>>685883767
>First, I'd take everyone's Irises, and make them see everyone as beautiful
>Then, remove all mirrors or the ability for people to see themselves
>Then, I'd give everyone herpes of the mouth
>Now because I'm a trickster god, this herpes causes people to shit themselves uncontrollably at a certain point of the day
>Now everybody looks like shit and smells like it too.

>>685883767
i log out of chatango and post my shitty threads on capicoli's website

>>685883767
Make all the mirrors display an unbelievably blurry image. Oh, and turn all pencils and pens into sentient dicks.

Make it so people never sneeze, but like it feels like they need to because they have that tingle that never goes away

I put a sign on Mars, near where a rover currently is, that says "Welcome to Level Two" in Latin.

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>>685884181
>im greentexting for no reason other than trying hard as hell

lurk moar faggot

Here is what I do: Stop everyone from sneezing. Think about it. How long until humanity collectively realizes nobody is sneezing? People would freak the fuck out. Headlines reading "Have we lost the ability to sneeze?", alien conspiracies abound, etc, etc. And then I would turn back on sneezing. Those few days/weeks would go down in history. They might even revolutionize the way we think about probability/the universe.

Make everything they do backwards. So if you want to move your left hand. You'll need to try to move your right.

>>685884751
It's not too ridiculous, and that's the point. People wouldn't immediately suspect magic/supernatural beings, they would try to explain it logically.

>>685884791
The brain would adjust pretty quickly no?

Replace the words "negative" and "positive" with "Aladeen".

>>685884751
Holy shit...

>>685884751
kek!

>>685884751
This is why I keep coming back

>>685884751
It would be written up to a form of mass hysteria, in a not much different way than that Berenstein Bears bullshit. That is, if you turned it back on. If you left it off, it would certainly cause more trouble.

I'd kill all the niggers, sand niggers, and jews. Humanity won't know how to act when there's no crime.

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>>685883767
Switch all genders. Girls go to sleep one night, wake up as guys. Guys go to sleep, wake up as girls. Sit back with about 40 tons of popcorm and watch the hilarity ensue.

Give half of the people on earth superpowers such as psychokinesis.

>>685884979
yes, after a good while. then you could change it back and watch them struggle all over again!

>>685884595
why latin? wouldn't hebrew fuel the conspiracy theories?

>>685885581
What about the people like you?

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>>685885700
ALL the genders.

>>685883767
Penises and holes repel each other like magnets

Easiest answer, worldwide emp bombing. Most electronics cease to function.

make all of the nukes magically dissapear. and make humans lose the ability to build new ones.

cold war is about to heat up

>>685885919
Orgasms make people explode

>>685885675

Well I don't know Hebrew, and when I become a trickster god I'm not likely to bother learning a new language.

Remove gravity.

>>685883767
Create the practice effect. Things don't wear out, just the opposite, they get better with use. Object must of some, minimal use to begin with, but with practice, a flint axe could become a fine crytaline work of art.

See novel of same name. Woukd completely upset world economic patterns

>>685886301
this

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>>685886221
google translate that motherfucker

place tastebuds on anus

Alter the taste buds of everyone so their favorite foods taste like shit, and their least favorite taste like their favorite.

>>685886370
Whole universe explodes. Cool but not clever

>>685886301
/Thread
No wait
/World
No wait
/Universe

I would make it so that feminists constantly have a huge black dick up their asses. Constantly being fucked while the fight for "their rights."

Headlines :"Fire no longer hot!"

Make everyone forget about the day/night cycle, except gingers. The whole world goes ape shit thinking the sun went out or some shit(even funnier as people argue about whether or not it even happened across time zones), except the gingers. The gingers are trying to convince everyone that it happens literally every day, but no one believes them.

Repeat every night.

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>>685886444
I do every night

Every time a person has an orgasm, there is a 10% chance they will change gender and a 10% chance they will change sexual orientations and a 10% chance they will change race. The results will be completely random.

>>685886444
checked and keked

>>685886324
Great book

>>685883767
all toilets flush extremely quickly and in reverse.

create a glass sphere around the entire planet which is constantly getting smaller and smaller

Make pigs fly.

