I'm bored as fuck so I'm just gonna tell you all about autistic shit I did in my childhood. Add your own if you want, I don't care.
>Be me
>About 10 or 11
>Playing LittleBigPlanet
>You were able to make your own levels, and publish them to the wider PSN community
>People who made popular levels became community celebrities
>decide I want that """"lifestyle""""
>Don't want to have to work for it, all my levels are shit
>Have an idea
>Befriend a popular creator
>We talk about different level ideas, just so I can gain his trust
>Start acting distant after a while
>He wonders whats wrong
>Tell him I have lung cancer
>Tell him I caught it from second hand smoking
>Say I have a week to live
>He makes a memorial level for me
>Become posthumous celebrity
>mfw
I'll post more, I don't have anything ese to do.
>>686505792
Bump because I'm intrigued
>>686505792
>Be me
>about 6 years old
>Mum spends a summer doing a course to learn how to be a teacher
>Dad is working
>My older female cousin is babysitting for the three weeks.
>Her and my older and younger brother
>Normally we liked her
>She was not our mother though, so we make her life hell
>Laugh at all the meals she cooks us.
>Make fun of her friends
>One day we dress a big teddy bear in my younger brothers clothes and threw it out an upstairs window while she was looking out the window below.
>We made her hate us forever
>Laugh at her when she cried.
What the fuck was wrong with us?
When I was 12-14 I would join yahoo chat rooms and jack off on cam for creepy old men. I also recorded a video of myself and put it on limewire and left it there for about 2 weeks before I realized I could get my parents in a ton of trouble. I've been wondering if any pedos out there still have images/videos of me from back then.
>>686505792
>Spend a whole summer watching forrest gump
>One viewing a day
>Knew the script inside and out
>Sometimes watched it backwards by rewinding it and shouting the lines as they'd be said
>Pass up social events to watch Gump
>mfw I regret none of it
I was at the mall with my mom and I made her smell my finger that was in my ass
>>686506698
Did something similar, but it was happy feet. No idea why, but I was obsessed with that move for a solid 6 months and watched it at least once per day.
>>686505792
>Once me and my brothers set up a cult for the neighbourhood
>We worshipped a mattress, and a drawing of the mattress
>Whenever someone knew would be initiated into the cult, we'd pour a cup of water over the drawing
>"""prophecy""" said that whoever was initiated upon the breaking of the drawing would be the chosen one
>mfw the faggot kid was the chosen one
>mfw we disbanded our cult the day after our messiah appeared
>>686506698
did this with Dude Where's My Car
>>686506563
I wish facebook had that feature
And yes, a number of people almost certainly have your video
>>686507423
What feature? Chat rooms?
>>686506698
>>686506698
Dude, when I was like 7/8 years old I watched Forrest Gump every single day. I still know every line to that fucking movie.
>>686507423
I don't know why, but I kinda like to imagine those videos still exist somewhere. I never showed my face, so I'm not worried about ever getting recognized.
>>686505792
>10 years old
>Little Big Planet
Underage B&
>>686505792
>Heard my crush saying the feeling of shaved legs was the best thing ever
>Sperg out, think she means on men as well
>Agains my parents advice, I shave the front of my legs bare, shiny bare
>Back is still hairy as fuck
>Next day, crush mentions the smooth legs thing.
>I curl up my trouser leg and reveal my handiwork.
>Stunned silence.
>"A-anon.. ehy did you just shave the front of your legs??"
>Say that I didn't want to look like a freak
>mfw I look back on this
>>686507739
Lbp came out 2008. Even if he was 10, if he played it the year it came out, he would be 18 right now.
>>686507739
LBP came out in 08. 8 years ago.
>>686507739
Failure
>>686507737
>so I'm not worried about ever getting recognized.
Yes, because someone would stop you and say "Hey you look like a kid I used to jack it to!"
>>686507550
boys jerking on cam at randum
>>686508110
I don't mean recognized today, I mean if someone knew me as a kid and saw the video.
