you. Then lock it down and take it all the way.

Im almost 20 and a kissless virgin. Its not that it bothers me greatly, relationships seem to be quite a hassle. But i cant deal with the sexual frustration and the feelings of inferiority. Im auschwitz-skinny and for some reason i cant talk to women - not that i really try, i just go to college and fuck around with the few friends i have there.

For years ive been hoping that my libido would calm the fuck down, but it hasnt yet. Might fuck a hooker if im still a virgin at 21.

>>670379383
im the aviation guy from >>670377413

I may not have the best advice, and i feel pretty fucked up myself but i sure as shit know how you feel and what i would do knowing what i know now.

>>670379576
fucks sake, is this me?

I feel you bro

>>670379569
What would you classify as a real career?

Just look up The Ballsd of Ella. It really effected me. Or the Ballad of Eight Beers.

>>670379441
I started one day, kept at it for a week, and just didn't stop. Mostly came from a desire to prove myself valid in some way.

>>670379576
fellow skinnyfag here, girls dont really care about it in my experience. If you project confidence, thats all they will see. Just dont be a weird cunt.

>>670379854
It doesn't matter what field its in as long as it pays the bills and you dont hate yourself for it. Ideally you want something you love (obviously) but realistically you'll lose interest for it when it becomes something you have to do to survive. The best course of action is to find a field that interests you and when youre stuck in the career you have to do itll pay to have a good hobby. Work hard, make a living, fuck your wife, feed your kids, and blow off steam when you can. Thats the best life advice I have to offer, and take it from someone whose thought enough about it to make it count.

Been depressed and gave up on God when I was 11. Really traumatic situation where my Uncle, the only role model I had ever had came home from war and hung himself. I couldn't believe in a God that would send people to hell for wanting to get away from immense pain and sadness. Dudes wife had been cheating on him and was leaving him, after he came home from duty once his FOB got bombed and he had to pick up the remains of his friends. After that I gave up and made sure to rely on myself for motivation. Went through the next 10 years of life keeping shit bottled in and having no support. Have a older brother with cerebral palsy that I take care of, feed him, bathe him, take care of every aspect of his life for him even doctor appointments. Mom always laid it on me. Have a dad who gave up his solid life after getting diabetes to become a pill popper and break into pharmacies, he's now on the run with a huge bond out on him for breaking into them. Frequent intense waves of depression cloud my judgment, cost me my soulmate. Have never been happier than in the moments I was truly with them and now I purposefully ruined it because I was sad and blamed it on her. I was wrong. Get into hardcore drugs afterwards, bad relationships back to back. Destroying my life, dropped out of college, night where I don't even know where I was or how I got home. Lost my best friend in a motorcycle accident cause of our partying. Hello drugs my old friend. Getting coked out like an idiot often. Finally decide to get my shit together once I figured I wasn't gonna die like this no matter how many black out nights I've had. To scared to just flat out kill myself for the sake of making sure someone takes care of my brother cause my mom wont. Back in school now though, laid back on the drugs, getting better. Still get sad though. But hey, it does get easier, I'm low, but god damn I'm not as low as I was. Thank you for hearing me out Internet strangers.

>>670380472
Its tough anon. Its not all good, but its alright. So keep youre head up. Youll make it

>>670380326
>>670379784
Wanted to say thanks to both of you, I know it's strange but it helps to get advice from people who probably won't sugar coat it

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>>670380472
It takes a strong person to come back from those odds.

I wish you luck anon.

>>670380293
Im not a weird cunt afaik. Im just a quiet cunt. Im not very open and talkative even to guys i just met, add some inexplicable mental block that keeps me from talking to women who are mildly attractive, and youve got a lonely virgin.

>>670380824
Remember you're still young anon. A year is a long time and a lot can happen - you still have plenty ahead. Good luck and always have fun doing what youre doing. You won't always have time when you're older.

where is the green text

>>670381231
Do you have a job? i work in retail and a lot of my confidence has come from being FORCED to interact with my female co-workers as well as customers. The only way to improve your social skills is to use them, friend.

Well this one can relate to all of us I think.
>Go on /b/
>realise you only look for feels threads to rip some sort of emotion out of you
>realise /b/ made you be emotionless
>/b/ is ruining my life
>desperately I'm trying to find my self in /b/ as this is where I lost myself

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>>670381468
Some earlier, and here's another.

