>>690232176
also have I faked depression and got caught;

>be me 15 years old
>beta cuck not bad looking just a wuss
>find 10/10 girl and want to be with her
>start talking
>talk about depression and my past
>tell her I cut myself and I am suicidal
>we talk about it a lot and she's really supportive
>gets in to me
FFW 2-3 months
>I tell her I'm done one night
>don't come to school next day because I wanted to stay home
>she goes to the school psych and tells everything
>mum gets a call
>comes up to me and cries
>i cry

Life has never been the same for me, I still think of that girl

I had a threesome with my bi girlfriend and my best friend's girlfriend.
I don't fucking regret it.
I regret not taking pics though :>

>>690232570
well is your fault for being a dumb faggot

>>690232570
lul beta bitch

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I've sucked on my little sister's filthy panties at least 4-5 time a week, every week, for the last 5 years.

I want nothing more in like then to be her slave. I constantly fantasize about having her abuse me.

>>690233484

how old is she anon?

>>690233845
I do this with my 19 year old stepsister.

>>690233845
14 in that picture, 20 now.

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>>690233937
Forgot pic

>>690233969
damn I don't blame you

>>690232176

>touched my little sister a few times when she was sleeping (this was close to a decade ago)

>when I was a teen I would teach my younger siblings friends to masturbate etc

>to me any hole is a goal

>I was molested at a young age and here's the kicker. I loved it.

>>690233969
Her skin looks soft and smooth.

>>690233484
14 yo in my country look like toddlers

>>690233969
she is fucking hot

>>690234203
I see no problem with this. Did you like the act of teaching something sexual or was it their genitals you enjoyed seeing?

>>690234203
u need mental help

>>690234370
both.

I was just a horny teen with raging hormones

I saw someone get their kneecap blown to shreds by a sawn off shotgun. I was also the getaway after friends doused a house with gasoline and molotoved the fucker. I have been held at gunpoint for information regarding the wearabouts of a snitch. Other things too.

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>>690234037
>>690234236
>>690234350

Glad you guys like her too.

Her filth is delicious, especially after a sweaty day at the gym.

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I rent from my dad and the and get a really good deal, the only rule is a can't drink since I'm an alcoholic.

I'm drunk right now

>>690234592
pics of dirty panties or gtfo

>>690234477

Anyone in 4chan does

>>690234647
naughty boy

>>690234647
what r u drinking?

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>>690234727
I don't take pictures. Why would I? I can get an actual pair whenever she isn't home. What would I do with a picture?

>>690233484
Hey, I remember you

Have a super hot gf.
Currently cheating on her with not so hot girl (she's beautiful though).

I think it's because I feel like a fucking king around her.

>>690235042
>I don't take pictures. Why would I? I can get an actual pair whenever she isn't home. What would I do with a picture?

to show 4chan her dirty panties

i troll and intentionally feed in normal games

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>>690235002
Absolut

[spoiler]On ice[/spoiler]

>>690235191

>i troll and intentionally feed in normal games

wich ones?

>>690235225

Vodka is sheeeet

>>690235297
sry im gonna be more clear, normal leauge of legends games

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>>690235042
I wish she would dominate me like this.

I would lick the sweat off her pale skin.

It ain't exactly rocket science

>>690235402
Holy fuck lolit took my a while to notice the black dude, I lol'd

i've lied constantly to more or less everyone I ever knew

cheated on several girlfriends, often multiple times with multiple girls, haven't yet gotten caught

once in highschool I cut myself on the head with a straight razor and threw myself down a flight of stairs so I could get out of a math test
that is 100% true

I stole nudes of my roommate's gf off his computer

i stole a beer from the fridge, it wasnt even mine.

>>690235637
bruh

>>690235637

why you arent in jail yet?

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I want to fuck my best friend in the ass

>>690235637
Oh god. You're a monster!

I have been approached by 7 of my friends ex-girlfriends to have sex with them. Fucked 4 of them and went out with one for 4 years. I never really have much luck pulling girls from scratch, but girlfriend's of my friends always seem to want to fuck me.

Life is strange.

>>690235892
Is he a passable trap at least?

I work at a hospital and I've been killing sick niggers for years. I keep an insulin syringe around because I told p e pole I am diabetic. When an old nigger gets here I make sure thry leave in a bag. I've killed way over 100. No one cares about dead niggers.