>>685883767
either take down telecommunications (mainly cell phones) for a week or just plant and algorithm that randomly decides the destination of text messages rather than their given one.

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step 1: convince all the jews hitler is still alive (im a master trickster, they will believe me)

step 2: tell them to goto to north korea, where they will be transported to safety

step 3: when they get to nk, put them in a concentration camp, but instead of a camp, they work for a day and then get thrown into a fire pit

step 4: congrats, you have eradicated the jews.

Give one random human a day with my powers once a year. Effects will linger if not specified.

Universal bed time, doesnt matter the time zone. Everyone sleeps and wakes up at the exact same time. 9pm NYC time is sleepy time, wakey wakey eggs and bakey at 5am NYC time.

http://www.strawpoll.me/10128089

Or vote

>>685886324
My god, /b/ would be paradise.

I'd make all anime real.

instead of catching a cold people get ass raped by niggers

>>685887151
kek'd think of all the shit that would happen

>be trickster god
>build up reputation of fuckery
>announce my coming through prophet
>leave world alone for millennia
>people get lax
>stop believing
>plague of prostitute-frogs from the sky
>they never saw it coming

>>685887240
So... People In China are now nocturnal?

>>685887151
LOL

>>685886853
And a 10% of an actual orangutan.

Every signature changes into a dickbutt the moment it is not being observed

>>685886743
That's actually not bad. Quite clever, in fact

>>685887362
>Don't go outside without a coat on, honey, you'll get raped in the ass by niggers!

I'd make an entry in every medical book about an organ called the splanch. I'd also give every doctor the memory of learning about it in medical school and I'd create a long history behind its discovery and much detail about its purpose. Of course I'd make no such organ exist in human anatomy, and the medical community would quickly become confused when they see that no human has it.

>>685887529
What happens the other 60% of the time dumbass

>redpill everyone

Everyone suddenly looks and sounds exactly like Donald Trump.

>at the same time

>>685887802
I believe that was covered already.

>>685887827

NOOOOOOO

Everybody suddenly has a crystal clear hallucination: the words "The Game" in front of them for one hour.

The whole male race would be all Donald Trump clones and the whole female race would be Hillary Clinton clones.

posting on /b/ transforms you into a nigger

>>685887976
It wasn't, the 30% covered in the original post, plus the 10% you covered, leaves 100 - 40 = 60

And you can't say a normal orgasm, because there's only a 10% chance of that

Anybody who says the word amnesia gets total amnesia

>Turn Rick Rolling into a weapon of war by making it impossible to not dance endlessly as long as you can hear Never Gonna Give You Up playing.
>Without ear protection, you could potentially destroy the world with it.
>Terrorist attacks would be the fucking trolliest things ever, with specialized units having to come in just to turn off the music.
>Soldiers rolling through the battlefield with sick system in their humvees.
>Some sort of arms race of audio equipment. >Other absolutly retarded shit.

lace KFC with rat poison

>>685884181
You are a greatly massive and retarded faggot

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>>685888335

>>685888335
You don't math very well.

>>685888352
He said new shit.

Place a light source directly behind everybody's eyes, making them a human flashlight. Whenever they try to close their eyes they see clearly the inside of their eyelids, and whenever they try to sleep there's constant light

>>685888347
Fucking kek, nice one

A single unit of currency disappears every second

I'd make the world believe they're in the matrix while I sit back and chill, watching from above.

>>685888613
Explain

>>685888760
That wouldn't change much, more than enough is printed every second

>>685888774
You could make everyone believe they are living in a tensor, the whole matrix thing is a little played out.

Make people inhale dyoxide carbon and exhale Oxygen.

Remove all genitalia and replace it with an unisex, self reproducing one while shitting and pissing through it.

Make fire a solid object.

Make everyone see the same color different. Constantly. What is red seems blue to you at times and on other times it's green etc.

>>685887269
Can you imagine how funny banana guy will be?!>>685886324

blacks become asian, asians become white, and whites become black

increase gravity by .5% every day at midnight. It suddenly starts over at the top of the month every month.

create a wifi connection that can be reached throughout the entire planet and call it hitlerdidnothingwrong

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>>685889127
I take that back.

