never had that happen, fam
you?

never

caught watching porn when i was like 7-8 but never fapping

>Be me.
>Be 13.
>Be a weeaboo fag who loves hentai.
>Be in a hentai steam group.
>Be steam friends with mom, for multiplayer of like, the 2 games we both like.
>Accidentally mention hentai around mother.
>OhFuck.jpeg.
>Be questioned.
>Dodge questions.
>FF to next day.
Get a steam message from mother.
>It's about the hentai steam group.
>Time to prepare.
>Get speech on obvious shit about porn like "it's not real" and "don't take it seriously."
>Shit that a toddler could figure out.

In the end, I wasn't really punished, just given some short speech on obvious shit.

>>688129521
Who the fuck sits naked jacking it while there mom is in the house?

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>>688129521
I was caught, but never directly approached about it.

>be me
>probably 14 or 15.
>rubbin one out at the speed of sound
>rubbing so fast that i could re-enact traditional abo fire making
>feel like i am about to blow
>look at tissue box, nothing
>give a brief thought about getting the other tissue box
>fuckit.jpg
>blow my load and cum all over my shirt
>more cum than I expected, slightly impressed and pleased with myself
>carefully take off shirt
>think about taking it inside to chuck it in the dishwasher
>nah, that'd be too suspicious
>instead just put it in my drawer, leaving it to make this horrendous smell
>fast forward to next day
>entirely forgot about and went to school
>came back to find it missing
>hidden like Anne Franklin
>immediately knew parents must have found it
>played it off like nothing happened
>went out to the living room
>there it was, right on the coffee table
>folded up and perfectly clean

My alcoholic junkie mother in a drunken drug addled stupor, caught me masturbating, mistook me for my father, and fucked me.

Not a word was ever said about it, was like it didn't happen.

Then again I was tripping balls pretty hard too.

I was jerking off to some MLP goodness and she kicked open my door. Her response was "You know that counts as porn" before scuttling off

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>>688131010
Lost my shit at
>rubbing so fast that i could re-enact traditional abo fire making

>>688131010
That's creepy af.

Like... They just wanted you to know, that they know, you wank it.

>>688131269
nice

>>688130838
>Be 13.
>Be a weeaboo fag who loves hentai.
>Be in a hentai steam group

>13 in a steam group
GTFO

>>688131368
you know that counts as autism

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my mom caught me jerking it to the dark knight ingred once

never spoke about it. I guess she just didn't know what to say.

>>688131435
yeah this, the fuck?

>>688129521
I've literally never been caught masturbating or watching porn, although it's been found on my computer before.

It was some weird shit too. Try to explaining why there's Horse Porn and Spongebob Hentai in your search history when you're 13.

>>688129521
>masturbate in the shower
>moan a lot coz tranny
>sister knocks on door
>shut up
>okay
>jokes on her, that shampoo bottles been up my ass

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>>688131724
That's gay.

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>>688131724
>jokes on her, that shampoo bottles been up my ass

>>688131010
>dishwasher

>>688131010
>Anne Franklin

im ded.

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>be 11
>find hotnet PPV
>buy one vid ($60)
>tape it
>wait a couple of months
>never hear about it
>buy another, tape it ($60)
>wait a couple months
>nothing, no scolding, no questions
>now buy one every day I get home from school
>figured the bill appeared as a one-lump-sum or something
>rack up $5K in hotnet movies over the next couple of months (tape them all, had to tape over my dad's copy of HEAT, but whatever)
>turns out my dad would order those once in a while, so when I ordered one or two here and there, it went unnoticed
>now this gigantic bill comes
>my brother and I are questioned, deny everything
>parents divorce
>no_rugrats.wav

At one point my mother actually found one of the VHS's in the VCR I'd left there one day by mistake, but I blamed it on my sister (sister was like 12 at the time, I was prolly 17 at this point) and she fucking bought it.

Story 2
>be 15, fucking gf at her house
>gf getting close and making noise
>her younger sister (14) fucking walks in while we're both literally cumming and throws cold water on us
>"SHUT THE FUCK UP"
>walks out
>I thought I just got xenomorph acid dumped all over me (being so hot and sweaty and suddenly ice water splashed on you)

And yeah.

>>be 2004
>>be underage b&
>> be straight jacking it for 2 girs on msn
>> mom outside having a cigarrette
>>about to cum
>>loud banging on basement window
>>mom comes in crying
>>girls on cam see and laugh
>>one month later
>>run into girls at theatre or something
>>laugh in my face
>>laugh too, straight up bring it up and say it out loud
>>completely declawed teenage girls
>>massive win at the time
>> see them again later in private, they mention how hot it was, fuck one while the other watches a week later

Thanks mom

>>688132279
cool if true

>>688129521
Well she just found my porn stach under the bed and she kept saying how disappointed she was. Catholic mother...kek

>>688132279
>>>laugh in my face

We know this is the real ending anon, don't lie.

