I was young and very frustrated with how my life had been going and how little I was able to do to change it. I had lost contact with many of my friends, and needed someone to vent to, so in a moment of humility I called up this faggy obnoxious brat who was always trying to be friends with me. We walked through the forest late at night, talking. I opened up to him and let him know much more than he needed to know.

He tried to relate everything I said to his life in a way that you can imagine only made things worse for me. I was in a dark, dark spot, and here this entitled little brat was making everything about himself. For reasons I won't ever fully be able to explain, my perspective on the worth of a human life was strongly distorted that night. Perhaps it was the infinite expanse of stars above my head reminding me of our utter insignificance as a people, or maybe it was just the obnoxious mouth-breather I was walking next to.

Whatever it was, it was real, and it was picking at me. I realized in the future I would look back and think in this moment I was just being "edgy" and needlessly nihilistic, and the feeling would come to pass. But in the moment I knew it was very, very true that a human life was worthless, and in the moment it was my reality.

We kept walking up a gradual hill for minutes, as I listened to the idiot's monologue in silence. Finally we reached the top of the hill and started walking next to a cliff on its other side. Mildly annoyed at his speech, I threw my weight into the idiot, sending him tumbling backwards off the cliff-side. He didn't scream loudly on the way down. I continued walking through the forest with the indifferent glow of the stars to guide me.

>>692534207
Borderline Personality Disorder. I actually have it too. Shit sucks, weed helps.

>>692534460
Nice. How did it feel in retrospect? Did he die, or just get injured?

>>692534629
Well I think I would know by now if I had BPD don't you think ?

>>692534865
He did die, and I do feel guilt. I have no way to compare it to what the average person would feel but I assume it isn't very much.

It wasn't an inconsequential action. I became a bona fide murder suspect. I cared just as little about my own life as his when I did it. I still don't care very much but I'm vaguely glad to be alive and not in jail.

>>692534967
Nigger I'm not that anon, you just asked what it was.

>>692534460
That's quite a good story !

That reminds me the day I slapped this girl because I was angry.

>>692535245
How did you get out of it?

>>692535253
I know but if you have it you could tell me how you discovered it.

File: 1435668217995.png (16 KB, 550x404) Image search: [Google]

16 KB, 550x404

>>692534460
Neat, fresh cringe material

>>692535552
Google that shit, look at the symptoms. I didn't realize what it was til I was 21. It had been diagnosed as severe anxiety, depression, adhd, and bipolar disorder in the years that I started seeking treatment until I heard about BPD from one of my doctors and did a lot of research.

I enjoy scat. Seriously. I fuck myself with a dildo and shit while i'm fucking myself. It's just super messy and really hot. I don't enjoy things being smooth and clean all the time.

And i also rub my own shit on my ass and cock. Lots of fun.

I go for a happy ending massage once a month.

I go to a different place each time. I also lie to the massueses all the way though our small talk during the massage

>>692534629
Maybe not. It's a personality disorder so if you have it it's hard to tell because you have nothing else to compare it to.
It's just the way you are

>>692536037
god i have to see a doctor. Family and friends will break my balls (again) "We can talk about this" "I can be there for you". I think i'll live with this then.

>>692536323
Was meant for

>>692534967

I think i have a split personality
I've "lost" entire days, sometimes weeks
Up 'till now i don't seem to have done anything too stupid
Once i woke up on top of an hill, lying on the ground next to my motorbike
I'm too scared to seek proper help, though

>>692535377
I had good legal counsel, and when they interrogated me they realized they could never prove my guilt beyond reasonable doubt. I had no real alibi, but I also had a history of disappearing for hours at night. The kicker was that the kid had confided to his mom about being depressed just a few days earlier.

Most people close to the case think I did it. We talked on the phone that night and both disappeared at around the same time.

>>692536280
That's a funny/cool secret. Especially the lying part.

>>692534207
I was that anon. Borderline Personality Disorder. Weed doesnt help but yes it sucks.

>>692535245
What was his name?

ITT: mental people

>>692534207
i was raped as a child. never told my parents. although, with how they reacted with me getting molested about a year afterwards it was probably a good idea i kept it to myself
>i'm also starting to exhibit symptoms of schizophrenia

>>692534967
I'm 29 only got diagnosed last year.

>>692536430
Smoke weed. Seriously it helps a lot.

>>692536708
Ffs stop recommending weed for mental illness

>>692536623
This isn't a confession, I'm just venting my secret into the void.

>>692536415
I'm doing alright and I haven't seen a doctor in years. I just smoke weed and focus on finding what coping mechanism works for you. Do you hear voices? No edgy shit, I'm actually trying to help you.

File: 21331231132.png (367 KB, 292x622) Image search: [Google]

367 KB, 292x622

Dubs get

>>692536889
I'll stop when it stops working, faggot.