>>686505792
>Capture frogspawn
>Wank off into it
>Want my sperm to fertilise the eggs
>Wanted frog servants to make girls like me
>Remember planning to have them attack my crush, and then having me save her i a choreographed fight scene
>mfw no frog babies
>>686508247
Who the fuck saw your naked body when you were a kid and who the fuck would remember what it used to look like
>>686508571
Idk man, it was just a passing thought. Don't over think this
These are my favourite threads now
>>686508550
>>686508550
you can't possibly think this if you can produce sperms
>>686508571
I'll overthink it all I damn well please ya eat more twink
>>686508793
I did though. I saw no reason why we couldn't crossbreed. This was when I was 12
>>686506698
Khris? I was watching it with you bro
>>686509070
I ain't Khris. I appreciate another Gumper though.
>>686509205
He was my best friend. Moved to Arizona in 96 and I lost touch with him.
>>686508954
well its adorably twisted i suppose
>be me
>be little kid, 7 or 8
>wouldn't eat much, mom wanted me to eat healthy, I refused
>must have developed an iron deficiency
>one day decided to take out all the spoons and lick and suck on them
>the metal tasted so good
>put them back
I dunno to this day why I would do this so often.
>>686508571
As in recognize his face you inbred
What the fuck is this thread.
>>686510641
Autistic shit you did as a kid.
You must be amerifat because your critical reading skills are gr8.
first sentence op posted m8.
>>686507821
>>686507908
Holy fuck this must be what getting old feels like
>be me at 4 years old
>Stay at my nana and papas house cause mom has kancer
>cousin with meth head mom stays there too
>he touches my wiener and sucks on it too
>tell him no but he keeps making me
> made me uncomfortable so I told my dad
>Dad yells at me and takes me away
>mfw I see him at rare family events to this day
That was the gayest shit of my childhood.
>be me
>8-9 years old
>'sex education' at school
>sheltered christian upbringing
>what the fuck is sex?
>seperated by gender and age
>go to classroom with teacher and 50 boys my age
>teacher - "now does anyone know what an erection is?'
>get really excited
>i fucking know this one
>my hand shoots up
>teacher picks me
>"thats where Jesus rose from the dead!" I exclaim proudly
>moment of silence
>teacher loses his shit
>has to go outside to recover his sides
>everyone laughing at me
>face red as fuck. Dont understand whats so funny.
>see another teacher approach ours
>mustve told her
>both look in at me and lose shit again
>twf jesus wasnt erected from the dead
>>686508550
Interesting. Continue...
>>686506563
>Wonders if someone still has it
Nice try FBI
>Be me.
>Best friend with this girl I've known since elementary.
>Also friend with a guy name John.
>All three of us are close and grew up together as friends.
>Practically inseparable.
>Ended up going to the same University together.
>Despite being together never thought of my best friend romantically.
>Always felt like she was a sister to me.
>Chill together at my apartment one night.
>John is drinking a little to much and ends up persuading my best friend to take off her clothes.
>She does it.
> One thing led to another and we're all naked.
>Ended up having a threesome.
>First time having sex, so I'm losing my virginity to my best friend.
>Finish and tired so we all pass out.
>Wake up to realize what just happened.
>Weird as fuck but we laugh it off.
>Even though we're friends, all three of us agree to form a mutual friend with benefits type of pack.
>See nothing wrong with this idea.
>All of us are single and have sexual needs.
>Continue our friendship normally with the occasional sleeping together every now and then.
>Winter comes.
>John has to leave and go work in another city for the semester.
>I assume the threesome is over and that the sex was going to stop.
>Best friend calls me and asks me to come over to hang out with her.
>Go over expecting to watch a movie or something.
>She's naked and wants to have sex.
>Wondering why since John is gone.
>She says why not? We can just continue with the both of us.
>I can't argue with that.
>Continue the FWB thing with her.
>With John gone, I start to hang out with her a lot more.
>Not just sex but also doing regular stuff.
>Start to develop feelings for her.
>Tell her how I feel and she's okay with it.
>She tells me she use to had a crush on me.
>Take her on multiple dates.
>We're a couple now.
>John is back. We haven't told him yet that we are dating.
>He's been asking us when we can hang together. He's been looking forward to our usual threesome.
>>686511444
The numbers...
Also kek
>>686513202
That's cool, but also awkward as fuck.
>>686513202
Kill John and run away to Germany with your soon to be wife!