>>688130938
A horny kid for fuck sake

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>>688130938
what do you think that coffee cup on the desk is for, anyway?

>>688132515
Yeah i wish... my friends chirped me for a year because i decided to laugh at myself and straight call it out.But worth it,being the first one to get laid so id always use the "well atleast that" and that was usually enough to get em to stop...fod forbig they ever bribg ut back up i have to pokerface like a motherfucker

>>688131541
I fapped to this like 77 times planning on 78 (especially third episode)

>>688129521
This would be hot AF if the guy's dick was bigger.

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Saved for posterity and future generations. My fucking sides.

>>688129521
I was in elementary school, watching some tv in the living room(not porn but sexy enough for a kid) when she came home earlier than she was supposed to. She made a sort of OH! sound, said you should do that when you're alone and I said sorry, went to my room to wait the shame out. Probably 20 minutes or so then went and did something else.

jerked off all over her face in the shower. She said for me to stop it.

this thread is lacking pictures.

>>688132884
I only like the first one when she's getting gangbanged.

>>688129521
My mother caught me masturbating.

never I always do sneaky faps

Sometimes, like two or three, I was jerking off and when she opens the door I pull my pants up or cover myself quickly.

Probably not fast enough, she had never talk about it

>>688129521
> be me
> be 17 virgin cyborg
> been having this sock to come
> been using sock for fapping in bed
> 2 weeks FF
> my sock is all smelly and shit
> all drained in cum
> hide it under blanket
> arriving home
> can't wait to fap today
> comes in room, sees mum changed blanket
> fuckme.jpg
> starts looking after my trusty sock
> go out to get my laundry
> find my old nasty sock all cleaned
> never talked about it

Had fallen asleep with my dick in my hands and I'm pretty sure my mother came in my room and saw.

I have a vague recollection of her saying that she should give me some privacy but that could have been a dream.

Many years later in an argument she asked if my gf knew how small I am. Best I can figure that was an insult based on that experience.

My mother is schitzophrenic with some sort of personality disorder so fuck that bitch. Worst mistake of my life was feeling bad for her and trying to help her. I should have abandoned her when I had the chance.

>sorry for no green text.

>>688132231
Kekd so hard it made me poop good job

>>688135073
m8 my mom is a schizo too i fucking hate her

>>688129521
>Be me
>Be 11 years old, girl.
>Girls at school talk about masturbation
>Wait till parents asleep
> Strip off completely naked facing window, legs spread wide
>Rub my clit untill whole body tingles
>watching myself in window reflection
>Notice dad through the window
>He probably thinks I was staring at him
>Carry on anyway, I want his approval
> He open window, "anon what are you doing, the neighbours might see."
>His eyes on my naked body turn me on
> I Spread my vagina lips open
> "Do you want to put dick in me?" I ask
>Dad climbs through window and fucks me
> His dick is huge, It hurts but I want him to use me, and it feels so amazing
> I just lie with my knees up and legs apart while dad fills me with hot cum
> Carry on the next day like nothing ever happened
>2 months later realize I'm pregnant
>Dad takes me to get abortion without mum knowing
>Abortion failed
>Give birth to my own brother

>>688135368
I get it

>>688129521
MODS

>>688135368

Let me guess: You're from the South.

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>be confused 17 yo
>fapping to trap and shemale
>enjoying it
>'bout to cum on that sweet boi pucci
>Mom and dad blast into the room
>My dad ask "Anon why did you jerking off to a man, are you gay?"
>get pissed off because i'm about to cum and they interrupt it
>Yell "I'll fucking jerk off to anything that move, fuck off"
>Mom start crying and ran out of the room
>Dad giving me a look of disappointment
>He close the door
>Can still hear mom crying
>mfw i realize what i just said

>>688135572
We're gypsies

>>688135290
I tried to help my mom and bought a 2 family house so she could have a place to live and retire. Problem is she is still nuts and I can't have any sort of normal life because of her.

I wish I didn't hate her because I know she is sick. I wish I could actually help her but she has taken so much of my life from me while she wallows in her mental illness. It's tough being the child to someone who needs help like that because I was never in a position to get her the help she needs.

Now that I am an adult I am resentful of her. Years back I offered to pay for her to see a psychiatrist and she refused. She basically just denies there is a problem and thinks it's normal that the neighbors growl at her through the walls.