I would make whoever thinks/calls/pronounces themselves as any other gender but the one they were born as to be instantly spontaneously combust at that moment.

>>685888871
10% change gender
10% change sexuality
10% change race
70% regular orgasm with no side effects

The other 70% wasn't mentioned because it's implied you'll cum as normal.

make all websites redirect you to midget porn

>>685889093
Or make the world believe they're all dreaming.

Rekt.

>>685886743
See also: Nightfall by Isaac Asimov

>>685883767
Every time a password is typed in someone, it is randomly displayed on a random monitor

- Randomly select and disable 1 of 5 senses each day of the week.

- Cause random pregnancies world-wide with random genes. (Asian couple in China ending up with an African American baby with blue eyes)

- Deface Facebook, Youtube, Twitter. Watch the madness ensue!

- Make all Smart Phones disappear

Make every site like 4chan

With mods like Snacks

>>685890046
Or replace Jackie 4chan with Snacks.

>>685890046
Snacks is the internet equivalent of Mania and AIDS.

>>685883767
Kill Bernie sanders and blame Trump. Or vice versa.

move the population of North Korea to Washington, D.C. And vice versa

I would make half of the world remember the berenstain bears being spelled berenstein.

>>685890319
why not both? maybe hillary could be behind it

Make it so that everyone can read everyone's mind within a 10 ft. radius of themselves.

Turn all women into completely gorgeous goddesses. Four out of five of them love to have forceful sex in public. They will struggle and cry during but will never report it. One out of five of them hates it. You have to do it to find out. Sex Roulette.

>>685886165
That'll just make people work even harder towards anti-matter bombs

>>685890699
Nah. The point is to kill one, and start a civil war. Killing both and blaming hillary would unite everyone against her.

Once every hour I'd pick a random populated area and spawn 10 Shreks. The twist is that they're all hungry for virgin assholes.

Every male who doesn't have a micropenis will get an incurable erectile dysfunction.

>>685890610
Son of a bitch.

Everyone is now a furry.

>>685890046
hey that'd be fun
i liked WT
and Midnight Snacks threads

>>685884751
i wonder if people would even notice, come to think of it i havent sneezed in a while

i guess id do what happened pretty much a couple hundred years ago

>take all the white people and reduce their population
>put them all back in europe
>take all the other races and send them back to their original land
>take away eveyones technology except the white people
>watch as they take over the world again

>>685893220

Not the poster, but I would definitely fucking notice. I sneeze pretty often. And those with allergies would notice immediately.

>>685884466
Slow down, Satan.

>>685893630
true, but i feel like if people dont catch on in the first allergy season after the great no sneeze happening then people would get used to it and not sneezing would slowly take over secretly as normal and sneezing would become abnormal

>>685884751
I feel like it would take a little while to notice but way to completely steal this guy's idea >>685884466 and pretend that you came up with it

>>685885500
Fucking triple dubs. Witnessed.

>>685885575
>(No boring shit like killing people)

Learn to read, retard

>>685883767
Start a thread where everyone who rolls dubs gets a wish granted.

Remove everyone's nerve endings, no one will ever feel pleasure or pain again.

People will speak with their dicks. Women just can't as they don't need to.

>>685887608
Thanks. I was proud of it. Channeled coyote and all that.

Make it rain cum instead of water.

>>685886221
>implying you know Latin

I would plunge the world into anarchy, the vast wastes being ruled over by roving furry biker gangs... And the currency? Blowjobs, of course.

>>685883767
Hear me out.

So what I'd do is remove everyone's memory of the concept of lying, and inhibit their ability to detect bullshit. THEN, I would place 10,000 people across the world in varying positions of power.

Then I just masturbate to porn or some shit cause the effects from that would take too long.

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I'd make myself a wanted criminal then leak my own location to the authorities.

They would arrive with SWAT teams and shit and break into my house. Now Here's the fun part. The house it build such that it's mainly long hallways only wide enough for 1 person at a time. At the end of some hallways i'd have set harmless traps like motion sensors that trigger egg and flour to fall from the roof of that hallway.