>>670380472
Glad to hear you're trying not to change, try to find joy in very small things. Walk and enjoy the air, dance to music when you're alone, cook your own food feel free to experiment there, lots of small stuff like that can make your day great

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>>670381632
right in the feels.

>>670381632
ouch.

>>670381312
Thank you, I think I'm gonna spend the next few months thinking very hard.

>>670381671
Always makes me feel

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It's been about 3 and a half years since I parted with her but I can't forget her smile yet. I'm with another person now, but I feel that I'm not happy entirely, as I was with her. I feel dull and bored of life. Everything is boring since then.

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>>670373364
Was lurking but might as well post

>Be me 2 years ago
>In desperate need of a fresh ipa beer
>open fridge
>no beers
>the evening before I drank the last one
>got water

This shit still hurts.

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Thought i would share this too,

>be 15
>work in fast food
>meet nice 7/10 girl, she has an abusive mother
>im not interested in a relationship, but the flirting is fun and she's cool
>we end up fucking
>it was both our first time and super awkward
>she knows i dont want a relationship
>this goes on for a year or so
>meet another girl i really like
>fall in love with her
>have to break it off with girl from work
>i can tell she is devastated
>never meant to hurt her things just worked out this way
>dont hear from her for a while
>dont see her at work anymore
>ask my manager where she went
>turns out she hung herself, got revived and is now in a coma
>never came out

This really fucked me up.
Now i cant be sure because she ended up dating a few guys after we broke it off but i know she was really upset by what i did.

I havent told anyone this guys and it still fucks me up 7 years later. I feel so fucking awful about it and theres nothing i can do.

>pic related

>>670374441
Stop jerking it. Try. Profit. Seriously.

>>670383763
why are some fathers such fucking morons sometimes? I share some of your experiences

>>670378412
That's pretty deep man.
Shame it's an impenetrable wall of text.
I read it all though.
I know those feels.
It's hard to come to terms with the fact that that one special someone really isn't special at all.

>>670374441
Highly recommend you talk to a friend. Seriously. Letting others know can make a difference

There's a girl in my chem class at uni that's cute and weird and wears shirts with shows/games I like but never really talks go anyone. She always sits alone and looks like she could use someone to talk to, but at the same time seems like she would be weirded out if someone just randomly sat next to her and introduced themselves like I want to. I have no idea how to approach her but she's the 1/100000 person with the same interests I have.
>tfw haven't even wanted to talk to anyone since how close my ex and I were because we shared every single opinion and interest until now

>>670384529
Just sit next to her and talk about the class.

>>670384745
I get there later than she does, and by then people have filled in the seats around her. My class before that ends 10 minutes before it starts so I have to powerwalk it there as it is.

>>670383136
I Feel you anon. The hardest thing to fight is accepting there's no chance you'll both ever be together again. That little sliver of hope will destroy every relationship you try to have. You just gotta talk yourself into accepting what happened. And you don't just do it once and it's done, you'll always have to Convince yourself it's really over and you have the power make yourself happy again. They just get fewer and farther between. The pain is undeniable, it's how you handle that pain that makes or breaks you. Be strong anon.

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When I was in the 7th grade I stole Kat's favorite hat out of his locker and threw it out the bus window on the way home from school. He cried hard for a week straight because his hat was gone. The school faculty even put up a $50 reward for the return of his hat. I don't know what the deal was with that hat or why he loved it so much, but it was known around school that he had a special attachment to it. I always thought he may have been autistic. I feel bad about to this day and if I could go back I would leave his hat alone. The school used the reward money to buy him a new hat and he still wears it.

Pic related. This is the hat he got after I stole the first one

>>670384940
Are you funny? You could still manage to rush in and get a seat next to her and not look weird if your funny about it. Then make comments about the class to get her interested in talking to you

>>670383763
This is way too relatable for me. I'm waiting for my phone call. And I know it'll play out just like this, no matter how much of a hard ass I wanna be to him.

>>670385149
As far as I can tell people seem to think so. She sits in the middle of a crowded row so I'd have to be sanic fast to pull that shit though.