I just want a lower stress life at this point. I'd love to settle down with someone but I've tied myself down with this sick child of an elderly woman who can't or won't take care of herself.

I fucking hate my life and I don't know how to fix it because she has no friends and won't ever cooperate with people who try to help her.

>being kind to someone who is such a burden was a mistake

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>be me
>be 10
>summer break
>12:30 am
>have a trusty ipod touch
>watching porn no headphones
>trying to see how big i could get
>literally looks like im worshipping my dick
>mom walks in
>ohshit.jpeg
>toss over throw sheets over me
>mom yells at me and tells me to go to sleep
>never talk about it
>be me 13
>at family party
>"i once caught anon worshipping his dick"
>wtf_mom.png

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>be me
>be around 15
>fapping in computer room with door closed
>just about to come
>ohyes.jpg
>hear door open
>ohno.exe!
>mum comes in as I try to control wads of cum escaping
>"why is this door always closed, anon?"
>get into argument
>the whole time hand covered in cum
>not sure if she noticed

>>688135651
Zozzle

>>688135651
gold

>>688131010
>dishwasher

i always fap in a ninja costume

so they dont see me cumming

>>688135729
sick

>young
>Did stupid things like stay up real late on YouTube
>Was watching Pewdiepie

Hey, I think he's alright. Plus this was a couple years ago anyways

>Wearing headphones, watching Stranded gameplay
>Parents tell me to wear headphones
>Was hiding so as not to get caught watching YouTube
>Go out of room, engage plan pretendtousebathroomandactinnocent.jpg
>Parents confront me
>Say they heard porn
>Shows them Pewdiepie video, they didn't believe me
To this day, they still don't believe me.

>>688131724
Lost it

>>688129521
I was 13
I am taking a bath while I beat
It came when my mother had not noticed.
drove he came and went.
He never spoke about it ...

>>688132231
You're a piece of shit

>>688132231
>throws cold water on us
I cant breathe

>>688136534
Underage

>>688136702
Not sure if you know how to type in English. Maybe give it another try...

>>688130838
> steam message from mother
whos mother has fucking steam, what games would she even play?

>>688131010
same, they must have figured it out at some point what the white stain down the front of my hoodie was

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>>688137062
This sort of game I would imagine...

>>688129521
laterally never

step your fucking game up faggots

>>688137028
all I know ...

>>688131010
we need more storytime from you anon

>>688135903
Same problem with my mother, altgough she's more like an authority at home neither my father or me dare to piss off, although sometimes I behave like an authority too and get superangry too, and that's when the epic arguments happen at home.

But my problem is that either at home or outside, people start taking advantage of me and when I stop them, shit hits the fan. So either I'm ok with everything I don't like or I end alone (or worse, in an environment that hates me)

Ironically, people still don't get why I don't trust other people and why I'm so reserved

>>688135651
Did you get to cum?

>>688134190
Such a fine hentai, I loved that and when the blue haired bitch got gangbanged by the ogres, only God knows how many times I've fapped to that
REGRETS=NONE

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I've never been caught.

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>>688130838
Most hentai related steam groups started to surface in the past 3 years or so.

>Gtfo kid

>>688129521
What if i found my mom masturbating?

>>688131269

That's pretty cool man

>>688137980
Share the story Anon

>>688136952
Underage for what. Pr0nz or this site

>>688129521
>implying I have a mom

>>688131724

needs pics of anal insertion

>>688131269
she hot tho? are you happy it happened? would you do it again?

>>688130342
You were watching porn that young? How did you find out about porn?

>>688131010
>think about taking it inside
Where were you fapping?

>>688130838
Your mom sound really hot. Can you post pictures?

>>688130938
Whats the point of getting naked in front of computer, americunts?
With a girl it makes a sense, because its easier to touch each other, but in front of porn video?

mine is reverse. quite funny.

>>688130938
Europeans. When they finish they go to the beach.

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Never got caught
>be 12
>using mums iphone to jack it every once in a while
>told her that i had to read a E book for school
>believes it
>no wifi at the time (using her 3g)
>2 weeks later she gets a $300 dollar bill for all the porn i've been watching
>tells all her friends that i spent $300 reading a book
>Crisis averted

>>688138424
Feels good man

>>688138524
You should marry your mother.

>>688131010
>there it was, right on the coffee table
>folded up and perfectly clean
that must've be a message from mafia.
Luigi knows.

>>688135968
holy fuck this is gold

>>688138524
>Be 12
>iPhone


Fuck off underage faggot piece of fucking shit.

