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>>555978727
>just turned 20
>AA cup nerd GF lays down in bed next to me shirtless
>"I don't like frenching"
>"Don't put your hands down there, I don't like that"
>2 hours of cuddling later she's asleep
>mfw I spent my 20th birthday drunk in a closet on a mattress with a cringe worthy weeabu prude

Dammit Mariah, why did you even take off your shirt and lay down next to me topless??
Sure you were a weeb, but I would've loved to have lost my virginity to you as oppose to that drunken slut Carina I eventually hooked up with.

pic unrelated

>>555978727
What a fucking cocktease

Sounds like someone needs to smack a bitch

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Bumping pathetic thread

>>555980769
alpha as fuck

>>555980769
>tfw no gf with huggy boots for feet

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>>555979838
>not social enough to get into magic the gathering
Jesus Christ

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>tfw realzing highschoolfags have had more sex than you

>>555982052

>tfw realizing there are dogs who have fucked more women than you

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>>555982164
Fuck dogs and anyone who likes dogs
cats masterrace

>>555982292
You better be joking you fucking retard. You piece of shit nigger-kike fagtard

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>>555982414
>not loving cats
Is this your first 12 months on /b/ or something?

>>555981603
fucking pissed me off

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non-cat-loving faggots
I'm going to bed in disgust of you shits

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another beta story of mine
>be at strip club
>friend buys me a lapdance
>not really interested
>Stripper says "Honey you can put your hands on me."
>Me, "Nah I'm good, thanks though."
>Grabs my hands, puts them on her tits and ass.
Mfw, I just wasn't interested at all

>prom season
>6/10 average Mexican femanon friend approaches me during lunch
>be playing Minesweeper in library
>anon, no one's even asked me to prom. probably going to try to prestige tonight or get some gold camos if no one's going to ask.
>I would've gone, but my guild is doing a mission tonight and I'm supposed to assist with forming the party
>lol, okay anon
>bell rings
>realization at 4am
>find out she got asked out as a last resort by some Indian dude
>they're still together, five years later
>think about her at least every other week imaging a family together

>>555981603
>This all the way.

Casually invite her again some other night, get her drunk as fuck till the point she passes out, rape her (I'm serious), and she won't remember a shit.

If she asks if you two did anything, you tell her "If you hadn't drunk so much alcohol we could have done it."

>>555983475
Haha, definitely a great plan.

>>555983265
I hope the guild is still active aswell.

>>555983003
Strip clubs are rubbish

>>555984000
Fuck you for wasting trips.
This means you die in your sleep.

>>555984358
No, dubs and trips generally bring luck. Sometimes even polish prostitutes :^)

>>555984000
nice trips.
>>555984306
yeah, they've never really interested me. I actually feel beta just entering them

>>555978727
I know that feel OP. Similar story
>have grill over
>start to cuddle and make out
>end up just cuddling because she was like a damn sack of potatoes
>later on just feel beta as fuck

You are never alone OP, never.

>>555984487
polish as in shiny, or Polish as in central Europe?
Also, you're a faggot.

>>555984620
sure is summer in here

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>>555978727
>>"Anon, I like to be told what to do, not given an option."
>>Alpha engaged, fine then get in my bed.
>>In bed, lean over, put arm around her, go to kiss.
>>"Sorry anon, I just don't really want to."
>>Rolls over, goes to sleep. I do the same
>>"Anon, I like to be told what to do, not given an option."
>>"Anon, I like to be told what to do, not given an option."
>>"Anon, I like to be told what to do, not given an option."

>>555984719
It's summer everywhere.
Except the Antarctic.
It's winter there.
Hi I'm Dan

>>555984000
nice trips faggot

>>555978727
not really beta, OP
at least you tried!
keep up the good pace

>>555983003

This isn't really beta. I've been to a few stripclubs and for some reason if there is no chemistry I don't enjoy the lapdance. Only two dancers have triggered that reptillian part of my brain that has driven me nuts.

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>>555984620
mfw this guy goes out with a bottle of armor all and tries to polish a prostitute

>>555984831
Actually in the southern hemispher it's fuckin' winter you faggityfag

bump
(for great justce)

>>555984575
happened to me too.

>>555985512
topkek

>>555980769
Got some balls m8.

>18, virgin
>just moved out to work at a school in Spain
>after my class ends my classroom is used by this 9/10 31yo spanish-algerian ergotherapist
>we start talking
>somehow talk about how we both like smoking weed and have much in common
>10 minutes conversations for maybe two months
>is she flirting with me?
>ask her to hang out one weekend, grab some food and walk the city
>get a text from her
>"I can't go out today, but if you want to you can come over in the evening"
>ok
>visit her at home
>she cooked dinner, we smoke some spliffs and get along really well
>talk for 2 hours
>she says she wants to show me a song on her laptop
>laptop in bedroom
>sit on her bed next to her
>she opens the laptop
>picture of her doing a split on the beach as desktop background
>"Oh, I didn't tell you that I'm a part-time yoga instructor"
>she puts on some romantic music
>too much sexy overload in brain
>I just froze
>listened to some romantic song
>she just waited for me to make a move
>I didn't
>I went home confused

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>>555987170
sadly this happened to me more than once

>>555979838
>reverse blade katana
no fucking way that's even possible

>>555983003
>nah I'm good, thanks though
alpha as fuck

>>555987170
At least she tried

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Got a story
>17, was a Junior in High School
>Dating a 5/10 freshman because desperate
>She's had sex, I was a virgin
>Texts every day, and as long as I remember to reply every hour
>She likes sexting
>iamokwiththis.jpg
>wants pictures of me cumming/cumshots etc
>Ok?
>Sends me "dont u wish u came in me ;)"
>Reply "No, actually, not really I'm not ready to be a parent"
>She starts sending ":'(" etc
>mood ruined, spaghetti everywhere
>This happens more than once
>Never actually lost virginity to her
>20 in college now, still haven't lost it

>>555978727
you should noot have raped her ut be more agressive - when she sais she doesnt feel like it press it more. to a point where she either agrees to fuck or slaps you. 80/20 % chance id say

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>be 14
>meet girl through friend
>4/10 face 9/10 body
>chat all the time online
>go on webcam constantly
>she wants to show me her body
>fuckyes
>shows me tits and pussy
>her friend comes round sometimes
>same thing
>she tries to convince me to visit her and her friend
>"come on anon. we'll get a tent and the three of us will go camping"
>she lived a 40 min train journey away and I hated camping
>said no
>why did I think it would get better bros?