>>670374441
Go to a shrink or talk to a friend, it might help

>>670385607
Then call in the inner sanic haha. This is just the shit you got to do when you're on the hunt for a girl.

>>670381632
sigh... true

Noones prolly gonna give a shit, but here goes
>Be 18 winters old
>Meet though breakup
>Girl leaves cause im immature and cant take responsibility for my life
>Life crashed down on me
>Drop outta school
>Even bailed on my therapist cause im too depressed
>Get picked up by police cause im not paying rent
>Forced to live in some shitty place until I start working
>Got my shit decently together
>Working and making a living
>Meet genuine girl like 6/10 but a heart of gold
>I pretend to be a cool guy and she falls for it
>Things are getting serious
>I Tell her how much shit im going through
>She says nothing matters as long as im working on my shit
>Fast forward half a year of long distance relationship
>I start up my degree so I can finish what I started and start studying for a real job
>We move in together
>Happiest ive been in my entire life
>We live great for 5-6 months
>My depression comes crashing in outta nowhere in winter times
>My motivation and lust for life dives hard
>I become a real pig to live with, I don’t do chores and Im getting selfish
>She does everything she can for me
>For the second time I drop out with only half a year left of my degree
>She tells me its okay but I gotta work on my problems
>I convince myself I need to relax for half a year and try harder next year
>We are doing okay, I work and play games
>We even wondered when we wanted a baby
>This girl is wife material
>Half a year passes and she is getting exhausted from me little by little and I feel it
>Feel like shit but blame depression, so its ok
>Starts up on my degree once again, this time doing alright
>Gets to winter and my depression kicks back in
>Use all my force and will at staying in school
>Still not doing chores at home
>Depressed so lack of mood and sexual lust
>She is tired of doing everything and getting shut off at sex
>I feel like shit, and tell her how well im doing at school

My father, who was a charismatic man, and a good man, started out in life in academia. He was a writer for TCU college, for their magazine. In his teens he messed around with hard drugs, like speed and cocaine. When my mother expected him to get a nicer house with more space, because she watched HGTV when we first upgraded to cable, he needed more money. They put me into public school instead of private school, where I became extremely unhappy. My father got a job as a pharmaceutical rep, being that he was bright and had a classic salesman personality. To those who do not know, there are a lot of shady faggots in Pharm sales. Its kind of a party industry, with doctors included. He was reintroduced to cocaine. He cheated on my mother for a plastic looking fake tit bitch, went to live with her in a big house. He went from snorting the shit to shooting up. He died of an overdose, and the bitch ran away with his life insurance policy, because in his shortsightedness, he thought she would do the right thing.

Don't trust drugs, and don't trust the vast majority of women unless they prove themselves in an apparent way where you KNOW, they are real. Men might be dipshits sometimes, but women are far more deceiving, because the weak rely on lying.

>>670385845
>Months passes yet again
>Its December and im not even close to being kicked out, new record
>Feeling proud by personal achievement
>Feel like life is going uphill finally
>Decide I want to propose to her on valentines
>Girlfriend is getting grumpier and grumpier by the time
>We used to game and stuff, she doesnt want to play with her old friends or me at all
>She has one friend she plays a lot with at this time, a friend of a schoolmate
>I know and she knows he likes her, its obvious but she pretends she doesn’t notice
>I tell her I feel awkward with her playing with this guy all the time, she is literally shutting me off for another dude
>The next couple days she stays at her moms place, she is sad I can see
>Saturday night im playing with our common friends
>Jan 10th. She comes home, pack her stuff, and says: “Im sorry it has to be like this” and leaves
>I have literally no clue what just happened
>One week of solitude passes, haven’t heard from her once, have no clue where she is
>She writes me saying she needs space from me and all of this
>Tells me im too immature and cant takle responsibility for my life
>No clue what she means, im finally doing good in school
>Its over
>Totally shocked
>Im back where I started. No gf, no life, still depressed and still feeling like shit
>I stay out of school in 2 weeks
>Life is downhill again