>>688129521
I'm too quick, super fast ninja wanker

>be 16
>fapped so many times
>wanna spice things up
>light candle and drop hot wax on my arm while I beat the meat
>was home alone
>music blasting
>didn't notice my dad come home
>he opens my door "anon can you turn your music a little bit do-"
>he looks hat me, covered in wax, dick in my hand
>never mentioned it

>>688136702
Lmao wtf am I the only one not understanding this

>>688135943
>10 with an iPod touch

Fuck I feel old.

>>688135943
How do you worship your dick?

>>688138688
Did u not read, i was using my mums iphone.

when your mother comes in you room you should just maintain eye contact and finish what you started

watch me get dubs on the first try faggots

>>688135943
Holee Shiite anon. Fucking ten thousand keks in this one!

>>688138891
Fuck off

>>688138872
WAAAY over your head.

>>688138891
not even close, check these out tho

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>>688138891
checked

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this is now a get thread

>>688135368
hot meme, fake, but hot meme

Please

>>688135943
>literally looks like im worshipping my dick
And this looks like what, exactly?

>>688138872
Are you fucking retarded, he's implying that you're so underage, that the iphone existed when you were 13.

>>688138291
In the garden like any normal person does

>>688135651
TOP KEK

im not a spider

>>688135943
When a friend or a family member who should care about your reputation behaves like this, it's beyond me if they are being douchebags on purpose or accidentaly. Makes you wonder if they deserve you.

>>688135651
>boi pucci
Worst Italian last name ever.

>>688139226
faggot

>>688137568
literally me. Down to
>Ironically, people still don't get why I don't trust other people and why I'm so reserved

I'm probably known in my apartment complex as "that kid who is always arguing with his mom". It's so embarrassing to look in their faces.

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>>688139226
A spider faggot, reminds me of this one superhero...

>>688139128
>He said 3g and he was 13
>Iphone 3g was out when I was 12 and I'm 21 now
>Being this much of a faggot

>>688139226
Spider fag, spider fag, likes to shot web with his dad

>>688129521
never been caught in person, my mother did find a porn print out that i had hidden extremely well. I learned new things that day, 1: that my grandmother was a bro and 2: that my mother was going through my shit, flipping mattresses, fully pulling dresses out and whatever else in an attempt to find anything i was doing at all

the picture was of a nude girl, not even getting fucked, with large breast.

what did my mother do? well she was psychotic as fuck to begin with, so instead of saying "neat, my son has an interest in women" she instead told the entire family, talking massive amounts of shit to everyone. so my grandmother calls me and she says "Hey. so your mother is talking about you to everyone. you know, I have a back room with a computer you can lock, if you need to do that stuff away from your mama." and I was so embarrassed being like 13 I did not know what to say.

so she said "well, it's there if you need it. I'm just so happy you are not gay like your older brother. I want grand children some day you know."

I just outright denied everything, modern me would probably just be like "fuck it, thanks grams, got any lotion while you are at it?"

i remember her saying something to my mother about me being healthy as well

>>688135651
fucking lost it

>>688139226
faggot

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>>688135651
>Did you jerking off to a man, are you gay?
>DAD YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THAT'S FEMININE COCK!

>>688136702
wot?

>>688133005
>muh reddit points

>>688135073
That got really sad really fast

>>688131724
-life expired from keks

>>688139349
Well, I don't always argue, despite the other person not changing their ways (I suppose I should keep fighting until winning or losing, if not you are back to the beginning) About other people, well, usually, everybody I meet starts respecting me until they see they can take advantage or that I can't defend myself really well (horrendously if we take into account reputation) I guess having conflicts is unavoidable but I would like to know how to succeed at them and be anle to do what I have to do, without hesitating or having doubts.

>>688138203
brother

>Told mom to quit smoking
>She did but once in a while she smoke one behind my back
>well fine
>one day after dinner mom goes on balcony to smoke
>Time for a quick fab challenge
>pick usual stuff guarantee came
>mom just have a half smoke and come in my room
>caught on action
>before mom say anything I reply to her shocking face
>I KNOW YOUR SECRECT
>she went out not to talk anything on that day

Never been caught because I use a tactile way of masturbating. Do as follows:
>lay on your side, on bed
>slip hands down pants
>grip the head with thumb and fingers
>two fingers at the bottem, thumb on top
>massage dickhead using foreskin till orgasm

And thats all she wrote. Best way to evade being caught. Just slip your hand out and pretend to sleep