>>555979838

>Baldur's Gate

>Elder Scrolls III

Dis Nigga knows what up I aint even mad, would share games with

>>555982292
Spoken like a true faggot.

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>>555978727
>watching game of thrones

OP is faggot. Reason enough,

on cellphone so fuck commas
>be 10th grade
>normie. not very talkative
>get invited to a qts poolparty
>sure i love parties
>get thee with pal
>more crowded than expected. crowds make me nervous
>start chugging down beer. it works
>relax a bit. get more involved in the conversations
>pal is hitting it off with a girl
>decide to get out of the way. take shirt off. dive in pool.
>after a while see party's qt swimming straight to me and surface only inches away
>perfect tits. getting boner. hope no one notices
>"wow anon youre really toned. whats your secret?
>between the cuteness. perfect tits. sexy giggling i already lost
>"t-thanks i just swim a lot. i illike your bool. pool"
>more giggling "let me touch"
>see her hand approaching biceps. dont know what to do. never been flirted with so clearly
>slap her hand. slap her fucking hand...
>couple seconds happen. we are both standing there wide eyed
>say somethin say something "s-sorry im gay"
>what did i just say
>get out of pool
>get out of party
>next day everyone 'knows' im gay
>loose all my confidence that day
>hot girls spend rest of highschool trying to set me dates with dudes
>never could admit i told her i was gay out of nerves. i would tell them thanks but im already dating
>they got excited everytime and wanted to meet my boyfriend
>always had an excuse
> finally finish highschool
>get a gf
>poolparty qt goes same college
>knows my gf
>baffled look on her face when she sees us together
>later tells her about my hs bf
>gf breaks up with me later because shge couldnt quite believe i would build all that farce just because i was nervous
at least we had sex before the breakup...

>>555991686
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I seldom post in such threads, as I seldom have the reason, but

>>555981356
believe me or not, but I know the fucking feel, mate.

>>555988532
See, that's when you have to flip the rape switch on.
It's not rape, she's now letting you rape her. Now rape her.

> be me 13
> participating in a dancing course by super hot girl of my class - enormous boobs over all 7/10
> she has bf whos like 10 years older
> some time when we were driving by car her mother gives me hint like "bf is an obstacle not a reason"
> she tells me when were alone im the best looking guy in class
> never did a move towards here, even when i was alone at night at her home


> be me nearly same age:
> random girls from my "hood" yell at me "hey anon, she loves you"
> getthefuckoutofhere.jpg
> yell "sorry aint got no time"

> be me 24, as b4 two super hot sluts ask me to hold on while im riding my bycicle to town
> guess what i said


i got even moar stories
can i has a prize?

>>555992358
My god. The cringe. She's really a bitch for bringing it up to the gf though. None if her fucking business what you do

>>555979838
I'd have a beer with that guy.

He seems like one of those awesome "that kids" who just had a shitty life as a kid and got shy.

>>555987170
Aw man that was painful

I am literally retarded when it comes to dealing with attraction from the female gender.

>back in freshman year of high school
>girl comes up to me and tells me that her friend who sits next to me in a class is in love with me
>just kind of nod and walk away without giving an answer

>junior year of high school
>go to party
>9/10 brunette I knew through mutual friends sits next to me
>talking to a friend at the time and everything I said the girl was giggling at
>friend leaves and the girl and I just sit there in silence because I'm retarded
>party fizzles out and everyone left is sitting in a room joking around
>girl comes in late, no seats left
>sees me, smiles and then sits on my lap
>I spend the rest of the party not socializing or talking and just try to focus on keeping my boner down, I don't know why
>girl forever thinks I'm weird and/or gay

>senior year
>prom season rolls around
>junior girl I had been talking to all year starts pulling this "I really wish someone would take me to senior prom" junk
>never invite her
>a friend of mine who was also a cute brunette suggests a friend and I go with her and a friend
>my friend proposes he takes her while I get her friend
>she claims that the other way around would be better
>never followed up on it and she just went with her friend while my friend found another girl
>girl I've had a crush on since middle school
>she's had feelings for me for a while now apparently
>I procrastinate with asking her and she just ends up going with a male friend last minute
>never went to prom

And that's not even the end of all this

>>555992358

Top fucking lel, bro.

Heres mine;

>13
>at that age everyone starts kissing and shit
>never really focused on grills before that
>girl asks me do i want to kiss her
>ive never even though that grils wants to be kissed
>i was a fucking kid, spending my time playing and exploring
>i say yes
>later that day we are ealking along and we pull away from the group
>shes got her hood up and she tells me to kiss her
>couldnt see through her hood shadow to her face
>lean in, oh shit its happening whatdoido thisiswhyboysneedadad
>she tilts her head toward mine, i turn mine to the side slightly
>shes ready, im ready, were fucking gettin her done bitches
>i can smell her perfume now it smells nice
>i close my eyes as she does too
>almost there keep going
>lick her face
>she runs away
>i run away
>never tried it since, 8 years ago.
>been to afraid of fucking it up again
>fuck these kids with their growing up too fast, the little cunts. Ruined my life, could have been fucking the legs off some highend sluts right now.

>>555978727
Not beta, you did what you could man. You can't make her like you

>>555990921
I understand missing subtle signsls but there is no hope for you, anon. An hero asap

>>555978727
Here is what the world wont tell you, you push it. No is a yes if you push it, your not suppose to touch woman with out their approval, but you do so any way. Grabbing girls asses who you barely know will get you laid faster then getting to know her more. As long as you don't act like a creepy virgin it will get you laid.