>>670385845
>>670386040
>Friend come over to cheer me up (I have no family) and help me clean up the place for sale
(Bonus info: My friend is 22 like me at this time. He has been working at the same company for 4 years almost and less than a week ago bought the company with help from his dad)
>He tells me I need to live my life for me and stop being scared
>He says: “Back in middleschool I used to look up to you, you are the smartest person I know and with work I see you as the most successful person in 10 years”
>Puts a tear in my eye my old friend who is successful as fuck believes in me
>He gives me 4000 dollars to pay for old rent and pay for a new apartment and get established
>He says if I finish my degree this summer and start studying this summer he has an internship and afterwards a job for me at his company
>Now 2 weeks later
>Im doing good in school
>Im living my life to the fullest
>Im seeing a new therapist, depression is gone
>I stopped dating and started looking towards a future
>I got a golden opputunity and grabbed it
>The happiest I have ever been in my life
>Mfw I know ex still regularly plays with that fucking dude

Scrolling through this with peaceful piano from Spotify, intensifys everything

>>670384529
i hope you can do it bro
Talk about that you also like that show/game of her tshirt

>>670386152
There's something about having a girl stop loving you and start loving someone else that makes me mad and sad

>>670373364

/r/ing the one with Anon's mum commiting suicide. I want to read her suicide note.

>>670387123
tbh havent talked to her for a long time, but i dont think she loves him tho, she is using him as a rebound and he likes her.
So more like poor dude. But who gives a fuck anyway lmao

>be me
>16
>I am lonely
>I have family, friends, etc and all of them care about me
>still feel lonely
>feels like I can't tell anyone because of what I just said
>In reality, i'm not lonely
>still feel like I have no future, no matter how many people surround me
>I technically have a great life
>I feel like nobody will ever fall in love with me
>I feel like I am doing something wrong
>I can talk to people fine
>I don't feel awkward when around certain people
>still feel alone
>I convince myself to fall in love with any girl who gives me any attention
>I can't help it
>I'm an absolute mess
>find myself getting rejected after asking someone to just hangout
>they don't say know, they just say they're busy
>I can't tell the difference
>I will suck the happiness out of anything. Even if somebody doesn't enjoy my presence but doesn't tell me straight up. It's just sort of obvious.
>ignore it
>I do whatever I can to be happy because I need someone and when there is a person with me, especially a girl, I feel happy
>when it's completely over, I move on and find another person to retrieve happiness from

>happy is happy, and there's no way around that

>>670373364
I want to kill myself for days now. I finally decided to ask a girl (26 year old kissless virgin) out she said ok, but she never showed up. I was so happy all the day, I sit at the meeting place alone for 3-4 hours. When I asked her what happened she told me that she thought I was joking, and all of my fucking colleagues are laughing at me now for days.

>>670386627
Depends on what day I sit next to her and what shirt it is. Hopefully I'll get lucky and it'll be something I recognize

>>670388031
Fuck off you fucking faggot. I would give anything to be a teenager again, and to hope everything will be better in the future.

>>670388031
That's cute. Check back in when you have real fucking problems, faggot.

>>670373364
Be me.
>5 days before christmas
>girlfriend I've been living with for 3 years leaves
>had $3000 saved up for the ring....
>Tell her willing to change anything to keep her, and make her happy. Serious too, would change anything
>"nope"
>she actually leaves
>love of my life gone
>girlfriend emails landlords about breaking lease
>continue going to work, but I'm so depressed. Luckily work is slow.
>get laid off of work.
>now surrounded in our house surrounded by her things.
>The gf literally took just enough clothes and left all of her furniture, things, pets
>Tell her I could be the man she could fall in love with. I'd never play a game again if I could have her
>doesn't care.
>Landlords decide they're selling house now that GF has left lease.
In one month I went from living with who I thought was going to be my wife some day to Being alone, homeless and unemployed.

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>>670388265
If you encounter a situation in which you are loosing all your pastas to the ground, remeber this :
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all... nothing at all... nothing at all!...

So, I've tried posting this a lot of times, but everytime I start, it fuckin 404's. If people are interested will post about it - family abuse, kidnapping, bankruptcy, broken engagement, living on the streets, the women I care about most - all have cancer. Until I see interest is shown will make a samwich!

>>670389838
I have interest.
Pre-type it in word or notepad or something and save it in case of 404.