>>690235945
He could be if he shaved and dressed up

>>690235945
>>690236175

faggets

>>690236165
HAHAHA kek, what country what hospital and what department do you work in? GREAT PRANK ANON!

>>690236165
Man I listen to a true crime podcast, hope to hear your crime someday. Mark this day.

man some crazy shit happened to me a while back

I live up in Idaho, and I was at a bar and I heard this guy talking about how he hates spics to this other dude. eventually he tells the guy that he's been killing them out in a place called the south hills, and burying the corpses out there.

so, http://www.kmvt.com/content/news/Human-skeletal-remains-found-in-the-South-Hills-382270921.html

mexican corpse found in south hills. could be a coincidence, but still freaked me the fuck out

>>690234539
Enjoy your alcoholism

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I'm gonna do it, help me decide fug

>>690237113
Iron ass princess sounds great lmao

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>>690237292
What would we do without the Japanese?

I love getting high with my hetro buddy. We get spun and Fuck and do nasty shit... Got his younger bro to play too

>>690237518
>hetro
K


Post pics.

>>690232176
> each day at work i do less than 20 minutes work despite being there for 8 hours
>currently settling into a new friendship group. haven't told them I'm leaving forever at the end of summer.
> I've broken a hole in the plaster board that I'm not going to pay for when i move out

>>690237113
RuneScape
thats awesome

>>690232176
I stole some of my sisters panties today

I shot two people in the ghetto with a throwaway because they tried to rob my buddy for half an ounce of crack and fled the state.

Stole money from my aunt and cousin's purses at age 13.

Stole jewelry from my grandmother at age 14.

Stole from purses at a Super Bowl party at age 16.

Age 21: Stole money, purses, jewelry, clothes, phones, gps's, wallets, etc from countless cars on college campus. Pickpocketed wallets from backpacks on campus. Stole wallets and purses from library. Broke car windows, keyed cars, destroyed interior of cars. Broke into apartments and stole purses, laptops, jewelry boxes, game systems, etc. Stole purses from workers in offices on campus.

Started hacking emails and face books and catfishing at age 23. Convinced a guy to have sex with me cuz he thought I was a woman. Threatened to show fiancé the conversation unless he gave me nudes of her. He did, so I showed her anyway including the nudes.

Age 25 found nudes in an underaged girls email I hacked and posted then on her Facebook for everyone to see.

Age 26 found nudes in a 22 year old teacher's email I hacked. Posted them on /b/ and they ended up being sent to the entire student body and faculty. She resigned after a police investigation.

Age 28 stole a purse from a car. A year later I messaged the girl on fb from a fake profile admiring to the crime and apologizing. All a ploy to make her fall for me and send nudes. Still working on it and I'm obviously not sorry. I would definitely steal her purse again.

>>690237980
pics

>>690237958
About as awesome as my sex life, now hep me decide!

>>690238024
liar

>>690238067
you are garbish dude, never its too late to repent yaknow

>>690235616
sharing time

>>690238087
i would buy passionate gimmick

>>690235616
Well done. Let's see em!

>>690235616
you are the man! now post it

>>690238222
Well since ya rolled trips.... nah.

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>>690238077
here

>>690238401
thats good, i just hope u stole because u needed the money, i hope u have stolen from people that actually have more than u

>>690238569

how old is she, anon?

>>690238647
english is not my first lenguaje, sorry 4 the writenning

I killed a man.

>>690238694
18, turning 19 later this year

>>690238569
Fuck yeah, do you cum on them?

>>690238647
I never needed it. Any of it really. Mostly stole from college chicks so not the richest but not exactly third world status either. I steal for the thrills and the idea of depriving someone of something they want or need, especially valuable and personal things, gets me off.

>>690238797
time 2 fap

>>690235637
You are fucked

>>690238842
i've used two of these pairs quite a few times in the past, the rest are cum free.

>>690238877
Post legal noodz stolen

>>690238877
idk, i stole the pencil of a classmate once, it was terrible

>>690238877
Checked double dubs

>>690238778
Put a gun against his head

>>690234540
wanna greentext ur lies for us

Secretly having enormous doubts about the whole direction I'm taking my life.

Fell in love with a girl I met overseas and it made me realise how much life is just passing me by. If I continue doing the same old thing we'll probably never meet again until she's nearly 30.

>>690239046
pull my trigger now hes dead...