>be 14 year old me
>alone in the living room while mom is sleeping in her room
>elder bro in his room
>daredevil awakens
>"I shall fap in a dangerous place"
>unzip pants, pull out cock
>imagination about my school crush gets me going
>after about 5 minutes mom walks in on me
>terrified, shove the erect cock back in my pants
>tent
>"What were you doing?"
>"Nothing mom"
>"You are hiding something in your pants"
>"No mom i swear there's nothing"
>"I can see it, you stuffed something in your pants and it's bulging"
>speechless
>comes at me, tries to get hold of the "thing" i am hiding
>whattheactualfuck.mpeg
>run out of the room
>off to a friend's place
>enter father at dinner
>mom narrates the incident, claims i was hiding something "probably mushrooms"
>dad gives her a look
>staring like old cowboy movies
>awkward silence
>mom realises
>looks at me disgustingly
>want to disappear in the thin air
>wasn't allowed to live alone in my room for next 6 years

>be me home alone
>head to bed room for a wank
>didn't close door no one is here
fuckit.jpg
>just as I cum see dad peek his head around the door
>making eye contact with dad while ejaculating

>be me
>16ish
>playing gta 4
>go to strip club, start fappin
>for some reason feel the need to keep my pants on
>GoodThinking.jpg
>Getting muh lap dance
>Comes in my room screaming about my English grade
>pop the dashboard button to cover the screen, thankfully boner is tucked in
>Stripper was still talking dirty when mom walked in
>Mom walked out, told me to get my shit together and stop playing so many god damn games
>Next day dad tells me I'd have less acne if I stopped jacking off

Shit could've been worse

>>688140242
>eye contact with dad while ejaculating
Fucking kek anon

>>688139845
I'm just waiting to graduate college so I can fuck off from this place and never come back. My family has physically and emotionally exhausted me to the point I just want to live a life where I get home and I don't have a person asking me questions and yelling at me every single time.

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>>688129521
2 occasions it has happened but hopefully she didn't actually notice

>carefree fapping vigorously
>fucking stealth invasion mum abruptly enters without knocking
>managed to rapidly pause and alt tab
>couldn't multi task in panic and put my cock away in time
>deer in the headlights.gif
>if I adjust myself now she will notice
>painful eye contact and conversation with mum while I try and pretend my erect dick isn't parading proudly
>fucking pray a fold of my shirt may have obscured it slightly
>probably didn't
>never spoken about

Fuck living at home. So glad now I can relax and fap as long as I want with no danger of interruption

>>688140411
you'll need to live alone little anon... lol

>>688139486
I love your grandma, she seems so chill.

>>688135968
>not sure if she noticed

>Found Zone-Sama hentai featuring starfire.
>I deleted history by searching what I looked up in the search bar and clicking x, because I was a fucking retard.
>Mom eventually finds video.
>Mom tells me that's not how it works, is disappointed but pretty calm.
>Computer gone for 2 fucking years.

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>>688138836

>>688139486
why do you own dresses? is there something you're not telling us? are you a "girly man"?

next time my sister stays over I might "accidentally" let her catch me fapping

>>688140496
kek, but it's true tho. Sad... And true.

>>688140063
Thought I was the only one. Tried and true method. Anyone else they are trying to get caught.no excuses

>>688131627
Kek

>be around 14
>been using a good wank sick for a couple of weeks
>we had cleaners that cleaned the house every two weeks (they would only pick up shit on the floor and put it on my bed)
>had my sick next to my bed on the ground from the night before
>completely forgot until I got to school
>ohshit.jpg
>come back home
>sock is gone
>never see it again
I don't talk to the cleaners now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugqZF4lAPMw stupid turk

>>688141231
>good wank sick
>had my sick next to my bed

congratulations on completely fucking that post right up

>>688140411
That was the point when I should have bailed. Unfortunately my mother worked me over for many years about how I would abandon her and I felt sorry for her. I needed to leave then but I didn't and I'm stuck trying to break free now which is difficult. She is still crazy and is now retired on a fixed income. (Not that she was ever really what I would call employed)

>>688138688
iphone came out in 2007 , so not necessarily .

i like to listen jb songs

>>688141438
Sock*

fuck I'm on mobile rn

>>688136702
Lost

Been meaning to get this off my chest for a while
>be me
>11
>found out about girls kissing
>needed better shit
>see add
>Mexican sugar dancing
>why not. Jpg
> 11:40pm already past bed time
>on top of bunk bed and scared of heights
>start getting it on with phone in one hand and 4" cock in the other
>door bursts open
>with all my might I throw my phone at the door
>hits mom in head
>screaming continues
>I initiate crying as a defense
>fml.Jpg
>dad rushes in
>The complete and utter look of confusion on his face
>he's looking at my phone
>11
>boy
>Mexican sugar dancing
>wife concussion
>fml

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>>688136702
>>688141752
same fag

>>688129521
>be in back when COD 4, probably 13-14
>2 am, naked as fuck because mom and sister are asleep
>jacking off to some hot red head bitch after logging in a few hours on that sweet MW
>knock knock anon
>niggaohno.png
>"wait lol sry mom"
>too scared to move, but turn off monitor
>"anon y u nakid?"
>live in Arizona so hot summer nights
>"I'm pretty hot mom"
>"well, why are you just sitting in front of a turned off monitor?"
>:^)

That's how I got my computer taken away for 3 months

She never caught me whacking but questioned my internet queries for "big boobs naked" on Google at age 12.