>>692536421
Well yeah maybe. I have hint. I sleep a lot, I feel sometimes sad for no reason. To be honest i'm scared to go to see a psychologist. Because my family will know and I don't want to because I'll have to talk with them about it and I hate to talk about my pain to others.
Except on /b/ because no one knows who I am and everyone will forget about it.

>>692536596
The lying started off as a paranoid thing I did to try and protect my identity. But then I realised I found talking total shyte to these girls was pretty enjoyable.

"What do you do for a living?"
"I sell horse grooming tools"

Then they ask you shit about your made up profession, and I just keep bullshitting. It's almost like impov I guess

>>692536455
Nice. Anything you would have done differently if you were to do it again?

>>692537161
Maybe for you but most people get fucked up on that shit if they have a condition.

>>692536708
No it really doesn't
I've even stopped drinking
I think it has to do with me being tired... Or dissatisfied with something
It started happening after i had a crash
Initially i could literally remember anything, it would just pop up again later
Then i started being a lot more straightforward than usual

Is that anal addict from the last thread still here? Still wanna see that ass.

File: totally not fbi trust me.png (115 KB, 283x280) Image search: [Google]

115 KB, 283x280

>>692537064
what was his name anonymus friend ? Aren't we your faggit friend on this maymay site ? I mean we create meymey together so you can tell us anonimus friend.

>>692537574
>>692537524
>>692537466
>>692537406
Can you please fuck off?

>>692537070
No I don't hear voice. I'm just sad sometimes. Sleep a lot. The problem is I don't know what I have. In my life, i'm pretty good at being normie. Acting tough, saying sarcastic jokes etc. But the truth is, i'm not as confident as I would like to admit. And I hate talking about my feelings with people I know.

>>692537445
Sounds like you just need to figure yourself out. It might not be mental illness at all, just you not knowing what's wrong in your life weighing on your mental well-being. Meds won't help that, just direction and the feeling of purpose. Weed can help, but nothing works 100% of the time. It's not a magical cure-all, I'm just saying what works for me.

>>692538041
Reported for spam.

>>692536430
scared of what anon ?

I have a cd of my ex and i fucking that i beat off to rather than have sex with my partner.

>>692536621
Oh okay. Why would you said that i had BPD in the first place ? (no offense, i'm just curious) I mean, everyone says he has depression when he feels a bit sad nowdays.

>>692537845
You're sad sometimes and you're socially awkward? That's not BPD, just stop being such a pussy. You'd be surprised what you can do if you aren't afraid to do it. I don't think meds (self prescribed or otherwise) will help you.

>>692538142
Why are you with your current squeeze then and not your ex?

>>692538266
I cant remember what was said but something reminded me of how I felt before I was diagnosed.

>>692537280
I find the idea pretty funny actually. Improvisation at its finest

>>692538374
How quick do people get banned after you report them?

File: 23213232.png (1 MB, 1000x696) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 1000x696

>>692538540
Fuck off newfag

>>692536696
You went to see a doctor ? Should I ? Did it helped you to know what you had, or nothing has changed ?

>>692537334
My life improved markedly after that night, and I started feeling like a real human being with emotions and ambitions again. I enjoyed the level of scrutiny I was put under as a murder suspect and how people rallied to defend me. But I never considered myself a murderer. It was just a dream to me. That night was so blurry, and my head was in such a different place, it was like it wasn't even me who did it. I never felt like I was lying when I denied it.

Right now I'm experiencing another moment of nihilism. I don't feel guilty at all but I do feel responsible. On any other day I'd answer your question differently, but today I feel no remorse. I would do it again.

>>692538540
Not sure but if more than one person does it should be soon. I'm reporting them all.

>>692538129
Of being marked as a mentally ill freak
Of losing my license, my love, my life
What if i snap...
What if i get to spend the rest of my life in a looney bin

>>692538431
Kid, house etc. Love the little one but I'm beginning to feel like life is a mistake.

I showed my dick to a female for the first time. was kinda cool

>>692538284
I wouldn't say socially awkward actually. I don't have problem going to see people, talking etc. It's just that when i'm getting close to people in terms of friendship, I freak out. I really don't feel good about being loved. It frightens me.

>>692538640
Unfortunately I started self-harming to try and handle my emotionaly instability and wound up in hospital after cutting too much. Was diagnosed shortly after. On good meds and in therapy and helped a lot.

File: 1462312368212.gif (447 KB, 500x281) Image search: [Google]

447 KB, 500x281

>>692538798
i bet she was 12

>>692538891
Kill yourself you autistic fuck.

>>692538930
a betting man who lost. she was my age.

>>692534207
When i was 16, me and my family lived next to these mexicans who had a daughter that was about 8.