>>690238978
I'm too lazy to find them but look up Whitney roach on motherless. She's the teacher. Post em when you find em if you want.

>I'm self harming even though I'm under medication&therapy
>I tried to suicide different times and never told my doctors about it
>I'm passable as fuck as a trap but even as a boy no boyfriend-material-guys in my area so I crossdress for myself
>I get out as a trap and I get an immense pleasure from attracting guys attention
>My past boyfriend beat me up for no reason then I had to wear make up to cover my face bruises
>He dumped me and I'm the one broken hearted so I tried to an hero one more time

>inb4 why am I not considering suicide right now

>>690238992
Sounds terrible.

>>690233969
Is this Photoshopped?

>>690239046
I can still remember what he looked like after. It haunts me. I didn't put a gun up to his head, I stabbed him in the neck. Because he beat my sister and was going to kill me that night.

Last night i jacked off and came into my friends sisters bikini bottoms while smelling a pair of short shorts she wore earlier yesterday. They smelled sweet like flowers and it was the hottest thing ive ever done. I want to do it again. Anytips on how to get away with cumming in her panties and such without being caught?

>>690232176


>be me 7 years old
>have this old friend who is 16
>goto his house one day
>show me his knife collection and slides the knifes round my arms and shit
>pulls out desk chair for me to sit on
>ties me to the chair
>me being a 7yr old had know idea what was going on and thought it was a game
> he pretends to get a call
> says one of his friends are coming and I need to get "ready for them"
>pulls down my pants
>my tiny 7yr old dick hanging out
> I say I don't like it
> friend says if I don't do this all my family will be killed
>start to cry really loudly
>he doesn't want his neighbour finding out
>tells me he will take me to get cookies if I stop
>I agree
>unties me still naked and he takes me to the kitchen
>puts all four hobs on
>room fills up with the stench of gas
>he goes through some glass doors that leads into the garden
>starts taking a video of me naked
>tells me that if I don't dance he will set the house of fire
>start to cry again and run out of the kitchen and grab clothes
>run home naked get dressed half way there
>mom asks me why I was crying and why I had marks on my wrists
>(he used chains so it leaves patterns on my skin)
>say I fell over
>mom be lives me
>MFW I be never told this to anyone In my life
>MFW I see him walk past my house everyday.

>>690239402
the best way for dont get cought is...

rape her

>>690235402
Why is black dude there?

>>690235637
Saged, reported, hidden, called the cops, called the Fire Department, called pizza hut, called the USN, called the Royal Navy, called the Red Army, called the FBI. called the CIA, called Interpol, called the KGB, called the USMC, called the USAF, called the Royal Air force, called MI 6, called Scotland Yard, called the US National Guard of every state, called NYPD, called Obama, called the Queen, called Putin, called David Cameron, called every Governor of every US State, used my time phone to call Winston Church hill, As well as Hitler, Stalin, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington, Montezuma, ever Caesar, and Gilgamesh, called US Army, called British Army in every era, called every phone sexline, called papa john's, called the US Coast Guard, called my State Senators, called my Senators, called every republican in the US, called Dr. Who, called the Pope, called my local Gang lords, called the State Patrol of ever state west of the Mississippi, called all of my local news channels, called Star Fleet, called The Sun, called The national enquirer, called CNN, called Scot Pelly, called Steven Colbert, called half of the Mexican Drug Cartels, called Nintendo, called the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force, called the head of the Illuminati, called ever free mason, called bilderberg, called my neighbors, called the mayor of ever city in France, called my mom, called the Emperor of Man, and called every school district in Canada.

>>690235402
Tfw I'm the black guy in the pic

>>690239468
how old r u now?

>>690239402
in my experience using stuff from the laundry basket and doing it at night are the easiest

>>690239107
Mama, life had just begun

>>690239683
19

>>690239569
>called every phone sexline
kekkkk

>>690239246
>passable
>immense pleasure from attracting boys attention

You know what you gotta do, care to share?

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>Never stole anything.
>Never done anything sexually weird.
>Always been a boring ass fag.

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>>690239115
I remember these now! They were all over the net when scandal broke out, a simple Google image search net this right away

>>690239691
I did it at night and in her rooms laundry basket. Why would you do clean ones? Most of the excitement is the smell imo

>>690236165
Topkek

>>690239468
how old are you now and why havent you done anything to him yet?