It pisses me off because I can't get to know a girl with out getting friend-zoned, I always have to be forceful, and in that scenario I don't respect her. I was crushing on a girl at work for the longest time, trying to build a meaningful relationship. She ends up on some guys dick a few days after meeting him, and then has the gull to come on to me once she finds out I had gotten a girlfriend.

I can't find the middle ground.

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>>555984828
This so much.

>>555992358

THAT IS THE SINGLE BEST THING I HAVE READ ALL DAY!
Screen capping the fuck outta that!

>>555982040
this is so stupid it HAS to be fake

Sucks that I'm beta with chicks. Most other things I'm fine with, talking to people, get on well with them usually, but when it comes to initiating relationships my brain goes all "WTF is this shit you trying?" Anyway, story time;

>18th birthday party
>Decide to invite all the bros and hoes that I could think of instead of actual good mates etc
>Every fucker turns up late, claims "pre-drinks" etc.
>Proceed to get high and realise that one chick who lives a block away still hasn't turned up yet
>"Time to get me that slut, guys, back soon"
>Walk round to her place drunk and high as fuck, in the space of 5 mins I'm inside her room (All her doors are unlocked, just walked in the front door)
>Hear the shower stop as I smash into the doorframe, think that it's a good idea to announce my presence
>Chick comes out of the ensuite/shower with no towel, fingering her vag
>Daaamn.jpg
>She asks if I want to have some fun with her, proceed to fuck and cum in her ass while feeling her up a bit and kissing her neck
>Get back to party half an hour later and no-one is even aware that I was gone or she was arriving.

TK;DR? Fucked a chick in the ass on my 18th birthday but still (by my standard anyway) a virgin with no meaningful female contact or interest. As one of my mates quite bluntly put it, "You're one of the only guys I know that wouldn't fuck a chick in the pussy when she's naked in front of you and asking for it."

>>555978727
this has nothing to do with how you look, but the fact that you didn't take charge and made her please you. women love to please men its a fucking fact.

lemme guess, the scene she got turned on by had something to do with forced sex or nudity or whatever as long as it was taking advantage of the women.

how to react instead? when she told you " i just don't really want to" you should have said "I'm afraid you don't have a choice" and watch her face. if shes like this "pretend" shocked but still allows you to continue just fucking take her. if she goes "anon you're scaring me" you gtfo her out of your bed and go to sleep

what happened to your dad, mate.

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>>555995039
>>555995039
The fuck is wrong with you? You want to build up a meaningful relationship? The ask that girl to be your fucking girlfriend THEN you get to know her. Don't even fuck her for a few weeks. You're too worried about getting your dick wet to even give a real relationship a chance, faggit.

>>555978727

>13
>at a farewell party with family and friends
>8/10 brunette close friend ask me to come and play at her house with her friends.
>my sisters begging to come
>why not

>play partner hide and seek
>the brunette beg me to be her partner
>sure
>we hid in balcony on a hidden room in 3rd floor, almost impossible to find us
>5 minutes passes. nobody found us yet.
>we play I spy with my little eyes etc whilst waiting to be caught
>nobody found us
>decide to head back, but the door to the balcony is locked for some reason
>"anon I think you have to stay here for tonight"
>think about my science project tomorrow

>Hot as fuck even though it's night (middle east summer)
>"Anon, it's getting hot. Why don't we take off our clothes and maybe use it as blanket?"
>Really worry about my science project
>I yell and bang on the door hoping for someone to find us.
>My sister found me
>Brunette ask me to sleepover at her house with her
>Decline because science project

That was the last time I met her.

>>555996387

KEK the guy could just lean his head to one side out of the path of the bullet..

This is why all of the worlds machinery is deigned by men.
Women dont think things through properly.

>>555995940
>has sex
>still a virgin

>"Anon, I like to be told what to do, not given an option."
>Alpha engaged, fine then get in my bed.
>In bed, lean over, put arm around her, go to kiss.
>"Sorry anon, I just don't really want to."
>Rolls over, goes to sleep. I do the same

SO TELL HER YOU FUCKING RETARD.
ASSUME COMMAND!

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>>555979838
Not even gunna lie, I'm jelly of that katana. Rurouni kenshin was the shit.

>>555984000
I kek'd

Nice trips

I don't do well with meeting new people. My defence mechanism is speaking in a foreign language, usually French since that's my second language. Here's one of those instances.

>be 19
>very antisocial
>Have to go to college orientation
>Put into group with a bunch of other people that I have nothing in common with at all
>Lunch period comes
>8/10 girl from a different group finds me and tries to talk to me with this really flirty tone
>Try to say something, but I'm really fucking nervous because I don't talk to people all that well
>I put my tablet down and say
>"Je suis désolé, je ne vous comprends pas."
>She frowns and goes away
>Spend the rest of the orientation pretending I don't speak English at all because everyone thinks I only speak French at this point
>My SOA, the bubbliest 7/10 girl I ever did see, thinks this is the funniest shit and keeps telling people that I'm foreign
>So beta that I have to roll along with it

>>555979838
Tfw you've gone to the barber with the RE4 game case and asked for a Leon haircut when you were 14 ;_;

I swear I have

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I was feeling bad. Reading all these has made me realise that i'm not completely retarded. Thanks /b/rothers.

>>555996635
Okay, yeah, technically I'm not a virgin anymore. But it's not like I can say that 10 mins of fucking a slut in the ass is really comparable to vaginal intercourse with a girl that ain't a massive whore. It's kinda like smoking a cigarette once, you can't say you're a smoker. (Bad analogy in my case, actually do smoke)

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>be 15
>in class, teacher is out of the room getting something.
>8/10 chick walks over and asks me if I'd like to go on a date with her
>she's one of the more popular people and I'm that guy that can hang out with any of the groups but doesn't actually belong to any of them because I can't make that strong a connection with people.
>So I'm assuming she's joking
>say something like yeah right, funny in a sarcastic way
>found out years later that she was serious and I really hurt her by shutting her down in front of the whole class

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>>555984828
>>555995170
Christ. I thought I was gunna have to lurk through the whole thread before I found a real man.