>>670389838
Go ahead you fucking attention whore

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>>670389838

>>670381632
I think it's kinda fun in a way to just give no fucks about anything.

>>670373364
I've watched the office to sleep every night for the past 2 1/2 years so just the gif makes me feel alot
i lose

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>>670384454
>>670385711
>tfw friend turned me away

This happened twice and now I'm astranged with the only two people I considered my friends.

My grandfather died yesterday, he was basically my dad since my mother died when I was young and my father left before I was born. He was the strongest son of a bitch I've ever known. Also the first girl I've ever loved and the one that took my v-card dumped me last week and is pregnant with another man's child. I'm pretty down /b/ro's.

>>670377648
I'm waiting on this.

The constant pain feels physical now and it really hurts.

>>670391290
Stay strong buddy. Do it for your gramps. Make him proud.

>>670391290
jesus man thats alot at once, chin up though

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I once dated this guy in Massachusetts, keep in mind I live in California, so it was a long distance relationship. We've known each other since 2011, and he was actually the first guy I liked in that way, vice versa. My jealousy got the best of me one day in 2011 & that made me block & remove him.

>2014.
I broke up with my girlfriend on the 17th of May, and you know, heart broken. I re-added the guy from Mass & turns out his girlfriend broke up with him on the same day as I did.
We both knew we liked each other, so on May 20th, we began to date eachother, he asked me out in a Skype call. 2cute5me.

We used to play games & chat every single day after school. My jealousy kicked in one day because he brang our old friends in the calls & I just stood quiet because I wanted his attention. He knew about my jealousy & anger problems, which he understood. Back to the cute stuff, we would fall asleep together on the Skype call, say mushy stuff "I double wubble you!", silly things of that matter.

1st Day, he didn't reply to my message nor see it.
>ohokay
2nd Day, he still didn't see any messages.
>probablybusy
3rd Day, he finally messages me. "Sorry..I needed some time alone."
>whatsthematterbabe?
He tells me that he feels uninterested in a relationship at the moment. That he doesn't want me to give up because of my shitty relationship past. He promises me that he'd still be my friend & message/Skype with me everyday.

A few weeks pass, and he doesn't see a single message & when he does, he passes it off like nothing ever happened, like he didn't do it.
I get angry at this & overreact, deleting him.

>be now.
I've sent him 2 long apology messages to him, on Skype & Facebook, no reply. I still regret my own actions to this day, we all make mistakes & deal damage. I don't blame him for anything at all, just myself, because of my anger & jealousy I used to have when I'm in a relationship.

5/20/14 - 7/25/14.

Can somebody post David Higgs? I wanna listen to Clams Casino and cry.

>>670373364
Not really a story but is it bad that I'm asking myself if things are going to work/ are working with this girl I've been dating before we've become a couple?

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>>670373364
The person I'd like to hug and pamper lives 3191 far away from me. It's sad but I used to chat lots with this person and suddenly just dissapeared. I like to cheer up people but is the same "don't worry is just stupid things" I think I miss the company. Or maybe I'm not interesting anymore. But lemme tell you, one day I'll sit down in a bench in the city this person is and feel the same loneliness I'm experiencing today.

>>670388031
It gets better before it gets worse, but it's always gonna be a rollercoaster for you man.

I totally understand where you're coming from.
Just take each day at a time, and you'll turn into a healthy adult.
Just never stop moving.

All I can say, I keep your friends close. I blew my younger years chasing tail and blowing everyone off.

I live with my highschool sweetheart, so shits not so bad, but listen when people tell you the choices you make now will determine your future. Don't fuck this up, you've only got one chance at this.

Also get the fuck off /b/ underage fag

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All these greentexts that no one will read....

Haha damn /b/ros. Pretty sad.

>>670393581
I'm reading them.