>>690239724
i fucking miss him, 2016 his music still on my ears!

RIP FM

>>690232176
I used to steal money out of this bitches purse at work. She was a horrible human being and deserved to die, but I settled for financial stress. She constantly dealt in cash only and carried between 200 and 400 dollars. Stole around $1700 in total from her and he kept blaming the mexicans for it.
P.S. I'm not Mexican

>>690239836
u are a good person instead

>>690239998
Great now she thinks building a wall will fix her problems

>>690232570
I've seen grasshoppers with a bigger sack than you

>>690239864
the thought of them wearing some that I've used and haven't been washed yet is a great feeling, and sometimes i couldn't get my hands on dirty ones

>>690239079
> Be me 23
> I'm a getaway driver most of the time
> Occasionally I see some fucked up shit
>Guy owes us a fuckload of money and he's not willing to pay because he thinks he's too good for that
>Goodbyekneecap.jpg
>Our former partner was a snitch, I can't say who for
> One of our affiliates wants to kill him so he puts a gun at my head and forces him to tell him
> Snitch got away unfortunately so now I have to move around looking behind my shoulder
> Sometimes I miss the thrill of being the getaway.

Stole thousands of dollars from my old job to keep my family supported.

The store closed after two other employees started stealing. Feel superbad.

Stole over a course of 9 months.

>>690240083
no, she thinks building a wall will keep the ones already here inside.

>>690240156
I thought about wearing them, but i didnt want to ruin the scent.

>>690240243
Forces me**

>>690239468
Dude for real youre 19 now you should kidnap this kid and make him dance or tell him youll stab him in the neck.

>>690240007
Go back to S4S.

Anyways, I have a green text story.

>Be me.
>Be last week, around midnight.
>I was playing Minecraft really late.
>Get sudden urge to have chocolate milk.
>Get up and go to the kitchen.
>Get glass, get jug of milk from fridge.
>Pour milk into glass.
>Suddenly, out of nowhere, a lucky quarter appears at my feet.
>Bend down to pick it up.
>When I come back up, I hit my head on the table.
>Everythingisstars.JPEG
>I hear a shattering sound.
>When I come to, I see my mother.
>She comes right through the door.
>Walks onto the chocolate milk-covered floor.
>Everyone do the Dinosaur.

>>690239856
Yep that's her. That's was me bro.

>>690240356
clean ones are definitely the best for wearing

I love rubbing my balls and smelling them. I snuck food when I worked at a diner. Told my friend how I would fuck his girlfriend. Whipped my dick out in kindergarten for no reason. Scratched my dad's car and blamed it on another car from parking. Killed a chicken slamming it against the tree with a net. Threw my cat after she clawed my thigh. Made my aunts dog lick my dick when I was a kid. Gave my cousin a blowjob after he forced me to. That's all I can think of.

>>690235637
I used to as well. I'd bring an ass load of cheap beer and a fifth to a party, drink a good portion of my own, then snag better beers in the fridge. Not once have I had a problem, probably because I essentially paid some dues by bringing two thirty packs and a fifth wherever I'd go.

>>690232176
I was molested from the age of 5 to 13 by my cousin. I thought it was normal until I started cumming then I freaked out. I still see him and I wonder who he is doing it with now

>>690239998
Good job I approve!!!

>>690240495
Ill try that next time im over. Im scared about leaving my spunk in them though

>>690240622
How old are you now?

>>690240243
cmon anon those aren't stories. if you greentext a good story i'll do one about the time a bunch of dudes tried to rob me

>>690240699
if you cum in the crotch pocket its less obvious

>>690237518
>hetro
I've got some bad news for you anon...

>>690240477
Dubs of justice.

I destroyed my son's grave because I'm not getting any attention.

>>690241085
so unvelibelbe

>>690241085
Did you get attention?

I planning to smash his windows and shit then ill probably kidnap him torture him and Burie his body on the dales

>>690232176
I secretly want to kill someone and masturbate on their dead body using their blood as lupe.

>>690240732
22 now. I often wonder why I didn't say anything. It was so often it was normal

>>690241183
you have my support, child!