>>686508550
>>686505792
>be 8 or 9
>Absolutely infatuated by sticks
>Any sticks
>All sticks
>I'd pretend they were swords and smack trees with them
>Would play out fights with inanimate objects
>One day a lady comes outside
>Notices me
>Asks me nicely to stop smacking her tree with a stick
>I cry and scream
>"IT'S A SWORD"
>As I run inside.
>Later on, I'm playing with my favorite stick
>Girl my age decides to throw a rock at my stomach
>It doesn't hurt
>I'm just horrible with people
>I start crying and screaming
>She comes up and breaks my stick
>I die inside and punch her in the face
I'm not sure why, but I loved sticks.
>>686508550
wtf.
>be 12-13
>lie in bed in front of a window
>take off my clothes like a stripper
>put my feet on the window
>stretch my asshole open
>twist it from side to side until I came
>didn't understand I could cum from touching the d
>thought nobody could see me
>window faced trees and a windowless part of a neighbors house
>cum buckets
>look out window
>raccoon watching from a tree branch
>he's touching himself
>>686516703
>cumming from twisting your asshole from side to side
???
I try this alone and it doesnt get traction. So here's how i ended up not being autistic
PART I: THE GREAT SPERG
>I was 12 years old
>I was the mist hated kid in school
>The others called me faggot and retard every day
>I find a group of people who seem to not be stupid enough to bully me
>I sit with them and greet my new friends
>"Listen kid, you aren't our friend. You're nobody's friend."
>I said I would kill them all
>One of them laughs and says "Like you could even pic up the gun
>I rush to the bathroom
>I'm crying, but i try to calm down
>I suddenly feel a strong urge to shit
>Shit tears through my cheap knock off clothing ruining it
>I ditch the clothes and sprint through the hallways
>I search rapidly for a room
>The music room is empty and the lights are off
>I rush in and hide behind the piano
>I sit there and sob for a bit
>I hear a noise
>It was the fattest kid in school and he too was sobbing and naked
>We began to talk
>The bell rings
>We return to our hiding spots
>The music teacher comes in as does the class
>I remain hidden, but the fat kid gets noticed
>He sprints out but falls in the door
>Everyone is laughing and staff are showing up to deal with it
>I see the kid who mocked me earlier
>I charge at him with a pencil and stab him, before running down the hall to an exit and then to the dumpster
>I hid there until 4am
>I walked home in shame
>>686517156
PART II: THE BUREAUCRACY STRIKES BACK
>Come back to school the following monday
>Interestingly the incident seemed to be forgotten
>After a half hur in first period I'm called to the office
>I walk down knowing whateve i do now i'm fucked
>There were a few filled out Office refferals on the desk and a nice stack of statements
>Cunt principal decides to speak first
>"You realize why you're in trouble"
>Sarcastically reply
>Get lectured for disrespect
>The kid who I stabbed with a pencil comes in
>"Now i need you two to both write statements
>I ask him why we cant talk
>"Just write statements"
>"Hey dickhead, why cant we talk?!"
>"Just write"
>I'm getting pissed off.
>Decide I'm not going to write this BS
>Kid i stabbed comes into office first
>After a HALF HOUR of this shit, I get called in
>He calls me in and hands me my referrals and tells me I have a 8 day suspension.
>I ask why I cant explain myself
>"You declined writing a statement"
>I sigh and wait.
>Notice the refferal for the kid i stabbed
>He gets a three day suspension for his involvement
>Mfw
>>686517238
PART III: LOCKDOWN
>Mom was schocked
>She just ranted incoherently from the time we got in the car to three hours later
>She didn't want a justification and she left me alone
>Until a couple hours later where she told me to get in the car
>I wondered what this was, as we drove to a part of town I'd never seen before
>I'm lost and wondering, and it seems the area we're going to is somewhat iscolated
>We drove up to this building
>It had walls and a gate, and i wondered what the hell it was
>After some waiting I was escorted into the building by a stranger
>After having my shit taken, and taken into my room i realized where i was
>A mental institution
>I began to get pissed off and I punch the bed and shit
>The room is damn near empty, except for a bed, a desk w chair, and a shelf wih some old ass books i didnt bother reading.
>After a little while I get to go to this group thing where I really just got upset at the world
>The only thing I liked about it was this wierd bipolar bitch named gwen.