>>555992358

sure you're just not gay?

>>555978727

Eh it's a 17 year old girl. Although I'm not morally against it, it's best you didn't for legal reasons. Also, getting a girl like that pregnant would suck.

>>555997328
but being a smoker is defined by a habit while being a virgin is defined by the absence of an event. so you're not a virgin, technically or practically

>be 14
>virgin
>8/10 girl in school asks if I want to follow her into the bathroom and take her virginity
>wanted to say yes but was too scared and said no

>be 16
>meet girl through friend and gets her number
>next week she calls me and tells me she's horny and wants to fuck me
>i had a cold and said i can't because i'm too sick
>she says she wants to ride me, i don't have to do anything so it wont exhaust me
>say no thanks
>she hangs up
>why did i do that

>19
>still a virgin

Godamn you fags suck. Why are you so embarrassed about your boners? If some hot chick gave me wood I'd tell her to stroke my bulge.

>>555981989
Fucking get out summer
You damn lackie

>>555997926
Accepted. I suppose a better way to put it is that I didn't lose my virginity the way I would have liked then? Still sucks.

>>555978727
>"Sorry anon, I just don't really want to."

You were Beta at first, but she was just a bitch.

>be me ,17
>go to pizza hut to buy some pizza to eat alone at home like the beta bitch i am
(too beta for home delivery)
>qt girl qt counter
>dontfuckthisup.gif
>proceed to speak but look at menu card cuz too beta
>girl asks'takeaway?'
> 'no, parcel, i mean,yes,takeaway,you know.....i mean......'
>girl just looks at me
>cant stop the spagetti
>run out of the store
>mfw too beta

>>555998097

so basically you're saying you've never gotten a hard dick cause of a hot chick?

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>>555979838
>but alas, I'm not a very social creature
Yeah no fucking shit

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>be 18
>friends with 7/10 girl for years
>go out drinking with friends and her
>everyone is shitfaced, I am moderately drunk (heavyweight master race)
>when moderately drunk I am a massive wet blanket
>end up having to stay awake all night to make sure other people don't do anything they would regret (no protection and the only girl wasn't on the pill)
>have to help her hobble to the thunderbox to barf 3-4 times that night
>a few days later she tells me that she did have feelings for me but not anymore
>mfw her reaction essentially was that I got brotherzoned

>>555995940
holy fucking shit, this post man... gotta grab some sunglasses, because the summer is strong in that shit

>>555992358
>slap her hand. slap her fucking hand...

Now that's just too far.

Like come on, there's spaghetti, then there's physically stopping a qt3.14 touching your "really toned" biceps violently.

Like shit nigga that's Autism

>hanging out with friends
>go to pick one up
>didn't get his text that he has to work until I arrived
>his hot sister called me over from her back yard
>she asks me why I came if her brother was at work
>explain and then jokingly ask if she wants to come instead
>she accepts and we leave
>just end up watching a few movies
>friend's sis is cuddling against me all night
>I take her home
>she asks if I want to go in since she's home alone and doesn't feel like sleeping yet
>say yes and we just sit on her couch watching tv
>she tells me to wait while she changes
>comes back in a tight as shit tank top and boyshorts
>says we should go to her room since she feels like laying down
>both lying on her bed looking at shit on our phones
>she gets tired and like wraps herself around me then falls asleep after a few minutes
>sit there for a while and then get ballsy enough to start touching her, when she's asleep, after hinting so many times that she wanted to bang
>still really nervous about touching her but I place my hand on her ass and just kind of massage it with my hand
>eventually fall asleep and wake up to this girl shoving her hand down my pants
>pretend to be asleep as she fondled me
>she gets bored seeing that I'm not waking up and gets up
>I wait til the coast is clear and get up
>she comes back with a towel and asks if I need to shower
>say no and just spaghetti out of there

At this point I think I'm going to fuck her the next time I see her since I have been a virgin for another year or so after this. Might have to resort to rape since obviously I'm too dumb to do this whole seduction thing.

>>555998664

No, I get it some action when it gets hard.

>>555998926
Not gonna start a massive argument about this because I can't be fucked, but that is written pretty much how it happened. 2 years on and I still haven't found a gf, shit's pretty depressing when I think that the only experience I've had is with a bitch that I haven't talked to or seen since.

>>555993420
That girl sounded like a whore. I'm sure "like 10 years older" was a figure of speech, but at 13 years old (assuming she was the same age as you) the age gap is much more prevalent. A 13 year old dating a 17 year old is a bit much.


Also, that night you were over at her house...Was she still dating her boyfriend? If that's the case then she seems like a tramp for having another guy over at her house while she's dating someone else. I know she was young, but still.

>say no and just spaghetti out of there

Idiot

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>>555987170

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>>555998278
Mfw your story is like the only one in here that I can relate to because I lost my virginity at 13 to a sixteen year old who I didn't even really like.

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>>555999205
>to dumb to do seduction
Nigga, you didn't need seduction, you had a chick already fondling you fiddley bits. What the fuck man?

>>555999205
>>555999205

well man, this has nothing to be with being dumb... this is really what separates the betas from the men.

the amount of signs she gave you are ridiculous, at that point really all she wants is for you to take what you want.. next time you're in a situation laying down with a girl just sit on top of her and push her hands down next to the sides of her head and say, I want to try something... and go in for the kiss. Cause this moment also separates the teasers from the fun girls, if she says she doesn't want to then you're better off saying "okay so I'm not wasting any more time here then" and leave.. it will fuck up the entire tease she was working with and will probably leave her overthinking the whole situation for days.

>>555998030
The first one would of been a win win.

A. You don't get caught, but got to fuck a chick.
B. You get caught. "What was anon suspended for?" "Dude, I heard he got caught fucking a chick in the bathroom."