>>690234540
none of this happened

>>690241248
dont recomend, blood dryes quickly, it ends up sticking everywhere and being a pain in the ass tbh

The story of the toilet thief

>be me
>be 12
>going through financial problems
>bad cockroach infestation at house
>only have 1 ply toilet paper
>always rips
>be at school
>go to bathroom
>some jackass ripped off toilet paper shield
>best idea ever.jpg
>next day wear black hoodie
>near end of day sneak into bathroom
>shove toilet paper into backpack
>lots of shit already in there but this was important
>make escape blending in with stampede of students
>genius.txt
>next day people find out about missing toilet paper
>no one suspects me
>toilet paper replaced each week
>school doesn't have budget to buy new toilet paper guard
>start stealing ass wipes more often
>carrying backpack full of ten pound shit paper starts hurting spine
>one day school posts bathroom bouncer
>had eyes like pedo eagle
>last week of school
>challenge accepted
>start planning for one final toilet heist
>learn bouncer schedule
>goes to pleb break room routinely
>time to strike
>almost time for bell to ring
>bouncer goes to eat shit
>sneak into toilets
>shove massive roll of toilet paper in backpack and carry it out
>hear snap
>one of backpack straps broke
>one strap hanging onto neck
>feelsbadman.png
>make it out door
>mom parked on other side of school
>slowly make way to mom car while backpack crushes my jugular
>make it to car
>show mom trophy
>tfw mom had been shoplifting two ply from store for a month
>tfw I nearly strangled myself by smuggling ass wipes
>rethink life choices

I once had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

>>690238067
>I've been here so long I remember this obscure ass pasta.

Fuck.

>>690241665
You fucking monster

>>690241513
Oh.. okay then.

I am an alcoholic and believe addicts should fuck off to their own fellowship because they pollute AA

>>690240243
I really hope not even you believe your bullshit is believable.

>>690241022
Checked and kek'd

>>690240815
fuck it does anyone wanna hear it real quick. im bored as shit at work

>>690242229
Go for it

>>690242229
bump

>>690232176
i got quints once in 2016
cant remember what number though
maybe 2
oh and im lovelocked into this waifu thing i met in oldschool runescape in 2013 dont care since but each year (She told me she was 18) she gets a year younger (she was actually 13 in 2013)

>>690242476
Story?

>>690242593
>no u

Holy fuck just heard 12 gunshots in my neighbourhood, later thread I'm out of here

>>690241657
10/10

I post pictures of my ex on /b/ to see what anon has to say about her.

I've also secretly recorded us fucking with a hidden cam.

>>690242683
ice cube was there

>>690242683
story?

>>690239246
Hang in there, anon. Some day, you'll find a great boyfriend. Best of luck to you.

>>690242901
vid?

Shot a guy in iraq just to see what it was like...
Shot guys in fields in Afghanistan because I was bored and "shovels look like guns".
Called in a fire mission on a group of people carrying logs (looks like rockets, but I knew)
Honestly I don't even feel bad about it.

Saw an IED on the road in iraq and didn't stop the patrol or report it. (It was a long day and really hot, didn't want to wait for 6 hours) knew there was a convoy behind us and just let them deal with it. (No one was hurt)

>>690243057
IED?

>>690242631
Nothing really good, I went to a brothel and fucked 2 chicks back to back (withen 3-5 min) 1st sucked just layer there. Second one was a stunner and really good ended up going raw in her. Couldn't finish with either because I was nervous and kinda drunk.

I'll post the story if I hear more about it, I was just browsing this 'website' and hear gunshots, so I'm just switching off all the lights and pretending I'm not home

>>690243240
Improvised explosive device

>>690235940
>Life is strange


That's the fucking truth.

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>>690243047

Don't have vid right now. Just have a couple screenshots

>>690243358
US army just sucks man, i respect u but not the institution

i just failed my college course and my parents don't know yet, currently playing fallout 4

I catfish ppl on runescape because it makes me hard;)

Ive been in love with my wifes sister since I met her... She is perfection, we are made for each other and I believe shes got feelings for me too.
I love you alma.