And other more dangerous traps like triggering Friday on repeat with industrial sized speakers.

>>685883767

put everyones balls at the bottom of their feet or at their soles whatever you call that. Women will also have balls at same location.

i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot

Easiest answer: tower of Babel

Make it so No one can understand one another, sit back, watch world descend into chaos

Everybody will always stick in their USB the right way on the first try.

All Asian guys born between 2017-2022 will have huge penises, after that it will normalize and the trait will not be inherited.

Kiwifruits will begin to grow slightly more hairy each year.

The next installment in the Star Wars sequel trilogy will be one of the best movies ever made. The finale of the trilogy will be one of the worst.

The demand for potatoes will slowly reach and exceed the global production, never to be met again.

The Pope gets excommunicated.

>>685883767

> get every nation's Fed chairman to run out of the Central Bank dragging giant bags of gold and screaming "sell! sell!"

If I were a trickster god I would report everyone so they could have fun in the pokey.

The pokey guards would all be frogs on unicycles and bananas.

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>>685892487
No more wars, rapes lower, theft is now of art, copyright infringement through the roof, everybody starts fuckin....not the worst thing though....economy would fucking boom

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Make it so when rudr cunt kids/people start talking theres a faint echo of there own voice the more they talk in one sitting the louder it gets till they cant hear themselves talk. They are the only ones that can hear it and if they try telling people about the problem the sound instantly turns into nails on a chalkboard at max volume without blowing eardrums.

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>>685898409

All pens can be erased while pencils cannot.

All women are 10/10 nymphos but penises can no longer become erect.

>>685887362
So instead of catching a cold they're getting aids?

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>>685883767
if you learn to keep your eyes open for an extended period of time, if you do it in a row more than twice they stay open until you sleep and there's nothing you can do about it

time travel exists, but it's only on the internet. if you're using say a site like 4chan, it's just you responding to the same threads years apart, throughout your entire life at different periods

books you read for entertainment tell you exactly what you were looking for, and so you may end up fucked in the head and delusional

every time you have sex you will end up with a baby, no matter the circumstance or parties involved, and you always have to pay child support. each time you jack off your sperm count will decrease gradually

unless you constantly cross your eyes slightly everything you do and think will be suppressed and you will eventually die of a stroke

>>685883767
I would make people's thoughts visible above their heads in bubbles in comics.

>>685883767
remove all electronic communication. world war 3 commences in 10 minutes

I'd make /b/tards irresistible to women.
that should cause some mass confusion.

the more people you encounter
the more hornier become
compounding effect, takes days to wear off

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>>685889436
That's only correct if they're all mutually exclusive probabilities. If they're all independent (aka 10% chance of changing gender doesn't affect the 10% chance of changing sexuality, etc.) then you would have a 72.9% chance of nothing happening, a 24.3% chance of any one of them happening, a 2.7% chance of any two of them happening, and a 0.1% chance of all three happening.

I'd destroy the concept of currency

>>685888027
This guy should be president of b

>>685893534
i kek'd at this

>>685885581
Furious masturbation ensues

Seal every anus.

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>>685903328

>>685884466
Fuck you.

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>>685903473

One morning per month you wake up in a different place than you went to bed, with a range that varies with the cycle of the moon or some shit.

Food is randomly spicy from one bite to the next

Make telletubbies real. Their breeding is described by scientists as 'hellish, brutal nightmares'

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Make it so everyone constantly feels like they've forgotten something.

I think the guy who originally made pop-up ads would win this. You know, if add blockers and script blockers weren't a thing.

Magma becomes a unit of measurement

>>685904533
I always feel like that.

I'd give cats opposable thumbs.

>>685903328
The indians would pop.

>>685883767
Do what i do, and replace all the worlds leaders, with people in competent to run a society.

Endangered animals would breed like tribbles

>>685883767
Get everyone doped up on meth then take away all the meth.

Replace all pop music with black midi
Global deafness ensues

>>685883767
People lose sensitivity in certain parts, like knuckles, elbows, knees, and generally body parts we usually never think too much about. Making a dick numb would be too noticeable, but no one cares unless they get hit in the elbow. And once people realize they can no longer feel pain in their funny bone, they'll start paying attention to what else feels weird, then question "why those parts?" and worry if it'll spread. It won't but the paranoia will be huge if there is a nerve ending killer spreading around.