>>555983265
>anon, no one's even asked me to prom. probably going to try to prestige tonight or get some gold camos if no one's going to ask.
>I would've gone, but my guild
>realization at 4am
>I like my guild moar than pussay

>>555998150
This is terribly cancerous bait, extra points for projecting your newness on someone else hoping no on will notice you're a faggit.

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>>556001094
Oh, heaven. You have such a way with words

>>556000895
I realise that. I still fap to the idea of it happening :'(

>>555996387
but see his side, a girl broke up with me (when I fucking asked her out without knowing her) because she said she wanted to get to know me before we started dating. The pendulum swings both ways

>be 15
>lunch time in school
>some girl is approaching
>3/6
>asks if i have a girlfriend
>say no
>asks if i want her to be my girlfriend
>say no thanks or something like that
>not giving a fuck


>be 22
>met some girl shortly before hard exam
>after exam go for a beer or two with group of ppl
>she's drunk, wants to walk me home
>in bus ride she fell on the floor
>omgwtfembarrassingmoment
>we arrive at my doorstep
>she kisses me on the lips, says and walks away
>fast forward few weeks
>we were meeting at least 2 times a week in my house to watch some movie.
>all the time lying next to each other
>me starting caressing her face, hair, back etc.
>not turned down, obviously she's into me
>one time i decide to go further and kiss her neck and then go all in
>leaning towards her
>touching her neck with my lips, starting to give a passionate kiss
>she wriggles and says "what you want?"
>execute panic.exe
>"nothing"
>WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DID I JUST SAID?!
>watch the rest of the movie in silence, walk her home.
>meet few times for a movie after that
>nothing happens
>we stop texting and seeing each other.

Fuck.

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>Be 18 or 19
>Kissless, touchless, absolutely awkward virgin beta
>Be working at this department store for about year or so
>Somehow land a management role
>We get some new hires
>One of them is a 6/10 grill who looks kind of like Paula Dean (that wide eyed expression all the time
>Introduce my self to her because I'm supposed to be respectful like that I guess
>"Hey, I'm anon. If you have any questions feel free to ask me, I know the training here kind of sucks"
>She giggles
>Proceeds to ask me all these questions about my life
>"Do you go to school?" "What do you do in your free time?" "What sort of things are you into" etc.
>Start freaking out because I've never had a girl interested in me like this before
>Just kind of shrug it off and give her non answers, "hah, I don't know really"
>Go out of town for about a week
>Come back and have to close with Paula Dean
>She's enthralled to see me
>First thing she says to me "So.....when are you taking me out to dinner"
>Heat spaghetti until boiling and add salt for taste
>Panicing, try to figure out a way to get out of this
>"Uhh...I need to clock in or I'll be late!"
>Run into the bathroom that was right next to her
>The rest of the night she tries everything in her power to get to work with me, she even flat out asks one of the other managers if she can work along side me
>Other manager says yes
>Now I have this girl following me around as I awkwardly splerg all over the place
>Keeps asking me weird questions
>"So outside of work what kind of clothes do you wear?"
>"Uhh...I don't know"
>Have no idea how she's still interested in me, as I've given her nothing so far and I must come off as a huge awkward loser
>Asks if she can have my phone number
>Acquiesce at her request
>For the next few weeks she texts me all the time asking if we can hang out but I always think of an excuse
>Eventually I splerg out one night and ask her why she's so interested into me even though I'm so boring or something like that
cont

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>>556001461
Fine. Take her on dates. You can't just "be friends and get to know each other". That's what makes you friend zoned. It needs to be clear there is relationship interest only.

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/fit/ here
>in class
>minding my own shit
>qt walks up
>"wow anon, your ripped, whats your secret?"
>with out even thinking I just jokingly say
>"I do many pushups and drink plenty of juice"
>qt's facial expression changed
>looks at me like I just said the weirdest thing
>walks away
And that's how I learned to never use anime references to pick up girls

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>>556002757
>She tells me she thinks I'm cute blah blah blah
>Still too awkward or weird, the thought of going on a date makes me have a mild stroke
>This goes on and on for weeks
>One day she stops working there because she's moving or something
>Fuckingfinally.pdf.jpg.rtf
>Act like I'm really happy and proud that she's going to school or whatever, instead of sad that she's leaving like she wants me to
>My phone was really old and on the verge of dying
>She still texted me here and there
>Last text I got from her was her saying "hey"
>My phone died and I had to get a new one with a new number
>Mfw she never got any closure from me and will probably be forever confused why she couldn't get this one awkward loser to go out with her

>>555997345
Top kek, Beta turning into Alpha.

>be 15
>never had attention from anyone of the opposite sex before
>5/10 face, 7/10 body boy shows interest
>exchange nudes couple of times
>boy asks to hang out
>decides to play hard to get
>attends party
>party turns out to be shit
>boy never asks to hang again

lel fuck

>>556003119
I'm confused annon...did you not like her?

>>556003435

>boy never asks to hang again
>we gradually stop doing anything online
>only time it was irl was when he stroked my thigh
>never speak to each other again
>probably not going to get attention from anyone soon

>>556003119

lol don't think too much of it bro, sounds like she's never been with a guy before.. and around the age of 19 all girls end up with some boyfriend who will steal their heart away. You probably could have been that guy but now it's going to be some random douche and she'll forget about you. besides... you're the one memorizing the full story and thinking it's beta while in fact you're feeling regret for not having taken the chances. actually, you will probably be forever confused why you couldn't get yourself to get with her.

>>555990236
Don't fucking even worry about it dude, some freshman in HS did this to me too, she kept asking me to be friends with benefits with her and i was kind of apprehensive because I had known her only for a week, then got pregnant and married immediately after highscool ended with a mexican

>senior year
>girl i've been crushing on since 9th grade starts talking to me
>seem to be friends
>imokaywiththis.jpg
>comes over to table where my friend and i sit
>"prom is tomorrow, are either of you going?"
>friend and i look at each other
>lolno
>"guess i'm gonna be bored then"
>walks away
>go back to talking about vidya and graphics cards
>realise how retarded I am two weeks later

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>>555987170

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>>555990236
you did good bro

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>Be me
>Currently talking to qt3.14 submissive Aussie girl
>Likes to be told what to do
>Has high sex drive
>Had "sex" through mic/webcam
>Too beta to demand anything from her
>Feels like she's losing interest
>Can't do anything about it
;_;

>>556004486
James?