I spaghettied and ran away to the park for 2 hours. Came back, dad was home from work and laughed at me. So I guess it wasn't that bad, he told me viruses exist and to be careful, but it was still humiliating.

>be 15
>come home from school
>horny af
>go to bathroom
>lock
>get an old samsung smartphone
>load up some hardcore shit
>start going ham
>mom screaming at the door for me to open
>phone volume goes to 100 for no reason
>cant turn it down
>ohshit.jpg
>fight or flight response triggers
>throw the phone in the toilet
>my dick decides to cum
>fuuuu
>mom opens door
>finds me naked with cum all over me trying to get the phone out of the bathroom with porn on its screen while having a huge boner for whatever reason
>never spoke to her the same again

>>688129521
I thought I had the house to myself. I set up my Action Station (desk, cold metal chair, cold lotion, warm towel, glass of milk). I stripped down and sat on the chair, drank a sip of milk and started watching the episode of The US Office where Angela is wearing short shorts. I started my motions, mom came through the door and saw me sat in the Action Station. I tried to get up and explain but my back and ass had become stuck to the cold metal of the chair.

Never spoke of it. Didn't even finish off once she left.

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>be horny teen
>fap myself dry at every available opportunity
>ejaculate into socks, pants, anything at all
>come home from school one day
>mom has tidied my room
>all semen-crusted clothing gone from under the bed
>box of kleenex provided
>nothing said but I still burned with embarrassment
>especially when she left some new pants and socks on my bed later in the week

>>688138203
How do you not ?

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>>688142010
Jesus nigga

i usually jerk off while watching sky on roof

>>688139189
>>688139226
>>688139259
Samefag

>>688142010
epic disasterfap post, 10/10 I lol'd

>>688142010
Wtf

>>688142010
TOPKEK MY FRIEND

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ok , /b/ , here it goes .
>be me , 15 , alone at home
> feeling horny , decided to experiment
>no toys , whatever
> idea.jpg
>use banana with condom
>kind of gay , whathever
>up my ass
> not into it
>stop
>paranoid.png
>hide it
> about a week later , dad says my room smells like banana .
>ohfuck
>forget about it
>few weeks later , remember , and decide to throw it away , no longer afraid parents will find it
>ohfuck.jpg
>banana isn't there anymore

MFW someone found a dried up banana with condom on it .
No one ever asked me about it .

>>688142010
A million keks

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>>688142010
>go to bathroom
>lock
>...
>phone volume goes to 100 for no reason
>mom opens door

right, because phones go to full volume for no reason

and moms frequently break into locked bathrooms to see their sons

>>688137808
>fapping to gore
Who does that?

I've been on 4chan since 2004 and even I don't get how people can get off to this.

>>688135572
>neighbours

You're a fucking retard.

>>688142618
To be honest I could easily cum to that kind of stuff. You have to be an open-minded person, otherwise you can't.

>>688129521
I grew up with three older brothers and my dad, no mom though. At some point, I just decided that I wasn't going to grow out of my naked stage. I remember lounging around and casual touching it for years until I was like nine or ten. Around there I started going all the way and my dad pretty much told me I needed to orgasm in private. Still did the nudity thing but I started to jerk in my room. Eventually did it regardless if they saw because my brothers liked to interrupt me. Jerked with brothers occasionally (did it with them all but I don't think they knew I did it with the others). Hit puberty at like 13/14, started wearing boxers around the house at 16, then wore regular clothes senior year.

Enjoy by arrowless green text, niggers.

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>>688131479
Here... Savage.

>>688142613
Op of that here. It was a very old phone with broken buttons i think, might have accidentaly clicked them, and my mom was probabbly worried because i wasnt responding

>>688142763
"open minded' more like mentally sick

>>688140266
>day dad tells me I'd have less acne if I stopped jacking off
it could be true

>>688142892
That's what a close-minded person would say. Let me guess, you also don't like traps.

Your kind of people disgust me

>>688139135
Nate?