>>685886324
So sex can only get better? Fuck yeah, now if only I could get laid.

'Synaesthesia Friday's'
If you don't know what synaesthesiais then you should look it up.

>>685883767
Everyone turns into a turkey for 10 seconds randomly once a week

Invent a new color, get rid of one that already exists

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> Disguise myself as Jesus and say it's the second coming
>Perform miracles
>gain trust
>set plan to motion.
>Write a new bible written in some strange code
>Tell them that the book has all life's secrets
>Leave earth
>scientist and religious groups try and decipher
>year 4016
>Scientist decipher the Bible I made
>Scientist begin to publish this new bible with the title the decipher
>Title is "Mein Kampf"
>Millions are published
>Placed at #1 book of the year again
>Jews still alive
>A new religion is born that idolizes hitler
>World War 69 happens over the new religion vs Jews
>Lol from my shit throne in hell

>>685886324
>memes become funnier instead of becoming annoying after some time
>everyone starts memeing non stop
>the world becomes a meme

>>685883767
i'd make everyone immortal so they would slowly become insane from being alive for so long.

>>685906314
The world already is a meme.

the more one believes in god the more sex hurts them, male and female

Everyone has a slightly salty taste in their mouth regardless of what they've eaten or put in their mouth. It lasts for at least 3 hours after eating/drinking/smoking/sucking/ect...

>>685906615
Isn't it already like this, just retroactively?

Slowly cure AIDS/HIV to the point where no one has it at all by 2030, but no one knows there is a cure, people just think that everyone who had it before died before spreading it and everyone has safe sex now.

>>685906453
well it would become a different meme.
Right now it's an ever changing meme.
If memes only becamo funnier, then after some time one meme would become the funniest (more people start using meme, it becomes funnier than other memes, therefore even more people start using it). So the world would become a sad constant state of meme, where everything revolves around a single meme, like the banana or something. After some time everyone would get addicted to the meme, society would crumble, yet the meme would persist. After a long time, society as we know it would be gone, replaced instead by a global community to worship the meme.

Shrink every front car wheel by 1 inch and increase the size of every rear wheel by .5 inches. Only for vehicles with 2 axles.

return all dead as ghosts on the first of every month.all of them.at once.

>>685883767

replace water with orange juice

>>685907191
If that's the case then people would go to war over which meme is better if they haven't been exposed to a certain meme.

>>685907368
Goddamn that would be annoying

>>685907368
Can they talk or do they just float around and mope?

replace the "best by" date on all produce in the world so that it's a week old.

>>685907472
but they wouldn't.
They wouldn't go to war against a meme they didn't know existed. Once they found out, the better meme would win the person over.

That's a simple one^ Switch every single person's mind into another person body. At random.
Just imagine the infinite shitstorm.
>Basically end of world, because nuclear plant maintainence crew are in bodies of african children and slovakian grandma's.
>After someone survive, there is natural racism based of how good or bad body did you get.
>Also, survival, and everyone kills each other for food.
Super fun times.

turn the moon into a gigantic trollface made out of a new element that can be used as infinite energy source

I would swap the population density of traps and real females.

>>685907566
they could communicate, they are just immaterial

All text has been translated by google translate to a random language, and then translated back to the original language.

Make midgets indestructible

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>>685883767
turn all males into females
and all females into males
balance in a feminist society restored

>>685907968
kek superb

>>685883767
People stub their toes on every table they walk past and slam their fingers in every door they close

I would make all the straights gay and all the gays Mexicans. Everyone goes down a peg.

>>685907919
That's a good one!

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>>685906264
why not do it now

A disease where instead of digesting food the process is reversed. You must shove poop up your ass and eventually the original product would come out

I'd make it where Hillary wins the election but during her inauguration speech it's actually Trump inside. Make America great again faggots.

every leader of any system -religion/politics/etc.- can not lie and will always say what he means not what he wants to speak

>>685887572

kek

>>685908051
tables and doors would go extinct within a week, purely because most people would destroy them out of anger.