>>555983265
cod/10 would not fantasize about.

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ITT: omegas trying to feel better about themselves
< you

>>556004763
Nope.

>she clearly is into me
>do absolutely nothing
>leave her in the dust one day and don't look back after refusing to give her contact details
>five years later I still can't forget her

>>555978727
>Be 17
>Lost my virginity to some gf 3 years before, nothing since
>Texting a different ex who says she needs sex after breaking up with bf
>Didn't fuck her before
>nowsmychance
>Go round, feeling alpha as fuck
>Start kissing, and start touching eachother
>Go to have sex and my dick goes floppy as fuck
>Go down on here foe like 10 minutes, she's not enjoying it and my dick is still as far from erect as possible
>Leave and go to pub
>Get told my breath smells like vagina
>Lie and act alpha and pretend I got laid or something
>Drown my sorrows

> 17, before homecoming
> getting ready to do calc independent study
> girl comes over and asks me to ask her friend out (with the help of her other friends)
> no, can we do math or what?

ffw

> girl is persistent, long time crush of mine
> she starts trying to hangout with me on off period
> starts hanging out with me
> girl is Alpha, tells me she loves me
> together for last 8 months
> best time of my life

>>555993420
"Sorry, I'm not feeling HIV positive." ?

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>be 18
>'nother friend throws huge birthday party
>120 people or so there getting drunk as shit
>me and buddies arrive
>5 shots
>start dancing
>I'm dancing like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfOa1a8hYP8 'cause drunk
>chicks are digging it apperently
>make out with random chick
>getting tired of dancing
>go out for smoke
>random dudes got weed
>a lot
>"wanna smoke?"
>fuckyes.webm
>we find an old abandoned house
>roll joint
>50/50 hash/tobacco
>get high as fuck
>back to party
>standing outside enjoying the wind on my face
>random girl from before approaches
>"heeyyyy, you're pretty hot"
>i turn to her
>"thanks"
>walk away

i hate high me...

>be in 6th grade
>apparently handsome
>had two girls crushing over me
>both qt Mexicans grills
>one of them always smiled and giggled around me and gossiped loudly in the classroom
>other would pull me out if my circle of friends to literally admire me without saying anything
>was too shy to do anything

>be 14
>p e
>it was raining so we had to walk around the gym
>8/10 girl gives me bedroom eyes everytime we pass
>squeezes my arm
>"aw, no muscle."
>tfw

>be 16
>started crushing on another Mexican looking girl
>she had an identical twin
>was insanely quiet, like typical quiet girl kawaii bullshit
>always by herself in p e
>always went to a certain classroom with her sister to pass lunch or breaks
>talked to her
>wanted to ask her to prom
>she moved

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>>555978727
>be me
>ugly as shit
>have never talked to a girl
> have never looked at a girl
>one day I go out to get mail from mail box
>see mail girl
>10/10
>try to hide but she notices me
>she waves a friendly hello
>I have never been acknowledged by a girl in my life
>Confidence gets raised
>She always comes and delivers my mail
>read up online on dating tips
>someone online said to propose to her
>waste half of my savings on a ring
>propose next day
>says she will give me an answer tomorrow
>tomorrow comes
>random guy now as mail man
>ask what happened to girl?
>says she quit
>mfw I could have had her but wasn't persistent enough

>>555994404
Your entire text is a clusterfuck and horrible to read.
Sorry but I had to say it.

>>555990236
I say good dodge, anon

If you faggots ever end up sharing a bed with a woman that ends up sleeping instead of fucking.
You want to know what to to then?

If its warm outside just throw the blanket on her until she wakes up from the heat.
If its cold just remove the blanket and she will wake up from the cold.
When she is awake (do this right and she wont understand that you woke her up) you can put your moves on.

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>be 15
>sit next to an S-American chubby, 6/10 with huge tits
>always talking with her
>eventually start talking about sex and shit
>she left her bf
>always joke about her tits
>"anon, stop staring my tits" - she clearly enjoyed that
>one day after saying something of her breasts
>"anon, I bet I could give you a boner only watching at you"
>spaghetti.jpg
>change immediately of topic

>another day just when I was about to go home
>"hey anon, do you smoke? I have tobacco..!"
>"n-no tobacco is bad for the health"

>another day, I had a new mobile phone
>"wow anon, it's your new phone? can I see it?
>"no, you can't, it's not free"
>"oh I can't? maybe for a blow job you'll let me see that phone..."
>puts her hand in my leg, next to the dick
>spaghetti all over the floor
>I-I-I-I was kidding, here you have the phone.
>don't open the mouth during the rest of the day

pic related, it's her

>>555998685
You were a bro. She's just a bitch.

>>556004834
Damn nigger.
I'm sexy

>>556004486
Give me her email. You're wasting a fine girl.

>>556004486
Does her name start with a C?

>>556005950
Did you wear your fedora like the guy in the vid?

>>556005421
>your breath smells like vagina.
Who says that?

>>555978727
where do you live
was the hungarian girl hot?

>>555978727
>I like being told when not givin' the option
>Says she doesn't really want to"

You should of not givin' her the option.

You fucked up.

Not sure if cringe or not but it's about me

>Be in CC taking summer classes
>Cute girl always looks at me and glances back where I sit
>last day of class was yesterday
>fuck it i'll ask her out on a date
>according to my friends she looked at me more and more and waited for me to turn in my exam until she turned her exam in
>i leave class and wait for her
>she starts walking off
>i tell her to wait and long story short i ask her on a date
>gives me her number and says she wants to get to know me more and see me more
>text her five hours later
>she texts back three hours later with a "oh, hi! :)"
>go for a run and leave phone at home
>come back and text her
>doesn't text back

i think i fucked up and i feel beta

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I got a couple

>year 9 (UK)
>playing some faggot/alpha game where we slap girls asses
>they're our friends, playing along
>one girl comes up to me
>asks for hug
>hug her
>grab ass cheeks with both hands
>lets me
>she runs to her friends
>"you're my boyfriend now"
>say no
>mfw

a couple more to come maybe

>>556008862
nah i forgot that at home

>>556009310
And then did your bowtie spin round and you squirted her with water and ran away?