She often came over to my little sisters house to play and one day, her family and our family went to have dinner together so I was left to watch them.

On that day, she wore some of the tightest and sexiest shorts I've ever seen, they hugged her tight brown body perfectly and turn my dick to diamonds.

I got so horny that when I played games with the girls like tag and hide and seek, I'd often try to cup a feel of her ass and slide my hands across her flesh.

I got so horny for her to the point where I'd fap to her as I looked at her from the window, or if I was really horny, if she was alone I'd quickly pick her up, have my hands on her ass, and give her a firm squeeze and I grinded against her.

It eventually got to the point where she got annoyed and told me she'd tell her parents if I didn't stop, so naturally I agreed and nothing came from that.

Thankfully her and her parents moved, but I loved her ass and she is probably what got me into loli.

>>692536280
My secret dream is becoming that kind of person. Just doin' all kinds of shit to get laid.

>>692538781
Of course life is a mistake. How old are you?

>>692539107
This is the worst idea for an ad campaign ever. You're fired, Jerry.

File: 1462100130880.jpg (234 KB, 1158x1920) Image search: [Google]

234 KB, 1158x1920

>>692539196
oh ok sorry anon

>>692538891
>>692538930
>>692539154

Thanks for the Zootopia stuff, anon, needed to expand my folder.

>>692538908
Then stop being such a coward. Why are you afraid of being loved? It's not so horrible.

>>692539337
honesty shall set us free my friend

>>692538648
Im sorry i have got to ask, what does it feel like to know you have killed someone? Or atleast caused it.

>>692539271
Not all life, just the current girlfriend part. Over 30.

>>692538910
I hope I won't have to take med. Actually I hope I don't have disorder. I hope it's just a bad moment in my life.

I'm curious, how self-harming "helped" ? Or at least what made you think it would ?

I use a rubber band to handle negative emotions. When I feel one, I slap the rubber band as hard as I can on my wrist. So I associate negative emotions with pain. Does it work the same with cutting ?

I pee a little in the coffee pot at work. I get raging hard ons watching the females drink up.

>>692539624
What's wrong with her? She was okay enough to breed with. Every woman is kinda crazy, what makes your woman more intolerable than anyone else's?

File: 1461792223706.jpg (88 KB, 1000x841) Image search: [Google]

88 KB, 1000x841

GET

File: 1467259726667.jpg (15 KB, 318x405) Image search: [Google]

15 KB, 318x405

>>692534207
>ive had atleast 6 gay moments in my life full penetration.

>>692539215
Congratz. You're officially a creepy pedo.

>>692534207
So when I was 24 years old I flunked out of college. I was broke and my GF left me for some surfer dude. I was sitting in my apartment and the lights and gas had been shut off. But I still had a credit card from when I was in school and it had a credit limit of $28,000 on it. I turn that line of credit into $158,443,034.00. I did it overnight. There's more but...

>>692534629
what is having BPD like? like when did you know it was something that was negatively impacting your life

File: OAgzggh.png (75 KB, 198x380) Image search: [Google]

75 KB, 198x380

>>692539215

>>692539215
>Theres a special place saved in hell for you buddy.

>>692539475
When people loves you, they expect thing from you. And I don't want to live up to anyone expectations.
Your failures become their failures because they actually care about you and feel bad for you. I don't like that people care about me. I feel pressure about that.
Also, I feel like I don't give them back the love they deserve/waiting.
Finally, I also happened to love people more that they did love me. It hurts. The opposite hurts too when you have a bit of empathy.

File: 12312321321.png (1 MB, 1000x1000) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 1000x1000

Get.

I'm a omnisexual / pansexual

>>692539811
Right about everything. Lazy. Messy. Feminist. Lacks confidence. Gluten intolerant. Violent. Doesn't budget. Belittling. Know it all. Forgetful.

>>692540134
You must have sucked so many dicks that night

>>692540134
I don't get it. You became rich or something ?

I have my personal army

>>692540484
What the actually fuck is the difference between omni/pansexual and bi???!!!!

>>692539628
I'm sorry I cant stay in the thread with the rabbit shitposter.

I seem like a normal person. Good job good member of the community. But after my divorce I have lost all love for life. I am about a month away from killing myself. I am gonna do it on my wedding anniversary. 8/9. It is gonna fuck up my kids but I just can't do it anymore. I've tried medicine and therapy is just over for me.

>>692540639
9gag ?

>>692539593
I don't know.

>>692540704
Well it's a shame. Are you a newfag ? (not insulting) Because with time you learn how to not care about it

>>692540776
Army, not special ed grade-school.

>>692540981
reddit ?