>>688142876
my iphone 4 does that too but how the fuck did your mom open the locked door

>>688129521
You fucking faggots, so many replies and not one sauce.

SAUCE PLS

>>688139226
you´re a fag spider

Always fapped in the closet and jizzed against the wall (dunno why) - once my mom saw the wet spot, touched it with her finger and licked the finger, because she wanted to know what it was... I was standing next to her

>>688142613
My phone randomly goes up and down in volume, the buttons get stuck

I'm not stupid enough to get caught, especially by my mother.

>>688143253
she knew

she knew exactly what she was doing

>>688129521
>be me
>11
>found out porn long ago, but discovered the feel-good properties of a good wank
>about to get circumcised, doctor spotted creases in skin below my penis
>"have you been masturbating lately?"
>mom says: "anon, tell me the truth, i won't tell anyone. I promise."
>everyone on the family was there inside the surgery room where i was being cut.
>fast-forward to days after circ
> pain is ligering, but very horny
>my dad, who has a camera in his room ever since he had a divorce with my mom, catched the whole action going on
>i started to wiggle my balls around, then came about 3 mins.
>camera catched the whole action
>ohshitwtf.jpg
>tried to delete footage
>saw even nastier stuff that my circ-wiggle extravaganza
>fast-forward when i was 17
>i had an arsenal of really huge buttplugs in my dorm
>mom's a conservative
>brought a priest with her
>shit
>tried to hide gaping misery
>priest arrived when i was still hiding it
>"son, let god heal you from sodomy"
>fml
>considered suicide

>>688143363
faggot

those dubs are mine

>>688136534
>Young
>Watching pewdiepie
b&

>>688143018
Doug?

>>688143441
such a fag, those are mine

>>688143426
he said that but secretly he was jealous and wanted to know where you got the buttplugs from

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>>688130838
>Be steam friends with mom

>>688129521
Sauce on the pic?

>>688134727
Are you 12? How can something be 'drained in' a liquid? It makes no sense at all. You obviously meant 'drenched in' but you're too fucking stupid to write a sentence properly. Kill yourself you utter idiot.

>>688143613
Lol

>>688136702
but then who was the phone?!

>>688131010
>Thinking about taking it inside
Do you fap in a shed?

>>688129521
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hojlP5Kns8

>>688132231
Fucking repost newfag autist kys

>>688143426
Why were you circumcised at 11? I got cut at 11 because my mom married a j*w and apparently I had to be, but it was in a ceremony at home. No doctor but a shit ton of people around, kek. It's on video too because of sentimentality or whatever the fuck.

>rip foreskin friend

>>688135651
You should definitely kill yourself. You're such a retarded faggot I don't know why you haven't done it already.

>>688141990
>That's how I got my computer taken away for 3 months
kek

>>688143990
Got a circ because here in my my country, it is considered taboo if you do not, and you will be entitled as a faggot for the rest of your life

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>>688129521
I can gladly say that even though I'm 30 years old I have NEVER been caught masturbating.

>>688138091
Both the same fucktard. Anyone who watches fucking pewdiepie is too young for the internet in general. Get off my fucking internet and get some taste you little faggot.

>>688132231
>>throws cold water on us
Fucking kek

>>688129521
Fuck yall underaged faggots, you don't know real pain.
>early-mid 2000s
>be 13
>grandma's house for the summer
>jacking it to my imagination cause no pc
>been jacking furiously for like 30 minutes because of lack of porn
>went through fucking 60% of the girls i knew with my mind
>finally getting to the edge
>door flies open and i jump off the edge
>somehow manage to pull up my pants as grandpa walks in
>"the fuck you doin' anon?"
>"just watching tv"
>buys it and walks out
>6 seconds of solid eye contact with drandpa while milions of my potential future descendants are being blasted all over my pants
>40 minutes of hard fucking work ruined

>>688144157
faggot

>>688144263
you know he was watching and just waiting for the best moment to ruin your wank

>>688140666
checked
well, she wouldn't ask why the door is always closed if she did, don't you think?

>>688144157
after 30 it is comfortable to move out

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Not sure was I caught because I played it off pretty well:

>Be me 6
>Learned about masturbation months ago
>Go in a living room behind a wall
>starttheprocess.jpeg
>mom walks in
>i quickly press my dick against my tummy and pretend im examing my nuts
>"Anon what are you doing?" in calm tone.
>Nothing, just examining my nuts.

Btw my mom always used to tell me to take good care about "the place" because I can get hurt pretty badly and considering I got circumised to check monthly for any infection.
So yea, I think I got away pretty slick.