>>690240477

Yo Blake whaddup

>>690242256
>be me 19
>older friend always had it pretty rough, mom was a drug addict and dad turned preacher and was hard on him. been living on his own since about 16 and had a really unstable life before that
>we used to kick it everyday for years so i trust him
>starts living in hood with about 5 people he met at job corps in a two bedroom
>asks for a big front because they will be getting paid soon
>say no bc he already owes money
>fast forward two weeks, his friend wants a zip
>tells me to meet them at a park
>im on passenger side of car talking to him in his car
>he's pretending to look through wallet
>two dudes with shirts covering face and hoodies (obviously job corps friends i recognized their face) start running out from other side of parking lot
>dip around to the other side of my car and get in
>both open the door and start trying to pull me out
>punching me in the head, kicking me
>trying to fight back but its hard when ur in the car
>finally get my shit to turn on, put in reverse and gun it
>friend had backed out his car so i can't pull out
>hit his car fucking hard
>goodbyetaillight.jpeg
>car gets shut off, see a silhouette of gun kinda but can't really make sense of it with all the action going on
>friend yells, "let it off so he know its real"
>datpop.gif
>get car back on and in neutral before the gun is put to my head
>literally six inches away from me, yelling to turn the car off and not to move
>fuck that
>throw car in drive and dip the fuck out to a safe spot

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I cheated on my wife with her best friend. She invited me over to her apartment one night after work. We got drunk. She was wearing the sexiest tube top with a short, tight skirt. We made out and then fucked for hours. It was the best sex of my life because it was wrong. Haven't told anyone and I feel so guilty. But her body was incredible and she was an amazing fuck. Pic related.

I sometimes fantasize in my head when a situation comes up of myself being killed or me killing someone else. I get super detailed too, like how it would happen and how it would look afterwards.

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(f) i have saucy photos and stories of the girl my friend likes, i got them together myself to tease him with the things i know because i like him and it makes me >:))))))))

>>690244035
pics of ur wife?

i pay my girlfriend's younger cousin to give me massages like at a parlor and i have taught her to give me a handjob after

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>>690244035
God I wanna fuck her again.

>>690244180

You know the rules. Tits + timestamp or gfto

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>>690232176
I masturbate to Stampey Phillips

>>690243555
Trips yay

I'm not the shot the guy anon I'm the fucked 2 prostitutes anon

Also I'm military police I'm the Air Force

holy fuck op i dont blame you

>>690241724
I wrote it last night nigger. That was the first time I posted it.

>>690244345
shes hasnt made any requests its all good

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>>690244190
Wife

>>690244715

Post pics of them together.

Uhh ok
>i knocked my ex up
>while she was getting the abortion in mesa
>i was fucking her 17 year old sister raw
>and then when she missed her period i told her to take a ton of shit for it
>and then i moved away and changed my phone number
>i love fucking families

>>690244715
You wife is way hotter than that other bitch.

>>690244372 who is this, image search shows up with 'person'

>>690244869
Her friends body is so fucking tight and perfect though.

>>690243555
Yeah man I hear ya . I joined at 17 and was put in a unit with a bunch of hardened vets probably fucked me up pretty good.

>>690244715
moar of your wife. she's sexy as fuck

>>690232176

ima drug war survivor

Every year at the end of the school year i take my students to the pool
my girl students always end up rubbing against me in the pool and i get the hardest boner and i will rub it against them

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>>690244802

>>690244715
holy fuck u married Adele

>>690244035
no brainer

>>690245407
how so?

>>690245395

thats raw, any stories u want 2 share?

im all ears... well.. eyes...

I buy multipacks of lollipops, unwrap and fart on them then re-wrap and leave them lying around the park. I watch while little girls pick them up and suck on them.

I go to the store and buy packs of filled donuts. I come home and inject them with my fart gas. I go back to the store and put them back on the shelf and wait for people to buy them. If it looks like a guy is about to buy them I push in front of him and grab the pack, then put it back until a girl or someone with little girl kids buys them.

Stop feeling bad about the things that make us who we are

>>690245457

Got nudes of either?

>>690232176
>be me
>first semester of uni
>make some good mates in my calc class
>one annoying muslim dude keeps trying to hang out with us, generally being a pain
>get an idea
>last exam is calc exam
>coincides with ramadan
>invite mates including muslim out for a camp post exam
>"Don't eat beforehand I'll get loads of stuff for a barbeque"
>Go shopping, only buy pork, bacon and beer. I don't even take water
>Arrive at campsite
>Muslim dude is hungry as fuck, he's been fasting all day
>He checks the food bag, only pig which he can't eat
>He checks the drink bag, only booze which he can't drink
>Forced to sit there starving his arse off while we all enjoy marinated ribs and pork sausages.

He never talked to us again.