>>670390218
>>670390119
>>670390073
So guys I am starting it's gonna be a long one. And btw pls respond so it doesn't 404
Just before I start I would like to tell you
I am 23, soon to be 24
No, I am not black. I am as white as you can get them.
I do come from an Eastern European country.
>be me
>me mom marries young
>abusive father, abusive family from his side
>we live with his parents
>his brother also, he has cerebral palsy
>one day he locked my mother outside for 24 hours when it was -30C
>gran, grandpa and father are alcoholics
>be me age 4
>see grandma put a knife through grandpa's arm and the table
>play a lot with uncle
>though he is a kid as well
>grandma and grandpa always nice to me
>father is not
>will beat me a lot
>be age of 5
>mom walks on him strangling me
>she leaves soon for her parents with me in a different place
>grandma(the one with the knife) dies from cancer
>never seen her grave
>never heard from grandpa after he was forbid to call me from my father
>haven't seen or heard dad since then
>from relatives I know I have 2 brothers - one is 16 the other 14
>never seen them as well
This is the story from that part of the family
Continue to next

>>670393581
For some people it's just better to vent. Writing out my thoughts help me rationalize things

>>670383527
wew

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>>670381671
Welp, this made me sad.

>>670393919
Yeah man, I second this. Who gives a fuck who reads it as long as you get it out there.

This thread is gonna 404 in a bit but I think of venting to /b/ the equivilant of writing it down, and then ripping the paper up.

It really helps.

/b/ has helped me get through every breakup I've ever been through, and reading anons stories make me feel a lot less beta.

I feel like I can relate to somebody.

>>670388031
I feel the same way Anon.

no 404

>>670393777
I will post a song with each of my replies. Will make sense further down the line.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2jxjv0HkwM
>be 5 at other grandparents
>that grandpa who I would refer as I. from now on had a brother
>that brother was actually head of the mob in our town
>had a lot of enemies
>his enemies go for relatives
>which is us
>grandpa I. is out of town
>around 2 PM during the day 2 people bust in our house
>one has a big knife like that skin a fuckin lion
>the other one a gun
>because they break In while mother was opening the door she is flung
>from the hit her forehead starts to bleed
>aunt (she is 14 at this point) is hiding under bed
>the guy grabs me and puts the gun to my head
>mother can't react she is unresponsive
>thankscience grandma was able to go the the balcony and scream for help
>they panic and run away
>leaving me behind
>luckyasfuck.com
>don't know what happened with the guys
>two weeks later someone robes my mother in the elevator
>ever since then she is scared shitless for me
>ever since then I have no fear of death
>it kinda bugged me
>Grandpa I. decided we will move to a new apartment.
will continue

no 404

>>670395390
when you say robes did you mean rapes

>>670373364

>Be me 23yo
>Ugly as fuck
>Bullied all my life.
>Severly depressed.
>literally busy planning to start a massacre.
>Meet this great girl.
>No more homicidal thoughts.
>She dies in an accident.
>Turns out she was pregnant.
>Homicidal thoughts return.

fml

Never 404.

>>670396184
damn keep your head up

no 404 bby

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>>670396184
so tell us about this devious master plan

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>>670396184
White boy detected

>>670373364
MODS are cranky tonight, eh? Must be FULL MOON.

>>670374441
join the military. be ultra aggressive. get shot. you get your death. family gets a hero.

>>670396662
mods are always cranky

>>670377413
embry riddle?? same here

>>670396184
Please don't take "innocent" people with you anon. That's a pussy way to go.

>>670395390
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCJblaUkkfc&index
>be me at age of 7
>new apartment
>shit seems cool
>bigger than the one before
>because I've seen shit things trying to be good to everyone
>start evolving sympathy
>this turns into empathy further down
>kinda hard to blend in with the other kids
>my neighbour threw a brick at my face
>split my upper lip in 2
>massive blood everywhere
>be me at age of 14
>Grandpa's I business is going really well
>real estate
>built have of buildings in city
>me and awkward kid as usual
>my parents trying to get me interested in sports
>play a lot of football
>also train Wu-Shu
>I am interested more in arts - music, literature and shit like that
>also interested in psychology and philosophy
>be a massive gamer
>turn 15
>never interested in girls
>prefer my games
>this one chick from my class digs me
>she digs me a lot and I see her as a friend
>talk all day and skype all night
>fall for her
>she is my first kiss, the girl I lost my virginity too and a best friend
will continue

>>670397087
thisisgettinggoodop.jpg

dont 404 bby

>>670397087
you better end up Wu-Shuing some Mafia crimeboss in a Raid-esque showdown