After that been mastubarting for a lot of years, never been caught. Not even once.

>>688129521
>Be 15
>sleeping on the couch facing the back of it
>wake up with my earbuds still in
>Grab my phone and unlock it
>discover my morning wood
>Hope on that tube8
>Jenna Haze getting plowed gets me going
>Jerk so hard the couch is shaking
>ohShitNoTissue.avi
>Jizz in my boxers like an idiot
>Take my earbuds out and roll over
>Whole family is sitting there speechless
>I pass out and wake up an hour later all alone still on the couch
>hide in my room till dad walks in
>"You scarred your mother for life"

>thread about being caught
>most of stories includes smartphones

fucking millenial shit

>be me 13
>dad had a girlfriend
>once he saw my friends and i looking at some tits
>a few weeks later his girlfriend is over
>anon do you watch porn?
>yes
>dad chimes in "hes an american male with internet access what do you expect?"
>go ob with my life jacking off as i please

>>688144587
fucking kek
kekerino
im dead
kek

>>688144587
I bet your mom fantasized about you while your dad was plowing her after that

>>688144149
Are you a sandnigger ? Or a jew ?

>all these stories about parents finding your cum rag
>not practicing the ancient japanese technique of holding cum in to harness it's strength

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>>688134517

>be 18
>in the shower
>bathroom door never locked, but we pretty much had an open door policy anyway
>decide it's time to slam the salami
>stroking to me hearts content
>get that feeling... seconds away before blast-off
>mother walks into the bathroom
>"sorry anon, just needed my brush"
>facing away from shower curtain, dick harder than diamonds
>"O-ok mom"
>dafuq... is she making the brush out there?
>cock begging to be stroked a few more times, just can't with mom three feet away
>boner starts to deflate
>mom finally leaves
>takes about 30 seconds to get it back up and blow my load into the tub

>>688144859
KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

>>688144818
Jungle-nigger christian

>>688144859
>being this much of a wizard

>>688140201
that's really sad if it's true. not only your mother is a self-assertive, opressive cunt, she's also retarded

>>688139226
You homosexual arachnid

>>688142947
except it's not

>>688144764
you really are dumb...

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I got loli

>>688139486
>Gay like your older brother
Your mom failed with her first child. No wonder considering she freaked out about a pair of titties...

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>>688145361

>>688145415
wtf is that pokemon ball?

I have 2 stories, first was when i was 12, 7th grade. My mom didnt find me masturbating but saw I Was looking at porn on the computer, keep in mind this is 2002 so porn was mostly pictures and limewire downloads. She had me sit next to her, while she went to every single link I visited every single video and picture and explained how they were wrong and immoral and how those women were raped and I was a terrible person. Then when i was 17 She walked in on me, dick in hand (she never knocked, like EVER) and she just TURNED AROUND, and started talking to me about something, sick bitch didnt even leave the room.

>be 16
>come home from school
>note where my computer used to be
>"Ladyboy Adventures and CD teen get humiliated by blacks" written on a note
>never spoke of it again

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>>688144952
>being a lesser being
i cannot hear you for my level is far greater than yours

>be me
>14 yo
>I had a personal teacher that gave me english leasons
>She was cute as fuck but she was 23 at that time
>Had the idea to fap when she goes to the bathroom
>One day i didn't stop when she comes back and I keep going
>Rubber falls to the ground, she goes to chatch it
>"OH SHIT"
>She sees it and I came
>We never mention it and we talk sometime

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>>688145458
Yep

>>688140201
Your mom is literally a fucking dumbass. Good god some people should take classes on how to be parents.

>>688145523
you were her porn

got herself off with a massive dildo that night and dreamed about you fucking her

>>688143253
Your mum must be retarded

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>>688145565

>>688138688
Stop trying so hard.

>be me maybe 13yo
>long drive from Canberra to Sydney in van with family and relatives (small family)
>suddenly had the urge to fap
>be smart and get the impression that if I'm quite enough no one will know
>put pillow on lap to hide
>cum
>realize that cum has a smell. Smell is slowly spreading out of my pants.
>Praying no one finds out
>No one mentions anything

>>688145732
my moms a psycho cunt, that wouldn't even surprise me that much. example
14 years old on my bday, we were going to water park, in the car with me and 4 of my friends, I said "whatever" because she was started to get on to me about something very trivial (think clothes on the floor not in hamper) and she turned the car around after driving almost 2 hours, and took all my friends home while screaming at me about respect, cancelling my bday party. I was then grounded for 4 months. Then when I got home my step-dad beat my ass to the point where I was bleeding in some spots and couldnt sit down.. ahhh childhood