>Gwen and I got along well and talked until the event ended
>Each room had a number, and I was in room 203.
>She was in room 220 which was down the hall on the opposite side.
>After the session was dinner and thats when my time became shittier.
>The food was fucking disgusting. Like little ceasers would be god's gift compared to this shit
>After eating that a feeling of emptinees loomed over me, and before i knew it I was back in my room.
>I awoke at god knows when to find Gwen in my room.
>I was wondering WTF was happening
>Counselers had room keys, and it wasnt hard to get them.
>Gwen and I had a lengthy discussion on lame shit that you only talk about when you're desperate for contact.
>"Listen Gwen" Have you ever thought about getting a key to the main door
>"No, anon Only the security have them"
>"Security are shit. Some lazy fucker must give you a window of opportunity.
>Gwen says she'll think about it
>>686508813
Shut up you fucking teenage homophobe
>>686508571
>>686517304
PART IV: BREAKING THE CHAINS
>Next day during breakfast we discuss our plan
>Gwen said she knows some "antisocial" kids who hate this one fucking counseler
>If they were pissed enough at a moment they'd go apeshit
>Nothing aggrivates like shitty first impressions
>I throw them some food, and as a fight almost breaks out it's resolved.
>As we're being escorted back i notice something in my pocket
>A room key and a note
>When i get back I open up the note with some room escape instructions.
>Sometime later we're back in our groups and the kid who almost kicked my ass is there
>I decide to flick some pocket lint his way, and throw in a booger or two
>Hell breaks lose
>The kid sprints at me, before the counseler pulls him back
>A couple of his friends join in and security there tries to resolve
>Its a bit much and more come in
>in the chaos I notice some keys drop
>I grab them quickly
>Just as I think i've been noticed Gwen starts flipping shit, and draws focus
>>686517768
PART V: ON THE RUN
>Its 2AM
>Gwen comes in the room as expected
>We move through quickly and quietly
>We unlock the main door
>I breath fresh air
>We keep running for sometime
>After afew hours of walking we find some stores
>Gwen and I have no money, so we go back a bit into the forest (Live in MD so trees everywhere)
>We find a nice area to lie down and sleep
>The area has a tattered backpack, which Gwen decided to make use of
>Morning comes
>Stores are more active
>Gwen steals some shit
>The town isnt too big, and we decide to keep walking as we have not many other worries.
>She managed to get shit to help move us forward
>As we keep on moving the areas become less iscolated
>Basically we alternated between walking around finding places to take shit from and sleeping in the woods
>This was all a great bit of fun
>My liking to her grew and I couldn't bring myself to Imagine fate afterwards
>On the third day all the fun came to a stop when she decided that it was time to think about getting home.
>We didn't really know where we were, because what was town was large and undefined, but we needed transport
>We decided to get a package with some candy bars
>We go door to door selling them for a good price as a "School fundraiser"
>We managed to get a decent amount of money that day
>Area has a nice bus system, and we decide that we'll seperate tommrow
>We eat at the mcdonalds for dinner
>>686505792
>Little Big Planet
>10 or 11
>Little Big Planet came out in 2008
Holy shit, i thought you were underage, its actually been 8 fucking years since 08, damn
>>686517905
PART VI: CLOSING THE RING
>I wake up the next morning
>Gwen Gone, bag Gone
>I find a folded piece of paper similar to that with the key
>I pocket it and get moving to a bus stop
>I get on a bus, and not long after things get familiar
>I get off shortly after, and walk the rest of the way home
>Knock on door
>Mom answers and is beyond shocked
>Tell her I got out, and Ask when I'm ungrounded
>Tfw stil in trouble
>Go upstairs
>Open note
>Its really vauge and All I could really draw is that she had shit going on and had to leave earlier for some
bullshit
Well, atleast she wrote a statement
>>686511444
Check'd
>>686506698
Did basically the same thing with Weekend at Bernie's. It seems weird as fuck now that I think about it.
>>686518075
and thats fuckin it? what happened after the officials realize you broke out of a mental institution
>>686519565
Now, I'm not exactly the one responsible for shorting that shit out. After a fuckton of bullshit I didn't bother to learn about It got sorted out.
>>686518045
I did the same shit man. Its fucking weird