I'm infatuated with a co-worker. I'm happily married... but I've become obsessed with her.

The strange thing: I'm pretty sure she's into me too (knows about my wife too)

I know it's retarded, but I secretly believe in the evil eye, astrology, magic, and all that shit. At least as far as it relates to my life

>>690240572

Not sure if you know this But German football coach was caught on camera doing just that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqd9FJIqOm8

>>690245529

friendships can get you in to some tight spots but havin the right backs makes the future good

>>690243940
>friend

>>690246361
its called becoming bored in your marriage. You may still love your wife but you know her very well. nothing is new.

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>>690245399

I con women out of money and things. This has been going on since I was about 21, I'm close to 30 now. Basically everything I own comes from various women. I don't like it but I can't stop...

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>4 months trial period at a job
>rly need this job
>alrd fucked up couple of times
>we are supposed to have one of us every monday check the cars we drivan
>I crashed one car over a sidewalk slab, bet rim, ruined tire, didnt tell
>expected someoen to check cars and then id make up some excuse
>noone checked, car was taken to routine maintenance after like 1.5 months after I crashed it, it literally drove like nothing happened
>Angry email from boss
>Which one of you fuckers did it
>im mad cus noone told
>confess or everyone will pay for the fix up

DO I
1. >Confess and risk getting FUCKING FIRED (not doing this)
2. >White knight it and be like hey i think it might have been hit on those big potholes next to our office!!
3. >Fucking ignore it unless i'll be interrogated personally, since I was driving that car the most in recent memory

In case of 3 there are 3 options I have thought of
1.> What crash? Idk man
2.> Man, if noone confesses blame it on me I guess...white knight again, give them some places I might have hit it but havent noticed ( partial blame)
3.> Ask : "So was it crashed this week then?" If boss answers that he doesnt know then ill grab him by the balls and be like:" What do you mean you don't know? So noone routinely checks the cars then? "

Please help me.

>>690246632
Fuck her. I'm the guy who fucked his wife's best friend. The guilt makes the sex even better.

>be me
>work retail
>take shits at work on the daily
>leave glorious dumps so customers can find my treasure dumps
>let's customers in the restroom >listen for reaction
>been doing this for years

>>690246632

Oh! I still love my wife! I know that already.

>>690232176
Years ago my best friend and I were roommates. I always got girls but he never had a girl friend. He finally finds a girl he thinks is into him: talks about her all the time he finally asks her out. The date is successful but he doesn't get any pussy. The go out a few more times but no pussy for him. She comes to our house to meet him. He's not home yet. She's a 9/10 dumbest blonde girl. I smoke some weed with her and have my cock in her mouth in a half hour and fucking her after that. The two become a regular thing and eventually get married. I still fuck the dumb slut every chance I get. Friend has no idea

>>690247047
Pix of her

>>690246792

If the opportunity arises, I know too well I will be VERY highly tempted to do it. However, I could be wrong and she might think of me as a very close friend.

>>690246789
Keep your mouth shut fuck it

I'd like to suck a nice dick to see what its like

>inb4 tits or gtfo
I'm a dude

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>>690247144
what if I get asked personally, because truth be told, I was using the car for like 70% of the time in last 2 months, and If I was the boss I'd ask me.

>>690247386
And? Like you said no one checked it after you turned it in not your problem. If he does ask just bring up that fact.

>>690246680
keep it coming anon

>>690240243
A real human bean

>>690247386
this should help you out
http://putlocker.is/watch-american-dad-tvshow-season-12-episode-20-online-free-putlocker.html

Almost got my friends gf in high school put in jail. She did a shit ton of drugs and he broke up with her. A month or two later, she called him while we were partying at his house, and threatened to tell the police he raped her if they didn't get back together. On my way home, I left a tip with the police that she was a drug addict. They never did shit about it, until she was in the hospital for an overdose a few months later. I really hope she died from it.

>>690247219
Fag here. Try it sometime, it isn't that bad.

Fucked my exs sister two days ago and fucking her again tonight

Ex broke my heart so I'm braking her family apart , her mom had a crush on me too and is single , so she is next

>>690232176
When I was 10 I persuaded a retarded kid to eat poisonous berries and he died.