>be 17 yr old junior
>crushing on friend that's 18 yr old senior
>get her in my parents basement
>watching Eraserhead
>it's on
>hardcore makeout and feelin up
>pull her pants down
>qt underwear with cherry on vag
>fingering her, she's tight and ready to go
>hear parents walking around upstairs
>can't get it up
>ask her to go down on me a little
>she is immediately bummed out
>she eats dinner with my family and I and then leaves

not sure if flaccid because of parents upstairs or Eraserhead

>>556009339

>"heeyyyy, you're pretty hot"
>i turn to her
>"thanks"
>walk away

Im only kidding anon

What you did would be considered pretty "Alpha" anyway

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>>556009310
Next up

>year 9 again
>different school, i'm new
>go to tech class, 8/10 qt sits next to me
>starts putting hearts and shit in my books
>next lesson asks me to hug her
>pretend i cant hear her
>asks me like 3 times
>turn around and hug her
>im too tall, shoulder almost knocks her head off
>others girls in class say "aww cute"
>qt asks me a few times to go skate park with her
>say no its too far away
>mfw

>be 17
>drink with 2 classmates and niece of classmate
>female classmate is also 17 her boyfriend 18 and her niece 16
>female friends boyfriend drinks too much starts puking
>completely knocked out on my couch puking on everything
>female friends niece puking as well
>take her to my bed
>tell female friend to help me clean the fucking puke
>she says she is too lazy wants to lay down
>lays down next to her niece tell me to join
>we watch television while her niece cuddles with me
>watch sex hotline ads and talk about the women
>female friend starts rubbing arm and I am too shy to make a move
>her niece wakes up a few minutes later starts to randomly kiss my face
>I push her away because of puke smell
>Realize I am between an aunt and her niece and both kind of want me while one of the girls boyfriend sleeping next room
>the thought of failing drives me mad
>scared they would tell everybody
>lay there like the ultimate beta
>4 years later and I still regret that I was such a huge pussy
>one of the girls thinks I am asexual
>FUCK

Now it would turn out differently but I was such a retard back then. No confidence at all.

>>556003027
woodmarry/10

>>555992393
fucking newfag

>>555984828
that could have very quickly turned very fucking creepy.

not giving her the option of having sex is fucking risky territory man.

>>555997836
The legal age is not 20 everywhere... It's 14 where I live actually...

>>556009795

also, not sure if beta or not

>be 20
>fuck my crazy horny ex
>get a call from qt 18 yr old i've been pursuing
>she wants me to come over to watch movies
>watching movies and she leans over and kissing me
>hardcore makeout commences
>she starts grabbing my ass
>she starts putting her hand down the front of my pants
>suddenly realize I still have nasty vagina all over my dick from earlier in the day and haven't showered
>stop her and say "whoa, slow down"
>she gets majorly bummed
>try to put the moves on her a couple more times weeks later
>no dice
>we stop talking

>fast forward a couple years later
>see her at show, talk and catch up
>she seems interested
>say i'm meeting another girl that night
>she says "I must have waited too long... you know, you could have had me"
>last time I talked to her

it's now 7 years later, still dating that girl I was meeting at the show. still jerk off thinking about fucking the girl I blew it with

>be 15 in cape cod, america
>on a sunny as fuck beach
>little kid comes over to me, points at a cute girl in a bikini
>"my sister thinks you're hot"
>me - "cool"
>do nothing
to be fair i was 15 and with my family

>>556012925
this is in a gray area between alpha and beta if you ask me

>>556013438
i think it was just beta. but i believe i have an excuse, that being that picking up girls around your parents is weird.

apparently american bitches love scottish accents.

>>556009238
Give her some time, how longs it been?

>>556014482
depends on what you were thinking at the time i guess but the sober recollection has an alpha taste

>>556003792
Go back to tumblr. Landwhale.

>>556014886
also, kek'd

>>555998685
That picture was me at parties as a teenager...

>>555984358
every time trips are wasted, an angel gets its wings

>>555987170
>she went to bed wondering what she did wrong
>10/10 alpha as fuck

>>555995940
it's a lonely place, being ahead of your time

>>555999205
>both lying on her bed look at shit on our phones

our species is doomed

>>555983003
if anything, paying for lapdances is beta in and of itself.
you are alpha anon for rejecting that nasty whore

>>556010237
FUCK. Why didn't you go? I don't understand this turning down girls.
It doesn't matter though, because I'm an ugly, strange person, that girls never talk to. But if they did, I wouldn't do shit like that

>18
>virign
>First week at college
>Re-create self into the alpha I could be
>Fake it till you make it
>Holy shit it works
>Homecoming party
>Meet 6/10 Egyptian girl on molly
>Spit game
>Begin to make out
>Get her to my room
>im drunk, shes rolling face
>Have sex
>She has no idea i was a virgin
>No regrets

>>555982292
Hate dogs all you want, at the end of the day they still love you.
Guess that just makes you a bitch doesn't it?

>>555982593
fuck you. dog /b/ros unite

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>>556018705
fuck you

>>555978727
>Haven't had pussy in a good 4 months
>18 Semi-Beta, I still have hope
>chubby girls invites me over to "cuddle"
>Cuddle clearly means fuck
>Watch Weeds, try to cuddle her but she's fucking wider than me....
>Struggling to get a boner
>Finger her after playing with her breasts and making out
>It's time
>Rip her pants off and jam my cock in the meat cavern that is fat girl pussy
>Pump for 10 minutes while she's moaning like a sexually starved whore
>Cum
>Tfw it wasn't even as good as cumming after jacking off....
>Make her suck her disgusting pussy smegma off my cock
>Watch another episode
>Leave
>Feel indifferent
It was the least enjoyable sex I've ever had.... Haven't fucked a girl since and that was a month ago.