>>692540981
it can't be /b/.
as you know
>not your personal army

File: 13307202_243031922735713_7386280654093993056_n.jpg (24 KB, 479x480) Image search: [Google]

24 KB, 479x480

>>692537088
checkd

File: 20.jpg (140 KB, 480x640) Image search: [Google]

140 KB, 480x640

i'm into big girls, and i am ashamed of it.
i like seeing them struggle to go up stairs and get out of bed.
when i say big, i mean 600 pounds or more.
i have never had a girl friend, and i am ashamed of liking girls that size for some reason.

>>692541175
Army, not high school retards either.

File: 1460096447301.gif (2 MB, 250x455) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 250x455

Check em

i'm building an "Ark" of sorts its full of source code, operating systems Linux Unix...I figured i's get what I could before the government locks down the internet in a few month's/years

>>692541660
At least dump decent lewds, degenerate

>>692540184
Well, I've heard voices in my head since I was about 12. They freaked me out at first, I didn't know how to tell my grandma (parents died when I was 5). They weren't always the kind that tell you to kill your family, but sometimes they were. Most of the time they were just words that made no sense together just jumbled up. After a few years, they progressed to include mild visual hallucinations. They were jarring at first, but I learned to ignore them.
The main problem I had was never telling anyone. I was afraid of what they would say. Mostly that my family would assume I was dangerous since they're the Christian type that believe in possession. My grandma took it fairly well when I asked to get help from a doctor rather than a church. The doc couldn't do much though, as it's more difficult to treat than it is to diagnose. I found own way to cope, through a creative outlet and moderate marijuana use. I don't drink much, that makes it worse.
The thing that makes it scary is it comes with a general dissociation from what you think is real, and the feeling that you're not the one driving your meat suit.
I hope I answered your question.

When I was in middleschool, this girl I had been friends with for a long time was sleeping over. She sexually assulted me but I didn't stop her. I found out that I wasn't the only girl she had done this to, but I'm still ashamed for it exciting me a little bit even though I really didn't like it all to much.

>>692540438
So instead of enjoying your life and moving on, you're depriving yourself of what you know would make you happy because you're afraid of what could happen.

>>692540583
Then why did you have have a child with her?

>>692542117
pretty much. I know it sounds stupid but that's not the kind of thing you could wake up one morning and say : "Ha ! But that's retarded, let's keep going in life" and forget about.

>>692542101
Post tits

>>692542214
Wasn't aware of all of that. Also discussed of it didn't work out we were still going to be great parents. Anyway not super keen to discuss sorry, just wanted to post a secret and not dwell on it.

i always feel like.....







somebodys watchin MEEEE!!!

>>692542988
Your life is very sad

>>692542475
Then work at it. You won't get anywhere if you don't start somewhere. At the end of the day, you're the one dooming yourself.

I let my BFF play with the lil girl I was babysitting.

>>692543667
*bf

>>692534207
I fucked my daughter... and she loved it. She was over 18 ok, so incest is ok then. Not like pedo.

>>692540583
Not the person you were talking too before but... Except for the feminist part that is exactly the same as my wife. We have 2 kids cause im an idiot but no way i can leave her she is a shitty mother and courts dont give custody to the father without the mother being a complete wreck

i flew a plane into a couple buildings in manhattan. shit was so cash

File: F-Yo-Thread.gif (1 MB, 320x182) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 320x182

>>692534207
the fact that the book is ruined pisses me off more than it should

>>692543992
Pics or it didn't happen

>>692543907
I actually think she is generally a loving caring mother, she just has too many really fucking shit personality traits for me to like being with her.

File: 911spaghetti.jpg (57 KB, 726x960) Image search: [Google]

57 KB, 726x960

>>692544206
here you go

File: s 1a.webm (2 MB, 720x480) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 720x480

>>692534207
I spycammed on my gf's sister and her best friends and still trying to do it when they come over. They don't have a clue ofc and it makes my heart pound everytime I place the cam. They all think I'm that perfect guy for my gf, little do they know...webm related

>>692542064
If i had a working dick i'd totally fuck that bunny

>>692544292
You got lucky in that regard, but like u i have some old pics of my ex I jack off too more then i fuck my wife

>>692544317
But beam fuel can't melt steel jets

>>692534207
>sucked some dicks
>robbed some people
>burglary many times
>stabbed a few
>stole from friends
>compulsive liar
>manipulative
>stole some cars
>stole from almost every job
>stole deposits daily from 2nd to last job
>seen some cheese pizza (long ago, maybe at age of 14) kazaa or lime wire style
>got fucked by dude
>sucked more dicks
>bi and married then divorced
>never told girlfriends
>lied to get divorce without alimony
>stole from more friends

These days, nothing really secret, mostly just vanilla secrets like porn habits

>can self fist
>have dildo collection

Haven't done that in a while

>have hpv
>never been tested otherwise
>never used condom
>lied about being tested many times

>>692544770
your thetan level has to be really high to be able to pull that off. like tom cruise level