>>670373364
>wrestled all four years Highschool
>in hardest division of hardest class in missouri wrestling/sports in general
>only started Highschool, most opponents been doing this since they were kids since im from city and they're all county
>senior year comes around
>anxiety issues so bad im puking and can't sleep
>still a decent year(ended 24-13)
>districts, at home this year
>two losses out, won once then lost to second seed douche
>wrestle girl
>7/10 cutie
>beat her, she's out
>have to look her in the eye as she tears up while I beat her ass
>later I lose by getting chocked out illegally since worst ref in district hates me
>career over
>no state
>last win is the memory of her feeling the same pain because of me
>fuck

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>>670397689
dont 404 \b\by

>>670397817
how come your career is over?

>>670398064
Im a senior and that's the end of the season. I plan on engineering in college and won't be able to wrestle as well, it's too demanding. Maybe casually but still, never the same

dont 404 i still love you

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you cry you lose

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>go on /b/
>go to rekt thread or edgy humor thread
>realise i'm not as terrible a person as these guys
> :3

Sorry, yeah I meant rapes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koX_N8u27qw
>be me at age of 15
>grandpa's business is going really well
>have lots of money
>still ugly as fuck though
>decide I will start being a cool kid
>start going out a lot
>drinking, smoking (cigs) partying hard
>girls start to take interest in my money
>dump my GF so I can fuck whores
>whynot.jpeg
>she didn't spoke to me for an year
>she ended up with my best friend
>don't care if he is ok with it
>we start to feel the global crisis
>we have to sell almost everything
>grandpa decides it will be ok if he invest his last money in a new project
>his partners run away with all his money
>we have to take a mortgage
>start feeling like I am not interested in whores any more
>just too stupid for me
>don't wanna brag, I've just always was good in school
>they did an IQ test for the whole school (back home we have these specialised schools for economics in which I was enrolled against my will, hate money and shit like that)
>turns out I am 141
>so, stop sports and chicks
>continue drinking though
>start writing short stories in my free time
>one day I met her
>her name is K.
>it was love at first sight
>never felt like this before
>insta-crush
>she is smart and cute
>rejected.com
>brush it off and just never see her again
>by this time I am almost 17
>being single, 172cm and 51KG
>people can hardly say I am a boy
will continue

Hmm... You meet someone you think you really connect with, you get the butterflies. You think about them constantly till where it gets to the point you feel like you're going crazy because the feelings you have for that person just keep growing and getting stronger and you don't know what to do. The other person usually reciprocates and the feelings keep building up but then sadly you get to that point where you start getting scared and paranoid you are afraid that they are going leave you and forget about you and all the feelings you thought they had for you will disappear, they come true sometimes, eventually the feelings the other person has for you go away and there's nothing you can do about it but ask yourself why? Was I not good enough? What did I do wrong? Why don't they feel the same for me anymore? Aren't I the same person you fell for in the beginning? What changed? You don't understand. Then you start thinking, it's your fault, you'll keep blaming yourself for why they don't like you or because they've found someone much better than you. That's when it gets tough and painful you'll start thinking you'll never be good enough for anyone to have feelings for you, or when someone does like you it won't last very long..just like the other people who once felt something for you.. Heartbreak happens

I'm sorry anon, but there is nothing left to feel.

>>670380472
Game over. See ya later. Buh-bye now.

More of a list than a story, but fuck it. I'm depressed, my best friend just tried to kill himself for the second time and is in a hospital, my parents couldn't give less of a fuck, my wallet was stolen, my grandfather just died, and the one friend that was still with me Overdosed on drugs and died last month.

>>670380472

Dear twisted nipple lips;

arrogant hello vidya. we killed Trayvon cunnilingus sex foreskin
smeckledorfed anal Niggles 4chan Vaginamens but abattoir niggers
wincest Leaked jewish, spiderMoon Berserk dongs Bitches onomatopeia
DILLETANES hustler did nothing wrong anal raep regretfully and thus
JLaw valiantly fucked wumbo said Presently, therefore, watermelon.
niggers ostentatiously Butt chugging Niggers hypersensitive kek Ovid
warcrimes do'n?t BinLaden wienerwhackers Putin is fucked terrorism In
the anus Buttfucked, also, kikes love reading love /lit/ :theirfor
cockmongler 6Gorrilians Dear /lit/,