Now I'm contemplating enlisting so I don't kill myself from the boredom that working at McDonalds as a shitty college student causes.

>>555983265
I hate girls who think they're cute gamer girls just cuz they play cod

>>555995376
le epic xDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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>be 19
>meet this hot blond at college party
>get talking, mention i'm a master at massages
>hot blonde is all like you should give me a massage sometime
>persistent
>eventually go to hers a few days later to administer massage
>shelikesit.jpg
>likes it so much she takes off her shirt
>"it's getting in the way tee hee"
>i finish massage
>"whelp, my hands are tired, guess i'll go home now"
>went home
>sigh

>>555982292
Hey check it out, its a faggot

>>555987170
I cried reading this

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>be 23
>just moved to new york city
>waiting for the subway
>reading 'love in the time of cholera'
>hotty mchotbutt walks up
>"hey anon, is that book good?"
>book is pretty good, actually
>so good i was really into it
>look up "yes." return to book
>three stops later realized she was moist for marquez
>mfw

>>555991686
ultimate virgin detected

>>555979838
I have that same katana and im slightly akward, but i still get around , gawd. im lying to you

>>555987170
You have trancended beta
You are officially zeta

>>556009075
OP is back, sorry guys had to drive. Yeah she was pretty hot maybe about an 8/10

>>556019363
>le
>epic
>xD
fuck off you cancerous faggot

>>555978727
don't worry op
i know dem feels

>have grill over
>cuddling with grill
>grill burns the fuck out of me
>steaks are done

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>>555978727

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>be me
>be 24
>get invited to party by chick my roomie is banging off-and-on
>she's a stripper
>six tongue piercings
>hang out, get all drunk
>talks to me all night
>it's late, time to go home
>"anon, you can just crash in my room"
>"no thanks, i only live like fifteen minutes away"
>go home, joylessly masturbate

years later i would get forcibly blown by the same chick in a bar bathroom so i guess it evens out

>>556020498
She has been talking to me on Facebook today, apologising about turning me down, and wants to hang out next week

>>556020536
speaking of cancer, how are you today you puss filled self inebriated, incestuous dick gargling faggot?

>>556020645
>ITT stories that never happened

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>>556021041
;) that's pretty fuckin funny

*turns my back to you and chuckles* but... not as funny as whats about to happen now *unsheathes katana and readies Sanzetsu no Jitsuzhi style stance*

>>556021363
ha if you say so

>>555983265
Fucking retard. I literally know retarded people that have more sense than you.

>>555987170
You have trancended beta
You are officially zeta

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>>556021421
You'r not gonna penetrate me with that little thing are you?

>Deflects with reflective shield

>>556021363
>ITT faggot has nothing to contribute so declares all stories as false

>>555990236
"No" to a sexual advance is always alpha, don't beat yourself up

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>>556022015
Oh we have a tough guy here huh....... *unsheathes my twin katanas* Well, let's see how tough you really are! *jumps into the air* TAAAAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIS *spins around and slashes your face open* Not so tough now, huh????? *grabs you and throws you up* It's time to finish this little charade *holds my katanas above my head* YOU ARE FINIIIIISHEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps upwards so that you get impaled on my swords* Heh.... easy.....

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>>555997167
I pictured this with the only guy I know who speaks French, and cracked up. Dude's an asocial goon who almost never speaks.

sage this shit.. summerfags are emerging.

>>556018705
Yeah, fake it till you make it is the best advice for the faggots on /b/. It's not too hard and it works, even if your autism shows once in a while, most of the time they don't notice.

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>>556022684
>Wakes up from weaboo dream of swordfighting
>How long have i been out?
>the guy next to me has drowned in his own vomit
>realize where i am
>panic a bit but calm down
>"iv been here too long to panic again"
>Man, i wanna get off this ride
>i wanna get off this ride
>i want to get off this ride...

You can never escape your fate

>high school
>virgin beta
>shitty dance coming up
>friend: "I can get anyone a girl"
>me: "bet you can't for me"
>make bet, shake hands, grill is supposed to come at dance
>mitebekool.exe
>show up at dance, no sign of grill
>ask friend
>"Oh she thought it was a joke and didn't come"

topkek.svg

>>555998030
Because your a fucking moron

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>>555995940
Nice breeze out today

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>17 year old
>Ex gf at my home, she has a boyfriend now which I really hate
>talk about some shit - school, life and sex
>"urgh, anon, the sex is horrible. you were way better"
>alpha mode engaged
>"yeah.. it's a shame i couldn't show you everything I got"
>she leans her head on my shoulder
>alpha mode dropped, spaghetti mode engaged
>she looks up to me, like she wants a kiss
>me thinking "should I, should I not"
>think fucking 5 mins about doing it
>"yeah well anon I gotta go again. Thanks for the talk"
>fml

Two mounths later, we actually fucked again, but she was single. But this was the first and only time in my life I went full spaghetti.

>be walking to class one day
>7/10 girl with big ole titties walks up to me
>"nice shoes, anon"
>open my mouth to say thanks but nothing comes out but a faint squeak
>she gives me a confused look
>run in the other direction leaving a trail of spaghetti
>hear her friends all giggling in the background

>>556023269
fucking smirked

Lol this all reminds me of being an early teenager, had no idea I was cute and gained a few stories from that.

>be me, 13
>have social friends that are taller, louder guys with social experience
>albanian exchange student and her older sister come to our school
>Doesn't know anybody but lanky friend befriends her and she takes a liking to me
>was about 5 foot 1 but had a good face, she was 5'7 and had a boy fetish
>after talking on MSN for a while she starts to get comfortable with being flirty in ways I never heard because little boy
>told her one day "okay I'm going to go work out" to try and sound cool
>"that's cute anon, can I fuck you?"
>get scared and block her and never talk to her again

Regret it every day of my life, no idea what ever happened to her but man was I a dork