>>685907751
If it were completely random, I wonder how many would stay in their same bodies?

I would turn everyone into steve buscemi

>>685908749
not to mention fingerless safe-owners

>>685883767
easy mode shit here. As the god of tricksters I pull the ultimate trick of tricking myself to believe im happy. When in reality im cripplingly depressed.

fish could talk

>>685908819
1 in 7424564400 chance for everyone. Probably not very likely.

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>>685883767
invert perception of color as well as left and right in 50% of the population (they would not be aware of this change)

teleport the sol system near the next system with sentient lifeforms. lean back and watch the show

>>685889294
made me uncontrolably exhale through my nose

Shut down the iternet!

>>685886812
Underrated post.

>>685883767
anything somone types appears on their body but slowly fades within 24 hrs

>>685883767
make germany not lose the war

>>685883767
If you bite into a fruit it screams the name of the last person you fucked exept bannanas they scream the name of the blood relative you find the hottest

1. Make Atlantis real
2. Its inhabited by Jar Jar Binks

https://www.youtube com/watch?v=LLd2uAam0hI
this^

>>685910131
but but it would sink again veeery soon!

>>685910044
That's some hilariously random shit

Every Sunday of every other month, gravity is 2 times more powerful, except in Christian churches

>>685909675
Man we would all be fucked. In how big of a font would it appear?

>>685885581
Dude that would be awesome you kidding me

Convince parents to tart up their daughters, and then raise the age of consent to 16.

Then cast a glamorous allure on alcohol by making it illegal for minors, yet trivially available, and then call it a crime to engage in consensual sex with drunk women.

Oh, wait...

I'd remove all religion and any memory of it, I'd watch as humanity changed with out the feeling of an all knowing Being that would paddle their asses if they screwed up.

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>everyone in the world has a murderous lust for pudding

>>685887742
Underrated. You earn my kek

>>685883767
>build 70 km high rectangular monolith
>make it hover vertically about 500m over earth
>make it unbreakable by any force other than mine
>wait to see how humans react

chaos ensures, mass panic, aliens are here, some morons will say its a doomsay device, some will say that is the ark, came to save the human species. soon enough, fanatics will star to adore it, kill in its name. fun times.

>>685910399
position of and font of the text would depend on the emotional impact of said text on others e.g.
"dear diary i want to die" would appear in5pt on your ass
but
"FUCK YOU MOM YOUR PUSSY IS DRY AND YOUR A SLUT" would appear in 25 bold on your forehead

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Change tumblr to tumbler and watch the site tear itself apart.

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>>685909062

TLDR Thread sorry if this is already posted but i would make opposite day a real thing and it can happen more then once a year on any random day.

>>685889294
This is actually pretty good

It's impossible to get dubs

everyone has a red countdown in their vision that caounts down one year.
after one year the ocean turns pink w/o any side-effects

I would make everyone in the world absolutely despise children that they weren't related to. Some would handle this rationally, as most of us do with hate, but others would go insane with murderous fury. People would feel that they need to keep their children inside, or arm and train them before letting them outside. Several generations would grow up in constant fear that someone was going to kill them, and therefore become a stronger species on the whole.

>>685911161
The world would fall to pieces before it got to zero. The remaining people would feel so foolish.
Good one, anon

>>685911161
the ocean thing is kind of useless, but the idea to put a countdown in everyones vision is pretty great. It doesn't even need to do anything. It's instant chaos.

>>685910573
that on has potential do be a good story
also if you are enjoing this thread youll like this book(probaly)
http://www.amazon.com/T-C-Boyle-Stories/dp/014028091X/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1464074410&sr=1-5&keywords=tc+boyle

>>685885621
>half

YES!

>>685884466
Trickster god, not god of eternal torture.

I would cancel Game of Thrones and stop the books from being written as well.

>>685883767
your hair lngth is now determind by how insecure you are in general color is based on how insecure you are at the moment

>>685910273
Lol, and watch atheists struggle with their hatred of Christianity, and the feeling as if they are being crushed

I would make all black people white.