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>be me
>8 or 9 y/o
>have friend living next door
>she was a 7/10 ginger big boobs 15 or 16
>we played everyday
>would always lead to somthing sexual
>always showed me her boobs
>one day alone at home with her
>watching bambi or some shit cartoon
>we are in the same bed laying down
>under blankets
>she asks if she can suck my dick
>i said no
>regret it everyday
>feelsbadman

>>690247486
>>690247624
I guess It's all about killing that "THEY KNOW" instinct, i need to believe into my own bullshit story that I did not do it

>>690246285
Haha what a prank. Because he don't eat pork or drink booze. What a genius. If he was a bad Muslim he would kill you. Actually his religion saved you. Let's hope he doesn't gossip about that event. Cuz good Muslims should not gossip I heard. Lol imagine living a life on several people's nr1 kill list. Haha omg you a such a funny fun guy. Good prank. Uh maybe this reaction of mine also gives you a little kick. Like the kick you are afraid of getting every time someone walks behind you.
Join a kkk group of similar faggots to avoid being killed. Then you can share stories and faggot each other.

>>690246285
You should've just told him to leave you guys alone. It's that simple anon.

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>>690232176
I really really like this picture and I wait for YLYL threads to appear so I can post it over and over again

>>690248366
Don't know why but I kek'd out loud at this. Thanks anon.

>>690249514
Wow anon. That's really something you're doing with your life. Still I'm not one to judge. But pls reconsider your life choices.

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>>690232176
This happened to me six years ago.

>be 13
>be camping with friends by bonfire in friend's back yard
>not the first time we've done this so we're just chilling, talking around the campfire
A little info for reference
>friends are John, Jack and my brother Joe.
>John's the owner of the property
>Jack lives next door to John
Now back to the story
>John and Jack start wrestling
>Jack's pinned so I go to help
>grab John with a choker hold not realizing my own strength (I'm not a strong guy)
>He starts freaking out
>I back the fuck up quickly
>He starts punching the shit out of Jack
>"WHY'D YOU CHOKE ME?!"
>Jack gets out from under him
>"I didn't fucking choke you!"
>Jack throws a punch at John
>John flips the fuck out
>Grabs a lawn chair and hits Jack with it a couple times before Joe steps in to stop the chaos
>Joe gets hit with the chair
>John grabs the rod we were using to tend to the fire (it's red hot rn)
>"I'm gonna fucking brand you."
>Joe disarms him and throws that shit the other way without getting burned
>Jack's in bad shape but still trying to fight
>Throws another punch but gets hit multiple times without landing it
>Joe successfully drags Jack away trying to take him home
Jack's in really bad shape at this point, looks like he's about to pass out.
>As Joe's dragging him away he turns back to me and John and shouts, "YOU CAN'T HOLD ME! THE WORLD CAN'T HOLD ME!"
This was a deep ass voice too, pretty intimidating
>Immediately after he says that he passes out falling like a sack of fucking potatoes

>Mfw three years later John shot himself in the head, still thinking it was Jack that choked him

>>690233484
I can see into your future:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=429124

>>690249779
what is gbs

>>690239246
You have to tell someone about the suicide attempts. The biggest predictor of a successful suicide is a previous attempt. You were not meant to be unhappy, but your story shows that you are unhappy and that you are having a hard time coping. The only way you seem to cope is by attempting to end your life. Please get help. You deserve to be happy. You are worth it.

>>690247972
Maybe because you like it?
I dunno, I'm just curious. I'm probably bisexual but I dunno

>>690232176
I am a young succeful male with friends good looks a house and cars , I intend to book a flight to a foreign country without telling anyone and overdose on drugs while fucking all the girls and hookers I can .

>>690250606
k00l

Now when did you start roleplaying?

>>690250606
Make a snap chat and post your adventures for us!

>Be me 17 years old
>Dabble in meth socially at parties and shit
>Dec 1
>Friends and I make a running joke, "0 sleeps 'til Christmas"
>FF to Dec 27th
>Haven't slept since Dec 1
>Pass out, admitted to hospital
>Collapsed a vein, sever malnutrition
>Keep using for about 6 months
>Ingested approx 450 grams over that period

Anyone want to hear my tales?

>>690250515
If you ever decide to try it, do it with someone you trust not to tell everyone, unless you don't care. Either that, or someone you'll never see ever again.

I tie my balls up with a rubber band during the day to cum more for my wife at night.

>>690251436
Yeah, go on

>>690251631
What are you interested in? Violence? Self degradation? Scariest moments?