arrogant hello vidya. we killed Trayvon cunnilingus sex foreskin
smeckledorfed anal Niggles 4chan Vaginamens but abattoir niggers
wincest Leaked jewish, spiderMoon Berserk dongs Bitches onomatopeia
DILLETANES hustler did nothing wrong anal raep regretfully and thus
JLaw valiantly fucked wumbo said Presently, therefore, watermelon.
niggers ostentatiously Butt chugging Niggers hypersensitive kek Ovid
warcrimes do'n?t BinLaden wienerwhackers Putin is fucked terrorism In
the anus Buttfucked, also, kikes love reading love /lit/ Dear,
enraged OP here, not yet Banterwank Condomboob, faggots
antidisestablishmentarianism pretentious <_< You suck at writing.
roodypoo aids Arisocrats Barack Obama We've got a few good combos so
far >we killed trayvon >putin is fucked > also, kikes love reading
the rest of you suck though ther cute furfag yiffs
GASTHEKIKESRAEWARNOW ????? your Quixote anglo-saxon FUckin' speaked.
white, tits cracker Better version.

Dear /lit/,
Arrogant hello vidya! We killed Trayvon (cunnilingus sex). Foreskin
smeckledorfed anal niggles? 4chan vaginamens, but abattoir niggers
wincest leaked.

Jewish spidermoon naked... berserk, dongs, bitches, onomatopoeia.
DILLENTANTES! Hustler did nothing wrong. Anal raep regretfully, and
thus, JLaw valiantly fucked. Wumbo said "presently therefore
watermelon." Niggers ostenatiously

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>>670380472

>>670383978
That was me yesterday. The feels.

The feels.

>>670384054
Kill yourself.

>>670396747
^this. It's a win win situation. You either die a hero or survive a hero.

>>670380472
see>>670399592

>>670384529
Talk to her, anon.

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>>670377413
I went to Westpoint and hado a sleep walking incident so they said Fuck you, bye. Now I'm here, I know that feel man

http://youtu.be/yLKZTJnoC2w

>>670398682
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMn2odwQ3bY
>still have friends though
>we are an awkward bunch
>pretty much nerds
>we are playing a lot of GAIMZ and going out a lot
>one day we meet K. best friend and she tells me that we need to talk
>K. wants to talk with me
>long story but there was a lot of teenage drama
>finally we are together
>neverbeensohappy
>we are the perfect match
>interest, hobbies, music, plans for the future
>we date for 2 years
>on her birthday I propose to her
>she says yes
>best day ever
>she leaves to study abroad
>plan is I go there next year, hence I will need to work so I can save up money
>really hard working, 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. The summer before she comes home she breaks the engagement
>by this time i've already been admitted to university
>she breaks up with me so she can sleep with the guy she rejected me first for
>i forgot to mention I was her first
>feel horrible
>think best course of action is if I an hero
>get in my car go 150km/h
>I know that there are some turns near my town where people die on a regular basis
>pedaltothemetalbaby
>idk why, 1 km before that I hit the breaks
>turn back
>tell my friends
>all of them say I am crazy and take her side
>people i've known for years
>people for whom i would kill
>no fiancee, no friends, only my future in my uni ahead of me
>fresh start, why not ?
will continue

>>670379854
Don't underestimate the power of Craigslist to stumble upon life changing jobs, I was on their at 3 in the morning a few months ago and now I'm an internationaltrade coordinator lol

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>>670378565
Take it from me buddy, have friends and love what you do or you'll want to kill yourself every time you try to drag yourself out of bed

>>670400575
There*

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bump

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>>670374441
>Grieve
Kill youself

>>670388031
I share your feels anon, I feel hopeless and alone, despite how many people I have around me.

>>670376371
You are a fucking pussy. What do you have to be "oh so depressed" about? Your fucking parents didn't tell you "no" enough, and you got a trophy at little league just because your mom drove you to practice didn't you? You are the epitome of why this country is fucked up. You don't know how to deal with failure, because your pussy ass parents never let you fail. I hope you fucking die a slow painful death, just so you know what it feels like to lose for once. Fuck you do death you pussy ass faggot.

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>>670392158